Hey, you guys!

Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas to all of you!

I hope you're all surrounded by people you love and who love you.
Well, and as my Christmas gift to you; a new chapter!
Hehehe.
No surprise there.

And since I think this will be my last update for 2019, I wanna use this moment to give you my wishes.
I hope 2020 will bring you nothing but good fortune and love.
And let's keep this fandom alive, together, for the series is simply too awesome to be forgotten.

Oh, speaking of forgetting; thanks for the reviews!
Happy to hear you guys still like the story.

Well, I'm gonna stop talking now.
Be prepared for some drama and enjoy this chapter.
Feel free to leave a review after finishing it.
But of course, no pressure.

Till next time, my loyal readers!
Later!

Chapter 19

"It has to be Carbine, right? A persistent General…", Modo whispered to Vinnie while they followed Milo and Charley to the communication room.
"Of course it is. I mean, 'Tell Throttle his General wishes to speak to him'? Ugh, tasteless. There's only one in this universe capable of making such a dramatic and unoriginal come-back. Miss Paranoia herself", Vinnie responded with a frown on his face, almost looking disgusted.
Even though the young mouse did have a point, Modo used his tail to smack him to the back of his head by hearing this comment.
When Vinnie wanted to protest because of this not so friendly treatment, the grey-furred giant quickly put a finger to his lips as he pointed a bionic finger in Throttle's direction -who walked in front of them-, hereby telling the white-furred loudmouth to watch his tone, for this was a touchy subject for their tan-furred friend.
Speaking of which, Throttle had been awfully quiet ever since Milo told them about the signal.
Even now, he hardly seemed to hear them.
But Modo didn't want to take any risks.
His bro and leader already had enough on his plate.
There was no need for Vinnie to make things even worse.
As far as that goes, that is.
Controlling Vinnie's mouth seemed to be an impossible job from time to time.
Which wasn't that big of a surprise, for the white-furred mouse hardly controlled it himself.
But it was worth a shot.

The grey-furred mouse swung an arm around Vinnie's neck and pulled him closer.
"But hey, if it is Carbine, that means Stoker can be alive too, ya know."
Vinnie's face lit up by this comment, clearly, he hadn't thought about that yet.
"Oh man, I hope so. I can't wait to tell him how I got rid of that tank, it was such an epic and style full elimination. Definitely one for the list."
"You keep a list?"
"Of course, I do. How else can I keep improving myself, huh? Perfection needs practice, although I'm already very close to being perfect…"
Vinnie trailed off when he realized what he was saying and wrinkled his nose.
"Scratch that. I am perfect", he then smiled his most charming smile before glancing up to Modo from under his lashes.
"Besides, someone needs to make it to the history books as baddest mamma jammer in the universe. It might as well be me."
Modo rolled his one eye with a smile.
"Sacrificing yourself to the greater good, huh? I'm touched, Vin."
"Hey, no problem, man. All in a day's work."
"Oh yeah? Where did you read that, the hero handbook?", the grey-furred giant snorted sarcastically as he playfully pushed him away, all in an attempt to contain Vinnie's ego, but of course, that was just as impossible as controlling his mouth.
The white-furred mouse suddenly tripped and Modo quickly grabbed his arm to stop him from falling face forward on the floor.
"Hey, man, no swearing! You almost gave me a heart attack just now. Handbook, pfuh… It's like a bible, dude. It's a way of life. Geez, what rock did you crawl out from under?", Vinnie breathed almost insulted as he looked at his older bro with big eyes, exaggerating as always in the way that no one else could.
Modo shook his head as he heaved a sigh and let the young mouse go.
That boy was too far gone.
Definitely, without a doubt beyond saving.

In the meantime, Throttle was still in a state of shock, which was a shock in itself.
Wasn't he supposed to feel happy that Carbine was still alive?
Or perhaps something that came close to relief?
Or at least anything other than this almost paralyzing shock?
He probably should.
But the truth was, he had no idea how to feel about this.
"Are you okay?"
Surprised by this sudden question, he looked at his right, straight into a pair of worried green eyes.
It seemed that the human female had slowed down her pace to walk next to him.
He hadn't even noticed.
"You look like you're about to throw up."
Oh man, she had no idea how right she was.
But he wasn't going to tell her that.
"I'm fine. Just a bit surprised, I guess."
That was an understatement.
"I can imagine", Charley nodded, but the tone in her voice told him she didn't believe him.
He couldn't really blame her.
He didn't need a mirror to know that he probably looked like he'd seen a ghost instead of just 'a bit surprised'.
Maybe he did.
It felt like he did.

