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Chapter 43 - More than that

After a little time on his own, during which the initial panic of the almost-kiss with Tahlia died down, Daryl was yo-yoing between kicking himself for ruining the perfect opportunity to do the thing that he'd been wanting to do for so long, and being quietly impressed that he had actually managed to stop himself from doing the thing that he'd been wanting to do for so long.

But mostly he was just annoyed at himself for the way he'd reacted in the woods. He hated that he could be such a deer in headlights, so crippled by his emotions. Hated that words just failed him. Hated that there could be so much swirling inside him but no way to let it out.

But he was going to try. Had to try. Because staying away from her wasn't an option anymore - they were far too intertwined for that. So tangled up in one another that no matter which way he turned, she was all he could see.

Although no closer to figuring out what he would say, he did have a vague plan - get her on her own then attempt to talk, and if, at worst, all words and sense deserted him again, he would just say "You talk." and Tahlia, no doubt, would have plenty to say, and then he'd just see where that left them.

So.

He had fully intended to go and find her that afternoon, but the day got away on him. By the time he'd filled Rick in on the run, sorted through the supplies and cleaned out the Land Rover, it was already late, and he went to the courtyard only to find that Tahlia was on watch with Maggie. He'd headed back to his cell to shut his eyes just for an hour while he waited for her to finish, but then when he opened them again it was morning.

"Dammit." cursed Daryl under his breath as he dragged himself out of bed.

He knew that Tahlia would already be up and with Rick by now, and he was due to head out on that run to the house in the woods shortly so there'd be no time to catch her until after they were back that afternoon.

Well, maybe by that time, he might have at least thought of something to say.

First down at the vehicle bay, Daryl yawned widely as he sat in the driver's seat of the old Ford Ranger pickup, legs hanging out the open door as he waited for the others to join him.

"Morning!" Glenn greeted him as he threw his pack in the passenger side.

"Hey." grunted Daryl. "Others on their way?"

"Yup." Glenn squinted up the hill for a second, then pointed. "There they are now."

Ambling down the hill together were Sasha, Tyreese, Michonne and Tahlia.

Daryl sat up straighter. "Tahly's comin'?"

Glenn stretched his arms above his head. "Oh, yeah," he said casually. "Maggie's not feeling well today, so I asked Tahls to come along in her place."

Shit.

A crucial part of Daryl's plan to sort things out was that they would be alone. The thought of having to navigate this turn in their relationship in front of other people was already starting to send him into a tailspin. He wasn't even sure if he would be able to say hi.

Just then she looked up and caught his eye.

"Morning." She gave a little wave, a little smile.

A small incline of his chin was the best he could manage.

Nope. Not able to say hi.

Fucking great.

"Let's go." he muttered to Glenn.

"Ok! We'll see you guys there!" called Glenn, before climbing into the truck.

"Awesome, party car." sang Michonne as she swung herself into the Land Rover.

"Never too early for a party!" declared Tahlia as she slid into the backseat.

There was a slight twitch of apprehension in her stomach as she watched Daryl drive off. He hadn't ended up coming to find her yesterday, so she was no further clued as to where his head was at. But she was determined to smooth things over sooner rather than later, so had jumped at the chance to come on this run; the chance to keep herself in close proximity to him; keep herself on his mind.

Once they were on the road, Tahlia leaned forward from the back seat.

"So, what's the deal with this place again?"

"Well," started Sasha as she drove, "I came across this article in an old magazine in the prison library about this world-renowned surgeon who was also known for being very cutting edge in trying new techniques and all that kind of stuff, but throughout his career there were a few complaints, and then there was an investigation about his involvement with missing people from this homeless shelter that he was linked to – community service work or something. Anyway, nothing stuck but he stopped practicing, then bought this big house in the woods not far from here and started operating it like a recovery residence for ex-drug addicts, a place for people who didn't have anywhere else to go. I was talking to Selena about it because her parents lived around here their whole lives, and she'd heard of him and said there was word that he was becoming increasingly paranoid and delusional and had built escape tunnels and secret passages and put razor wires on the fences and that kind of thing, and she said that there's always been rumours about dodgy stuff going on at the property, people going in and never been heard from again, but she didn't know much more. So, me and Glenn went to check this place out, and it's this big English manor style house surrounded by massive solid walls and a huge gate. We've been keeping an eye on the grounds outside the place for a while and there haven't been any tracks in or out, and as far as we can tell, there's not much going on inside either, except for a whole bunch of walkers inside the fences. So, we thought we would try and get in and see what we can score. We didn't want to leave it too long in case it gets hit by someone else."

"Hmm." mused Tahlia. "What if there's still people inside?"

