A lighter chapter for you after the last one.

Thank you so much to anyone who is still reading :)

Chapter 19 - Ain't askin' ya to ask

Hours later, the grey light of dawn woke Daryl, and slowly he opened his eyes, his body stiffening immediately as he realised he was still lying in Tahlia's lap. She was awake, staring at the ceiling, humming quietly, drawing shapes in the air with her knife in her free hand.

In horror, he realised that she could only use one hand - because his hands were wrapped around her other one, clasping it tightly to his chest.

He quickly released her, and she looked down at him with a smile.

"Morning, sunshine."

He sat up so fast he got a headrush. "Ya let me sleep all night!" he said accusingly.

"Yeah - and you said you don't sleep so good. Looked like you slept like a baby from where I was sitting." She grinned.

Ignoring her comment, he stood up to stretch and find his water bottle. She was right though, that was the deepest he'd slept in a long time. Not that he was going to make a habit out of sleeping on her.

God. In the cold, sober light of morning, he couldn't actually believe he'd done that in the first place.

"How long 'til we ship out?" Her voice interrupted his thoughts about her lap. "Have I got time to pop out for 15 minutes or so for a quick stretch?" She avoided saying 'yoga' because she was well aware of his disdain for it.

Daryl rolled his eyes and scoffed but nodded anyway and nudged his head towards the door in assent as he set a pot of water on the fire to boil, certain that he'd seen some instant coffee somewhere amidst the junk on the floor.

After a while, out of curiosity, he poked his head out the front door to see what she was up to, his heart immediately lurching into his throat when he couldn't see her. Grabbing his crossbow and preparing himself for the worst, he crept outside and slowly made his way around the perimeter of the cabin. As he rounded the back wall, he caught a glimpse of movement just beyond some trees a few yards ahead, and he breathed a silent sigh of relief.

What the fuck was she doing all the way around here, though? Should've stayed around the front where-

His thoughts disappeared like smoke in the wind as he caught her in a clear line of sight.

He'd never seen her do yoga this close up before and was quickly mesmerised by the flow of her movement, the ripple of her lean muscles and the strength and focus that radiated from her as she practiced. She had her back to him and her arms straight up in the air before she swan-dived down to touch her hands to the ground.

And, as if his brain was a million miles behind his eyes, he only just realised that she was only wearing her fitted tank top and... panties.

Black, lacy, boyleg panties that, in this position, left nothing of her firm round ass to the imagination. He sucked in a breath and felt rooted to the spot as lust immediately fired in his belly, and he felt a little dizzy at the sudden exodus of blood from his head as it all rushed south. Guilt quickly washed over him knowing he shouldn't be standing there watching her like this, but goddamn it was the fucking apocalypse and sights like this did not come along very often, and he had been rendered completely unable to look away.

She then shot her legs out behind her so she was in a push up position, then at the bottom of the push up, dipped her hips down and lifted her chest and face to the sky, affording him a different but just as incredible view of her ass. Then she was standing on her knees, and unexpectedly, reached behind and grabbed her ankles as she folded into a backbend, her eyes immediately locking on to his.

If she was surprised to see him there, she gave no sign of it, and simply, casually said, "Oh, is it time to go now?" from her upside-down head.

Daryl felt the blaze scorch across his cheeks and the shame flood his belly and all he could do was brusquely shake his head and mutter something unintelligible before stomping back into the cabin, feeling like a total perve.

Not long later, she came back inside, a rosy flush on her cheeks and jeans back on her lower half.

"Did I take too long?"

Daryl just shot her an awkward glance and shook his head. "Just came out to check on ya." he mumbled. "Didn't know where ya were."

"Oh, thanks!" she said brightly. "Sorry, I probably should have warned you that I was going to be pants-less out there. It's just a bit hard doing yoga in jeans. Probably gave you an eyeful. Real sorry 'bout that!" laughed Tahlia, with a shrug.

