Author's Note: Sorry this update took so long, my computer crashed. Jard drive = Toast. I literally got my documents off it the same day, or else I would have lost many, many stories and new chapters of the 'The Journey'... and others. Had to get a new computer (went through 3, still not sure I like the 3rd), and then had to get Microsoft Office added to open my word files, as new computers no long come with word. Sigh...it's been frustrating and leaving little time to type. Writters block doesn't help either.
The following afternoon, Angel paced in his office as he waited for Buffy to finish her training class.
After what felt like 100,000 tries, he'd finally convinced her he was ok with her resuming teaching her classes, much to the displeasure of the slayers who'd been enjoying their 'vacation' from the rigorous training regime.
Now that the Hellmouth was inactive in Ohio, Buffy had expressed in interest in upping classes as there was no longer a reason to hold patrols around Cleveland. No patrols would lead to slacking slayers, unless they were given an expanded course-load to keep them occupied. As a bonus, the extra classes would also help her burn off the excess energy that would no longer be spent patrolling. As a double bonus, the more training, the better that newer slayers would be in real world demon battling scenarios.
A win-win all around.
Unless of course you are one of the teenage girls being told you have more classes.
Buffy had been uncomfortable resuming classes mostly because Angel couldn't teach his own without his sight, since as a trainer he'd need to be able to watch the forms of the girls and make sure they were performing the exercises correctly. Buffy wasn't about to authorize a 'hands-on' approach for her husband to check the forms of a large group of fit young woman. It wasn't so much that she didn't trust her spouse to be faithful to her, but she wasn't sure she trusted some of the slayers, especially after Marcy and her sick delusion that Angel was in love with her.
As much as Angel was happy his wife could resume her classes, he did harbor a small tinge of jealousy, mostly since he was bored to near death with nothing to do.
The kids were enjoying a few hours with a group of slayers that were between classes, the young woman were smitten with the toddlers and demanding their own 'playtime'.
As he paced back and forth in his office, he began to grow more restless. 'Damn, I must be able to do something useful.' He thought, annoyed that once again he was without purpose. The blindness itself didn't bother him so much as the inability to perform sighted tasks. Nearly everything he usually occupied himself doing required eyes, like teaching, reading, drawing or watching Hockey.
Taking a deep breath and forcing himself to relax away the frustration building within, he moved over to his desk and felt around for his cellphone, and making sure it was securely placed in his pocket when Buffy called. His girl had already chewed him out earlier for not carrying his phone, so he hit the keypad to hear a beep to know it was turned on.
Gathering his bearings, reluctantly grabbed the white guide cane Cassidy had insisted he use while maneuvering inside the building and headed out into the hall, letting his feet choose his path as the cane guided his steps.
He didn't know where he was going, only that he needed to go somewhere and do something. He hoped inspiration would hit him while to walked.
The long stick in his hand was a great help, he couldn't deny that. An much as he hated having to rely upon it, he did enjoy not having to walk with his hands outstretched. He was especially fond of the stick for keeping him from smashing his face against a wall, which he hoped never happened again, especially not with a witness this time. Worst things had happened to him over the decades, but few had been that embarrassing. The only plus plus side, he hadn't see it happen.
After a while of wandering without a destination, Angel found himself in the elevator, his fingers skimming over the buttons on the panel. He couldn't read braille, but he remembered which order the numbers were in. He selected his choice and waited for the ding that his floor had been reached. As he exited the car, he listened and took a deep breath, helping to orient himself as he turned towards the direction he remembered from the visual map in his mind.
He knew he'd reached the right area when the odor of polishing oil and steel increased exponentially.
"Ladies." Angel addressed to the two slayers he could hear and smell as they stood outside the door, two bored guards at their posts.
"Mr. Angel, Sir." One replied, she sounded young to him, her scent dominated by hair-dye and makeup as her heart rate increased from surprise and nervousness.
The second girl had her eyes focused on his dark glasses, he could feel her stare boring into him.
"May I enter?" He asked, more a formality than anything. He owned most of the items inside, he was going in whether they gave him 'permission' or not.
"Um, sure, Sir." The first slayer answered, not sounding enthused but also not wanting to deny the boss.
The one staring at him finally looked away as he turned his head towards her, a warning smile flashed on his lips.
When he heard them step away from the bared door, he moved forwards and punched a code into the keypad, his fingers knowing the rhythm without having to look.