All this time, he had clung to the hope that his friends might still be alive.
However, deep down he had always known that their chances of survival were almost zero.
The fact that he and his bro's had survived the crash was a miracle to say at least.
Bumping into Charley was nothing more but blind luck.
Maybe, deep down, the process of saying goodbye had already begun.
And now, it appeared that at least Carbine was still alive.
Even though he hadn't yet spoken to the person who was on the other side of that radio, he just knew it was her.
He felt it in every fiber of his body.
Frankly, it made him sick.
And he wasn't sure why.
But it had something to do with Charley.
With his feelings for that amazing creature that was a human being.
So that he knew.
Now, all there was left to do was to figure out what this severe reaction meant, this… indefinite feeling.
One thing was for sure.
It couldn't be good.
Man.
What a mess.

"So, this General… Is she one of your friends you told me about? You know, the ones with whom you escaped Mars?", Charley asked with caution.
"She is."
"But… Correct me if I'm wrong, but this is good news, isn't it?"
Throttle glanced at her.
"Of course it is. Why do you ask?", he asked with a tone that would pass for confusion.
It felt fake.
He knew damn well where she was getting at.
He just didn't know how to explain his reaction to her.
He hardly knew for himself.
"It's just… You don't seem to be happy about it…"
And there it was.
Throttle swallowed with difficulty, still not knowing what to say to her.
Which was weird, because he usually knew exactly what to say.
Everything was so different when he was around her.
It kept amazing him, and not in the good sense of the word.
But, unfortunately, Vinnie was more than willing to take over.
"That's because she's a bitch of the highest order", he meddled in their conversation before Modo could stop him.
But if that wasn't bad enough already, the white-furred mouse went even further by adding something that wasn't his place to tell.
"And she's our fearless leader's beloved girlfriend."

Throttle stopped dead in his tracks by hearing these words and anger suddenly chased away the numbness that came with shock.
He didn't get angry easily, he was known for his calm and stable behavior, but he was now.
Angry.
And not only because he was already on edge because of this mess that seemed to follow him everywhere he went.
If he had to be honest, it might have something to do with the almost childish need to keep his fucked up relationship with Carbine a secret for Charley.
For now, that is.
He would've told her, eventually.
On his own terms.
Just like he had said to her the day Max died.
That maybe one day, he would tell her about Carbine.
But now Vinnie had decided to drop this bomb with the worst timing ever.
And with that, he'd crossed a line that wasn't meant to be crossed.
The young mouse had already been very close to that line because of his flirty behavior when he was around Charley, but this time, he went too far.
And this time, he wasn't going to get away with it that easily.
No more.

In one smooth movement, Throttle swirled around and grabbed Vinnie by his black hoodie.
"She's not my girlfriend!", he spat out, his nose almost touching Vinnie's.
The young mouse his eyes grew big, but he wasn't really impressed, Throttle could tell.
It was all for the show.
The somehow smug glance in his now two-colored eyes was the proof of that.
He obviously had his own agenda.
Which was bad news.
"Okay, okay, chill bro. Geez, must have hit a nerve… I figured you told her, but apparently, you didn't. Oops. My bad, man."
The tan-furred mouse clenched his teeth by hearing the so-called innocent tone in Vinnie's voice.
It made him even angrier.
But not just with Vinnie.
Also with himself.
Because he now realized that the young mouse had said these things to provoke him.
And he had taken the bait without even blinking.
Talk about a stupid move.
This was exactly what the white-furred mouse wanted.

Something clicked in his head after his brain quickly connected the dots.
And he knew now.
To be honest, it was something he had known all this time but had tried very hard to deny, simply because it complicated things even more.
But now, it was time to face reality.
Vinnie's flirting was far from innocent.
Far from meaningless.
By the Gods, how could he have been so naive?
This was a game.
It had been a game all along.
A game he was now part of, whether he liked it or not.
Typical.
Just typical.
His grip around Vinnie's sweater tightened and he looked over his shoulder.
"Can I have a minute with my little bro here?", he asked, his husky voice lower than low.
Milo looked like he was about to faint, but Charley only gave him a puzzled look.
But then, she nodded.
"Sure. Just come to the building next to the garage when you're done."

