The Journey, not the Destination

by Xena Avenger

An epically long fic. What happens in is? Starts with Angel fighting the dragon and Buffy helping deal with the consequences. Story begins at the end of 'Angel, Not Fade Away.' Buffy/Angel

77. In Sickness and In Hellmouth, Pt 2

March 31, 2009:

It was going to be a long, long night.

Angel brought home dinner after the frantic phone call and spoke with his wife about the ruined stove while the kids sat on the couch scratching their angry red bumps. The living vampire putting aside the thoughts of his bruised back while he'd tried to fix the charred and heat warped wire racks within the oven.

"Well, I'm calling it sufficiently slayed." He concluded after the examination, the roasted pieces beyond economic repair. 'How did it even get that hot in there?' He wondered, always fascinated how his wife managed to go above and beyond what should have been possible, in everything she did. Even at burning dinner.

Shifting hormones took the slayer's frustration and hurled it at the nearest speaking person, the resulting anger had Angel on the couch for a good portion of the evening, at least until the hormones had settled and she realized she wanted him beside her in bed to keep her warm.

Angel prayed the mood swings calmed down...fast. He couldn't remember Buffy being this bad when pregnant with either Katie or Liam...and this was still very early in the pregnancy.

As he lay awake that night, Buffy wrapped around him, he silently prayed it didn't get worse. If it did, he worried he wouldn't live long enough to see the birth.

The next morning, he'd risen early again and taught his two classes as well as Buffy's three. Before heading home, he stopped by the appliance store to check out new stoves. For the next two days after classes, he'd spent his evenings installing it.

Even the morning of April 1st, which had been a busy morning when a student in the intermediate summoning class has accidentally summoned a Hellhound in the cafe. When Angel had first heard the page over the intercom system, he'd thought it had been an April fool's day joke, the scratches on his arms had proved him wrong.

April 3, 2009

By today, he felt like absolute crap.

Every day started early and went overtime, constantly on the go, he wondered if he'd gotten 8 hours of sleep over the last week. The kids hadn't slept well and little tiffs with Buffy's moodiness hadn't contributed to much rest at night either. Any spare time he'd tried to spend with the kids, which were improving by the day at least. He was mildly glad Buffy hadn't been horny at all, he really didn't think he had the extra energy at the moment. There was nothing quiet as mind blogging to him as arguing with his wife then having her jump his bones later.

The only saving grace, was today was Friday. Tomorrow and Sunday neither he nor Buffy had training classes, so after he finished the last two classes today, he was home free for the weekend. He figured there would be chores, but at least a vacuum or laundry didn't have a mean left hook like some of his student.

He was looking forward to sleep the most.

He was surprised Buffy hadn't noticed his bruises, but she'd been rather busy this week, both with nursing the kids back to health and having a lot on her plate with sorting over the stacks of paperwork that accompanied running a slayer training center, especially handling his paper workload as well while he focused on the hands-on aspect. She might have spent the week at home and not physically training in the building, but work was still to be done. She was working on negotiating with the local police to involve Angel Investigations in any paranormal crimes. They'd had a good working relationship with Cleveland's police, which had brought in both jobs and publicity, which turned into money and more jobs. Both Buffy and Angel hoped LA's would be willing to link back up with the demon-hunting business that had been born here when Angel, Cordelia and Doyle had needed some extra cash.

Angel wasn't sure how the phone call between Kate Lockley, now the head of LA's 'Special Cases' unit, and his wife had gone, but now that he was thinking about it, he wondered if maybe he should have made the call instead. Terms between him and Kate had been a little shaky at best, he'd saved her life when she'd attempted suicide, but they hadn't exactly ended as enemies but not quiet friends either. He really hoped his wife's mood swings hadn't flared during the call, or else Angel Investigations would likely find itself unemployable in all of California.

Turning his mind back to what was in front of him, he tried to focus on the training session.

The flow of time was strange today, it seemed to both be flying by and standing still. The breaks between classes were over in seconds but the classes themselves were taking days.

His second to last class was brutal.

Most of the upper level graduates were moving to Spike and Faith's class schedules, as they were actively beginning patrols around the LA area to help reduce the abundant demon activity that had surged when the new Hellmouth had formed. LA was a much larger city then Sunnydale had been, meaning the patrol area was far greater than for just one Slayer team to efficiently cover in one night. At least 5 teams of six slayers each were patrolling currently during the evening hours, and one mobile unit during the days. They all hoped LA wasn't going to stay this active, but the Hellmouth currently had to be three times as powerful as Sunnydale's had been.

At least with the numbers of Slayers available, the local population of LA hadn't been too badly impacted yet. Another great thing about LA people, was their ability to see a demon walk by and not bat an eye, it was the city of movies after all, so that guy must have been an actor in makeup and they must be filming nearby.

For Angel, that meant the well trained slayers were off campus while he was left with those still becoming sufficient in battle, which meant he was taking quite a bit of abuse right now.

He didn't blame the students, he should be avoiding the blows, but to be honest with himself, he just didn't have the extra energy to be as attentive as needed for this job. After the last blow to the ribs, he called for a break. "Okay guys...ehh...girls...I mean ladies, why don't you take 5 and hydrate."

"Didn't we just do that?" One of the young woman asked, she looked familiar but he wasn't sure of her name, either Emily or Jackie...maybe Betty? His head wasn't cooperating today.

Angel tried not to slow his need for the break though the pounding in his skull.

"Take it easy on him, he's old, he needs a minute." Another girl addressed to the other.

Angel nearly blew a gasket at being called old, 'Old! I'm not old! Well, maybe technically, but shit, I only look...' He counted in his head, "...okay, so maybe 30's seems old when you're 16 or so...but I'm not old...one day maybe, if I live that long, but not yet anyways.'

"Well if you'd been up all night with sick kids and spent all day being punched by woman with super strength, you'd be tired too." He snapped back a little childishly, then cleared his throat to finish, "Anyways, carry on with practice, I'll watch from the bench."

Sitting was nice, he'd almost forgotten what it felt like to be off his feet.

He took another drink from his water bottle, trying to wet the dry patch at the back of his throat. 'Need to have Xander check the humidity setting in the building, it's too dry in here.'

As the training session continued, Angel was finding it harder and harder to concentrate.

Over the last few hours, he'd had a slight headache that had been growing steadily stronger. By now, his temples were drumming loudly.

Closing his eyes, he rubbed at the pounding under his temples and tried to will the pain away. 'There's no reason to have a headache, just go away!'

It didn't work.

'Damn it, I hope Buffy's in a decent mood tonight, I need a massage...and maybe a bottle of Jameson.' He thought as he tried to focus on the fighting slayers doing their drills a few feet away.

After what felt like a small eternity (and this was from a guy who spent 3 months trapped in a coffin at the bottom of the ocean), Angel forced himself back to his feet and gave a quick class review before sending the students on their way to wherever they were heading next before he dropped back onto the bench and leaned his head back against the wall.

Taking another drink to try and wet his still dry throat, the living vampire dreaded the thought of teaching his last class, which started in twenty minutes.

'I'll just rest my eyes for a few moments and I'll feel better by the time they get here.'

"Mr. Angel?" Someone asked.

He startled awake, "What?" He stood and noticed a group of young woman standing around him, "What are you doing in here?"

One raised a fine manicured eyebrow at him, "Umm... class?"

Angel blinked and looked at the clock, it was indeed 10 minutes past the hour. "Oh, right. I must have lost track of time." Moving towards the training equipment, he instructed the students to pad up and practice with staffs as a warm-up.

'I'll shake this in no time.' He told himself, confident he'd start feeling better real soon. He didn't have a choice, he had sick children and a pregnant wife at home.

However, as time progressed, he noticed he was feeling worse instead of better.

The dryness was turning into a cough, in which aggravated his headache, which was beginning to make him nauseous.

It was like a god damn game of dominoes, but instead of little blocks knocking over more blocks, it was one symptom triggering another.

'I'm not sick.' Angel told himself about twenty minutes after the last class began, fighting to keep paying attention to the young woman sparing with staffs while trying to keep his head attached to his shoulders.

'I have a demon, my demon doesn't get sick.' His headache ignored the statement.

'I just need some aspirin and about 9 hours sleep, then I'll be fine.' He assured himself, figuring he was just overworked and over tired. 'I'll just take a nap when I get home.' He thought, closing his eyes.

A few seconds passed before his name was loudly spoken into his ear as a hand shook his shoulder. The smell of something very strong rushed though his senses.

His eyes popped open, having not noticed they'd been closed, to find Cassidy's bright green eyes watching him with concern.

'Cass?' He wondered, 'What's she doing here? Did someone get hurt?' Looking around, he realized his students were clustered around and watching him, and he was laying against the wall on the floor.

"What happened?" Angel managed to ask though the dizzy feeling that rushed over him as he pushed himself upright to get the pressure off his tailbone.

"You fainted." Cassidy responded before asking, "How long have you been experiencing symptoms?"

'Fainted?' Angel thought, trying to remember what had just happened, "I what? No, no I'm fine. I don't have symptoms of anything, maybe I tripped, hit my head."

His attempt to rise was cut short by the wave of nausea that almost washed him flat again.

The red headed medic sent him a bland expression, "You didn't trip, you collapsed and were unresponsive for about 5 minutes, even with external stimulation you didn't wake until I stuck a vial of smelling salts under your nose. I have several eye witnesses that all agree on that."

