Pneumonia.
CJ had a viral case of pneumonia.
Dean repeated that in his head over and over again and he still couldn't wrap his head around it. Of all the things she could have gotten, it was something that he could barely spell that could also kill her had he and Seth allowed her to continue to blow it off. She wouldn't have gotten this bad had he just taken her to the hospital when he initially wanted to.
He was pissed at himself for letting her get this bad. His job as her boyfriend was to take care of her and keep her from getting sick like this. If she was in the hospital, hooked up to shit that he didn't even understand, then he wasn't doing his job right and he owed her an apology once she woke up.
"Stop beating yourself up, Dean." Seth commented, halting Dean's pacing but not taking his eyes away from the sleeping infant in his arms to look up at the blonde.
"I should've-"
"That woman is stubborn as a mule, and you know that." He interrupted the older man, finally looking up to see Dean rubbing at his collarbone. "Until she hit that breaking point, she wouldn't have wanted to leave that bed and you know that."
"I should've insisted."
"All you could've done is keep her comfortable and basically cater to her until she got that point."
"I could've lost her." Dean whispered, finally taking his seat at CJ's beside and gently taking her hand in his. "We could've lost her. You, me, Olive. We need her, and we could've lost her all because I'm terrified to piss her off."
"Why?" Seth wasn't going to repeat his point about CJ being stubborn as hell, because now he was far more intrigued by Dean being afraid to upset her.
"Last time I pissed somebody off that I was close to they left."
"Who was that?"
"You, Seth."
The admission stunned Seth into a silence. He knew that his actions of June 2nd, 2014, had a negative affect on the blonde, but he didn't know it was that bad. He knew that his actions affected Dean and CJ's relationship, but he didn't know that he scared Dean into thinking that pissing off the people he cared about would make them leave him. He never would've thought that was possible had he not heard Dean make that admission himself and now he felt shittier than he had ever felt before.
"I'm so sorry, Dean. I didn't-"
"I'm a damn good actor, Seth. But it's alright."
"It's not, though." The younger man argued, standing from his seat to be closer to Dean. "Everyone isn't going to leave you because you upset them. Especially not CJ and certainly not because you cared about her enough to insist on her going to the hospital."
Dean said nothing, but he nodded his understanding before looking up at Seth. The younger man saw the conflict in those blue eyes and hated himself for making this an issue for Dean. He made Dean care more about how others treated him and that was never really his intent. Sure he wanted to make Dean pay for hurting CJ like he did, but he never wanted to change Dean's personality so drastically.
Well now I feel like a piece of shit. Seth thought to himself, looking down at the sleeping infant in his arms with a small frown. How much different will her childhood be because of his idiocy that drastically hurt her parents? His poor sweet girl. He'd never forgive himself for his actions now; even if Dean, CJ, and Roman ever did.
"I'm gonna go pee." Dean announced, standing from his seat and kissing CJ's knuckles. "I'll be back, your highness. Is Olive wet?"
"No." Seth responded instantly, knowing that he had just changed Olivia about ten minutes ago when Dean was too busy pacing while trapped in his thoughts and worries.
"Want anything from the vending machine?"
"No, thank you." Seth spoke quietly, not at all interested in Dean buying anything for him. Even if it was only a couple dollars he knew that he wasn't worth the money. Not after everything he did.
Dean could only nod as gently placed CJ's hand at her side before leaving, knowing that Seth was in a mood now and it was partially his fault. If he had kept his mouth shut then everything would've been just fine. Seth wouldn't be having self worth issues and he wouldn't be feeling like shit for making Seth feel like shit. It just wasn't a winning scenario for him right now.
After he relieved himself and washed his hands, Dean took a moment to splash some water on his face and look at himself in the mirror. He was tired, he was worried, and he was stressed. He wanted a drink, but with Seth being a recovering alcoholic that wasn't possible. His only other alternative was smoking, since sex was out of the question with his girlfriend unconscious, and he had promised CJ that he was done with that so he couldn't. He wouldn't break a promise to his queen just because she wasn't awake. She'd find out eventually and then she'd complain that his health wasn't as important to him as it was to her and he really didn't want to hear that any time soon.
His phone vibrated in his pocket and he was quick to answer, not even bothering to check and see who was calling.
"Is CJ really in the hospital?" Was the first thing Roman said and Dean sighed as he bit back a chuckle.
"How'd you find out?"
"Twitter. She's trending along with the hashtags 'GetWellChamp' and 'GetWellCJ'."
"The champ will not be pleased when she sees that, but yeah." Dean mumbled, leaning his head against the wall as he pictured CJ's reaction to seeing that everyone on the Internet knew she was hospitalized. "Pneumonia. The doctor said its a viral case, whatever the fuck that means. But she's been coughing up blood and passed out on the stairs when we were on our way out to the hospital. That was two hours ago and she's still out."
"How are you doing?" Roman asked, something that Dean was grateful for but also not at the same time. He didn't want to spill his guts in the hospital bathroom but he knew that he should open up to Roman and get that weight off his chest.
