AN: Yes, I know this chapter is weird. Duh. And yes, a cliffhanger. The worst I've ever left you with. Here you go. Well, maybe not WORST, if you don't count "A New Boy at Shiz" when... nevermind. You know what I meant.

Chapter Forty-Three: A Bit of Insight

When Elphaba and Fiyero headed for the cabin in the forest, Alapedgio stayed back, sending another guard along with Number Five rather than going himself. He claimed he wanted to "get familiar with the premises". Okay, so he was snooping. Beginning with the first floor, he nosed around the house looking for anything that could tell him about the life Elphaba had returned to instead of staying in the city. However, he did go out of order a bit, for he saved the bedroom for last.

There was almost nothing to be found downstairs, and so he checked out the study and library. He noted how large the library was; it amused him to see that most of the books looked like they had been well read (especially in the fantasy section). Again, the last, uppermost floor didn't have anything of interest and so he wandered curiously into the bedroom.

The room was huge; he barely knew where to start. He decided to open the closet, first. It was a walk-in closet, and one side seemed to be Prince Fiyero's and the other Elphaba's. Half of the clothes (he noted the more elegant ones) looked as if they'd never been worn. Alapedgio laughed to himself; that was Elphaba. A closer inspection turned up no more and so he closed the closet doors and shut off the lights within.

He began digging through dresser drawers. In some drawers that held older clothes, Alapedgio began finding things in the pockets. Most of the clothes were Prince Fiyero's, of course, as most women's clothes had to be hung up. When he shut the drawers, he'd found several coins (which he'd left where he'd found them) and several old crumpled pieces of paper. Then there was the journal.

The first paper he flattened out was a notice announcing some sort of ball, requiring an escort. It had been sent, it seemed, to all of the girls at Shiz University. Strange that Prince Fiyero had it, wasn't it? On the other hand, it could be some sort of keepsake, something signifying his and Elphaba's first date or something. On the back of the page he found a couple of things scrawled in messy, unorganized handwriting: Ask her… Meeting her at the doors of the auditorium… refuses to allow me to meet her at the dorm… Glinda won't tell me what Elphie's wearing…

Elphie? He'd never expected her to put up with a nickname like that. Well, her life was much different than he'd predicted, wasn't it? Alapedgio slipped the paper back into the top drawer and smoothed out another. Class notes. "Elphaba and Fiyero" drawn in hearts. An angry pencil mark crossing it out and a note written in different handwriting, "You're acting like a lovesick puppy. Please don't act this way or I'll be forced to… well, something bad, anyway." That had to be Elphaba's.

Now it was the journal. The first page read as such:

"Today while spending time with Elphaba in her dorm room (yes, we were alone and… touching), I wanted to tell her that I loved her, but I just couldn't. I know how she'd react. She'd turn away, I just know it! Anyway, Morrible came in and it turns out Elphaba's going to the city over break. I came up with a plan so I can go along, too. Elphaba and I will be sharing a room. Oz only knows what that might lead to."

The next entry:

"Those carriage rides are as long as hell! Honestly. I kept falling asleep. So here I am, in the hotel, Elphaba's sleeping, but I'm not. I slept too much during the day. She, of course, spent the majority of the time reading. After a little while, she woke me up and… she's been acting really weird, lately. This afternoon in the carriage, we were kissing and such and she coaxed me into making her bleed between her legs. She explained later that it was just because she wanted to get that part, that pain, over with so when we do make love than it'll feel less painful, but I'm still uncomfortable. I hate hurting her. Anyway, I guess I know what that means, though. The first time… Sweet Oz, I love her so much. Tonight she asked me to sleep next to her in the bed, and I agreed (no surprise there). It feels so wonderful holding her when she's sleeping. I'd love to do this every night for the rest of my life."

Two pages later:

"I'm sitting here waiting for her to get out of her meeting with the Wizard and I can't stop thinking about last night. We finally made love – not once, but twice. She wouldn't let me turn the lights on, though, and I wanted to see her, really see her, dreadfully, but I understand her reasoning. She said it seemed more romantic with the lights off, anyway, which is true. It was incredible, having every part of her accessible to me to do as I wished. I even tasted her. It was better than honey, better than anything I've ever delighted in tasting. I want to taste that every time I make love to her from now on. And then the actual lovemaking… I can't even describe it. All I'm going to say is that we made the old lady next to us really, really mad. This morning, when I woke up, she was out of bed already and dressed and she seemed uncomfortable again. I hope that doesn't last. I'm going to tell her soon that I love her. I've got to. I should've told her last night, but something made me think I shouldn't, that it would ruin the moment. But I will tell her. I have to."