When she and Milo were gone, Throttle looked back at Vinnie, who almost looked bored.
"So now what? You're gonna hit me for telling her the truth?"
This mouse...
This mouse was so good at crawling under his skin sometimes.
A growl vibrated deep in his chest as the tan-furred leader pushed Vinnie against the wall with a loud bang.
"I'm not in the mood for your little games, Vincent. I know you. I know what you're doing here. Because you've done it before. Over and over again. And even though it's far from okay, I've always let you do things your own way. But not this time. Not with her. You can't play her like that. She's too vulnerable. You're gonna break her. I won't allow it."
As he studied Vinnie's face, searching for a clue about how the young mouse was going to take this message, he saw how the left side of his mouth curled up into a crooked and arrogant smile.
"I take that as a challenge."

Another fit of rage made his heart skip a few beats and Throttle fought the urge to wipe the smug smile off Vinnie's face, for he knew that would only make things worse.
Even though he was beyond angry with his young bro right now, it was still his bro.
Besides, he was supposed to be the adult here.
The reasonable one.
But it was hard.
Harder than usual.
This was about Charley, after all.
"You just love pushing my buttons, don't you? I'm warning you, you're about to get what you want and believe me, it's not gonna be pretty. No, I'm not finished yet", he snapped when he saw that the young mouse was about to interrupt him.
"Now get this through your head, Vincent. You leave her alone. If you don't, you're gonna have to deal with me. You really need to consider if all this is worth it. Because trust me when I say that if you decide to continue this stupid and ridiculous game, things will get ugly."

For a moment, there was a glance of insecurity visible in Vinnie's eyes, clearly, Throttle's words made an impact.
The tan-furred mouse hated himself for being like this, for treating his bro the way he was doing now, but when it came to Charley, all bets were off.
He would do anything to protect her.
Vinnie would understand, eventually.
Well, he hoped he would.
He didn't want to fight with someone he considered being close family.
But he would if he had to.
"Are you threatening me? Are you seriously threatening me?", Vinnie eventually asked with narrowed eyes.
"Take it however you want."
And after giving Vinnie one last warning glare, Throttle let him go and walked away, still trembling of anger.
But, of course, the white-furred youngster just didn't know when to stop.
"So what's your excuse, huh? Acting all innocent, but you didn't even tell her you've got a girlfriend. How does that make you any better than me?"

Throttle was already halfway down the hallway, but slowly came to a halt when he heard this untruthful accusation.
"Maybe you should stop talking, Vin", Modo warned his young bro when he saw the tensed back of his friend and leader.
"Nah. Someone needs to tell him the facts."
"What facts, Vincent? What is it that you think you know?", Throttle asked softly with a dangerously low voice.
Modo made some wild movements with his arms while violently shaking his head in an attempt to stop this before things would really get out of hand, but much to his annoyance and less to his surprise, his young bro ignored him.
"That you lied, Throttle. I'm not blind, ya know, unlike some of us. I've seen it happen. You gave her hope. You gave her hope while you're technically speaking still with Carbine, who now appears to be very much alive. And you're accusing me of playing her? You're threatening me to stay away from her? How is that even fair? I did nothing wrong. You, on the other hand..."
Throttle closed his eyes for a moment, fighting to keep himself under control.
This was Vinnie to the core.
He should've known that confronting the young mouse was both a risky and stupid move.
This whole thing was getting out of hand at a worse time.
He never should've taken the bait.
Dammit.

But like Modo's old grey-furred momma used to say; 'Don't start what you can't finish.'
So, he turned around to face the most obstinate mouse in the entire universe, who was now leaning against the wall with folded arms, his tail sweeping back and forth like a clock.
"You're talking about things you can't possibly understand. You have no idea what is going on. I hardly know for myself. All I know is that I won't allow you to hurt her. And for your understanding; Carbine isn't my girlfriend, not for a very long time. I didn't lie to Charley. There are just certain things I haven't told her yet. But I will. When the time is there. Now, can we drop this and go? Carbine is waiting."
Well, that wasn't too bad.
He was somehow proud that he managed to stay this calm, even though his anger was closer to the surface than ever.
But, of course, the young mouse wasn't done testing his patience.
"Oh, no, we wouldn't want the great General to wait, now do we?", Vinnie snorted sarcastically in response.
"Stop talking about her like that!", Throttle snapped back by reflex, he just couldn't stop himself.
"Sure thing, bro. The day you pull your head out of her ass, I will."

