Before the race continued, Edward Nemo was seen amid a plethora of giant baby toys.
"Hi there. I know it looks like I've been shrunk, but I haven't. This is Macroatia, a world of giants whose average height is around 45 feet. The entire last leg of the race was within the walls of this house, which belongs to a wonderful single mother named Diana Smith. And in her son's room is a dollhouse that's the perfect size for our racers, so the producers made it the eighth Pit Stop in the Amazing Race. Our teams checked in here at the end of the last leg for a mandatory rest period.
"Although Orson & Roy were last to check in, they were not eliminated, as this was a non-elimination leg. Inasmuch, they were forced to surrender all their belongings save their passports and the clothes on their backs, as well as all of their accumulated cash. They will not be receiving any money to start the next leg. In spite of this tremendous setback, can they move out of last place and avoid elimination? You're about to find out.
"Anthony & Mercedes, who were first to arrive at 5:22 PM, will depart at 5:22 AM."
The room was dark, and Tommy was asleep in his crib (much to his mother's delight), so the galactic hitchhikers had to keep quiet when opening their clue and starting the race.
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are first to depart.)
"Cross the hall to the spare bedroom…" read Anthony.
Teams must now leave Tommy's bedroom and find the spare room. Inside, they will discover an entire country of tiny people, no more than 9 inches high. Called Microatia, it is here that teams will find the next clue.
"Wasn't that the whole lot of tiny people that you stumbled upon last leg?" asked Anthony.
"Yeah, I think it was," Mercedes answered.
"Well, then, we'd better go back,"
Slowly, they pulled the door open and ran across the hall to the spare bedroom. When they opened that door, all the Mircoatians cheered with one voice.
"Welcome, racers!" they said. "You'll find your next clue on the other side of our world! Take care not to destroy any of our buildings, or we shall be forced to hurt you!"
They looked across the large room and saw the clue box. They looked down and saw a very intricate albeit tiny network of people and buildings.
"Something tells me this isn't going to be easy," Anthony muttered.
"Oh, come off it," said Mercedes. "So what if we take out one of their sacred monuments? I'm not saying we are, because we're not, but if we did, what's the worst they could do to us?"
One of the Mircoatians tapped Mercedes on the ankle. "Ma'am," he said, "There was a man about your size who used to terrorize us for fun. He always thought, 'What's the worst they could do to me?' We built this city out of that man's bones and innards."
On hearing this, the red-haired alien was very much distressed. "Mommy!" she muttered.
"Mer," said Anthony, "I think it's time you took some of your own advice."
"Huh?"
"Don't panic! As long as we don't destroy anything, we won't get into trouble!"
"Oh, right, yes, don't panic, gotcha."
They tiptoed their way to the clue box and opened the clue inside.
"Step out into the back yard and sign up for one of two chartered flights…"
Teams must now board one of two planes in the back yard bound for Earhart City, a city floating in the sky. The planes will depart 90 minutes apart. When teams arrive in Earhart City, they must travel by taxi to the Earhart Memorial Library to retrieve their next clue.
"Wow," said Mercedes. "Back in the New Chicago leg, I asked 'What's next, a city floating in the sky?' and wouldn't you know it, that's where we're going!"
"Hey, the irony is not lost on me, love," said Anthony. "Let's go!"
While they were gingerly stepping back through Microatia, the next team was departing the Pit Stop.
(VIOLET & KLAUS are second to depart.)
"Alert: Time Clock hidden on this leg," read Klaus.
"Oh, I remember that! The monsters found one on the Eastern Sea, and when they used it, they surged into first place!"
"We'd better keep on the lookout, then!"
This is the second of only two legs on which a Time Clock has been hidden. The first team to find it can cash it in at any Pit Stop for an hour's worth of time credit. If, however, they come in last on any leg, elimination or not, they must forfeit their Clock. Each team can only use one Time Clock, so they need to decide for themselves the best time to use it.
Not long after the Baudelaire orphans departed, the next team took off.
(VIOLET & MICHAEL are third to depart.)
"Four teams will have 125 dollars for this leg of the race," read Michael, "one team will have zero dollars."
"Do you think we should help the barnyard animals, Mike?"
"We'll help them out if we see them again," he answered. "Right now, we need to keep racing!"
They raced to the spare bedroom right on the heels of Violet & Klaus, who had the door open while Ant & Mer were still negotiating their way through Microatia.
"You're still here?" Violet B. asked surprised.
"Yeah, they'll get upset if you damage their home," Anthony told them.
"They built most of their buildings out of a guy's organs!" Mercedes added.
"Ewwwww!" said the four who hadn't heard that information yet.
"I know, so be careful!"
Up on their tiptoes, the six of them made their way across the room. But the hitchhiker team managed to reach the door before either of the other teams could reach the clue.
Once they were safely outside the spare room, they ran at a full sprint for the back door. Unlike the front door, this one had a pet door installed, which was odd, as Diana did not own a pet. But that's not important, the important thing was that they could get to the back yard without disturbing anyone.
Mercedes, being the slightly braver of the two, jumped through the pet door headfirst. She landed in a soft patch of grass, so it didn't hurt much. It did hurt, just not by much. Anthony carefully lifted the vinyl flap and slid down through the bottom. Outside at last, they sprinted to where two jump jets where waiting.
"Are these the planes bound for Earhart City?" Mercedes asked.
"That they are!" said the ever present race official.
Anthony put their names down on the paper and he and his girlfriend took their seats on the jet.
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES – First on Flight #1.)
"Awesome!" said Anthony. "We may not finish first, but we will not be eliminated!"
While the hitchhikers were riding their wave of good fortune, another team departed from the Pit Stop.
(MIKE & SULLEY are fourth to depart.)
"…Alert:" Mike read, "Time Clock hidden on this leg."
"Too bad we already used the first one," Sulley mused. "We sure could use a leg up."
Over in the spare room where Microatia was, Violet Parr reached the clue box before any of the others could. She took out two clues, and tossed one to Violet Baudelaire. But that would later turn out to be foolish, as the orphans were closer to the door, and were therefore ahead of them.
