A/n: Here's another chapter! I hope you enjoy! Oh, and btw, I'm going to try to have this story through HBP by the time Book 7 comes out. Try being the key word, of course…
LunasStar: Thank you so much! I'll try to!
Chapter 2
Sirius had been in a state of almost constant confusion for a while. Not about Voldemort, or the war, but… about Remus… He flirted with him shamelessly every time they saw each other, and he could never figure out why. He… wanted to, he knew that much, but to Sirius, that still didn't explain why. Like that time at the lake...
There was this lake near Remus' house that was divided between the Muggles and the Wizarding Community. One side for the Muggles and the other side was reserved for Wizards and Witches. The Muggles simply thought that it was reserved for "private guests" only and you had a have a "special pass" to get in. That was, of course, their wand. The Wizard or Witch just showed the person at the gate (always a Wizard or Witch) their wand and was allowed in to the reserved side.
It had been James, Lily, Peter, Remus and himself. They had been having a great time. James and Sirius were off goofing around in the water, and Lily was doting on Harry. Peter was just lying on the grass, looking up at the sky. Remus was leaning back against a try, watching James and Sirius.
Sirius, of course, tried to get everyone else to come in the water, which happened to be very nice that day. Lily had to take care of Harry, but she agreed, and brought the little boy to the water, letting him splash his fight as she sat on the sand near the edge of the water. Peter said he didn't want to go in the water, and was happy were he was. Remus, however, refused to go and take his shirt off, which he would have to do if he wanted to go swimming with James and Sirius.
James and Sirius knew that Remus had scars on his chest from all of his transformations, and insisted that no one would come along and see them, and one currently in the vicinity cared. Remus, however, was still embarrassed about it, and continued to refuse.
Well, Sirius, intrigued by the attractive young man – and, yes, Sirius had used the term "attractive" in reference to Remus, as shocking as that was to himself – started to think of a way to get his fellow Marauder into the lake, and get his shirt off. Part of him was shocked that he even cared – or seemed to be caring in the way that he did – and the other part simply thought nothing about it.
So, he devised. Trying to keep a devilish look off his face, he said to Remus, "Could you bring me something to drink? I've left my wand on the shore."
Remus seemed skeptical, but agreed. So, he grabbed a glass of something – Sirius didn't know what – and walked up to the water, handing the glass out to Sirius. Sirius motioned for him to come closer, and Remus stepped forward a couple steps forward, and holding his arm out just far enough that Sirius could grab it, dragging the young man down into the war, clothes, glass and all.
Remus stood up, appalled at Sirius' actions, and the fact that he was now soaking wet, and a perfectly good drink had just been wasted.
James and Peter were laughing their heads off. They thought it was hilarious. Lily was trying her hardest not to laugh, carefully keeping her attention on her son, and away from Sirius and Remus.
"Well, I got you in the water," said Sirius, a flirtatious smile on his face which no one seemed to notice except for Lily and Remus.
"That you did," said Remus, "and now look at me!" He was now soaking wet from head to toe, and his shirt would have to be dried.
Sirius raised an eyebrow, and looked Remus over head to foot. Actually, he thought he looked amazing so wet like that, his shirt clinging to his body, water dripping down his face, and arms… He didn't tell Remus that, though. He simply looked him over, and then met his eyes again, that flirtatious smile still playing on his lips.
Remus noticed it, and ran his hands along his wet shirt nervously. Sirius smirked, "Just take it off and throw it to Lily. She'll dry it for you and give it back to you when we get back out of the water."
Remus seemed to think about it. "Alright." He said, and he took off his shirt, throwing it to Lily, who caught it expertly.
He ran a hand through his hair, and stepped back a little. He must have stepped on something, because he began to totter and then fell forward, straight into Sirius' arms. Sirius helped him stand up, his arms on his waist.
Remus looked up, nervous uncertainty in his eyes. Sirius thought about how good it felt to feel Remus' bare skin against his own, and slid his arms instinctively around his waist, making Remus step forward closer to him, so that their bare chests were touching slightly.
