AN: All right...I'm still depressed. And jobless. So here's the second item/entry/whatever. This makes a reference to one of my first stories, Beginnings. You don't have to read it, but if you're confused about the reference to the first time Aragorn and Legolas met, that was what that story was about.

Spiders

"Don't tell me you're afraid of the forest."

Aragorn glared at his friend, refusing to reply. He wasn't afraid of the forest. He really wasn't...it was the spiders.

"Estel."

He recognized that tone. Legolas was not going to leave him alone until he explained. "I am not afraid to go out into the forest," he said, gesturing out at the trees beyond the palace.

Legolas raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest. "Then why won't you go?"

"Because every time we go into the forest we're attacked by spiders," he explained rather huffily. "That sort of thing happens far too often, and I do not feel like spending the next three days in the healing wing."

"Aragorn, when have you ever been bitten by a spider?" the elf asked curiously.

"Never, but that isn't the point," the man retorted. "If you must know, it's because you are always the one bitten by spiders and I end up staying in the healer's wing just to be sure you'll be all right."

"That is not true!" Legolas protested.

"Legolas, you were bitten by a spider three days after we met," Aragorn said. "Remember the tournament? That giant spider attacked us in the clearing and you jumped in front of me?"

"That was an exception. You were only fourteen at the time, we could have beaten them off if you'd had more training with a bow."

"Then explain why you lead seventeen spider-free scouting trips three summers ago while I was still in Rivendell, but five minutes after meeting me within the borders of the forest we were attacked by spiders?"

Legolas could not reply for a moment. "That was a coincidence?" he offered.

Aragorn just shook his head. "That may be, but I'm not taking any chances this time." He sat down on the edge of the bed, glaring up at his friend with an expression that said he would not be swayed.

The elf sighed. "Very well," Legolas said lightly. "I will go alone."

"Legolas!"

"The message has to be delivered," the elf replied, holding up the roll of parchment in his hand. "The village is half a day's journey by horse, I'll be back tomorrow."

"Oh no," Aragorn moaned, jumping back up to grab his cloak.

"What are you doing?" Legolas asked, unable to keep the amused smile from spreading across his face as he watched Aragorn gather his weapons and enough supplies to last for two or three days.

"Think about it, Legolas...every time I visit, spiders attack you the moment we leave the palace. I may not want to go, but I won't let you go alone."

Legolas stared at his friend for a moment before bursting into laughter, nearly doubling over. "Aragorn," he chuckled, "I will be fine."

Aragorn just stared at him quietly, his expression unreadable. "Of course you will," he said dryly.

The elf just shook his head. "Come along, then, if you wish," he called over his shoulder. "But we will not be attacked by spiders."

He could hear Aragorn muttering something as he followed Legolas out of the palace, though the human was speaking so softly that not even an elf could hear him.

The horses were ready in the stables, but Aragorn was still grumbling as he tied his pack onto his horse. Legolas glanced up as the ranger suddenly let out a yell, shaking one hand viciously as though to dislodge something. "What is it?" he asked in concern, wondering what could have sparked such a reaction in his friend.

Aragorn leveled a glare at Legolas, though the venom in his expression was not directed toward the prince, "It was a spider."

Legolas clapped a hand over his mouth, forcing his laugh in. "And that is all the spiders we shall see," he said when he could finally speak without laughing.

The ranger shot him a look that clearly said he did not believe the elf's words. "We shall see," he finally muttered, straightening the pack on his horse.

The pair lead their horses through the gate into the forest. Aragorn kept an eye out for danger, but there did not seem to be any.

"You see?" Legolas asked in triumph after they had ridden for about an hour. "Not a single spider in sight."

Aragorn's eyes suddenly widened. "Then tell me, Legolas, what is that?" he pointed up into the canopy with feigned calmness, though his skin was crawling.

Legolas glanced up, suddenly pulling his horse to a stop. He leapt off the beast, already unslinging his bow, and shot an arrow into the spider in the canopy. It fell to the path, dead, eight legs curled above his body.

The ranger was still frozen, staring at the spider's body. It was the size of a cat, and still gave the occasional twitch. "I told you," he muttered. "Spiders."

Legolas shot him a glance. "Perhaps that is the only one?"

A sudden skittering was heard in the branches of the trees, the canopy above them, and even in the brush around them. "Of course it isn't," Aragorn groaned. "I told you...every time we leave the palace the spiders attack."

The elf did not answer, too busy shooting what spiders he could. "Be ready to make a run for it, before they block the path!"

"Too late," Aragorn said grimly, unsheathing his sword. Thick strands of webbing appeared, weaving back and forth across the path in both directions, trapping Aragorn and Legolas where they were.

"Cut through the web, I'll hold them off," Legolas volunteered.

"Oh, no you don't!" Aragorn groused, shoving Legolas toward the web. "Every time you try to hold them off one of them bites you. You cut through the web, I'll hold them off."

He ignored the strange look from the elf, focusing on throwing rocks, sticks, anything he could at the spiders in the canopy. He struck them down as they came near, barely avoiding dripping fangs and stingers.

"Come on!" Legolas shouted as the final strand of the web snapped. He grabbed Aragorn by the arm and whistled for their horses, plunging away from the spiders' ambush to the clear part of the path.

Aragorn followed him, half-collapsing against his horse as it trotted up. "I don't believe it," he muttered, seeing that Legolas was uninjured.

At that moment, however, a large green spider about the size of Legolas' head dropped onto him from the canopy, sinking its fangs into the prince's shoulder.

The ranger knocked the spider away from his friend and quickly killed it, turning just in time to catch the elf as he collapsed.

"I told you this would happen," Aragorn muttered, easily lifting Legolas onto his horse and mounting behind him. "Every time...this happens every time."

Semi-conscious, Legolas could barely lift his head to reply. "I think...we should avoid...spiders," he finally managed to say.

Aragorn grunted, half in amusement and half in annoyance. "That might be a good idea."

Reviews? Flames? Tar and Feathers?

AN: One final note...this chapter is actually written from an idea I had for another story. I will work on it and post it eventually, but this is kind of a parody of one of the things I had planned for that part (and, of course, my tendency to include spiders everywhere I can).