(A/N: Wow, I've gotten a lot of reviews, and the race hasn't even really started yet! Most of them are for one team in particular, but I won't name names, because you people know whom you are. Okay, on with the race!)
Out of the other ten teams, ORSON & ROY are the first team to reach their luggage. Orson rips open the clue and reads it aloud.
"Fly to the city of Cluedoville…"
"Teams must now travel by taxi to the Fictograph City Airport," said Ed in a voice-over, "and book passage on one of two flights to the city of Cluedoville. The 557 can house four teams and departs an hour and a half ahead of the 559, which can house seven teams. When teams arrive at the Cluedoville airport, they'll find their next clue."
"…You will have 200 dollars for this leg of the race," Orson finished.
Roy counted the money to make sure it was all there. "Let's motor, Piggo,"
MARTY & JENNIFER reach their bags second.
"Cluedoville?" Jennifer asked while Marty read the clue.
"That's what it says, dear. Now, let's get a cab."
PAUL & MEIST are third.
"…When you land, search the airport for your next clue…" Meist read.
"TAXI!" Paul shouted.
"Paul, we're not even near the road yet," his wife pointed out.
"Oh, that might help."
ANTHONY & MERCEDES are fourth.
"Travel by taxi?" Mercedes asked. "Oh, is that one of those yellow cars you pay to take you places?"
"Yeah, that's it," said Anthony. "I just hope this 200 bucks is enough."
VIOLET & MICHAEL are fifth.
"Fly to the city of Cluedoville…" Violet read. "Ugh! Stupid inhibitor is so itchy!"
"Maybe they'll let us take them off during the Pit Stop," Michael said.
"Whatever, let's just go!"
MAKO & REI are sixth.
"Fly to Cluedoville," Mako read. "Where's that?"
"I don't know, but hopefully the pilot does," Rei said.
HAL & MALCOLM are seventh.
"…Once there, search the airport for your next clue," Hal read.
"Cluedoville? Sounds kinda lame," said Malcolm.
ZACK & CODY are eighth.
"Quick, let's get a taxi!" Zack said.
"Hey, wait for me!" said Cody.
MIKE & SULLEY are ninth.
"Fly to Cluedoville?" asked Sulley. "Think we'll blend in?"
"Don't worry about it!" Mike assured. "Just follow my lead."
HANK & PEGGY are tenth.
"Let's move it, Hank! That airport is going to be a madhouse!"
"For once, Peg, you're right."
VIOLET & KLAUS are sadly last.
"There are two planes leaving an hour and a half apart," Klaus noted.
"Yeah, with our luck, we'll end up on the later flight," Violet mused.
"Now is not the time for angst, sister, now is the time for motion!"
ORSON & ROY stood on the sidewalk and tried to get a cab. Unfortunately, not many Fictograph City cabbies were willing to stop for two farm animals. MARTY & JENNIFER soon arrived while the pig and rooster still stood there.
"Good luck getting a cab," Orson told them, "nobody's stopped for us."
But as soon as Marty stuck out his thumb, a yellow car pulled up and let them in.
"Oh, I get it, it's because we're animals, and they're humans!" Roy fumed. "Lousy rotten cabbies."
"I know, aren't they?" said a strange voice. When Orson and Roy looked to see who said that, they saw another cab moving slowly, with the window down. "Hop in, I'll give you a ride," said the cabbie.
"Thanks a million!" said Orson. The cab pulled away just as PAUL & MEIST arrived. ANTHONY & MERCEDES were on their heels.
Just then, another cab pulled up. Paul shoved Anthony aside to get to the cab. Anthony landed on his rear. Concerned, Mercedes ran to him.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
"I'm a little sore, but otherwise, I'm fine," he answered. "Aw, bugger! They got away!"
After that little altercation, VIOLET & MICHAEL arrived. Another cab came by.
"This one's ours!" Mercedes said to them forcefully.
Michael started to charge the two of them, but Violet held him back. "Mike, no! The last thing we need this early in the game is enemies!" As the two hitchhikers sped away, Michael grunted in defeat.
MAKO & REI arrived, and so did HAL & MALCOLM.
"Hey, we were here first, so the next cab is ours!" Michael told them all. He stared them down, and they agreed. The next cab pulled up, and the two supers stepped in.
"So, who gets the next cab?" Mako asked.
"Rock, Paper, Scissors?" Hal offered.
"Okay,"
"1, 2, 3, Shoot!"
Hal won with paper. The next cab came and the Wilkersons got in.
"Pleasure doing business with you ladies!" Malcolm said waving.
Rei sighed. "Well, maybe we'll get lucky. Maybe a cab will come before the next team gets here."
Sure enough, a yellow car pulled up for them. Off in the distance. Mako could see ZACK & CODY running up. "Quick, get in the car!" she yelled. The car pulled away just as the twins arrived.
"Rats!" Cody fumed. "If only we were a little taller, we could have taken that cab from them."
A few seconds later, MIKE & SULLEY arrived. Another cab came. The two monsters tried to get in, but the cabbie stopped them.
"Sorry, big guy, can't take you. Not enough room!" On hearing this, the Martin brothers jumped in and shut the door.
"I love being the size we are!" Cody exulted.
As they drove away, Sulley sat down. "Great, now what are we going to do? None of these cabs are large enough to fit me!" While he was moping, HANK & PEGGY arrived, along with VIOLET & KLAUS.
