(A/N: Forgive me if this last chapter isn't up to par with the others. At this point in time, I'm running on fumes, so to speak.)
The scene opened with a panoramic shot of the eleven teams at the start of the race.
"This season on The Amazing Race: Dreamland…" Ed said in a voice-over.
"GO!"
"Eleven teams set out in a race around the fictional universe known as Dreamland. Some teams surged ahead, while others fell behind. Along the way, eight teams were eliminated."
We see clips of those teams getting eliminated sequentially.
"Hank & Peggy, Zack & Cody, Hal & Malcolm, Mako & Rei, Paul & Meist, Marty & Jennifer, Mike & Sulley, Violet & Michael…I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the race."
"Now, waiting here at the Laughland Museum of Humor are the three remaining teams…
"Currently in first place are ANTHONY & MERCEDES, dating couple from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy…"
"Oh, we're playing to win now!" says Anthony. "The time for mercy is over!"
"We may have been buddies with the Baudelaires," says Mercedes, "but this is for all the marbles. If they fall, we're going to leave them behind!"
"In second place are ORSON & ROY, best friends from U.S. Acres…"
"We're not holding anything back!" says Roy. "It's all or nothing! We're going to leave it on the field!"
"I never imagined I'd make it to the final three," says Orson, "but now that Roy and I have, I'm not going to give an inch!"
"And in third place are VIOLET & KLAUS, siblings from A Series of Unfortunate Events…"
"We may be in last place, but that's going to change!" vows Violet. "We're going to work every angle to our advantage!"
"Mark my words, we are going to give this last leg 110 percent!" says Klaus. "The producer better make that check out to Violet and Klaus Baudelaire!"
"Each team feels confident that they will win the Fictional Million, but only one will cross the finish line first, and we are about to find out who, right now!
"Anthony and Mercedes, who were first to arrive at 7:00 AM, will depart at 7:00 PM."
It was almost sunset, and the hitchhikers were standing outside the museum. At the tick of seven o'clock, Mercedes ripped open her clue.
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are first to depart.)
"Make your way back to the airport…"
Teams must now travel back to the airport, and locate the helicopter-landing pad. Once there, they will receive further instructions.
"…You will have 25 cents for this leg of the race," Mercedes finished.
"Yippee," said Anthony sarcastically.
As they departed, they debated about whether or not to get a cab.
"One practical joke is practically nothing, right?" said Anthony.
"It's not the joke, it's the humiliation. We're not getting a cab."
"Then what are we supposed to do, walk there?"
"No," said Mercedes. "We'll take the bus, because they take cash."
"Do you even know the bus routes here?"
"All I know is that Route 1 goes to the airport, which is where we need to go."
"Still, I think getting a cab would be faster."
"We can make up our lost time at the airport, where we'll all be equalized."
"Hmm. Sounds logical."
So, they stood by the bus stop for route number 1. Meanwhile…
(ORSON & ROY are second to depart.)
"…Once at the landing pad, await further instructions…" read Orson.
"Come on, Piggo, this is it!" Roy shouted.
They ran as fast as they could. Unlike the hitchhikers, they got a cab. Being cartoons, the idea of being pranked didn't faze them, even when the prank turned out to be a zapping pen.
"To the airport, and step on it!"
"You got it, dude."
The cabbie burned rubber.
When the barnyard critters were about halfway to the airport, Bus Number 1 arrived and picked up Anthony and Mercedes. At the same time, the last place team departed.
(VIOLET & KLAUS are last to depart.)
"…You will have 25 cents for this leg of the race," read Violet.
"Huh. I guess they weren't planning on making this leg easy."
"Come on, let's go!"
Now, like the hitchhikers, the Baudelaires had had enough with the pranks of Laughland cabbies. There was a bicycle shop across the street from the museum, so they decided to "rent" a tandem bike. They promised the shopkeeper that he would get the bike back if he let them have it for a large discount. He agreed, and they pedaled away.
"Klaus, how are we supposed to return this thing? Odds are we're going to leave Laughland once we get to the airport."
"Relax, Violet. I've got it all figured out."
"You'd better."
Given the expedience of their taxi driver, it was no surprise that ORSON & ROY got to the airport first.
"Thanks, man," said Roy. "You may have just written us the million dollar check."
"Happy to help!"
"Okay, we need to find the helicopter pad," said Orson.
Beyond the fence, Roy saw three large twin-rotor helicopters. He pointed this out to his swine friend, saying "Maybe it's over there?"