Upon entering the armory, one of several in the building, he tapped his guide stick along the floor until he reached the empty chair he knew to be in the corner. Putting down the cane, he felt around for the whet stone and polishing oils that were stored on the one of the lower shelves, along with some cleaning cloths and various files.
Arranging the items he wanted within hand's reach on the table beside the chair, he moved along to the opposite wall and carefully felt around so he wouldn't accidentally slice himself on anything sharp. After a moment, his hands freed a short sword stacked in the corner, one with a terribly dull blade.
With his prize, he retreated back to his chair and settled down with the coarsest file and begin the slow and steady process of sharpening the weapon.
...
Buffy huffed loudly as she opened Angel's office door and stormed in, "Damn, I must be getting out of..." Her sentence faded out as she realized her husband wasn't there to listen. Sensing he wasn't in the office, she didn't bother to look. Instead, her feet carried her down the corridor to the nursery for a quick check there before poking her head into her office just to make sure. When her search resulted in no found husband, she shook her head and pulled her phone out of her pocket.
Punching in his number, she waited for him to answer.
And waited.
And waited.
The answering machine picked up and she hung up before immediately redialing.
On the third time, she left a message demanding to know where he was.
"Damn it Angel." She grumbled as she paced and tried to think where he could have wandered off to. "I told you to keep the damn phone with you."
Despite the fact the building was considered safe, she still carried an inherent worry about her sightless spouse. He couldn't see an impending attack, wouldn't be able to defend himself if someone or something was trying to hurt him. The fact he was vulnerable upped her usual concern to a much higher dosage.
After a fifth attempt to call him, Buffy took action.
First she called Cass, as her spouse had a bad tendency to end up in the medical wing of the building, but the medic assured her that Angel wasn't in her office or the Med-ward.
Somewhat relieved, the second call was to the front desk, which the receptionist denied seeing him leave the building.
Her third call was to the Cafe, hoping Angel had wandered down for a sandwich. When no one there reported seeing him, she hung up with a knot in her gut.
'Where the heck are you?' She wondered not for the first time that week.
After several calls to friends and a peek into the dorms where the kids were being entertained revealed nothing, her last call was to Marie, to get the senior slayer calling all the posts in the building and do a daisy-chain search.
If that failed, she knew a in-person search of all rooms and floors would be next, and Angel would hope he stayed missing when she found him.
...
"Damn it Angel." The angry blonde slayer muttered as she slammed the sub-basement door and headed to the elevator to re-check the offices.
It had been nearly half an hour since she'd found her husband missing, and she was still no closer to finding him.
Her finger pressed down harder than necessary on the penthouse button on the elevator panel as she took a few deep breaths, trying to calm her frayed nerves.
"I'm going to kill him." She muttered a moment before her phone rang from the back of her jeans pocket.
With her heart suddenly in her mouth, Buffy dug the screaming mobile out and pressed the answer button without even looking at the screen.
"Angel?" She automatically answered, hoping he'd finally return one of her 15 calls.
"Sorry, not Angel." The slayer on the other end of the line responded.
Before Buffy could deflate that it wasn't her husband, the young woman continued, "But we did locate him."
"What?" The blonde demanded, "Where!"
Marie explained for a moment about the slayers guarding the armory on the 2nd floor reported he'd come in a few hours ago, and that he hadn't left yet.
"Thanks Marie." Buffy clipped out before she hung up and smashed her finger down onto the number two on the panel a few moments after the elevator had reached the top floor. As she rode back down, her thoughts turned to how very dead her spouse was able to get for ignoring her calls.
Just under two minutes later, Buffy stormed down the hall towards her destination, about ready to rip her husband in half.
As she neared, the two guards hanging by the door decided to take a quick break and fled down the hall as they noted the mask of anger of her face.
All the slayers in the building had seen the married bosses go at it at one time or another, they learned fast to get out of the way.
Punching in the code and pushing the heavy metal door open, she immediately spotted the MIA man as he sat non-nonchalantly in the corner with a whetstone in his right and a sword in his left hands.
He turned his head towards her as she walked in, not seeing the hard line of her mouth but hearing the familiar thumping of her heart and smelling her enticing scent. His lips pulled into a smile as he addressed her, "Hi Beautiful, classes run late?" His hands kept moving with a steady motion, the sound of stone and steel repeating as he worked.
Still fuming, she answered bluntly and with an acidic glare, "I've been calling you."
