CJ had finally found a photographer that was willing to get pictures of the baby and the dog together and made an appointment for Thursday morning. After that she busied herself with Olivia and tried to ignore how badly she missed Dean. She felt like an obsessed girlfriend, especially since he had only been gone for an hour and a half. And yes, she was counting the minutes since he left.
But she couldn't figure out why she missed him so much. He'd been on his regular travel schedule while she was pregnant and it wasn't that big of a deal to her. She'd dealt with him being home for a longer stretch of time and then leaving for tours just fine, as well. Was it because she had Olivia and didn't want him too far? Or was she feeling the effects of the insecurities she'd been avoiding? She didn't know and it was bothering her.
Another thing that had been bothering her was how much the past few months had changed her thought process and personality. She didn't mind smiling more and having a great boyfriend and beautiful daughter, no, that was fine. But it was how reliant she was on Dean, how badly she knew that she needed him that had her bothered, and almost scared. She was more open to crying in the open, and that worried her too. What happened if the two combined into some explosion that left her in a heap and unable to care for Olivia? What then?
"What are you thinking about?" Adam asked, sitting beside her on the couch. Everyone else was doing other things around the house and Olivia was taking a nap, so it was the perfect time for an in-depth conversation about feelings.
"I'm scared." CJ whispered, pulling one of her knees up to her chest and feeling Adam scoot closer so he could pull her into his chest.
"Of what? Parenting or something else?"
"I've changed. I-I'm overly attached to and dependent on Dean, and I cry now. What if he leaves me and I break?"
"Well, for starters, he's not leaving you any time soon. He loves you and your baby way too much to even consider it." Adam started, gently rubbing her back when he felt her tears soak through his shirt. "And secondly, it's okay to be attached to and dependent on him. He's the father of your child and he's not going to screw you over."
"I'm still scared, Adam."
"It's natural to be scared of what you're new to, kid." He soothed, gently kissing her head. "You'll get used to it and adjust, and it'll all be alright."
"You think so?"
"Twelve years ago you were terrified to get attached to me and look at us now." He spoke softly, smiling when she looked up at him.
"You're right."
"I know. Go take a nap, alright? You need your rest."
"Alright. Thanks, dad."
"It's what I do, sweetheart." Adam called as she made her way up the stairs and Beth entered the living room with a curious expression on her face.
"Was she really scared to get attached to you?"
"Before I came along, everyone who was in her life left after a while for some reason or another. She was afraid I'd get bored of her and kick her away." He explained, sitting up straighter as the seriousness really started to kick in. "She's still scared that she'll lose everything. But she won't ever tell Ambrose that because she's afraid that he'll hold that against her and start using her to get what he really wants."
"He'd never do that." Beth stated, sitting beside Adam on the couch.
"Try getting her to believe that." Jay cut in, flopping into the recliner. The air around them turned tense at the realization that they were going to have to force her to see that Dean wouldn't just leave her. "We should start plotting."
"Plotting never goes well for us. She figures it out in time." Adam shot down the idea, tapping on his thigh.
"We should call Dean and let him know." Beth suggested, looking between the two Canadians.
"We can't call him now. He's only been gone for an hour and he'd only want to come back here to sort it out in person." Adam reasoned and Jay nodded his agreement.
"He had a hard enough time leaving, calling him would only make today and tomorrow hell because he wants to be with her and make her feel better but he can't." Jay added to Adam's statement and Beth sighed.
"When he comes back?"
"Totally. We could call right after SmackDown finishes taping since he'd likely be on a late night flight home." Adam suggested and Beth nodded.
"I just don't like him not knowing about this." Beth sighed, shutting her eyes as she felt the onset of a headache approach. Both Canadians nodded their agreement, Adam wishing that there was a way that they could deal with this issue on their own. But he knew that she had to admit it and hear it from the source to even start putting this irrational fear behind her.
CJ couldn't sleep that night. She didn't know what it was, but after she got off the phone with Dean and put Olivia in her crib, she just couldn't sleep. She was tired, and she really wanted to sleep, but it wasn't working for her.
Thinking it was the lack of Ambrose in bed, she thought to sleep on his side of the bed and, when that didn't work, she got one of his shirts from the dresser and tried sleeping with that. When that failed, she let out a huff and contemplated calling but decided against it because he had a busy schedule the next day. This left her laying in bed and staring at the ceiling until she decided to lay on the floor and start doing crunches. She knew that exercising wasn't going to help her sleep, but she knew it wouldn't hurt anything since she wanted to kill time and the excess baby fat(all ten pounds of it).