They ran to the gate, and when they told the guard they were with the race, he let them in. They got to the pad, where the ever-present race official greeted them.
"Okay, you are going to board one of these three choppers, all of which will take you within a certain range of Dreamland Omnitransport Terminal. You will get your next clue while in flight, understand?"
"Yeah, we understand," said Orson.
They climbed into the cabin of the middle chopper and strapped themselves in, sort of. There weren't any actual seats, so they tied themselves to the wall.
"Well, I'm downright comfy," said Roy, "how about you?"
As their craft took off, they were relived that their pilot wasn't one of the living laughs.
Some time later, ANTHONY & MERCEDES' bus arrived at the airport. It dropped them off at the terminal. Call it woman's intuition if you want to, but somehow Mercedes knew this wasn't the right place to be. She dragged her boyfriend around to the outer fence and found the gate.
"Oh, racers, eh? You're expected, come on in!"
They got on board one of the remaining choppers.
"Hmm, looks like military surplus to me," Anthony commented.
"It is military surplus," said the pilot.
"Well, that explains a lot."
They took off soon enough.
It was a long time later that VIOLET & KLAUS arrive on their tandem bike.
"You still haven't told me how you're planning to return the bike, Klaus," said Violet.
"Relax, sister, I know what I'm doing." He scanned the area for a drifter and found one. "Hey, dude, wanna make ten bucks?"
"Sure!"
Klaus asked if he knew where the bike shop was.
"Yeah, why?"
"Take this bike back to him, and tell him the Baudelaires sent you. He'll know who we are."
Klaus slid the money into his hand and he took off. Then, the orphans boarded the last helicopter and took off for the DOT.
But then, a strange wind blew, and all three teams were blown of course, resulting in them drifting endlessly through the skies of Dreamland.
Sorry, just seeing if you were still paying attention.
Because ORSON & ROY departed first, they reached the target area first. By "target area", I mean the airspace their copter had to be in before they got the next clue. The co-pilot handed them the famous yellow envelope.
(ORSON & ROY are currently in first place.)
"A Detour, this early?" Roy asked. "Hmm. Across or Down?"
Ed was shown inside another helicopter to explain.
"A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this Detour, teams must choose between Across and Down.
"If teams pick Across, their chopper will set down right where they are, and teams will have to hike 6.2 miles through the desert to get to the DOT, where their next clue is waiting for them. There's nothing frightening about this task, but the trek will be arduous, and it may take a while.
"If, however, teams pick Down, the chopper pilot will fly straight to the DOT without changing altitude. Then, racers will have to skydive to the ground in order to retrieve their next clue. This task is frightening, but it's not physical, and teams with courage can finish it fast."
The pig and the rooster looked at each other, with only one thought on their minds.
"We have to do Down!"
"I need confirmation," said the co-pilot, "are you in fact choosing Down?"
"We confirm our decision, we're going Down."
"Roger that. Captain, take 'em to the drop site!"
While they did that, ANTHONY & MERCEDES arrived at the target area.
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are currently in second place.)
"Let's do Down, bring it on!" shouted Anthony.
Mercedes was taken aback by his gusto in saying that. "I've never seen this side of you before!"
"I loved skydiving in Earhart City, why should this be any different?"
"I have never been more attracted to you than I am right now!"
After confirming to the pilot that they were going to jump out of the chopper, the hitchhikers kissed passionately to pass the time.
As both teams were still en route to the DOT, last place team VIOLET & KLAUS arrived at the target area.
(VIOLET & KLAUS are currently in last place.)
Yeah, I already said that.
(Oh, great, now the narrator is staring with me! I'm going to find a new job when this is over.)
"Detour," read Klaus. "The other teams are likely doing Down, so that's what we have to do."
Violet simply nodded.
As soon as the orphans confirmed their Detour choice, the chopper that carried the barnyard animals reached the drop site. They strapped on surplus army parachutes, and waited for the command.
"JUMP!"
They did.
And the feeling was just as exhilarating as it was back in Earhart City. The only real difference was there weren't any sights for them to enjoy on the way down. It was nighttime, so they couldn't see anything anyway, but even if they could, there wasn't anything to see. But, I digress.
Anyway, they touched down right next to the clue box, just outside the terminal. Orson reached in and grabbed the clue.
(ORSON & ROY are still in first place.)