(VIOLET & KLAUS are currently in second place.)
(VIOLET & MICHAEL are currently in third place.)
"Travel by taxi to the Earhart City Library to get your next clue," read Klaus.
"Caution: Yield ahead," read Michael.
As they walked carefully back through Microatia, Klaus struck up a conversation with Michael.
"Hey, um, you guys wouldn't Yield us, would you?"
"We left our Yield sticker back in Cluedoville, Klaus. Even if we didn't I don't see why we would need to Yield you and your sister."
"Lost your Yield sticker? Hey, sucks for you."
"Listen, could you do us a big favor?" Michael asked.
"What's that?"
"If you do get the chance to Yield someone, could you Yield Anthony & Mercedes, please?"
"How come?" Klaus asked.
"Because that's who we'd Yield if we could."
"Oh. We'll see how it turns out."
"Okay, thanks."
About that time, Mike & Sulley entered the spare room, to the sheer terror of the Mircoatians. Many screamed. A few fainted. But when informed by the ever present race official that these terrifying monsters were racers, they clamed down. Fully aware of the situation, they trod tentatively through the teeny tiny town.
Meanwhile, the unlucky and now destitute barnyard critters were opening their next clue.
(ORSON & ROY are last to depart.)
"Four teams will have 125 dollars," read Roy, "one team, us, will have zero dollars."
"Let's hurry up!" said Orson. "We need all the luck and good fortune we can get right now!"
While they were crossing the hallway, VIOLET & KLAUS burst out of the spare bedroom at a speed so mind blowing that it threw Orson & Roy for a loop. Right on their heels were VIOLET & MICHAEL. After being blown down by the speeding racers, the barnyard critters peeled their remaining body parts from the walls and continued.
( Normally, I wouldn't asterisk part of my story, but I feel that I need to point out that the last sentence was a joke.)
At the back door, the Baudelaire orphans jumped through the pet door, trying their damnedest to stay ahead of the supers, and rightfully so, after all, this was a race, in case you've forgotten. (I really have to stop writing long sentences like that!) Anyway, they ran to the jets as fast as their legs would permit. Once there, they signed up for the first flight.
(VIOLET & KLAUS – Second on Flight #1.)
On board the plane, they exchanged pleasantries with Ant & Mer, took seats closer to the door than them, and started to converse.
"Should we Yield them?" Klaus asked his sister, and by 'them', he meant, of course, Anthony & Mercedes.
"I don't know," she answered. "This is the last Yield, so we don't have to worry about getting Yielded back. But they seem so nice."
"I know, but Michael asked us to do it. So should we?"
"I guess the real question is who to we want to make our enemies, the aliens or the supers?"
"That's easy! Neither!"
"Yes," said Violet, "but that's not an option for us right now. We'll either make them (Anthony & Mercedes) mad, or we'll make them (Violet & Michael, who were just coming onto the plane) mad."
(VIOLET & MICHAEL – Last on Flight #1.)
"We'll figure it out when we land." Violet assured Klaus.
Meanwhile, Orson and Roy arrived in Microatia just as MIKE & SULLEY were getting their next clue. Sulley quickly told them about the situation with the tiny people, how they don't like to have their buildings destroyed. While the animals stepped with caution to the clue box, the monsters stepped with caution toward the door.
Okay, this is starting to get just a little boring, so I'll just fast forward until something interesting happens.
FF FF FF FF FF FF FF FF FF FF FF FF FF FF FF
Whoops! I went too far, let me go back a little.
REW REW REW REW
Ah, here we go.
Mike & Sulley are on the second plane, with Orson & Roy.
"The clue said we need to get a taxi," said Orson, "but we don't have any money! How are we going to pay for it?"
"Hey, if you guys need some money, we could loan you a couple of bucks," said Mike.
"Really? Oh, thank you so much!" Roy took the money from them and stuffed it into his wallet.
All teams are now flying on one of two chartered flights for Earhart City. The first plane houses Violet & Michael, Violet & Klaus, and Anthony & Mercedes. The second plane will depart 90 minutes later, and houses Mike & Sulley and Orson & Roy. When they land, they must travel by taxi from the airport to the Earhart City Library to find their next clue.
As the first plane passed by the floating city, the captain called the passengers' attention to it.
"When the city was first founded," he explained, "it was called Sky City. The people remained largely secluded from society until the alleged disappearance of Amelia Earhart in 1937. She didn't disappear, but landed in Sky City. She shared her knowledge of aviation with the citizenry, and with her help, they started to explore the world below them. The population elected her Grand Chancellor of the city, and she settled here until her true death in 1972. Following that, the city was renamed in her honor."
"Wow," said Violet Baudelaire, "that story sounds almost to good to be true."
"It may not be factual, but it does have a high degree of truthiness."
The plane swooped around to about 5000 feet above the city, and landed smoothly on the airport runway. The three teams on board tore out of the plane like it was on fire. VIOLET & KLAUS were off first, followed closely behind by VIOLET & MICHAEL, and ANTHONY & MERCEDES brought up the rear.
"Taxi!" Klaus shouted when he hit the street. A dark blue car pulled up and let them in.
"Where to, stranger?" asked the cabbie.
"Earhart City Library, and step on it!"
"Right away!"
As they sped away, another cab pulled up. VIOLET & MICHAEL were still in the airport, and by the time they came out, the cab started to pull away.
"Wait! Stop!" Violet screamed. She and her partner ran down the street to catch the car. Somehow, he must have known he was being chased, because he stopped and let them in.
"Can you take us to the library, like, wicked fast?"
"Like, for sure!" he said in a mock-valley accent.
When the hitchhikers, hit the street, they had no trouble getting a cab.
"Go very, very fast, please," Mercedes said slowly and loudly, like she was talking to a foreigner.
"Okay, but I need to know where you are going?"
"To the Earhart City Library. And we're in a race, so please hurry!"
"Library? I know a shortcut!"
"Really?"
"Yeah, you'll be there in no time!"
