Secrets

Part Three

3 months later-

(Around 'Self-Possessed')

They called that day so long ago, the day she had left her heart in New Orleans, the Day of Reckoning. So very much had happened then, even more in the hours it took her to get back here without breaks. Wolverine was captured by mutant haters who experimented on him and was barely saved in time, Defkon4 was activated by someone and the mansion was blown up, a Sentinel was released to destroy them all, Professor X disappeared, and the world found out about mutants. They managed to survive in spite of all that, in spite of the Juggernaut getting loose, and the mansion was rebuilt thanks to substantial amounts of money and a team of mutants- they were even allowed back at school, but their lives were changed forever.

Once again the untouchable Rogue though she couldn't forget that one New Orleans night, the stripe-haired girl strolled through the mansion, bypassing the rec. room where Jean and Scott sat to flop down in the empty library. Removing her leather gloves, she lay there for at least half an hour just staring at her no longer deadly hands. One more secret she kept from everyone. Then she started to think of all the boys she'd pushed away in the past two years or so, using her powers as an excuse. They'd all noticed the slow changes in her; with her long hair, light make-up and brighter, more daring clothes, her more approachable/amiable attitude. Except her recent irritability, tiredness, and mood swings.

Then Rogue laughed softly to herself out of irony when she remembered just how close she'd gotten to Scott, how he'd actually liked her as more than a teammate and friend at first. She'd had plenty of chances to touch him after she joyfully discovered that she could control her powers, had plenty of chances to be with him before him and Jean became an item. But however long she'd believed she loved him, as much as she'd prayed for control so she could touch him, something happened. She had realized that she didn't want him that way anymore, hadn't for a long while. Then she'd had another chance at love with Bobby before she had, with the right degree of sadness, broke up with him "due to her powers."

But she was still wondering why she kept her uncelebrated secret- wondering why she still kept the isolated identity of Rogue though she yearned to once again be the carefree girl she'd been before her powers. The girl, that now only existed those two months a year in New Orleans. At the thought of New Orleans, the emotions and memories it evoked, as harp pain shot through her head and the insensible murmuring of all the personalities in her head grew to a shout. She cried out, eyes tearing, and she clutched her head with sparking hands as the chair across from her exploded. Her breath coming in short pants, she was whimpering softly, eyes squeezed shut, close to ten minutes. Rogue, are you alright? She heard Xavier ask telepathically.

She swiped at the tears running down her face, swallowing past the pain. Fine, Professor. Feeling his disbelief, she added, It's just my powers. Even with all our training, I've had a harder time controlling all these personalities. But I'm better now. She could almost hear him sigh, then a long moment passed without words, as if he were processing something. Alright, Rogue. Then assemble to the war room. There is trouble with the Acolytes and Brotherhood again Rogue forced down the rising nausea that had been her constant companion this past month and got up, a cold knot in the pit of her stomach as she put her gloves back on. Steeling herself, she left the room ready for battle. As always.

Rogue was the first one off the plane, eyes wary as she stalked into the midst of the combined evil groups of mutants. She'd heard that Magneto had added a powerful new mutant to the force of elite fighters so titled the Acolytes- but nothing was known of him but his codename so they had to be careful. As the growing team of X-men squared off, she heard footsteps behind her. "Looks like you be stuck wit' Gambit, chérie." She felt a familiar chill down her spine along with an equally familiar coldness as she very slowly turned around, the sad look in her eyes gut-wrenching. "Marie," came his shocked whisper, the kinetically charged card between his fingers fluttering to the ground.

She watched it explode with a strange apathy, swallowing to speak past the lump in her throat. "The name is Rogue here, Gambit," she said softly, a sudden breeze freeing a few strands of hair from the loose ponytail at her back. She should've searched the memories she'd taken, should've recalled that Remy LeBeau's codename was Gambit- when he was 'working' at least. The auburn-haired man shook his head. "Not with me," he said just as softly. "How long?" he then asked. And she knew he meant how long she'd known she was a mutant, how long she'd been with the X-men. "I've been with the X-men for four years, and a mutant for just a year more than that," she sighed, walking closer as she seemed to round on him.

