Before the race continued, Edward Nemo was seen leaning against a bronze statue.
"This is Earhart City, a city floating in the sky. It was called Sky City until Amelia Earhart landed here in 1937. She helped the citizenry turn the city into the bustling metropolis it is today. Following her death, the city was renamed after her, and this bronze statue erected in her honor. This monument to the greatest female aviator in history was the ninth Pit Stop in the Amazing Race.
"The four remaining teams checked in here at the end of the last leg for a mandatory rest period. This allowed them time to eat, sleep, and mingle with the other teams. Violet and Michael, who found the second hidden Time Clock, have decided to cash it in now for an hour of time credit. Will they maintain their newly gained lead? Or will the teams behind pass them up? And for the second leg in a row, can Orson & Roy scramble out of last place?
"Violet and Michael, who were second to arrive at 9:01 AM, have gained and hour's credit and will depart first, at 8:01 PM."
It was dark out, naturally. Violet was scratching at her inhibitor like she was having an allergic reaction. Michael told her not to do that, as it was making him itch. She complied, and he opened their clue.
(VIOLET & MICHAEL are first to depart.)
"Make your way to Paul's Parachute Palace…"
Teams must now travel to the edge of town and find this parachute store. Once there, they will purchase a pair of parachutes, and then skydive right off the edge of Earhart City. Teams will land in a foreign jungle, but near the drop site, they will find the next clue.
"You will have 358 dollars for this leg of the race," he finished.
"Wow, we're going to jump off the edge of the city?" Violet inquired. "That's got to be scary."
They got into the same automobile they were given for the last leg, this time with Michael driving, and set off.
"Man, this thing is itchy as hell!" Violet fumed. "And I can't even scratch it well, 'cause I can't get to the skin. Maybe if I take it off…"
"Violet, no!"
"Just for a little bit? I'll put it right back on, and it'll be like I never had it off!"
"Vi, we can't afford it. We might get disqualified!"
"Just a little bit?"
"NO!"
"But it itches!"
Michael knew he wouldn't be able to stand Violet if she kept this up throughout the race. He reached into the glove compartment and pulled out the tire gauge. He handed it to Violet, saying, "here, use this."
She stuck it under her inhibitor and scratched. "Ooooohhhhh! That feels good!"
The rest of the trip was mostly quiet, until they came to Paul's Parachute Palace.
The windows of the store were dark, and when Michael tried to open it, he found that it was locked. The sign on the door conveyed the terrible news.
HOURS OF OPERATION: 9 AM to 8 PM. It was currently 8:02.
Michael was livid. By two minutes, they had missed their chance to surge into first place. Violet, on the other hand, was much calmer about it. She settled in for a nap while her partner paced like a tiger in a cage.
45 minutes passed. Then, back at the Pit Stop…
(VIOLET & KLAUS were second to depart.)
"Once there," read Violet, "buy a pair of parachutes and skydive to your next destination!"
"Whoa! As in off the edge of the city?" Klaus asked nobody.
"That's what it says!"
"Oh, well, come on, we don't have time to waste!"
They clambered back into their marked car and drove away. They didn't get lost along the way, so they arrived at the parachute place rather quickly. They saw another team there, either asleep or headed that way.
"Closed, eh?" asked Klaus.
No response. The Baudelaires didn't mind it, they just settled in next to them.
Later…
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are third to depart.)
"You will have 358 dollars for this leg of the race," Mercedes read.
"Hey, Mer, I don't think I'm too comfortable about this whole skydiving thing."
"Relax, Anthony. The parachute will provide enough drag to slow down the fall, so you won't kill yourself."
"Maybe, but still."
Mercedes showed him the cover of her copy of the Guide. The words DON'T PANIC provided Anthony with the resolve to do anything.
"Let's jet!"
They got in their car and drove off. Unlike the other times, they didn't arrive at the store before the next team left the Pit Stop.
(ORSON & ROY are last to depart.)
"Whoo-hoo!" cheered Roy. "We're going skydiving!"
"I've always wondered what skydiving was like!" Orson said. "Now I'll finally be able to do it!"
"Well, let's not dilly-dally! Company, ho!"
The barnyard critters got into their car and peeled out of the parking lot.
More time passed…
When Ant & Mer pulled up to Paul's Parachute Palace, they saw four people in front of the store sleeping. As Mercedes went to park, Anthony checked the sign on the door. The other teams didn't stir as he passed.
"Are they all asleep?" Mercedes asked quietly when she returned.
"Yep. Out like lights, they are. They have no clue we caught up."
"Great." And then they settled in for a nice long nap.
After they had fallen asleep, ORSON & ROY pulled up at long last. Seeing the store was closed, and the other teams napping, they decided to join the ranks. As the barnyard critters drifted off to Dreamland, they smiled knowing they were the only ones who knew that all the teams were even once more.
As dawn broke, everybody could see that all the teams had arrived. However, there was some dispute as to what order they arrived in.
"We were so here before you guys!"
"No way! You weren't here until after we got here!"
"We were here first, and they can back us up!"
"I didn't see anything. I was sleeping!"
This went on for about fifteen minutes or so. Then, Orson stepped up and offered a solution.
"It doesn't really matter what order we got here in, we're all here now. I suggest we pretend we all got here at the same time. You know, each team for themselves?"
