Yo yo yo!

How are you, my precious readers?
I hope you're all safe and sound.

So, for starters; thank you so so so so much for the reviews, follows, favorites, views, for everything that has something to do with you reading my story.
I bet y'all get awfully tired of hearing me say that all the time, but I just can't say it enough.
Your support is all I need to keep going, despite all these horrible writer blocks.
I wish there were words that could express my gratitude, but there's only thank you, and that doesn't even begin to cover it.
But okay, it'll have to do.
SO THANK YOU!

Second; I've experienced one of the coolest things in my life and I really wanna share it with you guys.
Last week, Rob Paulsen (voice actor Throttle) did a live signing on Instagram and I was a part of it!
I ordered a picture online, along with many others, of course, and that night (European time) he went live to talk to us and sign the pictures one by one and oh my god, you guys, it was so F-ing awesome!

He told stories about his career, about the jobs he did (TMNT, Animaniacs, Pinky and the Brian, BMFM of course, etc.), he even said the whole 'In this wild and wooly universe of ours' quote with Throttle's voice, same goes for 'Let's rock and ride!' (I had asked if he could write that on my picture, seemed only right, I figured).
And he said my name, called me a kid (how cute) and 'my dear' (even cuter), told me (and the rest that was watching of course) that his wife likes this character the most because he sounds a whole lot sexier than he looks in real life (his words, not mine), but I could only agree with the sexy part.
I think I speak for all of us when I say that we just looooooooooove Throttle's voice, hehe.

He also told that he had talked to Ian Ziering (voice actor Vinnie) a little while ago and that they all, including Dorian Harewood (voice actor Modo), would definitely join the party again if someone would decide to bring the show back.
It's all in the possibilities, so let us pray ;)
I mean, how cool would that be, huh?
Although I hope that if they do, it will be the original series and not the 2006 version because in my opinion, the original series is waaaay better.
But hey, that's a matter of taste.
I hope I didn't offend anyone. XD
Not my intention.

Either way, the picture has been sent to me, I hope to find it in the mail any time soon!

So, with that being said, on with the story!
And holy shit, this chapter is LONG.
So make sure you've got some time when you start reading.
Well, unless it doesn't bother you to read it in parts, that is.
Anyway, enjoy! ^^

Chapter 29

'Behind every mask there is a face, and behind that a story.'

Meanwhile inside the barn…
Throttle slowly sat down on the chair again, looking at the girl who followed Charley with her eyes.
When the door closed behind her, the girl now looked at Throttle, her face blank.
"Trouble in paradise, huh?", she asked with her slightly husky voice as she shifted her weight to get a bit more comfortable.
The tan-furred mouse wasn't sure what she meant by that and he suddenly had the strange urge to ask her what her point of view was.
To ask her what she was seeing.
Some pathetic way of finding out if there was still a chance for him, which was beyond ridiculous because the girl didn't even know them, so what made her opinion suddenly so important?
He had no idea.
What he did know was that he was clearly starting to get desperate, something that wasn't only dangerous in times like these, but also nothing like him.
He used to be in control of almost everything.
Yeah, well.
The famous good old days, huh?

Either way, he eventually decided that it wasn't important what she meant.
Or what she thought.
Or what she saw.
Her point of view wasn't important.
At least, not for now.
And frankly, it wasn't her business either.
So, he ignored her comment as he leaned back in the chair, the fingers of his right hand resting against his lower lip.
"I've got a proposal for you", he eventually said calmly, a thing he was quite proud of, for he was everything but calm.
There was a tornado of emotions whirling inside him and he suddenly felt so tired.
But, lucky for him, Vinnie wasn't the only one who knew how to put on a mask.
And so he did.
Because he had to.

The young human girl studied his face for a moment, as if she was sensing his distress, what was quite possible, for he had learned in the short time that they had been on this crazy planet that humans seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to feelings and emotions.
And even though they weren't capable of Mind Walking like the Martian Cave Mouse population was, they still came close enough.
Which was remarkable, to say the least.
And quite inconvenient, sometimes.
Not this time though, for it seemed that she couldn't find whatever she was looking for.
Probably something she could use against them.
Thank the Mothers of Mars for his poker face.
Nevertheless, she rested her head against the pole again, her two-colored eyes closed as she gave him a nod.
"I'm listening."

After making himself comfortable in his chair, Throttle shot a quick look at Modo, who nodded in return to tell him that he was ready for anything, which was good because if the girl wouldn't take their deal, things could only get ugly.
The tan-furred mouse truly hoped that it wouldn't come that far, because what would they do if it did?
He didn't want to answer that question, not now, so he quickly shook off these unpleasant thoughts and focussed his attention back on the girl.
"So… After hearing your uh… motivation, I've come to the conclusion that there's a slight deviation in our chain of command", he started, studying his nails to keep his appearance calm and in control.
She didn't seem to follow him, because she opened her eyes with a frown on her young and quite pretty face.
"What does that even mean?"
Modo cleared his throat and she now pointed her burning eyes at the grey-furred giant, who didn't even flinch.
"It means, little miss, that we ain't enemies", he told her, leaning against one of the poles with folded arms and one foot up.

Throttle nodded as he kept a close eye on her.
"He's right. We're not enemies. We share one. A so-called common enemy."
The young human narrowed her eyes as she looked back at the tan-furred leader, who could see that her brain started to connect the dots.
"The fishheads", she concluded tonelessly and Throttle nodded.
"Exactly. So, in light of that fact, we've decided to let you go. Not just that, we will help you free your brother as well."
Her two-colored eyes now grew big and her mouth dropped, clearly, she hadn't seen this one coming.
Well, not really surprising.
After all, second chances were rare if not even non-existent in times of war and as he had noticed before, she dealt with some serious trust issues.
"Wait… what? Just like that?", she eventually managed to bring out, still very confused by this sudden turn in the conversation.
The tan-furred leader just gave her a friendly smile, to let her know that he was telling the truth.
"Just like that."

