Fallout: Kazuma the Road Warrior? XII
Disclaimers I don't own either Fallout New Vegas or Kono Suba, but I do own my own D.I.Y. pip-boy customized with its own ember colored touch screen they used back in the Mojave.
Kazuma had a shitty day, he slept shitty, and even woke up shitty, bottom line Kazuma was feeling pretty shitty.
Kazuma had very recollection as to what the hell happened to him the evening before, but what he did know was that the girls in his team were to blame.
Speaking of, he found himself in the embrace of one of them, specifically the blue haired one as she had a dopey smile on her face and seemed to have not only a bottle but Mentats as well.
If Kazuma could guess, Aqua must have thought of improvising some party Mentats of her own by combing her booze and the rest of her allowance, which in Kazuma's opinion makes no damn sense, since the main purpose is to increase one's charisma.
What's more she was missing a key ingredient to make the chem, and is probably more drunk and now high than he needed to deal with when it came to Aqua's bad habits.
Trying to nudge himself away from the disgraceful and sad excuse of a goddess, Aqua began to mumble in her sleep, "…I want us to connect our bodies" mumbled Aqua in her sleep as this startled Kazuma to no end.
"Uh Aqua, please tell me you're awake" as Kazuma gave a unique startled look only he could do after all this time and shit he had to deal with since day one of his adventures with Aqua.
At this Aqua finally woke up and had an unusual dopey happy smile plastered on her face, "Kazuma, you're finally awake honey" said Aqua as Kazuma gave a deadpanned serious look as to how and what this situation is looking at once she sobers up.
Before Kazuma could protest or voice anything to Aqua, the goddess in question went and planted a kiss on Kazuma's lips.
Completely taken by surprise, Kazuma could only let the kiss happen before Aqua pulled away and look at Kazuma, "Hey Kazuma" said Aqua, "Yes I'm Kazuma" said Kazuma.
"Why are you a tease to every girl you come in contact with" asked Aqua, "Huh" said Kazuma as he cocked his brow.
"Come on, you meet a girl, thinks she has some sort of sex appeal, you find one flaw and screw up, and yet you still touch yourself at night while fantasizing about her" Aqua said as she was dead on the truth.
"Ok Aqua, I need to check your pip-boy" said Kazuma as Aqua obliged and gave a flirtatious gesture as Kazuma began to manage his barrings over his team.
It seemed that Aqua had leveled up big time as she jumped from level 7 to level 12 after everything they did yesterday, and began to divide her skill points and perks where he know they're needed.
While all the skill points went to medicine, her perk points went to 3 levels of the intense training perk, specifically in the Intelligence S.P.E.C.I.A.L. department, but as he did, he notice a sudden change in her personality.
Instantly it seemed like Aqua was suffering from a new level of headaches with each rank to her intelligence, and while the perk points she earned that were added to Medicine was beautiful, she began to moan more and more in pain by the time the process was over.
"Hey…Kazuma…" Aqua mumbled weakly, "Yes I'm Kazuma" said Kazuma, "Can you get me some water and some fresh Brahmin or Bighorn steak".
"Sure thing Aqua" said Kazuma as he began to get out of bed and notice he was down into his old smelly boxers like everyone else in the damn Mojave, but the sight of his personal armor was not in sight.
Kazuma could only sigh as he stepped out of the tent and was greeted by Great Khan's passing by while giving teasing cat calls and wolf whistles to the Road Warrior.
Walking around the bare red dirt in Red Rock Canyon, Kazuma didn't need to go far as he spotted Darkness, Megumin, and Veronica as they were brewing either free medicine or meals to hand out to the Great Khan's at camp.
"Morning Kazuma" greeted Darkness, "The fact he's parading in his underwear with no shame and care in front of us makes me wonder if he's finally embracing his pervert side or not" jabbed Megumin.
"I may be a lesbian, but aren't men generally more exciting in the morning or is Kazuma just not much of a morning person" added Veronica to the previous jabs.
"Ha ha, anyways Darkness can you make me a steak for Aqua and please tell me where my clothes are at" said Kazuma.