Tightening his jaw, Angel glanced over at his students, who were all watching him with nervous curiosity. It wasn't the first time he'd dropped during class, apparently then hadn't been the last either. He hoped it was this time.

"Okay, fine. I took a quick deep nap. I'm tired and have a headache." He grumbled, pushing the nausea aside and forcing his feet under him. He hated looking weak, especially in front of those he was supposed to teach survival skills to.

Despite not wanting to, Cassidy grabbed an arm and helped yank him up to his feet. "Well then I insist you come with me to the Med-Ward so I can get you something for the headache."

Pulling his arm back, firmly but not unkindly, he shook his head before thinking otherwise, "Later. I'm in the middle of class."

"Class ended ten minutes ago." One of the closer students pointed out.

Frowning, Angel looked at his watch and noticed over an hour had passed, class was indeed over. "Oh, well, then have a nice weekend and make sure you take a few minutes each day to practice." He addressed the rubbernecking slayers.

Seeing the teacher awake and there was no more 'action', most finally began moving to collect their belongings and head out for the weekend.

Now that classes were over, Angel figured he was free to start his weekend too, and hopefully get a massage, he needed one even more now that his back was sore from his 'deep nap' on the floor.

The medic crossed her arms over her chest as he made to leave, "I wasn't kidding Angel, I need to run a quick test or two before you leave here."

He was about to put up a good defensive speech when a bout of dizziness nearly brought him to the ground again, Cassidy's strong arms around his waist the only thing keeping him upright.

'Fuck!' After a second, he grumbled, "Fine. Two minutes."

A short time later, Angel was looking grumpy as he sat on one of the numerous cots in the Med-Ward. He was mildly surprised he didn't have a favorite yet judging by how often he seemed to be occupying one.

Cassidy whisked over to the storage cabinets on the wall while he drummed a finger on the edge of the bed, wanting to get out of here but mildly afraid he'd fall over if he moved too fast.

The headache was still thumping in his temples and his throat was getting drier by the second. Although it was more tolerable now, the nausea wasn't gone either. 'I'm tired, sore and I forgot lunch, that's why I feel like shit.' Angel told himself as he waited for Cassidy to collect her torture devices -she called it medical equipment- but it was really the same thing.

"Okay, just a few quick pokes." The medic promised as she returned with the thermometer and a syringe.

Angel growled as she stuffed the temperature taking device in his mouth under his tongue then had him make a fist as she tied a band around his forearm and inserted the needle into a bulging vein.

"Can I go now?" Angel asked impatiently around the tool when the thermometer beeped.

Cass sent him a 'don't be a jerk' stare as she finished drawing the blood sample and taped a piece of gauze over the tiny hole. "You'll be dismissed when I say so, not before."

She knew he wasn't trying to be a jerk, just naturally intolerant of medical treatment, so she ignored his childish sigh as she took the thermometer and glanced at the numbers.

'Shit' The medic thought as she read the fever showing in the numbers, '102.3 F, I knew it, he is sick.' Without her face or voice betraying her thoughts, Cassidy held up the vial of blood she just drew and pointed at him. "Don't go anywhere until I get this tested."

Angel rolled his eyes but made no move to rise, he just didn't have the ambition. "Fine, hurry up, I have places to be." He muttered as he shifted to lay down on the cot, figuring he'd get a few minutes of resting his eyes in before he could head out. He briefly thought of calling Buffy, but decided against it, it would only worry her to find out he was in the Med-Ward...again. On the other hand, she'd been furious at him for not calling the day he'd helped fight the Hellhound and came home with scratches on his arms.

Cassidy moved quickly across the room to the blood analyzing machine, glad the piece of equipment wasn't needed very often. She punched in a few keys on the keypad then inserted the blood filled vial into the slot. When she'd first trial tested Angel blood in the machine a few years back, the results had gone haywire, due to his former status as a vampire, but by now she has the kinks worked out and the reading were pretty accurate.

Judging by the relaxed position of Angel stretched out on the cot, she figured she had the half hour the machine needed to give her a complete blood analysis.

...

*Ring*

Buffy glanced over at the phone on the far wall while she wiped the spots of spilled juice off the kitchen table. Tossing the rag down on the tabletop, she rounded the chairs and snagged the corded kitchen phone off the hook, "Hello?"

"Hi Buffy, it's Marie." A familiar voice spoke over the line.

"Hey Marie, how's everything going?" The teacher asked the former student, who was now in charge of her own slayer team on the Hellmouth.

"It's all good here, the groups are coming together well, the patrols are keeping pace, no serious injuries yet. Spike and Faith are behaving, surprisingly." The younger slayer summarized. "To date, the only casualties have been the non-human kind."

"You're doing great Marie, to the point that I'm actually kinda jealous." The elder slayer said with a smile.

Buffy loved being a mom and a wife, but being a slayer was something that called to her just as loudly. Part of her missed being on the front lines every night, being the only defense between the unsuspecting humans and the demons. Not that her life was boring now, but she remembered what it was like being the 'chosen one, the only girl in the world with the power to destroy the demons'. Being semi-retired was both a blessing and a curse. At least when the kids got better she told herself she could start scheduling herself into patrols a few times a week, at least until she started showing. Patrolling with a big pregnancy belly tended to be frowned upon by pretty much everyone.

After another few seconds of small talk, Marie asked casually, "By the way, how's Angel? I heard some chatter about the incident today."

Any trace of smile drained from Buffy's lips as she gripped the phone tighter, "Incident? What incident?" The fact Angel should have been home by now hit her suddenly, he was late. He always called if he was running late.

Marie was caught off guard by the tone of her superior's voice, "Umm, well..." She told Buffy what she'd heard about Angel's last class, his semi-fainting spell. "I'm sorry, I thought you knew already."

"No, I didn't, but thanks for letting me know. If you don't mind, I'd like to call Cass and see what's going on." Buffy said as casually as she could, but her heart felt like it was beating twice as fast as usual.

The moment she hung up with Marie, she was dialing the Med-Ward.

...

Cassidy was finishing up the lab sequence on the blood analyzer when the main phone by the door began shrieking.

'Buffy.' Cassidy thought as she spared a look over at Angel, still laying prone on the cot across the room, now with an arm laid over his eyes.

Hurrying over to the phone, Cass grabbed it and answered with her best secretarial voice, "Med-ward, this is Cassidy speaking, how can I help you?"

"Is Angel there?" Buffy's no non-sense tone cut though the humor.

Sighing out the inevitable chewing out she'd get for not immediately calling Buffy, the medic answered, "Yes, he's here, but I can assure you he's fine...well, not fine enough to not be here, but fine enough to not need you running here."

"Cass." Buffy clipped over the line, wanting an answer, like right now, as to why her husband was in the medical facility.

"I got called into the training room by a few worried students. Angel fainted and was unresponsive for a few minutes, but regained full functions after I applied smelling salts. He's dizzy and fatigued, which means grumpy, but otherwise normal."

Now wasn't the time to mention a fever, that would just freak Buffy out.

"Dizzy and fainting aren't normal." Buffy pointed out over the phone, wanting to know what the problem was.

"Look, I'm still running diagnostics, I don't want to give you false info, which is why I was waiting for my tests to finish before calling you." The red head explained. "I have some suspicions, but I'd rather get all the evidence before sharing my thoughts."

Buffy was frustrated but nodded, "Okay, fine. Can I talk to him?"

"Let me see if he's awake." Cassidy answered into the line, but it wasn't necessary.

The arm not resting over Angel's face stretched out over his head and made a grabbing gesture, indicating he was awake and listening.

"Hang on, I'm transferring you to the phone closer to his bed." The doctor let Buffy know as she walked over towards the cot he was laying on, "Wife." She supplied as she laid the corded phone by the bed in his open hand.

"Thanks." He muttered, without moving the arm shielding his eyes, brought the phone to his ear and spoke into the mouth piece, "I'm not bleeding, broken, or dying."

Now free from the telephone, Cassidy headed back over to her equipment while Angel spoke to his wife.

After a moment of deflecting questions off himself to ask about the kids, Angel reluctantly informed his wife that he felt like crap but was fine and would be home soon.

Cassidy noticed the blood analysis was finally finished, hitting the print function caused a sheet of paper to eject from the side with the full details of the results. Scanning the printout with her eyes, she quickly found what she'd been looking for but hoping not to find. 'Damn, I hate being right.'

Under the 'viruses' section, the words Varicella zoster virus (VZV) stuck out like a sore thumb. 'Great, Angel did indeed catch chicken pox', as the virus was more commonly known.

The sarcasm slipped away as she realized this wasn't going to be fun for anyone involved.

Turning back around, she noticed Angel was still talking into the phone, but had risen like he was going to leave.

That wasn't happening now.

"Sorry Angel, test results are in. You failed. Please sit back down, you're going to be here for a few days." Cassidy told him as she got closer, noticing the fairly hostel look he gave when he realized what she was saying.

"What the hell are you talking about?" He demanded, not about to sign up for Med-Ward sleepovers again anytime soon.

Cass could hear Buffy's voice yelling something from the phone, obviously wanting to know what was going on.

Hitting the speakerphone function on the base so she wouldn't have to touch the phone Angel was holding, Cassidy informed them both, "Angel caught the chickenpox virus, I'd like to have him isolated and monitored for a few days."

"Like hell." Angel retorted in annoyance.

