Before the race continued, Ed was seen strolling through the hallways of a posh hotel.
"This is the Big Big Mall," he said, "a shopping center so huge, it's officially a city. It's six miles long, four and a half miles wide, and seven stories tall. And amid the fifth and sixth floors lies the Interior Hotel, were several tourists stay nightly. This unique 'building-within-a-building' was the third Pit Stop in the Amazing Race.
"Teams checked in here at the end of the last leg for a mandatory rest period. This allowed teams time to eat, sleep, and mingle with the other teams. Will Anthony and Mercedes be able hold their first place position? Will Violet & Michael recover from a devastating Yield and move out of last place? And will Mako & Rei make good on their promise to avenge their fallen comrades?
"Anthony & Mercedes, who were first to arrive at 9:51 AM, will depart at 9:51 PM."
The fluorescent lights of the mall were almost completely dark. Most of the stores were closed now, and the mood of the building had to reflect that. Of course, there was just enough light to see by. Anthony and Mercedes were dressed in new attire, waiting for the moment to open their next clue. When the…wait, do I even have to say that they opened their clue? Yeah, I didn't think so.
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are first to depart.)
"Travel by motorized chariot to the Big Big Airport…"
Teams must now take these motorized chariots down these wheelchair ramps to the third floor, where they will find the Big Big Mall Airport. Once there, they must book passage on a commercial flight to the Eastern Sea, a world that is ninety-two percent water. They will land on this aircraft carrier, where they must search the deck for the next clue.
"You will have 17 dollars for this leg of the race," Mercedes read.
"Well, at least we have plenty of money left over from other legs," Anthony said.
The hitchhikers quickly located the chariots, hopped on, and tried to figure out how to work the dang things.
"Um, I think this button makes it go forward," Anthony said, "or is it this one?"
"Just try one, and we'll see what it does," Mercedes offered.
"Okay." Anthony pressed one, and the chariot jerked forward. "Whoa!"
"Hey, wait for me!"
(VIOLET & KLAUS are second to depart.)
"Once you land, search the flight deck for the next clue," Klaus read.
"Come on, brother. If we hurry, maybe we can catch up to the hitchhikers!"
The orphans rode their chariots like experts. But the first place team had enough of a lead that they got to the airport first.
"Hmm. It looks like it's closed," said Mercedes.
The sign nearby told the awful truth: HOURS OF OPERATION, 6 AM to 8 PM.
"At least we can catch up on some lost sleep," Anthony said.
(ORSON & ROY are third to depart.)
"Wow, ninety-two percent water," Roy noted. "I just hope we don't have to swim!"
"We very well might have to!" Orson observed.
As they managed their chariots, the Baudelaire orphans arrived at the airport.
"Hey, it looks like we caught up after all!" Violet said.
"Oh, hey guys," Anthony said half asleep.
"So, is the airport closed?" she asked.
"No, we're just tired of racing, so we stopped here for no reason," said Mercedes. "Here's your sign!"
"Oh, that's real clever. Think that up all by yourself, did you? That's funny!"
"All right, all right, truce?"
"Truce."
Violet and Klaus settled in.
(MAKO & REI are fourth to depart.)
"…Alert: Time Clock hidden on this leg." Rei read.
"I hope Violet and Michael find it," Mako said. "They need it more than we do!"
(FYI: This is the first of only two legs on which a Time Clock is hidden. The first team to find it can trade it in at any Pit Stop for an hour's worth of time credit. Each team can only use one Time Clock on the race, so they need to decide for themselves the best time to use it. However, if a team is last to check in at any Pit Stop Elimination or not while they still have the Time Clock, they must forfeit it. The Time Clock is my own invention, and is exclusive to this Race.)
Back on the race, ORSON & ROY had just arrived at the airport.
"Looks like a stopper to me, Ors," said Roy.
"Yes, the airport is closed and no team can continue until it opens, allowing other teams to catch up."
"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Violet told him.
"Hey!" Roy exclaimed. "Nobody insults Orson Pig! That's my job!"
(MARTY & JENNIFER are fifth to depart.)
(PAUL & MEIST are sixth to depart.)
"Come on, honey!" Marty said. "If we hurry we can catch an earlier flight and leave the supers behind."
"All right, but I don't know if we should just abandon them like that!"
"Honey, we're not abandoning them. We're beating them!"
"Oh, okay."
"What? Ninety-two percent water?" Meist asked. "I don't like the sound of that!"
"We'll probably just be on boats most of the time," Paul speculated.
"That's what I'm afraid of."
The married couples each hopped on chariots and took off.
About this time, Mako & Rei had arrived at the airport, and saw three other teams waiting for it to open. Once they settled in, Rei had a question.
"So, how are we going to decide who'll get their ticket first?"
"Shouldn't we just do it by the order in which we got here?" Orson said. "That's how they've done it in all the other races."