Sirius felt him insides go on fire, and he could not figure out why he wanted to do this. He had an instinctive urge to kiss him again…
Remus' breathing was quickening, he tried to back up out of Sirius' touch, and Sirius let him. James, thankfully, had not noticed, as he had gone to play with his son a little. Remus ran another nervous through his hair, and stepped back a little. He turned around, and Sirius splashed him with water.
Gasping at the old, Remus turned around to see a devilish smile on his friend's face. "Ok, now that's it." He said, and splashed taller man with water.
They continued like that, laughing, until James got wet from one of their splashes and decided that he'd better join in, too, handing Harry back to Lily. The three of splashed water on each other until Peter excused himself. Lily decided that they had better go to, and started to pack up.
The three young men walked up to the shore, and Lily handed Remus back his shirt. They said their goodbyes, and went their separate ways.
Sirius hadn't seen a whole lot of Remus since, but he couldn't help remembering how if felt to feel Remus' bare skin against his own. He also couldn't help thinking that he would love to feel it again.
One day, Sirius went over to Lily and James' house in Godric's Hollow. Walking through the back kitchen door, Lily was there, cooking lunch.
"Hey, Lily," said Sirius after he had walked through the door.
"Oh, hello, Sirius," said Lily, turning her head back for a moment to look at it.
Sirius hadn't been able to get Remus out of his mind. It was driving him nuts… He had to tell someone… "Lily, I don't know what's wrong with me." He said.
Turning around, but keeping an eye on her cooking, she said, "What do you mean?" Sirius continued to tell her everything he had been feeling about Remus, completely confused as to why he was feeling this way. After he had finished, Lily smiled, and said, "Sirius, you're an idiot."
Sirius, who hadn't been looking at her, snapped his head towards her and said, "What? How am I an idiot?"
Lily gave him a patient but exasperated look and told him, "Think about what you're saying!"
Sirius thought for a moment, turning his gaze away from Lily, and then it all hit him like a ton of bricks. "Oh dear Merlin…" His eyes widened in shock, and then he turned his gaze back to Lily. "For how long?"
With a patient smile on her face, she said, "I don't know, but it's been a long time. I was wondering if you would ever realize it."
His eyes took on a distant, but still shocked look. "I'm in love with him…" He said, voicing his feelings for the first time.
Lily nodded. "I was starting to think that you would never realize it." She said. "I know Remus had given up hope." Indeed, Remus had told her so himself.
Sirius' eyes widened. "Oh, Merlin – Remus!" He had almost completely forgotten about Remus' feelings, being too caught up in his own. "I should go to him. I can't believe I haven't noticed it before. I'm such a git… I have to go. Bye, Lily." He quickly got up, and left through the back door. He had to leave, and see Remus immediately if there was any hope of salvaging what Sirius had been too much of a git to notice.
Lily simply shook her head as he left, agreeing that he had been a git, and went back to her cooking.
Sirius hurried to Remus' house, and went through the back door. Remus wasn't in the kitchen, so he moved to the living room, and there he was, lounging the couch, reading a book about something or other.
Not bothering to admire him, he went and kneeled in front of him on the couch. "I'm been such a git."
Remus looked up when Sirius spoke, not knowing that he had came in the house. He held his book off to the side. "Well, I know that, but what did you this time?" Remus said, playfully, trying not to notice how close he was to him.
"The whole time… everything that happened… and I never realized." Sirius stared up at Remus, love shining in his eyes, and in his voice.
Remus' breathing started to quicken as he noticed the tone in Sirius' voice, and that look in his eyes. "What are you talking about?" He asked, uncertainty in his voice.
Sirius smiled serenely at Remus. "I've been too stupid to notice. Even after everything that went on between us, I just never realized it. That kiss… all of that shameless flirting, and I just… never noticed." Sirius inched closer to Remus. "I hope you'll forgive me for hurting you so much. I hope that you'll be able to see past that."
Remus' breathing quickened still, and the book was set down, completely forgotten. "What exactly are you saying?" He asked, even though he had a pretty good idea where this conversation might go.