The pig's plan made too much sense for them to argue with, so they went along with it. And then, with bravado and determination, all the racers…waited. The store still wasn't open yet.
But that would soon change, as a car had pulled around back into the parking lot. Out of the car stepped a man, who entered the parachute store through the back door. With keys in hand, he unlocked the front door, and the poor guy was nearly trampled underfoot by the speeding racers.
"I knew agreeing to be part of the race was a mistake," he muttered.
The racers all split up and each got their own parachutes. That way, they'd save time. Once they had their chutes, they all ran to the checkout, hoping to be first. But only one team could check out first, and that team was…ORSON & ROY.
"Okay," said the clerk. "One pig-sized chute and one rooster-sized chute, that's 215 dollars and 84 cents. Cash only, please."
Orson handed him a wad of bills. "Keep the change, we're in a rush!" They grabbed their chutes and ran outside.
ANTHONY & MERCEDES were next in line. "One human-sized chute and one alien-sized chute, 258 dollars and 29 cents."
Mercedes paid him, and they left.
Next in line were VIOLET & KLAUS. "Right, two orphan-sized parachutes will run you about 203 dollars and 92 cents."
"Here's two-oh-four," said Klaus. "Keep the change."
Last in line were VIOLET & MICHAEL.
"Hmm. One super-heroine-sized chute, plus one apocryphal-self-insert-only-exists-for-author's-wish-fulfillment-super-hero-sized chute. Your total is 267 dollars and two cents."
"You had to put the two cents in, didn't you?" Michael said begrudgingly.
"Look, you want the damn parachutes or not?"
"Fine." He paid him and left.
Meanwhile, the rest of the teams found the site that they would jump from, right behind the parachute store. ORSON & ROY were the first to arrive, followed closely behind by ANTHONY & MERCEDES. The ever-present race official told the hitchhikers to wait until the barnyard critters hit the ground before they jumped. They thought that was fair.
As soon as the official gave the signal, Orson and Roy jumped from the lip of the city boldly. In free fall, they enjoyed the most exhilarating experience since the microgravity they felt on the way to New Chicago. They deployed their parachutes just in time. As they coasted down, they took in the sights.
"Hey, this is new," said Roy. "This doesn't look like any sector of Dreamland we've seen so far."
"I know," Orson commented. "It looks like a jungle village, with a stone temple, grass huts, and all that jazz."
"Is this where the next leg of the race is going to take place?"
"Maybe. Only the next clue will tell."
"Well, here's our drop zone."
The animals bent their knees as they landed to soften the blow. Then they unstrapped themselves from their parachutes and located the clue box.
(ORSON & ROY are currently in first place.)
"Welcome to the jungles of San Ludo…" read Orson.
Upon landing, teams will find themselves in the jungle country of San Ludo, home to the San Ludans, the only indigenous tribe in history to place a higher value on gaming than on medicine. Teams must now travel through the jungle to the Temple of Mighty Prob, which they can see from the drop zone. It is at this temple where teams will find their next clue.
After they departed for the temple in the east, the official on the ground radioed back to the one in Earhart City, saying that the next team could then jump.
Anthony stood next to the lip of the city. He could see that it was a long way down. He got a touch of vertigo, and had to take a step back to keep himself from falling prematurely.
"Anthony, are you okay?" Mercedes cried. She rushed to catch him.
"I'm fine, for now. I don't think I can do this."
"Come on, honey, it will be over before you know it."
"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of."
Anthony stood up and resumed his spot on the lip of the city. He looked at Mercedes nervously.
"Look," she said, "we'll jump together on the count of three. One…two…THREE!"
Mercedes jumped, but Anthony hesitated. Watching the love of his life falling made him leap out of concern for her. It wasn't until he was halfway down that he became aware of what he had done. He screamed at first, but then he got used to it.
Below him, Mercedes deployed her parachute and, to Anthony's eyes, shot straight up. Anthony pulled the ripcord on his chute, but it tore off without deploying. In a state of panic, he pulled the emergency cord. Then the parachute opened easily.
Anthony hit the ground first, followed slowly behind by Mercedes.
"Whoo-hoo!" Anthony screamed. "I'm so glad I did that! That was so much fun!"
"I see you've changed your tune. I like it! Come on, let's get our clue!"
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are currently in second place.)
"The Temple of Mighty Prob? Why does that sound so familiar?" asked Anthony.
"It says here we can see it from our current location."
They looked to the east and saw a large stone building.
"Think that's it?"
"It's worth a shot."
They trekked out into the east.
As they did, VIOLET & KLAUS readied themselves for the jump. As soon as they got the signal that the drop zone was clear, they dove in like Olympic swimmers. They soon found the pressure of the atmosphere pulling them into a flat position. They deployed their chutes and floated safely down.
"Well, it was good for me," Violet said, "was it good for you?"
"It was almost like being back in the spaceship to Mars!" said Klaus.
They hurried over to the clue box and extracted a clue.
(VIOLET & KLAUS are currently in third place.)
"Once there, you will receive your next clue." Violet read.
"Come on, that big thing has to be it!"
They departed.
Back in Earhart City, last place team VIOLET & MICHAEL were told the ground below was clear.
"Ironic," Violet muttered. "The Time Clock was supposed to be our ticket to first place. Instead, we're in last. I just know we're going to look back on this moment and laugh." She giggled a little bit, but Michael remained stone-faced. "Too soon?"