Unfortunately, this statement would prove to be untrue, and in a sore way.
Time passed, and in that time, the cab that carried VIOLET & KLAUS arrived at the library.
"Thanks for taking us here," said Violet, "but we can't afford to tip you."
"No matter, tipping a cabbie isn't customary in this town."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
He drove away as the orphans stepped quietly into the library.
"Okay, so where's the Yield?" Klaus asked nobody.
"Over here, by the fiction," his sister pointed out.
A visual effect caused Ed to appear on screen next to the platform.
"This is the third of three Yields hidden on the entire race. The first team here can force any team behind them to stop racing for a pre-determined amount of time. Any team that's been forced to Yield must turn over this hourglass and wait for all the sand to run out before continuing. Each team may only use their Yield power once, so they need to decide for themselves the best time to do so."
Violet ripped the "1" from the stand and Klaus dug their picture out of the box. Then he pulled out the one of Anthony & Mercedes, the one he would stick to the sign if he decided to Yield them. He held it in his hands and stared at it.
"What's the matter?" Violet asked.
Klaus said nothing, but somehow his sister understood.
"You can't do it, can you?"
"No. I just don't have peace about it. And I don't think it's right that we should do another team's dirty work because they got careless."
"Okay, we won't do it."
Klaus smiled as he put the picture back into the box. "We choose not to Yield," he said to the camera, and they walked past the Yield sign to the clue box.
(VIOLET & KLAUS are currently in first place.)
"Another Detour," read Violet. "Art or Science?"
A shot of Ed in front of an easel was shown.
"A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this Detour, teams must choose between Art and Science.
"In Art, teams will travel a long distance by marked car to this art studio, where the must each paint a portrait of a female model. What teams don't know, and won't find out until they get there, is that the model will be nude. Once teams have completed their portrait, they will be given the next clue. This task may prove to be a little uncomfortable for the racers, but teams with artistic skill and discretion can finish it quickly.
"In Science, teams will travel a shorter distance by marked car to this university, where they must locate this science lab. Once there, they will be given a 50-question multiple-choice science examination. When they complete the test, they must hand it to the professor to be scored. If they score 70 percent or higher and thus pass the test, the professor will give them the next clue. If they fail, they will have no choice but to go back and do Art. There's nothing unnerving about this task, but if the racers don't know their science, it may only add up to lost time."
"I'm afraid I'm not very good at painting," admitted Klaus.
"Okay, so Science then?"
"Please."
They walked briskly until they got to the door, and from there they ran like hounds from hell for the parking lot. They got into the car and buckled up. Klaus was behind the wheel this time.
No sooner were the orphans on their way to the university than VIOLET & MICHAEL pulled up to the library. The supers raced inside, and knowing that the orphans were ahead of them, it irked Michael to see the Yield sign still empty.
"Oh, nuts, those guys wussed out on us!"
"No, they wussed out on you!" said Violet as she dug her team's picture out of the box. "If you'll recall, I had nothing to do with your little scheme."
"Let's not do this, huh? Not now!" Michael shot back, ripping the "2" from the stand.
"Okay, okay!"
"Oh, um, we lost our sticker, so we can't Yield," Michael told the camera.
(VIOLET & MICHAEL are currently in second place.)
"We have to do Art," said Violet. "It's got to be faster, otherwise, why would they put it further away from the library?"
"Okey-dokey."
They jumped in their car and drove away.
Meanwhile, Anthony & Mercedes' cabbie…was nowhere near the library.
"Huh, that's weird," he said. "This decades-old farmhouse wasn't here yesterday."
"Oh, great," said Mercedes, "you're lost, aren't you?"
"Hey, hey! I may not know where we are, or how do get from here to the library, or any other familiar landmarks, but that doesn't make me lost!"
"Actually, that's the definition of 'lost,'" said Anthony.
"Maybe in Webster's," said the cabbie, "but I'm not a fan of Webster's. I use the dictionary in here," and he pointed to his heart.
"And he uses the paperweight in here," said Mercedes, pointing to her head.
While the hitchhikers and their cabbie still disagreed, the Baudelaire orphans arrived at the university.
"Okay, what room number was it?" Violet asked her brother.
"Let me check, ah, it's room 267. That would be on the second floor."
They ran up the first set of stairs they could find and dashed down the halls. When they came upon room 267, they slowed their pace and cautiously stepped inside.
The room looked pretty much like any academic science lab. It had black tables, a tile floor, a fume hood, and more sinks than you could shake a stick at. Over in the corner was a middle-aged professor, who slumped over his desk. He looked up when Violet & Klaus stepped inside.
"Ah, racers," he said. "Come here and take your examination."
They stepped into the lab and crossed over to his desk. He handed them a packet of papers and a slip of computerized paper.
"Don't write on the test, I have to give this to my students in the morning. Mark your answers on the Scantron thing. I suggest you work together. When you finish, bring it to me. I'll run it through the machine, it'll calculate your score, and hopefully, you'll pass and get your clue.
"One more thing, I have a lot of work I need to do, so do me a favor and try to keep the noise down so I can concentrate, okay?"
"Not a problem," Klaus assured him.
"Find an open desk and get started."
And that's just what they did.
A few minutes later, Ant & Mer's cab finally showed up at the library.
"About time too!" Anthony complained. "You as much as set us back by 25 minutes!"
"Hey, I said I was sorry! What do you want, you want me to turn back time?"
"If it's not too much trouble," said Mercedes, "that would be wonderful."
The cabbie stared at her like she was…well…like she was from another planet.
"What? Isn't this Dreamland, where anything can happen?"
The cabbie rolled his eyes and peeled away, screeching his tires.
"I think you offended him, love," said Anthony.
"Whatever, let's just go!" They walked inside briskly.
"We choose not to Yield," said Anthony to the camera as they sorted out their affairs and took their next clue.
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are currently in third place.)
"What do you think, Earthman?"
"Art sounds like it would be faster."
They hopped into their car and drove away. They hadn't gotten more than one block closer to the studio when the supers arrived. Michael parked the car, and the two raced inside. A man in a beret who spoke with a French accent greeted them.
