This is inspired by aphass' request to write about Chris telling Hudson about his relationship with Aidan and being afraid of getting into another one. In my head I'm placing this in early August 2013 after Hudson finds out that Chris asked Brad to coach him.

Talking about the past

"It just feels like forever since anyone's gone in to bat for me"

"What's wrong?" Hudson asked as he shut the door. Chris froze momentarily at the bottom of the stairs

"Nothing" he murmured as he hurried to the kitchen

"It wasn't nothing, you've barely said two words to me since we left the gym" Hudson pointed out. He followed Chris into the kitchen and quickly shut the fridge as Chris was rummaging around in it for something to eat, "spill it, Pappas"

Chris paused before asking, "Are you ok about me asking Brad to be your coach?"

Hudson looked at him, bewildered.

"Are you serious?" he asked, incredulously, "you saved my career, of course I'm ok with it. Actually, I'm more than ok with it". He paused, then his eyes widened with realisation, "wait, did I not say 'thank you?'" he asked, then groaned, "I'm sorry, that must have made me seem really ungrateful, and I swear I am grateful for what you did".

Chris looked unconvinced, so Hudson raised his eyebrows suggestively, "I might just show you later on how grateful I am" he teased, rubbing Chris' arm. Again, this didn't seem to reassure his boyfriend, which caused Hudson to sigh.

"Ok, seriously, what's going on?"

Chris held his gaze momentarily before looking away

"When you said that it had been a long time since anyone had been in to bat for you, why is that?"

Hudson shrugged, "I guess I'm quite independent"

At this response Chris let out a deep breath and stormed past Hudson, who turned to stare at him.

"Did I say something wrong?"

Chris ran his hands through his hair and sat down on the couch. Hudson followed him into the living room and sat opposite him on the coffee table.

"Chris, just tell me what's going on" Hudson persisted, "why is it such a big deal?"

"Because I don't know if I can get involved with someone like that again" Chris revealed. Hudson raised one eyebrow, quizzically.

"Independent?" he prompted. Chris nodded

"My ex, Aidan, was so independent that I sometimes wondered whether he actually wanted to be with me or not. He might as well have been in a relationship with himself, he seemed happier alone than he was with me"

There was a silence after Chris' revelation, then the freckled faced boy rested his head in his hands and exhaled deeply. Hudson reckoned that he needed some breathing time as stared ahead of himself. Eventually he decided to break the silence.

"Well, if it's any consolation, that guy sounds like a complete tool"

Chris looked up from his hands and scoffed, "no, he was a great guy, not that I'm singing his praises to you or anything. He was clever, friendly, funny, loyal-"

Hudson interrupted him, "I thought you said you weren't singing his praises"

"Sorry" Chris responded sheepishly

Hudson shook his head, "It's ok, I'm just worried that you'll start talking about his skills in bed or something"

Chris smirked, "oh, he's nothing compared to you!"

"I can't say that I'm surprised" Hudson replied grinning, causing Chris to laugh

"So modest!" Chris guffawed, slapping him lightly on the shoulder.

"Is that what's bothering you?" Hudson asked, "The idea that I might be too independent?"

Chris looked thoughtful, "I guess, or I'm just stuck in the past. The thing is, if you were overly independent like Aidan, we probably would have got into a huge fight where you'd accuse me of interfering in your career"

"Chris, there's 'interfering' and then there's 'helping'. Surely Aidan just didn't know the difference between the two"

"That's the thing. With Aidan, I felt like it was me who didn't know the difference, which just made me feel lousy. And yeah, looking back there were times that I probably shouldn't have got involved"

"But that's what happens in relationships, you get involved in each other's lives" Hudson explained, "I know that you wouldn't purposely do anything to hurt anyone, especially those that you love" Chris glanced at him, surprised, so Hudson backtracked, "I mean, like" he corrected.

"What you did for me, that wasn't interfering; that was doing what you thought was right- and it was" Hudson finished.

xxx

"Chips, seriously?" Chris asked as Hudson passed him a bowl of potato chips and a bottle of orange juice, "Hudson, we've just had a major workout. It's gonna take more than some chips and juice to restore my energy, we should go out for dinner or something"

"Yeah, well this will keep us going for the time being" Hudson argued, settling opposite Chris on the sofa, "There are more important things to sort out before dinner-"

Chris held up his hand, "I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to stop you there. There is nothing more important than dinner" he paused, "except breakfast"

Hudson laughed, "Wow, why am I not surprised?"

