Snuggles the Symbiote

Beeping. I could hear beeping. Why was I hearing beeping?

"Because we are in the room designated infirmary in the structure designated Rig once again."

"Huh?" I keep forgetting that Mister Snuggles can read my thoughts sometimes.

"This one believes that the proper terminology for what occurred is that Ashley 'had the shit beaten out of her and overdosed on her own adrenaline again.' "

"Mister Snuggles, don't swear," I slurred and opened my eyes while everything that happened with Bloodbath came back to me. I could only see out of one eye. I put a hand up to my left eye and felt a bandage and some kind of padding. "Also, I didn't catch your answer earlier, is my eye gone?"

"This one chooses not to answer on the grounds that it will not be relevant once Ashley finishes recuperating."

"Mister Snuggles if my eye is gone I want to..." Where was that clicking sound coming from? A schlict or a...

Snikt!

I sat up and turned to face the source of the sound. At first, I'd thought I'd been alone in here, but the was another girl, in yellow body-armor, sitting on a bed on the far wall. She looked Klara's age with long black hair and scars on her face. Two under her eyes, one under her cheek, and one on her forehead. Every so often a foot-long spike of sharp bone would rip out of her hand, and then she'd pull it back in.

She saw I was looking at her and nodded. "Sup?" Snikt.

I blinked... Or I guess winked? "Honey Badger?"

"I'm going by Scout now," she casually explained.

I thought about it for a second. "Honey Badger is a better name."

"Your opinion is noted," she said with a smile, "but I just decided that the cutesy name wasn't working for me anymore."

"Your sister's my favorite X-man," I said, trying to make small talk. "And of all the... Four people who've gone by Wolverine, she's the best."

"I'm sure she'll be happy to hear that," Scout said while continuing to pop and unpop her claw. Then she smiled mischievously. "Who's your second favorite?"

"Genesis," I said quickly.

"Oh..." Scout sounded disappointed. Did she...?

"Sorry."

"It's fine. I don't really interact with Evan much but he seems cool." She shrugged. "Can I ask why though?"

"Mostly the same reason I like your sister," I explained. "She was born to be a killer but chooses to be a hero, Genesis is a clone of one of the most unrepentantly evil men in history but chooses to be good."

"...You know, that applies to me, too..." Scout said while looking up and away

"So, uh, why are you here?" I asked.

"Here in this room or here in general?" She asked.

"...Both?" I said with a shrug.

"Val Richards found a disturbance in space-time and basement full of dead clones, sent out a flyer for help, we found video of you and some of the clones getting sucked into another universe, and we decided to try and do the responsible thing." She gestured to me. "Val sent in a drone, saw you fighting Carnage, got us all together and it seems we got here just in time."

I thought back to the man who'd thrown the brick. "...Yeah... Uh, how did Spider-Man know my name?"

"The people who were doing the cloning and harvesting you for MGH? They had a copy of your medical records," Scout explained. "We ended up reading them when we were investigating. You've got an interesting birthmark."

"Uh, thanks," I said. Was she trying to sound creepy?

"As far why I'm here in this room," she gestured around, "apparently the Government Agency that regulates superheroes here has a contract that says they have to ask you specifically first on any issues, and well... You ever hear the term 'malicious compliance?' I get the feeling that the fat lady you're working for isn't happy about the contract. She's got us all, and who I'm assuming is your foster sister, in a room with your Captain America rip off." she rolled our eyes. "Won't even let us introduce ourselves. Threatened to arrest Val when she tried to explain who we were and why we're here."

"I mean, isn't she four years old?" She was three when the Richards family vanished and it's been a little over a year.

"She's about my biological age now," Scout said. "Apparently they were gone for five years from their perspective. Laura was complaining about the kids she used to babysit being an angsty teen and an arrogant know-it-all all of a sudden when she taught I wasn't listening."

I started counting on my fingers. "That doesn't add up. You're thirteen, she should be nine."

"Wade says not to think about it too hard."

"No," I started. "That's not fair. I should be older than her and..." I was interrupted by a yawn. Stupid adrenaline OD. Last time it took me three days before I recovered from the crash.