Okay.
So far for calm.
A mouse could only be pushed so far.
Within a few steps, the tan-furred mouse stood right in front of Vinnie and before the white-furred mouse could blink his pretty little eyes, Throttle lashed out and punched him the face.
Hard.
Well, not hard enough to knock him out.
But at least hard enough to knock him to the ground.
Before Vinnie had the chance to start the counter-attack, Throttle kneeled next to him, grabbed his chin and forced the young mouse to look at him.
"You're out of line, Vincent. You leave Charley alone. End of story."
Without waiting for an answer, he got back on his feet and looked at Modo, who looked back a bit helplessly.
But Throttle wasn't planning on wasting any more time.
"I'm gonna talk to Carbine now. You keep an eye on him, I don't want him near that radio, you've got that?"
The grey-furred giant only nodded and Throttle turned around on his heels and rushed away without looking back.

Modo heaved a sigh and looked at Vinnie, who was now sitting slumped down with his back against the wall.
"I warned you. I told you you were playing with fire."
The white-furred mouse wiped off his bleeding nose with the sleeve of his hoodie, breathing heavily.
"Yeah, well, since when does that stop me, huh?", he grumbled with fuming eyes before spitting out some blood.
"Well, now you know", Modo answered with 'I told you so' written all over his face, but he still offered the young mouse his hand.
After a small hesitation, Vinnie decided to take it and the grey-furred mouse helped his young bro back on his feet.
After brushing off some dust of his shoulders, Modo looked into Vinnie's two-colored eyes, worried by the white-furred mouse his silence.
"You do, right?"
"What?"
"Know that you need to leave Charley alone."
Vinnie shook his head in determination.
"Oh no. This is far from over."
Modo couldn't believe his oversized ears.
"What in the… Vinnie, come on. Why are you being so stubborn?"
"I'm not. I just don't like people telling me what to do."
"I know, Vin, but in this case, I think you should cut your losses and let it go."
"Cut my losses? Gosh, you should know better than that, big fella. This whole scene only made things even more interesting. He wants to play? Fine. Game on."

Modo stared at him with disbelief, for he simply couldn't wrap his mind around the fact how stubborn this mouse could be sometimes.
"You can't be that stupid. Or callous. Can't you just let go off your ego for this one time?"
Vinnie's head jerked up and he looked at Modo with burning eyes.
"What makes you think this has something to do with ego?"
Modo's heart skipped a beat when he saw something from which he thought was pain in Vinnie's eyes.
Hmmm.
Perhaps he was wrong.
Perhaps he and Throttle were both wrong.
By the looks of things, this wasn't only about the competition.
Maybe there was more to it, after all…
But who knew?
Vinnie could be so hard to read sometimes, always hiding behind a mask.
Especially after that day…
He'd built these sky-high walls around him so quickly that not even he had been fast enough to climb over them before they closed him in.
Well, nevertheless, one thing was for sure.
The young mouse would never tell him what was going on inside that complicated head of his.
So, Modo gently punched him on the arm.
"Come on, let's go for a ride. Clear the head a little, ya know."
Vinnie let out his breath and nodded.
"Fine."

…

When Throttle made his way to the communication room, he was still boiling with anger because of the fight with his youngest bro.
Even though he was convinced that he had every right to be mad, it still felt wrong in any way.
Of course, it wasn't the first time that he had an altercation with Vinnie, there had even been times that it happened on regular bases.
Still, it felt different this time.
Vinnie's behavior concerned him, to be honest.
There was this awful nagging pit in his stomach, telling him that this was only the beginning.
He knew the white-furred mouse well enough to know that he wasn't going to back down that easily.
Not without a real fight.
He was as stubborn as much as tenacious and disallowing him to do something usually resulted in him deliberately disobeying, if only to undermine Throttle's authority from time to time.
Childish, yes.
But the truth.
Still, he didn't regret stepping up the way he did.
One very wise once told him that sometimes, the end justifies the means.
A phrase he believed to be true.
Especially now.