"Why isolated?" Buffy asked over the line.

Cassidy looked right at Angel as she spoke, "Because even though you have a demon sharing your body, your human side is technically immune compromised. The virus tends to present stronger in adults than in children, so I'd like to error on the side of caution until we know how your body is going to handle this."

"I can be there the moment a get a sitter here." Buffy stated, already thinking of calling Dawn and having Giles or Xander give her a ride, Angel had their only car, or she could walk fast...

"Buffy, I would be more comfortable if you didn't come here." Cassidy said not unkindly.

"What? Why?" Both Angel and Buffy asked simultaneously.

The doctor gave her reasoning, "I have no medical knowledge what having a demon sponsored immune system will do to the virus, plus while already immune compromised, Angel will be far more susceptible to other contagions. Ideally, isolation will protect him from further infections and also us from him, since the virus will likely be more aggressive with his lack of defenses. Also, although uncommon, Buffy, you actually can get the virus more than once. The chances are small, but catching the virus while pregnant can cause severe birth defects or fetal death. I'd really like to keep Angel isolated until I know what I'm dealing with and prevent additional patients."

It wasn't lost on Angel that Cassidy was keeping some distance now.

Buffy was silent over the phone, which also wasn't good.

At home, the slayer was torn. She wanted to be there for her husband, wanted to see for herself he was alright, but she also had her unborn to worry about now. Knowing the risks made her choice harder. After a few more seconds of fighting it over in her head, she spoke, "Okay, so Angel stays there for a few nights, just until you know he isn't overly contagious or getting worse, and I visit during the day and wear a mask or something."

Cassidy knew she wasn't going to get total control over the situation, she was dealing with two very head strong individuals, but agreed, if not temporarily, to the conditions.

Angel began cursing in Gaelic under his breath when he realized he wasn't sleeping in his bed tonight, nor getting a massage from is wife.

"Alright, you can call him in about twenty minutes in Isolation room 2." The doctor said before disconnecting. She wanted to get moving on the isolation thing, chickenpox was transferable via the air. She herself already had several inoculations against the virus, but it being Angel, she was going to error on the side of over-caution.

Ten minutes later, Angel was wearing only a loose pair of sweatpants as he paced the small room he'd been 'locked' in. Cassidy was getting some monitoring equipment while his anger burned just enough to make him forget he felt like shit.

When the medic returned, wearing gloves and a mask, he sent her an annoyed stare as he sat on the bed so she could apply a few sticky pads to his chest and set up an IV drip.

"Do I really need that?" He growled, not at all in the mood for being strapped into the equipment, or even being here at all. Hell, even Buffy's mood swings were preferable to this torment.

"It can't hurt, besides, it's just fluids and immune boosters right now. The virus can cause pneumonia, so I'd like to monitor your vitals overnight and have the option to administer medications if needed." Cassidy informed him, figuring better to add an IV now than later.

Try putting in an IV when Angel's demon is trying to eat you.

When she finished, she offered him two cups, a normal sized one filled with water and a smaller one with a few pills on the bottom.

"What's that?" Angel asked as he took the water, eyeing the suspiciously pills. More curious that thinking she's trying to poison him or anything.

"It's Zovirax, an antiviral medicine to help reduce VZV symptoms and some generic Tylenol."

"Sold." He snatched up the little cup eagerly enough, liking the idea of anything to ease the damn pain in his head.

After he swallowed the medication and emptied his paper cup, the phone on the wheeled tabled beside the bed began to ring.

Cassidy did a quick check of the equipment then left him to speak to his wife in private.

"How are you feeling?" Buffy asked over the phone, concern evident in her voice.

"Like I should be at home." Angel sighed out, "With you." Yeah he felt like crap, but not bad enough to be here.

Buffy would have liked him home too, but him being well came first, "Tomorrow, I'm sure Cass will let you leave, she's just being cautions."

"Yeah." Angel replied, a slight edge in his tone betraying his annoyance in the whole ordeal.

Buffy almost said 'I told you so' but decided it wasn't time...yet. When he felt better, it would be thrown in his face, not before. Worry and concern were great anti-gloating tools.

What neither knew, was Cassidy was busy ordering enough does of the varicella vaccine for all the slayers in LA, and getting another shipment of Zovirax.

There would be no chickenpox epidemic on Cassidy's watch.

...

Friday 11pm

Angel was restless.

He'd said goodnight to his wife and kids over the phone almost three hours ago, but still couldn't fall asleep.

As tired as he was, his body just wouldn't relax.

Absently he'd been rubbing his chest, it wasn't until he looked down at it he noticed the redness. 'Son of a...' He thought, remembering how the rash had broken out over on his kids skin before turning into a series of red pus filled blisters, it took days for the blisters to pop and crust over.

It had been hard enough keeping them from scratching, feeling the itch himself was maddening.

The throb in his head has ebbed some thanks to the Tylenol, but the headache wasn't gone.

Kicking the thin sheet off, he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, de-tangling the heart monitor line and the IV out of his way so he could stand and stretch his legs. The lines were attached to a wheeled coat-rack like structure, giving him the freedom to walk to the small barely suitable toilet built into the wall.

Relieving himself didn't help his restlessness, so he paced for a few minutes, at least until having to wheel the cart beside him annoyed him into stopping.

Cassidy had brought in a tray earlier with dinner, his stomach hadn't been interested then, but out of boredom he wandered over to it to take a look. Lifting off the covered dome reveled a now cold bowl of tomato soup and a half a grilled cheese sandwich, complete with congealed cheese and soggy bread.

It might have temped him if it had been fresh, but cold and soggy food wasn't on the menu for him tonight. Re-covering the lost meal, he shrugged. He wasn't hungry anyways.

The nausea was still present in the back of his mind, but overall he felt better than he had earlier. 'I could just leave, it's not like Cass actually locked the door.'

He tried the knob, and found it turned freely.

It would be so easy to walk out, head to the garage, get his car, be home in ten minutes. Snuggle up to Buffy in their bed.

'I'm probably not contagious anyways.' He told himself, 'The odds of the kids getting sicker from me or Buffy catching this are really small.'

But there were odds.

He thought about the little fluttering heartbeat on the ultrasound he'd seen a week ago today, the life he and Buffy had created together.

He already missed it, the sound of the heartbeat, the taste of the hormones pregnancy induced into his wife's kisses, the flush of color it brought to Buffy's cheeks.

Yes, he wanted to go home to that...but what if going home put those lives he cherished most at risk?

Angel sat heavily on the bed, exhausted and wishing sleep would find him for at least a little while.

'Fine, I'll stay, but I know it's a waste of time. I'll be better by morning.'

...

Saturday 2am:

Buffy hugged Angel's pillow closer to her, the lingering smell of him only lasting a few hours before his absence made sleeping impossible.

Sighing, she sat up and glanced over at the clock, the time late enough to be technically morning.

Knowing sleep wasn't going to return, Buffy kicked the comforter off and sat on the edge of the bed, her mind thinking about Angel, wondering if he was sleeping now.

'I bet he's awake, just like me.' She thought, looking over at the phone and wondering if she should call him.

'What if he is asleep and I wake him up?' The last thing she wanted was to disturb him, especially if he needed rest to help fight off the virus.

Figuring she might as well get something accomplished with this extra time, she was just slipping her robe on to head downstairs and read the pile of paperwork she still had to do when her cellphone made a quick beep.

'A text at this time? From who?' Buffy wondered as she hurried over to the device and tapped the screen.

'I should have known.' She thought with a smile as she looked down at the icon, a little picture of her Angel.

Beside his face were a few words. I love you.

About half way through the typed response, she deleted the message.

Instead of sending him a return text, she hit the call button. Had she known he had his cell with him, she would have texted him earlier to see if he was awake. Now that she knew he was, well, why not hear his voice too?

About half a ring later, her husband's tired voice sounded over the line, "Couldn't sleep either huh?"

"I got a few hours, not likely to get any more tonight. How about you?" Buffy asked, concerned he wasn't sleeping like he should be.

"Tried. Bed here sucks." He dodged the fact it was Buffy missing from his side that really kept him awake.

"I'll be over in the morning, Dawn said she was free to watch them until 11am."

Angel nodded, looking forward to it already. "It's a date then."

"Oh goodie, another date at the Med-Ward." Buffy jabbed, "I bet all the other slayers will be jealous."

The humor was lost on Angel, he was too tired to see it. "I know, I'm sorry. I promise we'll go on a real date night soon."

She went with it, "Like one of those places you can't bring kids and you need to wear a tie?"

"We could." Angel grinned to himself, "Or we could rent a hotel room for the night, clothing could be optional."

"Hmm, sounds tempting." She grinned back, already planning some after dinner desserts that had nothing to do with food.

When she heard one of the kids moving around outside her bedroom, she told Angel to wait and held the phone against her chest as she went to investigate.

A glass of water and a kiss later, Liam was back in bed and Buffy came back on. "Angel? Hello? Did you hang up on me?"

"Hmm?" The living vampire had been dozing, "Sorry, kinda drifted off for a moment."

"Finally getting sleepy?" She asked, hoping he'd finally get some rest.

"When you had the phone against your chest, I could hear your heartbeat. It was...relaxing." He said, still feeling relaxed but not wanting to stop talking to her.

"Oh?" Buffy asked, not having thought he'd be able to hear that over the phone, "How about this?" She moved the phone against her lower belly, wondering if he'd be able to hear their baby's heartbeat too.