Despite not having eyes to see, his ears picked up on her furious tone immediately. Abruptly, he stopped sharpening the sword in his lap as he answered, "I have it in my pocket, it hasn't rang in hours."
"I asked you to do one damn thing Angel, keep your phone on, and you can't even do that?" Storming over to him, she unceremoniously dug into his pants pocket and ceased the device. Opening the cover, the phone remained black. "Big surprise, it's off." She gritted out, beyond pissed at his carelessness.
"I turned it on." He automatically replied, getting defensive under her verbal assaults. "I made sure of it."
Hitting the power button, the phone lit up for a few seconds, beeped twice, then shut down before the turn of process completed. "Those beeps mean the battery is dead." She muttered, realizing he'd actually done exactly what she'd asked but hadn't known the cell had died in his pocket. It wasn't like he could see the screen to know the battery light was blinking.
"Oh." He replied, looking sheepish, "I'm sorry Buffy, I didn't know. I heard the beep but assumed it was a text. Can't exactly read those at the moment and I knew you wouldn't send me one, so I didn't bother checking."
She exhaled, much of her anger blowing out with her breath. "No, don't apologize, it's not your fault. I overreacted and was being a complete bitch." Leaning over, she ran her fingers through his hair and pressed her forehead to his. "I'm sorry I snapped at you, it was uncalled for."
"You weren't being a bitch, you were worried." He said quietly, knowing his wife better than she knew herself sometimes. He knew what worry and agitation did to one's attitude, he wouldn't fault her for being afraid for him. If she had been the blind one and he unable to get in touch, he'd have gotten worked up too.
"Still." She insisted, "I could have given you the benefit of the doubt instead of immediately thinking you'd ignored me."
His lip pulled up a bit as he leaned back, his face pointing towards hers, "Well if you're insisting on penance, I might me willing to forgive you, for a price."
One look at his face and she knew he was up to no good, but since she was still feeling like crap for blowing up at him for what turned out to be nothing, she gave in. "What will it cost?"
"Well, my lips are getting a little dry." He baited.
Although actually being eager to kiss him, she rolled her eyes at her spouse, knowing somehow he'd know it. As much as she'd been angry with him a few moments ago, she'd also been worried sick, seeing he was ok led to much relief. He was the same old stubborn-bullheaded lecher she knew and loved.
Despite the fact the building was very secure, Buffy always had a speck of worry lingering in the back of her mind that could easily be grown into a full blown case of panic. It was no secret Angel had a lot of enemies, many of which would be thrilled to use his blindness as a means to capture him. As a secondary cause of anxiety, her husband was famous for ending up in the Med-Ward for one reason or another. That alone was reason enough for her to get antsy when he went missing for any length of time.
He grinned as her lips sank against his, tasting the apology she was offering with her tongue, the best form of apology without using words as far as he was concerned.
When the deep lip lock ended, she leaned back and looked down at him, "So how much is this apology going to run me?"
His smile said enough, "I think you're paid in full, but we can always work out the interest in bed tonight."
She shook her head and rolled her eyes again, fondly. "You're such a Lecher. Anyways, what are you doing in here anyways? We have undergrads for the grunt work." She mocked as she noticed he was sharpening swords, a task she hadn't seen him engaging in for a long while, at least not since Katie was born.
He shrugged, "I needed to do something, and I don't need my eyes for this." He ran the whetstone along the edge of the metal, listening to the perfect tone of steel and stone as they sang in harmony. "I can hear when I have the right pressure and angle, and feel is the best method to checking sharpness, eyes can play tricks." He offered, finding his rhythm again.
She watched for a moment, glad he'd found something to entertain him, she knew he'd been feeling useless lately.
"Want to try?" He asked as he felt her eyes on him.
"Sure." She accepted, settling down into his lap when he'd shifted and motioned for her to sit.
"Close your eyes and open your ears." He whispered as he wrapped his arms around her, he placed the sword and stone in her hands with his guiding them, "Just listen for the ring, you'll hear it when you've got it right." He told her as he moved their shared right hands holding the whetstone along the length of the blade.
Buffy grinned and shut her eyes as she felt the rumble under her palm and heard the sweet ring of sharpening steel. It had been far too long since she'd enjoyed the simple pleasure of sharpening a sword, mostly since in her youth she'd found it boring and tedious.
"I hear it." She spoke as Angel's hands fell away and she moved on her own.
