Wade was having a blast at annoying the shit out of all the villains at the meeting they have.

"Hey, author, can I have a chimichanga?"

'Sure fam.' gives him a chimichanga. 'Just don't give any spoilers for what I'm writing next.'

"I promise!"

The wide variety of criminals and assassins hate that Deadpool was invited to this meeting on how to defeat all the heroes. They decided to hold it on Christmas when the heroes hold their yearly Christmas party. Of course, after the meeting, they will do the same thing, but they have business before pleasure.

Ring* Ring* Ring*

"I gotta take this." Wade pulls out his phone and follows the rule of keeping it on speakerphone.

"Hello."

"Wade, are you doing anything?" Spider-Man asks.

"No." this pisses off several villains who are going to complain about it until they hear what Spider-Man says next.

"I just want to let you know that you might need to install a better lightning rod at your house."

"Baby boy, It's December. What are you talking about?"

"I pissed off Zeus."

At that everyone is silent.

"What did you do, comedian?" Ra's al Ghul questions the arachnid.

"He caught me fucking Hera."

"..."

"That boy fills me with pride," Ares announced.

"Wait doesn't Zeus, cheat on his wife with anything that walks?" Electro inquiries.

"Why do you think she was sleeping with me? She got tired of his bullshit."

"Wait aren't you supposed to be at the superhero Christmas party?" Sandman wants to know.

"1: they didn't invite me, even though I do most of the hero work. 2: I'm Jewish. And 3: Why would I hang out with those idiots who couldn't tell Doc Ock had swapped brains with me for over a year?"

"Wait if you're Jewish, then Jonah Jameson really is the second coming of Hitler!" Deadpool shouts.

"Let me get this straight, a Jew on Christmas, slept with a Greek Goddess. That sounds like the beginning of a joke." Dracula laughs out along with his wife Shiklah.

"Mmm. Gulp* Gulp* Choke*"

"What the fuck was that!?" Livewire shouted.

"That was just Leto."

"Have you fucked all my home county's goddesses?!" Elektra shouts.

"I haven't slept with you yet, have I."

Elektra blushes at the compliment she received.

"That is my spidey. Now pull out your member, place it on a table, and break it!" Wade shouts while jumping up and down.

'Why haven't we appeared yet?!' Yellow screams in Wade's head.

'Yeah,' White said.

Wade just blows his brains out with a gun that looks like a nerf gun.

"Hahaha." The joker laughs because Deadpool always knows what makes him smile.

"Well gotta go, My sister is coming over soon. Hopefully, she didn't eat too much turkey, so she drinks my seed."

Spider-Man hangs up leaving very surprised villains and a regenerating Deadpool in silence.