"Welcome, racers, to my humble studio!" he exclaimed.
"Oh, this place isn't humble," said Violet.
"Yeah," said Michael. "It just needs some new curtains. Then it will be humble."
To their surprise, the artist laughed. He liked the joke.
"Okay, enough of this chit-chat, allow me to introduce you to your model!" He escorted them to the back room, where they saw two easels and two stools, along with an attractive woman who was wearing a smile…and nothing else.
Both were shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight before them, but Violet was quick to regain here composure. Michael, on the other hand, was staring at the model with wide eyes, and his tongue hanging from his mouth. Violet could see that she would have to snap her partner out of it.
A blunt blow to the cranium ought to do the trick, she thought. And that's just what she did. When she did, he almost lost his balance, but he was no longer concerned with the present state of affairs.
"Hey, what was that for?" he asked. He had no idea why she would attack him like that.
"It's for your own good," she explained. "We're never going to get this done if you keep leering at her like that."
"I wasn't leering! Well, not leering per se, but…"
"Shut up and paint! Million dollars, remember?"
"All right! Don't yell at me!"
"I'm not yelling!"
Well, eventually, after the arguing was completed, they settled in and started to paint. While they did that, and the Baudelaires continued with their science test, and the hitchhikers were still driving to the studio, the second plane from Macroatia arrived at the airport much earlier than expected.
ORSON & ROY dashed off the plane very quickly. They were on the street long before MIKE & SULLEY were. They got a cab and pulled away, just as the monsters got outside.
"Oh, man," Mike complained. "We're as good as finished."
"Not yet, we're not!" Sulley told him. "Taxi!"
Looking back, Roy Rooster saw the monsters get a cab.
"Okay, those guys are likely going to catch up to us, and maybe even pass us!" he told Orson.
"But that means we'll get eliminated!" Orson worried.
"Not if we use this," said the rooster, holding up the team's Yield sticker.
Orson shook his head in protest.
"Look, it's either this, or we get the axe!" Roy explained. "We're not here to make friends, remember? Besides, what are they going to do, Yield us back?"
"Fine," Orson sighed.
While they kept driving, the hitchhiker team arrived at the studio. That crazy artist in the beret directed them to another room, other than the one where the supers were. There was another model in this room, in the same state of affairs.
Anthony shut his eyes and turned away. Mercedes only looked for a second, before seeing her boyfriend on the floor like he was having a seizure.
"Come on, get up, Anthony," she said. "We have to do this."
"I don't think I can," he told her. "I might be too distracted by the fact that there's a naked woman in the room!"
"Don't think of her as a naked woman, think of her as a geometric figure," she suggested.
"Okay, I'll try," said Anthony. "It's the dumbest idea I've ever heard, but I'll try it."
As they sat down to begin painting, ORSON & ROY arrived at the library. Quickly, they found the Yield sign. While Orson took the "4" from the stand, Roy found the monster's picture and slapped in onto the sign. Then he placed his team's sticker under "Courtesy of:"
"We are Yielding Mike & Sulley," he said to the camera.
They crossed to the clue box and tore open the clue.
(ORSON & ROY are currently in fourth place.)
"Hmm. We're not very good at real science, what with our show bending the laws of physics for comedic effect," Roy commented.
"So, Art?" asked Orson.
"No, the third option. Of course Art! What, have you got rocks for brains?"
"Well, excuse me!"
They ran to the parking lot. As they did, they passed by MIKE & SULLEY.
"Good luck, guys, you're going to need it!" taunted Roy.
"Roy, we've done enough to them, don't make it worse!" Orson chided.
Mike wondered what the heck they were talking about, until he and his partner got inside. The Yield sign told them all they needed to know.
"Hmm. I guess they did it just to put some distance between us." Sulley mused.
"Never mind why they did it, let's just wait this out." Mike turned over the hourglass. "Well, as long as we're here, we might as well catch up on some reading. I've been meaning to finish Frankenstein."
While Mike started to browse the fiction section, the Baudelaire kids were just about finished with the examination. Thanks to Klaus's bear trap memory, they were able to breeze through it without difficulty. Once they finished, they turned in their answer sheet to the professor.
"Oh, done already? Are you sure of your answers?"
"Yeah," they said.
He ran the computerized paper through a scanner of sorts. It made a lot of noise as the paper crept in one end and out the other. Out the other side, it had a few red marks on it, likely put there by the machine.
"Umm-hmm," said the professor, looking at it thoughtfully. "84 percent correct. Congratulations, you passed!"
"AWESOME!" shouted Violet.
"Shh! There are other classes going on here too, you know!" He handed them a clue, which they opened quietly.
(VIOLET & KLAUS are still in first place.)
"Make your way to the police station," read Klaus.
Teams must now get back into their cars and drive to the Earhart City police station, second precinct. Once there, they must locate the interrogation room, where they will find the next clue.
As the orphans were getting back in their car, Klaus said to his sister, "That had to be so much easier than painting a picture."
Speaking of which, Violet Parr finished her painting quickly, for someone who had to keep her partner from staring. Michael, however, wasn't even halfway finished. Anyone care to guess why? Thankfully, Violet didn't have to resort to physical measures anymore.
"Michael!" she shouted when she caught him ogling the model.
"I'm painting, I'm painting!" he asserted.
Over in the other room, Anthony found that Mercedes' suggestion actually worked. By keeping his mind focused on geometry, he found that he wasn't always stopping to stare. And it was strange, because he found a sort of new appreciation for the female body by analyzing it in depth like he was.
He completed his painting about the same time that Mercedes did. When they called the chief artist, he was impressed with Anthony's rendition, and he stated so. While he praised the human for his artistic skill, Mercedes gently reminded him that they were in a race. They received their next clue while the artist was still entranced with the painting.
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are currently in second place.)
"Okay, the police station, let's go!"
They dashed out of the studio so quickly, that they didn't even notice a smallish orange object right by the door. Had they noticed it, they would have seen it was the Time Clock.
