Halo: The Moron Chronicles
I don't own anything (Sadly…) Except ZB, Dop, and Zoo. Chapter 1: Escaping the normal.

It was an average day, well, if you consider sitting in The Pillar of Autumn being attacked by waves of Covenant normal….

Three Spartans stood on deck, one red, one white, one orange, and one green. The red one was called 001, or Zoo. The orange one's name was Dop, the white one's name was ZB, and the green one's name was Master Chief.

Captain Keys- (Smoking.) You three have to take Cortona and leave before the Covenant get their hands on-

ZB- Why are we even listening to you? We already know what we have to do.

Dop- Yeah, we aren't stupid.

MC: Shut up you two! (Runs out of room.)

Captain Keys- Wait, I haven't finished!

Zoo- (Kicks Captain Keys in balls and runs off after MC.) Wait for me!

Captain Keys: (Falls on floor clutching balls.) You bastards!

Dop, ZB- (Look at each other and run off after Zoo.)

A while after the four finish kicking Covenant ass on the ship they reach the escape pods.

Marine- (Laying in front of open escape pod crying.) OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO DIE!

MC, Dop, Zoo, ZB- (Walk up behind Marine.)

MC- (Grabs Marine by collar and lifts.) Don't worry Marine.

Marine- Oh thank you, sir-

MC- (Throws Marine into Pillar of Autumn and runs into escape pod.)

Dop, Zoo, ZB- (Run in after MC.)

Escape Pod- (Launches.)

ZB- Hey, didn't we forget Cortona?

Zoo, Dop- (Look at each other and shrug.)

MC- Woops!