A/N: There were some lines spoken between Maddie and David during Season 5 that seemed to come out of nowhere. For example, in the episode "Take My Wife, For Example", Maddie asks David if he's been seeing anyone lately. Then he turns around and asks if she'd like him to set her up with somebody. Up until this point, I was always under the impression that they were still together as a couple, maybe not all the time, but at least, sometimes. This conversation between them made me think that something happened to their relationship in the time between "Shirts & Skins" and "Take My Wife, For Example". That's when this story begins.

This story is best understood if you have read two of my previous stories, "Since I Lost My Maddie" and "Counting on Christmas". Both were written to try to make sense of Maddie and David's "relationship inconsistencies" in Season 5. Are they together or aren't they? It often was hard to tell. These stories are meant to tie in to the Original Series, starting with when Maddie loses her baby in "A Womb With A View".

Saturday, January 28, 1989

'What can I get for you, Mam?' The young man behind the counter had to speak loudly so he could be heard over the crowd of people bustling about at the mall on a busy Saturday.

The woman at the front of the line at the Patisserie Café was taking a very long time placing her order. The people standing behind her were beginning to feel impatient. Maddie Hayes was one of those people, and the last thing she wanted on this day was to feel impatient. After all, this weekend was meant to be a relaxing, self-indulgent two days.

'Can I get a small cup of coffee with milk and a half sandwich? Uh… turkey and Swiss… on wheat bread, please. Oh, and I just need a cup of hot water so I can warm up my baby's bottle.'

Maddie had no choice, but to use the time to thoroughly read through the menu. She thought maybe she'd order something other than her usual Greek salad. The Turkey Cobb sandwich looked good… or maybe the Almond Croissant.

While she was looking over the menu, she heard someone say her name.

'Maddie? Is that you?'

She put the menu down and saw that it was Terri Knowles who was the woman standing at the front of the line.

'Terri? Yes, hi! I'm so sorry… I didn't realize that was you standing in front of me. It's so nice to see you. How are you?'

Maddie looked down to see little Wally, now almost 6 months old, sitting up in his stroller. She hadn't seen him since he was just a few days old. For a split second, she allowed herself to feel envious… that this woman was able to have a healthy baby boy while hers was so painfully taken away from her.

'Oh, we're good, we're good. And you?' Knowing that Maddie had lost the baby undoubtedly made Terri feel awkward.

'I'm good! Wow, Wally sure got big, didn't he? He's adorable!' Maddie felt awkward during this exchange, as well.

'Listen, I'm going to find a table so I can eat my lunch and feed Wally. You're welcome to sit with us if you'd like.'

'Sure, I'll do that. I'll be right over.'

Maddie immediately regretted accepting her offer. She knew Terri was not very fond of her… ever since her embarrassing outburst at the hospital. And she never really understood Terri's relationship with David, but she had a feeling this woman cared about him. Everything about this moment felt strange to her.

By the time Maddie got her food and went to sit down, Terri had already finished her sandwich and was almost done giving Wally his bottle. Maddie felt relieved this wouldn't last long.

'I'm surprised David's not with you. Is he okay? Working a case?'

'David's fine. I actually don't really know what he's up to.' Maddie shrugged her shoulders. 'I wanted to do some shopping, maybe go to the spa… and I had appointments to get my hair and nails done tomorrow, so we just decided to go our separate ways for the weekend.'

'Oh,' Terri said, like what she just heard was a bad thing.

Maddie took notice. 'What? What is it?'

'I just know that when David has the weekend to himself it either gets him down or it gets him in trouble.'

'And how do you know that?' Maddie seemed perturbed.

Terri looked intently at Maddie for a moment, as though she was deciding whether she should be forthcoming or not.

'Oh, there've been a few times recently when he's had a little too much to drink and called me. He misses you on those weekends, Maddie.'

Maddie sat back in her chair… like she was just punched in the gut. 'Interesting. The two of you must be closer than I thought.'

'Maddie, look… you and I will probably never be friends, but I care about David. He's too good a man to be sitting in a bar at seven o'clock on a Saturday night because the woman he loves wants to have an entire weekend alone to pamper herself. I just think…' Terri stops and hesitates a moment. She knows she's crossing a line here. 'Maddie, I know this sounds hurtful, but I feel like he's giving up the best years of his life just trying to get you to commit.'

Maddie couldn't hide the stunned look on her face. Her mind was reeling. She was hurt… angry… felt like she wanted to yell and cry all at the same time. Not able to sit with this woman any longer, and having completely lost her appetite, Maddie excused herself, threw her food in the trash and walked away.

Later that evening…

Maddie had spent the better part of the day stewing about what Terri said to her. Who was she to talk about her relationship with David like that? She felt like Terri accused her of stringing David along. She should just mind her own business.

She finally calmed down enough to make herself some dinner and settle on the couch to watch a movie. But really, she couldn't enjoy the movie… couldn't even focus on it long enough to know what it was about. Was Terri right? Was David really sitting out there in some seedy bar getting drunk at this very moment? Perhaps with his friend, Benny, that poor guy who passed out in her doorway the week before Christmas? Just the two of them… commiserating, and drinking too much. Must be why David shows up to work late sometimes… looking like he slept on a park bench.

She had to see for herself. So, she went upstairs and packed an overnight bag.

It was about nine o'clock when Maddie let herself into David's apartment. He, of course, was not there. It was chilly. Lights were left on. Leftover pizza was in a box on the kitchen counter. Dirty clothes were littered about on the floor. Seeing that he lived like this made her sad. She loved him so, but it was seeing this side of him that made her afraid… afraid to commit. But then, she thought, maybe these were just his bachelor ways. Maybe a commitment from her is all it would take. She just didn't know.