Not long after that, Michael finally finished his painting. Violet called in the artist, who said their work was satisfactory. He handed her the next clue.
(VIOLET & MICHAEL are currently in third place.)
"Okay, the police station, come on, Mike. Mike?" Mike was staring again. Violet grabbed him by the ear and pulled him away. It was only then that he stopped looking like a hungry dog.
"Huh, what? Oh, we're moving on? Cool!"
As they ran to the door, something caught Violet's eye. It was round and orange, and right behind the door. They wouldn't have seen it coming in, only going out. On closer inspection, she saw it was a clock, with its hands at one and twelve. The Time Clock!
"Michael, look what I found!" she cheered.
"Awesome! Now, let's go!"
As they departed from the studio, they collided with ORSON & ROY.
"Hey, guys," said Orson. "Is this task easy?"
"Oh, yeah, if you think you can handle it," said Violet.
The barnyard critters stepped inside. That crazy artist directed them to a room in the back. When they saw what they would have to do, they protested.
"Whoa!" said Orson. "I can't do this! I'm from a child's cartoon show. This would ruin my reputation!"
"So," said the artist, "what are you going to do, take the science test?"
"Ors, we can't afford lost time at this point in the race. Let's just do it, and we just won't tell anybody about this."
"Roy, this is going to be on national TV."
"Come on, Piggo, million dollars!"
Orson sighed. "All right, let's get this over with."
They sat down and began to paint.
About that same time, VIOLET & KLAUS were still driving toward the police station.
"Are you sure you know where we're going?" asked Klaus.
"What do you mean am I sure? You're my navigator! Are you sure we're going the right way?"
"Well, the map said it would be on Wright Street, and this is Wright Street."
"So, why haven't we seen it yet?" asked Violet.
"I don't know, maybe it's the other w…wait, there it is!"
"Where?"
"There!"
"Where?"
"Violet, look where I'm pointing!"
She looked. "Oh, there, right."
She pulled into the parking lot and parked the car. They raced inside.
"Excuse me," Klaus said to the receptionist, "but where's the interrogation room?"
"Down that hall, turn right, then left, then look for the second door on the left."
"Thank you!"
Meanwhile…back at the library…
"Whoa," Mike said. "That Mary Shelly has a gift for spooking folks."
"Okay, Mike, if you are quite finished," Sulley chided, "our time at the Yield is up, so we need to move on."
"Oh, right, million dollars." He took the "5" from the stand and ran to meet his friend at the clue box.
(MIKE & SULLEY are currently in last place.)
"We'll have to move fast, 'cause we're in last place."
(I just said that!)
"Oh, shut up, superimposed text!"
"Come on, Mikey, focus! Art or Science?"
"Um, I don't know, Science, I guess!"
"Great, let's make tracks!"
And they did.
Seconds later, the supers saw something on the road ahead of them.
"Hey, isn't that Anthony & Mercedes' car?" Michael asked.
"Yeah, it looks like it. Let me see if I can pass them!" Violet punched the accelerator.
Unfortunately, the hitchhikers didn't notice this power play of the part of Violet & Michael…until they saw their car right up next to theirs.
"Oh, holy Zarquon, Anthony!" Mercedes screamed. "Do something!"
"I'm trying, but they're already a gear ahead of me!"
Slowly but surely, Violet's car inched forward in relation to Anthony's. Soon enough, the supers were ahead of the hitchhikers.
(VIOLET & MICHAEL are currently in second place.)
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are currently in third place.)
Anthony mashed his horn in anguish. Michael cheered loudly.
"IN YOUR FACE!" he screamed.
About the same time that this was going on, the orphans arrived at the interrogation room. Inside, there were five tables, each one with two stools, and a polygraph machine. There were six men in white coats in the room. Five were by the tables, one to a table, and one was right by the door. It was this man who spoke to the team.
"Hello. Are you with the race?" Violet and Klaus nodded. "Then you'll need this," and he handed them the next clue.
(VIOLET & KLAUS are still in first place.)
"Roadblock," read Violet. "Who's not afraid of the truth?"
Ed was then seen hooked up to one of the lie detectors.
"A Roadblock is a task that only one person may perform," he said. The technician held a thumbs-up to indicate that he was telling the truth. "Any racer may complete more than six Roadblocks on the entire race." The technician did a thumbs-down to indicate that he was lying. "In this Roadblock, we lead racers on to believe that the one doing the Roadblock will take a lie detector test." Thumbs-up. "And that is what they will actually do." Thumbs-down. "Okay, the racer doing the Roadblock will administer a polygraph test, and if they give accurate readings at least 90 percent of the time, they will receive the next clue." Thumbs-up. "What teams don't know is that the person taking the test is their own partner!" Thumbs-up.
"I'll do this one," said Violet. She was surprised to learn that she would have to give her own brother a lie detector test. Quickly, he was hooked up to the machine, and Violet was given a clipboard of questions to ask.
"Okay, here's how it works," said the technician, "you read this graph to the best of your ability, and you give me your assertion of the truth of falsity of your brother's statements. If you get nine out of ten right, you can move on. The first two questions are just to warm the machine up, so those don't count. Ready?"
"Ready as I'll ever be," said Violet.
"Okay, Klaus Baudelaire, is that in fact your real name?"
"Yes."
"Are you a camel?"
"No! What kind of ridiculous question is that?"
"Klaus, calm down, we have to register a 'no' answer."
"Oh, sorry."
"Okay, let's get started. First question: Are you loyal to the Supreme Chancellor of Earhart City?"
The question confused Klaus. "Uh, no?"
Violet examined the graph, and concluded that he was telling the truth. The technician confirmed this.
"One for one," Violet muttered.
As they started the examination, MIKE & SULLEY arrived at the university. They mounted the steps to the designated room. They expected the professor to jump at the sight of them, like almost every other person they encountered on the race. But the professor was so busy with his work that either he didn't notice or he didn't care that a pair of monsters just walked in. Either way, he merely waved them off, directed them in the test instructions, and simply went back to work.