"Hey, hey, hey, why the long face?" Peggy asked Sulley, trying to make conversation.
"We lost a cab because of my size," he answered.
"Hmm, sucks to be you!" Klaus said.
Just then, a checkered cab pulled up, with a tall roof. It looked like it would fit Sulley just right.
"Go ahead, take it," the others insisted, "We can take the next one!" Mike and Sullivan got in and took off.
As soon as they were gone, Hank narrowed his eyes at the orphans.
"No gottdang way are you getting a cab ahead of us!" he spat.
"I don't know, I'm feeling lucky today," Violet answered.
The next cab to come by was a cramped yellow one. The Baudelaire kids sprang up like jackrabbits and ran to it before it ever got to the curb. Needless to say, they got to it first.
"Nice going, Hank!" Peggy said. "Your little put down just knocked us down to last place!"
"We might have been in ninth if you didn't insist those monsters take the checker car!"
"I was making friends and influencing people, dammit!"
In the heat of their argument, they did get a cab, and they did head for the airport.
In the midst of this chaos, MARTY & JENNIFER made it to the airport. Just a few feet behind them were ORSON & ROY. The elderly couple and the farm animals raced inside. Marty got to the ticket counter first.
"We need two tickets to Cluedoville, on the 557, if you can!" he said. He got his tickets without incident.
(MARTY & JENNIFER, 1st on flight 557)
Orson ordered his tickets next. Again, they were acquired without mishap.
(ORSON & ROY, 2nd on flight 557)
PAUL & MEIST were next at the airport. Paul went to the ticket counter while Meist looked for the gate.
"Two tickets to Cluedoville, please," Paul asked.
"Sure," said the girl working the counter. But when she looked on her computer to see the flights, she spilled her coffee on the computer. "Oh, geez, that's not good!" She tried to sop it up with her blouse, and was successful, for the most part, but ended up pressing random keys on the keyboard.
"No, no, no, there's no Uoijlk Tyghbbv flying to Qweasdswd!" she yelled at the computer. She repaired the damage and returned to work. "Oh, wow, it looks like there's no more room on the 557 to Cluedoville. Um, I could put you on the 559, if you wish."
"Look, I was told that four teams could take the 557, and I only see two teams over there waiting for it, so there must be room on that flight for us!"
"Sir, I don't think yelling is going to help you out any. Now, I'm doing the best I can, considering my computer is all sticky with coffee. Now, I can put you on the standby list for the 557 and book you for the 559, so that in case someone doesn't make it to the 557, you can board there okay?"
"Do I have a choice?" Paul asked.
"Yes, you can choose not to go to Cluedoville at all! Is that what you want?"
"All right, all right, I'm sorry. We'll just take whatever you have."
Dejected, Paul strode back to where his wife was waiting.
"Did you get the tickets?" she asked.
"No, the idiot ticket girl got coffee all over her computer. We could still maybe make the 557, but there's no way to know for sure."
Seconds later, ANTHONY & MERCEDES arrived.
"Two tickets to Cluedoville, if you please," asked Anthony.
"All right. Come on, computer, work! Work, please work! YES! All right, there's two seats on the 557 with your names on them."
"Thank you!"
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES, 3rd on flight 557)
On seeing this, Paul rushed back to the ticket counter. "Did you say your computer was working again? Can you re-book us on the 557 now?"
"Okay, I'll try, but I don't know if I can. Come on, work, once more for mama, please! Okay! You and your wife have a great flight!"
"We're on the 557?"
"Yes, sir!"
(PAUL & MEIST, last on flight 557)
After this, the other seven teams arrived one by one and booked passage to Cluedoville on the 559. On this flight are VIOLET & MICHAEL, HAL & MALCOLM, MAKO & REI, ZACK & CODY, MIKE & SULLEY, VIOLET & KLAUS, and HANK & PEGGY.
Once teams land, they will have to search the airport to find their next clue.
At 3 PM local time, Flight 557 lands in Cluedoville. PAUL & MEIST are off the plane first, followed successively by ORSON & ROY, ANTHONY & MERCEDES, and MARTY & JENNIFER.
"All right, guys," Orson said, in a take-charge manner, "fan out. That clue box has to be around here somewhere!"
The four teams went off in different directions. It wasn't long before the clue was found, though.
It was Meist who spotted it first. "Hey, guys, over here!" The other teams rushed over while Paul ripped open the envelope.
"Use these three cards to locate your next clue…" Paul read.
Teams must now figure out the meaning of the three Clue cards found in the clue envelope. The three cards are Colonel Mustard, the Knife, and the Lounge. What teams don't know is that the Lounge is the name of a popular bar in Cluedoville, and that Colonel Mustard is at that bar, waiting with a knife in one hand, and their next clue in the other.
The other teams grabbed their clues and dispersed.
"What does it mean?" Paul asked, holding the cards.
"I don't know," said Meist, "maybe, we have to find these three things?"
"Excuse me," Marty asked a passer-by, "can you help us find the Lounge?"
"It's downtown," the stranger said, "but that's all I know. Sorry."
Somewhere else…
"Look, maybe we can buy a map or something," Anthony suggested.
"Best plan I've heard all day," said Mercedes.
"Well, Ors, do you have any bright ideas?" asked Roy.
"No, none, I'm afraid," he said sorrowfully. "Wait, those two are buying a map. That's what we should do!"
"Maybe, or we could ask them to share the map, eh?"
"Roy, are you planning something devious?"