After a few moments, she brought the phone back up to her ear, "Anything?"

"Maybe." He answered, "But not very well. The baby is still too small, it's quiet even when I'm standing next to you."

"Well, then I'll let you listen to mine for a little longer, then I'm going to tackle those files I still haven't read. Okay?" She asked, needing to get off the phone so he could sleep.

"Okay." He agreed, enjoying the sound of her heartbeat filling his ear as she put the phone back against her chest.

Less than 20 seconds later, he was asleep.

Buffy called quietly into the phone after two minutes of letting him listen, when she got no reply she figured he'd fallen asleep finally.

She whispered, "I love you" before disconnecting.

...

Monday morning, April 6, 2009

Over the following 48 hours, Angel spent a good deal of his time pacing the small confinement room. His fever, headache and nausea hadn't worsened, but nor had they vanished.

The few scattered spots that had appeared on his chest had multiplied into dozens more, with no signs of stopping as they spread across his body and to his limbs.

Between the constant itch, annoying headache and lack of apatite, Angel thought he might actually go insane.

Most of it was due to boredom.

He couldn't focus enough to read, draw or work, nor could be sleep away the time.

He'd laid down a hundred times on the small cot, tried just as many positions, but never seemed to find a comfortable spot.

Cassidy insisted he eat something, but every time he looked at food, he felt his stomach roll.

"Seriously Angel, if you don't start eating I will be forced to start IV feeding or tubing you." The medic had warned late on Sunday afternoon.

Angel had just scowled and forced himself to choke down a few saltines to appease her, which he then later threw up.

Buffy had visited him several times throughout the days, only staying away as to not risk catching a more aggressive version of the virus and endangering her unborn child or passing on any possible contagions to her immune compromised spouse. If the baby's health hadn't been a factor or his, she would have been at her husband's side far more often.

Instead of in person, she'd spent much of that time on the phone with him. At least if she couldn't be there physically, she could mentally.

The children had been officially evaluated by Cassidy on Saturday morning, the medic giving them a clean bill of health and no longer contagious after examining the healing sores that were now scabbed and crusting over. Some of the first to appear had already faded away completely.

The goal now was to keep them from getting sick again while their immune systems were recovering.

With the kids no longer confined to the house, Buffy spent a majority of her time at Angel Investigations so she could be closer to Angel, who was stuck in the Med-Ward until further notice.

There were no weekend classes to teach, so Buffy spent any non-family time organizing the schedules for the new recruits and finishing up the paperwork that had piled up.

'Well at least when Angel gets better I can tell him the good news that LA's police department has accepted our consulting offer.' Buffy thought as she signed the contract listing the terms of the agreement she and Kate Lockley had settled on.

...

The demon within was angry.

Vampires didn't get sick, mainly due to being dead by nature, but his host was living, his blood was usually enough to strengthen the demon, to give it the power it needed to fight off disease and heal wounds.

However, his host was increasingly weakening, not only from the sickness, but by neglecting food and rest as well.

It was getting harder for the demon to maintain his host's health. The sickness could not be contained, there was nothing the demon could do to destroy it.

'Blood' The demon thought, urging his host to feed, to drink strength back into his veins if he couldn't get sustenance though food.

Angel ignored the craving that shot threw him as he paced the small room. His mind trying to follow what Cassidy was saying while also trying to drown out the influence of his demon. That in itself should have worried Angel. He'd dealt with Angelus poking at his consciousness in the past, and that had ended when his soul merged and combined the two personalities, but it was different with the demon itself, there were almost no words, just strong emotions, urges and feelings. It was closer to having an animal share his brain than another person.

For the most part, his demon was usually quiet, unless he was in a life or death situation, but he sure as hell wasn't dying at the moment, although death didn't sound half bad judging on how he felt right now.

"Angel." The medic said louder, to get his attention, "I really think you should let me sedate you, you're not getting adequate rest on your own." Cassidy was getting worried, which meant she'd have to tell Buffy how poorly Angel was doing recently. His complete lack of appetite and virtually no sleep for the last few days were showing in his test results, he was going down hill fast.

"No." he grumbled, not about to give in just yet. "I don't need sedation, I just need to get the hell out of here." Angel was blind to reason by now, his body about ready to shut down on him. His brain was firmly planted on leaving, that going home was the only cure he needed.

The medic stood her ground, "You have two more days until the medications peak and you're no longer contagious, you'll be released into Buffy's at-home-care when that happens, not before."

A tickle in the back of his throat quickly turned into a cough, the kind that let you feel something loosen inside your lungs. As a matter of fact, he'd been coughing more lately, and it actually kinda hurt.

"Damn it Angel, you need to rest. I can hear the bronchitis making itself at home in your chest." The doctor pointed out, her worry he'd get worse solidifying into actuality.

"I don't want to rest!" He snapped, more from personal frustration than actual anger towards his physician. 'I want to go home. I want to kiss my wife and hug my kids.'

Cassidy was about ready to go get the tranquilizer gun just to get him stationary. "You're getting cranky-er, you really need to eat something. I have medication to ease the nausea."

"I'm not hungry." He bit out. He was actually starving, but his stomach wasn't exactly communicating well at the moment.

'Blood.' The voice in the back of his mind repeated, the craving coming back.

Angel almost asked Cass to bring him a bag of the red liquid, but the thought of sipping cold blood out of a bag made his nausea triple. He groaned in responce.

The red haired doctor sighed out in frustration. She could clearly see his agitation level growing while his strength was weakening. Even during his pacing, Angel was starting to tip over his own bare feet.

"I can hook you back up to the IV, it will hydrate you and get some much needed nutrients into your system. Just sit down for a minute and let me fix the tubing." Cassidy half asked, half ordered in the way doctors do, annoyed he'd unhooked the IV days ago but relieved he'd at least kept the IV line in his wrist.

"Don't touch me." He practically growled, halting the medic in her steps, something in his tone setting off an alarm bell in the back of her head. Cassidy suddenly became very aware that Buffy was several floor up at the moment, which was several floor too far to calm Angel down if he decided to vamp-out.

"Okay, fine, no IV." The doctor placated as she decided to just leave him be, at least until she had a Slayer bodyguard to back her up. She knew by now how fast Angel's demon could react when he was wounded or disorientate. In hind sight, she should have forced the IV back into him with Buffy's help yesterday.

Angel turned to watch the medic as she began moving towards the door, as she began moving away like prey.

Her heartbeat was elevated, he could smell the low simmering fear she was trying to tell herself she didn't feel, but a vampire knew that smell, almost as well as blood.

Something in the back of his mind moved forward suddenly, shifting his thought to those of the demon, the craving for blood pooling up to his conscious desires.

Cassidy hadn't been looking at him directly when his face shifted, but she did happen to turn when he moved. Her heartbeat spiked upwards.

"Angel, are you feeling okay?" Cassidy asked nervously, still inching towards the door of the confinement room, praying he answered her with words so she knew he was still coherent.

'Blood.' The thought pulled him towards the source of the warm fluid, his fangs tingling for the sweet hot liquid that pulsed within the veins of his prey. The scent of fear was on him now, strong and delicious. Cold bagged blood held no hunger appeal, but fresh from the source? His demon moved towards his dinner, mouth watering.

"Oh shit!" Cassidy exclaimed as she yanked the cot between her and Angel, ran the six remaining feet to the door, banged it open with her shoulder and spun around to slam it shut.

The moment the lock engaged, there was a loud thump against the door, followed by a furious snarling growl.

When the panting medic looked up though the small 3x5 inch security window in the center of the door, a bright golden yellow eye was gleaming wildly at her.

She reflexively jumped back before regaining her composure and making sure the door was indeed secure.

After a few moments, the angry vampire moved away from the immobile door to resume the restless pacing from earlier.

Angered and raged at being denied his meal.

Cassidy let out a breath and jogged towards her office, not at all enthused about the phone call she was about to make to Buffy's office.

...

It took less than five minutes before Buffy appeared down in the Med-Ward, and after a short 'Cass, I'll be fine' speech, she was heading toward the confinement door to face down the demonic side of her spouse.

'Damn it Angel, you and your 'I'm feeling better, really.' bullshit.' Buffy scolded herself , 'It's my fault, I've been distracted all week with this merger, I should have know he was lying and Cass did warn me he wasn't eating or sleeping much. Apparently listening to my heartbeat over the phone at night didn't give him the rest I though it did.'

Watching him pace the room gave Buffy a good idea now agitated he'd been, sending a bolt of anger into her for how much he'd been covering up his true feelings while he'd been talking to her over the phone. She hadn't known he was deteriorating this much and was kicking herself for not coming down here and literally spoon feeding her bullheaded husband.

However it was too late for that now, the demon was in control and her confidence in her lover was about to be tested again. 'He's sick and that's making him cranky, that's all, he'll calm down in a few moments' she told herself as she unlocked the door, giving Cassidy a brief nod as the medic triple checked the tranq gun she had loaded and ready in her hand, just in case.

Buffy slipped into the room, firmly pulling the door shut behind her as she faced her husband's vampire.

From here, she could honestly say he looked terrible. His skin had broken out into a rash, tiny itchy bumps had bloomed over his bare chest, his yellow demonic eyes were wild but also rimmed in dark bags, his cheeks and bumpy forehead flushed while the rest of his face seemed paler than normal, more sunken in.