"There doesn't seem to be. A few of us have spent a lot of time over the past weeks watching this place from a tree just outside the wall, and apart from walkers in the garden, we haven't seen any other movement."

"Right... so how are we getting in then?" asked Michonne.

Sasha shot her a quick grin. "We've got an idea."

"That sounds ominous."

After a while they were driving up a windy dirt road through the woods, overhanging trees making it look a lot darker than early morning. And then, without warning, high stone walls with looping razor wire on the top appeared in amongst the trees, leading to looming solid-panel iron gates with forged decorative swirling, indicating the entrance to the property.

"Damn... this is spooky. Like something out of a horror movie." Tahlia muttered, glancing up at the foreboding residence as they gathered together on the overgrown path in front of the gates.

"And that isn't?" scoffed Glenn, as a decaying walker stumbled out of the woods towards them, one arm twisted gruesomely, bone sticking through the rotting flesh, half of the skin on its face missing, displaying a cheek of gnashing teeth.

"A different type of horror movie." Tahlia clarified with a shrug as Michonne strode forward to take care of it.

"Damn. Tree's come down." Daryl indicated the fallen tree pressing up against one of the gates. "Gonna need to move that."

"What, so we shift that and then bust in through the gates somehow?" asked Michonne doubtfully as she looked up at the solid structure ahead of them.

"No." replied Sasha. "We don't want to make a big commotion here because it will draw all the walkers to this point. We want them away from the gates so that we can drive the cars in then shut them again behind us to keep any walkers out here from joining in the party too. We want to draw the walkers inside to a different point on the property, take them down there and keep this path clear."

Tyreese looked at his sister. "Yeah... so you still haven't told us how we're actually getting in."

"Follow me." Sasha started to lead them around the perimeter of the property through the dense bush.

Tahlia fell into step with Daryl, ignoring his obvious discomfort.

"Hey." she nudged him. "You all good?"

"Mm-hmm." he nodded, eyes on the ground in front of him.

She didn't want to say too much with all the others in earshot in case it made things worse, so tried to keep things light.

"Hershel was happy with that jewelweed. Maybe we could go out and get some more?" Then unable to help herself, with a laugh she added, "Although we might have to choose a different section of the bank to climb down. You know, just in case."

Daryl gave a sharp grunt at that as his cheeks flamed, but luckily, just then Sasha stopped them and indicated a round rusty grate over the top of a large concrete hole in the ground.

"We found the escape tunnel! We think. It had been pretty well concealed, looks like it hasn't been used in a long time."

"You want us to crawl down through there?" asked Tahlia, dubiously.

Sasha just wrinkled her nose apologetically.

Michonne crouched down and rolled the grate aside, peering down into the gloom. Shining a torch, she could see a ladder leading down about six feet, and then the tunnel opened up, looking like it led under the stone wall.

"Hopefully this isn't a sewer pipe." she remarked, pressing a hand to her nose at the putrid smell emanating from within. "Well, as good an entrance as any, I guess. Might as well check it out."

"Alright. Let's go." Daryl stepped up beside Michonne to the mouth of the hole.

"Wait!" Sasha stopped him. "We've got that issue of the fallen tree outside the gate, so we're going to need to shift that first."

"'Kay, let's shift it then go in."

"What? All of us go in there?" exclaimed Tahlia. "No way. If things go tits up, I'm not scrambling to get out with all you slow pokes jamming up the pipes. Way better for just a couple of us to go then open the gate to let you through."

Daryl's gaze shot up to hers immediately, a flash of alarm in his eyes at her words.

"She's right." agreed Sasha. "Makes more sense for the strongest to be out with the tree and probably the smallest going in here. So..." Sasha glanced between Michonne and Tahlia, her eyes settling on the latter and her smaller stature. "Looks like it might be you and me, short stuff."

"I've got at least half an inch on you!" retorted Tahlia with a grin. "But yeah, that makes much more sense. We'll go in."

A spike of concern shot through Daryl's chest and he stepped in closer to Tahlia. "Naw. That ain't happenin'. We stick together."

Tahlia wasn't sure if he meant everyone or just the two of them, but she shook her head all the same. "It'll speed things up if you guys shift the tree while we go through. And we might find we can't even get through! So, while you're doing that, we head on in, save time either way."

"You ain't goin' in." he growled through gritted teeth.

"She's got a point, Daryl." Michonne chipped in, now on the receiving end of Daryl's glare. "We're gonna need you out front."

"The rest of the plan still sticks." said Sasha. "You guys move the tree, we create some kind of diversion inside to draw all the walkers out to one place while we open the gates, take the walkers down, bring the cars in, shut the gates, check out the house, load up the cars, head back to the prison, no problems."

Glenn gave a snort of disbelief at that. There was no such thing as no problems.