"Only by a little bit, I swear!"
"Okay, it's worth a shot. Hey, Mercedes, wait up!"
Out of the group, MARTY & JENNIFER were the first to take steps toward the next clue. And I do mean steps, because they went on foot. ANTHONY & MERCEDES were close behind, with ORSON & ROY following them. PAUL & MEIST were last, still trying to figure out the clue.
"What if Colonel Mustard is in the Lounge with the Knife, and he has our next clue?" Paul suggested.
"Maybe, but where's the Lounge, then?"
"Perhaps they know! Let's tail them!"
Despite Mercedes' excellent map-reading skills, MARTY & JENNIFER make it to the Lounge first. Inside, they see an elderly gentleman with a Knife.
"Do you have the next clue?" asked Jennifer.
"I do," he answered, and pulled it out of his jacket.
(MARTY & JENNIFER are currently in first place.)
Marty ripped open the envelope. "Roadblock," he read, "Who's got better aim?"
The next scene is one of Ed standing in the Lounge.
"A Roadblock is a task that only one person can perform, and no one can perform more than six on the entire race. In this Roadblock, that person will participate in a popular Cluedoville sport: knife throwing. The racer will be given three knives to throw at this target, with an oversized bulls-eye. If two of the three knives land on the bulls-eye, the next clue will be given. If not, the player will have to wait five minutes before they can try again."
"You want to do this one, Jen?" he asked so politely.
"Sure, I've got some fair aim."
The female bartender handed Jennifer three knives. "What you want to do is put them right into that green area, okay?"
Jennifer bounced up and down to loosen up. Then she gripped one knife on the blunt side of the blade and chucked it. It struck the target, but by the handle, so it bounced off. All of the bar patrons laughed heartily.
"It's all right, Jen!" Marty coaxed. "Just bury that thing!"
Jennifer shrugged off her embarrassment. She was just about to make her second throw when the door swung open. It was the other teams who had been on the earlier flight. Jennifer tried to ignore them as they got their clues.
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are currently in second place)
(ORSON & ROY are currently in third place)
(PAUL & MEIST are currently in fourth place)
"I'll do this one," said Anthony. "I was working on my aim on the plane."
"Let me take care of this Roadblock, Orson. If I can hit a craven duck from twenty feet, how hard could this be?"
"You can do this one if you want, dear," said Paul.
"No, that's okay, you go ahead," said Meist.
Anthony, Roy, and Paul were told they would have to wait until Jennifer finished before they could have their turns. They agreed.
Jennifer tried to get back into the zone, but it was difficult with twelve new eyes watching her. Learning from her previous mistake, she gripped the knife by the handle before flinging it. This time, the blade bit deeply into the target, right on the green bulls-eye.
"Way to go, honey!" Marty cheered. "Just one more, and we're out of here!"
Jennifer breathed deeply. With one throw, she could decide when she and Marty would leave. She sized up the target one last time, and let the knife fly. When she saw it in the bulls-eye, she jumped two feet in the air.
As Maxine handed Jen her clue, she had to ask, "Where did you learn to throw like that?"
"I learned from my husband," she answered.
As Anthony stood up to take his turn, Marty and Jennifer tore open the clue.
(MARTY & JENNIFER are still in first place.)
"Travel on foot to the First Baptist Church of Cluedoville…" Jennifer read.
Teams must now walk ten city blocks to the First Baptist Church of Cluedoville, and search among a group of similarly dressed clergy for the pastor, Reverend Green. He will give teams the next clue.
"Come on, let's go!" she said, nudging her husband out the door.
Back inside, Anthony was warming up for his first throw. "Okay, no pressure, this is just a practice throw," he told himself, "don't panic." He stuck the knife out and pointed it at the target, as if to challenge it. He pulled his hand back and chucked the knife. It buried itself deep into the wood…of the floor.
"Hey, kid!" said one of the patrons, who was also throwing knives, "you released it too late. Next time, try letting it go up here."
"Okay, thanks!" he said. Anthony warmed up again, this time taking the guy's advice, and releasing it earlier. This time, it hit the target, but not the bulls-eye.
"Ugh," Mercedes said, disgusted with the result. "That's all right, we can do better next time!"
Anthony sat down while Roy took his mark. Needless to say, he wasn't pleased. He had cost his own team five whole minutes, or maybe more.
Roy ruffled his feathers and prepared for his first shot. "Okay," he told himself, "just imagine Wade's face on the bulls-eye." Roy fired it with expert precision, and it landed in the exact middle of the bulls-eye.
"All right, Roy!" Orson cheered.
At this point, Roy decided to get a little creative. He threw the next knife like a boomerang, underneath his leg. But it was useless showboating, because he missed the target.
"Hey, Cross-eyes!" jeered the crowd. "Next time, you might want to try looking at the target!"
"Don't let it get to you, man," Roy mumbled. "Just put this last knife in the target." He zoned in, focused on the target, and let it fly. It connected! "YES!"
Orson jumped up and hugged Roy. After pulling apart in disgust, they got the next clue from Max.
(ORSON & ROY are currently in second place.)
Roy ripped open the clue and read it. "…Once there, search the group of clergy for Reverend Green to get your next clue." The farm animals burst out of there just a hair slower than the speed of sound.
Meanwhile, MARTY & JENNIFER had arrived at the church. They opened the doors and saw a veritable sea of people sitting in the pews.
"Okay," said Jennifer, "how do we know which one is Reverend Green?"