"Sounds good to me," Mercedes said.
"Okay, whatever," the other racers said. They were still so tired.
(MIKE & SULLEY are seventh to depart.)
"Once you land, search the flight deck for your next clue." Sulley read.
"Can we last long in water?" Mike asked.
"Only one way to find out!"
Just around then, two more teams pulled their chariots up the airport entrance.
"Okay, one, two, three, four, five teams, plus us makes six," Marty counted. "Which two are missing?"
"The monsters and the supers," someone said.
"Okay."
(VIOLET & MICHAEL are last to depart.)
"…Alert: Time Clock hidden on this leg!" Violet read excitedly. "Ooh, we need that so bad!"
"Hurry, we might still be in this thing!" Michael cheered.
Over at the airport, Mike & Sulley had just arrived.
"Oh, wow, looks like we caught up!" Mike said.
"Yeah," said Mako, "only Violet and Michael remain unaccounted for."
Speaking of whom, Violet had no trouble handling her chariot. Michael, on the other hand… Violet caught up with him.
"What's going on?"
"I can't get it to stop!" he yelled.
"Press the red button!"
"I already did!"
"Hmm, you know what I think?"
"What?"
"I think you're screwed."
"Gee, you think?"
Back at the airport, small talk was being exchanged. Nobody seemed to want to move. That is, until they heard someone screaming.
"LOOK OUT! RUNAWAY CHARIOT!"
The racers scrambled to save their own skin. An unmanned chariot charged right at them at top speed. It crashed into a wall and fell into a heap of twisted metal.
Out of the darkness came Michael. Not far behind him was Violet, safely riding her chariot.
"Oh, jeez, Mike, I think you maybe dinged it up a little," she said.
"Relax, babe, it's a rental."
All the teams were upset that they all caught up with each other. Some were more upset about it than others were, but all were upset. What made the matter worse was that the airport wasn't due to open for another eight hours yet.
While most of the other racers slept, Mercedes Prefect was still awake. She read in the clue that the Eastern Sea was ninety-two percent water. Being rather unfamiliar with water, she wanted to know what she was getting into. Luckily, she remembered to pack her copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
The Guide had this to say about water:
"Water, being in its purest form two atoms of hydrogen covalently bonded to one oxygen atom, is one tricky compound. It is the only known substance in the galaxy that increases in volume when it is frozen. Most of the former planet Earth was covered in water, which comprised about seventy percent of its surface area. Earth was the only planet known to have such an abundance of water. Since its destruction at the hand of the Vogons, water has become scarcer, and more valuable."
"Well, that was helpful," Mercedes thought to herself.
After that, the racers sat waiting, waiting, waiting, for six o'clock. But six o'clock never came, so they just sat there. Forever.
Just seeing if you were paying attention!
Yes, six o'clock did come, just like it always does, right after 5:59. The racers filed in and got in line according to their arrival at the airport. Rather than build up your hopes and then dash them by listing every team and what flight they got on, I'll just tell you right here that all sixteen racers got on the same flight.
At one point during the flight, the racers looked out and saw the Eastern Sea. Like the clue said, there was a whole lot of water there. At about 7:20 AM, the plane landed on the deck of the aircraft carrier Birdhouse. As soon as the stairs were brought out, teams dashed off the plane and down the flight deck.
Even though they all saw the clue box on the deck from the plane, only one team could get there first. That team was ORSON & ROY. Excitedly, Roy ripped open the clue.
"Take the marked taxi…"
Teams must now take one of the marked water taxis to an unspecified location on the Eastern Sea. The only distinguishing feature of the location is this buoy we've placed there, on which teams can find the next clue.
While Orson and Roy dashed down the flight deck and practically leapt onto the water taxi, VIOLET & MICHAEL arrived at the clue second.
"Once there, you can find your next clue on the buoy," Michael read. "Quickly, Violet! We can't afford to lose any more time!"
As soon as the supers were on a taxi and sailing to the unspecified spot, VIOLET & KLAUS pulled the third clue from the box.
"Hmm, they don't give us much information, do they?" Violet noted. The orphans hopped onto one of the remaining taxis.
MIKE & SULLEY got their clue next.
"Come on, big guy!" Mike goaded, "let's go!"
PAUL & MEIST got their clue fifth overall.
"Okay, I was fine with the aircraft carrier," said Meist, "but I'm pretty sure the water taxi will give me seasickness!"
"You'll be fine, dear, you've got me with you, right?"
ANTHONY & MERCEDES were sixth.
"Come on, quickly!" Anthony said. "We wouldn't want to be one of those teams that goes from first to last, right?"
MARTY & JENNIFER got there seventh.
"Hmm, only two taxis left," said Jen. "We must be scraping the bottom of the barrel. Hurry!"
MAKO & REI were sadly last.
"I can tell you right now," Rei whispered, "You're doing whatever the Roadblock is. You know that water is just not my thing."