Daryl's stomach was churning at the prospect of Tahlia going through that tunnel, but he was running really low on reasons why she shouldn't, besides the one reason that he wasn't able to voice.

"Should be me goin' in there. Not you girls."

"Excuse me?" Sasha raised an eyebrow in mock offense. "Us girls will be a million times more efficient than you in there. We're way smaller and faster, Tahlia can fight like a boss and I'm a dead shot. So don't give me that 'boys are better than girls' crap."

"I wouldn't argue with her." advised Tyreese.

"But..." Daryl wanted to protest further, but didn't know what to say without seeming unreasonably overprotective of Tahlia, so he just frowned and chewed on his lip instead.

"What else have I got to do this morning?" Tahlia said with a genuine smile as she stepped up to him and unhooked her katana from her back. "Hold on to this for me, would ya? It's only going to get in the way in there."

"Tahly..." he said quietly, helplessly, as he took the sword from her.

"I'll be fine." she assured him, reaching for his hand and giving it a squeeze. "See you real soon."

In the end, she had to tug her hand from his grasp because it didn't seem like he was going to let her go.

"Ok, let's go then." Sasha said decisively. "But..." she shot a fierce look around the group. "Don't come after us, ok? No matter what. Either we make it, or we don't. And you'll know soon enough. If we don't, then it was a bad plan, and you guys need to get your butts out of here."

The group immediately turned somber at her words. With the tragic end of the last run still fresh in their minds, the reality of how quickly things could go downhill was just descending on them now.

Tahlia tried to lighten it up by giving Sasha a little shove and rolling her eyes. "Way to kill my good buzz about going through that creepy-ass tunnel!"

"Shit, that was a bit ominous, wasn't it?!" Sasha laughed, grateful for her friend's distraction, despite the fact all the others were still staring hopelessly at her.

Then Tyreese reached for his sister and gave her a hug. "Alright. See you on the other side, sis!"

Michonne high-fived Tahlia. "Don't get bit."

"That's basically the whole plan right there." laughed Tahlia as she and Sasha donned headlamps, heading to the entrance of the tunnel. They hesitated for a moment, staring in, unable to see much beyond the bottom of the ladder, then they shared a nervous look.

Sasha glanced behind to Tyreese. "Make sure you roll the grate over when we're in. Don't want any shit crawling in after us." Then she turned back to Tahlia and elbowed her. "Go on then."

Tahlia elbowed her right back. "You go." Then swiveled a wide-eyed gaze to her friend. "What would be worse though... going first, or going last and having stuff creeping up behind you in a narrow tunnel?!" Her words rose in a faux-hysterical crescendo, as she dove for the ladder.

Sasha gave a shriek and tried to pull Tahlia back so that she could go in instead. "You suck! Let me go first!"

"Too late! Watch your back!" Tahlia called, laughing at Sasha's cursing.

The others could hear their giggles echoing as they reached the bottom of the ladder and disappeared from view.

"Well, if there's someone who could make that look fun, it's Tahly. I almost have FOMO." remarked Glenn drily as Tyreese rolled the grate back across the entrance.

"Come on, let's go shift that tree."

Daryl stared at the rusty grate, hearing Tahlia's voice below quickly fade away to nothing, every fibre in his body flaring violently as he yearned to drag her out of there and shove her safely back behind the prison fences.

As Glenn and Tyreese disappeared back around the corner of the walls, Michonne was about to follow when she noticed Daryl still fixated on the grate.

"You coming?" she asked. "Daryl! Come on!"

Then he whirled around to face her, agitated. "Shouldn'ta let her go in there! She weren't even meant to be comin' today! I gotta go in."

Michonne didn't need to ask which 'her' he was talking about as she frowned at him. "Huh?"

"I just... she..." He gestured to the tunnel and shook his head desperately. "Shouldn'ta let her go in!"

"Let her?!" repeated Michonne with a brow raised in challenge. "She's a big girl, Daryl. She can make her own decisions. And if you haven't noticed, she's pretty damn good at taking care of herself. She's not some damsel in distress."

"Know that." grumbled Daryl, looking slightly wounded. "Ain't meanin' it like that."

Cocking her head to one side, Michonne looked him up and down. "Then what's the issue? You're normally the one who doesn't blink an eye at the stuff we have to do out here. You know that we have to just get on with it, no matter how risky. Sure, there's always danger involved, but I've never seen you all twisted in knots like this. Why are you having a big freak out now?"

He shot her a severe glare.

She shook her head and carried on pointedly. "I mean, I know you're into her – don't try to deny it, I've seen the way you two are together. She might believe your little bullshit story about how you only want friendship from her, but I don't buy that for a second."

Daryl's brows shot up in alarm. "What?!"