"And you wondered why I was so ready to accept your eyes," she finished with a humorless tilt of her lips. There was confusion in those beautiful red-on-black eyes now. "A telepath?" he questioned, reaching out to touch her. She leapt back out of habit as well as purpose, looking at his fingerless gloves that were stilled on a pack of cards. "Can't do that now," she chided. "But no, I'm not a telepath, not exactly." Rogue enjoyed his apparent puzzlement, his frustration, and didn't say another word for a while as they circled each other. He reached for her again and she leapt back as before.

"I'd be more careful if I were you," she taunted. "With one touch your thoughts, memories, life force, even your powers could become mine. And I can't control it." She said that last part more for the benefit of her teammates, and that seemed obvious as he made his next move. Some odd light came into his eyes and with a speed fitting the Prince of Thieves, he snagged her wrist and pulled her straight flush against him before she even had time to blink, stroking her bare wrist. "Remy t'inks yo' lyin', chére," he breathed, hearing her heart kick up a notch. "You controlled it jus' fine in N'Orleans."

There was a brewing storm in her eyes and a sudden wind kicked up mysteriously as electric energy crackled in the air around her and the skies gave out a warning growl. "Maybe I can," she sneered, derision made plain in her voice, "And maybe I can't. That's one in a long line of secrets you can never hope to find out." She could practically feel the anger emanating from him just before he captured her lips in a fierce kiss- then she moaned, throwing herself into the kiss as the heat of his anger flamed into searing desire, adding to her own. She'd never let go of him. But she ended it, activating her powers and draining enough off him that he pulled away dizzily.

"Just a lil' reminder," she smirked with frosty tones, her southern voice laced with his own Cajun French inflections. She took one of his cards and charged it. "Now don't ya think we should get to fightin'?" Rogue keenly felt the pain radiating from him with his empathic powers even though he quickly masked it, just as good as she was with that. Then he countered with his own question, "Why'd you leave?" Shock hit her system. 'Wow, that was blunt,' she thought, momentarily taken aback. Her gaze skimmed over his face, tripping on his eyes, and saw that he was almost as surprised as she was about that question popping out like that. She schooled her features, just raising a brow in spite of the slight stirring in her stomach.

"Why are you trying to make it something more than it was?" she said callously. "It was just a one-night stand." She fought a wince as she forced cruel sincerity into her voice and expression. With a merciless smile, she traced his jawline with one finger. "Come on Gambit, really, you should know what that's like. I do. I have you in my head now, remember?" Before he could see how badly she wanted to take everything back, Rogue turned on a heel and walked away, tossing the charged card she'd almost forgotten behind her.

"Don't bother following me out," her voice echoed on the wind. She was silent and withdrawn on the way back to the mansion, except for the emotionless rote of information on this new enemy. By herself she wondered how she'd ever been able to go through with that whole ordeal feeling weak as she'd been feeling. But she was grateful, as she dragged herself up the stairs. The last thing Rogue ever wanted was to appear weak in front of Remy after what happened. Then the nausea hit her double time. Clutching her stomach, she subconsciously used her stolen abilities of super strength and speed to get to the bathroom. In her ten minutes or so of sitting on the cool tile floor in from of the toilet and vomiting, she silently thanked God that at least she hadn't had her period to add to this sickness and misery.

And that's when it all struck her, eyes staring blindly into space and ears deafened to the concerned cries of her teammates outside. Searching inside herself, Rogue suddenly felt even worse as two thoughts resonated. One, 'How am going to explain this when I'm supposed to be untouchable/ How long can I possibly keep it a secret?' And two, 'Oh my God, I'm pregnant.' Some wild, inescapable force rose inside her then, carrying with a cart-full of emotion and a terrifying lack of control. Sobbing, she tore through the doorway, her powers manifesting themselves in a terrible way as her teammates tried to hold her back; and as they fell to the ground unconscious she bypassed the front doors. Then screaming in agony as the power ripped through her, she fell to her knees, giving in to all the personalities that had been tearing her apart for days.