But, as expected, the girl shook her head, clearly not trusting this offer, or him, for that matter.
"I don't believe you. There's gotta be more to it. Like… what's in it for you, huh? What do you want in return? There has to be something. I mean… there's always something."
Throttle let out his breath as he leaned forward in his chair, his right foot resting on a small wooden box that stood close to him.
"You're smart. Suspicious, too. A dangerous combination, that I know. But it's probably what kept you alive so far…", he said slowly as he studied her face, somehow intrigued by this young girl that had managed to survive in a world like this, all by herself.
Or perhaps with some help from her brother.
Still.
It couldn't have been easy.
And yet, here she was.
Being very much alive.
And being right.
Because there was, indeed, something he wanted in return.
Well, two things, to be exact.

"I want you to help us bring down Limburger. Next to that, I would really appreciate it if you stop trying to kill us… It's kind of annoying, actually…", he added with a meaningful look on his face.
She stared at him for a moment, but then her lips curled into a smile, a genuine smile, revealing a set of sparkling white teeth.
Somehow, she was amused by this addition and for a moment, she looked even younger.
Innocent, even.
But soon thereafter, her face grew serious again and she too leaned forward, her cold eyes looking at him with an intensity that would've made him feel uncomfortable if his experiences hadn't shaped him into the imperturbable mouse he was nowadays.
But he already knew what was next.
It was practically written upon her face.
"How do I know that I can trust you? That you're telling the truth?", she demanded with a low voice, the threat that was hidden underneath it not really hard to miss.

But as mentioned before, it took a lot more than a young girl with trust issues to rattle the leader of the famous Biker Mice From Mars.
Like a human named Charley, for instance...
Which was both true and so not the point right now.
The tan-furred mouse gave himself a mental shake before he shrugged and slumped back in his chair again.
"You don't. I can only give you my word."
"That's hardly enough", she snapped back, but there was a slightly desperate tone audible, telling Throttle that he was coming closer.
Good.
"It is enough. You see, I'm a mouse of my word. I'm willing to go far to keep it. But I'm willing to take things even a step further when it comes to protecting my family…"
Without breaking eye contact, he slid off the chair and sat down on the small box with his elbows resting on his knees.
Their noses now almost touched as he looked her straight in the eye.
"If you agree to join our team, I will protect you as one of us, simply because that's what you will be. One of us."

Silence dawned upon them after his last words slowly faded into nothingness, although the message he had given her still lingered in the air.
A place to belong...
And as he kept a close eye on her, he could see something change in her eyes.
The cold got replaced with something else.
Doubt.
It was clear to him that she wanted to believe him with everything she had in her, yearning for a place where she wouldn't be alone anymore.
But would she be able to?
To trust him?

Truth be told, he had no idea.
Even though he hardly knew her, she was obviously a complicated person.
Troubled.
Damaged.
Scarred by this war, this useless and cruel war.
A war that was raging on for six years already, so if he had to guess, she was only a child when it all had begun.
And her experiences had shaped her into this mistrustful person, this… damaged person after being forced to grow up sooner and faster than was healthy for a girl of her age.
The war had affected her in many ways, just like it had done to him.
And Modo.
And Vinnie.
Hm.
Vinnie...

Perhaps that was the reason why the white-furred mouse had suddenly gotten so anxious.
It wasn't because she was a girl.
Or that she had beaten him twice on a row.
It wasn't an ego thing.
Well, not entirely.
Because looking at her, he suddenly realized that his young bro and this girl had a whole lot more in common than just their amazing two-colored eyes.
He wasn't really sure where this brainchild was based on, but it just magically arrived and strangely enough, it made sense.
It all made sense now.

Vinnie must have felt it too.
It had to be.
Because, as usual, when something -or someone- came close, too close, he did a full 180 to run the other way without looking back and shit, he just did it again.
His hostile behavior was nothing more than a defense.
A wall so high, that no one could climb it.
To keep her on a distance, for she might be able to trigger something he didn't want to be triggered.
Oh, Vinnie…
If only he could understand that love and connection were the only two things that could help one heal.
That being lonely might feel safe, but was one's downfall at the same time.
No one should be alone.

This… epiphany made his heart beat faster, all of a sudden.
It was beyond childish and perhaps even selfish, next to far-fetched, but if he was right…
If he was right, it would mean that whatever was happening between his young bro and Charley wasn't love.
Well, not true love.
Perhaps there was still a chance…
But then it felt as if something slapped him in the face.
Something with a light-grey fur and piercing brown eyes.
Carbine.
Next to that, let us not forget that Charley had chosen Vinnie over him.
Perhaps he didn't have an ego that big as the white-furred adrenaline junkie, he did own some healthy manly pride and being second choice didn't exactly stroke that pride.
Assuming that she would still want him, that is…

"Throttle? Throttle, bro, are you okay?"
Modo's voice broke him out of his thoughts and the tan-furred mouse suddenly became aware of his surroundings again.
Blinking a few times, he looked up at the grey-furred giant, who looked back a bit worried.
"Sorry, I guess I zoomed out for a bit…", Throttle mumbled as his eyes darted back to the girl and as soon as she opened her mouth again, he knew that he wasn't the only one thinking about the white-furred rascal.
"Your white friend doesn't seem to be thrilled with this plan of yours…", she said slowly and Throttle didn't miss the shadow that flickered across her face.
A shadow of insecurity.
It made her more human than the whole 'nothing can get to me'-attitude, which was good.
Because he now knew that he had made the right decision.
There was clearly a warm and sensitive person hiding behind that mask, telling him that even though she might be scarred and damaged, she wasn't lost yet.
It gave him the confidence he needed to know for sure that this was the right path to follow.
Sometimes, a mouse needed some confirmation.
Even a leader.
Especially a leader.