"I guess we just ask," Marty suggested. "Excuse me, do you have the clue?"
"No, sorry."
"This could take a while," Jen observed.
Back at the Lounge, Paul was taking his turn. He sized up the target, readied his hand, and threw the knife like a baseball. He was ecstatic when it went into the bulls-eye.
"Wow, Paul," Meist said, "where did you ever learn to throw knives like that?"
"Uh, I don't know," he said. He threw the next knife right into the bulls-eye. "Oh, look, dear, I did it. Now let's get our clue!"
Meist did as her husband suggested.
(PAUL & MEIST are currently in third place.)
"We have to go on foot?" Paul said. "For all we know, the church could be eight blocks from here!"
"Ten blocks," said the bartender.
"Well, let's get moving."
For Anthony, watching those two leave was like salt in an open wound. Because he goofed, he and Mercedes had now lost whatever lead they had.
"How much longer do I have to wait?" he asked.
"90 seconds more," said Max.
As she said that, flight 559 landed a little earlier than expected. Off the plane came, sequentially, HANK & PEGGY, HAL & MALCOLM, MAKO & REI, VIOLET & MICHAEL, VIOLET & KLAUS, ZACK & CODY, and MIKE & SULLEY.
"All right, that clue has to be around here somewhere. Everybody start looking!"
"It's not over here!" said one of the racers.
"Nothing over here!" said another.
Malcolm spotted the clue box first. "Hey, Dad! Over here!" Hal caught up to his son, and they took a clue from the box. MAKO & REI were right behind them.
"Use these three cards to find your next clue? How are we supposed to figure this out?" asked Mako.
"Maybe our next clue is in the Lounge, with Colonel Mustard," Malcolm suggested.
"Okay," said Hal, "but then where is that?"
"I don't know, let's just go into town and look around."
The four of them took off, but as they did, they pointed the teams behind them to the clue box.
HANK & PEGGY were the next team to get the clue, followed by VIOLET & MICHAEL, VIOLET & KLAUS, ZACK & CODY, and MIKE & SULLEY.
"What the…? How are we supposed to know what these three cards mean?" Hank asked nobody in particular. On hearing this, Peggy pulled him aside.
"Obviously, our next clue is in Boddy Mansion, the site of the game. Why else would they give us game cards? Yep, that's it! Now come on, we don't want the other teams following us!" Peggy and Hank left while the other four teams contemplated the meaning of the clue together.
On the other side of town, ORSON & ROY had arrived at the church. They found Marty & Jennifer there still looking for Reverend Green.
"Hey, guys!" said Jennifer. "Don't look on that side of the church, we already looked there and he's not there!"
"Okay, thanks!" said Orson. He walked up to one of the clergy. "Are you Reverend Green?" he asked.
"Yes, I am," he said, "here's your next clue."
"Thanks! Hey, you two, it's this one!" The McFlys ran over and got their clue too.
(ORSON & ROY are currently in first place.)
(MARTY & JENNIFER are currently in second place.)
"Detour," Roy read, "High or Low?"
We see Ed strolling in the church's courtyard.
"A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this Detour, teams have to choose between High and Low…
"In High, teams will strap themselves to a safety harness and climb the church steeple all the way to the top. At the top, a church employee will give them their next clue, which they cannot open until they climb back down. This task is frightening, but teams can finish quickly. However, if another team is climbing, teams will have to wait until they come down before they can start themselves.
"In Low, teams will climb down this manhole two feet from the church, into the Cluedoville city sewers. Once there, they will search through 50 square feet of raw sewage to find their next clue. There's nothing too frightening about this task, and there's no need to wait for other teams to do it, but digging through filthy water for a clue might take some time."
"I say we do High," Marty said to Jennifer. She agreed.
"Do you think we can climb this tall steeple, Ors?" Roy asked.
"It's worth a try," he answered.
But in the footrace to get outside first, the McFlys won. The race official strapped Marty and Jennifer in for the climb while the farm animals waited patiently.
"Okay, one foot in front of the other," Jennifer said, trying to talk herself into the climb.
Back at the Lounge, Anthony's prescribed five minutes of agony were up, and he could try again to complete the Roadblock.
"Don't fret from your mistakes, man," someone said, "learn from them!"
Anthony took that advice to heart. He was just about to make his first throw when the door opened. It was HAL & MALCOLM, followed by MAKO & REI, getting their Roadblock instructions from Colonel Mustard.
(HAL & MALCOLM are currently in fifth place.)
(MAKO & REI are currently in sixth place.)
"I'll take this one, Dad," Malcolm said.
"I think you better do this one, Rei," said Mako.
Malcolm and Rei took their spots in line. Neither of them was pleased to hear that they had to wait until Anthony finished.
Anthony loosened up, shook off some of the nervousness, and let the first knife fly. To his surprise, it hit the bulls-eye! He jumped up and down excitedly. Then he grabbed his second knife, and tried to throw it exactly the same way he did last time. Even more surprising, it hit!
Mercedes jumped up and ran to her partner, gripping him in a tight embrace. They grabbed the next clue and left in a hurry.
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are currently in fourth place.)
"Okay, find the church on the map. We'll be there in a jiffy."
While Anthony was throwing knives, PAUL & MEIST made it to the church. From a distance, they saw Marty & Jennifer climbing the church steeple.
"Oh my goodness! We have to climb the church?" Meist asked in surprise.