"That's right." Michonne said with a stern look. "She told me about your little 'I only see you as a friend and will never see you as anything more' speech."

Daryl gaped at her. "That's what she thinks? But that ain't... I didn't... that ain't what I meant..."

Michonne's eyes lit up. "I knew it!" she crowed. "I knew she got the wrong end of the stick with that! You are into her, aren't you?!"

Understatement of the fucking century, thought Daryl, as he kept his eyes firmly on his boots, and chewed on his thumbnail for a long time before he muttered, "More than that."

Michonne narrowed her eyes as she processed his response. "You falling for her?"

Heaving a tortured sigh, Daryl tipped his head up to the sky. "More."

Breaking out into a grin, Michonne gave him a little push on the shoulder. "What, you in love with her or something?!" she asked delightedly.

Daryl screwed his face up and huffed out another breath. No point in denying it now. "There more than that?"

With a thrilled laugh, Michonne clapped her hands together. "Damn! How much light has she been shining on you?!"

Daryl dropped his face into his hands and let out a loud groan.

"Aw buddy. That bad, huh?" Michonne put her arms around him sympathetically and could feel him nodding into her shoulder.

"Yep." he muttered.

Releasing him, she propped her hands on her hips. "Well, what's the hold up? Why haven't you done something about it?"

"Fuck am I s'posed to to do?" replied Daryl miserably. "Ain't no good at this stuff."

Michonne hooked her arm through his and started leading him back around to the cars. "Just say something. Tell her what you just told me."

His whole body jerking at that, Daryl whipped his head around to look at her. "You damn crazy, woman?! Ain't gonna tell her that! Like I'm a fuckin' psycho or somethin'. And you ain't gonna tell her nothin' neither!" he warned vehemently. "Swear ya won't!"

Chuckling at Daryl's over the top reaction, she gave his arm a friendly squeeze. "Ok, ok, I won't breathe a word. But... if it helps you move things along, it's definitely not one-sided."

"It ain't?!" Daryl's voice filled with wonder now, astonishment on his face.

"Course it's not, dumbass! Are you completely blind?" exclaimed Michonne incredulously. "God, you two are the biggest idiots in the entire world! If she makes it out of there in one piece then you'd better hurry up and get your shit together!"

Daryl just stared blankly as they walked back around to the front of the property, his head spinning with a thought he'd never allowed himself the luxury of before - that Tahlia might actually reciprocate his feelings. It was sending him soaring, until the other thing that Michonne said flared in his mind, and he stopped suddenly, turning to stare at her.

"Wait. Why did ya say if she makes it outta there in one piece?!"

Michonne's eyes widened, and she attempted to avoid the question by giving a quick shrug, then distract him by propelling him towards the others to help shift the tree.

"Daryl, give us a hand with these ropes." Tyreese said as Daryl neared.

They made quick work of securing ropes to the tree and attaching them to the truck, ready to attempt to drag it away.

"Alright!" Daryl called to Glenn who was in the driver's seat. "Easy does it!"

Just then, muffled gunshots sounded and his head whipped around to the side of the property where Sasha and Tahlia had entered the pipe.

"Was that..?" Glenn asked unnecessarily.

Daryl vaulted over the log, about to dash around the wall, when Tyreese grabbed his arm.

"Daryl, no!"

"That's gunshots! They're in trouble!" Daryl tried to rip his arm out of the big man's grip, but Tyreese just held tighter and blocked Daryl's body with his own.

"Lemme fuckin' go, man! That's your sister in there too, y'know!" shouted Daryl, trying to shove Tyreese out of the way.

"Daryl!" said Michonne, sharp and firm as she grabbed his other arm. "You can't go in there. Not if they're shooting. You could get hit, and she'd never forgive herself for that."

"Can't go in there." echoed Tyreese. "Not yet."

Daryl glared at them, eyes flashing, tension rolling off him in waves. "What, ya wanna just stand out here and do nothin'?!"

"Hey. They're gonna be fine." Michonne's tone was low, steady, calm, even though she wasn't sure she believed her own words. "Let's get sorted out here and we'll be ready for them when they open the gates."

Anger fading like smoke on a breeze, Daryl was left with a bottomless pit of dread in his stomach.

He should have gone in there with her. If she didn't come out, he'd be going in there to find her anyway, no matter the risk. And if she did come out, he wouldn't be waiting another day to tell her... to tell her... fuck knows what, but something. He'd already waited far too long.

Michonne's voice broke through his worries. "Daryl? You good? Let's keep moving out here. When they get through, they're gonna need us on this side to get through the gates and help take out all the walkers in the yard. Ok? Ok?!"

Chewing on his bottom lip, Daryl finally gave a decisive nod. "'Kay. Let's shift this fuckin' tree."