"Don't worry about him. He'll come around", he told her with a warm smile, knowing that this was hardly an explanation, nor did it serve as a reassurance.
Even worse, at this point, Throttle had no idea if he would.
Come around.
But he wasn't planning on saying that out loud.
Saying things out loud made them real.
And in this case, it was better if it remained what it was.
A thought.
A feeling.
A hunch.

Strangely enough, it seemed to be enough for her as well.
For now, that is.
But after another long silence, after fighting an inner battle bigger than she probably showed them, the girl nodded, the doubt in her eyes now replaced by determination.
"Okay. You'll help me free my brother and I'll help you bring down Limburger in return. With pleasure, of course. I've got some serious unfinished business with that fish…"
"And…", Throttle encouraged her with yet another meaningful look.
"And I shall stop trying to kill you…", she muttered under her breath with her eyes lowered, thereby avoiding his gaze.

Honestly, the resemblance with a certain white-furred someone was, again, striking.
It told him that things could only get… interesting from here.
He could only hope that Vinnie would, indeed, come around and give this girl a chance, for there was clearly so much more to her.
But with Vinnie, one never knew.
He was as erratic as much as he was stubborn.
Now there's a dangerous combination for you…
But not the really the point now.
Man, he was really distracted, for him.
Another sign that he was tired.
Because he was.
So, so tired…
Giving himself another mental shake, he gave the girl another warm smile.
"I guess we've got ourselves a deal. Modo, cut her loose, will ya? She's no longer our prisoner."
And with that, the team just gained another valuable soldier.

…

"There ya go…", Modo mumbled as he cut the last rope and he rose back on his feet, giving the girl some room to do the same.
"Thanks…"
Just when she was back on her feet, the door opened and Charley walked back inside, soon followed by Vinnie.
Throttle's gaze landed on Charley first and a shock went through his body the moment he laid his bionic eyes on her.
As if he saw her for the first time again.
It was crazy, what she did to him.
It was pathetic, too, given the current circumstances.
As if he was back to being a teenager again, having a secret crush on someone from who he knew would never be his.
Yearning for her at a safe distance, scared to come closer.
Scared to shatter this bubble that was called unrealistic love, but it was all he had and he held onto it as if his life depended on it.
Perhaps it did.
Losing it would crush him, even though this whole situation was slowly starting to take its toll.

And he suddenly wasn't sure how long he was able to keep this up.
He just needed to forget about her for so many reasons.
Obvious reasons.
But she was just so beautiful, it almost made him want to cry.
Sometimes, the heart beats the head.
Modo's heavy voice echoed through his head and as he still looked at the human being that was able to rock his foundation like no one ever had been able to, he knew his big bro was right.
But it didn't make it easier.
Nothing did.
If only he could take her in his arms.
If only he could tell her how much she meant to him.
If only he could call her his…

But he couldn't.
After all, it was he who turned her down, it was he who had chosen Carbine and Charley…
Well, apparently Charley had made her decision as well.
If only he could accept that.
He thought he could.
Under the guise of; 'As long as she's happy...'
Just as his little bro.
They both deserved to be happy, more than anyone.
It didn't really occur to him that perhaps he too deserved some happiness.
And it was now clear to him that some things weren't as simple as they seemed.
This whole… love triangle... thing was the proof of that.
It was beyond complicated and where he usually knew exactly what to do, he now stood in the dark, completely blind and deaf.
And he hated it.

But if he thought things were confusing now, well… it all became even more complicated from the moment Charley caught his gaze.
Because as soon as their eyes locked, her cheeks turned red and she quickly looked the other way.
As if she was ashamed of something.
But what?
Throttle narrowed his eyes behind his glasses in both confusion and suspicion before his gaze landed on Vinnie, who looked like he had calmed down again.
And he wondered...
What happened outside this building that was called a barn?

Then again, did he even want to know?
Did he really want to know how Charley had been able to calm him down in such a short matter of time?
He knew like no other how hard it was to settle his young and overactive bro, especially when he's as riled up as he was when he stormed outside.
A bad feeling crept over him as the image of them on the roof flashed before his eyes.
How peaceful Vinnie had been asleep later that night...
Perhaps a 'bad feeling' wasn't really covering it.
Because it actually made him sick to the stomach.
Could it be?
Man, would they really do that?
While he and Modo were inside, only a few feet away from them?
When the only thing that separated them were a few thin red-colored walls?

Knowing Vinnie, he definitely would.
Throttle knew all too well that the young mouse wasn't exactly subtle when it came to his conquest.
Then again, with Harley, things had been different.
He had been different.
Shy, insecure, perhaps even… squeamish.
And what about Charley?
Would she do that?
It somehow didn't fit with the image he had of her.
But then again, did he actually know her?
No.
Not really.
Still…

Again, it was Modo who broke him out of his, as he would like to call it; unpleasant and sickening thoughts by clearing his throat excessively loud.
At the same time, his tan-colored fur bristled and Throttle frowned as he forced himself to snap back to reality again.
Vinnie and Charley stood on his left, both looking at the girl that stood next to Modo on his right, rubbing her wrists that were probably sore because of the rope.
The tension rose rapidly to an astonishing level and the tan-furred leader now understood why his fur stood on end, for his sensitive senses had picked up this bad vibe before his brain could even process that it was there in the first place.
But he knew now, just as he knew that he needed to step up, and fast too.

And while he was at it, he should give himself a huge inner scolding for being this distracted.
Again.
They counted on him to manage this addition to the group successfully.
Like they always did.
Counting on him.
Next to that, Modo was giving him this look… this look that told him that he was worried again, just like he was when they first arrived at Camp Hope.
This look that told him that things were, again, spinning out of control faster than a speeding bullet.
Yeah, well…
He didn't need Modo to know that was true.
What a mess.
It just didn't seem to end.