He grinned as he listened, both enjoying the moment and the simple warmth of his wife's body in his lap. Her scent was strong in his nose and the sound of her heartbeat chorused along with the ring of steel and stone.
After a few minutes, she could understand how he'd been down here for hours already, the repetitive motion was both mesmerizing and soothing. Almost in a trance, she let her arms move on their own.
Twenty minutes later, Angel felt the edge of the blade and smiled, "Feels perfect." He told his wife, running his thumb against the edge and liking the results.
Before she could respond, his stomach rumbled loudly, reminding him and informing his wife that he'd missed lunch while sharpening the afternoon away.
Placing her sword down on the pile of newly sharpened blades on the shelf, she forced herself from her husband's comfortable lap, "Ok, let's call it a day and go grab the kids for some late lunch, or possibly early dinner."
With both mind and belly liking the sound of that idea, he stood and reached for his white guide cane, "Lead the way."
...
The sun was low in the sky, but still resting comfortably above the horizon, it's red and orange beams washing over the white ground and though the naked branches of the barren trees, giving the pale world a soft candlelight glow.
Leaning her head against her husband's arm and holding the same hand in both of hers, they strolled at a slow and meandering pace through the still busy park.
It hadn't snowed in a few days, but for the first time in a week the temperature outside was tolerable at 45 degrees F. Cabin fever drove the snow-bound masses out to enjoy a little fresh air before the next pending storm.
Giles had requested time with his grandchildren, and so Buffy and Angel took the opportunity to release a bit of their own cabin fever by going for a walk though the park. With patrols over and the demon activity level at an all time low, the need for some outside time was high.
A good deal of Ohio's population was thinking similarly.
A group of college age young men were engaged in a snowball war, a few couples smooched under trees as they snuggled close for warmth, families build snowmen and forts to keep little ones entertained, dogs chased one another in the fenced in area off to the left, sending tuffs of snow into the air as they played. The elderly of Ohio, for the most part remained inside to escape the chilly temperatures.
Normalcy radiated around her, letting the whole supernatural thoughts in Buffy's mind just fade away. It was the kind of evening that made all the supernatural aspects of her life seem like a crazy TV show she'd fallen asleep during and dreamed she was part of.
Turning her head to the side, she gazed up at and gave her husband a quick scan. 'I wonder what he's thinking about." Curious to know how it must feel to be without vision with so much activity going on and not being able to see it. 'Like hearing the soundtrack for a movie but the screen doesn't show the picture?'
Angel's dark liquid chocolate eyes were hidden behind a pair of reflective sunglasses, hiding his sightless gaze behind a mirrored finish. However, his mouth was completely visible, letting her see the slight uplift at the corners that usually happened when he was in a content mood.
Her eyes turned to the sounds of a high pitched laughter, a little girl being tickled by her father. It brought up memories of Angel playing with their own daughter, as well as older memories of her playing with Hank. A frown crept over her mouth as her hand moved unconsciously over her belly; the fluffy winter coat did nothing to prevent the memories from sinking into her mind. She hadn't thought much about Hank over the last few months, mostly on purpose. Taking a bullet in the gut because of her own father wasn't one of her fondest memories.
As they walked, Angel's head turned towards her, more out of reflex than for need of sight, his forehead wrinkling as his brow creased, "Is something wrong?" He asked, squeezing her hands within his larger one.
A smile tickled the side of her lips, 'Even if he can't see my frown, he can still somehow feel it.'
Shaking off her thoughts, she shook her head, and then remembered he couldn't see the action. Instead, she untangled her fingers from his and slipped her arm behind him, under his coat to rest along his back, hooking it around his waist and leaning in closer for both comfort and warmth, "Not at the moment, so don't jinks us." She teased, feeling him relax as he wrapped am arm around her and they continued their stroll though the park.
…
It was barely after 4:30 pm when the sun sank below the horizon, letting darkness quickly rush in to take the place of the retreating light.
The living vampire had no visible queues of the shift between day and night, but he didn't need his eyes to see it. Although sunlight wasn't as strong in the winter than in the summer at their northern latitude, Angel could still feel when the subtle warmth left his cheek. There weren't any insects chirping to signal nightfall, but the drop in human outdoor activity was noticeable, the park had grown silent. To his sensitive ears, the hum of the streetlamps igniting was noticeable, yet not annoying. The scent of the world at night was his most accurate measurement, the strong powerful scent of the sun was gone now, replaced by the haunting smell of the moon. If asked, Angel wouldn't have been able to describe the difference between the sun and moon as scents, it was a part of the demon he wasn't privy to, the raw demonic knowledge too animalistic for a human mind to decipher.
