Ch. 13

Exhale

Set after "A Thing I'll Never Understand" in season 6

"It's a terrible idea, Walt. This could come back to bite you in a big way."

Walt had grown a little wary of Dave's constant droning on the subject. Had he given the subject a little more thought, he would've met the lawyer in town to discuss his case. The fiasco at the courthouse with Chance Gilbert had slowed progress. Things like that didn't happen every day in Durant, Wyoming. Then Vic had been shot and his own problems had completely been pushed out of his mind. For a couple of days, she had been all he could think about.

Would she be okay? Could he keep her safe? Would Chance's group come after her?

A myriad of questions flooded his mind once Dr. Weston had assured Walt that she would live. That terrible night gave way to a morning filled with sunshine and Vic woke up. She would have a long, hard road ahead of her, but she was going to be okay.

Eventually.

Unfortunately, right now, she was not. The physical wounds were healing nicely. It was the emotional and psychological damage that would be the hardest to overcome. Right now, she was in a dark place. It was a mental hell that Walt was very familiar with. He would not abandon Vic to find her way alone.

Not after everything that had happened.

He damn near lost her. Feelings that Walt successfully kept in place most of the time had been bubbling up more and more where she was concerned. He finally gave up on trying to force the relationship with Donna. He recognized that his heart simply wasn't in it. Vic already had firm ownership of that whether he liked it or not. It was no longer his to give away.

Her unshakeable faith and devotion to him in the face of this whole tsunami of bullshit charges (Vic's words) he was facing down had shaken him to his core. If he gave it real thought, he wouldn't have been surprised. Vic had always been one of the most loyal people he knew. Even when things went to hell between them. Still, her willingness to go down with him had touched something inside of him. A tender place in his heart.

Now, it was Vic who was facing something that seemed insurmountable. Her own grief. He knew she blamed herself. He understood. He was an expert at self-loathing. It was Vic's entrance into his life that had helped him find his way back. He owed her the same in return. Moving her RV was about keeping her safe. From Gilbert's 'family' as well as the ghosts that were haunting her psyche right now. Those cuts ran the deepest. He had cradled her in his lap for as long as she needed it when she finally broke down in his cabin. Walt knew there were likely to be more on the horizon as she worked her way through all of this.

"Couldn't you just have put a guard on her place?"

Walt shook his head.

"I don't have the manpower for that. These people might come after her. It was the only thing to do."

He heard his lawyer let out a heavy, frustrated sigh. Walt was surprised the man hadn't jacked up his fee for all the trouble Walt was causing him.

"You realize if this gets out, it'll only add fuel to the fire. There are already rumors about the two of you. Her practically living with you isn't going to help."

Walt leaned his forearms on his porch railing, his eyes on the RV. There was a faint glow of the lights she had on inside right now.

"She isn't living with me. It's temporary."

"Doesn't matter. You know the truth is subjective."

Walt shook his head. What was it with people thinking that?

"I can't help what other people think."

"You don't have to add fuel to the fire either."

Walt was resolute.

"She's staying."

Dave nodded in concession.

"Okay, your choice."

In the fading light of the day, Walt watched the tail lights of his attorney's car fade into the distance. He understood the man's misgivings. Dave didn't understand the inner workings of his relationship with Vic. Hell, half the time, he didn't understand it either. He stood for a few more minutes. Nature's nighttime symphony was gearing up and the color streaked sky was something as it reached out across the horizon with a color palette an artist could only dream of replicating.

He heard the door to the RV open and close and he heard the soft tread of her coming across his yard. Since her breakdown the other night, Vic sought him out now. It was obvious she didn't want to be alone sometimes. That was fine by him. He had always enjoyed her company whether she was sitting in his office with her feet propped up or sitting next to him in the Bronco.

He glanced her way as she took slow measured steps across his porch. She grimaced slightly as she limped her way up to where he stood.

"Leg hurt?"

She looked down at it and nodded.

"Yeah."

He gestured to the bench nearby.

"Want to sit"

She started that way and he followed.

"Sure."

Walt sat and watched as Vic eased down and stretched her leg out. A trace of a smile crossed his lips. She was wearing pajama bottoms along with her t-shirt and Converse. There was something homey and cute about it. He would never admit that to her.

"How was your meeting?"

He shrugged.

"Same old stuff."

For a minute, they were quiet. He could hear her inhale and exhale next to him, almost a whisper. Then she spoke.

"Is my being here causing problems for you?"

Walt turned to face her.

"Did he say something to you?"

Her expression answered before she did.

"Only because he's worried about you."

"He's worried about losing."

"Same difference."

He leaned forward and let his arms come to rest on his thighs.

"He shouldn't have done that."

"Walt, maybe it's time for me to go home."

He hated the suggestion.

"Is that what you want?"

He was looking at his boots, afraid of the answer. The truth was, he didn't want her to leave. He liked having her here. With him.

"It might be what you need."

With a sigh, he turned to her.

"All that matters is what you need, Vic. You let me worry about the trial. You've got enough on your plate."

"Walt…"

He shook his head, cutting her off.

"Are you ready for that? It just wasn't about keeping you safe from Chance's people, Vic. It was about giving you a space to heal. And not just your leg."

Her head bobbed in a nod.

"I know that. And it's meant…more than you know…but…you should think about yourself."

Walt was accustomed to people accusing him of being hyper focused and single minded. Lately, she was the object of that focus. Taking care of her had become his primary objective, whether he would admit it to her or not.

A heavy truth had settled over him in that hospital waiting room. While he'd existed in a hellish purgatory, not knowing if she would live or die, the truth he had been fighting for so long refused to be denied any longer. Not by him.

He was in love with her.

It seemed so much more than simply loving her. Or wanting her. God knows he wanted her.

He was in love with her in every way possible.

Suddenly, nothing else seemed important. Not that she worked for him. Not that she was younger than him. He didn't care that she was pregnant with someone else's child. The baggage they both carried didn't matter to him. All the excuses he steadily fed himself over the years seemed ridiculously insignificant in that span of time. With everything stripped bare, that was the only thing that seemed to matter.

He was in love with Vic.

"Walt?"

Her voice broke through. It was soft. The sound made his toes curl inside of his boots. He could only be honest with her at this point. But not too honest. He didn't think she was ready for his whole truth. Not yet. Her state of mind was still too frail. Vulnerable. He didn't want her to question his motives down the road or think he acted out of pity or some shared need for personal contact.

There was so much between them that bred uncertainty. He wanted her to be certain when it was their time. Confident in what he felt for her. Steady.

He pulled himself together and stood up, stretching his back. Facing her, he leaned his back against the bean of his porch roof.

"Vic, I want you stay here as long as you want or need to. We can't help if people misconstrue things or outright lie. I'm not gonna let them run my life or yours."

She was looking at him full on with those damn eyes that got him every single time.

"This trial is my problem. I appreciate you worrying but you have other things to deal with. Be honest with yourself. Are you ready to take that step?"

Her eyes still carried the haunted expression that plagued them since she woke up in the hospital with an empty womb and a broken heart. After a second she shook her head.

"No."

He exhaled in relief. He wasn't ready for that either.

"Then there's nothing left to say about it."

He took two steps towards his front door.

"Come on in. Getting chilly out here."

She stood up slowly and followed him inside.