"I'm sorry to say but I have no idea or any of us" admitted Darkness, "Come again" asked Kazuma with a dead panned look, "When the Khan's came in and save your butt last night, they were the ones who stripped and healed you to ensure that you're alive right now".
Kazuma was honestly frustrated and was ready to go shoot something but before he could a small group of Great Khan's approached him, "Road Warrior, you are needed in Papa Khan's house right now" said the Khan's.
Kazuma wanted to say no and demand his clothes to be returned right now, but he didn't equipped any of his arms or had any back up clothes and could only sigh in frustration as he followed to meet the leader of a once proud tribe of raiders.
Once inside, Kazuma saw that it was Papa Khan alongside his second in command Regis, with Jessup and McMurphy standing over the Legion's very own emissary, Karl as he could only glare daggers at Kazuma.
"I have to say, not many get the honor in me requesting their presence, so let me get straight to it" said Papa Khan as he stood from his big papa bear chair.
"For aiding and looking out for my fellow Khan's through and through, be it warning McMurphy or Jessup's deal with that prick from New Vegas or freeing our top courier Anders from a fate worse than death, I hereby honor you with a pair of newly made and best hand crafted leather clothing" said Papa Khan as Slit was the one to give Kazuma his very own Great Khan armor.
"With this you are hereby an official member and recognized as an honorary member to the Great Khan's and you and anyone with you are hereby liked and welcome to any other Great Khan you run by" said Papa Khan as everyone began to cheer for Kazuma as he began to slid on the jeans before trying out the jacket.
"Now before I send you off and share the rest of your well deserved reward with us, I've been informed that you're a man with insightful intuition as to series of events that would've otherwise lead us to our inept downfall" said Papa Khan as he looked at Karl.
"So tell me this, and let me know now as to why I should still keep an alliance with the Legion after what they did to my own tribesman, and the fate of us should we consider to team up with their so called god king" Papa Khan as he was really pushing Karl's buttons right now.
"You team up with the Legion, expect a moment more tragic than what occurred to Bitter Springs, starting with your elder, sick, and the minds behind your chem market get killed on the spot, your woman sold as slaves and wives to officers who think they deserve them, your men given the choice to live and die, while all your young are force to fight in the Legion unaware of their heritage, ending the legacy of the Great Khan's forever" said Kazuma.
Hearing this shocked everyone in silence as they all had their eyes on Karl who looked like he was ready to snap.
"Tell me, is this true Karl" asked Papa Khan, "The fact I have to sleep under the same roof of the leader to a damn filthy tribal who are better off dead, makes me question why not annihilate this tribe like any other we had conquered in the past. And now, now I got this cur ruining it, so in the name of Caesar, you will all die" said Karl before the man was killed via hunting knife to the head.
While to anyone else it looked like a regular hunting knife, to Jessup and McMurphy they recognized it as the knife that was once used by their brother Chance.
"Sorry about that" smirked Kazuma as Papa Khan went to retrieve the knife himself and smiled at Kazuma.
"Ya know, before I let this S.O.B. into my camp, I demanded we'd exchange something useful, and what I got was well worth it, and all though I promised to keep it between me and him, I got no qualms as to not teaching it to you and your party" said Papa Khan.
"Come with me out back and I'll show you not only a trick that gives us Khan's an edge in combat, but also this takedown trick that are used by the Legion's best of the best" said Papa Khan.
Time Skip
Within half a day, Kazuma and company learned how to properly do the Great Khan trick, but also the Legion's Assault punch that could knock anyone down.
After their stay, the group set out to leave the Great Khan's with Aqua sober now, they notice something different in her personality, "Kazuma" said Aqua, "Yes I'm Kazuma" said Kazuma.
"Tell me, did you already manage to collect more than the necessary 50 star caps to enter inside and gather the alleged treasure of the Sunset Sarsaparilla Head Quarters" asked Aqua.