Sirius kept smiling, and shook his head a little. "I still can't believe I never noticed… all that flirting, and more besides, with all those girls, and the whole time, what I wanted was right there in front of me… right from the start." Sirius said.
Remus leaned back slightly. "You don't know what you're saying." He said, his voice rising in shock and uncertainty at the handsome young man's words.
"I know very well what I'm saying. Remus," Sirius said, "I've always known. I was just too blinded by that fact that you were a guy, and I was… well, Sirius Black."
Remus' just kept breathing heavily, starting to panic at what Sirius was saying to him. Did he even realize the… full impact of his words?
Sirius just kept on, "You have to forgive me, I… I don't think I can go on. Please, Remus, I-" He was about to go on, but Remus interrupted him.
"Stop, Sirius, just stop." Remus said, trying to keep his voice calm. "You do not understand the gravity of what you're saying."
"I think I know full well the gravity of my words, Remus, I-"
"Don't say it, just don't." Remus said, interrupting him again.
"Remus, I-" Sirius began yet again.
"WEREWOLVES MATE FOR LIFE." Remus said loudly, trying to get Sirius to stop and listen to him.
"What?" Sirius said, making sure he had heard Remus correctly.
"Werewolves mate for life." Remus said in a softer tone. "If a werewolf falls in love, and, well… mates with someone, and chooses a mate, they… can't choose any other. They will be in love, and want to be with that person forever, there's no turning back."
"Remus, that's what I want." Sirius said. "I love you."
"Don't say it." Remus said. "Just don't say it."
Sirius sat up on the couch next to him. "Remus, please, believe me. I know that I've hurt, and that I've basically given you no reason to believe me, but please do believe when I tell you that I do love you," and before he could say another word, Sirius had captured Remus' lips in his own.
Remus didn't have time to react before felt Sirius kiss him. His body tightened, but eventually he succumbed to them, unable to deny the feelings he possessed for him, as passion welled inside him
The passion and fire between them in a simple kiss was incredible. Sirius slowly as he kissed Remus, began to move Remus back onto his back on the couch. Remus put an arm behind him to steady him.
Realizing what he was doing, Remus fought to break the kiss, saying, "I can't do this, I just can't do it."
"Can't do what, Remus, please," Sirius said, leaning in for another kiss.
"No, I just can't!" Remus cried, standing up, and walking towards the wall. Turning towards Sirius as he stood near the wall, he said, "Do you have any idea what you're doing to me, Sirius?"
"What are you doing, Remus?" He said. "I know that I've been a git, but please, I love you."
"Stop saying that!" Remus said. "You fall in and out of love all the time. I've seen it. Don't you understand? If I choose you, I just can't turn back. You can't just take my heart, and then tear it out. I won't recover. Sirius, I mate for life. If we do this, it's forever. You can't just turn your back on me and except it to be alright."
Sirius gave a knowing smile. "I know how you feel, Remus, and I understand. That's what I want-"
"It's what you think you want." Remus said. "None of your relationships have lasted."
"Because I was already in love with someone. I didn't want them." Sirius said. "Remus, listen, the reason none of the relationships worked out was because I was in love with you, I am in love you, and I have been since the first moment I laid eyes on you."
Remus' eyes filled with sadness. He still just couldn't believe Sirius. "Sirius, I just can't believe that."
"Believe it." Sirius said. He stood up, and walked over towards Remus. Remus backed up against the wall, trying to get away from Sirius, and Sirius put his hands on either side of him, trapping him. "Listen, Remus, I know that I've basically tortured you for all these years, but I know I finally know why I wanted to be close to you, to touch you," he said, running a hand through his hair and down his cheek. "I was just too stupid to see what was right in front of me. You, you were right in front of me the whole time, and I just never noticed. I understand what you were saying about werewolves and mating for life, and I completely understand. It's what I want, it's what I've always wanted. I would love nothing more than to wake up every morning, with you by my side, for the rest of our lives," he said as he ran the back of his hand down Remus' cheek. "I love you, with all of my heart. You have to believe me. I don't think I can go another day not being with you."