"I know, let's hurry! We're in last place!"
Further up the way, Mike and Sulley's taxi came within sight of Violet & Klaus's.
"Hey, captain, do you think you can pass that boat up ahead?" asked Sulley.
"I can try," he answered. He put the boat on full throttle.
But the Baudelaire orphans saw the monsters making a rally to try and pass them.
"Listen," Violet told her captain, "whatever you do, don't let that boat pass us!"
"No problem!" He put his taxi on full throttle as well. He ended up so far ahead that Mike & Sulley couldn't catch him.
Anyway, the taxi carrying ORSON & ROY got to the buoy first (surprise!). Roy ripped the clue from the buoy and opened it.
(ORSON & ROY are currently in first place.)
"Roadblock," he read. "Who's up for a little dip?"
Ed was then seen standing on the buoy, hanging on for dear life.
"A Roadblock is a task that only one person can perform, and no person can perform more than six. In this Roadblock, that person will put on the scuba gear found in their taxis and dive to the sea floor. Once there, they will spot this clam. They must tap the special code given to them by the driver to get the clam to open up. Inside the clam, teams will find the next clue."
"Orson, you do this one," Roy said. "I'm only allowed to do four more of these, so we need to make sure they're the kind only I can do."
"That's the smartest thing I've heard out of you the entire race!" Orson noted.
Orson got on his gear as quickly as he could. With his mouthpiece in place, he dived backward over the side of the boat. Once down there, he saw a plethora of interesting creatures. He even said hi to several of them. But he was looking for one thing only, and he found it. It was a clam that had been painted yellow and red. Race colors.
Remembering the code, he went tap, tap-tap, tap, pause, tap-tap, tap, tap-tap, tap, pause, tap, tap-tap, tap-tap, tap. The clam opened its large mouth, and Orson saw the clue inside. He grabbed one just a few seconds before the clam clamed up again.
(For those of you trying to figure out what the code is, it's my initials in Morse code.)
Orson resurfaced and handed the clue to Roy. Roy opened it while Orson climbed back into the boat.
This clue was different, it had only four words: "Locate the Blue Emerald."
Teams must now, well, they have to locate the Blue Emerald, like the clue said! But what teams don't know is that the Blue Emerald is the name of a pirate ship, and that this ship is where the next clue is located.
"Locate the Blue Emerald?" Orson asked. "Does it say anything else?"
"No, just to locate the Blue Emerald. Hey, captain, do you know where the Blue Emerald is?"
"Not at the moment, but I can find her!"
"Her?" the animals asked.
"Yeah, the Blue Emerald is a piracy ship. It's got blue sails, so it shouldn't be to difficult to spot." The sailor pulled out a telescope and scanned the horizon. "Ship's ahoy! Blue Emerald off the port stern!" He turned the boat around and prepared to sail.
"Did he just say 'piracy ship'? As in, 'Arr, matey, walk the plank, ye scurvy knaves'?" Orson asked.
"Yeah, I think he did," Roy answered.
As they departed, VIOLET & MICHAEL arrived at the dive site. Michael ripped the clue from the buoy.
(VIOLET & MICHAEL are currently in second place.)
"Who's up for a little dip?" Michael read. "You'd better do this one, Vi."
"Okay," Violet said.
As soon as she got in her gear, Violet dived in face first. She found the clam rather quickly, tapped out the code, and got the clue. She surfaced in a few minutes.
"Hey, can you help us find the Blue Emerald?" Michael asked when he read the clue.
The captain found it quickly, and off they went.
While both the teams ahead of them were still sailing to the Blue Emerald, VIOLET & KLAUS made it to the dive site.
(VIOLET & KLAUS are currently in third place.)
"It's a Roadblock," Violet read. "Who's up for a little dip? Um, you can do this one if you want, brother,"
"Go ahead, sis," Klaus answered.
Unlike the Parr girl, Violet Baudelaire dived in feet first. She sank like a rock, but she found the clam. She tapped out the code, retrieved the clue, and surfaced. Klaus opened it while she got back in the boat.
"What's the Blue Emerald?" he asked nobody in particular.
"That would be a piracy ship, captained by one Polly Moore," said the captain.
"Can you take us there?" Violet asked.
"I would, but I have to find it first, and I seem to have misplaced my telescope."
"Here, take mine," Klaus offered. He had that spyglass with him the whole time.
"Oh, thank you, son, uh, you won't be needing it back, will you?"
"Actually, it's a family heirloom, so I can't let you keep it.
"I was afraid of that. No matter, I'll find that ship for you, no problem."
Ahead of them, the taxi carrying the supers was about to pass the one with the barnyard animals. Roy noticed this and hatched a plan. He grabbed the first reflective surface he could find (a fish bucket) and located the sun. Then he reflected the light from the sun into the eyes of their sea captain. Blinded, he stopped the boat just long enough for him to recover. Then he sped up and tried to catch them, but it was no use, for they were long gone.