Hearing this got Kazuma pause in his tracks as did his party as he took a moment to look back at Aqua, "Um, yes but how, why do you know that" asked Kazuma, "My guesses are that since you began to increase my S.P.E.C.I.A.L. stats in the intelligence department, you can say that you've created or better said awaken a more reliable companion" explained Aqua.
"In short I'm remembering things I should've already known, and know how to access or achieve by memory then out of the blue, therefore making our travels to be a lot more easier" said Aqua as she just stunned her party members in silence.
"So question is this is how you're going to talk like now, like kinda like a book worm" asked Veronica, "Ha no, I'm just messing with you guys" said Aqua as everyone face fall to this joke.
"But I am serious as to me being a lot more brighter and helping us in either getting a mission done and done right" said Aqua with a smile, "So let's go and get us Pew-Pew".
Not knowing how he should feel, all Kazuma could do alongside his party was to nod and follow as they proceeded to venture into the ruins to that of the rivaling company to that of Nuka-Cola.
As they got closer, Kazuma had told his party to sit down and wait as he began to sneak on ahead, equipped with the Gobi Desert Rifle and looking through the scope he saw fiends out by the building and both were holding onto some high tech weaponry.
"Mind handing that to me for a second" said Aqua as she had knelt besides Kazuma, "What the hell are you doing here" whispered Kazuma, "Trying to give you hand".
"Why the hell should I do that" whispered Kazuma, "I'm the only other person in our party who has high enough perception like you, now quit your bitching and hand me that rifle, and you circle around and get them from behind" suggested Aqua.
Kazuma was starting to not like this smart Aqua as much as he liked the dumb Aqua, but what he hates more was that she had a solid plan that complimented each other's skills.
So as much as Kazuma hates taking orders from Aqua or doing test runs in the moment, he could only oblige as he handed Aqua the unique rifle as he took out the Big Boomer sawed-off shotgun.
Sneaking his way around, he could over hear the conversation between the Fiends as they were talking about their next shipment and trade between the Great Khan's and how they're going to enjoying killing more NCR troops.
Kazuma cared little as he was behind the delivery truck only 5 feet away from the Fiends before he heard a loud gunshot where one of them crashed into the floor leaving only brain matter and a growing red puddle.
Just as the other Fiend was about to charge and attack Aqua, Kazuma jumped in and pressed the double barrel to the junkies back and watched as he literally saw the bone shards of the raiders spine get shot out through the other side of his body.
"Think you can trust me now" smiled Aqua as Kazuma hated to be proven wrong, but when push comes to shove, "Alright name your price" said Kazuma as he holstered his shotgun as Aqua approached Kazuma with enough distance away from their party members.
"A dinner date for 2 as soon as we gain access into the main strip at the Tops Casino" said Aqua as Kazuma looked dumbfounded before turning to see Aqua gave her cute wink at him.
"You guys are alright" asked Darkness, "Yeah we're good" said Kazuma as he was bothered by Aqua's request once they hit the New Vegas Strip.
As they were approaching the building, Kazuma checked to see the status as to how much longer he has to wait before he could rank up and perk up, but when he did he already saw the end results.
Not a single skill point was used in his major or minor skill pools, and worst of all the perk he got was something he felt he did not need in his inventory, not because he didn't think it was useful, but because he was not going to hear the end of it from his party members.
The perk in question was the Confirmed Bachelor Perk, and while it does do additional bonus damage to male enemies, and considering the majority of major factions were male, it also allowed Kazuma the option to smooth talk his way into the hearts of men.
"Girls…" began Kazuma as he took a frustrating pause just as they were about to enter, "Who… who messed with my pip-boy and be honest and I promise not to bitch for the day".
"That was me, sorry Kazuma" admitted Aqua as she felt bad over remembering how she was drunk and high when she decided to mess with Kazuma's pip-boy in his sleep.
"Were you high and drunk when you've done this" asked Kazuma, "Yes" Aqua said as she began to fidget to this not so surprising revelation.
"Ok let's just go inside" said Kazuma as he passed Aqua and proceed to enter the Sunset Sarsaparilla HQ building where down the hallway they saw Festus in his animatronic glory.