"Don't this out of guilt." Remus said, looking away. "Don't do it because you know that I can't choose any other, and you feel guilty." He turned his gaze to Sirius.
Sirius smiled. "I'm not. I'm doing this because I truly do love you, and want – no, need you by my side, from now until forever." He said. "I love you, Remus, I always have, and I swear on my life that I always will. Please tell me that you'll be with me. Please tell me that my stupid-ness hasn't ruined our chances for happiness." He leaned down, all the while having Remus trapped between his arms, giving him a light, but lingering kiss on the lips, leaving Remus' lips hungry for more. He leaned back just a little bit, to let Remus speak.
Remus put one hand on Sirius' elbow, averting his gaze for a moment saying, "You truly love me? And you want to be with me forever?" He couldn't believe it. He just had to ask him.
Sirius smiled, and nodded his head. "Yes, I do, to both questions. You are the only one I ever want in my life."
Remus looked up at him, smiling slightly. "Then it hasn't."
Sirius smiled even wider. "Good." He closed the gap between Remus' lips and his own, and covered them again. Their kisses were filled passion, and fire like Sirius had never known or felt before. They were also filled with their love for each other, which came out in every kiss, and every touch, like when Sirius lowered his hands, and took Remus in his arms.
Sirius broke the kiss, and stepped away from Remus. He took of Remus' hands in his own, and said, with a smile on his face, "Come on," and led him back to the couch, where they both sat down. Sirius then leaned, and began to kiss Remus again.
Remus, all the while, really had no idea what he was doing. However, he knew Sirius was an experienced kisser, so simply let the other man lead, hoping he wasn't making too much of a fool of himself. He knew that Sirius knew what he was doing. He broke the kiss. "I have no idea what I'm doing." He told him.
"Just let me lead." Sirius said, his face inches away from Remus'.
"What do I do with my hands?" He asked. He thought it was silly for them to just… lie there…
Sirius smiled, and chuckled a little. "You can just put them around my waist, on my chest, around my neck, wherever you like basically. When you get more experienced, you can do other things with them, like this…" He said, capturing Remus' lips again, and running a hand down his back. He brought the hand to his waist, and began to slowly move Remus on his back.
Remus broke the kiss again, having a feeling where this was going… "Sirius, no… I'm not ready for that, not yet…"
Sirius smiled and nodded. "I understand." He then moved Remus so that his back rested up against the armrest, and then began to kiss him again.
Remus broke their kiss again. "Er… are you hungry?"
Sirius, realizing that Remus was probably feeling… a bit overwhelmed at the moment, just smiled, and nodded. "Sure. You have food?"
Remus nodded. "A little. Enough, I think, for you and I tonight."
Sirius nodded. "Okay," and allowed Remus to get up and walked to the kitchen. Seeing him glance back at himself every now and then, he got up and followed him.
He just watched Remus cook, and they ate, having a short little conversation during dinner. Afterwards, they went back into the living room, and Sirius leaned back on the couch long ways, singling to Remus that he should join him. Remus did, laying his head on Sirius' chest as Sirius wrapped his arms around him, kissing on the forehead, or the side of his face every now and then.
"Can I stay?" He asked.
Remus looked up at Sirius. "What do you mean?"
Sirius smirked. "The night, Remus. Can I stay with you, in your bed, like I'm supposed to?" He asked. "If you would feel uncomfortable, I understand."
Remus smiled, and nodded. "Yes, you can, I… would love that."
Sirius smiled, and Remus felt his heart melt. "Great." He said.
Sirius made sure to go to his house quickly, and then made to sure to grab a set of clothes for the morning, and something to wear the night, and told himself that he would have to remember to move out soon, so that he could stay with Remus permanently. He would, of course, have to keep his flat rented, so that during the full moon, he could stay there, knowing that Remus would not let him stay in the same house.
That night, Sirius and Remus slept together, with Remus' back up against Sirius' chest, and Sirius' strong arms wrapped around him. Neither one of them could help but think, despite anything that they might… suspect about the other, that surely this must be paradise.