"Fly to your final destination, Fictograph City…"
Teams must now book passage on a commercial flight to Fictograph City, where the race began. When they land, teams will have to find this marked abandoned warehouse. Inside, there is an elaborate labyrinth that teams will have to navigate to find the next clue. Along the way, they must collect 14 different cards. They will need those cards for the next task.
"We're going back where we started!" Orson said.
"Hurry, we need to find the best flight!" Roy shouted.
They ran into the terminal and didn't stop until they were inside the airport. They ran to the first ticket counter they saw.
"Excuse me, but when is your earliest flight into Fictograph City?"
"Oh, wow, Fictograph City, huh? There's a terrible storm in the capital right now. Nothing's going to land there until tomorrow."
"So, the absolute earliest flight that can get us there is…what?"
"Oh, that would be the 610, which lands in FTC at five in the morning tomorrow."
"Great, we'll take it!"
(ORSON & ROY – First on Flight 610.)
While they were inside getting their plane tickets, the hitchhikers touched down near the clue box. Mercedes ripped open the clue.
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are still in second place.)
"Hmm. Back to Fictograph. How typical," Mercedes mused.
"Mer, now is not the time for your commentary. We gotta get us primo air tix!"
"We gotta what?"
"Just follow me!"
This time, it was the red-haired alien's turn to be dragged by her partner. Anthony found a ticket counter quickly.
"A storm? Not good. Are you sure there's no way we can get into Fictograph City before five in the morning?"
"If you really need to get there right now, you could rent a car and drive there," the ticket taker suggested.
"No, we can't. The clue said we had to fly, and we don't want to get in trouble."
"So, do you want me to book the tickets or what?"
"Yeah, go ahead."
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES – Second on Flight 610.)
Mercedes blew a flyaway hair out of her eye. "At this rate, all six of us will be even once again."
"That's the beauty of the race," said Anthony.
"Yeah, it's beautiful all right. I'm ready for other beauty now."
Meanwhile, you guessed it, Violet Baudelaire and her brother Klaus landed outside the DOT and got the next clue.
(VIOLET & KLAUS are still in last place.)
"Okay, back to start for us, let's go!"
They ran into the airport.
"What do you mean there's nothing landing in Fictograph City until tomorrow?"
"Sir, there's no need to yell. Wait, are you two with the race?"
"Yeah, why?"
"You're in luck! The other teams are on this same flight too. You'll be all caught up!"
"Yeah, sure, thanks."
(VIOLET & KLAUS – Last on Flight 610.)
"Well, at this point, I suppose it's anyone's ballgame."
All teams are now flying together to Fictograph City, capital of Dreamland, and a city devoted to literature. When they land, they must locate this abandoned warehouse, and navigate the maze within to find the next clue. They must also collect 14 cards needed for the next task.
Now that the race is coming back to Fictograph City, we can finally get a good look at it. It looks like just about every other city you or I have ever seen. But instead of listening to music or playing video games, most of the citizens are reading books by the light of the street.
The plane landed smoothly, and the three teams tore out of there. ORSON & ROY were off first, followed by VIOLET & KLAUS, and lastly, ANTHONY & MERCEDES. They all reached the curb within a few minutes of each other.
"TAXI!" Orson shouted.
A smallish cab pulled up. The cabbie seemed to recognize the barnyard animals.
"Don't I know you guys from somewhere?" she asked. "Didn't I give you a lift to the airport two weeks ago?"
"Yeah, I think you did." Roy said as he and Orson got in.
"Huh. Small world."
Soon after she departed, another cab pulled up. This one offered to take the orphans.
"Thanks, could you take us to this address?" Klaus said pointing to the clue.
"Why would you want to go there? That place is abandoned!"
"Not today, it ain't."
A few seconds passed before another cab offered to take the hitchhiker team.
"Go very, very fast, please," Mercedes pleaded.
"Sure thing, dollface."
Somewhere up the road, Orson & Roy's cabbie noticed something.
"Aw, man, it was full last night!"
"What's going on?" Orson asked.
"I'm really sorry, but I have to pull over and fill my car up with gas."
Roy was livid. "This isn't happening. Not now. Not on the last leg. NOT ON THE LAST LEG OF THE RACE!!"
"Roy, chill out. There's nothing we can do about it now."
As the cabbie fueled her vehicle, the other two teams passed by the service station. They paid no heed to the ailing animals, but Orson and Roy watched them pass by, and looked on them with contempt.
"Roy?"
"Yeah, Ors?"
"Remember when, at the start of the race, I told you no dirty tricks?"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think it's time for you to forget I said that."
