Hey there!

So, uhm, yeah...
It took me like, forever, to update this story...
And I uhm... well, I'm sorry.
I hope you guys are still with me.
If not, I totally understand, although it would make me sad at the same time.

Either way, thanks for the reviews on the latest chapter and for the few follows and likes :)
You know what they say, right?
Better late than never, hehe.

Well, without further ado, here's the next chapter.
Enjoy! ^^

Chapter 36

-What if we rewrite the stars?-

Walking into the direction Charley had pointed out to him, Vinnie soon found Pip's footsteps in the sand, along with a trail he didn't recognize, but it wasn't really hard to guess that the strange paw prints belonged to that stupid dog.
As he put his hands in his pockets, he followed the trail, his heart pounding in his throat.
Somehow, he had a hard time believing that he was actually going to do this, for every cell in his body practically screamed to let it be.
To just turn around and go to sleep, just like he had been ordered to.

But the thing was, he didn't want to go to sleep and not only because his body was too restless.
No, if he had to be completely honest with himself, he actually wanted this.
The thought of going back only gave him a strange, reluctant feeling and so, he bravely continued his way, knowing she couldn't be far.
And indeed, it didn't take long before he found her.
The girl of the hour.

Sitting on a small hill next to the bigger mountain, close to something that looked like it had been a tree once, in better times.
Vinnie slowed down his pace the moment his eyes landed on her tensed back, feeling more nervous than he had ever been in his entire life.
There weren't many things that frightened him, but this, talking to a girl who obviously did something to him, was downright scary, to say the least.

A sudden wave of nausea made him stop dead in his tracks and for a moment, he just stood there.
Watching her, how she sat there, with the dog next to her.
How her right hand stroked the brown fur on his back absent-mindedly.
She just looked so… lost.

Again, her loneliness struck him like lightning, and he suddenly couldn't bear the thought that she was sitting there, all alone.
No one should be alone, and so, after taking a deep breath, the white-furred mouse forced himself to come into movement again.
When he almost reached her, a twig snapped under his feet.
The sound alarmed both the Earther and the dog, and they both turned around faster than the speed of light, Pip already back on her feet again.
When he heard a low growl, Vinnie's gaze landed on the dog and the sight of the animal showing him his sharp teeth made him quickly raise his hands.
"Chill, it's just me."

Pip lowered the gun that was already in her hand while she rested the other hand on the dog's head.
"Easy, boy, he's good people '', she said softly before her two-colored eyes darted over to Vinnie, who was still peering at the dog suspiciously, perhaps even a bit nervously.
"You really shouldn't sneak up on me like that, especially not in times like these. I could've killed you."

When the dog sat down again, Vinnie let out his breath before he gave Pip a somewhat confused yet arrogant look.
"Well, here's something you need to know about me, pretty lady. I don't sneak. It's below my standards. You just noticed my presence too late, which is just as dangerous in times like these. I mean, what if it wasn't me but someone with evil intentions, huh?"

Somehow, he wasn't able to keep the hint of concern out of his voice and of course, she picked it up without trouble, her eyes growing big in surprise.
"Is that why you're here? You were actually... worried about me?", she asked, her voice high in disbelief, but her lips already curled into a smug smile before he could respond and she shifted her weight to her left foot while resting her hand on her right hip.
"How unusual thoughtful of you."

Scowling at her, Vinnie opened his mouth to contradict her, really, it was almost like a reflex, but he then heaved a sigh in defeat, for he suddenly lacked the words to make some wisecrack back.
Somehow, her words hurt him, which in turn confused him enough for his brain to go blank.
Figures.

"Okay, you caught me. I came here, indeed, to check on you. But you're okay, obviously, so I ah… Well, I'll just leave you to it…", and he already turned around again, cursing himself for being so stupid.
She didn't need him.
She didn't need anybody.
Follow your heart.
Why, thanks, Charley-girl.
Such great advice.
Ugh.

But just when he was about to walk away, Pip's voice made him stop again.
"Wait! You uh… you don't have to go. I mean, yeah, I'm okay, but you're ah… you're free to join me, if you want to, of course… ahem."
Was she actually stuttering?
How… refreshing.

Slowly, he turned back around and when their eyes locked, a shiver ran down his spine.
There was this glance in her eyes that wasn't there before, something that made his heart pound even faster than it already did.
He couldn't really put his finger on it, which -again- confused him more than he liked to admit.