Either way, he quickly cleared his throat to break the almost suffocating silence.
"Why don't we do a little round of introductions, huh? My name is Throttle…-", he introduced himself before pointing at his grey-furred bro, who was still studying him with that awful look on his face.
"-... this do-gooder here is Modo…-"
The latter gave his leader one last intense glance before his one eye landed on the girl and a warm and friendly smile appeared on his face because that's what he was.
Warm and friendly.
"It's a pleasure to meet ya, little miss."
The girl stared at him as if he just fell out of the sky, probably stunned that chivalry hadn't died after all and despite everything, a smile curled Throttle's lips before he continued to the next person in line, a person a bit less warm and friendly at this moment.
"-... the bundle of joy over there is Vinnie…-"

The words already left his mouth before he could stop them, but the white-furred youngster didn't even protest as he expected he would.
He just stood there, with folded arms and twitching tail as he glared at the girl with gnashing teeth.
She only winked back at him with a slightly challenging look on her face, which made him even more cranky, Throttle could tell.
Hm.
Perhaps he was wasn't as calm as he thought he was and so, to prevent this situation from escalating, he quickly laid a hand on Charley's shoulder.
Again, without thinking.
He felt her tense under his fingers and her heartbeat rose as well, which distracted him more than he could afford right now.
But miraculously, he managed to keep his head in the game.
"-...and last but definitely not least… Charley."

The human female only looked at the girl with a blank face, clearly needing a bit more time to warm up to this person that had given them the amount of trouble like this particular specimen had done.
Even though she wasn't acting as hostile as Vinnie, she obviously still wasn't pleased with her and the girl seemed to realize that neither words nor deeds could speed up the process of forgiveness at this point, because she just nodded to Charley before turning her gaze back to the tan-furred mouse in front of her, who was obviously the only one who she trusted at this point.
Well, trusted…
Perhaps that was too big a word.
But maybe something that came close.
Which was enough for now.
"My name is Pippa, but please call me Pip. I hate my full name…", she started with a slightly disgusted look on her face and with that, she just added another thing on the list that she and Vinnie had in common.
Without her knowing, of course.
In fact, Throttle wasn't even sure if anyone else noticed all this besides him, Vinnie excluded.

"Anyway, usually I would say nice to meet ya, but given the current circumstances, I think I'm just gonna stick with uh… hi."
"Fair enough", Throttle agreed with a small smile before he turned his head to face Vinnie and Charley.
"Pip here has agreed with the terms, obviously, so that means she's one of us now. I expect you to treat her like one of us, despite our… well, let's just say rough start."
He knew he was asking a lot right now, especially from Vinnie, but again, it was the bigger picture that mattered, although it pained him at the same time to just steamroll over his young bro's feelings like that.
Then again, Vinnie would never admit that he had feelings in the first place, let alone blaming his leader for bypassing them.
Still.

Charley was a bit less complicated, for she nodded as she let out her breath, probably knowing from her experience as a leader that sometimes, one needed to put aside any form of emotion for the greater good.
This was one of those unfortunate occasions and so, she buried the so-called hatchet, although with reluctance, Throttle could tell.
The human female put her hands in the pockets of her black leather pants as she shifted her weight from her toes back to her heels.
"So, uhm… Pip. Welcome to the team… I guess?", she smiled a bit sheepishly with raised shoulders and eyebrows.
It clearly took her some effort to swallow her pride, but she did it anyway and Throttle's respect for her grew even bigger.
He knew how hard it was to stay focussed on the bigger picture while your emotions, along with the ones of those in your presence, pulled on you from all sides.
It required a lot of strength not to let them win.
Pip glanced at her from under her lashes, for the first time a bit uncomfortable, telling Throttle that she wasn't used to someone being nice to her, which was sad as it was understandable given the time they were currently living in.
"Thanks… I guess?", she replied, her voice a few octaves higher as she ran a hand through her black hair, now almost desperately avoiding Charley's gaze.

It was then that everyone looked at Vinnie, even Throttle, although he wished they didn't.
They probably shouldn't expect too much from the young mouse right now, but they did it anyway and with that, they backed him into a corner, although unintentionally.
But a mouse in narrow became unpredictable and could thereby change already fragile situations such as this one rapidly, something the leader of the famous trio was trying to avoid at all costs.
And he was doing such a good job right now…
NOT.

Vinnie must have felt the tension rising as well because his eyes grew big and he raised his hands with the palms pointed up.
"What? Why are you guys looking at me like that? You really don't expect me to welcome her to the team, now do ya?", he asked with disbelief written upon his face as he now pointed at Pip without looking at her.
"To hold hands and sing kumbaya all together like one happy family? Ah ah. No way. No. Fucking. Way."
"What's kumbaya?", Modo asked with a frown before anyone else had the chance to react.
Vinnie's arms fell limp next to his body again as he looked at Modo with a somehow tired look on his face, which was a rare thing.
"Really, Modo? You really just asked me that?"
"I ah… I guess I did…", the grey-furred giant chuckled a bit sheepishly as he stared at the laser popping in and out his bionic arm, probably realizing that he was, obviously, missing the point here.

Well, Throttle couldn't say that it happened for the first time.
He would never call his older bro dumb, for he wasn't.
But he had these moments of… not being the brightest light among them… or something like that.
Usually, these moments were a source of entertainment, but not today.
Although he couldn't stop himself from wondering as well what Vinnie meant with 'singing kumbaya'...
But he at least was smart enough to keep that to himself.
Besides, the white-furred mouse had made his point anyway.
Definitely no member of the Pip fanclub...

It was Charley who intervened by clapping in her hands.
"Okay, so, since we don't really have time for this, I suggest that we prepare for departure. I'm gonna go search the house for food and water, since our own supply is running very low."
She then glanced at the three mice with a thoughtful frown on her face before she made her way to the door, grabbing Pip in the process to take her with her.
"You're coming with me, young lady. I can use an extra pair of hands."
Before the young girl could even open her mouth to protest, they were already outside and silence dawned upon the three brothers in arm.

