Choices
Chapter 5 - Countdown
It's a warm night, morning, whatever. I leave the house but don't really feel like walking far. Instead I just sit on the porch steps and look at the changing colours of the sky. It's funny because when I was in the hospital, Sam went on and on about us seeing the sun rise, how beautiful it was going to be, how it was free. Now I'm out and you'd never see geekboy up at this time of the morning. Same can't be said of Bobby however.
"You're up early."
"You too. What are you doing out here so early, Dean?"
"Thought I'd watch the sunrise."
"You okay? Sam said he thought you were worrying about your Momma?"
"I'm fine. I'd just got myself to wondering what she'd have thought of what we're doing. But you know what? She's dead, Bobby and has been for 23 years and I have no idea what she would have wanted, who she would have wanted us to be. So I guess there's no point wasting time wondering is there?"
"What are you wondering about in particular?"
"It's fine. Sam's doing well, she'd like that, I think, him in a bookstore. I mean a lawyer would have been better but I think she'd understand."
"What about you?"
"I think she'd laugh, me in school at 27, worrying about assignments and exams but it's better than hustling pool and cards so what the hell, she'll have to take me as I am, won't she?"
"And your Dad?"
"Well, he's not exactly impressed with either of us right now is he? Sam ignoring his phone calls, me with a new number and not letting him know, and both of us staying with his number one fan. It's just what he wants!"
"Sam'll be up soon. You going for the bathroom first?"
"I suppose. I might even see if I can't rustle up some breakfast."
"Sounds good. You going in with Sam today or am I giving you a lift?"
"If you don't mind, I'll get a lift from you. Sam starts too late but I'll come home with him. I could do with some time in the library." It's the one thing I have managed to sort - an excuse for not needing a lift straight home and it shouldn't have taken me that long to work it out either.
It isn't until I'm in the shower that I realise my mistake in the way I spoke about Dad. I said I knew he'd been calling Sam and that he didn't have my number. I hope Bobby didn't pick up on it.
I am out of the shower straightaway and Bobby hasn't yet caught up with Sam, so I should be okay so long as I don't leave them any time alone to talk. How stupid was that! It's so easy to slip up. Lying used to be easier when the people I was lying to didn't really matter to me.
I manage to get Bobby into the truck without leaving him any time to talk to Sam. By the time he gets back from dropping me and finishes his other jobs, Sam should be safely on his way to work.
I stilll haven't worked out what I'm going to say to Dad. I suppose the only thing I can do is hear him out and then hope inspiration comes to me then.