Giving himself a firm mental shake, he shrugged his shoulders, trying very hard to look nonchalant.
"Sure thing, sweetheart. It's not that I have better things to do, so… I got some time to spare, I guess."
"Well, I'm flattered that you're willing to take some time out of your busy crime-fighting schedule to join me here this afternoon", Pip snickered as she sat down in the sand again, but it were her eyes that now told him she wasn't so okay as she said she was.
They weren't twinkling as they usually did when she teased him.

Truth be told, it scared the shit out of him.
How on Mars was he going to be able to help her?
He was hardly able to take care of himself, let alone of her.
But the white-furred mouse stubbornly ignored this stupid little voice in his head and after a quick glance at the dog, who was now back to his happy self, he plopped down next to her.
As he rested his elbows on his knees, he took in the view of the city of fallen angels, which was kind of depressing, to be honest.

"I always hated this city with everything I had in me, but now it's gone and here I am, wishing for life to go back to normal again", Pip told him after a short and quite awkward silence as she too looked at the remains of the city.
"You lived here long?", Vinnie asked, resting his chin on his folded hands, forcing himself not to look at her, for her dizzying scent was already enough for him to deal with right now.
"Born and raised."
"Must be hard to see it like this."
"It is. It reminds me of all the things I've lost…"

"War does that. It takes things away, things we love and after that, it just constantly reminds us of the aching holes they have left behind", the young mouse said without thinking, but then he blinked a few times in surprise.
Okay, where the hell did that come from?
"Ahem, I mean uh…", he already started his attempt to make this whole thing sound as if he wasn't on the verge of jumping off a building, which he really wasn't of course, but Pip already nodded.
"You're right. That's exactly what it does…"

Even though he wasn't looking at her, he felt how she glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes.
"It must have been hard for you as well. To hear Stoker tell you that you're the only ones left standing. I can't even imagine what that must feel like..."
Well, it hurt like hell, but he wasn't planning on telling her that.
It wasn't exactly simple to explain to someone that hearing his entire race was wiped out affected him more than the death of his parents ever did, so why would he even try?
"Yeah, well. You get used to bad news along the way, so… It's nothing I can't handle", he shrugged, but damn that voice of his, giving away his pain.

Pip either didn't hear it or decided to ignore it, although he suspected it was the latter, a thing he was grateful for.
"I'm sure it is", was all she said, which was the beginning of another silence, but strangely enough, it felt less awkward than the first one.
No matter how hard he tried to keep his gaze at infinity, Vinnie eventually couldn't stop himself from glancing at the young girl sitting next to him.
It was kind of hard to believe that he had been so hellbent on killing her when they just met only a few days ago now, and he caught himself feeling grateful that he didn't.

But she had literally scared the shit out of him the moment he'd seen her face, something he had never seen coming.
All he wanted at that moment was to keep her away from him, preferably as far as possible.
And now, all he wanted was to keep her close.
Gosh, it was all just so… confusing, which was, if anything, an understatement.

"What happened to your family?", he almost blurted out, all to stop this train of thoughts from reaching its destination, for he wasn't ready to admit what she was really doing to him.
Not even to himself.
He wasn't sure if he would ever be.
Ready.
Goddammit, Harley.
Why did you leave me all alone?

Pip visibly tensed when she heard his question, and he already cursed that big mouth of his.
"Well, it's kind of a long story, not really interesting to listen to either…", she responded a bit evasive, but the thing was, he was genuinely curious about the story, whether it was long and boring or not.
That didn't happen that often.
Usually, he didn't really care about someone's story.
They all had one and they were all long and mostly boring.

But listening to her voice would already be enough.
He could sit here for hours, only listening to the quite joyful sound of her voice caressing his ears.
Fuck sleep.
Fuck all of that.
Being here with her already charged his battery more than sleep would ever be able to.
This was strange, to say the least.

"We've got some time. I'd really like to hear it. If you're up to it, that is", he therefore encouraged her, though a bit cautious, not wanting to put pressure on her like the two lovebirds had done this afternoon.
But this time, and much to his surprise, she just started talking and he couldn't help himself but feel flattered.
Eat that, Miss Campbell.