Without slowing down, the-tan furred leader of the famous trio stormed into the communication room, still far from calm.
Charley turned away from the window with her arms folded and gave him a questionable look.
"Guess I missed the weather report about Tornado Throttle. Slow down, macho mouse. What is going on?"
Throttle tried to shake off his anger, mainly because he needed to focus on the task in hand.
But also because Charley had no good memories of angry men.
He didn't want to rattle her.
But it was hard.
Harder than usual.
Knowing it was for the best to keep his mouth shut until he'd calmed down a bit, he ignored her question and his gaze wandered through the room that was full with all sorts of technology, most of which he didn't recognize.
But then he spotted a black device with a microphone on a stand beside it.
"Is that it?", he asked to confirm, thereby breaking the almost awkward silence.
"Yes. Vinnie and Modo aren't coming?", Charley asked slowly as she walked closer to him, clearly confused by his behavior.
Still avoiding her gaze, Throttle shook his head in response as he sat down in the chair next to the radio, his hands already turning sweaty.
"Why not? What happened? Is everything okay?"
No, it isn't.

"That's none of your business", the tan-furred mouse answered instead, his voice as cold as ice while he studied the radio in front of him.
"I see. Well, I leave you to it. I suppose you know how it works", Charley answered shortly and she was about to walk away when Throttle grabbed her hand to stop her, his anger suddenly vanished like smoke in the wind.
"Charley, wait. I'm sorry. I shouldn't take it out on you, that's not fair… I'm just... a little on edge, I guess, but that's hardly an excuse…"
He looked into her beautiful green eyes and took a deep breath.
"I uh… I'd really like you to stay… and not because I don't know how the radio works, because I think I do know how it works, it can't be that difficult, after all, Earth seems to have a backlog when it comes to technology, but on the other hand, I'm not very handy with tech, never have been, I'm more like an analog kinda guy, but not in a nerdy kinda way..."
He was babbling like some kind of idiot and he suddenly was very grateful for his thick fur that covered his now burning cheeks.
Charley's face softened and her eyes started to twinkle with amusement while she listened to his drivel, which in turn made him feel even more embarrassed.
He forced himself to stop talking and used the small moment of silence to grab himself together.
And he knew, there was no need to pretend, not anymore.
He might as well give in, right here, right now.
For it was clear.
He needed her by his side, despite the fact that it was his ex who was on the other side of that radio.
He just needed her, period.

So, he pulled out the chair next to him with his tail and looked up at her again.
"What I'm trying to say is… I need you here. This is one talk I don't look forward to and I just… Well, it would help me if you stay."
For a moment, Charley just stared at him, as if she was trying to burn a hole in his skull to find out his intentions, but then she smiled that beautiful smile of hers and sat down next to him.
"If that helps, sure, no problem."
Throttle smiled back, even though it felt a bit fake.
Knowing that he was about to talk to Carbine made him more than just nervous, strangely enough.
Charley must have felt it, because a soft squeeze in his hand made him look down and he felt a tingle in his belly when his gaze landed on their entwined hands.
She was still holding his hand.
That gave him just the strength he needed and after letting out his breath, he pushed the small button on the stand of the microphone.
Here goes nothing.

"Throttle reporting as requested, General."
At first, there was only the sound of static that filled the entire room and without really realizing it, his grip around Charley's hand tightened.
It was ridiculous how nervous he was and he simply didn't understand why.
Luckily, he didn't have to wait long before her characteristic hoarse voice came over the speakers, confirming what he deep down had known from the moment Milo had walked into that room.
It really was her.
Carbine.
"Hey there, stranger."
Throttle closed his eyes for a moment and even though he still felt numb, there was a sense of relief he had never felt before.
This was crazy.
Beyond crazy.
"Carbine… I can't believe my ears. I thought you were dead…", he eventually managed to bring out, staring at Charley's thumb that now softly rubbed the back of his hand.
"Same here. You have no idea how happy I am to hear your voice, Throttle."
There was a tone in her voice he hadn't heard before.
It came close to despair, but that was ridiculous, right?
Carbine wasn't exactly the type for despair.
She was like a frozen rock.
Hard as stone.
Cold as ice.

"How did you find me?"
"Apparently, someone put a price on your head. Making friends already, huh?"
The bounty.
That could only mean she was on Earth too.
"Hehehe, yeah, well, you know us. Friendly as ever", Throttle chuckled a bit uncomfortable.
He hadn't really thought about it, but hearing her say this made him realize this whole thing was, indeed, very typical.
"Oh, I know alright. It wasn't that hard to guess it was you guys. I suppose Vinnie and Modo are okay?"
"Yeah, they're fine. How about you? Where are you?"
"From what I've heard, were near a place called Los Angeles."
Throttle glanced at Charley with questioning eyes.
"California", she whispered.
Why was she whispering?
And why was he grateful that she did?
Shaking his head a bit confused, he focussed his attention back on the conversation and braced himself for his next question.
One he hardly dared to ask but needed to be asked anyway.
He needed to know.
"What about the rest? What about… Stoker?"