"Okay, I'll be honest honey, you look like crap." She noted aloud, studying his face and not liking the feral expression in his eyes.

He snarled at her, hunger flashing in his narrowed yellow eyes, his lips pulled back over his fangs as a feral growl rumbled from his mouth before he lunged towards her.

"Angel." Buffy warned, spinning out of the way and praying hard he snapped out of this madness, and fast, as she really didn't want to have to hurt him, not when he was obviously sick. "You need to relax, I'm not letting you anywhere near me if you're acting all lungey-and bitey.

'Mine.' The demon raged, feeling betrayed his mate would move away from him, that she would deny him his right to her blood.

The wild look was still blazing in his eyes, so when he pounced again, she was ready. "You are NOT attacking your pregnant wife!" Buffy scolded as she grabbed the larger living demon and used his forward momentum to toss him over her shoulder. He flew a few feet before slamming into the cot and bouncing up on it's springs before crashing back down onto it.

The rapid motion flared his nausea, causing him to be sick into the barrel Buffy quickly lifted under his chin when he'd turned a Lorne shade of green. Luckily his stomach was already empty, so after the mess-less retching, a wave of exhaustion knocked him flat onto his back.

A growl escaping his throat sounded more like a whimper.

His mate's voice penetrated down though the fog of pain and disorientation, her touch giving him the energy to open his eyes again.

Her face was inches from his, her big hazel-green orbs wide with worry and concern. "Angel? Can you hear me?"

He could, but didn't really want to right now. Unconsciousness would be preferred, especially after trying to take a bite out of his mate.

It was no wonder she denied him, he was a monster after all.

The anger melted away, being replaced with a hollow emptiness that even his own mate no longer wanted him.

He turned away, pulling back from her touch.

Buffy's worry flared when he moved back from her, he never moved away.

Recognizing the emptiness in his eyes as a rerun of his brooding days, she sat in the bed beside him and forced him into a sitting position. "Hey, I told you to calm down, not roll over and die."

Putting her hands on his cheeks, she turned his face towards hers. "I love you and I trust you, but there is an 'acting crazy, do not cross' line in that statement."

He looked back at her blankly, and she knew the demon was doing the thinking still, not the man. Words weren't going to get though to him.

'Okay, well he's calm now at least, so here goes nothing.'

Using her body in place of speech, Buffy wrapped her arms around her lover's neck and chest and pulled him closer, turning her head to expose her scar to him.

The demon stiffened as his mate's arms moved around him, unsure of her intentions, at least until her face turned away from his, exposing her neck to his fangs.

His mouth watered instantly, the driving urge to drink returning.

His arms moved around her instantly, pulling her in closer as he inhaled against her neck, smelling his mate's scent.

"Gentle." She spoke to him, the word unknown to the demon, but when one of her hands moved to take his and placed it over her womb, he understood she was protecting her offspring, the seed of his host.

He would cause no harm to the seed, her young were as much his as they were his host's. The eldest of the offspring, she saw no difference between him and his host, she called him 'daddy', spoke to him as if she could control him.

And she had.

The small female spoke words to him he could not understand, yet he obeyed.

The demon did not understand it, did not comprehend the concept of love, but his host's soul bound within him let him feel it.

"Mine." The demon spoke, the claws of his fingers lightly brushing over the material of his mate's shirt, over the fluttering heartbeat of the seed growing within.

"Always." Buffy breathed out, feeling his mouth moving over her scar, his tongue lapping at the uneven skin.

He could smell her desire, almost taste her want under his lips.

His fangs nipped at her flesh, her ripple of pleasure bringing a growl of satisfaction from the depths of his chest.

"Angel." Buffy pulled herself closer, no longer wanting him to bite her because he needed it, but because she did.

Permission, it was what he'd been waiting for, and it had come in her tone as she spoke his host's name.

His fangs had been throbbing for her blood, and now they slid into her skin, sinking into the twin scar holes on her neck.

Buffy gasped in pleasure as he bit, the sensation rushing all over her, like her nerves were being switched on.

He felt it too, every cell in his body coming to life as he swallowed her life's fluid, one gulp, two, on three his tongue pressed against the wounds, his fangs pulling back to let the holes close.

Slayer healing worked alongside his gentle probes, the blood already coagulating as the punctures sealed themselves shut. He could have worked the vein open again, taken more, but there was no need. He would not fight her body's healing. The demon had needed her willingness to give her blood more than the blood itself.

Slayer blood was potent, a little went a long way.

Satisfied, he lapped away any leftovers that may have dripped free and nuzzled her neck again, enjoying the feel of her tremble against him.

Content, the demon's mind slipped back down within and let the man take back over.

Buffy knew when Angel was himself again, it was the apology that gave it away.

"For what?" She asked, pulling back just enough to look up at his face.

His eyes were brown again, the mask of the demon already faded from his features.

His lips trembled as he tried to keep them from pulling up, "For being lungey-and bitey?"

The snort that escaped her wasn't very lady like, but she didn't care at the moment, "I could do without the lungey, but bitey has its moments."

After a few seconds, the humor melted from his eyes, quickly replaced by another kind of hunger, he pulled her closer. Having her in his arms was suddenly too much, his body was too hungry for her to let her go now. He was sick, overly tired and starving, but Buffy's presence made all that fade away, it was just him and his wife, whom had been absent him his embrace for too many days.

"Angel?" She asked, unsure what he was thinking.

He kissed her neck then, the same lips the demon had used, the same gentle urgency, but the way her body reacted was so different.

When the demon wanted her, it was her blood he wanted, just blood.

Angel wanted everything.

Buffy would be lying to herself if she said being bitten didn't turn her on, but it was a different kind of sexual response. There was a certain level of desire and passion reserved for the demon and his needs, but with Angel the scale was so much greater. A game of battleship versus an actual navel war.

Her body responded to the demon, but her heart and soul joined in when reacting to Angel.

"I missed you." He spoke against her skin, his kisses along her neck making her forget to respond.

Her own body was badly craving her lover's presence, and now that he was right here, arms around her, his lips on her skin, her body reacted of its own accord.

Time faded out for a while, it was just her and Angel.

His body and hers, then a strangle combo of one body and one soul.

...

Cassidy shifted from foot to foot, beginning to get nervous. Deciding to see what was going on after she heard a thump, she walked up to the door and quickly peeked though the opening.

'Shit!' The medic panicked as she retched the door open, seeing Buffy was struggling to keep Angel down.

She'd only taken one step into the room and raised the tranquilizer gun before she realized what she thought she'd seen though the glass was actually the complete opposite.

'Oh!' The red head's face flushed the same shade as her hair, suddenly feeling more exposed than the two lovers currently in the act in front of her. In short, Angel was laying face up on the bed with Buffy atop him, they were not fighting, nor was he in cardiac arrest and she performing chest compression's.

Cass didn't know how it was possible, but she was sure she fled the room faster now than when Angel's demon had tried to eat her.

As much as Cassidy disproved of intimate relations in her medical rooms, especially when one of the involved party were still admitted to her Med-Ward, she wasn't about to try and break it up.

She'd either get slayed or eaten if she tried.

Returning to her office, the medic placed the loaded riffle back into the emergency cabinet and clicked her computer awake.

The monitoring equipment, at least the few items left that Angle hadn't torn off, were registering what she expected, a highly elevated heart rate among other things.

After a shorter time than she would have expected, his pulse rate slowed back to resting levels. 'Well, he hasn't eaten in days and is fighting off a virus, can't really blame him for being low on gas.'

A few minutes later, the signal got noisy, making Cass double take as the screen showed a suddenly arrhythmic pattern.

'What the heck?' The doctor wondered, checking the computer and then figuring the wires were dislodged during the...activity.

Just to be certain something wasn't going wrong with her patient's heart, Cassidy quickly headed back down the hall and checked the room, first listening to make sure she wouldn't be interrupting anything. When the silence lured her into the room, she found the two occupants laying motionless on the small bed, Buffy splayed out over her patient, a blanket between her and his spotted skin. 'Ahh. That's the 'noise'. Cass figured out the strange reading. Buffy was laying directly on top of the monitor pad on Angel's chest, the noise was her heart beat being picked up by it along with Angel's, giving the reading a sort of echo.

Unhappy about the extra taxation to her patient's already exhausted body, but Cass was glad at least Angel was finally sleeping. Seeing there was no further action for her to take here for now, Cassidy retied to her room for the night to let the lovers rest.

...

Buffy wasn't at all surprised when she woke her find herself wearing only a thin sheet and using her lover as her own personal body pillow. Angel was larger and heavier, thus he pretty much always ended up on the bottom when everything was said and done, not that he minded much, being a back sleeper. So using him as a pillow came naturally for Buffy. Judging by the arms wrapped around her waist, keeping her snug up against him, he wasn't much bothered by it.

'Great.' Buffy thought to herself as she regained logical brain processes, 'He was already worn out, not to mention sick, then we have sex to drain him more...and so much for not touching him too much...'

Lifting her head off the thin sheet covering his chest, her eyes scanned her lover's relaxed face and smiled. 'Well at least he's sleeping, so there's a plus.'

The warm tingly feeling she still felt wasn't bad either.

Angel hadn't gotten 4 hours total sleep all week, had only gotten slightly more the previous week too. The clock on the wall told her they'd been asleep roughly 5 hours now, which wasn't much but a hell of a lot better than the nearly none he had been getting.