Chris grinned, "Now, what is this oh-so important thing we need to sort out instead of having a decent meal?"

"Well, we've been together a couple of weeks now, but when you told me about Aidan I realised that we don't really know much about each other, so let's find out about each other's deepest, darkest secrets" Hudson replied dramatically, reaching for some chips.

"Ok, well I've spilled about my ex, now it's your turn"

Hudson thought to himself for a few moments, "I had my first boyfriend when I was in year 12; his name was Liam and he had been out for a couple of years already" he took a swig of juice, "He took me under his wing and things developed from there. We were together for several months but he went to Uni after he left school, and we agreed that long-distance doesn't really work, so it kind of ended mutually" he paused, "it was similar to a summer romance I had after I left school. I went to Jamaica for a few months and met a guy called Darius. It was just a fling; I guess he was the rebound guy, so I wasn't too devastated when I had to leave and say goodbye to him"

"I never picked you for a 'fling' kind of guy" Chris said, raising his eyebrows. Hudson nodded smugly.

"Well that was the whole point of this chat, to find out this kind of stuff about each other"

Chris pondered this, "Actually, I've been kind of curious to know whether you've ever dated any other swimmers"

Hudson shook his head, "Nope. Don't get me wrong, I have been tempted. You know, hot guys in shorts and all, but I guess it would be pretty messy if you had to compete against someone that you're in a relationship with"

Chris nodded in agreement, raising his bottle of juice to his lips. Hudson continued, "Plus, when you spend so much time competing with someone, you see every side of them: the good, the bad and the ugly. So, over time I've sort of become immune to fancying other swimmers"

"So you haven't been with anyone since that fling a couple of years ago?" Chris confirmed

Hudson shook his head, "Well I dated a bit, but nothing ever really stuck; though that was mainly my fault. For one thing, I was so busy training that I didn't really have much time to fit in a relationship. And like I said, I was surrounded by swimmers all the time, which can sometimes get too much for a partner"

Chris nodded in understanding, "You know, after what happened with Josh and Amber, I was surprised that Don was ok with us going out"

"Well, he used to be like a dad to me, and he apparently cared about my happiness, so even though he was concerned that my swimming might suffer, if I wanted to date he was fine with it"

Chris grimaced, "See, it was the opposite with my dad. That was the reason Aidan and I broke up in the first place"

Hudson looked confused, "I thought you broke up because he was too independent"

"That was the second time" Chris explained, "the first time was because I was keeping our relationship a secret from my parents. I kept lying to him, telling him that they knew, I guess in the end he couldn't take the lies, and I don't blame him". He paused, grabbing some chips, "I guess that's why the second time around, I was so annoyed by all the lies that he told me, it seemed hypocritical that he was so angry about me lying yet did the same to me over and over again"

"I guess when someone lies repeatedly it becomes difficult to trust anything that they say after that" Hudson added

"Exactly" Chris agreed

"Speaking of your parents, do they know about us?"

Chris squirmed slightly and reached into the bowl for another handful of chips. Hudson watched him then sat back slightly, crossing his arms, "I take that as a 'no' then"

"Not exactly" Chris murmured, "they've been on holiday for the last few weeks, and before they left they knew we were dating, but I haven't spoken to them since you returned from Sydney. I promise that I'll tell them as soon as either they return or they learn to use a mobile phone" he paused, "plus, I wanted to make sure that this was actually worth telling my parents about. I mean, if we broke up immediately then what would be the point? They'd just make a big fuss about it"

"I guess" Hudson admitted, reluctantly

"What about you? Have you told your folks?"

Hudson nodded "Yep, I told them about you when I visited them, then the night we got together I told them that we were a couple. That call cost me a lot of money, so you owe me"

Chris grinned, leaning close to him, "well I can think of one way to repay you, something you mentioned earlier"

Hudson caught on and smiled, closing the distance between them to kiss him slowly. He suddenly pulled away

"I thought you wanted to have dinner"

"There are more important things than dinner" Chris responded, climbing off the couch

"Yeah, breakfast" Hudson replied, rolling his eyes

Chris chuckled and grabbed his hand, pulling him into the bedroom.