Chapter 30: Liquid Courage

Arcs and sectors. Why Jet needed to know anything about arcs and sectors in order to succeed in grad school when he wasn't even interested in math was beyond him, and yet, here he was with his head buried in a grad school entrance exam prep book, trying to refresh his memory of basic geometry. However, the more he tried to cram his head, the more his vision blurred and his eyes glossed over the page.

This was pointless. He wasn't even sure he wanted to go to grad school! He'd be so out of place amongst all the scholars. But his junior year was coming to an end, and he needed to figure this shit out. He laughed pitifully to himself. How was anyone expected to figure out what they wanted to do for the rest of their lives at the ripe age of 21?

Even getting accepted to a prestigious institution like BSSU made him feel like an imposter. Given his mediocre grades and standardized test scores, it must have been his essay on growing up in the foster care system that earned him his spot. Not to mention how he had nearly charmed the pants off of his interviewer. Getting into college must have been a fluke or a poor-person quota filler or something. Grad school was not for average students like himself – it was for the serious, brainy students like Sokka and Azula.

Azula… he was bound to let her down sooner or later. She was so brilliant and beautiful… he didn't deserve his spot in BSSU and he definitely didn't deserve her. Why did she believe in him anyway? What did she see in him? Spirits, she could do so much better.

Feeling too frustrated to study, he closed his prep book and flopped onto his back on his mattress. He just needed to close his eyes for a bit. Just ten minutes of peace and quiet to clear his head…

Azula was happy for Mai and Ty Lee, she really was, but she didn't realize their new relationship meant Ty Lee would be in her room all the freaking time. The girl seemed to have a knack for barging in whenever Azula was absorbed in her studies too. It was annoying. She was trying to work on her philosophy paper, but as soon as her writing started flowing, some giggling and whispers over from Mai's bed would throw her off.

She sighed and closed her laptop before getting up from her desk and grabbing a coat. Even though spring was approaching, it was a particularly cold day, and Azula never intended on leaving her room once her morning classes were over. It was too much of a hassle with her crutches. However, she had had enough distractions, and it was growing progressively more evident that Mai and Ty Lee were looking for a little alone time. So she collected her things and headed to the student center café. A double espresso would surely fuel her motivation, and if Jet just so happened to be working, seeing him would just be an added bonus.

It seemed luck was not on her side. Not only was Jet not working, thus resulting in her having to actually pay for her coffee drink, but Katara was there occupying one of the better booths. No, she was not particularly happy to see the waterbender, not at all. If Katara was here in the café, then that meant her dorm room was completely unoccupied, so then why couldn't Mai and Ty Lee rendezvous there? Azula had assumed Ty Lee spent so much time in her room because Katara had Haru over in their room. Not only that, but ever since the formal school dance last semester, Azula felt some sort of… unexplained animosity from Katara. It wasn't consistent and she couldn't explain why or if she was just imagining it, but lately Katara just seemed extra snippy toward her.

She almost turned back before ordering her drink, but… Katara just looked so sad sitting there by herself. Her eyes looked puffy and her nose was red. Either Katara was having some serious allergies, or she had recently been crying. Ugh. Azula could feel it. She was about to do something nice. After ordering her double espresso, she ordered a second drink for Katara, a vanilla macchiato. It seemed like something Katara would enjoy.

"Hey," Azula said, walking up to the booth.

"Oh," Katara said, picking her head up from her biology textbook. "Hey, Azula."

"I ordered you a drink. The barista will bring it over here, since, well, you know." She gestured to her crutches. "You looked like you could use a pick-me-up."

"Thanks… that's kind of you." Katara offered her a half-hearted smile. "Taking a coffee break or something?"

"Not exactly. I was working on a paper in my room, but, well, I was starting to get the hint that Mai and Ty Lee wanted a little privacy…"

"Oh," she chuckled. "They're just the cutest couple, aren't they? I think they're perfect together."

"Yeah. Super cute." Azula shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I don't want to bother you or anything, so – "

"You can join me if you'd like, though, admittedly I'm not much company right now…"

"Oh, what's going on?" She hesitantly took the bait and sat down.

"It's nothing really. It's just…" She sighed. "I just broke up with Haru last weekend."