It took a little while before Carbine finally responded.
That couldn't be good.
His breathing rate increased as he waited for her to answer, staring at the radio with an intensity as if he could force the answers out of it.
Charley shoved her chair a bit closer to him and her warmth embraced him.
It calmed him down in a way only she could achieve.
"He's alive. Barely. We all managed to survive the crash, although it nearly killed Stoker and Mika, one of the younger soldiers. I guess we're lucky that Stoker is simply too stubborn to die, otherwise, things would be different now. Our bikes are toasted. So is our spaceship. The only bright side is that I ran into a few humans when I was exploring our surroundings. They live underground and were kind enough to help us, to take us in. A bit naive huh, given everything that is going on here? But you don't hear me complaining because without them, we weren't talking right now… We really passed through the eye of the needle."

Again, she fell silent for an uncomfortable amount of time and even though he had no idea what to say, Throttle opened his mouth to break it.
Everything was better than this suffocating silence.
But, as usual, Carbine beat him to it, a thing he usually hated but now appreciated.
Although it wasn't in the way he'd expected.
"Things have been hard, Throttle. I thought things couldn't get any worse when we fled from our planet, but I was wrong. I was so wrong. Yes, Stoker is alive, but I need to be honest; we have no idea if he's gonna pull through. The humans are doing the best they can, but there's hardly enough food and water for all of us, let alone medical supplies. But we've got nowhere to go, not with Stoker in this condition. Not without our bikes. And now the Plutarkians know that there are Martian Mice on Earth, I don't think it's gonna take long before they find us here. And who knows what happens if they do? I'm tired, Throttle. So tired…"

Slowly, the numb sensation got replaced by something else.
A nauseating feeling, sinister and dark.
It didn't hesitate to squeeze his throat, nor it stopped from turning his heart into stone.
Strangely enough, it wasn't really a feeling.
More like a… pressure.
And it suddenly hit him.
He now understood what his body was trying to tell him.
Guilt.
While listening to her story, to the helplessness her voice radiated, guilt pressed its heavy weight on him.
The first thing that occurred to him was that she didn't deserve this.
Not after that deep black day, that was already hard enough on itself, hard enough to crush someone's spirit.
All he ever wanted for her was freedom.
And now she was stuck in a hole in the ground, while their mentor was slowly dying, surrounded by people she barely knew, waiting for death itself to take her away as well.
How was that even fair?

And to make things even worse, all this time that she was fighting to stay alive, still desperately fighting for freedom, he had been here.
Here.
In Camp Hope.
All safe and sound.
Not fighting for his life or those of his bro's, no, the only thing he had been fighting was stopping himself from falling in love with a human named Charley.
And look how well that turned out.
He'd spend his time, precious time he now understood, with stupid things like flirting, eating and sleeping while she and Stoker were fighting for their lives.
Fighting for their right to exist, once again.
It made him sick.
Sick of himself.
How could he betray his own people like that?
He should've tried harder to find them, instead of riding on a pink cloud.
Unbelievable.

His gaze landed on his hand, which was still holding Charley's.
The pit in his stomach got even worse and as if stung by a Martian Bee Bee, he pulled back his hand.
This was wrong.
Wrong on so many levels.
Charley gave him a confused look, but he ignored it.
Her warmth, that had been like a comforting blanket just seconds ago now felt stifling and he shoved his chair a bit more to the left.
Away from her.
Her confusion hurt him, it cut straight through his soul, but that he ignored either.
There wasn't really that much of a choice.
With a trembling tan-furred finger, he pushed the small button again, almost praying that his voice wouldn't let him down.
"Listen. I'm coming to get you, you hear me? I have no idea how long it's gonna take, but you need to believe me when I say that I'm gonna do everything within my power to be there as fast as possible. You think you can hold on for a little while longer?"
"Rushing out to save the damsel in distress, huh? My hero", Carbine responded and Throttle knew her long and well enough to know that she was now having that typical small smile around her lips.
The smile that once used to drive him crazy.
In a good way, that is.
The smile that had made him fall for her from the moment he'd laid eyes on her.
It was years ago, but it suddenly felt as if it were yesterday.