Roy grinned and arched his eyebrows. Not that he had eyebrows, but, um, you know what I mean.
As soon as the cab was refueled, they took off as fast as the law would permit. However, it just wasn't fast enough.
VIOLET & KLAUS's cab got to the warehouse first. They thanked him for the lift and paid him his deuce.
"Okay, so, there's going to be a maze inside the building," Violet reiterated, "and we need to navigate it to find the next clue and 14 cards for the next task."
Klaus opened the door, and he saw a white plasterboard wall staring him in the face. On the wall were three medium-sized pieces of cardboard, all of which said "Adventure" on them.
"Think that's one of those cards we have to find?" he asked nobody in particular.
"Maybe." Violet snatched it off the wall, and escorted her brother deeper into the maze.
When they came to a fork in the road, Klaus suggested they split up and check out both paths. Violet agreed.
"Find anything?" Klaus shouted.
"I found a card that says "Walled Kingdom," but it's at a dead end!"
"Okay, bring it here!"
"Where are you?"
"Follow my voice!"
Unfortunately, Violet was not very good at mazes. Come to think of it, neither was Klaus.
While they were busy groping the walls in search of each other, ANTHONY & MERCEDES arrived and entered the maze.
"Okay, if we hug the left-hand wall," said Anthony, "we should be able to cover the whole maze."
"I'll grab the cards and the clue when we pass," Mercedes said.
"Hey, Klaus!" Violet shouted. "Did you hear them?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Stay where you are, I'll come find you!"
She leaned up against the left-hand wall and followed it to where her brother was. Along the way, she picked up three more cards, "Western", "Romance", and "Horror".
"Hmm." Anthony said. "It seems all of these cards have different genres of fiction on them."
About that time, ORSON & ROY's cab finally arrived. They dashed inside.
"Is everyone else here already?" Roy asked.
"Yeah, we're here!"
"Excellent," the rooster whispered.
"Do you have a plan?" Orson asked.
"Oh, yes. You run through the maze, while I deploy Weasel Removal Plan 31B…The False Shortcut."
Orson grabbed his first card while Roy set to work. He cackled with glee at his own evil genius.
Elsewhere in the maze, Violet had finally located her brother Klaus. She gripped him in a tight embrace.
"Get a hold of yourself, it wasn't that bad!" he chided.
"Sorry. Anyway, I found the next clue on my way over here, and five more of those card things."
"Okay, so that makes eight, put together with my six, is fourteen. That's everything, let's get out of here!"
"Hey, wait, where are you going? This is the way out!"
"No, I think it's this way!"
"Oh, great. We're lost. No doubt about it, we're lost!"
As they argued, the hitchhikers passed by them, still hugging the wall.
"Let's tail them," Violet whispered after they passed.
"Great idea," Klaus said.
Meanwhile, Roy was looking for his partner.
"Orson! I've finished with you-know-what. Where are you?"
"I'm over here. Follow the sound of my voice."
The sound came from behind the rooster. He spun around and saw Orson standing a foot in front of him.
"Oh, real mature, Piggo. Did you get everything?"
"I got about nine or ten cards, but I still haven't found the clue."
"Then I guess we have to go back into the maze, huh?"
"Looks that way."
They trudged back in.
Time passed…
"Here we go, 'Gaming'," said Anthony. "That makes fourteen. Still got that clue, Mer?"
"Check."
"Okay, here's the…huh? What's this?"
Anthony saw a tunnel labeled "Shortcut," right next to the exit.
"Was that always there?" Mercedes asked.
"I don't think so," Anthony said.
"Wait a minute!" Mercedes knelt down and ran her finger against the sign, causing it to deteriorate. "It's a cartoon!"
"Roy did this! That underhanded fowl!"
"Ant, chill. We'll get him back by winning the race."
"Right, let's go."
They left by the true exit, and opened their clue.
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are currently in first place.)
"Make your way to the Central Library of Dreamland…"
Teams must now make their way 20 blocks to the Central Library of Dreamland, the largest library in the fictional universe. Once there, they must locate the media center on the fifth floor to find their next clue.
The hitchhikers tried to hail a cab, but none came. Seconds later, the Baudelaires reached the exit. They weren't fooled by Roy's trap, because they heard Mercedes investigate it.
(VIOLET & KLAUS are currently in second place.)
"…Find the media center to get your next clue," read Klaus.