Michael didn't say anything. He tipped over backward and fell from the town as if on accident. Violet quickly dived after him. After falling for about a second and a half, she noticed that her partner had already deployed his chute. She chose to wait another whole second before pulling the cord. She hit the ground first.
"What took you so long?" she asked him when he finally landed.
"Well, excuse me for not wanting to jeopardize my own life!"
Violet rolled her eyes. "There's just no talking to you!"
"Just get the clue!"
"All right, all right!"
(VIOLET & MICHAEL are currently in last place.)
"Yes, we're aware of that, stupid superimposed text!" Michael shouted.
"Michael, who are you yelling at?"
"Huh?"
"Never mind, let's just go."
About that time, ORSON & ROY arrived at the large stone building. They stepped onto the threshold and were greeted by a dark-skinned fellow. He wore a green felt breastplate, a leather loincloth, and a feathery headdress.
"Greetings, racers, and welcome to the Temple of Mighty Prob."
"Thanks," said Roy. "Now, where's our clue?"
"Patience, O one of white feathers, you will get your clue, soon. But first, you must join me in a traditional ritual of Probability."
"Probability?" Orson asked.
"Yes. That is the name of our religion. We are the only monotheistic religion whose deity is not omnipotent."
"What?" asked Roy.
"He says his people worship one god, but that god is not almighty," Orson explained.
"Oh, well, why didn't he say so it the first place?"
"As I was saying, our god Prob is the god of random events. We believe there is no chance, only the will of men, and the will of Prob."
"Uh-huh," Roy said, feigning interest. Then he fake-coughed, and under his cough, he muttered 'crazy'.
"Come, my barnyard friends," said the native. He escorted them to the center of the temple, where there was a table set up, with raised edges and green felt covering it.
"Our most common act of worship is predicting which number will show when the priest (that would be me) throws a die on this sacred altar.
"It's a craps table," Orson pointed out.
"If you want your next clue, it would be wise of you not to poke fun at my beliefs," the priest warned.
"I wasn't poking fun! I'm just saying, I mean, well, you know, I'm just so sorry."
"We believe that four consecutive correct predictions shows Prob's good favor on you. Fortunately, you won't need to be that lucky. Only one correct guess is needed to get your next clue."
"So, you'll roll the die, and we guess what number you'll roll, and if we guess right, we can move on?" Roy asked for clarification. "Sounds simple enough."
"Right. Now, I want you to shout the number you predict while the die is in the air. It's customary."
The priest took the die from a nearby box, with strange glyphs on it. He shook it violently in his hand and threw it in the air.
"Four!" Orson shouted.
The die landed on the altar and rolled all the way across it. It bounced off the wall before coming to a rest. Roy stood on his toes to see which number came up. He saw two spots…then two more.
"Four it is," said the priest. "Congratulations. We hardly ever get it on the first try. Here's your next clue."
"Thank you," said Orson.
(ORSON & ROY are still in first place.)
Roy's eyes popped out of his head when he saw a green envelope inside the clue. "A Fast Forward!" he shouted.
Ed was seen beside one of the grass huts that dotted the jungle.
"This is the second of only two Fast Forwards hidden on the entire race. The first team to find the special Fast Forward clue can skip all tasks and proceed directly to the Pit Stop. Each team can only use one Fast Forward on the race, so they need to decide for themselves the best time to go for it.
"In this Fast Forward, teams must locate this hut, home of the chief of San Ludo. Once there, he will teach them a new game, which they have never heard of before. They must learn quickly, because they must beat the chief at his own game to claim the Fast Forward."
"Let's take it, Ors!" Roy said. "We'll have a lead so great, that no team will be able to pass us."
"I don't know, Roy. The Fast Forward clue doesn't give us any clue as to what the game is. And for all we know, their chief could be an expert at this game."
"Hey, nobody said the Fast Forward would be easy. Besides, if another team tries for it, they'll be in first!"
"But if we get there, and we can't do it, we'll end up in last place, even if we do claim it!"
"Oh, please. For that to happen, we'd have to stay there for at least seven hours!"
Orson sighed. "Fine, we'll try for the Fast Forward."
"Excuse me, you wouldn't happen to know where the chief's hut is, do you?"
The priest told them the chief's hut was the tallest one, and that they would know it by the San Ludan flag overhead. Then the barnyard animals departed.
Just as they did, ANTHONY & MERCEDES arrived at the temple. The priest greeted them and quickly explained the rules.
"I've been a lot of places, but I've never seen a place where shooting dice is considered holy," Mercedes commented.
"Do our customs seem strange to you, O visitor from another planet?"
"Eh, I've seen stranger."
"Very well. Let us begin!"
He threw the die.
"Three!" Anthony shouted.
The die bounced, and bounced again. It finally came to rest on the number…
"Three!" shouted the priest. "How strange! The team ahead of you got it on the first try too. Perhaps Prob is highly pleased with you. Anyway, here's your next clue."
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are currently in second place.)
"Hmm, a Fast Forward." Mercedes observed. "Think Pig Boy and Chicken Boy tried to take it?"
"Highly probable," said Anthony. "So, what's the other task?"
"A Roadblock. It says, 'Who has good eyes?'"
Next was a shot of Ed in the middle of the jungle.