Once she was tired of crunches she switched to circuit through the various forms of planking she knew and then laid face down on the floor. She could feel that familiar burn that she hadn't been allowed to feel since she got pregnant and that made her smile to herself. It would only be a matter of time before she was feeling attractive again and that made her so happy. She knew that Dean would definitely disprove of her exercising so soon after having the baby, but he wasn't home so he didn't have a say in how she spent her tired time.
She wandered down the stairs, intent on getting some water, but was distracted by Jay watching TV. It was an old episode of RAW and it didn't take long for her to realize just what episode it was. Her in-ring debut was against Beth, before she and Adam got together, and she was challenging for the Diva's Title. She lost, but she got some respect from Beth for being good in the ring and Adam was there that night despite being retired, and it was a pretty big night for her.
"Any particular reason you're watching shows from close to three years ago?" CJ asked quietly, joining her uncle/older brother figure on the couch and leaning into him.
"It just kind of happened. You've mentally grown so much since then, it's incredible." Jay spoke softly, gently rubbing her arm. That was always his go-to when they had a personal conversation, he rubbed her arm to distract himself from his emotions and she just adjusted to it. "It's nice to look back to when you were still standoffish and didn't like walking around anywhere without me or somebody else you had bonded with."
"I'm still standoffish and I hate going places on my own, so..." She trailed off, grinning when he looked down at her in mock shock and playfully pushed her away.
"I thought we had made progress. But you just found a boyfriend who continues to shelter you."
"He let me handcuff him to the bed last night, I don't think I'm that sheltered."
"He's a bitch, too? Holy fuck, duckie." Jay laughed, using his old nickname for her. She playfully punched his arm, unable to contain her laughter.
"I don't have duck pajamas anymore, and Dean Ambrose is no bitch. I promise you."
"Whatever."
"What are you doing up anyways?" CJ asked, sitting up properly and leaning into him again.
"Couldn't sleep. Adam was a being bit too friendly and kept grabbing my tit so I figured I'd leave him to grope the pillows."
"I totally forgot that Beth banished you two to share a bed."
"It's nothing we haven't done before, but I don't remember him being so handsy." Jay stated, laughing when CJ groped his chest. "Why are you up?"
"Couldn't sleep. I dunno why, though. So I did some ab exercises and came down for water but you ended up being much more interesting." She explained, resting her head on his shoulder while her match started. "I was so..."
"Young?"
"Yeah. Ew."
"You looked just like you did when you were eighteen and still do now. The only difference is that your eyes are wiser and you're happier than you were then." He commented, looking down to see her eyes still focused on her match. "You're a better ring technician, too."
"Yeah. At least I didn't botch every other move, like other women in the company."
"So you are still pissed about that match you had with one of the twins?"
"My shoulder got dislocated in a shitty arm bar. That's wrestling 101. Of course I'm still pissed. And it was Nikki."
"So you're happy with Ambrose, right?"
"I'm very happy with Ambrose. We're alike in a lot of spots and our differences in other spots aren't too big."
"Plus you two made a beautiful human together."
"We did make a beautiful human." CJ agreed, smiling at his word choice. Jay was always wording things differently and it never failed to put her in a better mood. "Dean says she looks just like me, but I say that she has his nose."
"She does look a lot like you, though. Which means that Dean will be playing guard dog over her once she's ready to start dating."
"If he gets his way she won't be dating until she's married."
"What's your take on it?"
"I just want her to be safe and happy in whatever she chooses to do." CJ spoke softly, knowing that she wouldn't want to have her child be unreasonably unhappy or unsafe for any reason. "This whole parenting this has me worried, though."
"You're not going to screw up your kid. You know exactly how you don't want your little fruit growing up and I know that both you and Dean are going to be amazing parents."
"You think so?"
"You guys were ready even when she was born three weeks early. You'll do fine with whatever curveballs life throws at you."
"If I don't, I'm suing you."
"Bring it on, little girl."
Yes, CJ missed Dean terribly. But she was in good company and he'd be home soon to cuddle and help her get to sleep. Hopefully she wasn't exhausted the next day.
Thank you to ChelleLew, angelsdee327, TajiaK, Deanambrosesmile, justisgirl, Sammie94, and Sarcastic Nightmare for reviewing!