"Taxi!" Violet hailed. Not to be outdone, Anthony shouted louder. These two teams competed fiercely for a cab that hadn't even arrived yet.
But, eventually, a cab did arrive.
"Okay," said Mercedes. "There's only one fair way to decide who gets this cab…rock, paper, scissors."
"Agreed," said Klaus. "One round, winner take all."
"Very well."
"1, 2, 3, shoot!"
Both sides threw scissors. Without a word, they repeated the action.
"1, 2, 3, shoot!"
This time, the Baudelaires won it with paper.
"So long, losers!" Violet taunted as their cab drove off into the sunrise.
Mercedes was okay about losing the cab, until Violet had to rub it in like that.
Back inside, the animals were still looking for the clue.
"Did you check that hall?" Orson asked.
"No," said Roy.
"Well, get over there and check it out!"
"I'm going, I'm going!"
Roy strolled down that way until he came to a dead end.
"See? I told you there was nothing here!"
"Of course there's nothing there, the clue is over here."
"Yeah, but, I, uh, oh never mind. Let's just get out of here."
They navigated the maze right up to the exit.
"Hey, look, a shortcut!" Orson observed.
"Orson, no!" Roy shouted, but it was too late. The pig had gone through the tunnel. Two seconds later, Orson reemerged, covered in snow, and with icicles on his snout.
"You had to make it dead-end in Siberia, didn't you?"
"Uh, yeah, sorry about that. Hey, wait, how did you get from one end of the tunnel and back in only two seconds?"
Orson shrugged. "You built the tunnel, you tell me."
Roy shook his head. They went outside and opened their clue.
(ORSON & ROY are currently in last place.)
"Okay, the library," read Orson. "We need a cab again."
Just then, another cab pulled up to the curb. The animals didn't notice as the hitchhikers stepped in, and it was gone before they even looked up.
"Huh. I wonder where the other teams are?" Roy asked.
"Probably still in the maze," Orson answered.
They got into a checkered cab thinking that they were in first place. But, we know that in fact VIOLET & KLAUS are in first place. Their cab was the first to arrive at the library.
"My, what a beautiful building this place is, especially in the sunrise!"
But the driver's comment fell on deaf ears, as the Baudelaires ran inside. Not long after that, ANTHONY & MERCEDES' cab pulled up to the front door.
While the orphans studied the library directory in the lobby, Klaus noticed the other team coming in.
"Vi, you go that way, and I'll go this way, so they can't follow us. We'll meet on the fifth floor and go from there."
"Gotcha!"
They split up, hoping to fool the hitchhikers. Unfortunately, they got wise to their plan quickly.
"If we can find a more direct route," said Anthony; "we can beat them to the media center."
"Here," said Mercedes, pointing to the directory. "That staircase will take us within spitting distance of our next clue."
"Then, what are we doing here?"
They sprinted up the steps as fast as their legs would permit.
Meanwhile, Violet had taken the elevator to the fifth floor. Klaus was at the other end of the building, running up unconnected escalators. They got to the fifth floor within about fifteen minutes of each other, not knowing where the other was, or even where the media center was.
Lost and separated again, this setback for the orphans was just the open door Ant & Mer needed to move into first. As planned, the stairwell they climbed brought them right to the media center. Mercedes grabbed the clue from the box and ripped it open.
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are currently in first place.)
"Ah, the final Roadblock," she said. "Who has better memory?"
Ed was shown strolling through the media center.
"A Roadblock is a task that only one person may perform, and no person can perform more than six on the entire race. In this Roadblock, that person must take the fourteen cards collected from the maze, and bring them to one of these three pegboards.
"On the boards are the names of the twelve sectors of Dreamland visited on the race. Each sector represents a different genre of fiction. The twelve genres represented are on the cards, along with two decoys. The player must match each sector with its genre to receive the next clue. If even one genre is wrong, changes must be made until all are correct."
"I've already done six, so you have to do this one, Mer."
"Okay, where are those cards?"
They dug into their packs for the cards, and when they had all fourteen, Mercedes dashed in. She located her board right away. Just like the clue said, it had the names of all the places they visited: Cluedoville, Wild City, the Big Big Mall, the Eastern Sea, Hallow's End, Peach Town, New Chicago, Macroatia, Earhart City, San Ludo, Purplewood, and Laughland.
Mercedes looked through her cards and saw that she had the following: Adventure, Comedy, Domestic Drama, Fable of Size, Fairy Tale, Gaming, Horror, Mystery, Romance, Science Fiction, Talking Animals, Tragedy, Walled Kingdom, and Western.