Jet awoke to the sound of glasses clinking.

"Thank the spirits it's Friday."

He groaned, feeling disoriented as he sat up. It was completely dark in his room – he must have been asleep for hours. He hadn't even meant to nap at all. What a wasted day.

"You have a lot of work to do this weekend?" Sokka asked.

"Yeah, a bit," Zuko answered. "Do you?"

"Same. Blarg. I guess there's a reason why everyone says third-year sucks."

"No kidding. But at least we can legally drink our troubles away now."

"I'll drink to that!"

Jet was tempted to go get drunk with them, but as soon as he heard the TV turn on, he knew they'd be in for a night of anime, and he wasn't exactly in the mood for that. Those two could really get absorbed with their nerd shows.

Sokka sighed. "I think this semester wouldn't be so hard if Suki were still here…"

"You must really miss her," Zuko muttered.

"I do, but it's not just that. I'm just so… touch starved, you know?"

"Huh, what?"

"I'm horny!" he whined.

Jet heard a glass hit the coffee table followed by a coughing fit presumably from Zuko.

"Like all the time!" Sokka continued. "Dude, are you okay?"

"Yeah," Zuko managed, still coughing. "That's just… n-not what I thought you were gonna say."

"Well, you get it. I mean, you must be feeling the same way now that you and Mai are broken up, right?"

"I-I guess so."

"I miss getting laid," Sokka grumbled. "I just want someone to touch me."

"Nothing's stopping you from hooking up, you know."

"Yeah, I know. But meaningless sex never really appealed to me. I don't think I can do the one-night stand thing – I'm not Jet."

That's when Jet realized his housemates didn't know he was home. Suddenly he felt bad for eavesdropping, but not bad enough to stop.

"You never know until you try."

"True." Sokka snickered. "Too bad we can't help each other out, you know?"

"Hah, yeah right."

"Hey, what's wrong with two newly single bros helping each other release some frustration, huh? Aren't best friends supposed to lend each other a helping hand every now and then?"

Zuko chuckled uneasily. "Y-You're messing with me."

"I mean, there's a reason they call it a 'bro job'…"

Jet had to stop himself from laughing out loud.

"If only you weren't straight," Sokka said jokingly.

"Y-You aren't drunk enough to joke like that."

"Who says I'm joking?"

"Who says I'm straight?" Zuko blurted.

Sokka laughed. "Now you're the one messing with me!"

"No really," he chuckled. "I'm… not straight…"

Jet's eyes widened as he suddenly realized what was going on. This whole time he thought Zuko had been protecting Mai when they "dated", but now it seemed like Mai had been protecting Zuko too. And Azula knew! That's what her conversation with Zuko must have been about during the dance. Everything finally made sense.

"What?! Since when?!"

"Since always…"

"No, I mean… yeah, okay, that was a stupid question. But seriously dude, that's awesome! So awesome."

"Why?" Zuko snickered.

"Because I'm not straight either!"

Jet cupped his hand over his mouth. Now that he didn't see coming.

"Wait, you're not?! But what about – "

"Yeah, I think I'm bi," Sokka laughed.

"B-But why do you think that? Do you… are you attracted to men?"

"I mean… yeah? I think so? I… I first realized it on Ember Island when we were all playing that game. L-Let's just say I didn't hate kissing Jet."

Jet was oddly flattered. He tried to think back to that moment on Ember Island, but he didn't remember much about that kiss. He supposed he didn't really hate it either, but he didn't particularly like it.

"N-Not that I have feelings for Jet or anything," Sokka added quickly.

"Well, do y-you… have feelings for… anyone?"

"I might. Do… do you?"

"I might…"

It grew eerily quiet after that. Jet couldn't tell if they started whispering or just stopped the conversation altogether. Or… oh spirits! They were kissing! They must have been kissing. He had to tell Azula immediately! In person. A text wouldn't suffice. But… he was trapped in his room! He couldn't just leave!