"Looks like it," Paul said. "Quickly, inside!"
While this was happening, HANK & PEGGY have strayed very far from the course, ending up at Boddy Mansion. Peggy boldly knocked on the door. A man in a tuxedo answered it.
"Yes?"
"We demand to have our next clue, Jeeves!" Peggy said without hesitation.
"Ah, you're two of the blokes with the Amazing Race, eh? Well, there's no clue here. You'll have to look for Colonel Mustard, who is in the Lounge, with a Knife."
"Yes, I know that! And the Lounge is in this house, so where's our clue?"
"No, madam, you're thinking of the wrong Lounge. The Lounge you're looking for is a bar downtown."
"Sure it is. All right, who put you up to this? Was it Orson? No, it was Mercedes! I knew that alien was up to no good!"
"Peggy, come on," Hank begged. "Maybe he's telling the truth. Maybe this time, you're wrong! Let's just go downtown, and get our clue, okay?" Hank managed to somehow pull his wife away from the altercation, but not before she said…
"We'll be back!"
While this was happening, Malcolm stood on his mark and threw his first knife. It hit the target, just wide of the bulls-eye. Seeing this, he adjusted himself. When he made his second throw, he was thrown off at the last second when the door opened and four other teams slipped in.
"DAMMIT!" Malcolm screamed. "Our team should totally get some time credit for that!" Upset, he sat down, while Rei prepared for her throw, and the other teams got their clues.
(VIOLET & MICHAEL are currently in seventh place.)
"I can do this, easy!" Michael said with confidence.
(VIOLET & KLAUS are currently in eighth place.)
"I think I can handle this," Violet Baudelaire said.
(ZACK & CODY are currently in ninth place.)
"I'll take care of this one," said Zack.
(MIKE & SULLEY are currently in tenth place.)
"Better let a creature with two eyes do this one, Mike!" said Sulley.
The racers doing the Roadblock got in line behind Rei. She concentrated on the task before her, focusing on the target. With a loud shriek, she let it fly, and it connected! The whole bar applauded her.
"That's the way!" Mako cheered. "Just one more!"
Rei gripped her knife firmly. Again, she concentrated, putting everything out of her mind except getting that second bulls-eye. Another shout, another toss, another bulls-eye!
"YES!" she exclaimed. Quickly, the girls grabbed the next clue from Max.
(MAKO & REI are currently in fifth place.)
While this was happening, ANTHONY & MERCEDES arrived at the church. They went inside and found Paul and Meist still looking for Reverend Green. Together, they searched. Meist eventually found him, and pointed the others in that direction.
(PAUL & MEIST are still in third place; ANTHONY & MERCEDES are still in fourth place.)
"Detour," Meist read. "Honey, do you think we should do High?"
"Sounds good to me."
"Mercedes, what do you think?" asked Anthony.
"High is clearly the faster way, I say we do that."
Paul & Meist got out of the church first, and made sure they were on to do High right after Orson & Roy. Anthony & Mercedes were out of there just in time to see the McFlys descend.
"Hey, you two," Paul said, "How's the weather up there?"
"Dry and partly stupid!" Marty shot back.
While Orson and Roy prepared for the climb, Marty ripped open the clue.
"Make your way to the next Pit Stop…"
Teams must now make their way across town to the sprawling Peacock Estate, home of Mrs. Peacock, the wealthiest citizen in Cluedoville. This 32-room mansion is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in here may be eliminated.
"Come on, honey! Let's try and get a cab!" Jennifer said.
As they left, Orson and Roy started their climb. Paul and Meist waited patiently.
"So, If we want to do High," Mercedes asked a race official, "we have to wait until both these two teams are done?"
"That's right," he answered.
"By that token, it could be faster if we did Low, don't you think, Anthony?"
"Sounds logical," he said. The hitchhikers scratched their name off the High waiting list and went to the manhole.
"Okay," said the guy who looked like he had been a plumber all his life, "if you guys are going down there, you're gonna want these," and he pointed to some decontamination suits. They quickly put them on and started to climb down the manhole.
"P.U.!" Anthony said. "Is that the foulest odor you've ever smelled or what?"
"Nah," said Mercedes. "You don't know what smells until you smell my dog's poop!"
"No thanks, I'll just take your word for it!"
Back at the Lounge, it was Michael's turn at the target. He didn't agonize over the task one bit. He took a knife in each hand, spun them around his fingers, and threw them at the same time. Both hit the bulls-eye.
"Cake," he said just above a whisper.
(VIOLET & MICHAEL are currently in sixth place.)
"Okay, where's this church?" asked Violet Parr.
"Maybe one of the locals knows," Michael said as they left.
Violet Baudelaire stepped up to the mark and took the first knife gingerly. She analyzed the target, prepared for her shot, and let it go. Her first throw missed wide to the left.
"Hmm," said Max. "I think you're overcompensating for your right-handed toss."
"Thanks," Violet said. She made adjustments and threw again. This time, she hit the bulls-eye.
"Yes!" said Klaus. "Best luck we've had so far."
Before Violet made her third throw, Max had an announcement. "Malcolm Wilkerson, your five minute waiting period is up. You may have another turn after Sulley here has his."
"What? But that will take forever! Why should we be punished because a bunch of teams all got here at the same time?"
"Kid, I don't make the rules, I just enforce them."
"You just doing this b…"
"Yes, I am just doing this. Now, you can either sit down and shut up, or I can throw you out of here!"