Maddie went into the bathroom, changed into her nightgown and got ready for bed. She turned on his TV and found an old black-and-white movie she thought might lull her to sleep. His bed was a mess, so she changed the sheets and straightened out the blankets before getting in and pulling up the covers. She waited and waited for him to come home and then eventually she turned off the television and fell asleep.

At around two o'clock in the morning, Maddie was awakened by the sound of someone bumping into the bedroom door. She didn't move, but she opened her eyes. In the light coming from the hallway, she could see David pulling off his shirt and pants. He seemed oblivious to her being there. She could see he was drunk by the way he kept his hand on the wall for balance. He turned off the light and climbed into bed.

When he felt her there in the dark, he knew right away it was her. He spoke to her, though his words were slurred. 'Maddie, honey, what are you doing here? I thought you were busy this weekend?'

'I was,' she replied, 'but, surprise! I'm here!'

David began to snuggle up to her, running his hands up and down her body. 'Oh, baby, you feel so good. C'mere, come close to me.' He started to climb on top of her, kissing her neck. But then he just stopped, and Maddie realized he'd passed out. His body was like dead weight, pressing her down into the mattress. She struggled a bit trying to roll him onto his back.

She sat up next to him, and watched him sleep for what felt like a long time.

'Oh, David… what are we doing?' she whispered. 'We love each other, but…' She put her head down and covered her eyes with her hands as tears threatened to fall.

Maddie continued to speak very quietly to herself…

'Maybe Terri's right. Maybe I am self-centered… everything having to be on my terms… all the time. Boy, you must really love me to put up with that. But what Terri said about you wasting your time with me… that hurt. It really hurt, but I think… maybe she's right. You would make a wonderful husband and father, David. I believe that with my whole heart. And I want you to have a family, but I know I can't give you that. Not now… not after what happened. I can't go through that again.'

Maddie sat for a while longer, admiring his handsome face and body in the moonlight. She thought about leaving, but what was the point? She'd made up her mind, and knew she needed to talk to him first thing in the morning. So, she tucked herself under the crook of his arm and laid her head on his chest. She listened to his heart beating… knowing that this might be the last time she'd be close enough to hear it.

Late Sunday morning…

Maddie began to stir when she felt David sprinkle light butterfly kisses along the back of her neck and shoulders. She could feel his hand under her nightgown… tickling her belly, and then moving up to caress her breasts. For a guy who didn't get much sleep, he was up alright, and in more ways than one. No other man had ever turned her on the way this man did, and at the moment he had every erogenous zone in her body at a heightened state of arousal. Giving in to her desires, Maddie turned towards him, and whispered, 'Let's make love.'

It was clear this morning was not going as she had planned.

A short time later, Maddie looked over at David where he was relaxing next to her in bed. The late morning sun was shining in the window, warming his side of the bed, but not hers. Perhaps that was why she suddenly felt chilled.

'David, I think we should be free to see other people.' The words flew out of her mouth before she even figured out the right way to say them.

He kept his eyes closed and did his morning stretch. 'Sure Maddie, great idea,' he said. 'Hey, if you have a girlfriend who'd like to join us here, I am all for it.'

She turned and gave him a look of disgust.

'A joke. I'm joking, Maddie.'

Maddie sat up, tucking the sheets under her arms. 'No, David, I mean it. I want us both to feel free to date other people.'

'I don't want to date other people. I'm perfectly happy with you.' He turned towards her, possessively wrapping his arm around her hips.

'But should you meet someone…'

'Tell me you're not serious about this!' he demanded, cutting her off.

With a hint of sadness in her voice, she replied, 'Yes… I am.'

'What!?' He was so shocked by her words that he fell off his side of the bed when he tried to sit up. 'You've got to be kidding me, Maddie! What'd you do? Meet some guy at the mall yesterday!?' He scrambled to get back on his feet. 'Why on Earth would I want to see someone else when I've got you?'

She reached over and picked his boxers up from the end of the bed, throwing them at him so he'd cover up.

'That's the thing, David. What makes you think you have me? I only give you a part of me… and you know that.'

'But I'm fine with that!'

'You are not! And besides, don't you think you deserve better than that? Don't you want to be married one day with a family?'

'But I want that with you,' he said, with a sincerity that nearly tore her heart to shreds.

'I know, David, and there was a time not too long ago when I wanted that, too.'

They stopped talking and just looked at each other. Both recalling the moment when the happy path they were on took a tragic turn.

'David… I'm not saying this is the end for us. All I am saying is that if there is another woman out there… and she can give you what I can't or won't…' Maddie didn't have to say another word. She could tell he understood by the way he solemnly nodded his head.

She got up out of the bed, took her nightgown, and walked quickly past him to get to the bathroom. Part of her hoped that he might grab her as she passed by… not willing to let her go. But he didn't move a muscle. Didn't even look up at her.

She emerged a few minutes later fully dressed and ready to leave.

'I guess I'll see you at work tomorrow?' she asked.

'Yeah, I'll be there,' he said, as he sat down on the edge of his bed. He looked like the wind had been knocked out of him. This is what she does to him… fills him up with love, and then leaves him running on empty.

'Bye,' she said.

'Bye.'

Just as she let herself in, she let herself out… out of his apartment… and maybe even out of his heart. She made it only as far as the top of the staircase before she let her emotions envelop her, and she sobbed, trying desperately to muffle the sound so he wouldn't hear her cry.