He looked over at the bedroom window. He was probably skinny enough to get out. It would be a close call, but he decided to go for it. As quietly as he could, he placed his desk chair in front of the window and climbed on it. He opened the window as far as it would go, but unfortunately it did not open all the way. Still, he tried to squeeze out. After some intense wiggling and flailing, he was able to get most of his body out the window, but… he also ended up kicking his chair in the process. It fell to its side with a loud thud.

"Shit," Jet said under his breath. There was no way they didn't hear that. Shit, shit, shit. That's when he heard his housemates calling his name. Busted.

He reversed himself back through the window and sheepishly came out of his bedroom.

Sokka and Zuko were completely red in the face. The three housemates stared at each other in silence.

"Yeah, so…" Jet started, defeatedly raising his hands in the air. "I-I didn't hear a thing."

"I'm sorry to hear that… that must have been a difficult decision."

"It was," Katara sighed despondently. "I hate that I hurt his feelings. He's such a nice guy – he didn't deserve it."

"Why did you break up with him then?" Azula asked. "You weren't feeling it anymore?"

"Yeah, I-I, umm…" She looked down. "I realized I wasn't over my feelings for Jet."

"Oh – "

"N-Not that I – I know he doesn't – I'm not trying to be his girlfriend or anything." She sighed again. "I know where his heart really lies. And it's not with me… you're lucky, you know." She smiled weakly.

"What are you talking about?" Azula scoffed.

"Jet obviously likes you. I've been trying my best not to feel jealous, but – "

"No, no," she interrupted, "you have the wrong idea. Jet definitely doesn't like me that way."

She quirked an eyebrow.

"He wouldn't even kiss me during that stupid game on Ember Island. He kissed just about everyone there, even Sokka, but me? No way. He…" She shook her head. "He'll never see me as more than a friend."

Katara gave her a sympathetic look. "But you see him as more than a friend…"

She chuckled. "It's funny… up until my accident, I actually had a huge crush on your brother – "

"Why does everyone like my brother?!"

"Who else likes Sokka…?"

"N-No one," she said quickly. "I just meant… historically. Sokka's always had people vying for his attention."

Azula didn't quite believe her but decided to let it go. "Well I can see why. He's one of a kind."

"So what changed?"

"I'm not sure," she shrugged. "I guess I just realized that Jet's always been the one who's been there for me."

"Oh spirits," Katara started to giggle. "You love him!"

"W-What?! N-No I – "

"Yes you do! I can see it all over your face. You love him! You should tell him!"

"No way. He can never know," she quickly dismissed. "It would be way too humiliating if he rejected me, which he definitely would…"

"You don't know that. I really think you should just be honest with him! I mean, what if Mai had never been honest with Ty Lee about her true feelings? They would have never gotten together, and they both would have been hiding their genuine selves from the world!"

"Didn't Ty Lee lose a bunch of followers though?"

"Yes and no. She did at first, along with receiving some very horrible, hurtful comments, but then a few days later, she actually started gaining a lot. Her audience is just a different crowd now." Katara shrugged. "Overall it's been a really positive change. I've never seen her so happy. And that's really saying something!"

The barista came over and handed them their drinks.

"Thank you," Azula and Katara said simultaneously.

Katara took a sip. "Mmm. Vanilla. Good choice."

Azula smiled before taking a sip of her espresso. "Well, that's great for Mai and Ty Lee, but… being honest about my feelings wouldn't guarantee the same success."

"That's always the risk, isn't it? Well, no matter what you decide to do, you have my support," she smiled earnestly. "And for what it's worth… if I can't be the one to win Jet's heart, then… I hope it's you."

"Thanks, Katara. That… means a lot." She took another sip. "And I have full confidence you'll find someone too, I mean, everyone who meets you loves you."

"Thanks, Azula. But for now, I'm just going to focus on school. The pre-med curriculum is insane! But… who knows, maybe next year I'll be open to meeting someone, maybe a cute freshman?"

"There you go!" She downed the rest of her espresso, thinking carefully about what Katara said. It's true that Mai and Ty Lee wouldn't have gotten together without Mai being brave and confessing her feelings. But… just the mere thought of telling Jet how she really felt about him made her feel like she had just swallowed a bunch of rocks. Perhaps there was an intermediate step she could take, however. If she couldn't muster up the confidence to tell Jet, she could at least tell the rest of her friends.