"Roy, you really shouldn't have done that," Orson said. "When we get to the Pit Stop, you are going to apologize to them."
"Okay, mommy," Roy shot back.
While this was happening, Mike was opening the clue from the buoy.
(MIKE & SULLEY are currently in fourth place.)
"It's a Roadblock," he read. "Let me to this one, Sulley!"
"Okay, you seem to be more adapted to water anyway."
Mike donned the self-contained underwater breathing apparatus and did a cannonball into the water. Unlike the others, it was a full seven minutes before he resurfaced with the clue.
"What took you so long?" Sulley asked.
"I think I found Nemo," Mike told him.
Sulley opened the clue and inquired about the Blue Emerald. The captain spotted it and they gave chase after two teams.
I said two teams, because one team wasn't sailing to the Blue Emerald anymore. ORSON & ROY had pulled themselves onto the bridge of the blue-sailed pirate ship.
"Ahoy, barnyard critters," said a female who was dressed in casual clothing. She didn't look at all like a stereotypical pirate, and yet she introduced herself as Captain Polly Moore.
"Hello," Orson said nervously. "Um, we're looking for a clue?"
"Ah, yes, you'll find it below deck, in the cargo hold."
They quickly located the stairs and descended them. Once there, they saw a bounty of foodstuffs, gold, and eight yellow envelopes. Knowing those to be the clues, Orson rushed over and ripped one of them open.
(ORSON & ROY are still in first place.)
"Another Detour," Orson read. "This time it's Speedboat or Rowboat."
After he read it, there was a shot of Ed strolling the bridge of the Blue Emerald.
"A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with it's own pros and cons. In this Detour, teams have to choose between Speedboat and Rowboat.
"In Speedboat, teams will board one of these speedboats, and travel a marked course all the way to this boat, the ESS Whitewash. Once there, Captain Mark Gonzalez will give them the next clue. This task will have our teams moving faster, and it's not physical, but the course they have to take is quite long, and could take a while.
"In Rowboat, teams will get into one of these canoes, and paddle themselves to the very same boat, only this time, they'll take a direct route. This task is slower, and physically demanding, but teams with strong muscles can finish it quickly."
"What do you think, Roy?" Orson asked.
"I don't think I can handle the rowing. Let's do Speedboat."
They dashed out of the cargo hold as fast as they could manage. Polly instructed them that the speedboats were just to the stern, pointing away from what was clearly the Whitewash. Orson and Roy boarded one, and they were off.
As soon as they were gone, one of the sailors came up to Capt. Moore.
"Now, captain? Can we launch it now?"
"Not yet, Mister Foot. We need all eight teams in position first. Then we carry out our plan."
At this point, PAUL & MEIST had arrived at the buoy. Paul took the clue and read it.
(PAUL & MEIST are currently in fifth place.)
"I think you ought to do this one, honey," he told Meist. She said okay. She put on the gear and dived in with a swan dive.
While Meist was down there, she saw a mermaid swim by. Under other circumstances, she might have stopped and maybe tried to have a conversation with her. But she was on a mission. She politely waved hello and went about looking for that clam. She found it and tapped on it the way she had been instructed. When the clam opened up, she took one of the remaining clues. She resurfaced not much later.
"Okay, what in the world is a Blue Emerald?" Paul asked when he read the clue.
"It's a pirate ship," said the captain.
"Pirates?" Meist asked loudly. "I thought this was a nice peaceful kind of sea, with cute little fishes, and mermaids, and, uh, a distinct absence of criminals!"
The captain scoffed. "What do you think this is, a dream world?"
"Well, it is called Dreamland!"
"Trust me, when you spend as much time here as I have, you learn that not all dreams are good dreams. A lot of them are, just not all of them."
"Okay," she said nervously.
Speaking of pirates, the Blue Emerald was about to be boarded by two superheroes. VIOLET & MICHAEL were directed to the cargo hold, where they got the next clue.
(VIOLET & MICHAEL are still in second place.)
"Hey, Mike, think you can row a canoe?" Violet asked.
"I don't think so. Better do Speedboat."
They climbed up onto the bridge, and from there onto one of the marked speedsters. When they departed, Mr. Foot asked again.
"Now, captain?"
"No, I told you, we need to wait for all eight teams. Then we can launch the missile!"
"Ooh! I can't wait!" he said gyrating.
At this point, ANTHONY & MERCEDES arrived at the dive site.
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are currently in sixth place.)
"Let me do this one, Anthony. I want to see what water is really like firsthand."
"Are you sure, Mercedes?"
"Yes, I'm sure."
Mercedes found the gear to be much heavier than anything she had ever worn in her life. Inasmuch, she found it was easier to fall into the water face first than to actually dive in. Once underwater, she found the water to be rather nice. She wondered why she had to wear the mouthpiece, and took it out. She resurfaced quickly, gasping for air.