"Howdy Partner" greeted Festus as this startled the girls, except by Kazuma and Aqua as they approached the only other friendly bot you can find in the world of fallout.
"Howdy" greeted Kazuma back, "Well fancy greetings, boy I tell ya it's been quite a while since I've seen a posse as huge as yours partner" said Festus, "So what can ol' Festus do for you cow polks down here by Sunset Sarsaparilla Head Quarters".
"Well we were hoping we're still elligable to play and win the Sunset Sarsaparilla Star Cap competition" Kazuma said as he lifted and jingle all 50 blue star caps you can only gain in sunset sarsaparilla.
"Well howdy, I'm glad to see there are folks like you still willing to collect and play to our little game, while the contest itself is still going, it solely depends on you and the number of caps you do have on you that you may enter and win the Sunset Sarsaparilla contest" said Festus.
To Kazuma and Aqua they only needed just 50 caps to actually win and enter to get the 'prize' of the Sunset Sarsaparilla, but since their travels Kazuma has accumulated 61 caps.
Once the caps were sent in Festus began to turn his cheerfulness to a whole new notch, "Yee-haw you flaming roosters sure have showed ol' Festus, I say you all more than deserve your rewards, the doors are open and I hope to see you and many more of you folks soon" said Festus as Kazuma stood there and smirk.
"Alright you girls stay here and take a breather, I'll be back" smiled Kazuma as he began to explore the facility by himself.
Sneaking around, Kazuma was careful as to not wanting to alarm any of the faculty Protectron's as he manage to use V.A.T.S. and melee sneak attack them with Chance's Knife as it seemed to have instant kill any to all of the factory's machines.
Eventually Kazuma approached closer and closer as he peeked around and saw nothing unusual.
"I think we both know we got nothing to fear except get locked in those vacuum shut doors" came Aqua as Kazuma fell on his face with a crash before turning and glaring back at the goddess.
"Damn it Aqua what the hell are doing sneaking up on me like that" shrilled Kazuma, "This is coming from the degenerative pervert who used my panties he'd stolen to masturbate with while thinking of me back in Novac" sneered Aqua back.
"How did you…" paled Kazuma as Aqua at this point has officially got his number and ass in place for once, "It doesn't matter, but know that unless you want me to continue ruining your chances to be viewed as a hero, you'd quit your bitching and start taking in that I am far more valuable by your side now" said Aqua.
Kazuma felt compelled to at this point just pick pocket her current pair of knickers at the moment, but instead he went through his inventory and threw a bent tin can at the goddess.
"Hey that hurt you asshole" yelled Aqua, "Well what are you gonna do about it" taunted Kazuma.
And like that Aqua was ready to charge in and attack Kazuma with her bare fist, but Kazuma had waited and timed to use the Great Khan trick he learned and Aqua was not a fan of it.
"You asshole" coughed Aqua as Kazuma stepped passed and swatted her ass, remember I'm the master of the Mojave and as far as you know probably it's hero, now don't get full of yourself just because you're finally gifted in the Intelligence department" smirked Kazuma as he enjoyed copping a feel on Aqua's arse.
Because of their ruckus, the 2 were surprise when a laser beam just nearly missed them, when Kazuma spotted a single Protectron approaching them "Protect and serve" it said on loop.
Aqua cared little as she took her unique Recharger Pistol that Kazuma gave her and spared nothing to dropping the Protectron into an exploding pile of ash and bolts.
"Now save" commented Kazuma, "Was there any doubt now that I have God Rain" smiled Aqua, "God Rain, what the hell are you talking about" asked Kazuma.
"Well the name of this thing is not only ridiculous but a mouthful, and since Megumin got to rename her grenade rifle, I decided to rename my Recharger Pistol" explained Aqua, "Alright good to know" said Kazuma.
Now that everything was cleared, both party members went inside the potential death trap where Kazuma looted the crates to acquire more than 7,000 caps to bounce his party members and himself back into a financially secure state again as Aqua went to retrieve Pew-Pew.
"Alright we good to go" asked Kazuma, "Yep" smiled Aqua as she and Kazuma left the area with their loot before they finally meet back with their group.