"Okay, well, you should know that my father worked for the government at the time of the invasion. For some reason, one that is still unknown to me, he had figured out that something was coming, although he had no idea what. He only knew that it was bad. I remember the day as if it was yesterday… I was only thirteen, but I will never forget the look on his face when he suddenly came home early — he was absolutely terrified. He just barged in and ordered us to pack our stuff, only bare essentials, before he went out to warn the neighborhood. You know, to tell them they needed to get the hell out of there, that God was about to unleash hell on us… I watched him from my bedroom window. I saw how everyone laughed at him. Some of them even slammed the door in his face. They all thought he had lost his mind and at the time, I could only agree with them… I hardly recognized him anymore, it was crazy."

The last part came out with a laugh, although it wasn't one of joy.
More like one in disbelief, telling Vinnie she was obviously blaming herself for even thinking this, especially now it turned out that he had been right.
Of course, he could tell her she was just a kid, that she had no idea, but he didn't.
It wouldn't help her.
Too little, too late.
And so, he said nothing.
He just gave her the space she needed to continue, and so she did.

"Anyway, he brought us, and with us I mean my mom, my brother and me to some heavily guarded governmental safe room, somewhere in the mountains, but they didn't let us in. Of course they didn't, he was the only one who knew something was gonna happen. No one else did, I'm not sure why not, all I remember is that no one believed him. He went ballistic, you know, completely lost control. It was scary, to say the least, for my father was a calm man by nature. I'd never seen him like this, and it was then that I suddenly realized that he was right. That he wasn't going crazy. All he wanted was to protect his family…"

Pip fell silent for a moment and she rubbed her face with slightly trembling hands, shaking her head at the same time.
"I just wish I told him that, you know. That I believed him. But the chaos was immense. Right before the guards almost shot him, my mother was able to drag him back to the car. I don't think I'd ever seen her so furious. If I have to guess, her anger planted a seed of doubt in my dad's mind, and so she eventually persuaded him to bring us back home. Just when we got on our way back, all hell broke loose…"

Vinnie was just sitting there, entirely motionless, hanging on every word that came over her lips.
Somehow, she was able to tell it with just the right amount of emotion, which made it so easy for him to picture it in his head.
As if he had been there, that day.
Well, it probably helped that he had been through something similar, of course, but still.
It just felt so… real.

"I'm not entirely sure what exactly went down at that moment, there were explosions everywhere, flashes of lights, ear-deafening bangs… It felt as if I just walked into one of those war movies my brother used to watch, movies I wasn't allowed to see, but I always hid under his bed to watch them with him…"

A small smile curled her lips as she stared in the distance with a dreamy look on her face, obviously sucked back in time for a moment while sharing this memory.
Vinnie smiled too, amused by her stubbornness and not surprised to hear that even as a child, she didn't let anyone tell her what to do.
After a short silence, Pip heaved a sigh as she slightly shook her head, forcing herself to return back to reality.

"Anyway, my father turned the car and drove back to the safe room, laughing like some sort of maniac. He kept hollering that he was right and the government wasn't, I dunno, it just became too much for him, I guess. My mom started to hit him, screaming at him that he needed to shut up, really, it was crazy, as if they were possessed or something like that. I just kept crying that they both needed to be quiet, for they scared the shit out of me, but then, out of nowhere, there was this tree…"

For the first time since she started talking, her voice broke a little and she fell silent, staring at her fiddling fingers.
After a short hesitation, Vinnie's tail gently snaked around her calf, putting pressure on just the right spots to comfort her, an old Martian trick he had learned from Stoker.
Not that he would ever say it out loud, but his violence-stained past had left him with an unhealthy anxiety problem, but Stoker had taught him how to deal with it.
Or at least, with the panic attacks.

It seemed to do the trick for Pip as well, for he could hear her heartbeat slow down a bit.
She even continued her story, as if she was desperate to share it with someone.
Maybe she was.
They said it could be liberating.
To talk about all the bad stuff that happened to one.
Yeah, well…
He was still debating whether to believe it or to write it off as utter nonsense.
Probably the second…

"The tree fell on the front part of the car, crushing both of my parents like bugs, it was awful, there was blood everywhere… Roan, my brother, managed to keep his head cool, though, which is more than I can say. I was in shock, he told me later on. I think he's right. I can't really remember what happened next. All I know is that Roan eventually managed to get us inside the safe room. We stayed there for over a year, and while we were waiting until it was safe enough for us to go outside, my brother, who was a soldier at the time, started training me. When I was ready, we hit the road and we wandered through the country, doing everything we could to survive. It was tough, but at least I was with my brother. My big brother, who would give his life to protect me. And now Limburger has him… God, I can't lose him, I just can't. He's all I have…"