"Okay," she said, "apparently, I can't breathe water."
"That's what the scuba gear is for!" the captain shouted, a little irritated. "Jeez, what are you, from another planet, or something?"
"Yes, I am!" she yelled back.
"Boy, you must feel like a complete jackass, hmm?" said Anthony.
Mercedes put her mouthpiece back in place and dived again. This time, she located the clam and got the clue before coming back up.
Anthony opened the clue and inquired about the Blue Emerald. The captain told them what it was, and they were directed to it.
Later, VIOLET & KLAUS pulled themselves onto the deck of the Blue Emerald. They found the clues in the cargo hold.
(VIOLET & KLAUS are currently in third place.)
"I say we do Rowboat," Klaus said, "it's shorter."
They climbed down the rope ladder into the canoe and started to paddle away.
"Now, captain?" asked Mr. Foot.
"For the last time, no! Not until all eight of the teams are in place!"
At this point, one of Captain Moore's pirates was getting annoyed. "Captain, permission to question the plan?"
"Granted, what is it?"
"Ma'am, am I not mistaken in thinking that the primary goal of the plan is not to slay the innocent racers, but to trigger action from our enemy?"
"That is correct,"
"Then why must we wait for all eight teams to pass by our deck? Will he not act should just six lives be in danger?"
"Hmm. You may have a point there, sailor."
At this, Mr. Foot got quite excited. "Launch the missile now, captain?"
"Okay, go ahead. The sooner we do this, the better, I guess."
He hustled over to the ship's radio and cleared his throat. When he spoke into it, his voice was drastically different.
"Calling Carrier Bravo Hotel, come in Bravo Hotel, this is Admiral Gray."
"Carrier reporting, Gray, awaiting orders, sir."
"This is Gray imputing launch code Seven Golf Five Romeo Two."
"Launch code accepted, Exocet Missile armed. Enter coordinates."
"Target is at thirteen south of Cove by way of seventeen west, heading northeast at 50 knots, confirm target."
"Target confirmed, fire when ready."
Mr. Foot smiled his biggest smile. "Launch it!"
While "Admiral Gray" was making the launch request, MARTY & JENNIFER arrived at the dive site.
(MARTY & JENNIFER are currently in seventh place.)
"I'll do this one, honey," said Jennifer. She dived in feet first. She located the clam and got the clue. She resurfaced quickly.
"Okay, cabbie, wherever this Blue Emerald thing is, take us there!" said Marty.
Not long after they left, MAKO & REI arrived at the buoy.
"Oh, great, there's only one clue left!" Rei observed. "That means were in last place."
(MAKO & REI are currently in last place.)
"I just said that!"
(Sorry.)
"Roadblock," Rei read. "You're doing this one, Mako."
Mako dove in face first. She quickly found the clam, and the next clue.
"The Blue Emerald?" Rei asked. "Sir, can you take us to, um, wherever this is?"
"Okay."
As soon as they started their journey to the pirate ship, a muted explosion was heard from the direction of the carrier they had just left.
"Mako!" Rei shouted. "Have some class, woman!"
"That wasn't me!" she insisted.
"Well, it sure as hell wasn't me!"
"Whatever, let's just go!"
Back on the Blue Emerald, Captain Moore was looking through her telescope at the missile launched from the carrier.
"Yes! All is going according to plan!" she cheered exuberantly.
About this time, MIKE & SULLEY were pulling themselves onto the bridge of the blue-sailed galleon. Polly paid them almost no heed, but waved them to the cargo hold. The monsters were curious as to why she was so excited, but they decided getting their clue was much more important.
(MIKE & SULLEY are currently in fourth place.)
"I think we can handle a canoe, eh, Mikey?" Sulley asked.
"I know you can," he answered.
They climbed out of the cargo area, onto the bridge, down the rope ladder and into the canoe. When Mike sat down, he jumped right up again, screaming.
"What?" Sulley asked.
"I think I sat on a rock!" Mike picked up the item he sat on. It wasn't a rock, but something round and orange. On further inspection, they saw it was a clock, with its hands set to the one o'clock position.
"Mike, that's the Time Clock!" Sulley exclaimed. "That's worth an hour of time credit!"
"All right! Now, let's get rowing!"
While they were rowing, the lookout on the ESS Whitewash noticed something.
"Captain, I think you need to come here and see this!"
Captain Mark Gonzalez rushed out onto the deck and took the spyglass. He saw it too; a large Exocet Missile threatening to wipe out a few teams from the race.
"What in the hell is going on?" he wondered out loud. "The carrier isn't supposed to be firing test shots! Mr. Six, call up the carrier, tell them it's a mistake."