"A Roadblock is a task that only one person may perform, and no person can perform more than six. In this Roadblock, that person must use this GPS receiver to track down a specific location deep in the jungle. At that location, they will find a native with three large shells and a small pea; the equipment needed to play the shell game. The Roadblocker must play and win this game to receive the next clue, but they will not be permitted to open it until they return to the temple."
"I'll do this one," said Mercedes.
"Okay," said Anthony, "but what am I to do while you're gone?"
"I don't know, think of something."
"All right, good luck!"
Mercedes got her device from the ever-present race official. She punched in the coordinates on the clue and set off exploring.
Not long after she departed VIOLET & KLAUS arrived at the temple. They saw Anthony standing there, and were puzzled.
"Where's Mercedes?" they asked.
Anthony told them she was off doing the Roadblock.
The priest escorted the Baudelaires to the altar and gave them the instructions. Then he threw the die.
"Six!" they shouted together.
The die bounced off the altar, teetered on top of the outer edge, then fell to the ground. The priest ran after it.
"Sorry, but the die has to land on the altar, or it doesn't count. My bad!"
He rolled again.
"We still say 6," Violet said.
The die wobbled this way and that, until it came to rest on a number.
"Four. Sorry, bad luck. You two will have to try again."
The orphans huddled closely.
"What do you think, Klaus? I'm leaning toward two myself."
"Sounds good," he answered.
When the priest rolled again, they shouted their choice. The die rolled down the altar and bounced off the edge and it came to rest on…
"Three. Bad luck again."
"Wow, this is going to take a while," Klaus observed. "Hey, Ant! How many tries did it take you?"
"We got it the first time," he said.
"Ho, boy," said Violet.
Meanwhile, Mercedes was still bushwhacking her way through the jungle. The GPS told her she had only 50 more feet to go, when she heard a rustling in the plants nearby.
"What was that?" she asked nobody.
She heard nothing after that, so she shrugged it off as nothing. But she didn't take more that four steps before she heard it again. She whipped her head in the direction of the noise, and there she saw what it was.
It was a Bengal tiger. The sight of its orange and black stripes paralyzed the alien with fear. The tiger bared its teeth and stared at Mercedes.
Okay, don't panic, Mercedes told herself, it could be a nice talking tiger from Wild City.
The beast roared at her.
So much for that notion!
The tiger roared again. Mercedes realized that whatever she did, she would have to do it quickly. But the only thing she could think of was to throw something. She bent down and grabbed a rock. She sized up her target and threw.
The rock struck the big cat right between the eyeballs. It reacted, but held its gaze at the woman.
Oh, great. All I did was piss him off, and now he's going to eat me!
But the tiger turned and sprinted away, never to bother her again.
"Huh. Can't believe that actually worked."
Back at the temple, Violet and Klaus had worked out a new strategy. They decided to stick with two until it came up. The priest was preparing to roll again.
"Let me, guess, two?" he said.
"Um-hmm."
The priest rolled, and the die came up four.
Another roll, same number, and it came up one.
Once more, and he rolled a five.
After that roll, the last place team VIOLET & MICHAEL showed up.
"Oh, great, it's the supers again," Klaus said. "At the rate we're going, we'll never get the next clue."
The priest quickly explained the rules, and he rolled once more.
The orphans stuck with two. The supers called out "Four!"
The die wobbled and rolled, and spun on an axis for a while, before stopping on…
"Six. Bad luck for all."
The racers groaned. Then Violet and Klaus huddled in again.
"This isn't working," said Violet. "We need to switch to another number."
"All right, we'll try three, but if it comes up two, it's on your head."
For the next round, the orphans called out three.
"Two!" said Michael.
The die struck the table, ricocheted of the edge, and came to settle on a number.
"Four. More bad luck."
About that time, ORSON & ROY had located the chief's hut. They were invited inside, and asked to sit.
"So, are you two here for the Fast Forward?"
"Yes, it was something about learning a new game, yes?" asked Orson.
"Ah, that it was, and here it is." He pulled out a few strangely shaped leaves, and showed that they had markings on them. On closer inspection, the animals saw that they were marked with smallish numbers.
"This is a card game, one that is played with only ten cards in its deck. You can see I have here a 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, and 12. You will get five of these cards, and I will get the other five." He shuffled the leaves and dealt them out.
Orson picked up his cards. He had been dealt the 4, 8, 3, 12, and 9.
"Now, the rules. Each round, I will pick a card from my hand, and you will pick a card from your hand. Whoever chooses the dominant number wins the round. After five rounds, we exchange our hands and play five more rounds. Whoever wins six of the ten rounds is the winner. Clear?"
"Crystal clear!" said Roy.
"Here is how we decide which number is dominant. Usually, the higher number will beat the lower number. But, if the lower number is an even factor of the higher number, the lower number wins. And, if the lower number is exactly one less than the higher number, the lower number also wins."
"Okay," said Orson. "It's a little complicated, but I get it. Is there anything else?"
"Nope. That's the whole game. Shall we begin?"
The chief placed one card from his hand face down. Orson studied his hand closely, with Roy looking over his shoulder.
"Go with the 12," the rooster whispered.
"Sounds good," said Orson, and he played the 12.
The chief turned his card up. It was the 2.
"Sorry, but the 2 beats the 12, because it's a factor. One for me."
"I can see that this will take some more thought," Roy muttered.