She wasn't really crying.
She was just… broken.
Fighting to keep the pieces together, but the thing was, the pieces were already separated, like an unsolved puzzle.
One way or another, her life was ruined.
No one was able to deny or fix that.
But the least he could do was try, right?
"You won't. Lose him. We'll get him out. I promise you", Vinnie told her firmly, knowing perfectly well that this wasn't something he could promise her, for he didn't even know if the guy was still alive, but dammit, all he wanted was to ease her pain, although he knew deep down that nothing really could.

She seemed to realize the same thing and she turned her head to look at him.
"My father always taught me not to make promises if you can't keep them…"
"Wise man, your father…", Vinnie breathed, suddenly almost drowning in her eyes, for her face was only inches away from his.
How did that happen?
Somehow, he expected her to turn away, to create some distance, but she didn't.
She just stared back into his eyes, biting her lower lip and he just… snapped, or something like that.

It wasn't the same as with Charley, it wasn't just a burning desire, no, it was more like his soul wanted to connect with hers, which sounded overly dramatic, but shit, it was the truth.
Like primal instinct.
As his right hand slid from her neck into her braided hair, he gently pulled her even closer and pressed his lips on hers, completely overwhelmed by this urge to be close to her.
To feel her.
To taste her.
It was a feeling entirely new to him, not even Harley had been able to trigger this and it completely swept him off his feet.

It wasn't that he wanted to use this as an excuse for what he was currently doing, but truth be told, if he wasn't this dazed by her entire presence and everything that came with it, he would've remembered her fear for affection.
If his head would've been clear, he never would've kissed her.
But he did.
Shit, he did.
And she… Well, she had her own way of dealing with things.
She was fully entitled to that.
If only it wasn't him who triggered that part of her.

The moment their lips made contact, Pip's entire body froze, which was already enough to snap him out of this cloud of whatever this was, but he simply wasn't fast enough.
That's a first.
A soft moan escaped Pip's mouth before she planted her hands on his chest and pushed him away with everything she had in her.
While he quickly used his hands to stop himself from rolling off the hill by placing them behind them, for she was pretty strong given her size, the young Earther was already back on her feet, a bewildered look on her face.

Cupcake, who had been lying quietly at her feet until now, also jumped up and lined himself up between them with raised lips, growling loudly as drool dripped between his sharp-looking teeth.
But strangely enough, all Vinnie cared about was Pip and he too scrambled back on his feet, his hands already in front of his body as he took a few steps away from her to give her some extra space.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, that was… out of line", he told her, his heart crying by the sight of her standing there, entirely overwhelmed by panic.
Her entire body quivering, her breathing coming out in rapid breaths, her eyes wide open, glazed over by pure fear…

Goddammit.

Why couldn't he just stop and think for once in his goddamn life?
The fear he had seen this afternoon when Liv hugged her, was nothing compared to what she was showing now.
This was… unforgivable.
Stupid.
So, so goddamn stupid.
"Pip…"

He had no idea what to do.
No idea what to say.
He somehow felt the urge to walk away and not because he didn't want to take responsibility for his actions, for he did, but all because he so desperately wanted to give her the space she needed so much right now.
But leaving her behind like this went against everything he was and so, he just stood there, giving her an almost pleading look, eyes burning with regret.

Pip closed her eyes as she tried to get her breathing back under control, her hands clenched into fists, but it was hard for her, he could tell.
It wasn't really hard to guess what happened to her that made her react like this, for she already kind of told him after the whole debacle with the kid yesterday.
Truth be told, he hadn't been entirely sure if he had taken her signs the right way, for he wasn't really the 'vague signs' kind of guy, but not even he could go around it, not anymore.
She was raped.

It was a fact, one that did not only make him angry but also strengthened the need to protect her.
To make sure something like that would never happen to her, ever again.
And you're doing such a great job so far… not.
He obviously had still much more to learn.

As the seconds ticked by almost in slow motion, Pip eventually managed to get herself back under control, or at least, enough to be able to speak.
"N-no… no sorry, I'm… I'm the one who s-should say… s-sorry. I just… I c-can't do this right… right now…", she panted, her eyes still closed as she raised her almost uncontrollable shaking hands to rub her temples.
"Don't say that. This isn't your fault. Don't you ever think it's your fault", Vinnie told her fiercely, already taking a step in her direction again, but Cupcake conducted a feint attack, barking loudly and the white-furred mouse quickly backed away again, thanking everything holy that the dog was only threatening him so far.