Back at the art studio, the pig and the rooster had completed their painting of the, um, well, you know. However, they did it mostly without looking at the model or the canvas, so it sort of looked like a post-modernistic collage-y, random, sort of general mishmash that resembled anything but a female model.
Orson examined the work that he and his partner had done, and concluded, "We're going to have to do this again."
But when the artist came back, he saw their work, and said something they were not expecting: "It's wonderful! It's genius! It's better than Renoir!"
"Huh?"
"It's like, you've looked past the exterior and captured the very essence of the model's soul!"
Roy looked at Orson confused, and the pig looked back at the rooster just as confused.
"So…do we get our clue or what?"
"Oh, this deserves more than just the next clue! This belongs in a museum, or a gallery! Connoisseurs would pay millions for this kind of work!"
"Yeah, that's nice, but about the next clue?"
"Huh? Oh, yes, yes, quite right, of course." He handed them the much-needed yellow envelope.
"'Bout frickin' time," Roy said. Orson lightly admonished him for that. "OW! Jeez, Ors, give me a black eye, why don't you?"
(ORSON & ROY are currently in fourth place.)
"Okay, the police station, come on, Roy, let's motor!"
While the barnyard critters were getting in the car, VIOLET & MICHAEL arrived at the police station. Less than a minute later, ANTHONY & MERCEDES pulled up. Both teams ran inside with purpose and daring, each one trying to outdo the other. But the supers beat out the hitchhikers in a footrace to the interrogation room.
"Is this where we get our next clue?" Michael asked.
"No, this is a weigh station. We have to make sure you're less than 200 pounds before you can continue. Here's your sign!" He handed them the clue when he said that.
(VIOLET & MICHAEL are still in second place.)
"Roadblock," read Violet, "who's not afraid of the truth?"
"That's me!" Michael chimed up. "I can take this polygraph test, easy."
"Oh, no!" Violet said. "It says here that you have to give the test…to me!"
"Hey, no fair, they tricked us!"
"Well, it's too late to do anything about it now, so let's just get this over with."
While Violet Parr was getting hooked up to the machine, ANTHONY & MERCEDES entered and got their clue.
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are still in third place.)
"I think it's my turn to do the Roadblock," said Anthony.
The revelation that Mercedes would be answering questions didn't faze them.
Over on the other side of the room, the Baudelaire orphans were almost finished.
"Wow, I'm impressed," said the technician, "you learned how to read the polygraph almost instantly! You've gotten nine out of nine correct!"
"Well, it's fairly easy to begin with," said Violet B.
"Right. Anyway, even though you've got enough to get your clue, I still have to read this last question. The phrase 'just a formality' comes to mind."
"Bring it on," Klaus said.
"Okay, last question, are you in this race solely for the fictional million dollars?"
He had told the truth on the last nine questions, so he decided to lie this one time, just to see if the machine really worked.
"Yes."
The needles started to vibrate differently, and Violet noticed this. She made a thumbs-down. The technician nodded his head.
"Excellent, ten for ten! Well, here's your next clue, but before you open it, there's something else." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cellular phone. He handed it to the orphans.
While he does, we hear Ed in a voiceover explaining the situation.
"After racers complete the Roadblock on this leg, they are presented with a cell phone, and are told they may use it to contact their loved ones. They may stay on the phone as long as they wish, with only one caveat: they must end their call before they can open the next clue."
"We have to call Sunny, sister," said Klaus. "We have to let her know how we're doing."
"Right. We left her with the Quagmires, right?"
"Um-hmm."
Violet dialed the number.
At the Quagmire residence, Duncan was trying desperately to get baby Sunny to eat, without much success. When he heard the phone ring, he sprang right up and answered it.
"Quagmire residence, this is Duncan."
"Duncan, it's Violet."
"Oh, hey Violet! How's the race?"
"We're doing just fine, we're actually in first place. Listen, can you put Sunny on the phone please?"
Duncan was a little confused. "Okay, but I don't see what good that would do." He handed to phone to the baby. "It's for you."
Sunny took the phone from Duncan and spoke into it. Now, although she's a baby and can't speak very well, her brother and sister can understand her. I'm going to type her words in English, but understand that those are the words Violet and Klaus understand, not the words she is actually saying.
"Hello?"
"Sunny, it's us."
"Oh, hey guys. Um, why are you calling me? Aren't racers barred from calling their relatives?"
"They made an exception for this race. We have to hang up before we can continue."
"Oh, I see. So, how are you faring?"
"We're still in it, and we're currently in the lead."
"Fantastic! So, is Dreamland everything you guys expected it to be?"
"Oh yeah! It's amazing! There's this city built by animals, a colony on Mars, even a city floating in the sky!"
"Wow! We might have to go back someday, huh?"
"I don't see why not. We just came into some serious money on the race!"
"Great. Well, I really shouldn't keep you form racing, so I'll say goodbye for now."
"Okay, goodbye Sunny!" Violet clapped the phone shut and handed it back. Klaus opened the clue just as soon as he saw the phone close.
(VIOLET & KLAUS are still in first place.)
"Drive yourselves to the next Pit Stop!"
Teams must now drive themselves to the center of town and locate this statue of Amelia Earhart. Erected in her honor at the time of her death, this bronze structure will serve as the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in here may be eliminated.
"Quickly, let's go!" Violet said. They ran out of there just a hair faster than lightning.
While those two were still on the telephone, MIKE & SULLEY were just about finished with their examination. They handed it in to the professor to be scored, which he did.
"72 percent correct. Wow, you just barely squeaked by. Congratulations." He handed them the clue they sought.
(MIKE & SULLEY are still in last place.)
"Hey, do you know were the police station is?" Mike asked the professor.
"No."
Speaking of the Police Station, Violet Parr was just getting used to the polygraph test.
"Next question: given the chance to race again, would you choose a different partner?"
Now, she started to sweat. She knew Michael wouldn't like it if she said yes, but the truth was, she found Michael's arrogance to be a liability. She looked at the lie detector and realized the truth would come out anyway.
"Yes, I would choose a different partner."