"Okay," she muttered, "let's start with the easy ones." She quickly matched Horror to Hallow's End, Western to Peach Town, Sci-Fi to New Chicago, Fairy Tale to Purplewood, and Comedy to Laughland.
About that time, Violet and Klaus had found each other, thanks to a systematic search on the part of the latter. They ran to the media center as quickly as they could.
(VIOLET & KLAUS are currently in second place.)
"It's a Roadblock, you have to do this, Vi."
Violet grabbed the cards and ran inside. She was escorted to a different board, where she couldn't cheat by looking at Mercedes' board.
Speaking of whom, Mercedes had confidently matched two other genres (Talking Animals to Wild City and Gaming to San Ludo). But she was still having trouble with the genre that Cluedoville represented.
"Hmm. Well, I'll just put Romance there for now, and maybe I'll figure it out. Now, what in the name of Zarquon is a 'Fable of Size'? Size? Ohhhhh, now I get it!"
She placed Fable of Size under Macroatia.
While this was going on, ORSON & ROY finally caught up with the other teams. What, did you think I forgot about them? They were close behind Ant & Mer all along.
(ORSON & ROY are still in last place.)
"Huh," Orson said. "I can't make this compute. You and I have each done only five Roadblocks, and this is the last one, so it should make twelve."
"You're forgetting," said Roy, "that we skipped the Roadblock in San Ludo, due to using the Fast Forward."
"Oh, right. So, do you want to do this one?"
"Nah, that's okay. You go ahead."
Orson ran inside with the cards and set to work. Like the others, he placed the obvious ones first.
"Okay, if the Eastern Sea is any of these genres, it has to be Adventure." He matched the two. "Six down, six to go."
"Mr. Official, sir, I'm ready!" said Mercedes.
The official came over and examined her board.
"Sorry, but you have some wrong."
"Can you tell me how many I have wrong?"
"No."
Planet of Hell, Mercedes thought. Well, I know I have Cluedoville wrong.
Meanwhile, Violet was down to the last two locations, the Big Big Mall and Earhart City.
"Hmm, I have Romance, Domestic Drama, Tragedy, and Walled Kingdom. I know neither of those two are Romance or Tragedy. But which is Domestic Drama, and which is Walled Kingdom?" Violet started to pace.
"Well, I suppose by a large stretch of the imagination, Earhart City could be considered a Walled Kingdom. I'll just try it this way, and if I'm wrong, I'll know where. Oh, Mister Official, sir!"
The official looked it over.
"You're correct."
"Yes!"
"Shh!"
"Sorry!"
"Here's your clue."
"Thank you!"
She ran into the hallway and met with her brother before opening the clue.
(VIOLET & KLAUS are currently in first place.)
"This is NOT the final clue," Klaus read. "The final clue is located behind 'The Tale of Genji', in this library."
Teams must now scour the library stacks to find a book entitled "The Tale of Genji," written by Japanese author Murasaki Shikibu. Written in 1015 AD, it is believed by many to be the world's first novel. Behind the library's copy of this ancient text is this season's final clue.
"I saw a computerized card catalog on my way up," said Violet. "This way!"
Klaus took off after his sister.
Meanwhile, Orson finished with his match up, and got the next clue.
(ORSON & ROY are currently in second place.)
"Okay, finding a book, this should be easy for you, Ors," Roy cheered.
"Not really, I've never had to look for a book in the library before!"
"You're joking."
"I'm afraid not."
"Well, we'd better figure it out, before we end up back in last place!"
They ran in a different direction.
Back in the media center, Mercedes was still struggling. She finally placed Mystery under Cluedoville, though she was sure that was wrong, and called the official over.
"You're correct, and here's your next clue."
"Really? Cluedoville was a mystery thing?"
"Yep, now, get out of here."
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are currently in last place.)
"Huh. Wasn't a damn thing mysterious about that place. Who knew?"
"Mer, stop babbling about it and help me find the card catalog!"
"I think I remember where it is."
But by the time they got there, Violet and Klaus were already there looking it up. Quiet as a mouse, Anthony slipped in behind them and looked at the screen.
"Hey, what do you think you're doing?" Klaus said in a loud whisper. "You can't copy off of our screen! Go get your own!"
"I'm going, I'm going!" Anthony shout-whispered back.
He went back to Mercedes, and found that she was seated at the computer, already searching for the book in question.