The next entry (on the same page) was written in even messier handwriting than usual, though it was no doubt Prince Fiyero's writing:

"I don't know what to do. I can't think straight. How could she want to leave me? I thought we were more than that. Apparently, the Wizard's been behind the whole Animal thing. She found that out at her meeting today. Afterwards, she almost ran off into the city, ready to leave her sister, Glinda and me, not to mention every one at Shiz. We tried to talk sense into her, hold her back, but nothing worked. And then… I said it. I told her. And what a reaction I got! She fainted. So we did what was expected; we put her in the carriage she was to share with me and got going. It's dark in here but I don't have the heart to turn on a light, it might bother her. I think Glinda and Nessa know what happened between Elphaba and I, now, and that's definitely not a good thing. Well, she's sitting here in my lap, looking almost peaceful… I wonder what she'll say when she wakes up. Will she hate me? Will she say that she loves me, too?"

There were pages upon pages more, but Alapedgio paused for a moment in thought. It confused him, the way she'd seemingly dealt with her virginity… making her soon-to-be lover cause blood with his hands rather than waiting until the actual moment of lovemaking. And then the fact that the two hadn't, in fact, waited until being married to make love… that wasn't surprising, really. However, Prince Fiyero's yearning to tell her of his love for her and her reaction immediately afterwards was unexpected. From the way she acted with her husband now, he'd have thought she would've simply jumped into his arms and responded that she loved him, too. At one point, she must've been colder and more closed off in that relationship, he suspected, as that was the only reason he could think of for Prince Fiyero to have been so afraid of saying "I love you".

Alapedgio began reading through the journal again. It detailed Prince Fiyero's plans for proposal, the actual proposal and response, and the wedding night. It went no further. He put the journal away. He had more insight now, on the beginnings of the relationship up through the wedding, but it told him nothing of the relationship more than a year afterward. Prince Fiyero seemed like he'd been less defensive at the start, and Elphaba bitterer and more unloving. Everything was much more different than it was now.

He sighed. It looked as if it was time to rummage through something that might tell him what he needed to know, but might tell him more than anyone would ever want to know, also: the bedside table. Actually, there were two. One on Elphaba's "side of the bed" and one on Prince Fiyero's. Elphaba was more impersonal, so he figured he'd start there. Alapedgio opened the single drawer.

On top of everything was a calendar. There were four days of each month marked in red with no writing on them, which he didn't need to even think in order to realize what that signified. She was a woman; of course she was tracking her menstrual cycle. In addition to those days, there were three each month marked in blue pen. Written in tiny handwriting was: "Could conceive, be extra cautious, remind F to use special contraception covers". Alapedgio raised his eyebrows. He had no idea what the last phrase alluded to. Well, he understood that those were days when she could get pregnant, and that she wanted to be careful and would remind her husband to use… something? No matter; he supposed he'd figure out what that referred to when he reached Prince Fiyero's drawer.

Beneath the calendar were letters, letters dated before the first date of the journal he'd found in Prince Fiyero's dresser. It looked to be as if it'd been the summer holidays, and Prince Fiyero had been writing to her. The gist of the letters was that he missed her terribly and that her responses were fairly humorous. Cute. Alapedgio stuck his tongue out and pretended to gag. There was nothing interesting in this drawer. Onto Prince Fiyero's.

Again, several letters. They looked to be the responses of the letters he'd found in Elphaba's drawer. He wondered if either of them knew the other had them, still. Then there were a bunch of woven Vinkus scarves. Part of him wondered what the hell they were in the bedside table for, and the other part of him really did not want to know, so he ignored them. On the bottom of a drawer was a small box labeled "contraception". Alapedgio let his curiosity get the best of him and opened it. There were many plastic sheath-looking things with elastic around the top. A "direction" page also fell out of the box, too. "Guaranteed to keep semen from entering the woman!" It advertised. That was easy enough to understand. Gingerly, he closed the drawers and headed upstairs to the fifth floor, the guards quarters, for a rest.

When they returned, Elphaba's face was dull with shock and Prince Fiyero's was set with determination. Alapedgio came downstairs as the two were arguing. Elphaba was saying, "Don't go."

"Fae, you don't understand, I have to. It's not that easy. I'm their prince, I'm obligated to go, if I'm available, and so is my father. I can't just refuse." Fiyero protested.

"But why?"

"Because my father and I have to lead them. It's that simple."

"Let me come."

"You cannot."

"Because I'm a woman, right?" She put her hands on her hips.

Fiyero took a deep breath. "These things are custom. If you think it's wrong, we'll deal with that later, but this is immediate and I have to go tomorrow morning. Please, Fae, don't argue with me on this."

"What's going on?" Alapedgio asked.

Elphaba answered softly, "He's going to war."