"If it makes you feel any better, you're technically older than me," Scout said with an awkward smile. "If you don't count the artificial aging then... Uh, Alchemex has been around a couple years, tops..." She sounded confused now. "Unless it was still Oscorp when they started, uh... I don't know my birthday" That was one of the saddest things I'd ever heard. "I'm somewhere between five and zero."

"Oh... Kay," I said. "Uh, what happened with Bloodbath? The Carnage clone."

"Mania set him on fire and he ran for it," Scout said. Mania, did I know who Mania was? "Hellfire burns up evil symbiotes real good, apparently. Anti-Venom went after him but he got away. The rest of us stayed back until we could make sure the injured party, that is, you, got help... Then Miss flag code violation showed up and brought us here."

"...You know, I asked why you were here in this room but I don't think you explained it."

"Sorry. After a couple of hours, I got bored and gave the lady babysitting us the ultimatum that she either let me leave to use the bathroom or I'd pee all over the floor, then snuck off once she let me leave." She held up something white she'd had next to her that I hadn't seen earlier. "There's a small laundry room three floors down from here," She unfurled the white thing and... That was the undershirt I'd put on this morning. I could tell it was the same one becuase it had a hole where I'd gotten stabbed in the belly and a bloodstain around it. "This is yours, right? It smells like you."

"Yeah." I lifted up the cheap hospital blanket I was under and noticed that I was in a hospital gown with casts on my legs. I think I had more bandages around my belly, too. "Mister Snuggles, why aren't my wounds fixed?"

"This one is still working to purge the remnants of the hostile symbiote. If this one lets up for even a moment, the remnants could cause further damage."

"Well, that sucks... How long do you think that's gonna take?"

"If this one knew it would tell you."

"How come I'm not in horrible agony?"

"This one has disabled your ability to experience pain in the short term."

"You can do that? Why don't you tell me these things!?"

"It's like being in an elevator with someone on a cellphone," Scout deadpanned. "Anyway," she said while tossing my undershirt over, "since they're not gonna let us say or do anything until they can consult you, and they can't consult you until you get out... Want me to smuggle you out of here?"

I pointed to my broken legs. "Do you have a wheel—" I yawned again. I probably needed to go back to sleep. "A wheelchair?"

"Oh, I can fix that," Scout said with a smile. "I just need to borrow your IV tube."

"IV tube?"

And then I looked closer at my arm and saw the tube leading down from a stand next to my bed down to a needle buried in my flesh. My blood froze, my heart skipped a beat... I tried to reach over and rip the damned thing out but I couldn't move and...

"Ashley, this one strongly suggests not removing the thing supplying you with the fluids needed to keep your blood pressure high enough to function. This one would prefer to host in Ashley, not Ashley's anemic corpse."

"If you do the thing," I said slowly. "Does it mean the," my voice cracked, "the needle comes out?"

"Yeah," she replied. "Are... Are you afraid of needles."

I looked away. I could feel my face heating up. What kind of hero was afraid of needles? I lied. "No." Just because my team knew, that didn't mean anyone else had to."

"Well, okay then," Scout said evenly. "Now I need to be standing higher up than you so the gravity part will work so scooch down so I can stand over you."

I slid down as far as I could go on the bed, but it wasn't very far, and Scout came over and climbed up in the bed so that she was facing the wall with her feet by my shoulders. And then I heard a snikt and the sound of something carving into flesh.

"What are you doing?" I asked, concerned.

"Putting my blood in you," she said matter-of-factly.

It took me a second to process that. "Why?"

"Becuase putting Wolverine blood in people gives them a Wolverine healing factor and a boosted immune system for a few minutes," she said in the same tone.

"Yeah, I know that, but I've already got a healing factor," I explained. "I'm gonna get better eventually so..."

"This will make it happen faster," she explained like it was obvious. "I once got turned into a Brood Queen and my healing factor completely recreated my body exactly and made me rip out of Brood-Me like Aliens in reverse." There was a moment of silence. "Semi-Related, if you're planning to form a rock band, I've got dibs on the names 'Brood Chest Burster" 'Instant Reincarnation' and "'Naked in Space.' " Well, okay then.

"Are we even compatible blood types?" I asked. "I'm B positive, I can only take B and O type blood."