It started with three...

Throttle now understood that Charley had taken Pip with her to give them some time alone.
So they could talk, from one brother to another, without any witnesses.
To smooth out their issues, or even better said; so they could smooth things out with Vinnie.
It was obvious to him that his young bro was still entirely against this whole plan to let Pip join the team.
His whole body literally breathed resistance.
The words that came out of his mouth confirmed the message that his body was already radiating.
"Oh, so now you already trust her enough to leave her alone with Charley, huh? Geez, what happened when we were outside anyway? You guys exchanged eternity rings while saying your vows?", Vinnie asked with a face like thunder and folded arms, the paragon of a child that didn't get his way.

Yeah… What happened when you were outside…?
Throttle stopped himself right on time from asking his bro the same thing.
Instead, he heaved a sigh while running a hand through his hair, not really in the mood for this kind of conversation.
Even though he appreciated the fact that Charley had been thoughtful enough to give them some privacy, he already knew that talking some sense into the white-furred rebel was an absolute no-go at this moment.
It would never work.
Not with Vinnie being in this mood.
He wouldn't listen.
He would only provoke.
Provoke, until one of them snapped and somehow, the tan-furred mouse had the nagging feeling that would be him.

He was too tired for this.
He had too much stuff going on in his head.
And yet, he responded.
It was almost a reflex.
To keep things calm.
As befits a leader…
"Come on, Vin, you've seen the lady fight. She's more than capable of handling herself. But to answer your question, or at least the one that matters; yeah. I do trust Pip. You should do the same. She's not the enemy, bro."

Vinnie snorted and put his chin in the air, clearly not ready to surrender yet.
"Anyone who messes with me and my family is an enemy by nature, so no… I don't trust her and I never will…"
He then let his fuming eyes land on Throttle.
"You should take your own advice and do the same. Bro."
The tan-furred mouse threw his hands in the air in defeat, already done with this before it could even begin.
"You know what? The hell with this. If you wanna sulk like a three year old, fine, but leave me out of it. Pip is part of our team now and that's final. How you're gonna deal with that is your problem now and yours alone. I don't wanna hear another word about it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go call Carbine to inform her about our delay. Because that's why we're here, remember? To help out our friends. It better won't be too late, Vincent. It better won't be."
And without waiting for a response, he snatched his helmet off his bike and marched outside.
Done.
He was done for today.

...then there were only two...

Modo followed Throttle with his eye until the door closed behind him before he let his gaze land on Vinnie.
"Happy now?"
Vinnie's eyes grew big as he raised his hands.
"Say what now? I did nothing wrong!"
The grey-furred giant arched a brow as he folded his arms.
"No, you never do, huh?"
"Now what's that supposed to mean? Never mind, I don't even wanna know, 'cause I ain't the problem here! The problem is that you guys just never listen to me! I'm telling ya, that girl is dangerous!", the white-furred adrenaline junkie continued his rant, but Modo wasn't having any of it.
"Do you trust him?", he cut his young bro off with an almost compelling tone in his already heavy voice.

Vinnie fell silent for a moment, but then gave him a look that said 'Well... duh…'
"Of course I do", he eventually answered the question, clearly a bit suspicious about where Modo was getting at.
The grey-furred giant nodded before he laid a hand on Vinnie's shoulder.
"Then trust him. He knows what he's doing and if he says that the girl is to be trusted, then she is to be trusted."
The fact that Vinnie's shoulder was feeling as hard as stone didn't elude Modo, telling him that his overactive bro was tensed and not just a little bit.
There was clearly something bothering him, something big and he had the nagging feeling that it wasn't just about Pip.
He tried to catch Vinnie's gaze, but of course, he kept his eyes lowered.
Even worse, he still had that infuriating, toe-curling rebellious look on his face.
But Modo didn't have the illusion that he was able to make his bro hold hands and sing kumbaya, whatever that meant, for he knew things weren't that simple, especially not with Vinnie.
So, he clapped the young mouse on his shoulder to diffuse the tension a bit.
"Just give her a chance, Vin. A chance to prove herself. That's all I'm asking."

The white-furred mouse shrugged as he bit his lower lip, the stubborn look now replaced with a thoughtful frown and Modo let him go, knowing this was all he would get right now.
But he wasn't done yet.
Oh no.
Far from it.
"And you really shouldn't push Throttle like that, man. He's struggling. Even you should be able to see that."
He had to say, Vinnie's response surprised him more than he showed.
Because in reality, it completely blew him away but he was smart enough not to show it, knowing it could force his bro back into his shell.
And that was the last thing he needed right now.

Either way, instead of giving another round of protest as he expected he would, Vinnie's ears drooped and he dropped on the chair, his shoulders slumped.
"I know…"
You do?
Modo quickly ate the words before they could leave his mouth and he casually leaned against the table standing close to the chair that was taken by a sulking and very upset looking white-furred Martian Cave Mouse.
"Then why don't you cut him some slack, huh?", the grey-furred giant suggested, not even that unfriendly.
It wasn't because he wasn't angry with the young mouse, because he was, but he knew that yelling at him would only make things worse.
Next to that, the fact that the white-furred rebel admitted that he was actually capable of empathizing after all took off the sharp edges.
Of course, he already knew that there was so much more to Vinnie than he showed, which was mostly a big ego and a lot of hot air, but it wasn't a secret that he tended to be a bit on the selfish side, every once in a while.
But not now.
Clearly not now.

And it aroused Modo's curiosity.
Throttle was right.
Their young bro was acting strange.
Something was definitely bothering him.
The question was; what?
Or more to the point; was he going to tell him what it was?
Probably not.
But hey, a mouse could try.
The white-furred youngster was clearly not on his guard as he usually was and so, the grey-furred giant decided that it was time for a little ambush.