Michael, who was blinded by his own vanity, made a thumbs-down.
"Incorrect, she was telling the truth."
"What? Violet, no!"
"It's not what you think, Mike! I'd just rather be with a member of my own family, that's all!"
Mercedes, on the other hand, was cool as a cucumber.
"Are you from another planet?"
"Yes."
Anthony made a thumbs-up.
"Are you a scout for an invasion force from your home planet?"
"No."
Thumbs-up.
"Do you enjoy the taste of human flesh?"
"Never had it."
Thumbs-up.
Both teams were very close to finishing up the exam, when ORSON & ROY entered the interrogation room. The guy at the door handed them their next clue.
(ORSON & ROY are still in fourth place.)
"I don't care what this Roadblock entails, Roy, you're doing it!"
"Okay," said Roy, "but me doing this Roadblock means you'll have to take a lie detector test."
"Are you trying to scare me into doing it?"
"Well, is it working?"
"No."
"Then, of course not! Why would you ever dream of such a thing?"
Orson got himself hooked up to the machine, and the questioning began.
"Orson Pig is your real name?"
"Yes."
"Are you a real pig?"
"No, I'm a cartoon pig."
"Okay, now that the machine is warmed up, we can begin the questioning. First question: given the chance to race again, would you choose a different partner?"
"Uh, I probably would, no offense to Roy."
Roy studied the polygraph. "Okay, I think he is telling the truth."
"Correct, but next time, a simple thumbs-up or thumbs-down will do."
"Okay, sorry."
About that time, VIOLET & MICHAEL were finishing up.
"Okay, last question, and Mike, you need this to get your next clue. Violet Parr, does your team have a grudge against Anthony & Mercedes?"
She was silent for a few seconds. Then she answered, "No."
Michael gave a thumbs-up.
"Correct. Here you go, but before you open it, I have something else for you." He handed them the phone and explained the situation.
"We have to call my parents," Violet said.
"No argument here," Michael told her.
Violet dialed the number.
It was dinnertime at the Parr's house.
"Mom, you're doing it again!"
"Doing what?"
"Making weird faces at Jack-Jack."
"I do not do that!"
That was about the time that the phone rang.
"I got it!" Dash said, jumping up from the table. "Hello?"
"Hey, squirt, it's your favorite sister!"
"Vi, you're my only sister. So, why are you calling? Have you been eliminated already?"
"No, you little insect, we've been given a call as part of the race. So, hurry up and put Mom on the phone!"
"Okay. Mom, it's Violet! She's calling from the race!"
"Hey, sweetie, how's it going?"
"We're doing great, Mom, we, um, we won a trip to Japan so far."
"That's cool!"
"So, how are things over there?"
"Oh, you know, same old, same old. We managed to save the day once or twice even without you and Michael, but we miss you guys so much!"
"That's great to hear. Listen, I have to get off the phone before we can continue racing, so give everyone my best, and Michael says hi."
"I'll do that. Best of luck!"
"Bye, Mom." She hung up and returned the phone. Then she opened the clue.
(VIOLET & MICHAEL are still in second place.)
"Drive to the next Pit Stop, the bronze statue of Amelia Earhart."
While Violet was still on the phone with her family, ANTHONY & MERCEDES finished their examination.
"Okay, that was all of them. Here's your next clue, but before you open it, there's something else." He handed them the phone and explained the situation.
"Can this thing reach a starship in some distant part of the galaxy?" asked Mercedes.
"This is Earhart City, home of the best cell reception in the universe. You could call God Himself, if you had the number."
"Perfect!" Mercedes dialed a very complex number.
Over in said distant part of the galaxy, the Heart of Gold II was on cruise-control while her pilot took a power nap. Zara Astra Beeblebrox V was awoken by the sound of the ship's telephone.
"Somebody get that?" she hollered, not wanting to get up. "Emily?"
"In the shower!"
Zara growled. As she got up to answer the phone, she wondered to herself why a robot would need a shower anyway.
"What is it?" she said, rather rudely.
"Now, Zara, is that any way to speak to your cousin?"
"Oh, Mercedes, it's you! I'm sorry I'm so grouchy, you kind of woke me up."
"It's cool, Z."
"So, how goes the race? You and Monkeyman kicking ass out there?"
"We try, but you know how the race goes, one minute, you're on top, next minute, you're in last place."
"Hmm."
"So, how are things where you are?"
"Oh, you know, the usual. Can't complain."
"Good to hear. Listen, I have to end this call, so tell everyone I said hi, and Anthony sends his best."
"Will do. Good luck, cuz!"
Mercedes closed the phone and handed it back. Before she opened the clue, she noticed that the supers were long gone.
"We'd better hustle," said Anthony.
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are still in third place.)
"Warning: the last team to check in may be eliminated," read Mercedes.
They barreled through the doors to the parking lot.
In the midst of all this, the once again lucky Baudelaires managed to find the bronze statue of Amelia Earhart. Quickly, they parked the car and ran to the mat. Ed was there, as usual, and beside him was a woman who looked a lot like the famous female aviator, only slightly different.
"Hello," said the woman when the orphans stepped on the mat. "I am Hannah Jones, direct descendant of our fair city's namesake. It gives me great pleasure to welcome you to Earhart City."
"Thank you very much," said Violet.
"Violet and Klaus…you are team number one!"
(VIOLET & KLAUS 1ST PLACE.)
"Awesome!" said Klaus. "Do we win something, do we, do we?"
"Wow, you're one step ahead of me! Yes, as the winners of this leg of the race, you have won…a lifetime supply of ice cream!"
"Huh?"
"Yeah, the producers are starting to run out of prize ideas. It was either this or shares of CBS."
"Whatever, we'll take it."
Sometime after this, the last place monster team finally made it to the interrogation room. They saw Orson and Roy still doing the Roadblock, so they figured they still had a chance.
(MIKE & SULLEY are still in last place.)
"Let's see," said Sulley. "I've done four and you've only done three, so I think it's your turn to do one."
"Okay," said Mike.