Taking a deep breath of the cold night air, a scent struck out stronger than the rest.
Angel stopped dead in his tracks, Buffy nearly walking into him at the abrupt halt.
"Angel?" Buffy questioned, but he held his arm up to signal quiet.
Her instincts turned up a few notches, her 'slayer senses' reaching out for what had triggered her husband's caution.
"Something is watching us." He whispered, his blank eyes turning left and right as his ears, nose and demonic senses scanned for the enemy that he could smell drifting on the breeze. He would never forget the stink of dead flesh, it had been a part of him for 250 years. No amount of baths and soap could remove the scent of a corpse.
Buffy hadn't noticed the feeling of being watched until her lover pointed it out, now it crawled over her skin like roaches.
Her stake slid out of her waistband as her sharp hazel-green eyes scanned the darkness surrounding them, but the shadows were too thick to be penetrated without extra light. Thick clouds covering the sky were threatening snow and also blocking the meager light supplied from the moon and stars.
"Three over there." Angel whispered, discretely pointing to their right, "About four that way." He continued, pointing left, "At least another two behind us."
Buffy tried to see where he'd indicated, but couldn't make out a thing in the thick gloom.
They didn't need to wait long until a growl rolled towards them from the shadows, soon followed by around ten vampires.
Instantly, worry stuck Buffy. Normally ten vampires against them would have been laughable, but Angel was blind, which threw the odds well out of their favor.
The vamps circled around them as Angel positioned against Buffy's back, his blank stare focused on the nearest demon.
"Stay behind me." She whispered to him, wanting to keep him as protected as possible as she fought. The last thing she wanted was to be separated with him defenseless.
Angel didn't hide from fights, nor was he going to start now. Slipping a stake out of his coat pocket, he waited for an opening.
It was debatable whether the first attacker is either the bravest or the dumbest in a fight, but either way, Buffy moved forwards to meet him and quickly dusted the demon before his feeble attack could even reach them. However, his buddies soon followed behind, thinking they would have better luck in numbers.
While she was engaged in fighting two of the vamps, she realized Angel had moved away from her and was grappling with his own attackers.
"Angel!" She called out, trying to fight her way back over to him, but two more demon's replaced the ones she'd staked and were pushing her further from her husband.
Three of the vampires circled around Angel while he stood motionless in the center, his ears, nose and demonic senses painting him a fairly vivid image of the world around him.
"Check it out, this one's blind." One of the fang-faced men taunted, "Bet we could have some real fun with him."
"Too bad." A once pretty brunette added, "I so love to see the look of fear in a man's eyes while I drain him."
Angel ignored the talking, or more exact, he ignored the words themselves and focused on the sound. Vampires lacked heartbeats, but he could hear their footsteps and voices well enough to estimate their position.
His grip on the stake in his hand tightened as he waited, feeling the vibrations in the ground as the taunting vamp moved in for the kill.
The moment the demon's fingers brushed Angel's jacket, his arm shot out and plunged the wood though the center of the vampire's chest.
Of course, that removed 'surprise attack' from his arsenal.
Outraged at seeing their teammate dusted, the two remaining cursed him and charged, conveniently making enough noise that Angel could almost see exactly where they were though sound and scent.
Ducking a savage punch as his face, Angel swung himself down and rolled into his attackers, knocking them both off their feet and bringing his stake down on the closest.
While the female exploded into ash, the remaining male vampire growled and kicked the stake from Angel's hand.
Angel suppressed a growl of pain at his throbbing fingers as he strained to hear where the last demon facing him was going to attack from.
The realization there had been another vampire behind him came as said demon wrapped a thick arm around Angel's neck in a choke-hold, yanking the tall man backwards against the cold hard chest of the creature.
Instantly, the living vampire drove his elbow backwards and into the sternum of the vamp, causing the fang faced being to cry out in pain, but not to loose his grip. As one of the undead, a blow to the chest didn't interrupt airflow as it did with a breathing being.
Stomping down on the vampire's foot and at the same time whipping his head back against the vamp's nose, Angel felt the vampire's iron grip release under the painful assault and he quickly dashed away, hoping he was moving towards an open area and not a tree.