"Aye, captain." The dark-skinned first mate got on the radio. "Calling Carrier Bravo Hotel, come in Bravo Hotel, this is the Whitewash."
"Go ahead, White,"
"Carrier, your missile is targeting civilian craft, disengage your weapon."
"Negative, White, we're operating under orders from an Admiral Gray."
Mr. Six looked worried. "Um, sir, they won't stand down, they say they're following orders from an Admiral Gray."
"What?" the captain asked. "Gimme the radio! Carrier Bravo Hotel, Admiral Gray has been dead for three years, repeat, dead for three years! Your missile is targeting civilian craft, abort, abort, abort!"
"We'd love to, cap'n, but that sucker's on its own now. You're going to have to intercept it yourself. Carrier out."
"Wait," Mr. Six asked, "If Gray is dead, how did the carrier get orders from him."
"Mister Foot," Mark told him. "He can impersonate anyone's voice. He must have given the order. Captain Moore is behind this. How she got the launch code, I may never know, but she did, and now she's threatening to kill innocent people."
"So? We have that Tomahawk missile on board, we could use that."
"No. That's what she wants us to do! Once we use that missile, we won't be able to recover it. That's the only reason she's threatening the racers, to get us to play our trump card."
"So what do we do, captain?"
"Polly borrowed a missile from another ship. That's what we have to do! Get me the Red Light on the radio."
"Aye, captain! Calling battleship Romeo Lima, state your position, this is the Whitewash."
"This is Red, White, we're four north of the Cove, over."
"Red, we need you to intercept a missile aiming at civilian craft."
"Active RADAR guidance systems operative, Tomahawk Missile armed. Target coordinates?"
"It's at thirteen south of the Cove by about seven east, heading northwest at about 80 knots."
"Target locked on. Fire when ready."
Mr. Six wasted no time. "Launch it."
While this dramatic scene took place on board the Whitewash, Roy Rooster caught a glimpse of something.
"Hey, Orson, does that look like a missile to you?"
"Hmm. You know, it kinda does."
"And does it look like it's coming at us?"
"Yes, I think it is."
"That's what I was afraid of. HELP! Missile coming at us! We have confirmation of a massive explosive about to blow us to bits! Oh, heeeeeeeelp!"
"ROY! Stop acting like Wade for a second and focus! We'll be fine! Look, that missile is nothing to worry about!"
"It's not?"
"No! Heck that's nothing compared to the other missile heading for us. That one's much bigger, that's the kind of missile you should be worried about." Suddenly, Orson realized what he had said. They both started to panic. But then, the two missiles collided in midair, causing both to explode.
BOOM!
Orson and Roy threw themselves down onto the deck of their craft. At that moment, they both understood what it meant to "hit the deck". When they looked up, they saw that they were still alive, and that their boat had been undamaged. If fact, nothing on the sea had been disturbed. There was a bunch of falling debris in an isolated area, but other than that, nothing!
"Hey, you think maybe we should get back to racing now?" Orson told Roy.
"Yes, let's." They quickly finished the Speedboat course, and climbed aboard the Whitewash.
"Welcome, racers," said a medium skinned sailor who helped them aboard. "I am Captain Mark Gonzalez. Sorry about that little explosion, but, you know, we can't have our racers die on us, right? Now, I have your next clue right here."
"Thank you," said Orson as he tore open the envelope.
(ORSON & ROY are still in first place.)
"Dive into the sea and swim to the next Pit Stop…"
Teams must now change into their swimsuits (if necessary) and swim 75 meters to this island. This star shaped island represents the eight percent of the sea that isn't water. Since it's the only landmass for several miles, it's called the Lone Star Cove, and it's the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in here may be eliminated.
Orson and Roy didn't have swimsuits, or any other clothes for that matter. They simply left their luggage on board (Mark said he'd take care of it for them) and jumped into the sea. They started swimming with all their might, until they reached the shore. Then they ran up to the mat, where Ed was standing next to a seated, dark-skinned mermaid.
"Welcome to the Eastern Sea!" she said emphatically.
Orson just nodded.
"Orson and Roy…you are team number one!"
(ORSON & ROY 1ST PLACE.)
"YES!" Roy shouted. "It's about time!"
"And I have more good news for you," Ed said. "As the winners of this leg of the race, you've won an all-expense paid seven-day cruise of the Caribbean Sea. Sightseeing, relaxation, tons of food, and you can enjoy it all after the race."
"Thank you so much!" Orson told him.
Back on the Blue Emerald, PAUL & MEIST were boarding. They saw the captain in a particularly cheerful mood. Like the other racers, they were directed to the cargo area for their next clue.
(PAUL & MEIST are currently in fifth place.)
"What do you say, Paul?" Meist asked. "Speedboat or Rowboat?"
"Speedboat, it's faster," he told her.
While they were boarding their speedboat, ANTHONY & MERCEDES were getting on board the blue-sailed galleon. They were directed to the cargo hold.