Back at the Temple of Prob, neither team was having much success.
"Three!" said Violet and Klaus.
"Five!" said Violet and Michael.
"Four," said the priest. "Bad luck once more."
"This is getting old," someone complained.
Before the rolled again, the priest dropped to his knees before the altar and prayed.
"O, Mighty Prob, who controls all randomness, please show favor on one of these teams! Let this cup of suffering pass from me, this I pray. Game over."
(That's how Probibilitans say "amen.")
"Okay. Prob willing, one of you will leave on this roll."
He tossed the die.
"Three!"
"One!"
The die tumbled and spun for a good twenty seconds. The tension mounted. Klaus broke out in a sweat. When the die settled, they saw three pips on the top face.
"YES!" Violet B. screamed. "All right! Yeah! Uh-huh! Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!"
"Congratulations, Violet and Klaus. Here's your next clue."
"Thank you," said Klaus. He tore it open.
(VIOLET & KLAUS are still in third place.)
"The Fast Forward would be a waste of time at this point," Klaus said.
"Okay, but I think you should take this Roadblock."
"No problem."
Klaus grabbed his GPS and went off in search of the hidden shell game.
Speaking of which, Mercedes had found it about the time when the priest cried out to Prob. As the clue said, there was a native there, standing behind a tree stump, with three shells and a small pea ready to go. When he spoke, he spoke very quickly.
"Hi, how are you, nice to meet you, you're with the race, right? Of course you are, you have one of those freaky gadget things that we usually don't have here, but I'm babbling. Anyway, here's the game; there's a little pea under this shell right here. Are you watching, cause you should be watching. Watch closely, don't lose sight of it…" and here he started to move the shells around "see what I'm doing here? I'm trying to confuse you, but you won't get confused. Okay, that's enough, where's the pea?"
Mercedes kept her eye on the shell with the pea the whole time. She knew for certain where it was.
"It's right there."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Maybe I moved it when you weren't looking?"
"You did no such thing."
"How do you know?"
"Because if you did, you wouldn't have mentioned it. You would have just turned up the shell and let me lose. You only said that to try to get me to change my mind, because you know I'm right."
"Clever girl."
He turned up the shell Mercedes had picked. Sure enough, there was the pea.
"Here's your next clue. Why don't you go back to your boyfriend, and open it together?"
She turned around and started to hike back through the jungle.
Meanwhile, back at the Temple of Prob, the supers were just about ready to give up. Seven times, they guessed wrong. If they missed once more, then, well, then it would be eight.
The priest threw the die with a curve this time.
"One!" Violet shouted.
The rocked as it rolled, and it finally came to settle on…
"One! O, glory to Prob! My suffering has passed!"
The priest handed them the last clue he had. Then, he proceeded to dance for joy.
(VIOLET & MICHAEL are currently in last place.)
"I'm pretty sure that there's another team ahead of us trying for the Fast Forward," said Violet.
"Yeah, sounds about right. So, who's got good eyes?" asked Michael.
"I've got better eyesight than you do."
"True, true. Good luck!"
Michael found a spot to sit with Violet B. and Anthony while Violet P. trekked into the thick of San Ludo.
Over in the chief's hut, ORSON & ROY had come back from the brink. They played the 3, and it beat the chief's 6. Orson played an 8, which beat the 5.
The score was two to one, and only two cards left to play that half. On a total lark, Orson played his 9. The chief played a 7.
"Nine beats seven, that's three to one," the chief said.
Unfortunately, Orson's 4 lost to the chief's 10, making it three to two.
The chief gathered the cards and gave Orson the five cards that he had for the first half. Then he took their first half cards.
"This is done to minimize the luck factor," he explained. "You two will have to win three of these next five rounds to claim the Fast Forward."
Orson thought about playing the 2 first, but Roy had a different idea.
"I just figured it out. Whatever number he plays that 9 on will lose to it. Hold on to the deuce until he plays the niner. Then the two can't lose!"
Orson pulled the 5 from his hand and played it. The chief played his 4.
"Four beats the five, because it is exactly one less. It's all tied up now."
It was about this time that Mercedes got back from her expedition into the jungle. Anthony jumped at the sight of her. As soon as they were together, he ripped open the clue.
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are currently in first place, pending the Fast Forward results.)
When he did, some strange metallic coins fell out. He bent down to pick them up, thinking they might be important. Mercedes read the clue.
"It's a Detour, love. Work Hard or Play Hard?"
Ed showed up on screen to explain. He was standing in a patch of…footballs?
"A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this Detour, teams are presented with 1000 chips, San Ludo's currency, and must choose one of two ways to double it. The choice? Work Hard or Play Hard.
"In Work Hard, teams must travel to the best farm in the village, not far from the temple. Once there, they must harvest six bushels full of footballs from their football fields. For their efforts, the farm owner will pay them 1000 chips. This task is quite strenuous, but it's guaranteed.
"In Play Hard, teams will travel a longer distance to this racetrack, and place a bet on one of the many races. If they manage to win 1000 chips, they'll be in good shape. However, if they lose all their money, the must go back to the farm and work a double shift. This task is not physically demanding, but it's a gamble.
"Once teams have doubled the 1000 chips, the must bring it back to the temple, and make of it an offering to Prob, to receive the next clue."
Anthony pondered for a moment.
"I've never really been that good at gambling," he said.