"It doesn't matter," she said cheerfully. "The healing factor cancels out the wrong blood type problems. Besides, there's a fifty-fifty chance that my blood's safe for you regardless." She was way too casual about this. "Now, if I screw up jamming this thing into my artery I could make an air bubble and give you a heart attack or stroke, so I need to focus." I could see blood dripping down the wall, she was making a mess and people were gonna think a murder happened in here.

"I'm having second thoughts about this," I snarked.

"Too late!" I nervously looked at the tube as red fluid started flowing down it.

"Mister Snuggles, can you stop an air bubble in my blood from killing me?"

"You're gonna be fine," Scout reassured. "By the way, my blood has self-replicating nanobots that remove the ability to feel pain, but the side effects killed most of my sisters." Why was she so casual about that? "My healing factor means I'm probably okay, and yours is probably enough to keep you good, but it's something you keep in mind and consider whether you want to get rid of them."

"You couldn't have said something about that before?" I asked, annoyed. "Mister Snuggles?"

"This one will purge the nanomachines as soon as your body is fully repaired."

"Thanks."

"By the way, would you like a necklace made of ears?" Who asks these things? "I got bored, made a necklace out of my ears, and Laura wants me to get rid of it."

"Why would you do that?" I said while facepalming.

"If we're gonna spend any amount of time together," Scout began, "which I hope we will becuase you seem nice, then the first thing you're gonna learn about me is that I have weird thoughts and a warped sense of humor. Also, I have a pet wolverine. His name is Jonathan and he's awesome. Would you like to meet him sometime?"

I thought about it. "Yes, I would like to meet him."

"It's a date." More time was passing. I was feeling less tired now. "So I know your real name, mine's Gabby by the way, but what's your mutant name?"

"I don't have a mutant name," I said. "I think they're stupid and personally I'd rather be known for being me than for being a mutant." I sighed. "I'm a mutant, I... Identify as a mutant, more or less, but that's not all I am. My mutant power is that I'm a sick cripple who's probably gonna die before I turn eighteen. You want me to fight crime while calling myself 'Gimpy?' "

"You clearly feel strongly about this, and I respect that," Scout, or, Gabby began. "I just wanted to know what name you use when you're in costume."

"Oh. Cuddlebug."

"Aww," Gabby squeaked, "that's adorable."

"Thank yo—" I started coughing. Badly. Enough that I had to sit up. The coughing almost hurt. Why did it almost hurt? Mister Snuggles said he turned off my pain receptors.

A little while later, it felt like I was gonna throw up, and with one last hacking cough, something red and slimy jumped from my throat and flew to the wall opposite me. It slithered for few seconds then froze and fell to the ground, twitching.

And then a nurse or orderly or someone who worked in the infirmary here walked in and looked directly at Gabby and I.

"This is exactly what it looks like," I said while pointing up to Gabby. "I can feel my broken bones melding back together so if you could discharge me, that'd be great." Now that the pieces of Bloodbath were gone, nothing was stopping my healing and honestly, I couldn't remember feeling better.

"The blood on the wall is mine," Gabby added. "Sorry." I couldn't see her but she started grunting. "Okay, I regenerated around the IV tube. I think it's part of my body now, this is gonna take a second."

There was another snikt and then more sounds of flesh being cut up. I'm pretty sure she got some of her blood in my hair this time.

Mister Snuggles whispered something in my ear. "Also, I'm gonna need a drool cup. And that," I pointed down to the piece of Bloodbath I'd hacked up, "is gonna need to be incinerated."

The nurse or orderly gave out a long, exasperated sigh. "This fucking city." And then she left.

Gabby climbed down, plucked the IV out of my arm, which lifted a stone out of my belly (I looked away so she couldn't see how relieved I was.) And then she used her claws to slash off my casts.

I sat up, rubbed my legs, and flexed my knees, ankles, and toes. Yep, everything seemed to be working. The only thing left to do was check my eye.

Peeling the bandage off... Yeah, I could see. "So, was my eye gone Mister Snuggles."

"Why does it matter?"

Well, I wasn't getting an answer from him. I climbed out of bed, ditched the hospital gown, and pulled on my undershirt. It didn't have that much blood, I could clean it myself later.