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are currently in sixth place.)
"Think we can row, Anthony?" asked Mercedes.
"Wouldn't hurt to try," he told her.
While the hitchhikers were still in the cargo area, one of the pirates saw something with his spyglass.
"Captain, I think you need to see this. The Whitewash still has its Tomahawk."
"That's impossible," the captain said. She ran to the front of the ship and looked. Sure enough, Mark's missile remained un-launched. Just as the hitchhikers were coming out, Polly said a very powerful word to express her disdain.
"Wow," said Mercedes. "I've never heard anyone cuss like that before."
Polly turned to her and swore. Then she swore again. And again, and again, and again. The cussing pirate chased Anthony and Mercedes to their canoe. They started rowing as hard as they could.
"If anybody needs me, I'll be in my cabin. Direct all the racers to the cargo area." Well, that wasn't what she said, what she said had a whole lot more curse words in it, but that was the intended message.
Shortly after that little debacle, VIOLET & MICHAEL finished the course and climbed onto the white destroyer.
(VIOLET & MICHAEL are currently in second place.)
"…Warning: the last team to check in may be eliminated." Michael read.
"Don't worry about your clothes," Captain Mark assured them.
It took a while for the supers to change into their swimsuits. In that while, the other Violet and her brother Klaus had rowed their canoe to the same ship.
"Ahoy, there," said the captain. "You'll have to wait until the other team get done before you can use the changing rooms, but I do have your next clue."
(VIOLET & KLAUS are currently in third place.)
"Swim to the next Pit Stop, the Lone Star Cove," Violet read.
Just as soon as she did, Violet and Michael emerged from the changing areas.
"Here, hang on to this," Violet Parr said, handing Capt. Mark her powers inhibitor. "I don't want it to short out in the water." Michael handed over his inhibitor too.
"Okay," the captain said as they dived in, "but if you try anything funny, you know you'll be in big trouble!"
Violet Baudelaire and Klaus quickly ducked into the changing rooms. In the time it took them to get changed, the team ahead of them walked up to the shore. Violet Parr just stood there when she saw who was with Ed.
"Violet and Michael, you're team number two!"
(VIOLET & MICHAEL 2ND PLACE.)
"Yes! Oh, this is awesome! Vi, isn't this wonderful?"
"Yeah, yeah, sure," she answered. She wouldn't turn away. The mermaid got the sense that she was being examined.
"What's the matter with you?" she asked. "You act like you've never seen a black mermaid before."
"Uh, I haven't."
"'Course not. Dang Hollywood won't show a sister with a fish tail."
Later, the other Violet and her brother dived in and swam to the island. They stepped lively onto the mat.
"Violet and Klaus, team number three!"
(VIOLET & KLAUS 3RD PLACE.)
"Whew!" Klaus shouted. "We may be falling down, but at least we're still in the race!"
Back on the Blue Emerald, MARTY & JENNIFER got on board only a few seconds ahead of MAKO & REI. Like the captain had directed them, the crew pointed the racers in the direction of the cargo bay.
(MARTY & JENNIFER are currently in seventh place.)
(MAKO & REI are currently in last place.)
"Let's do Speedboat, honey," Jennifer suggested. Marty agreed.
"Hmm," Mako said thoughtfully. "We might be able to beat them if we do Rowboat."
Rei said, "Okay."
While the last two teams were boarding their crafts, MIKE & SULLEY pulled up to the Whitewash.
"Well, aren't you the frightening bunch?" the captain commented. "Here's your next clue."
(MIKE & SULLEY are currently in fourth place.)
After reading the clue, Mike and Sulley dropped their bags and dove into the sea headfirst. Sulley swam faster than his buddy Mike could, so he reached the shore first. He stood there with his fur dripping wet as he waited for Mike to complete the swim. Once he finished, the monsters raced over to the mat.
"Mike and Sulley, team number four."
(MIKE & SULLEY 4TH PLACE.)
"Yes, we're moving up the ladder!" Mike cheered as he danced his victory dance for the fourth time.
"Now, I understand that you found the Time Clock on this leg. You don't have to use it right away, but if you do, you'll depart from here an hour earlier than you would have otherwise. Take some time to think about it, and give me an answer before noon today, okay?"
"Okay," said Sulley.
Not long after that, PAUL & MEIST pulled up to the white destroyer, and hopped aboard.
(PAUL & MEIST are currently in fifth place.)
"…Warning: the last team to check in may be eliminated." Meist read. "Let's get changed, honey, NOW!"
The reason Meist shouted that last word was because she saw ANTHONY & MERCEDES rowing their canoe to the ship, and wasn't willing that they should catch up to them.
"Hey, I heard about you trying to breathe water at the Roadblock," Captain Mark said to Mercedes. "A lesson learned the hard way, if there ever was one!"