"Okay, it's on the first floor, in the fiction section. We'll find it under the author's name."
"Great! All we have to do now is make a move for it before the orphans do!"
They looked over and saw that the orphans were gone.
"Crap! We're too late!"
"Shhhh!" said the masses reading.
"Oh, shh yourselves!" Mercedes said angrily. They sprinted for the nearest way down.
Meanwhile, Orson and Roy had tracked down one of the librarians, hoping against hope that he could help. He directed them to the library database, and they got on the scent. However, it was too little, too late, as you'll soon see.
The Baudelaire orphans ran downstairs pretty quickly. They landed on the ground floor with a thud that echoed up and down the stairs.
"Here's the fiction section," Violet said, "we need to hurry up and find that book!"
Klaus speed-walked down the stacks and scanned the signs. He saw the books were sorted alphabetically by author, so he slowed down when he got to the "S" section. He motioned for Violet to follow him.
"Okay, how is this shuh-KEY-boo spelled?" Klaus asked. "Is it with an 'e' or a 'u'?"
"Just keep looking until we see the book's title!" Violet told him.
"Here it is!"
Klaus pulled away the book and revealed three yellow envelopes. The Final Clue!
(VIOLET & KLAUS are still in first place.)
"Make your way back to the Park of Fame, where the race began, and there, under the shadow of Murasaki, cross the Finish Line!"
Teams must now return to the Park of Fame, where there are many statues to honor the great authors of history. Under the shadow of the statue of Murasaki Shikibu lies the race's ultimate goal, the Finish Line. The first team to reach the Finish Line will win the fictional million dollars and infinite bragging rights for their sponsor.
"This is it, go, go, go!" read Violet.
Klaus was already sprinting for the door. Violet had to double her pace to catch up with him. They reached the curb in no time at all. They hailed a cab, but none came.
While they were still standing there, Anthony & Mercedes reached the book in question. Anthony ripped open the Final Clue and read it aloud.
(ANTHONY & MERCEDES are currently in second place.)
"All right, the mother of all Pit Stops!" he cheered.
"Come on, we have to beat the orphans there!"
They ran as fast as their legs would permit. They got to the curb just in time to…see the Baudelaires get a cab and drive away. Needless to say, they were not pleased with that outcome.
"Okay, we're are not going to panic," said Mercedes.
"Yeah, with their luck, those guys are bound to hit traffic on the way to the park."
Full of resolve, they waited patiently until the next cab arrived. When it did, they wasted no time in telling the cabbie to "go faster that the damn speed of light, if you please."
After they were already gone, the last stragglers Orson & Roy found The Tale of Genji and extracted The Final Clue.
(ORSON & ROY are currently in last place.)
"…In the shadow of Murasaki, cross the Finish Line. This is it, go, go, go!" read Orson.
Roy grabbed Orson by the wrist and dragged him out of the library. They tried to get a cab, but it was slim pickings.
Meanwhile, Violet and Klaus's cab got stuck in the middle of a heavy traffic jam.
"It's almost eight o'clock," Klaus pointed out. "Everyone and his Uncle Charlie is trying to work on time."
"Your pointless observations aren't helping us out, brother!"
"Well, excuse me!"
"Hey," said the cabbie, "how come they call it 'rush hour' if nothing is moving?"
"You stay out of this!"
"Okay."
Elsewhere in town, Ant & Mer were facing similar bumper-to-bumper traffic.
"Can't you get off the main road and take a shortcut?" Anthony asked.
"In a word, no. I don't know this town very well, I just moved here."
"Great!" Mercedes fumed. "Of all the cabbies in Fictograph City, we have to hire this idiot!"
"Hey! It's not my fault I can't learn the lay of the land in a microsecond? Give a guy a break, huh?"
"We're in a race! We have to get to the park fast!"
Silence.
"I'll see what I can do."
"Thank you!"
Time passed…
We see a cab pull up to the entrance of the Park of Fame. We then see a first person shot of that team running through the park, looking for the Finish Line. In the distance, a crowd of people can be heard cheering.
The camera angle changes to show Edward Nemo standing alone on the elevated Finish Line mat. Around the last turn comes…VIOLET & KLAUS.
The orphans run past the eliminated teams on their way to the Finish Line. Hank is clapping and smiling, while Peggy has her arms folded. Zack and Cody are pumping their arms. Malcolm claps politely while Hal cheers. Mako and Rei give Violet high-fives as she passes. Paul and Meist show their support subtly. Marty and Jennifer applaud. Mike and Sulley bellow with joy. Violet P. and Michael clap while they cry.