The overhead lights had been turned off, the only illumination currently was from the heart monitor which cast the room in a pale green glow. Angel would have been able to see in the dark, but Buffy couldn't make out much of her lover in the darkness.

Figuring rest was the best thing for him now, and assuming Cass must already know about their little episode between the sheet, Buffy stretched back out against her lover's body and let herself fall back to sleep, content with the knowledge Angel would be better in the morning. 'Making love always makes him feel better and heal, so he'll be fine when we wake up.'

...

The sound of his breathing was what woke her.

Literally, the sound.

Instead of deep, measured inhales and silent steady exhales, it was a wet, wheezing, gurgling noise, like there was something blocking the inside of his airway.

Buffy startled upright and focused her blurry sleep filled eyes down at her rasping lover, the green glow from the heart monitor not giving much light to see by.

"Angel?" The worried wife called out, shaking his shoulder and repeating his name louder when she got no immediate response.

Coughing hoarsely, he sluggishly grumbled out something intelligible as he turned away from her prodding hand, unwilling to wake.

Fear welled at when she heard and felt how listless he was, and a second attempt to wake him resulted in no movement from him at all, just the rasp of his breathing.

The slayer quickly untangled from his limp form, switched on the lights and looked down at her husband. She'd thought he'd be getting better, but to her eyes he looked worse. His face was pale, his eyes were dark and bagged around the lids, his cheeks and forehead were flushed from fever, his body damp with sweat and the spots covering over his skin were bright red like evil accusing eyes.

Realizing he needed medical help for the struggling breaths, Buffy threw on her discarded clothes and ran down the hall towards Cassidy's office, hoping the medic was spending the night in the little living space in the back room of her office and hadn't gone home for the night.

Cassidy bolted upright in bed as the door separating the tiny dorm-like room behind her office burst open, flooding light from the office into the small room.

'Angel' was the first thing that popped into her mind, even before the blonde began frantically speaking and tugging at her arm for help.

Ignoring the fact she was still wearing her PJs, the doctor shook off the tiredness and listened to the symptoms Buffy was describing as she followed the slayer back down the hall to the Med-Ward and to the Isolation room across the hall.

Buffy reached the door to Isolation room 2 first, but stopped in the doorway a moment, looking confused. When Cassidy reached the doorway, Buffy had already hurried inside and was looking around the small but empty room. "I don't...where did he go?" She turned to ask the Medic, looking even more worried now. "He was just here! Barely even conscious!"

'Oh great.' The red head thought with a sinking feeling in her gut, 'Likely delirious, sick and wandering loose in the building...that usually ends well.'

"I'll grab the traq gun, incase he's not exactly in the mood to listen to reason." Cassidy called as she ran back down the hall, back to her office to pluck the rifle off the wall while Buffy paced around trying to figure out where Angel could have gone in his current condition.

'Damn it Angel, do I really need to keep you tied to the bed?' Buffy thought with a spike of frustration at her constantly unpredictable spouse, blaming the Angelus side of him for that.

It only took a few moments, but Cassidy arrived back at the room with the rifle and her usual white lab coat with scrubs, these ones a light purple. Apparently the medic hadn't wanted to go 'Angel hunting' with her leopard pajamas.

"Okay" Cassidy asked, "Now where?"

Buffy frowned and looked around, "I don't know."

Cassidy raised an eyebrow at the shorter woman, "Don't you have some kind of 'Angel radar' or something?"

The slayer sent her a exasperated sigh, "It's not like I have a map in my head with a blinking light that tells me where he is all the time, I can usually tell when he's close. I think the rest is just slayer demon finding instincts, which aren't exactly an 'on command' skill.'

"Alright, so let's think a moment. Usually he goes to find you or the kids, so reasonably he could have went upstairs to the offices. Or maybe he finally decided he wanted food and headed to the kitchen?" Cassidy suggested, trying to put herself in Angel's head.

Buffy looked towards the elevator, trying to feel her connection to her living vampire.

"Think he left for home?" Cassidy asked, wishing the slayer would point or give a direction to start searching in, having Angel on the loose did have a few risks attached, like people getting attacked if his demon had taken over again.

Wrinkled her brow, Buffy shook her head, "No I don't think he's that far, actually, he feels...really close."

"Maybe he's behind you." A male voice spoke from behind both Cassidy and Buffy.

Angel speaking startled them both, but the flash of surprise Buffy felt was instantly replaced with relief that he wasn't lost and that if he was speaking, his demon wasn't in control.

Cassidy gasped and spun, her finger instinctively pulling back on the trigger of the loaded rifle in her hands. When she'd turned, it had automatically pointed at the source of the fear.

Buffy turned, but before she could ask her husband where the heck he'd been, her eyes picked up on Angel grabbing something with red feathers off his bare red bump filled chest.

"What the hell..." Angel started in a mix of annoyance and confusion as he pulled the tranquilizer dart out that the medic had just fired at him, but before he could confront the medic on shooting him, he felt the drug already taking effect as the lights were already dimming. 'Son of a bit...' He thought before his consciousness shut down completely.

Buffy watched as the focus left his eyes and jumped forwards to grab her lover before he collapsed to the ground and smashed his head on the floor. His dead weight landed in her arms and she quickly lowered him to the ground, resting his head on her lap before running her hand along his neck to feel his pulse tapping against her fingertips.

Satisfied her lover was alive, she turned to face the medic and demanded, "Cass! Why the hell did you shoot him?!"

The medic's face turned an embarrassed shade of red, matching her hair color. "Sorry, it was reflex, he scared the shit out of me, almost literally." The medic defended her actions as she put the gun down on the floor by the door, "Besides, he'll be fine, it was just a fast acting sedative, he'll be complaining about it in under an hour." The medic assured the worried wife, knowing she didn't keep the potentially lethal darts anywhere except in locked, specially marked boxes after the last mishap with a tranq gun.

Sighing out her frustration on the whole ordeal, Buffy just shook her head while trying to calm herself by running her fingers though her husband's hair, which she quickly found was cold and wet. In fact, his skin felt cool to the touch and more than slightly damp.

"Why are you wet?" Buffy asked her unconscious spouse, now noticing he was wearing a damp towel around his waist as well. Moving her hand to his face, she could already feel heat returning to his cheeks and forehead. A picture was forming in her mind now, one where Angel woke while she had gone to talk to Cassidy and stumbled in a fog to the men's locker room across from the training room to take a cold shower to try and douse the fever induced heat radiating off him.

It was the only logical conclusion that made sense to her, and he would have come out behind them if he exited the locker room while they'd been deciding where to look for him, likely hearing them talk and approaching silently just to be sneaky.

Of course the sneaky part got him shot with the tranq gun.

"He breathing okay?" Cassidy asked while kneeling by the unconscious man and watching Buffy continue to play with his hair, since poor breathing was the reason she was dragged out of bed to begin with.

The slayer nodded, "Kinda, he still sounds raspy."

Cassidy nodded, "Okay, let's bring him into the Med-Ward and get him off the cold floor." Isolation room 2 was currently a mess from Angel's previous few nights there and room 1 had a problem with the overhead light that still needing fixing. Instead of wasting time cleaning out his room, Cass figured she could get him onto a bed in the Med-Ward first, then worry about his contagiousness later.

Buffy didn't need help, she was strong enough to carry her much larger husband, but Cass opened the door and pulled the closest cot over so Buffy could lay Angel out on it.

As to not soil the bed, Cassidy pulled the wet towel off as Buffy laid him down then quickly covered his now naked and shivering body in a few layers of sheets.

Buffy sat on the edge of the bed, her thumb absently spinning the Claddagh wedding band on her husband's ring finger while Cass gathered something medical from across the room. Her mind switching back to mommy-mode as she thought about calling Dawn and see how the kids were. The clock on the wall told her they would be in bed still and calling now would only wake her sister.

While lost in thought, her mind focused on another oddity.

It seemed quieter now.

Like, too quiet.

Buffy blinked then looked around to try and figure out what was missing. It only took a second for her eyes to settle on her husband, suddenly realizing the missing sound was the rasp of his lungs. 'Is he getting better?' She wondered, moving the sheet away from his chest and put her fingers back against his pulse.

The beats against her fingers were still there, but even as she felt it, it almost seemed...slower?

It was then she noticed his chest hadn't actually risen yet.

With a sensation like a frozen sword piecing her heart, Buffy realized the lack of sound hadn't been Angel's breathing getting better at all, the lack a rasp was because he'd actually stopped breathing.

She felt his heartbeat slowing more now as his lips began to tint a dark shade of blue.

Panic rushed though her as she screamed for Cassidy.

Next she shook his husband's shoulders, trying in vain to shake him into taking a breath, "Damn it Angel! Breathe!"

A second later, autopilot took over from panic and she pinched his nose shut before tilting his head back and blowing a big breath of air from her lungs into his.

He responding by coughing the air out, but failed to inhale much, so Buffy repeated the procedure, feeling his body wanting the breath but not being able to draw it in itself.

"Move." The words were ordered at her as Cassidy appeared at her side, a familiar looking tube in her hand.

As much as she didn't want to stop giving her husband much needed air, she knew what Cassidy was going to do would work much better. Moving aside, she watched with silent fascination as Cass inserted a laryngoscope into Angel's mouth to let her see down his throat to his larynx and quickly but expertly guided the plastic breathing tube down his trachea to right before his lungs.