Still, it made him more than just nervous and he shot Pip a stuffy look.
"Can you please remind your overenthusiastic furry friend here that I'm one of the good guys?"
All Pip did was whistle between her teeth and the dog immediately lay down, although he still kept a close eye on the white-furred mouse in front of him.
Relieved that the threat of him turning into a dog's chew toy had passed for now, Vinnie let out his breath and leaned against the tree, his hand resting on the burned log.
"Thanks."
"Don't mention it", Pip sighed, finally starting to calm down again and she slowly opened her eyes, although she still avoided his gaze.

It somehow scared him.
He wasn't easily frightened, God knew he wasn't, but right now, he was.
Absolutely terrified that he had damaged their bond before it even had the chance to develop by doing something unthoughtful and crude, something like kissing her.

"Look, Pip, I meant what I said. I never should've done that. I saw the look on your face this afternoon, when Liv held you. I… Well, for what it's worth, I never meant to hurt you or to take advantage of you. I just wasn't thinking, as always, although that's hardly an excuse either…", he babbled, desperate to fix this crack before it could really tear them apart.
The thought alone made him want to sit in a corner and cry, and holy shit, that usually didn't even cross his mind.

But Pip shook her head, her eyes still lowered.
"It's okay, Vince. I know you didn't do it to hurt me. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but kissing someone usually means you like them, right?"
Vince.
She just called him Vince.
No one had ever called him that.
For a moment, he was too stunned to do anything, let alone talk back, although the slightly teasing tone that was audible in her voice again made him almost drop down on his knees to kiss the ground, all to show his massive gratitude to whoever ran destiny.

But then, he fully realized what she was implying here, and again, he almost protested.
But that would be hypocritical, right?
After all, he did kiss her.
All because he, indeed, liked her.
There ya go.
That wasn't so hard to admit, or was it?
"Fair enough, but pushing away the person who's kissing you usually means that you don't feel the same way…"
Shit, did he really just say that?
I guess you did.

"Ugh, never mind, I totally understand why you did, so…", he quickly told her, but it was then that she looked up again, straight into his eyes.
"It's not that I don't like you because so help me God, I do. I just can't do… well, I don't handle someone touching me very well, as you may have noticed…"
The last part came out a bit insecure, but Vinnie hardly heard it.
She liked him.
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

She just said, out loud, that she liked him.
And his heart fluttering in his chest only confirmed that he, indeed, liked her too.
Very, very much, even.
The time of denial was over.
Oh, it was over, alright.

And so, he gave her a warm smile, not even that arrogant this time.
"It's okay. We have time, or at least, I hope we do. We can take things slow. Just take all the time you need, okay? You're in the lead here."
Her entire face lit up, which was cute, to say the least and he suddenly realized that she had been scared of his rejection.
As if he would reject her for something that she had been a victim of.
Never.

"You're really willing to do that? To… wait?", she asked softly, a hopeful glance in her beautiful eyes, although it was mixed with a healthy portion of disbelief.
"I mean, no offense, but you don't really strike me as the patient kind of guy, you know…"
"Some things are worth waiting for", Vinnie said just as softly, highly surprised by himself for saying this.
Yeah, well.
There's a first time for everything, or so they say.

But then, completely out of nowhere, the tide turned.
Or well, Pip did.
It was as if she just now fully realized what was happening here and her face darkened as she gave him this look, one that told him she had a hard time believing him.
Throttle had already mentioned to him that this girl was dealing with some serious trust issues and as it turned out, that was true, although that wasn't really a shocking discovery, considering her experiences.

Perhaps she had been thrown off guard by him kissing her, but that was evidently of limited duration.
The small spark of hope in her peculiar eyes got shaded by skepticism, accompanied by confusion and a hint of suspicion.
Hm.
Maybe whoever ran destiny wasn't going to let him get off the hook that easily after all.
Swell.