"So, we are going to Work Hard?"
"Yes."
They asked the priest for directions to the farm, and then they departed.
As they did, Klaus located the man with the shells. As soon as Klaus heard his fast talk, he knew he was going to be tricky. He zeroed in on the little pea right away and didn't lose sight of it for a second.
"Okay, that's enough, where's the pea?"
Klaus lifted the shell and revealed the pea.
"Wow, that's twice in a row. You racers are good! Here's your next clue, don't open it until you get back to the temple."
"It's heavier than usual," Klaus noted.
"You see why soon enough. Hut, ho, what's this? Another racer doing the Roadblock?"
Klaus spun around and saw Violet Parr coming the other way.
"Watch this guy," he advised, "he'll trip you up if you're not observant."
"I'll keep that in mind," she answered as he left.
"Hey, how are…"
"Look, can we skip the intro and get to the shell game?"
"Ooh! Feisty! I like that! Okay, watch the pea, you watching the pea? Watch it, here, there, or is it, or no, it's, where's the pea? Did you lose it already? Okay, that's enough, where is it?"
"There," Violet said pointing.
He moved the shell, and there was the pea.
"Hey, how'd you get so good at this game?"
"When you lose two month's allowance to your brother's hustling schemes, you get wise to them."
"Right. Well, here's your next clue, don't open it until you get back to the temple."
"Thanks," she said as she departed.
Meanwhile, ANTHONY & MERCEDES had located the farm where they would perform their Detour. Just like the clue said, there were lots of footballs out in the fields. They were attached to thorny vines, as if they had grown naturally.
"Can I believe what I'm seeing?" asked Mercedes.
"Yep, them footballs is growing right out of the ground," said the farmer. "The soil here is just right for them to grow naturally, so they're of a higher caliber than those factory-made jokes you find elsewhere."
"Amazing!" Anthony mused.
"Yep, shore is. Football season is starting up soon, so these pigskins are ripe for the pickin'! Now, what you guys are gonna want to do is grab the ball right at the root an' jus' yank, real hard like that. Don't pull to softly, or you'll be pulling on it 'til th' end o' time."
"Yeah, I think I understand," said Mercedes. And the two of them went to work.
Over at the chief's hut, it was coming down to the wire…
Orson played a 7, and the chief beat it with his 9. The chief played his 3, and Orson beat it with a 2. It was tied four to four.
"According to my calculations, whichever of us wins the next round is predestined to win the round after that, and thus the game. It all comes down to this."
Orson stared at the 6 and 10 in his hand. By process of elimination, he knew the chief held the 8 and the 12. His 6 would beat the 12, but lose to the 8. His 10 would beat the 8, but lose to the 12.
"Roy, I need your help," Orson said. "Which number do I play?"
"I don't know. This number has always been lucky for me."
"Sounds like a plan," said Orson as he slid his card to the table face down.
The chief smiled smugly. "You do realize that this game is our method of electing our leaders? I got to be chief by being good at this game! I know exactly which card you played!"
The barnyard critters started to sweat.
"You two are desperate to win, so you chose the number that looks more powerful, i.e. the ten! But, all I have to do is lay down my twelve, and your illusion of victory will be shattered!" He played his twelve face-up. "I win!"
"Oh, you do, do you?" Orson asked sarcastically. "You say you know I played the ten. But, do you know with certainty, or were you just guessing?"
"Well, I can't know with 100 percent certainty, but I am confident that you did play the ten."
"But you admit that you could be wrong."
"Yes, there is a possibility that I might be wrong. But, I don't believe I'm wrong, I believe you did play the ten."
Orson smiled. He turned over his leaf. On the face was, not a 10, but a 6!
"Okay," said the chief, "so I was wrong. I made a mistake, and I lost, fair and square."
"Yes!" Orson cheered. Roy and Orson jumped up and down with glee.
"Here's the Fast Forward clue," said the chief. "If this were an election year, you would become the new chief. Lucky for me that it isn't."
The animals weren't listening. They were too busy with the Fast Forward clue.
(ORSON & ROY are indisputably in first place.)
"Congratulations on claiming the Fast Forward…" Roy read.
Having claimed the Fast Forward, Orson and Roy may now skip all tasks and proceed directly to the Pit Stop, the Steps of Knowledge, located behind the temple of Prob.
"Come on, Piggo," said Roy. "The faster we move, the better our lead becomes!"
Orson followed Roy closely.
About that time, while Violet B. was starting to grow impatient, her brother Klaus returned from his long expedition into the jungle. She was so excited to see him that she squealed. Klaus ran to her, and they opened the clue together.
(VIOLET & KLAUS are currently in third place.)
"Whoa!" Klaus said as the chips spilled from the envelope. "Something tells me these have something to do with our next task."
"It's a Detour," Violet told him. "We have to double that money, either by working for it, or by gambling for it."
"What's the work that we have to do?" Klaus wondered.
"It says 'harvest six bushels of footballs', whatever that means."
"Sounds like a more reliable method. Let's do that."
After getting directions from the priest, they set off for the football farm. Not long after that, Violet Parr returned from the Roadblock. Excitedly, Michael grabbed the clue and tore it open.
(VIOLET & MICHAEL are currently in last place.)
"Get those coins, I bet we're going to need them for this next task," Violet commanded.
"The other teams are doing Work Hard. Our only chance to pass them up is to do Play Hard."