"Anyway. I hope Charley and Pip find some food. I'm starving. Actually, come to think of it, I haven't heard you complain about your empty stomach for a while now", Modo started his interrogation of the most closed-off creature of this universe and beyond, his hands now in his pockets.
"I mean, for a mouse that has eating as a hobby, you're awfully quiet about the lack of food."
"I'm not hungry", Vinnie replied shortly, staring at a spot close to his feet with his hands folded under his chin.
Sometimes it was just so easy to lure him out without him knowing.
"Say what? I can't believe my oversized ears. You, who has a wormhole as a stomach, ain't hungry? Damn, never thought I'd see the day. So what, ya sick or something?", Modo added the last question as nonchalant as possible, his hands still in his pockets.
It was risky.
But it worked.
Better than expected, actually.

"Sick? I dunno… Maybe. Guilt is a tough pill to swallow, man… so is love...", Vinnie answered absent-mindedly as his right hand reached for the medallion that was thoroughly hidden under his shirt.
His fingers enclosed the object with shirt and all and Modo frowned in confusion as he kept a close eye on his bro, who was acting more than just weird.
That could only mean that he was onto something, even though he had no idea what this 'something' was.
Guilt?
Love?
What on Mars was going on here?

Unfortunately, the white-furred youngster seemed to realize the same thing, because he suddenly jumped at his feet with lashing tail and twitching ears.
"Seriously, how long does it take to search a house? This is taking like… forever! And what is up with the smell, man? This place smells worse than Plutarkian socks on laundry day", Vinnie grumbled with wrinkled nose as he made his way to his bike.
"I don't know about you, dude, but I'm outta here."
Modo didn't even try to stop him, for he knew it would probably need a few grenades or perhaps even a tank to stop his young bro from fleeing from his problems.
Like he always did.

...and then there was only one.

Heaving a sigh, the grey-furred giant sank down on the chair as he put a dried blade of grass in his mouth.
Earth.
What a place.
What a messed up, upside-down place.

…

Throttle slowly sat down on the wooden fence that surrounded the property, placing his feet on the lower plank and after taking a deep breath, he put on his helmet and activated the radio.
"Throttle to Carbine, over."
A static sound followed and as he listened to it, his mind already wandered off again.
It felt as if he was going crazy.
All he could think of was Charley.
And the more he fought to chase her away, the more pressing her presence became.
Her scent was stuck in his nose, somehow.
Her image burned inside his brain.
Her voice echoing in his ears.
His heart was beating for her and her alone, but that was not how it's supposed to be and the guilt…
Oh man, the guilt…
It was literally killing him.
Hearing her characteristic, slightly hoarse voice coming over the radio only made it worse, as far as that goes.

"Carbine for Throttle, over."

Throttle lowered his head and his hands clung onto the fence as he tried to calm down his racing heart, which was useless, of course.
He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath before opening his mouth again.
"Hey, babe… Just checking in for our daily report..."
Even his voice pictured how he felt.
Tired.
Emotionally drained.
But Carbine either didn't notice it or ignored it.
Both options were quite possible, actually.

"So what's your 20, Throttle?"

Okay…
Good day to you too.
It somehow surprised him that she called him by his name and not by rank, but another pang of guilt soon followed up that, in his opinion, childish thought.
He wasn't being fair right now.
This was Carbine he was talking about.
And this was her way of dealing with everything that came with war.
He of all mice should know that.
He had learned this the hard way, after all.
She distanced herself from the pain, the misery, the sorrow, from all that was negative actually, just to protect herself.
Holding onto her rank and duty to stop herself from drowning, even if the Freedom Fighters didn't really use ranks.
But as a former General of the Martian Army, Carbine needed that name and everything that came along with it in order to survive.
Her duty came first, no exception.
Only then was she able to remain on her feet.
To have control over things that were in reality uncontrollable.

Unfortunately, she didn't only distance herself from all the bad things, but from the good things as well.
Perhaps they were rare in the days of war, but they were still there and so important to keep the flame of hope alive.
Good things such as friendship.
Family.
Love.
He couldn't even remember when it was the last time that she told him she loved him.
And he wondered...
Did she still love him?

"We're still close to the place where we were when we talked yesterday. We uh… had some troubles along the way, some that needed to be handled. Something that has to do with that bounty, and all…", he explained a bit vague, not really in the mood to tell her all the details, for they didn't matter, in his opinion.

"Oh."

Only Carbine was able to put so much disapproval in a word as simple as 'oh' and Throttle clenched his teeth in both annoyance and helplessness, for this was all so familiar.
A bit too familiar, for his taste.
He somehow wished that she was still as vulnerable as she had been during their first talk, even though it had shattered his heart into a million pieces at the same time.
But at least she wasn't the robot she was now.
Man, she really was a mouse with two faces, which made this whole thing beyond complicated.
And he wondered...
Did he still love her?

A part of him did.
He loved her true face.
He probably would love that part of her for the rest of his life.
It was that part that had made him fall in love with her in the first place.
But he hated her mask.
And it was the mask that was, increasingly, getting the upper hand.
She was slipping away and all he could do was standing by her side, completely powerless and allowing her to drag him with her.
And now…
Now he was miles away from her, yearning for another woman while she was there, fighting to keep her head above water, all alone.
It was the worst betrayal he could think of.
Who would sink that low?
He would, apparently.

The tan-furred mouse cleared his throat, fiddling with his fingers.
"Anyway… As soon as Charley is done with searching the place here, we'll be ready to continue our path."
He fell silent again, and despite the maddening guilt, he was still a bit annoyed by the treatment she gave him, but he knew that the best he could do right now was to ignore her ice-cold attitude and so, he opened his mouth to ask her how she and the rest were doing, but the speaker in his helmet already came back to life before he could.

"Who's Charley?"