After gawking at him for a little while longer, still with that awful expression disfiguring her usually pretty face, Pip snorted as she raised her eyes up to heaven.
"Riiight… Well, you almost got me there for a moment. Great performance, I'll give you that."
Vinnie pressed his lips in a tight line by hearing her slightly condescending tone of voice, not able to hide his displeasure by being branded a liar.
"Ouch, babe. Ouch. I'm being genuinely sincere here and all you do is stab me in the back. Classy", he muttered the last part, folding his arms while shaking his head.
Women.
Always so thoughtful.
You're one to talk.

Pip blinked a few times with a hint of regret written upon her face and she studied him with a certain intensity, obviously trying to figure out if he was really genuinely sincere here or that there might be a possibility that he was messing with her, which he wasn't, of course.
But, slightly insulted as he was, he put on his best poker-face, not intending to make this easier for her.

There was a long and awkward silence, but eventually, she gave up and let out her breath.
"Look, again, no offense, but your capriciousness is giving me a headache. First, I was on top of your kill list and now you suddenly kiss me. And to top it all off, you even claim that you like me now. I hate to break it to you, but you're kind of a tough act to follow, mister. So don't blame me for being skeptical."

Although she tried to sound confident and calm, her entire body language gave away unease and even a hint of shyness, making him come to the conclusion that she obviously didn't know how to stand around him, which wasn't really strange, considering that she was right.
He was a tough act to follow.
Always had been.
Sometimes even he had a hard time following himself.

Either way, perhaps the time had come to share some of the wealth with her.
To prove to her that he wasn't messing around here.
He at least owed her that, in spite of her being mean to him.
She had told him about her family.
About what she had lost.
She had lowered her walls, if only a bit.
He might as well do the same.
Or something like that.

And so, after clearing his throat, he took the leap of faith.
"Yeah, about that… I ah… it's kind of hard to explain, but I uhm… I lost someone, too. Someone very dear to me. Her name was Harley and I… Well, let's just say that you're not the only one who needs some… time, I guess", he stuttered a bit clumsily and his hand already reached for the necklace again as he did everything within his power to avoid Pip's gaze.
Man, this was embarrassing, to say the least.

"Do I remind you of her?", Pip asked after a short silence and he looked up a bit surprised, only to see her looking back at him with a thoughtful frown on her face.
She was clearly trying very hard to understand what was going on inside his head and with his fingers playing with the locket, Vinnie lowered his gaze as he thought about this question.
It didn't take long before he found the answer and he raised his eyes again, working up the courage he needed to answer the question in all honesty, for that's all he ever wanted.
To be honest with her.
She didn't deserve any less, not after everything she had been through.

"No. You don't. But that's the whole point. You do something to me, something I don't understand. Not even Harley was able to throw me off my game the way you do and I always believed with every cell in my body that she was the one for me. So I guess it's safe to say that you're mixing me up, big time."
Man.
Did he really just say that all, out loud?
Damn.
The effect she had on him truly was quite bizarre.

Looking into her eyes suddenly became too much again and he broke eye contact, the tip of his tail dancing like a feather in the wind as his heart pounded against the inside of his chest.
Never, ever, had he spoken this openly and honestly to someone and as a result, he felt vulnerable like never before.
Small, even.
Like a bug, ready to be crushed.

His sensitive ears picked up the sound of her inhaling, telling him that she was about to respond to this… well, whatever this was, and he braced himself as inconspicuous as possible.
"Do you always want to kill the people who confuse you?", she, indeed, broke the silence again and the corner of his mouth twitched.
Her confusion somehow amused him, for he was more than aware of how weird this all was.
How weird he was.
A tough act to follow…
He should make that his middle name.
Very fitting, yes.

"You're the one who told me I have a very unhealthy way of dealing with my inferiority complex, so why don't you answer that question?", he beat her to her own game, his voice slightly trembling due to all the emotions that were whirling through his body at this very moment.
Deep down, he knew that he was just avoiding the question, perhaps he was even trying to change the subject, all because this, all this, was way above his pay grade.

Pip knew this, too.
That he was distracting her.
After all, she was familiar with the game.
Not just that, she was a star player.
And so, when he glanced at her from under his lashes, all she did in return was give him a meaningful look.
One that told him now wasn't the time to play games.
The worst part was that she was right.
Ugh.
Fine.

"No. In all fairness, I've never really wanted to kill you. All I wanted was to keep you away from me, preferably as far as possible, because I wasn't ready to face reality. That's what I usually do, ya know. I run. When things get… complicated, I run", he confessed to her, fighting that same urge he was telling her about at this very moment, but it was hard.
His feet were itching to get the hell out of here and yet, he remained where he was.