"Mike, I don't know that we should. After all, if we miss, we'll be severely disadvantaged, if not eliminated. Besides, if we do Work Hard, we might be able to pass them up."
"Oh, all right," Michael said begrudgingly.
They got their directions and were off.
After all teams behind them left, ORSON & ROY made it back to the temple. They ducked behind it and found a set of steps leading to a platform. On the platform, Ed stood next to a native, near a sign that read "San Ludo."
"These must be the Steps of Knowledge," Roy muttered.
They were about to mount the steps when the native called out to them.
"Halt, intruders! Retreat ye to the ground below!"
Orson and Roy looked at each other.
"Maybe we better do as he says, Roy."
They did so.
"In San Ludo," the native continued, "we cherish these Steps of Knowledge. Only those who have great intelligence may ascend them and dwell at their peak. What arrogance makes you think you fit that description?"
"Uh, um, we kinda need up there so we can check into the Pit Stop."
"To prove himself worthy to stand here, your beloved host had to answer three riddles about things you racers have seen in Dreamland. Before you come to the Pit Stop, you must do the same."
"Another task?" Orson asked. "Oh, well, let's get this over with."
"First question: According to your clues, what are the dimensions of the Big Big Mall?"
"Oh, I remember it's, um, oh, ugh…" Roy mumbled.
"It's six miles long, four and a half miles wide, and seven stories tall!" said Orson.
"I knew that!" said Roy.
"That's correct, you may take one step up."
They did.
"Next question, which sector of Dreamland is the sector where nightmares come from?"
"Oh, um, that one with the Halloween sounding name," said Orson, "oh, what was that place called, umm…"
"Hallow's End!" Roy shouted.
"Correct, take another step up. One more correct answer and you can be checked in."
"Bring it on."
"True or False, in Wild City, automobiles are permitted inside the city limit?"
"False!"
"Correct, get your worthy butts up here!"
The animals jumped onto the top platform with overwhelming pride. They planted both feet on the mat.
"Welcome to San Ludo," the native said.
"Thank you," said Orson.
"Orson and Roy," Ed said, "you are team number one!"
(ORSON & ROY 1ST PLACE.)
"Yes, baby!" Roy exulted. "I told you that Fast Forward was worth it!"
"And I have more good news for you," Ed added. "As the winners of this leg of the race, you guys have won something you desperately need!"
"What's that?" asked Orson.
"The producers were listening in on the call you made in Earhart City. They know that your barn has been trashed. So, we're paying for a brand new barn to be built on top of your existing one. You've won a new barn, courtesy of the Amazing Race!"
"Cool!" Roy said.
"It irks me a little that you guys listened in on my private conversation, but I am thankful for the new barn."
About that time, the Baudelaire orphans arrived at the football farm. Their reaction was the same as the hitchhikers', who, by the way, were still there. The farmer quickly briefed them on the job ahead, and they got right to work.
"Only in Dreamland…" Klaus mused as he picked footballs from the vine.
"I wonder if any other sports equipment grows in San Ludo?" Violet asked nobody.
"The guy mentioned a baseball orchard he keeps in the off season," Mercedes said.
"I think I saw a polyhedral die bush on the way over here," said Anthony.
About then, last place team VIOLET & MICHAEL arrived. They were briefed on the assignment, and they got to work. In that span of time, the hitchhikers had picked their fourth bushel of footballs.
"Huh," Michael said out of nowhere. "Has anybody seen Orson and Roy?"
Nobody did.
"Think they got the Fast Forward?" Anthony asked.
"Maybe they did," said Violet B.
"Then we're sunk," said Violet P.
"I wouldn't worry about it," said Mercedes. "Historically, legs that have had Fast Forwards on them have been non-elimination."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Okay," Anthony said, "that's number six. We're out of here!"
The farmer paid them the 1000 chips, and the hitchhikers dashed back to the temple.
The orphans narrowed their eyes at the supers, and vice versa. They could see it was going to be a tight race to the Pit Stop.
Michael got down on his knees and picked with both hands. Violet P. did the same. The Baudelaires tried to come up with a way to pick entire vines at once. The net result of this arms race was a dead heat. They were picking bushels at an equal rate. After fifty minutes, they were tied at five.
Meanwhile, Anthony and Mercedes presented the 2000 chips to the priest as an offering to Prob. They knelt, and held the money aloft. The priest took it from their open hands. Then he placed it on the altar (the same one from before), and said a prayer over it. Then, from behind his felt breastplate, he handed them the next clue.
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are still in second place.)
"Make your way to the next Pit Stop…"
Teams must now make their way around to the rear of the temple, where they will find the Steps of Knowledge. Once there, they must answer three questions about things they have seen so far on the race. After giving three correct answers, they will reach the top, and the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in here may be eliminated.
"Come on, let's go!" Anthony said.
They dashed out of the temple and ran around to the rear. There, they found the Steps of Knowledge. They called out to the quizmaster that they were ready for the first question.
"Very well, your first question…What percentage of the Eastern Sea is covered by the Lone Star Cove?"
"Eight percent!" Mercedes shouted.
"Correct, step up one level please. Okay, next question…What was the name of the city floating in the sky before Amelia Earhart landed there?"
"Sky City!" said Anthony.
"Correct, move on up. Okay, last question…in what year was Peach Town really built?"