Throttle frowned by hearing this question, trying to ignore the sharp tone while he was at it, but then it suddenly hit him like a meteor.
He had never told her about Charley.
He hadn't mentioned her name, not once.
And he wondered why that was.
Was it because he had left this beautiful green-eyed creature out of their conversations on purpose?
Or had he just casually forgotten to tell about her?
Hm.
If he had to be honest, it was probably the first option.
He had this urge to keep her to himself.
Like a… secret.
And not like a dark and dirty secret, no…
A secret that carried light and hope.
A secret that made him feel weightless.
As if he was floating.
A secret that kept him going, even though it was tearing him apart at the same time.

But, of course, Carbine immediately felt her position threatened, even though she didn't even know Charley.
It could be a man for all she knew, but somehow, she seemed to have an antenna for girls who only thought so much of coming close to him, regardless their intentions.
Well, maybe she had.
She was a Martian Cave Mouse, after all.
And she did have a pair of antennas sticking out of her head.
Next to that, she might be right about this one.
About her position being threatened.
Was she?
Being right?
He had made his choice, after all.
And he had chosen her.
As he always did.
But did he really?
Made his choice?

Damn, this whole thing was going to be the end of him if he wouldn't make up his mind any time soon.
How long was he supposed to sustain this heart-wrenching conflict?
How long before he would break?
Yet, he didn't say any of this.
No, he just did what he always did.
Trying to maintain the peace, as the peacemaker he was.
To be the wise and calm adult that he was supposed to be, although it felt as if he was stuck in the worst play ever written.
(A/N; ouch, now that's like slapping myself in the face, bwahaha!)
"She's… not that important, Carbine. Just a friend who helps us to get to California in one piece…"

Not that important...
That was probably the biggest lie he had ever said out loud and his cheeks burned a bit as he stared at his feet, somehow feeling ashamed.
But the last thing they needed right now was Carbine on a warpath.
Still, it felt wrong.
It was wrong.
Everything was wrong.
Nothing made sense, not anymore.
It wasn't that the world was just turned upside down, no, it was twisted in these bizarre twists and turns, blurry and elusive.

"How noble."

Man.
His beloved light-grey-furred General was extremely moody today, even for her.
With a sigh, Throttle took off his glasses and rubbed his bionic eyes, who were in desperate need of some eye drops.
But the small bottle Ben had given him was safely stored in his bike, which was currently still standing in the barn.
And he didn't want to face his bro's, not just yet, because he didn't need a mirror to know that he probably looked like shit at the moment.
They would ask him what was wrong and when he would tell them that it was about Carbine, they both would get that look on their face that practically screamed 'I told you she's bad news!' and he somehow wasn't ready for that.

Maybe that was because deep down, he knew they were right.
She wasn't good for him.
This whole mask of hers was the reason why their relationship was on the rocks, but he somehow just couldn't let her go.
His bro's didn't understand, heck, he hardly did for himself so how could they?
But there were already so many people who had let her down.
Who she had chased away.
Who had given up on her.
He couldn't give up on her.
He just couldn't.

No one should be alone.
His father had taught him that.
To never judge and to be there for people, even if those same people did everything within their power to chase you away.
Stoker had confirmed this.
'You never run. You just stay put and fight.'
And so he did, not knowing where to draw the line.
Not knowing when it was okay to stop fighting for something that was already lost.
Something that was beyond saving.
A lost cause...

"Come on, babe. You know I have a terrible sense of direction, so does Modo and don't even get me started on Vinnie. The last thing we need is to get lost, right? Like I said; she's just a friend with her heart at the right place."
So that was just a horrible attempt to lighten up the mood a bit, which failed miserably.
No surprise there.

"A friend huh? By the Gods, you can be so naive sometimes, Throttle."

"And you can be so paranoid sometimes, Carbine", he snapped back without thinking, his fur bristled.
Perhaps it wasn't the wisest thing to say, especially not with the sharp tone his voice suddenly had.
A raw edge.
But hearing the derogatory tone in her voice made his blood boil all of a sudden.
Especially because this was technically about Charley.
No one was allowed to speak ill of her.
Not even Carbine.
Especially not Carbine.

"You call it paranoid, I call it being realistic. You can't trust anyone who isn't ours, Throttle and you know it. Own people first, remember?"

Yeah, sure, own people first.
He might have had chosen his own people over the humans if the choice hadn't been rather limited after crash landing on a planet that wasn't theirs and Throttle shook his head in disbelief before he put his glasses back on.
She really was unbelievable.
Own people first, right.
Heck, she would probably execute her own people if someone would tell her that they had betrayed her, paranoiac as she was.
Besides, was it not her who told him that a few humans took her, Stoker and the rest in to help them?
Humans, not mice.
And that without them, they probably would be dead by now?
Man.
Such a hypocrite.

Time to change the subject, for he knew that starting this discussion wouldn't do any good to this already horrible conversation.
Even worse, he was about to lose his patience and that was the last thing he wanted right now.
He was simply too tired for it.
"Whatever, Carbine. How are things over there?"
Apparently, miracles did exist after all, because she went along with it.
Thank the Mothers of Mars she did.

"Still pretty much the same. Still stuck under the ground. I found some medical supplies during our last recon though. Antibiotics. Exactly what Stoker needed. It ain't enough, but it at least bought him a few extra days. Which is just as well, hearing about your… delay."

And there it was.
The first real personal shot at him.
Below the belt, of course.
Carbine style.
Man.
And he suddenly had enough of this.
He knew her.
He knew her better than anyone else.
There was nothing in this world that he could say or do to change the awful mood she was in now, so he might as well stop trying.
"Is he awake?"

"Sometimes. At least enough to mope and cry about how bored he is."

Well, that sounded like Stoker, alright.
And he suddenly yearned for a good talk with his mentor and coach.
To talk to the person that came closest to a father figure after losing his real father, now years ago.
If only to hear his voice.
"Is he awake now? Can I talk to him?"
A long silence followed and Throttle drummed with his fingers on his leg, trying to keep his calm. He had no idea why she wasn't answering him, but when he was about to ask her again, the radio came back to life and his heart skipped a few beats when he heard who it was.

