Disclaimer: Harry Potter story - J.K. Rowling glory!

About formatting:
For direct quotes from J.K. Rowling I use italicized font.
Quotes from Rita's article are in bold font.
Instead of footnotes I use double bold parentheses: (-( footnote text )-)

CHAPTER 2
The Weighing of the Wands

"I wonder if I could have a little word with the… let's say, spiritized Champion," Rita Skeeter said to Bagman, "You know… to add a bit of color?"
"Er-" said Bagman, "if miss has no objections…"

"Oh, I'd love it," said Myrtle enthusiastically, "I've always dreamt of giving interview to 'Modern Witch'."
"It's called 'Witch Weekly' nowadays, dear," said Rita, "and I do write for them.
Now, where would be a good place…."

"I know just a perfect room close by," said Myrtle, "It's a bathroom, really nice and cozy."
"Er-" said Rita, for a moment taken aback, "Yes, that sounds lovely. Lead the way."

Fast forward.
Two days later in the middle of the night.

The life of Hogwarts ghosts is dull and boring.
Therefore, when "Witch Weekly" published an article about one of their own, they all gathered in the Great Hall to read the article together.

First they were served some refreshment, meaning they sniffed food and clinked wineglasses.
Then it was entertainment time.
The Fat Friar, unanimously elected The Honorable Reader, was in his element.
He paused in all the proper places, dramatically raised his voice or lowered it almost to a whisper, having completely captured the attention of the audience.

"Of course, you've looked death in the face before, haven't you?" I ask this charming girl, "How would you say that's affected you?"

"Scared the shit out of me; so now I haunt a bathroom," Peeves slipped in a quick remark.
"One more potty joke and you can say goodbye to your walking sticks," Bloody Baron calmly retorted.

A soft moan emerges from those gorgeous lips as she is reminded of her tragic past.
- Oh, it was awful. Sometimes at night I still cry about my death. I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Our conversation turns to the trials, awaiting her.
- How do you feel about the tasks ahead? Exited? Nervous?
- I know nothing will hurt me during the tournament, because my parents are watching over me from above.
(I made inquiries in advance and found that her parents, being Muggles, died of old age a while ago)

Then I decided to probe delicately into more personal matters.
I remember myself at her age and how I suddenly realized that half of Hogwarts students are, in fact, boys….
(And that their emotional range is comparable (when combined) with a teaspoon.)

"Myrtle," I ask her in a roundabout way, "Do you fancy some particular boy? Whom you'd like to kiss? Snog? Shag? All of the above?"
- Oh, you wouldn't believe how rude some of them are. How they call me.
- Fat Myrtle! Ugly Myrtle! Miserable, moaning, moping Myrtle!

"She had forgotten 'pimply'," Peeves eagerly reminded everyone and added in sugar-sweet voice, "Just for the sake of not omitting the details."

- But there is, in fact, one, whom I wouldn't mind sharing a bathroom with.
- No, don't ask who he is; It's my secret which I will take to the grave.
- Although his name rhymes with 'carry'.

And on this mysterious remark our conversation ends.

Fast backward, to the Wand Weighing.

"Host school first, I think," declared Ollivander in a polite bored voice, "miss Warren, may I inspect your wand, please?"
Myrtle handed him a half-transparent long stick with something like a thin rope, visible inside.

"Hmm," said Ollivander,
- 10 inches, 15 points and 7 twips, swishable and flickable,
(-( 1 point = 1/72 inch, 1 twip = 1/20 point; used in typography and computer graphics )-)

- This, if I am not mistaken, is a work of Lovegood, right?

- The wood is… ghost tree
(-( Davidia involucrate, a popular ornamental tree, sometimes is called ghost tree, because its large white bracts (leaves, surrounding flowers) somewhat resemble white sheets, associated with ghosts )-)

"And the core…" Ollivander stopped and gasped, "Merlin's beard!"

"So," asked Karkaroff after a short pause, "what's the core of her wand?"
- I've already told you, Merlin's beard; four hairs from the beard of Merlin, woven together.

The dead silence fell.
Karkaroff and madame Maxime looked in awe at ghost wand.

"FOUR hairs from Merlin," murmured Bagman.
"Probably one for each of four elements – air, earth, fire and water," silently mused Dumbledore.

How could other champions hope to compete against such super-powerful wand?

TO BE CONTINUED

Dear readers, feel free to borrow the super-duper-Merlinuper wand.
Just make sure it's in good condition when you return it.

The next chapter will be, naturally, 'The First Task'.
Who will win – Myrtle or Fleur or Krum?
Or, maybe... a draw?