Choices
Chapter 11 - The Future Beckons
I think the older I get, the more selfish I become. I don't want this life I'm leading now to change. I figure the boys and I are family now. Dean seems settled and happy with Rachel and content with the life here. Just those few months ago, when John tried to take him again I was truly worried for him but now I know if he came by again, neither boy would hesitate to send him packing.
I keep my ear to the ground for news of him because without his boys, I am sure his days are numbered. The last I heard, he was spending his days drinking himself into oblivion. I have no intention of telling the boys this, in case it brings back Dean's guilt.
Dean's strength and vigour are back. He is happy and laughs freely. Rachel and the children have started to visit more frequently. Dean and the children tramp through the woods exploring, while Rachel marks work on the porch or relaxes with me. Some afternoons, he collects them from school and he gets invites to many of their school events. I can see him growing closer to them all and wonder how long it will be before he leaves Sam and I to live with them.
Sam is less settled now. He and Rosie seem to be going through a rocky patch and are finding life harder. I haven't been able to fathom what the problem is. Dean is working on it through and I know he's spoken to them both but as yet nothing seems completely resolved. Sam's mood is enough to drive anyone away at times but Dean is unfazed by it. It serves to emphasise again how Dean's role within the family has always been that of mediator.
I often remember now, the time when I first married and Ellen and I came out to look at this house. We sat on the porch steps and dreamt of our future. We imagined ourselves in a few years with children playing and then years later, converting some of the outlying buildings for each children to have as their own home and how we would watch our grandchildren play. It was a beautiful dream. A dream that was shattered the night my wife and son were killed.
Sitting here now, watching Dean play with Rachel's children, I can feel my Ellen beside me, happy. She's happy that at least now some element of that dream could be filled. The thought occurs that I could offer Dean one of those buildings to make into his own home with Rachel. That selfishly is a way to keep him here, to keep this mismatched family we've become, together. I'll talk with him tomorrow.
I can make the same offer to Sam as well. I could see if it offers him some of what he's searching for - independence but staying with this family.
I settle back in my chair and watch the scene before and feel my Ellen smiling with approval.
We have a new and brighter future before us.
Author's Note: Thank you to Rae Artemis throughout for encouragement and betaing skills. Thank you also to everyone who has stuck with the story this far. This one is now over but I already have some more new stuff in the works.
If "Cruelty" is still out there - I have taken note of your request and have a bit of something written for you but... no more shall pass my lips/typing fingers at this point, but you might want to try and get in touch.
Good wishes to you all and Thanks for reading.