It didn't upset them in the slightest that Sulley would end up doing the hard part of this Roadblock. The blue-furred monster got strapped in quickly and began the exam.
"Your name is James Sullivan?"
"Yes."
"Are you a human being?"
"No."
"Okay, first question, are you upset that Orson and Roy Yielded you earlier today?"
"Hey, how did you know that?"
"Answer the question."
"Oh, yes."
Mike made a thumbs-up.
"Correct."
Time passed…
"Okay, Orson, last question. Do you enjoy your job as a farmer?"
"Yes."
Roy made a thumbs-down.
"Sorry, but the polygraph indicates that he is telling the truth."
"Huh? Oh, great."
"Relax, one mistake is permitted. You can have your next clue, but I must tell you something else." He handed them the phone and explained the rule.
"We should call our friends back on the farm," Orson said. He dialed the number.
As it so happens, Wade the Duck was passing by the farm's telephone when it rang. The phone's ring startled him.
"HELP! The telephone is ringing! Oh, incoming telephone call that could potentially be from some kind of serial killer! Definite telephone call coming, oh, HEEEEEEEEELP!" And off he went, running and screaming in his usual manner.
Presently, Bo Sheep came to the phone and answered it.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Bo, It's Orson."
"Oh, hey, pig man, what's up? How goes the race?"
"We're doing better than I thought we would. Is the farm still shipshape?"
"Yeah, sort of."
"Sort of, what do you mean sort of?"
"Well, we've had just about every mishap we've ever had, you know, your brothers going after the produce, the weasel going after the chickens, and that guy from the network trying to economize the show."
"So, you were able to handle them, right?"
"Yeah, but without you around, it wasn't perfect. Long story short, when you get back, we need to rebuild the barn."
"Okay, thanks. Listen, we need to get off the phone, so goodbye."
"See ya, Ors."
Orson closed the phone, and Roy opened the clue.
(ORSON & ROY are still in fourth place.)
"All right, Pit Stop!" screamed Roy.
The barnyard critters burst through the doors.
Meanwhile, Violet and Michael had located the bronze statue where the mat was. They stepped on it with a running jump.
"Violet and Michael, you're team number two!"
(VIOLET & MICHAEL 2ND PLACE.)
"Sweet!" Michael said.
"Now, I understand you guys found something on this leg?"
Violet held up the Time Clock and handed it to Ed.
"You hang onto that until you're ready to cash it in. Take tonight to think about it, and give be your answer before you depart."
"Okay," said Violet.
Back in the interrogation room, Mike and Sulley were almost finished.
"Last question. Given the chance to race again, would you race with a different partner?"
"No."
Thumbs-up.
"Correct. That's ten for ten. Here's your next clue, but first, a little something extra." Again, the phone was delivered and rules explained.
"Who do we have to contact?" Sulley asked. "My parents are on vacation somewhere without their phones."
"I can't call Celia, I don't know if she's home from Hallow's End yet," said Mike.
"Looks like we don't have to waste time on a call after all!" Sulley handed the phone back as Mike tore open the clue.
(MIKE & SULLEY are still in last place.)
"Warning: the last team to check in may be eliminated!" read Mike.
"Let's roll!"
They tore the door off its hinges as they ran to the parking lot.
( That wasn't a joke.)
Meanwhile, the hitchhiker team pulled up the statue of Earhart.
"Anthony and Mercedes, you're team number three!"
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES 3RD PLACE.)
"Whew!" said Anthony. "We'll take it."
Back in the parking lot, Mike and Sulley were just getting into the car.
"So," said Mike, "do we know where this bronze statue is?"
"Relax," said Sulley. "I asked a guy at the station, and he told me exactly where it was."
"Then, drive on!"
Orson and Roy, however, were not so well informed.
"Orson, are we lost?"
"I think so, Roy. No matter, we'll just stop and ask for directions."
Orson pulled into a service station and asked the attendant where he could find the city's most cherished monument.
"It's right in the center of town," he told the pig. "Just head down this street this way, and when you come to Main Street, turn right. From there, you can't miss it."
"Okay, thank you!" Orson peeled out of the lot like he stole the car.
We see a shot of Mike and Sulley driving, then one of Orson and Roy. We then see them parking the cars and getting out. We see the monsters running up a street. Then, Ed points in the direction of the coming team. Next, the animals are running up the same street. Finally, we see a first-person shot of one of the teams checking in.
The camera angle changed to show which team it is. Orson and Roy stroll up to the mat and breathe a sigh of relief that they made it.
"Orson and Roy, you are team number four!"
(ORSON & ROY 4TH PLACE.)
"Ha!" Roy shouted.
"And you guys are still in the Amazing Race."
"Awesome!" said Orson. "Does this mean we'll get money at the start of the next leg?"
"Yep."
"Cool. I'm looking forward to a rest."
Another depressing medley played as Mike and Sulley stepped onto the mat.
"Welcome to Earhart City," Hannah said.
"Thank you," said Mike.
"Mike and Sulley, you're the last team to arrive."
(MIKE & SULLEY LAST PLACE.)
"I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated form the race."
Sulley sighed heavily. "Oh, well. At least we won't be going away empty-handed."
"Huh?" asked Mike.
"Remember, we won that trip to Germany in the Peach Town leg?"
"Oh, yeah! Cool!" Mike then broke into his usual victory dance.
"Mike, if I've told you once, I've…you know what, forget it. You've been eliminated. Go ahead and dance to your heart's content."
And dance he did.
"I don't mind losing," Mike told the camera. "All that matters to me is that I was on TV! I wish the best of luck to all the other teams."
"I won't deny that I'm disappointed to lose out on the fictional million," Sulley confessed, "but I am glad that we don't have to race anymore. It will be nice to kick back and relax for a while, until the race is finished."
ON THE NEXT AMAZING RACE: DREAMLAND…
Teams better have their game face on, because the name of the game is gaming in San Ludo. Can teams master a new game in seconds to claim a Fast Forward? Can they play with the big boys, or will they pay like the big boys? Stay tuned and find out!