"Although it was really tempting to kick your ass after you caught me with a net, not one but two times", he added on a bit lighter note, he just couldn't stop himself.
Well, truth be told, it was still bugging him.
Of course it was.
His poor ego.

But again, Pip didn't go along with his attempt to change the subject, which was both confusing and understandable, all at the same time.
She really wasn't her usual sassy self, tonight.
Well, duh.
You kissed her, you fool.
Good point.

"If you're a runner, then you know, right?", she asked him, almost compellingly.
Now it was his turn to be confused and he tilted his head with furrowed brow.
"Know what?"
"That some wounds are too deep to heal. Some wounds are meant to be there, forever. Poignant and significant. Reminding you of what you've lost. Reminding you of what you've become… of how much you hate that person you are nowadays…"

Vinnie blinked a few times by hearing her tone of voice, one that made his breathing heavy.
It was one he never expected to hear.
Not with her, at least, for it belonged to someone who had given up.
She didn't strike him as one who gave up easily.

After taking a deep but shaky breath, he let the air slowly leave his mouth again while his fingers held on to the necklace as if his life depended on it.
Maybe it did.
When his lungs were empty, he took another deep breath and raised his eyes, although he now wished he hadn't, for the look on her face literally took his breath away.

She had lowered her walls.
She was showing him who she truly was.
Perhaps he should feel flattered that she did.
But frankly, all he felt was his blood running cold.

"I'm no relationship material, Vinnie. I'm broken. And one who is broken can neither fix broken hearts nor heal wounds. I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is…", she whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek, her entire appearance one in defeat.
She really did give up.

He couldn't really blame her, he guessed.
Not after what these animals did to her.
Not after the countless losses she had experienced.
And whilst he did understand where she was coming from, he should at least admit to himself that her rejection, especially after he too had lowered his walls, was quite painful.
It hurt like hell, actually.

But, unfortunately for her, giving up wasn't really in the nature of a Martian Mouse.
And most certainly not when that particular Martian Mouse carried the last name Van Wham.
He couldn't lose her.
He simply couldn't.
He was just so sick and tired of being alone.
No more.
Besides, he couldn't just ignore the effect she had on him.
She was important.
She had to be.

"There are no wounds that cannot heal, sweetheart. They leave scars, yes, but they do heal", the white-furred youngster told her as he took a step closer to her, not willing to let her run away, knowing all too well that was exactly what she wanted right now.
After all, he could totally relate.

A short breath escaped her lips while she shook her head, her black hair dancing with every movement.
"You're either foolish or ignorant to believe that. Maybe even both", she chuckled humorless as she ran a hand through her hair, she even rolled her eyes, but she didn't back down, so he supposed that was a good sign.

"Maybe. But I know it's true. You can't let all the bad shit that happens to you control the rest of your life, babe. If you do, you let the bad guys win. You can't let them win, Pip. Never."
Such wisdom.
Where did he pick that up?
Beats me.

While he was talking, he kept approaching her, slowly, though.
Cautiously.
But she still remained where she was and before he knew it, he was standing right in front of her, his breathing still quite irregular.
The thought alone of her running away from him not only made him short of breath, but it also made him even more determined to get through to her.
"Write your own story. You're the only one who can. All you have to do is take back control…", he said softly, his eyes wandering over her pretty face.
His hands were itching to touch her, but this time, he managed to control himself.
Atta boy.

Pip swallowed with difficulty as she kept blinking her eyes, and for a moment there he thought she was going to give in, but then she shook her head again, this time even more determined.
"No. The fact that you think that's even possible only tells me that you don't understand. No one can write their own story. There are too many people that play their part, people who fight to stand in the spotlight, people who are too strong… Demons", she breathed as she did a step backward, regret with a hint of panic written upon her face and he knew, he just knew, he wasn't going to win this.
Her next words only confirmed that.
"I can't do this, Vince. I truly am sorry…"

After giving him one last regretful look, she turned her upper body as the first step of turning around.
And there it was.
She was about to run away from him.
He was standing on the verge of losing her.
No.
He couldn't just let her go.
Not now he was lowering his walls as well after living in their shadows for so many years.
Perhaps even more vital — she couldn't be more wrong.