Smiling, the unfortunate Baudelaires jump up onto the Finish Line and grip Ed in a celebratory embrace. After a while, they pull from him and listen to what he has to say.
"Twelve genres of fiction…twelve sectors of Dreamland…22 days…Over 50,000 miles…Violet and Klaus…you are the winners of the Amazing Race: Dreamland!"
Klaus jumped eight inches off the ground. Violet brought her hands to her face and cried.
"And as the winners, you guys have won a fictional million dollars, and infinite bragging rights for your sponsor, Orange Sora. How do you feel?"
"I…" Violet started. "I'm on cloud nine! I never imagined we'd actually win! This is wonderful! Oh, I love this!"
"This whole thing was an amazing experience!" said Klaus. "I loved every moment of it! Violet has been an amazing partner. She surprised me on just about every leg of the race. I just love her to death, and there's nobody on earth that I'd rather race with."
"So, what are you planning on doing with the money?"
"I have an idea," said Violet. "We're going to hire a crackerjack team of lawyers to get Count Olaf off our backs once and for all. And then, with the money we have left over, we might buy a house."
"We should probably invest some of it, so we can make more money off of it," said Klaus. "But, still, this is a lot of money, and we can do a lot with it."
While they were still talking, the eliminated teams started to cheer again. Another team was running up the row to the Finish Line…ANTHONY & MERCEDES.
"Anthony & Mercedes," Ed said, "you are the second team to cross the Finish Line."
"Yeah, well," said Anthony, "I'm happy. I'm happy that we finished in second overall, and I'm happy that our friends Violet and Klaus won it all. The race has been great. I don't think I'll ever panic about anything ever again."
"Dreamland is a wonderful place," said Mercedes. "I'll spend the next three months writing about this in the Guide. It's hard to believe that all the many people of Dreamland can coexist together so peacefully. It's almost unnatural."
"You know," Anthony added, "it's a shame that we get to see the, um, romance sector of this place, if there was one."
"What do you mean?" asked Mercedes.
"Well, because that would be the perfect place to do what I'm about to do right now."
Anthony crouched on one knee, and pulled a tiny box from his pocket.
"I bought this from the Big Big Mall, and I kept it hidden, so that it wouldn't be taken in Purplewood. I was going to wait until we got eliminated, but that never happened, so I'm doing it now." He opened the box and revealed the glittering diamond inside. "Mercedes Prefect, will you marry me?"
Mercedes closed her eyes and wept. She was so surprised that she couldn't speak. She felt a little weak in the knees, so she knelt down to her boyfriend's level.
"Is that a yes or a no?" asked a confused Anthony Dent.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Yes, I will marry you." She kissed him to show that she meant it. Everyone clapped in celebration, even Peggy.
It wasn't until after all of this that ORSON & ROY finally got a cab to the park. No, I'm just kidding, they weren't really that far behind. But they did arrive at the Finish Line after Anthony proposed.
"Orson and Roy, you are the third team to cross the finish line."
"It's okay," Orson said. "Making it to the final three teams is an accomplishment in itself."
"I'm a little upset that we didn't win," said Roy. "But, I suppose third place is better than nothing. There were so many times that we could have been eliminated, but we weren't. I'm glad we made it as far as we did."
"Roy's performance on the race has renewed my confidence in him," said Orson. "Maybe someday, I could count on him to do something useful around the farm. But, maybe that's just wishful thinking."
After the barnyard critters gave their speech, the eleven teams all exchanged a few warm pleasantries. There was hugging, crying, laughing, smiling, you know, the whole shebang. Then the scene fades to black, and the credits roll.
FINAL RESULTS
WINNERS: VIOLET & KLAUS
2nd place: ANTHONY & MERCEDES
3rd place: ORSON & ROY
4th place: VIOLET & MICHAEL
5th place: MIKE & SULLEY
6th place: MARTY & JENNIFER
7th place: PAUL & MEIST
8th place: MAKO & REI
9th place: HAL & MALCOLM
10th place: ZACK & CODY
11th place: HANK & PEGGY
(A/N: And there it is. So, congratulations to Violet and Klaus Baudelaire, and Orange Sora, who won the infinite bragging rights, effective immediately. Whew! This took the better part of four months to write. I am exhausted. I think I'm going to take a break from writing for a while. At least until I get inspired again. So, until I return, I bid you good night, and good luck.)