Angel knew he wasn't on the paved path that criss-crossed the park anymore, the ground beneath his feet was uneven with snow, which made keeping his balance difficult. The scent of rotting flesh flared in his nose the moment before the vampire grabbed him again.
Spinning with the momentum of the demon, they both dropped and rolled in the snow covered ground, Angel's twisting to keep the demon's snapping fangs away from his neck. The scent of wood entered his nose and then he felt something jabbing out of the snow and into his back.
With a demonic shove, Angel threw the vampire off him and ran his fingers though the packed snow beneath him.
Both vampires grabbed him suddenly, yanking him back to his feet with jarring speed.
"I hate fast food." The dark skinned former human growled as he opened his mouth to take a chunk of neck out of his captive.
"Then chew on this." Angel gritted out as he plunged the stake that had been kicked away from him earlier and snatched from the snow a second beforehand into the non-beating heart of his enemy.
With wide shocked eyes, the vampire started down at the blind man that had just killed him before disintegrating into dust.
The second vamp tried to escape, but Angel was faster, sinking the sharpened wood between the retreating vampire's shoulder blades. It exploded in a cloud of dust.
"Angel!" Buffy's panicked voice yelled out a moment before she finished staking her own demons, his senses flared at the warning, searching for the source of the threat.
He felt the wind before him shifting and heard the distinct whistle of something flying though the air. As he'd once done before, this time without the benefit of sight, he turned and snatched the bolt from the air the moment before it sank into his chest.
Pounding footsteps from behind him alerted him that his wife was running towards him, the clicking of a crossbow being reloaded came to him from his left, from where the bolt had been shot a moment before.
Taking a deep breath, he realized the foe was downwind of him, making it impossible to smell where it was.
"Jack the Slayer killer." The vampire with the now loaded crossbow said aloud as he aimed the projectile at the slayer rushing towards him, it was all Angel needed to pinpoint location.
Angel threw the bolt in his hand one foot lower than the vibrations sounding from the vampire's voice-box, and the wooden tipped bolt sank deep into the demon's chest, piercing the heart and ending the eternal creatures existence on Earth.
Buffy stopped abruptly as the demon she was running to kill burst into dust, her wide eyes turning towards her husband who was standing still as a statue, his face set into deep focus as he tried to sense other threats.
Looking around into the darkness, she saw no more vampires, nor could she feel the uneasy weight of watching eyes anymore. Taking a deep breath, she blinked and looked back over at her husband, trying to figure out how he had managed to defeat his opponents while unable to see them.
"How did you do that?" She questioned as she walked up to him, her eyes scanning him over for any signs of injury.
Relieved she sounded unhurt, he moved towards her and wrapped an arm around his wife, figuring feel would be a more accurate measure of 'fineness' than any other means. A slight smile pulled at his lip as he answered her astounded sounding question, "Most of them were loud and stank bad enough to not need eyes to know where they were."
Disbelieving his nonchalance attitude about fighting blind, or more shocking to her, catching a crossbow bolt with his hands while unable to even see it, she just shook her head. "I can't believe you did that."
Pretending to look hurt, he smirked, "You're right, I totally should have them them eat me...what was I thinking?"
"Asshole." She play-pushed him, looking him over again before snagging his hand to pull the sliver of stake out of his palm. As she worked the shard of wood free, she glanced up at him, watching him as he observed her without eyesight. "I meant that, that was amazing. I've done a few training exercises with a blindfold, but what you did...I can't believe you did that." Seeing him moving and reacting as if he hadn't been visually handicapped stirred a huge well of relief into her system, a great deal of her worry for his safety died upon seeing how very not-defenseless he actually was.
A smile pulled at his lip, a good deal of confidence had come back in those few moments of fighting. He felt a renewed sense of his purpose in life, like a once missing piece had come back to him. That thick cloak of uselessness was sliding off his shoulders now that he'd proven to himself that he was no less the man he'd been with eyesight.
As the sexy as hell confident smile washed over his lips, Buffy realized that shocked amazement she'd felt was rapidly becoming something far more hungry.
Angel wasn't surprised when his wife's hands grabbed a hold of his jacket and pulled him down closer to her, nor had he unexpected her mouth invading his. The scent of her growing arousal had been very much in his forethought, his own was steadily putting pressure against his zipper.
Pulling his face back just enough to get a few words out and to suck greedily at his mate's pulse point, Angel whispered about locating them a more private location. They were both getting heated, despite the dropping temperature, and were already tugging at each other's clothing.
