Chapter Forty-One:

A/N: I didn't have any plans on making Adette and Tessa a couple when I wrote this, but plans can change. (wink. wink.)That's all I'm saying about that. This chapter is about how the girls will relate to each other now that Adette's long-held secret is out, as well as Tessa admitting one of her own. There's also a bit of an overlap with the previous chapter. It's kind of short, though.

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I can't believe she didn't that! Tessa thought, no longer able to look at Adette. She wondered how long the girl how felt that way. Does she think about me, about having sex with me?

With a shudder of disgust, Tessa tried to push the thought from her mind. Images of the two rolling around together naked and breasts heaving in the pale moonlight filled her thoughts. She cringed and immediately felt a wave of guilt, self-loathing, and shame. The redhead had always considered herself open-minded.

"I'm sorry, I'm not a lesbian."

She looked up at her companion and saw that she wasn't looking at her, but at the hand missing a finger. Surely, it must have been incredibly painful to sit through the whole story with it, and then the…

The kiss, she told herself. It was just a kiss.

Then Tessa began to think back on everything that had occurred between them, searching for something that might have led Adette on. There was always the male bashing, but that's not because I'm a lesbian. Then there was when I comforted her on the train after she shot the woman, the Rot, on the train, but that was just being a good person. If she thought I was being clingy and all lesbian-like on the hill after the airship crash… I was just depressed.

Every possibility that came into her mind was rationalized away, every reason for confusion reasoned with until it was unrecognizable. As much as she hated to admit it, Tessa was scared and clueless

In the Residence, all she had to do was point and shoot; after Holt's death, she mourned; but there was no protocol for being kissed by a girl, no remedy to make everything better. She was lost, confused, and wanted to blame it all on Adette, yet she couldn't. There was something about her: the way they squabbled, the insults they threw at each other, the way Adette would crinkle her nose when Tessa made a fool of herself.

Tessa was the one to finally break the silence. "When I was twelve, I was raped."

"I'm so sorry," Adette uttered. Tessa watched as she looked up from her hand. "He got away with it?"

Tessa smiled sadly and picked at her fingernails. It was five minutes before she answered, but it felt like eternity. "You told me something very private that could get you expelled from Garden, something that shaped you into who you are and who you will be. It only seemed appropriate that I do the same."

"Not exactly."

"What does that mean?"

Tessa said nothing, and Adette was left with a puzzled look. She sighed and looked away from Tessa.

"There was… is someone in my life," Adette confessed with a self-hating look."We've been together for two years, she is my world and I would never do anything to hurt her. At least, I never thought I would."

Words weren't enough to express what was going on in either girl's mind, and Tessa wished that she knew what Adette was thinking. As hard as life had been for her at Lotia Garden, she could at least confide in her friends. Did Adette even have friends? She had a girl that no one knew about, that much Tessa knew.

The redhead was almost jealous of Adette. Even with having to keep her life one big secret, she'd found love. Tessa hadn't even been able to do that, move on.

There had been opportunities, most notably Phelan. He had been able to look beyond the cold exterior and find something desirable about her, but she repaid him by leaving him to die in a city full of the walking dead. Then there was Holt; she had even felt something with the man. However, her inability to get over herself probably cost her that relationship, not to mention the fact that she had been unable to free him from an afterlife of mindlessly wandering around trying to eat the living. That probably hurt the most.

"You didn't," Tessa said in a flash of clarity.

"What do you mean?" Adette sounded incredulous, as though the two words Tessa said had been completely insane.

"There's nothing between us. There never was. I was mourning and that's all that happened."

"What are you talking about? I just…"

"That never happened," Tessa said firmly. She hoped Adette would understand what she was trying to get across.

A knowing look crossed Adette's face, showing that she did truly get it. "Thank you."

"What for?" Tessa asked. She grabbed another shrivelled up apple from a nearby burlap sack and bit into it.

"Nothing."

"Here," Tessa said as she took the bird-shaped pin off of her chest. It was Phoenix, her GF, and, amazingly enough, it was devoid of blood. She handed it to Adette, who looked utterly confused. "Keep it. I don't need it anymore."

"Fine, but you take Shiva," Adette said as she removed her GF. "She was given to me by someone special, and I hope you can get more use out of her than I have."

Hello, nice to meet you.

"But you already know me," Tessa said.

"Whom are you talking to?" Adette asked as she pinned Phoenix to her chest.

"Didn't you say something?"

"No," the other girl said as she shook her head. "Are you feeling okay?"

It wasn't Adette. It was I.

"Who are you?" Tessa asked.

"Oh, now I understand," Adette said with a smirk.

You don't have to speak aloud; I can hear your thoughts.

Fine then, who are you?

I'm Shiva, your new GF.