"I'm scared, Rome. I'm fucking scared." He admitted aloud for the first time, knowing that Roman would know what to say to make him feel just a bit better. "What if she never wakes up? I need her. Olivia needs her probably more than I do and I just- I can't lose her because she's my everything."
"You're not going to lose her, Dean. She's tough as nails, man, especially now that you two have the baby. She's got so many reasons to fight and you know that she will."
"What if she loses the fight, Roman? What then?"
"You can't think like that, Dean. You need to have faith that she'll pull through." The Samoan scolded, bringing a sigh out of the blonde. "You know she'll kick your ass if she hears about you doubting her. Have you called Adam?"
"Not yet." Dean mumbled, knowing that calling the Canadian was in order but not knowing what to tell him.
"He needs to know, Dean. That's his daughter."
"I know. I'll call him next, okay?"
"Do you want me to go down there and be with you?"
"You're busy, Roman. I couldn't-"
"I'll be on the next flight out." Was all his brother said before hanging up, leaving him to himself for a moment. He then called Adam, but got his voicemail so he left a simple message describing the situation and assuring the older man that he could handle it before hanging up and making his way back to the room where the love of his life lay unconscious and hooked up to machines to keep her hydrated and alive.
"She's trending on Twitter." Dean commented to Seth, surprised when the younger man looked up at him in shock. He had expected that Seth already knew about it, but this just showed Dean that CJ and Olivia were more important to Seth than checking his phone.
"Over this?"
"Yep. The hashtags 'GetWellCJ' and 'GetWellChamp'."
"She is not going to be happy to hear about that information being leaked."
"The company probably put it on the website as soon as I called to let them know about her being hospitalized."
"That's a violation of her contract." Seth commented, frowning when Olivia began to fuss. "C'mon, sweetheart. You're alright."
When Roman made it to the hospital, he was surprised to see that it was Seth sitting at CJ's bedside and not Dean. But he entered the room anyways, gently placing a large hand on Seth's shoulder to show some sign of comfort to the younger man.
"How is she?"
"She's been shifting around a bit, but she hasn't woken up yet." Seth answered simply, not looking back at the Samoan. He didn't want to see the sympathetic look that he knew was on his former comrade's face. "Dean is somewhere in the hospital walking around with Olivia because he couldn't keep looking at her like this. I know you're probably more interested in him than me."
"I'm here for the both of you. Always have been, Seth." Roman corrected, smiling down at the younger man in an attempt to show him how much he truly did still care about him. "This isn't easy for either of you, and right now Dean is busying himself with the baby so he doesn't lash out at anybody in any way."
"This just sucks, Roman. Why does it always have to be her?" Seth asked, looking back at the Samoan with tear filled eyes. "She always gets dealt the shittiest hands, when all she ever really tries to do is make everyone else happy. Its not fair."
"I know, Seth, but its because she's a strong woman. God only gives people what they can truly handle as a test to see if they can rise to the occasion. She will rise, and she will succeed, because that's what she does."
"But-"
"Imma tell you like I told Dean on the phone. You gotta have faith but you cannot doubt her." The Samoan put simply, pulling up a chair so he could sit beside the two toned man. "She's a tough one, but she won't like hearing about you doubting her."
"I know, man. But I don't want to lose her Roman. Her kicking this would be coming way too close and I don't ever want to be this close to losing her again." Seth spoke softly, shutting his eyes tight in an attempt to stop the tears from falling. "Dean and I- we need her to function properly. Ollie needs her mother."
"And you all will have that in CJ. Just have faith in her, okay?"
"I'll never stop having faith in her."
"What did the doctors say, anyways?"
"Its viral pneumonia that could have killed her if we let it get out of hand by allowing her to continue neglecting her body and keep exercising like she had been." Seth explained quietly, his hand searching out CJ's as he did so. Roman could only sigh, not really prepared for all that. But he wasn't at all surprised to hear that she was ignoring her body's signals to her that she needed to slow down and rest for a while. She was constantly pushing herself to be the best, and in her opinion the best didn't take breaks. No days off from her life's duties- whether they be as a mother, a girlfriend, a friend, or champion. She was relied upon by so many, and didn't want to let anybody down that she was willing to pay the price of her health for that, and that made Roman kind of uncomfortable that she didn't realize what she was doing to herself by continuously pushing herself to be the best at what she did
Still under the weather, but trying my best to push through. I have no voice, though, so my boyfriend keeps whispering to me whenever he talks to me because he's trying to be cute. Ugh, its not that cute.
But anyways, I'd like to thank ChelleLew, nattiebroskette, BoGirl111, Sarcastic Nightmare, Dixiewinxwrites12, xLadyInBuex, JeffhardyChick365, an ItReignsJustice-619 for the well wishes and for reviewing the last chapter. Every review honestly means the world to me and I can promise you all that I let out a little squeak of joy whenever I get an email notification saying that I've got a new review. Same with favorites and follows, too! So thank you so so so much!