Blushing furiously, Daryl frowned and handed her a mug of black coffee. Of course she would just grab the one awkward thing hanging in the air and immediately address it, airing it right out. A wonderful and awful trait of hers.

"Awesome, thanks." She took the mug gratefully and perched on the back of the sofa. "So, what's the plan today?"

And that was Tahlia to a T. Any awkwardness already forgotten and left behind, making Daryl feel like he could move on from it too. There was just something about her that always made him feel at ease, like it was ok just to be himself, like nothing he could say or do would throw her.

He blinked rapidly a few times trying to keep up with the conversation moving on although the lizard part of his brain was still picturing her bending over in her underwear.

They trekked through the woods for most of the morning.

Daryl seemed convinced that they would pop out near enough to the place that they'd been aiming for and carried on doggedly, ignoring the twinge in his knee, and Tahlia was happy to trail along behind him, the fresh air helping to clear the cobwebs in her head from last night's alcohol.

She hadn't been sure how Daryl would behave around her this morning after the relationship rollercoaster they'd been on so far on this run. And not to mention the yoga-in-underwear thing. She thought he was going to implode from embarrassment. All of that had probably put him through the ringer, so she was fully expecting him to revert back to snappy shoutiness or total ignoring today.

But so far, he was actually acting kind of... nice to her. Well, nice for Daryl.

Navigating her way over a fallen log, Tahlia realised that Daryl was staring at her from the other side with a perplexed look on his face.

"How come y'ain't never asked me what I did 'fore all this?"

She looked at him in surprise from her vantage point on top of the log, then shrugged before nimbly jumping down. "Sorry, did you want me to? Ok, tell me what you used to do before all this."

Daryl's eyes narrowed. "Ain't askin' ya to ask. Askin' why you ain't asked."

Tahlia just stared at him blankly. He'd need to elaborate a little more before she could work out what he wanted from her.

"It's the first thing everyone asks, first damn thing everyone wants to know, and you and me been around each other a bit now, and we talked 'bout lotta things last night, but still y'ain't asked me that. Y'already know? Y'already talk to Michonne or someone bout it?" he said suspiciously.

Her brow furrowing, Tahlia gave a small shake of her head. "No. I haven't spoken to anyone about that."

Daryl could feel that burning ball in his chest, that uncomfortable feeling, and it always caused the anger to start swirling. He gave an aggressive huff and started to pace back and forth. "People ask it as if it's gonna mean somethin', as if it's gonna tell ya all ya need to know about a person, gonna give ya a real clear picture of who they are. And y'ain't asked me – ya think y'already know me or somethin'? Think ya got me all figured out, huh?!"

His quick rise to anger didn't bother Tahlia, and she just shrugged nonchalantly again, then pushed past him and carried on through the trees.

"I just haven't asked because if what you did was something that defined you, then it would have come out by now."

Daryl's brow knitted in confusion as he tried to work out what she meant, and he had to jog to catch up with her. "Fuck ya talkin' bout?"

She carried on talking and walking through the trees.

"Well, there are some people who are defined by what they do, like... Rick, as a cop. As soon as you meet him, you can see that his job is a huge part of who he is, it was important to him, and it makes up a huge part of his identity. That comes through in the way he operates in everyday life, how he conducts himself. Or like Carol – she's all about taking care of people, keeping the house ticking over, keeping things running – that's important to her and gives her meaning, and she's comfortable in that kind of role. But that's not the case for everybody. Not everybody has a job that makes up part of their identity, that reflects the core of who they are. Look at me - the organisation I worked for meant something to me, but my actual job? I worked in finance – I hated it! I only got into it to try and please my daddy. That part was just something I did, not something that was me. So, I just don't think that it's always relevant to find out what people used to do as a way of finding out about who they are."

Trying to process this, his defenses started to rise again. "That right? Well, before this, I was doin' nothin'! Just driftin', gettin' wasted, gettin' into trouble and pissin' my life away!"

Tahlia stopped so suddenly he only just managed to stop himself from crashing into her.