"Well, you know what they say; never let a lady down."
It was an attempt to make a joke, to lighten up the mood, but it hardly succeeded.
He'd never felt this terrible.
"Hold on, okay Carbine? I'm coming to get you, I promise. Just… hold on."
"I will if you promise me to stay safe. I would hate it if I lose you…"
Throttle squeezed his eyes shut, suddenly close to being overwhelmed by tears.
The pain in her voice was almost too much to bear.
It told him that the one thing he thought would never happen, happened anyway.
The tough General Carbine was broken.
And it broke his heart.
His heavy heart.
But there was nothing he could say to make it better.
All he could do was to promise her that he would come for her and the rest.
A promise he intended to keep at any cost.
It felt like he owed that to her.
He knew he did.
"You're not gonna lose me. I promise. Just as I promise that I'm gonna get you out of there. Keep this frequency open, okay? So we can stay in touch."
"Copy that. Be careful out there, Throttle. It's a mad world."
"You know I will. You take care now, Carbine. Until we meet again."
"Until we meet again. Carbine over and out."

The silence pressed against his eardrums and Throttle rubbed his face as he still fought back his tears.
Suddenly, a warm hand on his shoulder.
A soft voice, close to his ear.
A warm breath.
"Throttle… I think I know you well enough to know that you're blaming yourself. But I also think I know enough to tell you that isn't fair. This isn't your fault."
The tan-furred mouse shook his head in denial, still hiding behind his hands.
"You're wrong. It's my responsibility to take care of my people. I've let them down. I should've tried harder to… to do something. They're in trouble while I'm here..."
He couldn't speak further.
He couldn't say it out loud.
Charley grabbed the armrests of his chair and firmly turned it into her direction.
"Look at me, Throttle."
When he didn't, she gently grabbed his chin and forced him to look at her anyway.
Straight into her breathtaking green eyes, that were now filled with compassion.
The warmth of her fingers spread through his body, even though he tried to fight it.
But as he already had learned the hard way, fighting his feelings for this beautiful creation didn't exactly make things easier.
Then again, what choice did he have?
None.

"There was nothing you could've done and you know it. Don't be so hard on yourself…"
She didn't understand.
How could she?
This was something no one could ever understand, for it had something to do with his deep-rooted love for Carbine.
Even though he knew deep down that the light-grey-furred General was like poison, he still loved her.
He was doomed to always love her, for the rest of his life.
But then there was Charley.
Like a breath of fresh air...
Charley laid one hand on his cheek and her thumb rubbed his tan-colored fur.
"Don't do this to yourself… It can only end badly, trust me, I know."
In her attempt to comfort him, she came closer and closer.
And all Throttle could do was to just stare at her, plagued by guilt.
But something stopped him from turning his head the other way.
He even leaned closer to her, so close, he could now see the microscopically small brown flecks in her eyes.
Her scent filled his nose, that amazing scent he still couldn't give a name.
It made him dazed and for a moment, the pressure of guilt was gone.
Only being this close to her was enough to make him go into a trance, to make him feel as light as a feather.
Hope.
Everything around and inside of him just vanished.
Faded as if a fog rolled in.
And it was just him and her.
Her and him.
She closed her eyes as she slowly closed the gap between them, so did he…

'I'm tired, Throttle. So tired...'

Out of nowhere and with an ear-deafening volume, Carbine's voice echoed through his head right before his lips made contact with Charley's.
His eyes flew open and he pulled back so quickly, he almost fell out of the chair.
Charley opened her eyes as well and Throttle could see her pain that was caused by this almost cruel rejection.
Another thing to feel guilty about.
It suddenly felt as if the walls were closing in and breathing became more difficult.
He needed to get the hell out of here.
Right now.
He jumped at his feet, searching for a way to explain this to her, to tell that none of this was her fault.
But he couldn't find the words.
"I'm sorry, I just… I just can't…", he stuttered.
Knowing this was the best he could give her right now, he quickly turned around and stumbled out of the room.
The pain in Carbine's voice still ringing in his head.
The look on Charley's face burned in his brain.
The war had shattered Carbine.
Did he just shatter Charley?

'And the shadow of the day...
Will embrace the world in gray.
And the sun will set for you...'