It took under 30 seconds, but to Buffy it felt more like ten minutes. As soon as the endotracheal tube was in place, Cass removed the guide piece, inflated the anchor balloon with a syringe full of air and attached a ball to the end not buried in the living vampire's body. As Cassidy squeezed the ball, Buffy could see Angel's chest rise as the air was punched into his lungs.

The medic waved her over and quickly pressed the ball into Buffy's hands, "Squeeze this once every time you breathe in."

Nodding, the slayer did as she was told, watching as the blue tint began to fade from her lover's lips as she breathed for him with the help of the medical instruments.

Buffy hadn't been watching Cassidy, she'd been too focused on making sure she was squeezing air into Angel's lungs, but a few minutes later the medic had assured the tube was inserted correctly and moved to release the brakes on the bed Angel was occupying. She had Buffy walk with her to the room at the far corner of the Med-Ward. It was a multi-purpose room, used for surgery, labor and delivery, and intensive care as it was loaded with the most expensive medical equipment, like the life support machine and ventilator.

Neither woman spoke, but Buffy bit her lip in worry as Cass disconnected the ball from Angel's tube then attached the tube to the flexible coupler on the breathing machine. Buffy was very aware of Angel's chest not rising against for several long seconds before Cassidy switched on the machine.

Automatically, the ventilator began to breath for the man attached to it, but even as it did, Cassidy was fiddling with the controls, adjusting some setting Buffy didn't understand.

In silent shock, Buffy moved to stand by Angel's side, her hands wrapped around her husband's right while she focused on watching his chest rising and falling, her mind spinning on why he'd stopped breathing.

Cassidy was now applying new pads and monitors to his chest, ones he likely peeled off while in the shower earlier.

It wasn't until the doctor finished re-installing the IV into his arm that Buffy addressed her, "Cass, why did he stop breathing?"

He was breathing now, with the help of the ventilator, and the newly installed medical equipment showed a steady heartbeat and a collection of other stats and numbers that Cassidy understood but Buffy didn't. Those weren't the things Buffy wanted to know, she wanted to know why it happened so she could make sure it didn't happen again.

Now that Angel was stable, Cass let out a breath she hadn't realized she been holding. Instinct had taken over the second Buffy had screamed her name, her body and mind acting on reflex, getting the equipment, getting it installed, everything focused on getting her patient back to a stable condition.

Stable had been achieved, now was the time to think of why he'd lost it.

"I think I know, but let me confirm." Cassidy replied to Buffy as best she could, grabbing her stethoscope and placing the amplifier over the side of Angel's chest, listening intently as the machine breathed air into his lungs. After a moment, she ran her fingers over his forehead, feeling the heat and seeing the beads of sweat already at his temples.

Seeing the pleading looking in Buffy's wide hazel green eyes, the medic gave her best explanation, "I'd like to confirm with an x-ray, but I'm 98% positive he's got pneumonia, it's common for immune compromised people to contract it with chicken pox."

Buffy took that in but didn't understand, "That wouldn't kill him." The slayer pointed out, still highly unsettled he'd stopped breathing right beside her.

"No." Cassidy agreed, "But the buildup of fluids in his lungs would cause difficulty breathing..." Her cheeks tinted slightly, "...which could be made increasingly difficult while laying flat and sedated."

The slayer looked right at the medic, "Are you saying the tranquilizer that you said was harmless could have actually killed my husband?" Buffy asked with a cold sound to her voice.

Countering the threatening tone, Cass retorted, "Don't blame me for Angel being too damn thick headed to take care of himself while sick, to the point he stopped eating and sleeping and made himself worse by contracting pneumonia, then on top of that sneaking up on someone carrying a loaded gun who thinks he's demonized again!"

"He wasn't demonized, he was speaking! And you should have known he could stop breathing!" Buffy countered, suddenly furious that Cassidy's twitchy finger could have killed her husband. What if she hadn't been sitting right next to Angel when he'd stopped breathing, what if she hadn't noticed, what if he hadn't started again?

Tempers were flaring between the two over tired and over stressed woman, now both feeling like they had to defend themselves.

Buffy raised her voice as she faced the red haired doctor, "He only stopped sleeping because you told me not to stay with him! He'd would have been better off at home!"

"He's contagious and immune compromised, he had to be isolated! Sorry I'm trying to keep you from getting sick too! Which could kill your baby!" Cass shot back, furious the slayer was throwing all this back at her, like she wanted Angel to get worse.

The two were nearly nose to nose when Angel's heart monitor started beeping in alarm, his pulse rate had tripled.

Buffy's earlier panic returned full force. "Now what did you do!" She yelled at the medic as she hurried to her lovers side.

"Nothing! He's reacting to you!" Cass shot back, moving away just in case he sprang at her.

Angel's eyes snapped open, not brown but golden yellow, his demonic face instantly turned in Buffy's direction. He tried to sit up, but the tube and wires got in the way.

"Don't let him bite though the tube!" Cass warned, knowing his breathing was at risk if those sharp fangs punctured the plastic tubing.

"Angel." Buffy cupped his cheek and ran her thumb along the stubble that hadn't been shaved off in days, "Angel, calm down. It's okay, I'm okay." As she said it, she realized what Cassidy meant and why he'd woken vamped, his demon was reacting to her agitation and shouts. If she'd been thinking clearly, she would have noticed the rise in demon energy before the demon burned though the sedative.

His eyes, that had been rapidly scanning the room for danger, now focused on hers, those bright yellow orbs linking right to her hazel green. Inside them she could see her husband looking back, checking her face, searching for why she was feeling defensive and like she had to fight.

She smiled for him, to disarm him, "Relax Angel, there's nothing to fight."

He looked back at her, confused but willing to believe her. She wouldn't lie to him about that. He tried to ask her what was going on, why she was so upset. But there was something in his mouth, something pressing against his voice box and keeping him from speaking.

He wanted it gone.

"No." Buffy quickly grabbed his hand as she reached from the endotracheal tube in his mouth, "Don't touch that, it's breathing for you right now."

More confusion washed over his face. Looking down at himself, he tried to figure out why he wouldn't be able to breathe on his own. He was no stranger to artificial respiration, but no matter how often you are intubated, you never 'get used to it', ever.

He turned to Cassidy for an answer, which he knew was on the other side of the bed, he could hear her pounding heart and there was the scent of adrenaline in the room.

"You have pneumonia, it filled your lungs with fluid." Cassidy answered his questioning gaze and added in her most direct medical voice, "Don't puncture that tube, you can't breathe without it."

He could feel Buffy squeezing his hand, keeping it away from the tube, then her other hand turned his face back towards hers. "I'm not in danger, Cass and I were auguring, it upset me, that's what you felt."

He hadn't even realized he'd been vamped until he felt the demon mask fade from his face, he knew that's what Buffy had been waiting to see when she smiled and leaned down to kiss his forehead. "I'm sorry I woke you, we shouldn't have been fighting, especially not right here."

While Buffy spoke to Angel, Cassidy checked the heart monitor and was satisfied as the pulse rate was quickly dropping back down to safer levels.

He did relax then, but only partly based on what his wife was saying. He felt exhausted, too tired for normal sleep deprivation. He was certain Cass must have drugged him.

He felt Buffy's worry when the lids of his dark chocolate brown eyes began to droop again, he wanted to tell her he was fine, but the damn tube in his mouth prevented any sounds, even his growls were dampened by it.

When Buffy sent a quick questioning glance at Cass, the medic nodded it was okay, then pointed to the IV, indicating he was feeling the effects of whatever medications she'd plugged into the IV drip.

He caught his wife's eyes again, and suddenly, he didn't need words at all. Everything he needed to say she could already see plainly written in his eyes.

"I love you, but go to sleep." She told him, "I'll be right here when you wake."

It didn't matter if he wanted to or not, he was going to fall back to sleep regardless, but he decided not to fight it. Buffy was safe, he didn't need to fight it.

His dark eyes slipped shut and Buffy felt his body relax fully as he slipped back under the sedative induced sleep.

Now that he was out, Buffy asked the medic with a disbelieving tone, "You sedated him again?"

Doing her best not to answer in a way that would flair Buffy's mood swing induced anger, she explained, "Buffy, Angel likely has a viral infection in his lungs, which has caused fluid buildup to the point he has difficulty breathing without support. That infection can spread to lethal levels very quickly and cause sepsis now that his immune system is even worse than normal, especially if his demon gets worn down again. It is in his best interests that he rests as much as humanly possible while he's treated for the infection, and in order to assure that, my best medical opinion is to keep him sedated."

Buffy fought hard with herself to not get angry at Cassidy for making a choice not only for Angel, but her too. As his wife, Angel's medical decisions was her responsibility, not Cassidy's. "For how long?" Buffy demanded, wanting her husband well, but also wanting him home.

"I already started him on a few antiviral medicines on top of the Zovirax, plus he'll get a Nasogastric feeding tube that will enter his nose and deliver nutrients directly into his stomach until he's well enough to breathe without the ventilator. I'd like to get a chest x-ray before confirming any possible times frames for recovery, I need to see how severe the infection is and how it will respond to treatments over the next 24 hours. I'll do my best to remove the fluid in his lungs with several rounds of suction treatments, but I need to get him fully hooked up for an extended stay."

"Okay." Buffy muttered disheartened, not at all looking forward to Angel spending more time here than at home where he belonged, but even mad at the physician, she knew Cass would do everything medically possible to help Angel.