Just then, HANK & PEGGY finally showed up. They got their clue from Colonel Mustard.
"You see, Peggy? I told you that you misread the clue."
"I did not misread the clue, the writers simply miswrote it!"
(HANK & PEGGY are currently in last place.)
"(Sigh) It's a Roadblock. I'd better do this one," said Hank.
Hank got in line behind Malcolm, and waited for Violet to make her last throw. When she did throw, she sort of stepped into it a little bit. The knife stuck fast in the green bulls-eye. She jumped for joy.
(VIOLET & KLAUS are currently in seventh place.)
Klaus ripped open the clue. "Come on, let's go!"
While this was happening, MAKO & REI came within view of the church.
"Hey, Mako, I think you need to check this out!" Rei pointed to where Orson and Roy were climbing.
"Shoot, now I've seen everything," she answered.
The girls dashed inside the building and started to look for Reverend Green.
When this happened, Orson and Roy had reached the top of the church.
"Congratulations," said Brother Teal, the guy at the top handing out the clues. "Here's your next clue, don't open it until you're on the ground." He clipped the clue to Orson's side belt, and the two farm animals descended.
Meanwhile, in the sewer, Anthony was just about ready to give up hope on finding the clue in the filthy water. "We've been at this forever," he whined.
"Oh, we have not!" Mercedes said back. "It's only been seven minutes!"
"Even so, we've been looking for much too long. We probably could be finished if we had stuck with H…" He didn't finish that sentence. "There's the clue, I see it!"
"Huh? Where?" Mercedes looked around and saw it too. "Get it and let's get out of here!" Anthony didn't have to be told that twice.
At roughly the same time that the hitchhikers got out of the sewer, Orson and Roy had their feet on the ground and had ripped open their clue.
"…The Peacock estate…" Orson read.
"…Warning: the last team to check in may be eliminated," read Mercedes.
Over at the Peacock estate, Edward Nemo stood beside Mrs. Peacock, who stood beside a sign that read "Cluedoville". As they waited, MARTY & JENNIFER trudged up the ivory steps and firmly planted both feet on the mat.
Peacock smiled warmly. "Welcome to Cluedoville," she said.
"Thank you," Jennifer said, all out of breath.
"Marty and Jennifer," said Ed, pausing for dramatic effect, "you are team number one!"
(MARTY & JENNIFER 1ST PLACE.)
"Whoo-hoo!" they cheered. "First place, baby!"
Back at the church, VIOLET & MICHAEL had arrived, just as PAUL & MEIST were preparing to climb the steeple. They went inside and saw Mako & Rei searching the gathered.
"Wow," Violet said. "How long have you guys been looking?"
"Quite some time, now," Mako informed them.
"How hard is it to find a reverend?" Violet queried. "All you have to do is find a guy with a white collar…" She went to the front of the room and looked all the clergy in the face, "…like all these guys are wearing! Dammit!"
While this was going on, Zack was taking his turn at the knife target back at the Lounge. His first shot went into the bulls-eye easily. During his second shot, Hal sneezed 'Miss it!' in an attempt to throw him off. It didn't work, as the knife hit the green wood soundly.
(ZACK & CODY are currently in eighth place.)
"We have to walk?" Zack complained. "All the way to the church?"
"Hey, nobody said the race was going to be easy," Cody pointed out.
When the twins left, the others noticed that it was starting to get dark outside. Sulley was next, and he took all three knives in one hand. One by one, he threw them right into the target. The first two were bulls-eyes, but the third wasn't.
"Eh, I'm a little shaky today," he said humbly.
"It doesn't matter!" Mike said, "we got our clue!"
(MIKE & SULLEY are currently in ninth place.)
"Come on, if we hurry, we can overtake the twins!" The monsters burst out of the bar.
Malcolm took his knife with a sarcastic "Finally!" Learning from his errors, he buried the knife on his first shot. Then he took his second shot; sure that there were no more teams that could come in behind him and throw him off. His second shot made it, no problem. His dad jumped for joy, as they grabbed the next clue.
(HAL & MALCOLM are currently in tenth place.)
"Let's go, son!"
At long last, it is Hank's turn to shoot. He grabbed the first knife and threw it almost immediately. To everyone's surprise, he scored a bulls-eye!
"Shooting from the hip, are were?" asked Max.
"Just give me the next knife, so we can get out of here!"
Max handed Hank another knife, and again, he let it go right away. Once more, he hit the bulls-eye.
"Hoo-yah!" Peggy cheered. She snatched the clue from Max' hand and ripped it open.
(HANK & PEGGY are currently in last place.)
"Hurry up, Peg, we need to make up for lost time!"
At the church, PAUL & MEIST had reached the ground before anyone else had found Reverend Green. Paul unclipped the clue and ripped it open.
(PAUL & MEIST are currently in fourth place.)
"Make your way to the next Pit Stop, the Peacock Estate!" Paul read.
"Quick, I think it's this way!" said Meist.
The next thing we see is ORSON & ROY, pointing and saying "There it is, let's go!" Then they start running. Next we see ANTHONY & MERCEDES pointing and running too. We see both teams running to the Pit Stop, but not side-by-side. Then we see Ed at the Pit Stop pointing in the direction of the coming team. Next is a first-person shot of someone running up the steps to the mat. Then the camera spins and reveals which of those two teams beat the other.
"Orson and Roy, you're team number two!"
(ORSON & ROY 2ND PLACE.)