"Hey, rookie. How's it hanging?"

Although his voice wasn't as powerful as it used to be, it was still his voice and a smile appeared on Throttle's face, for a moment everything else forgotten.
Even Charley.
He suddenly felt twenty pounds lighter and it was like a breath of fresh air.
"Stoker! Man, am I glad to hear the sound of your voice. But I should ask you the same thing. Heard you took quite the knocking…"

"Hey, nothing knocks this mouse down. I never run outta gas and don't you know it."

But even though he tried to sound lightly, the pain was clearly audible in his raw voice and again, Throttle shook his head in disbelief, although there was a small hint of amusement as well.
The guy was even more stubborn than Vinnie and that was saying something.
And then there was his ego...
"So what, you just lie in bed all day because of your desperate need for a beauty sleep?"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Throttle my mouse, you disappoint me. You should know by now that being as handsome as I am, the last thing I need is a beauty sleep. But okay… I've gotta admit; I've had better landings. Don't tell the punk I said that."

It was generally known that there was an unwritten, never-ending competition going on between Vinnie and Stoker, both always trying to outclass one another.
Therefore, it wasn't the first time that Throttle heard this request and as always, he honored it.
"My lips are sealed, coach. So, Carbine told me something along the lines of you keeping everyone out of their sleep with your whining. You do realize that it makes you sound like an old man, right?", he asked teasingly, still with that smile on his face.
It felt somewhat refreshing, to have a casual conversation and hearing Stoker's voice really did him good.

"Maybe, but you know what they say; a mouse is as old as he feels. You can fill in the rest. But enough about me. How are you and your squad?"

Okay.
So far for a casual conversation and Throttle's smile vanished like smoke in the wind by hearing the question that brought him back to reality in only the blink of an eye.
"Well… Things are…", he started but he then trailed off again before he could tell another lie.
It was almost a reflex to tell everyone around him that things were fine.
Hard, maybe, but fine nevertheless.
But the thing was; he was everything but fine.
In fact, he had never been this lost as he was now.

If only Stoker was here.
As in; physically.
To help him sort out this mess.
To make him a good leader again.
One where people could rely on, instead of this shadow of what he was supposed to be.
But he wasn't here.
And since Stoker was hiding under the ground along with a couple of others, he couldn't speak up his mind.
He couldn't say the words that were meant for Stoker's ears only, for he just knew that the others were listening.
He knew he would, if he was stuck under the ground with nothing else to do.
So, he took another deep breath before he continued, although with reluctance.
"...fine. Things are fine."
A long silence followed and Throttle already started to get annoyed again because this was the second time that someone let him hanging, but then, Stoker's voice filled his ears again.

"You're good at a lot of things, Throttle, but lying ain't one of them. But before you even start, I've cleared the room for ya. So, now it's just us, I'm just gonna ask again; how are things over there?"

That was the opening he so desperately yearned for, but now it was there, Throttle suddenly didn't know what to say anymore.
How on Mars was he going to explain all this to his coach?
This mess, that was too complicated to unravel.
Well, perhaps being honest was a good start.
Every story had a beginning.
So did this one.
"You're right. Things are… not fine. Things are complicated, actually. Very complicated. I just… I just don't know what to do, Stoke... I screwed up. Big time. And everything just keeps spiraling down, no matter how hard I try to fix it…"

Honest or not, it still didn't make any sense, but nothing did at this moment.
His head was just as messy as this whole story was.
Chaotic.
For the first time in his life, he had lost sight of who he was.
Of what he wanted.
Not just that.
He had lost sight of his vision, his mission, his everything.
So, yeah… he was lost alright.
Wandering to find the right path, but each one he chose had either dead ends or awfully dangerous boobytraps, forcing him to go back to the dark and impenetrable forest that was called his mind.
A place without light.
Without hope…

"You're making no sense whatsoever. So why don't you start at the beginning, huh?"

"It's a long story, Stoke, and time is ticking, remember?"

"Nah. We've got some time. I ain't going anywhere, not for a little while and the meds are doing their job for now, so why the rush, kiddo? Just take a deep breath and tell me everything and don't even think of leaving out the juicy details. I've always loved a good story. So spill it. And that's an order, rookie."

Throttle let out his breath as a small smile curled his lips.
That's Stoker for ya.
He climbed off the fence and sat down on the ground with his back resting against the wooden planks. After making himself comfortable, he picked a small flower that was growing in the green and fresh grass underneath him.
And while his tan-furred fingers explored the soft and unfamiliar material, his gaze fixated on the soft pink leaves, the apprentice started his story, as requested by his master.
A story about a mouse named Throttle, who fell hopelessly in love with a human named Charley.
A story without a written ending, let alone a happy one.
But it wasn't always the ending that mattered.
Sometimes, the journey was more important than the destination.
As it was now.

'All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware.
All one has to do is keep moving to find out along the way, for the way is the destination itself.'

And so our brave warrior did.
He kept moving, determined to find his way.
And one day, he would come home.
Wherever that may be.

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.
The tension just keeps rising.
It has to explode someday, right?
Maybe it will...
Hehe.

Also a glimpse inside Throttle's and Carbine's 'relationship', hope it all made sense to you.
This story is quite the challenge to write, to say the least, especially in a language that isn't my own, but I'm doing the best I can to explain things as well as I can with the least possible spelling errors.
I can only hope you guys are still following me.

Oh my gosh, the number of words of this chapter is going through the roof, so I'm gonna stop talking.
Hope you guys liked the chapter.
Feel free to leave a review once you're done, always very much appreciated and sorry for my chattiness, hehe.

Later dudes!

Ps: for the TMNT-fans out there, Rob Paulsen is doing another live signing this Saturday for TMNT only, along with his co-actors. So check out his Instagram for this once in a lifetime opportunity.