Ok, first of all I do not own Shaman King.
This story is based on Jaclyn Moriarty's book "Calling Cassie crazy" so basically the Note Book TM is her creation, there will be OC's but they will NOT and I repeat, NOT be Mary-Sues. Ren's writing will be in italics. Anyway, enough jabbering, ONWARD!
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Before you read another word, write your FULL name on every line on this page! Don't be afraid! Your Note Book TM is meant for writing in!
Hello Tao Ren! It's great to meet you! Hey, wait a minute. That name sounds familiar!
Tao Ren? Isn't that the name of a FAMOUS AUTHOR!
Well, is it? Not sure? Maybe one day?
There's only one thing that is sure! And that's this: the answer is in your hands!
Or, to be straight with you, Tao Ren, the answer is in this super-cool, fantastic Note Book TM!
It's simple. We ask questions. You answer them.
And by the time you get to the end of the book, you're an author!
Think it's crazy? Think again. Ever heard of William Shakespeare? Jane Austen ring a bell? How do you think those guys got started!
You ready?
How do you know, deep in your heart, that you WILL be an author one day? (Go on Tao Ren , it's your turn now…It's going to be fun, fun, FUN! )
I absolutely refuse to believe that Shakespeare or Jane Austen were inspired by this piece of junk. Besides, I don't want to be an author, I WILL become Shaman King and I will wipe out defiled trash like you!
Wonderful! Now, how do you know you have the determination to see your dream through?
Well, there's the fact I'm ACTUALLY filling this piece of crap in, just because my sister and the counsellor said that this would help me get out all my inner emotions and therefore make me a better person and supposedly a better Shaman. See? I'm doing this to be Shaman King not an author! Kisama!
Also I wrote my name on all the lines, I would usually find that kind of thing extremely insulting to my intelligence and give it to Horo Horo as he would probably find it mentally challenging and has the intelligence of a wet noodle.
Ok, great. Now, what was it that made you stop in the book store today, pick up this book, and take it over to the counter pay for it?
My counsellor bought the book to the session. I didn't buy it. She said it would give me inspiration but all it's given me so far is a migraine.
Interesting. Ok, let's start with something simple. Look around you right now. Write down a list of everything that you see.
Is this really necessary? OK:
An over-annoyingly positive and hyperactive Note Book.
An over-annoyingly positive and hyperactive moron.
A rather relaxed, extremely laid-back guy, possibly on marijuana, couldn't say.
We bet you just wrote down "grass", "water", "sky" etc, etc. Maybe you noticed the coffee cup, but we bet you didn't get the lipstick stain on the side of the coffee cup! Now, go ahead and try again. Write down EVERYTHING that you see.
Oh, so it's "We", is it? I might have known, this whole thing is just WAY too retarded for just one person to come up with.
I don't get it. I don't drink coffee and I don't wear lipstick. You're being very stereotypical assuming whoever writes in this thing spends most of their time in a café gazing at "grass", "water" and "sky". Come to think of it, did they have coffee in England in Shakespeare's time? I don't think so.
The first over-annoyingly positive and hyperactive moron (the one that looks like a spiky haired snowball) is now, rather delightfully, absent-mindedly picking his nose. Need I go into more detail?
That's better! Now, do you know the names of any of the plants or animals that are around you?
Animals: Ignoramus stupidus aka the Boro Boro. (Known to few, as the Horo Horo.)
What are some of the colours of the things that you see?
Maybe I could dress him up like a monkey and sell him to an organ grinder.
Ok, time for your first "QUICK FLICK". These are "memory" exercises which you will find throughout your Note Book TM. You'll really start to look forward to them! Think for a moment, and then describe for us your very first day at university.
Me? Start to look forward to them! I highly doubt it.
Just one point;
YOU LOSER. DO YOU ACTUALLY THINK THAT IF I WENT OFF TO UNIVERSITY I WOULD ACTUALLY CONSIDER STILL VISITING A PERSON WHO INSISTS ON PICKING THEIR NOSE SO MUCH THAT THEIR FINGER GETS LODGED UP ONE OF THE NOSTRILS AND THINKS THAT SHOWING FLATULENCE IS ACTUALLY A WAY OF COMMUNICATING!
DOES IT SOUND LIKE I'M AT UNIVERSITY? HAVE YOU BEEN LISTENING TO ANYTHING I'VE SAID? NO? I DIDN'T THINK SO.
IF ANYONE NEEDS COUNSELLING IT'S YOU!
Tell us the occupation of your best friend. Is he a plumber? Maybe he's an accountant! We'll leave a couple of pages now so you can tell us ALL about your best friend!
A couple of pages? Now really, you're too kind!
Sorry, I don't meet many plumbers in my occupation. I know a sort-of Doctor, but I don't somehow think of him as a BEST friend. I don't have a best friend, I have sort-of friends who I sort-of kill on a regular basis. Here I'll list them for you enjoyment:
Ren's Personal List of Sort-of friends whom he sort-of hates but sort-of likes
Yoh: Professional slacker extraordinaire, still not convinced he's not on marijuana. (Think he hides it inside his pillow).
Manta: Short, rich, geek, tails Asakura a lot, head usually found in a dictionary.
Diethel: Pessimistic, tends to wig out a lot, looks like a girl.
Anna: Itako, control freak. Enough said.
Tamao: Doesn't say much, likes Asakura, blushes a lot.
Pirika: She's the wet noodle's sister….
(Since you've left me a couple of pages I decided to add a few people that under normal circumstances I would not claim as a butler, let alone a friend! What! Trees were harmed in the making of this book! I don't want them to have died in vain!)
Chocolove : Thinks he's God's gift to humour, specialty is lame jokes, dressed me up as Cinderella….never quite forgiven him for that.
… Can't believe I'm writing this…
Horo Horo: Ainu-baka snowboarding freak, spiky haired snowball, wet noodle, future organ-grinder's monkey.
Bokutou no Ryu: Meh… I don't have the words… Or the time.
Horo is throwing the offensive, squidgy , sugary substance that the American's call marshmallows at me. That's his own primitive way of getting my attention. Anyway, we all have places to go.
Eg. I'm going to kick a certain baka Ainu's ass; as for you, you're going on a one way trip to the recycling. (Hey, at least you'll be used for something else?)
Well done! That was fabulous!
And guess what? You did it! You finished Part 1 of your Note Book TM! We are SO PROUD of you! Be sure and take a break before you go on to the next chapter….
Kisama!
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Ok, that really was bad, sorry about the various character bashing! I love em' all really! Maybe Ren was slightly ooc…I dunno. Review if you feel like it but try not to rub it in! Not too many flames please I am extremely sensitive and will probably go into hiding for a year.
Oh, just to remind you, I didn't make up the corny questions the Note Book Tm was asking(give or take the odd word) but the answers were my own, otherwise this fic would be TOTALLY pointless. Not that it isn't pointless already. What can I say? I enjoy writing trash! The next chapter (if I choose to continue) will mostly be in diary and letter form. The NotebookTM probably won't come into it again for a while, if at all.