"Whoo-hoo!" Roy shouted. "Second Place!"
"Okay, could you guys step off the mat, please, there's another team coming."
The animals step aside to make room for the two hitchhikers.
"Anthony & Mercedes, you're team number three!"
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES 3RD PLACE.)
"Whew!" Mercedes said. "Man, do I have a lot of writing to do about this place!"
"You have no idea," Ed told her.
At the church, MAKO & REI and VIOLET & MICHAEL were still looking for Reverend Green when the Baudelaire orphans blew in the door.
"All right," Klaus said, "clearly none of you have found our next clue yet. So, can you tell me which of these guys you've searched?"
Rei pointed to a large group of clergy, saying that they had already asked those guys.
"Okay," Klaus said, "that means he has to be somewhere in this general area."
One of the clergy snickered slightly. Klaus singled him out. "Are you Reverend Green?"
"Aw, what gave me away?" Chuckling, he handed the three teams the next clue.
"Detour," Klaus read, "High or Low? What do you think, sis?"
"I ain't afraid of no heights!" she answered.
"I say we do High," Michael told his partner.
"Hmm," Mako thought. "If they're both doing High, it will be a week and a half before we get our chance."
"So, we're doing Low?" Rei asked.
"Yeah,"
As the girls raced outside, they ran into MIKE & SULLEY, who had overtaken the unbelievably slow Martin twins.
"Stop right there, you alien scum!" Mako screamed when she saw them.
"Guys, it's us!" Mike insisted.
Mako blushed from embarrassment. "Sorry, knee-jerk reaction."
"It's okay," Sulley assured her.
The monsters went into the church while the anime girls went into the sewer. Meanwhile, VIOLET & KLAUS prepared for the harrowing climb. VIOLET & MICHAEL waited on the ground.
"Okay, Klaus, we can do this. Just don't look down!" Violet found a sure footing on the foundation of the church and started to climb.
In the midst of all this, a certain married couple was climbing the stairs to Peacock Estate…
"Paul & Meist, team number four."
(PAUL & MEIST 4TH PLACE.)
"Yes!" Paul said as he pumped his arm. "This is how we win the race! We're not going to exhaust ourselves by trying to come in first every leg. We conserve our energy by staying out of the bottom!"
After that, ZACK & CODY finally navigated their way to the church. It was dark by now, and they had to have flashlights to see where they were going.
"Come on!" Zack shouted. "We already let those monsters get by us, we can't afford to fall any further!"
They ducked inside and started to look for Reverend Green. They barely (if at all) noticed the monsters looking as well.
Over in the sewer, things were not going well for MAKO & REI.
"Are you sure we looked over there?" Mako asked.
"I told you a thousand times, I already checked there!" Rei answered.
"How about over there? I think I see something yellow over there!"
Rei want to examine what it was.
"Is it the next clue?"
"Nope, it's a diaper!"
"Ewwwwww! Why would there be a diaper on the race course?"
"Well, this is a sewer."
"(sigh) Million dollars, million dollars, million dollars."
While this was going on, VIOLET & KLAUS made it to the top of the steeple.
"Here's your next clue, don't open it until you get down," Brother Teal reminded them. The orphans bounced down the way mountain climbers do.
(VIOLET & KLAUS are currently in fifth place.)
Rip. "Make your way to the PIT STOP! Let's go!"
As they left, VIOLET & MICHAEL started to hitch up to the harness. At the same time, HAL & MALCOLM arrived from the Lounge.
"Wow," Malcolm said, "Seven eyes looking for one guy, and they still haven't found him yet!"
"Son, there's no need to pick on them," Hal chided, "although it's amazing that green one can see anything."
Insulted, Mike charged the homely man, only to have Sulley hold him back. "Let me at 'im, let me at 'im!"
"Mike, you can get him back by winning the race!" said the larger beast.
While this altercation took place, Cody was narrowing down the field.
"Are you Reverend Green?" he asked one of them.
"I am. Here's your next clue."
"Thanks. Hey, guys, it's this one!"
While the other teams got their clues, the twins opened theirs.
"I say we do High," suggested Zack.
"What do you think, big guy? High?" asked Mike.
"Sure, we can scale that, no problem."
"What do you say, Dad? High or Low?" asked Malcolm.
"I don't like heights, so let's do Low."
"Okay."
The twins and the monsters got in line. The Wilkersons trudged to the sewers.
Meanwhile, the Baudelaire orphans made it to the top of the stairs of the Peacock estate.
"Violet & Klaus, team number five."
(VIOLET & KLAUS 5TH PLACE.)
"Awesome!" Violet said. "We are as good as in!"
Back in the sewer, Mako made a little discovery.
"Hey, I've got it! The next clue!"
"Finally," Rei said with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.
They ran into the Wilkerson boys as they climbed out of the sewer.
(MAKO & REI are currently in sixth place.)
"Pit stop! At last!"
At the church, VIOLET & MICHAEL finished their climb, and were ready to open their clue.
(VIOLET & MICHAEL are currently in seventh place.)
"Warning: the last team to check in may be eliminated! Oh, jeez, that can't be us! Let's go!"
While ZACK & CODY were preparing for the climb, HANK & PEGGY finally got to the church. Inside, they started to look for the reverend. Peggy asked the first person she saw.
"Are you Reverend Green?"
"Yes, and here's your next clue!"
"Hank, stop asking around, I've got the next clue!"
"Well, hurry up! Open it!"