Turning to him she raised her eyebrows. "Proving my point exactly. I don't think that defines you. I don't think that's part of your identity."

Daryl opened his mouth to argue because that's what felt natural, but nothing came out.

He'd always assumed that part of his life did define him. That being a shit member of society and drifting around with Merle was who he was. That it said everything that needed to be known about him, and he lived under that dark shameful shadow for years.

And only just now, in the last five seconds, he wondered if perhaps the reason he'd always been so defensive about it – and indeed why he picked this fight with her in the first place – is because that's exactly how he didn't see himself to be, and he didn't want others to judge him by that.

Merle never cared, was more than happy – proud even – of the way they lived. Stickin' it to the man, he'd say.

But Daryl always wanted something more, wanted to lead a life that he could be proud of, to do something worthwhile. He just didn't know how to do that, or even what that would look like, and he didn't have the confidence in himself to explore it.

Consequently, he drifted.

And was angry about it. And not once had he ever stopped to look at things the way that she had just laid out for him, not once had he considered that being a trashy, drifting waste of space might not be at the core of him.

Until now.

It was a very strange feeling to have the perception of himself that had held firm for decades slowly start to shift.

Tahlia could see that something had just resonated with him, so she took her chances and kept going.

"So, I mean, I don't need to know about that part of your life to know who you are. It's just a way you lived for a bit, it doesn't reflect you. The bits that are more important, that say a lot more about you are the things you're good at, that you enjoy – your skills, your resourcefulness, your ability to provide and survive. All that stuff. Even your passion for motorbikes says more about you than drifting. There's so much more to you."

And without wanting to give him a chance to get all grumpy with her and shut down because she'd dared to say something positive about him again, she gave him a light push on the shoulder.

"So, got any more questions for me about stuff I ain't asked ya but y'ain't wantin' me to ask just askin' why I ain't?" she mocked playfully in a low drawl, watching with relief as the cloud passed over his face and he wrinkled his nose at her teasing and shoved her back.

"Naw. Ain't gonna ask ya nothin' again, coz ya talk too damn much when I do." And with a small smile of his own, he gave a little nudge of his head. "Let's move. But I'm leadin' coz you been takin' us the wrong way."

Silence fell around them as they walked, but the noise in Daryl's head was deafening.

He'd always been dragged down by his inferiority complex. He felt like an abused dog who skulked in the corner all curled in on itself, just waiting to snap at the heels of anyone who came too close. Living far below everyone else. Covered in dirt that wouldn't wash away. He'd resigned himself to the fact that this is how he was and how he would be until the end of his days.

And then this girl popped up into his life, all sunny and breezy and so ridiculously friendly that he was sure there was no substance to her, sure that she was just some completely unrelatable rich bitch. He was so sure of these things that he was also sure he'd never give her the time of day.

But he did.

And now his world had been upended.

She was so different to anyone he'd ever met, saw the world so differently, saw him so differently to how he saw himself and had been doggedly painting a picture of her view of him from the beginning, as if his self-worth was important to her. She said all of these things so easily, so casually, with no agenda. And the strange thing was, it didn't feel like lip service. It felt like she looked at him and genuinely just saw good bits.

He thought maybe he was finally understanding what Michonne had meant when she said Tahlia could shine a light to make you feel seen.

Because it felt like she could really fucking see him.

A version of himself that even he'd lost sight of long, long ago. A cleaner version, that little nugget of pure soul that he had been born with before the world slapped all its ugly layers on top. And it was terrifying, like his armour had been ripped off and now he was exposed, but at the same time it was so refreshing to finally feel the cool breeze and the sun on his skin and to have someone look at the real him for the first time and know they weren't repulsed by what they saw.

All the resistance he had been trying to hold up against her had disappeared. Drained away. His walls were slowly coming down.

He could feel himself starting to unfold around her. Like a piece of paper that's been screwed up for so long it's all crinkled and creased and brittle, but she was carefully pulling him open corner by corner, smoothing him out, revealing the hidden story inside.