"2004!" they shouted together.
"Correct! Come on up to the top level and be checked in properly."
They crossed the plateau and stood on the mat.
"Anthony and Mercedes, you're team number two!"
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES 2ND PLACE.)
"All right! We're still in it!" Anthony cheered.
"So, Orson and Roy got the Fast Forward?"
"Yep."
Back in the football fields, the two teams still racing had just finished their sixth bushel each at about the same time.
"Well, this one was a little too close to call," said the farmer. "I guess I have now choice but to pay you both at the same time." And that's what he did.
With 2000 chips each, both teams ran back to the temple. VIOLET & MICHAEL were in the lead at first.
Seeing that they were behind, VIOLET & KLAUS decided to do something about it. They sprinted back through the jungle, taking shortcuts whenever they could. In time, they surged into the lead.
The orphans got to the temple a fraction of a second ahead of the supers. Once they stopped panting, the priest took their offerings and handed them the next clue at the same time. He did this because he wanted to see a competitive footrace to the Pit Stop.
The supers were out of the building two whole seconds ahead of the orphans. However, in running around to the back, Violet and Michael's high momentum forced them to take a longer curved path. Violet and Klaus were able to pass them on the proverbial inside track. But because the quizmaster halted the orphans at the base of the Steps of Knowledge, the supers were able to catch up.
"Well, well, well, it looks like we have a tie," said the quizmaster. "Well, the producers put this leg's Pit Stop up here so that there would be no ties. I will ask you questions about things you have seen on the race. Only one team will be permitted to answer each question. Three correct answers and you may be checked in. Raise your hand if you want to answer, I will call on you. May the smarter team win!"
"We plan to," said Michael.
"First question, what was the name of the parachute store you visited to start this leg?"
Klaus's hand shot up like a rocket. He was called on.
"Paul's Parachute Palace!"
"Correct, take one step up. Okay, next question, which item did you purchase from the Hallow's End Covered Bazaar that was not used in Ezmarelda's spell?"
Violet P. was called on.
"The Mountain Dew!"
"Correct. Score is now tied one to one. Next question, how do you pronounce the name of the restaurant in Wild City where a Detour was held?"
Michael raised his hand.
"Zoh-DEE-ay,"
"Correct, step on up. You two need only one more correct answer to be checked in. Next question, which of the race locations did not feature a Roadblock?"
Violet P. raised her hand first.
"Fictograph City?"
"That is incorrect."
Michael raised his hand.
"Sorry, but your team has been locked out of this question."
Violet B. raised her hand, and she was called on.
"The Big Big Mall?"
"Correct, step on up! Now THIS is what we San Ludans like to see! It's a dead heat, next question wins the coveted third place slot, and loser gets saddled with last place. Here we go with the next question."
The quizmaster took a deep breath, then asked…
"The Macroatia leg took place entirely in the house of a single mother. What is the first name of her infant son?"
All four of them raised their hands.
"I'm sorry, but the kid in the glasses was the quickest. What's your answer?"
"Tommy!" shouted Klaus.
"Is that your final answer?"
"Yes," he said, dragging it out unconfidently.
The quizmaster said nothing for what seemed like a long time.
"That's correct! You two get on up here and get checked in properly!"
They vaulted onto the plateau and stood on the mat excitedly.
"Violet and Klaus, you are team number three!"
(VIOLET & KLAUS 3RD PLACE.)
"And you guys are still in the Amazing Race."
"Whew!" Klaus said. "I guess it pays to pay attention!"
As they left, a depressing interlude played in the background. The quizmaster gave Violet and Michael an easy question so they could check in.
"Welcome to San Ludo," he added somberly.
"Thanks, I guess," said Michael.
"Violet and Michael, you're the last team to arrive."
(VIOLET & MICHAEL LAST PLACE.)
"Yeah, we know," said Violet.
"And I am sorry to tell…the other teams that this is the third of four pre-determined non-elimination legs, and that you guys are still in the Amazing Race!"
"What's that, what's that?" Michael said.
"He said we're still in the race!" Violet told him.
They started to dance and hug and cry for joy at this glorious second chance.
"Okay, okay, that's enough," said Ed. "You're forgetting the penalty that comes with this second chance."
"Huh? Oh, right."
"Right, you need to give me all the cash on your person, as well as all your belongings save your passports, the card you purchase airline tickets with, and the clothes on your back. At the start of the next leg, you will not be receiving any money."
"I didn't mind incurring the penalty," Violet told the camera. "I was just happy that we were still in the race. We can overcome this; it's been done before. We just have to have the mindset of the hippies, BJ and Tyler, and we'll win that fictional million!"
"I can't help but feel like I'm being pitied," Michael said in his confessional. "I know this was a pre-determined non-elimination leg, but I still feel like I should have been eliminated. We're in last place with no money and no clean clothes. If it were just I, I'd throw in the towel, but Violet has a positive outlook. She seems to think that we still have a chance."
ON THE NEXT AMAZING RACE: DREAMLAND…
Teams will fly to the fairy tale kingdom of Purplewood. Will they have the courage of a knight in shining armor and finish first? Or will an eating challenge prove to be the final Roadblock? Stay tuned and find out!
(A/N: The game that Orson and Roy play in the Fast Forward is not mine. It belongs to Sid Sackson, and it is called "Divide and Conquer.")