As eager as they both were to be rid of their clothing and experiencing some skin-to-skin contact, neither had any wish to be incarcerated for doing so in a public space. Although there were no witnesses they could see currently, that circumstance could change at any time, and neither of them wanted to pay much attention to their surroundings at the moment, not when all they wanted to focus on was what was hidden beneath each other's clothes.
Suppressing a groan of frustration, Buffy quickly looked around before yanking her husband towards a restroom near the playground. Pushing open the woman's door, she backed her spouse into the handicap stall and locked the door behind him.
As their clothing puddled around them and their bodies merged, Angel decided that despite all his limitations, life was still pretty damn good.
...
Several days later:
Cassidy looked over the scans again, for the fourth time trying to discern where the problem was located. After an hour of examining every pixel, she finally came to the conclusion that what she was looking for just wasn't present in the image.
Biting her lip, she thought about her diagnosis.
Taking a deep breath and sighing it out, the medic picked up her phone and dialed Buffy's home number.
Three rings later, the blonde answered, a light tone in her voice. "Hey Cass, is something wrong?" When the doctor made a house call, her first thought was always a medical emergency. At least she knew it wasn't about Angel, he was sitting not ten feet away with the kids.
"Hi Buffy." The redheaded doctor replied, "No nothing's wrong, I just wanted to go over the results of your pap smear. If you have a few minutes today?"
Buffy glanced over at her husband, who was trying to look like he hadn't been listening in but failing miserably. 'Pap smear' was a code-word they'd developed to convey needing to speak privately without alerting a certain sharp eared living vampire around it.
"Right." The slayer nodded, "I've got some time, I'll come right down."
"Ok, See you in a few." Cass said before hanging up and looking at the scan again. Her red eyebrows creasing on how to tell Buffy what she'd found, or more accurately, what she didn't find.
"I'm just going to run to AI for a bit and see Cass, I'll be back in no time, just some girly stuff to take care of." She address towards her spouse, who was lounging on the couch with Liam coloring on his lap while Katie played with her dinosaurs on the floor. "Is that ok?"
When she leaned in to give her husband a kiss good-bye, he pulled her down onto the couch with him. "I'm not sure you need to keep making these appointments, I can tell you, you've got nothing to worry about going on down here." While saying it, he discreetly ran his hand against the seam of her pants, a wicked smile flashing across his lips as he though about how she'd tasted a few nights ago.
The visual of his hand caressing between her legs might not have been there, but the feel of his hand certainly was. Buffy inhaled a short breath in before clenching her legs together and throwing him a warning glare, 'No sexy play with the kids right here.' Her cheeks were burning already, even sightless his eyes conveyed way too much knowledge on her anatomy.
That predatory gleam was still flashing on his face when she stood and readjusted her posture, "I'll be back in an hour or so, promise."
"Ok, but if you need a second opinion, I'll be happy to supply it." He grinned out, finding the idea of playing gynecologist an interesting one.
"Pervert." She spoke under her breath, which she knew was enough for his hearing but not the kids. Rolling her eyes, she kissed her little ones and planted one on her big one before snagging her coat off the rack and heading out into the cold January air.
Taking the GTX would have been faster, but her driving skills were below average on the best of conditions, she wasn't going to take a chance crashing her husband's beloved convertible in icy roads and they hadn't gotten around to replacing the SUV yet. They didn't need to be down to cars.
The sidewalks were shoveled, which made the walk from her house to Angel Investigations safer than if she'd had to walk in the road. It was only a few miles, which was nothing for the slayer who had been so used to walking all over Sunnydale day after day.
Her mind was rolling over quickly, wondering what it was Cass needed to speak to her privately about. A spark of worry made her steps quicken as she hurried to speak to her friend.
Twenty minutes later, Buffy pushed open the Med-Ward door and stalking in, looking around for the red headed MD.
When Buffy found Cassidy in her office, she was shown a set of scans.
"What is this?" Buffy inquired, looking over the image and squinting at the colors and shapes.
"This." Cass explained, "Is a scan of Angel's optic nerves and the surrounding tissue."
A rock dropped in the blonde's gut, "Let me guess, it's not good." Had the tests come back positive, she knew Angel would already have regained his vision. Thus far, it's been almost a month since he'd lost it.
"That's what I called you in the speak privately about." Cassidy continued, "This scan, it's perfectly normal. All the damage he'd sustained in the Hellmouth has healed. I can find no medical evidence what-so-ever for Angel's vision to be impaired, let alone absent."