"We good to go" asked Darkness, "Yup" said Kazuma, "Good let's go, this place is my own hell since there's no Nuka-Cola here" said Megumin as she had no regard she said it in front of Festus who just happened to have his jaw dropped.
"Alright good to know" said Kazuma as he began to lead his party out, only to be confronted by a new threat.
"Finally you assholes decided to step out, now you're gonna pay and get it after what the hell you did to some of our friends" said one of the many group of Fiends.
Seeing how Kazuma couldn't sneak his way and team up with Megumin to finish this quickly and little effort, he knew this was going to end in one way and one way alone.
Going into V.A.T.S., Kazuma used Maria and manage to put 5 critical headshots into the Fiends, as Darkness stepped up and stood her ground.
She didn't need to do anything as a Fiend with a pool cue came swinging only for it to break and turned to splinters upon hitting Darkness, before she used The NCR Ranger takedown and watched as she saw that he was knocked into his companion behind him.
This gave Aqua a chance to use Pew-Pew and laid waste to the raiders Darkness knocked out and the one approaching her.
Now normally, Megumin would have no problems using her explosive weapons at this point, but she had quickly learned that out in the Mojave, she had no control over the blast radius.
So she did something risky as she ran in using Chopper and was lucky to land a critical blow to the Fiend's arm, but even with her increased strength, the Fiend was too doped up on Med-x and kicked Megumin down on her ass.
In spite of her strengths in everything else and her unique armor, Megumin would not and never admit to her party members that her endurance was literally crumbly in comparison to everyone else.
So the fact she was on her arse and winded was on her hand and was expecting the end, only to be rescued once more by Kazuma as he used the Legion Assault take down and watched as the junkie kissed the dirt ground.
Quickly grabbing Chopper, Kazuma used V.A.T.S. and killed the Fiend junkie before turning his back to Megumin.
"Kazuma, behind you" pointed out Megumin as Kazuma didn't need to turn as Veronica intervened and killed the Fiend with an intercepting punch to the lower jaw.
"Here you dropped this" offered Kazuma as he helped Megumin up her butt, before he went on ahead and lead his party members into the ruins of the out New Vegas, while leaving Megumin in her thoughts of changing her style and perspective now that she's in the Mojave.
Later
While it was mainly killing Fiends and the occasional Legion assassination party, team Kazuma had made it to one of the last few places he had his eyes on.
It was the Gun Runners main Vegas trading post, and while he did promise Aqua not to waste their money on guns, since he lacked the efficient funds as of now, he did wanted to sell the loot they had and save up to gain access to the strip.
While this went on, Kazuma's party Members who could began to upgrade their stats.
For Megumin, she figured she needed to level up fast and really distribute her skill points since she could do it and afford it since she did get all of her desired perks, and figured now was time to be a team player in acquiring most of the skills for herself and her party and went with the 1st prestige of the Swift Learner perk.
Darkness was on a good roll with already the Piercing Strike and now Paralyzing Palm perks in her hand as she began to sit down and distribute her points and perks into literally be the second contender when fighting the second battle at Hoover Dam.
Once everything was done, Kazuma didn't need to leave far as he lead his party into one of the first gates to where their quest to saving the Mojave and ending their adventure begins.
"You girls ready" asked Kazuma, "So long as you buy me pretty things with your gamble winnings, then yes" said Aqua eagerly, "If someone discriminates me cause I'm a kid, they're dead" commented Megumin, "We're more than ready Kazuma" said Darkness.
"Alright, next stop New Vegas and the strip" said Kazuma as he lead them through the gates of New Vegas.
And we're finished now, and I'm actually out of anything witty or worth talking about at the moment.
Oh wait, I do and that's me going back to school soon, and so that means I better get on these updates ASAP.
Other than that, I was thinking to have like a holiday special in the near future, it would be noncanon, but it would be fun, so let me know if you guys either want a Halloween or Christmas special, or neither in the review or PM me your thoughts.
This has been you Humble Narrator Tobi Yaza. =3