It took under an hour, but Cass managed to get the x-rays, install the feeding tube and catheter, and run several diagnostic blood tests all without a hitch.

Buffy looked at the dark areas on the printed x-rays while Cassidy explained what each meant, it looked like light shadows to her, but the medic insisted it was excess fluid building up in Angel's lungs. After confirming the pneumonia, Cassidy finished adjusting Angel's medications and told Buffy there was nothing else to do now but wait.

For the next several hours, Buffy sat beside her husband in the chair by the bed, watching silently as he lay in a medical induced coma.

"You should get some rest too, I don't need you crashing along with him." Cassidy suggested meaningfully when she came in the check on her patient.

"Maybe later." The slayer suggested, but really had no intentions of leaving his side.

The medical professional came to stand beside Buffy, "Listen, I know you're worried, but I promise you Angel is stable. He's on several strong anti-viral meds and the suction machine has already removed quiet a lot of fluid from his lungs. I'm confident he'll improve quickly. Go get a few hours sleep, he isn't going anywhere and you'll want to be awake for when he's off sedation."

The blonde wasn't convinced, but she was tried and she didn't want to take the same path Angel usually took when she was in the hospital, which was bullheaded stubbornness that led to deterioration on his part. She also was sleeping for two now. She decided to stay at Angel Investigations for the night, to make sure Angel remained stable. It didn't matter how many times Cassidy told her he wasn't in immediate danger, she still wanted to stay close. Dawn had dropped the kids off before heading out for her date earlier in the day, the two little ones had spend a majority of the day playing upstairs in the nursery room next to the offices with several slayers earling some cash babysitting.

"Okay, I'll bring the kids to the Med-Ward, I'm not going farther than that until he wakes up." Buffy compromised to the fullest extent she was willing to go.

Cassidy nodded, considering it a win that the slayer was agreeing to sleep at all tonight.

Once Buffy collected the kids from the slayer who was babysitting them upstairs, she tucked them into the cots beside her bed and promised they could see their daddy in the morning.

As soon as the kids were asleep, Buffy laid down and tried to get comfortable. 'I need to rest, not just for the baby, but for Angel too. I'll need all my energy just to keep my bullheaded husband in bed long enough to heal.' With a little smile on her lips, she closed her eyes and tried to sleep.

...

But Buffy couldn't sleep.

She'd tried. Hard even.

Buffy had figured the kids would help her relax, but the coma-like sleep the two toddlers were experiencing hadn't worn off on their mother.

Rising off the cot in the empty Med-Ward, she padded over to the only other occupied cots along the wall and watched as her children slept soundly. A part of her was jealous of their ability to rest so easily.

Rubbing her arms absently as if she were cold, Buffy's feet started moving of their own accord, it didn't surprise her much to find herself standing in the doorway to Angel's room a few moments later, her tired body leaning against the doorframe as she watched the still figure laying on the hospital bed, her eyes following the steady rise and fall of his mechanically assisted breaths.

As she watched his bare chest moving rhythmically, she felt the pull of longing in her heart.

She missed him already.

Her body especially missed his. The feel of his warm skin against hers, the taste of his lips on her tongue, the sound of his heart beating against her cheek, his manly scent as they lay tangled together at night.

Without conscious thoughts, she was beside his bed, running her hand lightly over his spotted chest before reaching up to caress the side of his face.

His skin was warmer than usual, no longer burning, but still flushed as the fever ran its course. Cassidy had assured Buffy that a fever was good, that it meant Angel's body was fighting the infection.

Buffy wanted it gone.

The ventilator behind his bed whooshed in and out every few seconds, her lover's chest rising and falling in sync with the sound as the machine acted as his breath.

She hated seeing her husband like this, he was too still.

It wasn't actually unusual for Angel be still, he'd been known to spend hours sitting still and reading a book, he also had an unnerving ability to stand so still he looked like a shadow. Neither of those bothered Buffy, but now that he had a family, he didn't spend much time motionless when there were two small children to chase.

'Three soon.' The slayer thought as she ran her fingers over her belly, which wouldn't show any signs of the new life within for a few months yet.

Her hazel green eyes scanned a thin strip of free space on the bed beside her husband, 'I bet I could fit there.'

As soon as she thought it, she dismissed it. 'I can't just crawl into bed beside him, he's sick...and covered in medical equipment...what if I pull out a wire or something? Granted I have before...'

Despite the dialog in her head, she moved closer until her hip brushed against the railing on the hospital style bed, 'I'll just sit with him for a few minutes' she thought as she sat down on the edge, leaning over to run her fingers though his hair and caress his cheek with her thumb.

'I need to bring a razor tomorrow and give him a shave.' Buffy thought as she traced the stubble on his cheeks, her lips twitching upwards, "You're going to start looking like a hobo."

A few minutes stretched into a few more, she knew she should head back across the hall to where the kids were sleeping, to make sure they didn't wake and need something, but she found she couldn't move away just yet.

'I can't stay in here, but I can just see if I would fit...just in case.' She told herself as she inched over and pulled her legs up onto the bed, wrapping an arm around her husband's waist as she laid out beside him. 'Hmm, maybe I do fit.' She thought as she rested her head on his right shoulder.

'I'll get up in a minute.' Went though her mind briefly before she fell sound asleep.

...

Cassidy was just heading back to bed after hitting the bathroom when she decided to take a quick look at Angel's vitals on her computer screen in her office. Technology was great.

A casual glance said everything was fine, but as she blinked and looked again, she notice his blood pressure and heart rate were increasing.

'Huh, what's this?' She thought as she studied the steadily rising numbers, seeing his mechanically regulated breaths remaining the same but his overall stress level increasing. 'Best go check.' The medic thought as she grabbed her white lab coat and buttoned it over her PJs.

...

Buffy stirred and sat up abruptly when she felt Angel shift under her. "What? Angel?" She mumbled sleepily, snapping awake as the lights switched on and Cassidy breezed in.

"I can explain..." Buffy blurted when she realized she was caught red handed sleeping next to her husband.

"Explain what? Why's he getting agitated?" Cass asked as she noticed the slayer laying next to Angel, which made even less sense. Buffy being there should be calming him, not stressing him out.

"What?" The blonde repeated in confusion, then turned to look at Angel beside her, now noticing what had woken her was him getting twitchy. "Angel? What's wrong?" She knew even as she asked it was a mute point, he was sedated and had a tube running down his throat, there would be no verbal response from him anytime soon.

Turning to the red head who was busy checking his wiring, Buffy asked, "Did I unplug something?"

"Not that I can see." The doctor answered as she checked the pads on Angel's chest, "But whatever it is, it is still annoying him, the readings are showing he's fighting the sedation."

Buffy looked over her husband again, getting worried now that something was wrong. "But why? He was fine a little while ago."

"Maybe the tube is getting uncomfortable?" Cass wondered aloud as she loosened the strap holding the plastic tubing in place and shifted it to the left side of his mouth.

Both woman were startled when Angel's right arm suddenly yanked at the cuffed strap securing it to the railing, so he wouldn't unconsciously pull at his breathing tube or other wires on reflex. He shouldn't have been able to move at all, the sedative Cass had him on used paralysis to relax the muscles.

"Something tells me he wants to be untied." Buffy suggested blatantly as she laid her hand over his arm to help calm him.

"He's been restrained for hours, it didn't both him in all that time." Cassidy pointed out, still trying to figure out what was causing the living vampire's discomfort. The longer he stressed and fought against the sedation, the more worn out he would get, which lessened his body's energy to fight the infection...and the more it would spread.

Cassidy fiddled with the IV lines, closing off the sedative drip to see how he reacted.

Buffy's blonde eyebrows drew down in thought, 'Why would Angel be upset that I'm laying with him?' She looked around the bed trying to find an answer, thinking maybe something was poking him or otherwise causing pain.'Does he not want here me? Usually he loves when I lay with him, he always wraps his arms ar...''

The thought stopped short as it suddenly came to her.

"I'm untying him." Buffy announced as she quickly undid the velcro securing Angel's wrist to the bed.

"Buffy, I don't think that's a good idea, he might..." The rest of Cass's warning went unsaid as the strap came free and Angel's right are wrapped around Buffy's waist.

The medic wasn't all that surprised when Angel's heart rate and blood pressure began to even back out as his stress levels receded.

With a satisfying grin, Buffy quickly released Angel's other arm from the cuff and wrapped that around her too. "He was getting frustrated because he couldn't wrap his arms around me, he's fine now." She concluded by stroking her hand down his cheek then kissing his forehead.

The numbers on the vitals monitor agreed with what Buffy suggested, so Cass nodded, "And if he reaches for the tube and decides to yank it out?"

Buffy settled herself back up against him, adjusting his arms so they was comfortable for both of them, as she did so, she gave his hands a squeeze, "He won't, his hands are otherwise occupied."

"Okay, fair enough." Cassidy relented, realizing Angel was better off with Buffy beside him. She glanced at the suspended sedative line but decided to leave if off for now. Angel had been in a medically induced sleep for over 12 hours now, she wanted him to get some natural rest too, Buffy being there beside him would only assure he stays in bed.

Taking advantage that he was still under the effects of the sedation, Cass did a quick suction to his lungs to remove any standing mucus or other undesirable body fluid built up and wished them both a good night.

On her way back to her office, she checked that the kids were still sleeping soundly and returned to her own bed for a quiet evening.

...

TBC...