"Pip, wait", he breathed and he grabbed her arm without thinking.
"I do understand, okay? Shit, of all people, I understand. All my father ever did was beat the living shit out of me while my mom sold me to people who did things to me I can't even say out loud… They never once told me that they loved me, because they didn't. They hated me. They used me. They treated me like a thing, as if I wasn't even a living person... So yeah, I know. I know how it is when someone violates your safety. Heck, I don't even know how it is to feel safe and loved. So don't tell me that I don't understand how it is to be broken…"

His lack of air made him trail off, the all too familiar panic already pressing on his chest, making it difficult to breathe and he quickly wrapped his tail around his calf to comfort himself, as far as that was even possible.
He never spoke about this.
Not to anyone.

Not to Throttle.
Not to Modo.
Not to Stoker, even though he was the one who helped him to get back on track, or well, sort of.
Not even to Harley, who was actually the first person in his life who told him, out loud, that she loved him.
No, he had vowed to himself to never speak about it again.
And yet, here he was.

Pip stared at him with her eyes wide open, her lower lip slightly trembling as shock, along with sympathy, flickered across her face.
For a moment, all he felt was guilt for bothering her with his story, for it obviously upset her, but what else could he do?
She needed to know.
And so, when she said nothing, he simply continued, although it was everything but simple.

"They broke me. They truly did. I can't even remember how it feels to be whole. But I simply refuse to let them win. I cannot let them win. So yeah, I write my own story. It's all that keeps me going. And I know this sounds utterly insane, but all I know right now is that I want you to be in my story. I'll give you time. I'll give you anything you need, heck, I will even lay off the sex for all I care, live the rest of my life as a goddamn saint, as long as you accept my inventation to play a part in my book… any part…"

And now he sounded desperate.
Great.
Just great.
How on Mars was it possible for this to escalate so quickly?

Breathing heavily, he fell silent again and thanks to his sensitive hearing, he could hear her heart race in her chest.
If only he knew if that was a good sign or not.
His eyes wandered over her face, almost desperately searching for a sign that would tell him what she was going to do, and he saw her beautiful eyes tearing up.
"You really think it's possible? To make your own story? To rewrite the stars?", she whispered, her voice even raspier than it usually was and the small glimpse of hope simmering in her watery eyes made his heart skip a beat.

"I have to", he nodded as he still tried to control his rapid breathing, forcing himself to stop the images of his childhood from flooding his brain, which was in vain, of course.
By talking about it, the door which he so frantically kept closed was now open again and it almost washed him away.
He could only hope it would be worth it.

Pip nodded too, although a bit dazed, as her eyes darted over to his hand that was still holding her.
His two-colored eyes followed her every movement, almost eager, hoping that opening up like he just did would do the trick.
It had to.
But when her eyes locked with his again, he knew it didn't.

"I admire you for having such a strong faith. If only I could say the same. But I can't. I like you. I really do. But we can't be together. I can't fix you. You can't fix me. It's an illusion. We're bound to break and I… I just don't have any pieces left…"
Slowly, her wrist slid out of his grip and his arm fell limp next to his body as Vinnie watched her walk away with Cupcake by her side, her shoulders slumped and her head low.

"There are no wounds that cannot heal, sweetheart. They leave scars, yes, but they do heal."

"You're either foolish or ignorant to believe that. Maybe even both."

With her voice echoing through his head, he again took the medallion between his fingers as he just stood there.
Silently, frozen like a statue.
Watching how Pip's silhouette became smaller and smaller as a certain pain, one that was somehow familiar yet so estranged entered his body.
All alone again…
"You're right. I was foolish to have hope", he whispered, but then a pang of pure rage, triggered by sheer despair, made his body quiver and in one smooth movement, he yanked the necklace off his neck and threw it away with all his strength.
Done.
He was done.

-No one can rewrite the stars
How can you say you'll be mine?
Everything keeps us apart
And I'm not the one you were meant to find-

Ah, poor Vinnie.
And poor Pip.
They both share something I never wish upon anyone.

I figured the time had come for Vinnie to grow up a bit, to show his true colors.
To prove that he's way more than just a hothead with an ego.
Sadly, it didn't pay off as he hoped it would do.
Now the question is - how will he deal with that?

Anyhoo, I hope you liked this chapter.
Feel free to leave a review, it's way too quiet on this site right now.
A sign of life would be nice, hehe.

Stay safe out there, my friends, and till next time.
Later!