Gabby was behind me. "So, about that birthmark...?"

"What about it?"

"Uh... Look, I only found out about it when we were investigating since uh, there was a picture of it in your medical record and uh..." While she was talking, I had Mister Snuggles form my costume over my clothes and turned around. She was looking around awkwardly. "The others didn't want to tell you if it came up, but I think you deserve to know if you don't already... Uh."

"...What?" People only said things like that when it was bad.

"So you said Genesis was your second favorite X-Man?" She changed the subject. "You might want to bump him up."

"Why?"

"Yeah, uh... You're related to him."

I scoffed. "Yeah right." Genesis was a clone. The only way I could be related to him is if I was related to... I went wide-eyed. "Oh."

"Yeah. That's the Clan Akkaba symbol," Gabby explained awkwardly. "It's the mark of people that are descended from Apocalypse."

"I'm an epsilon class mutant with an inherent disability as part of my power," I said slowly. "You might as well be telling a Jewish person that they're related to the Red Skull."

"I mean, it's not quite that bad," Gabby started.

I sat back down on the hospital bed. And then, I started laughing. Laughing hard.

"What's so funny?" Gabby asked nervously.

"I got the X-Gene from my Daddy," I said between laughs. "He got it from my Grandpa, who thinks he got it from his grandpa, who was the Bastard son of an Englishman who had the exact same mark behind his ear and used to get drunk and rant about Egyptians." I laughed a little more. "You get it? The joke? The irony?" I laughed so hard it hurt. "The reason I'm weak and sick and tired all the time? The reason I'm probably gonna die of an infection before I grow up? It's because I'm descended from a guy whose power is a perfect, immortal God-Body." I was laughing so hard I was almost crying. "Who is a living embodiment of the exact opposite of everything I've ever stood for or believed in."

My whole life is a cruel joke.

At somepoint, I'd stopped laughing. I was still making sounds though... I wasn't crying though. Heroes don't cry.

Gabby hugged me though. She was a good hugger. "It's not the end of the world. There are lots of heroes that are related to evil people. And hey, you might secondary mutate and get something cool out of it."

"Maybe."

Snuggles the Symbiote

"Hey, look who I found on my way back from the bathroom," Gabby introduced as we walked into the room where everyone was being kept.

Best Wolverine and Energizer and Deadpool and... color Inverted Agent Venom, with goth anime-hair girl-Venom next to him. Ghosty no pants McMarshmellow. I'm guessing that V Chest was Val Richards. Ms. Marvel was next to her.

And there was Spider-Man. Okay Ashley, play it cool. Don't ask to take a selfie with him until after we're done here. Don't squee or ask to hug him or for his autograph. There's a time and a place for that.

Miss Militia was here too, looking both bored and unhappy to see me, and there was Taylor. She'd changed into her costume but wasn't wearing her mask. I walked over to her and gave her a hug.

"You okay, Ashley?" She asked while hugging me back.

"Yeah," I said evenly. "I'm fine. All fixed up but... Excuse me." I unhugged her and spat up some green slime into the drool cup. The nurse or orderly or... I'd need to ask who she was and what she did later. She came back after a little bit and said everything was taken care of, then gave me the cup I asked for. She was nice.

"So, I understand that the bosses have given up on trying to weasel out of my iron-clad contract and are now being stupid about enforcing it? I've gotta be here to answer questions before we can do anything?"

"Yes, that's the gist of it," who I thought was Val Richards said while frustrated. "Please tell the nice woman to let us introduce ourselves and explain why we're here."

"And Weaver's here, becuase...?"

"Our contracts don't give us the guaranteed right to visit people in the infirmary and they were insisting that you needed your rest," Taylor said. "Since they took Dad back to the safehouse and you were in no position to debrief on the attack, I figured... But then... Well..."

I sat down next to Taylor, which put me right across from Spider-Man... I didn't think that through.

He gave a friendly wave and without thinking, I said: "Can I get a selfie with you?" Damn it!

He laughed. Not in a mean way. In a nice way. "Sure."

"Ashley, please stop thinking about the sound of young excitable humans squealing in joy."