All Buffy could do for a few moments was blink as she digested what Cassidy was telling her. "What? I don't understand...are you trying to tell me he's faking it?"
"No." The doctor assured, "He's blind all right, I just can't figure out why. His eyes are perfectly functional, but somehow the signals just aren't getting where they need to go."
Pacing now, Buffy shook her head. "But how does a signal get blocked without damage?"
Cassidy leaned back into her chair and swiveled a bit, "I have a theory."
Buffy turned to look at her friend, "What theory?"
Cassidy took a breath and gave her what she had, "It could be mental."
"Mental?" Buffy repeated back, finding herself only able to question the doctors as of late.
"Yes, as in mentally he's making himself blind. Not consciously I might add, I'm sure he doesn't realize it, but the theory goes if you're able to convince yourself of something strongly enough, your mind can make it happen."
"But why would he do that?" Buffy questioned again, trying to wrap her own mind around the concept and the reasoning Angel could possibly have to want to rob himself of sight.
"Trauma and stress are usually one number one reasons for this kind of diagnosis." Cass added, her green eyes scanning over a medical textbook for conversion disorders.
"Angel's whole life is a series of trauma's, how am I supposed to know which one triggered this?" Suddenly the most recent came to mind, of one of the last images Angel had seen was the death of an infant, a death that he couldn't have prevented without dooming them all. The memory of the baby girl's last moments would never fade from her mind, but she hadn't actually watched the sacrifice take place. Angel had. He'd watched the newborn murdered. "I think I know what the trigger was." Buffy told the medic as she sat int he chair beside the wall and shared her theory.
Cassidy nodded and agreed, "Yeah, that sounds about right."
"So what does your book say about a cure?" Buffy asked, glancing over the doctor's shoulder to scan the pages of the book.
"Not a heck of a lot." The redhead signed, reading off the page, "Treatments for conversion syndrome include hypnosis, psychotherapy, physical therapy, stress management, and transcranial magnetic stimulation."
Buffy blinked and shook her head, "Is that it? Cass, I need something better, we both know Angel wont do any of those."
"I know." Cassidy agreed as she stood and glanced around her office while trying to devise a better treatment plan. "I'm thinking your best bet would be to talk to him about it. My hope is if he realizes he's physically fine and he gets the bottled up stress from witnessing that baby's death off his chest, his vision will return."
Nodding, Buffy hoped it was possible, but she also knew her spouse was highly stubborn and not exactly Mr. Here's-What-I'm-feeling. Getting him to talk about something when he wasn't ready was similar to trying to get blood out of a rock.
"I'll talk to him, I just hope he 's willing to listen." The blonde thanked Cassidy for the insight before headed back home to address her lover.
...
Buffy decided on the walk home to not come right out and expose Angel to Cassidy's theory. Like any battle, she wanted time to analyse the situation and plan the best course of action.
That night, Buffy had decided to wait until the morning, but Angel's voice interrupted her plan. "What's wrong? You've been quiet ever since you got back." Angel's fingers brushed over her abdomen, "Is everything alright in here?"
She wasn't about to let him catch on to the 'pap smear' code, but figured the present was as good a time as any to start her husband's psychotherapy. "After my tests, which were fine by the way, Cassidy and I got to talking about you, or more accurately, your eyes. Your most recent scans showed the damage is mostly healed, Cass thinks your vision should be improving." It wasn't a completely lie, so she didn't feel that bad about it.
She didn't need to see her spouse to know he'd frowned. "It's not." He denied instantly, a note of frustration filtering though him.
Not wanting to push too hard too fast, she backed off. "It doesn't matter, I love you no matter what." She kissed his lips lightly before resting her head on his chest, making herself comfy for the night.
After a moment of being rigid with discomfort, Angel relaxed under his wife's body. Talking about his blindness wasn't his favorite topic, and usually led to a drop in his happiness. However, tonight the discussion was dropped quickly enough he managed to reign control over his emotions.
He laid there for a while, listening to his wife's slowing heartbeat and those of his children across the hall.
When he finally shut his eyes for the night, a murdered face stared at him from the darkness, a baby girl who's eyes demanded to know why he hadn't saved her.
Deep within the recesses of his mind, he shriveled away from the accusing eyes. 'I wish I hadn't watched' He cried into his unconscious mind, the thoughts making it so he'd never see anything so painful again.
...
TBC...