"Yeah, thanks, can I have the clue now?" Mercedes asked.
"Sure, here it is."
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are currently in sixth place.)
"What?" Mercedes asked. "More swimming? But I didn't remember the scuba gear!"
"Relax!" Capt. Gonzalez said. "Just keep your head above the water, and you'll be just fine."
Just as the married couple got out of the changing rooms, the hitchhikers ducked inside.
"Wow, Meist," said Paul. "You look amazing in that thing!"
"You're not so bad yourself, tiger!"
"You know, maybe when we get to the Pit Stop, we could do a little something that doesn't involve mingling with the other teams!"
"You mean sex? Sure, but let's get to the Pit Stop first!"
They dived in and swam to the shore. They were giggling like schoolchildren when they stepped on the mat.
"Paul and Meist, you're team number five!"
(PAUL & MEIST 5TH PLACE.)
"Cool! We're still in it! We can still win it!"
When Anthony emerged, he waited patiently for Mercedes to come out. When she did, he, like Paul, was captivated by her beauty. After they exchanged the 'you look amazings', they dived in and swam. Well, Anthony swam anyway. Mercedes did sort of a modified dog paddle. It wasn't fast, but it was forward. Right then, all that mattered to the alien woman was not drowning. Exhausted, she trudged up to the mat with the human by her side.
"Anthony and Mercedes, you are team number six!"
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES 6TH PLACE.)
"Cool, we'll take it." Anthony said.
"I just decided," Mercedes said, "I don't like water!"
Back on the sea, Rei was rowing with all she had.
"I can't do this, Mako, I just can't!"
"Yes, you can! You have to! That's why you came to the race in the first place, to show the world that you could do anything! Now, fight it, and let's get to that boat!"
"I'm fighting it!"
While they were rowing, MARTY & JENNIFER completed the speedboat course and were pulled on board the Whitewash.
(MARTY & JENNIFER are currently in seventh place.)
"…Warning, the last team to check in may be eliminated!" Jennifer read. "Dear, I think that could be us!"
"Well, we've got no time to lose, let's go!"
From their canoe, Mako and Rei could see the McFlys getting onto the ship.
"Look," Mako said. "They probably have to do another challenge on that ship. We can still catch up!"
The anime girls focused all their efforts on rowing for the rest of the trip.
Meanwhile, Marty and Jennifer dived in and made the swim to the island. They walked up on shore downtrodden, expecting bad news.
"Marty and Jennifer…" Ed began.
"Go ahead, tell us the truth, we're last aren't we?" Marty interrupted.
"…You are team number seven!" Ed finished.
(MARTY & JENNIFER 7TH PLACE.)
"What?" Jennifer asked, shocked.
"And you guys are still in the Amazing Race!"
"Oh, thank you, Jesus!" Marty cried out. He dropped to his knees and said it again and again.
After this, MAKO & REI made it to the Whitewash just a little too late.
"I'm sorry, girls," said Captain Mark, "but I watch seven other teams check into the Pit Stop, so you guys are last."
"Oh, no!" Mako wailed. She started to cry. Rei soon joined her.
"Well, there's no point in making you swim to the mat, so I'll take you there myself. Mr. Six, the rowboat, if you please."
"Aye, captain." Mr. Six lowered the white lifeboat into the water. The anime girls got in, and the compassionate captain rowed them to the shore. They thanked him for the ride amid their tears as they checked into the Pit Stop.
"Welcome to the Eastern Sea," said the mermaid.
Rei just nodded.
"Mako and Rei, you're the last team to arrive."
(MAKO & REI LAST PLACE.)
They said nothing, but their eyes continued to water.
"I'm sorry to tell you that you've been eliminated from the race."
Rei dried her eyes. "That's okay." She didn't really think that, but she didn't want to come across as a sore loser on TV.
"Well," said Mako, "I wish Violet and Michael all the best of luck." And then she spilled over into a wail again.
"I hated being eliminated," Rei told the camera later. "I wanted to show all my friends that I could overcome anything, and I just showed the whole world how weak I am instead. It's heartbreaking."
"I know it's painful to be eliminated at this stage of the race," Mako confessed, "But I believe that someday, we'll look back on our time on the race with nothing but good memories. We may have gotten eliminated, but we got to ride an ostrich! How many other teams did that? Not one of them!"
ON THE NEXT AMAZING RACE: DREAMLAND…
Teams will be flown to Hallow's End, the sector of Dreamland where nightmares come from.
Will teams dare to brave mankind's ultimate fear in exchange for a first place finish?
Will Mike and Sulley cash in that Time Clock they found?
And who will be eliminated next?
(A/N: Yeah, it's probably going to be a little longer than usual before I can post the Hallow's End leg. See I've got this thing coming up, and while you don't need every detail, you do need to know that it's going to take three days out of my life. So bear with me, and be patient. The next leg is coming, I guarantee it!)