"Hmm, it's a Detour. Ah, High is the faster route, so that's what we'll do!"
"What?" Hank examined the clue. "We're going to climb a church? That's got to be blasphemous, somehow!"
"Hank, do you want that million dollars or not?"
"(sigh) Fine."
The Hills stepped outside the church and saw that there was a waiting list for the climb.
"Hmm," Hank thought. "If we did Low, we could finish ahead of the other teams waiting in line."
"Hank, you poor stupid man!" Peggy chided. "That's what they want you to think! As soon as you go down that manhole, all the other teams will be ahead of us!"
"But Peggy, all the other teams are already ahead of us!"
"And whose fault is that, huh Hank?"
"It's your fault! You misread the first clue, and because of that, we're in last place!"
"Oh, quit your bellyaching! Teams have gone from last to first in this thing!"
"(sigh) I have never needed a beer so badly."
Over at the Peacock estate, two teams decided it would be funny to check in at the same time.
"Rei and Mako, Violet and Michael, you're teams number six and seven!"
(MAKO & REI 6TH PLACE; VIOLET & MICHAEL 7TH PLACE.)
"All right, we're still in this thing!" Mako exulted.
"I'm just glad we can rest now," Violet breathed.
Back at the church, ZACK & CODY had a little trouble climbing the steeple.
"Ahhh!" Cody whimpered, "high, high, very high!"
"That's the point," Zack explained. "Come on, focus on the top, and you won't get scared!"
"All right, focus. Chill. I can do this." And Cody continued to climb.
In the sewer, it wasn't much better for HAL & MALCOLM.
"God, it smells like our bathroom down here!" Malcolm complained.
"Quit whining and help me look, Malcolm!" Hal insisted.
Malcolm held his breath and went back to the search.
At the church, ZACK & CODY managed to reach the steeple. Brother Teal clipped the clue to Zack's belt and they descended.
(ZACK & CODY are currently in eighth place.)
"All right, Pit stop! Hurry, let's go!"
When they had left, MIKE & SULLEY were fitted for their harnesses, but the monsters shoved them away.
"We've got this under control," Mike insisted. Both of them grabbed the support beams and climbed the steeple like it was a tree.
Meanwhile, Hal had stumbled in the sewage and fell in.
"Oh, gross! Wait, what's that? A clue?" He grabbed it. "It is a clue! Malcolm, I've got the clue!"
Very rapidly, the man and his son got out of their suits, and out of the sewer.
(HAL & MALCOLM are currently in ninth place.)
"Yes! Pit Stop!"
At the church, the monsters climbed that church steeple faster than anyone expected them to. Mike grabbed the clue with his teeth, and then they both jumped without the aid of a safety rope. The ground shook when Sulley landed.
(MIKE & SULLEY are currently in tenth place.)
"Come on, you big hairy guy, we don't want to be last!"
Over at Peacock estate, two very short visitors came.
"Zack and Cody, team number eight!"
(ZACK & CODY 8TH PLACE.)
"All right!" The twins did their secret handshake.
Just behind them, Malcolm and Hal checked in, and prepared for the worst.
"Hal and Malcolm, you are team number nine!"
(HAL & MALCOLM 9TH PLACE.)
"Okay, we'll take it," Malcolm said. "At least we'll get to see more of Dreamland now."
While travelling to the Pit Stop, MIKE & SULLEY got a little bit lost.
"Is this Maple or Elm?"
"I don't know, I've never been here!"
"None of us have been here!"
"Let's just get a cab, okay?"
"Great idea! Too bad none of these cabs will fit me!"
"Okay, don't panic, I've got it!"
"What?"
"Hey lady!" Mike called, waving at some strange woman. When she saw the green one-eyed creature, she was taken aback.
"Can I help you?" she asked.
"Yeah, we need to get to Peacock Estate, like, really fast, we're in a race!"
"Sure, I can show you the way. Follow me!"
Mike and Sulley dutifully followed the stranger through the streets, across the grass, and up the stairs to the mat. They cringed and waited for Ed to give them the news.
"Mike and Sulley," he said, "you are team number ten!"
(MIKE & SULLEY 10TH PLACE.)
"And you're still in the Amazing Race!" he finished.
"Awesome! I get to be on TV even longer! Ow!"
The gathered laughed at Mike's little victory dance.
Sad music played in the background as the Hills calmly walked up the stairs.
"Hank and Peggy, you're the last team to arrive."
(HANK & PEGGY LAST PLACE.)
"I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the race."
"Who cares?" Peggy said. "I don't want your million dollars, not if I have to endure a character assassination to get it!"
"Well, this experience wasn't a total waste of time," Hank told the camera. "I've learned never to let my wife talk me into going on a reality show ever again. She means well, but once she gets an idea, she sticks with it, even if it sounds asinine."
"I used to think the Amazing Race was different from all these other sleazy reality shows," Peggy confessed. "Now, I know the truth. All reality shows are evil. Now, I'm not saying it's Hank's fault we were eliminated, even though he did mislead me into reading that clue wrong, but, oh, shut the camera off!"
ON THE NEXT AMAZING RACE: DREAMLAND…
Teams fly to Wild City, where the entire citizenry is of the animal kingdom.
(A/N: Now, I have a question for everyone who was rooting for a certain team, but I won't say whom: would you be okay if your team got eliminated? Answer me in your reviews, and remember your team is on notice, so a wrong answer could get them eliminated!)