A/N: At the beginning of "When Girls Collide", Maddie is shown at her therapist's office, excited because she now feels like she no longer needs therapy. She and David have finally reached a manageable relationship is what she says. Well, if this is her last session, when did she start therapy? This chapter will give you a clue. A clue, a clue, a clue!

It was a rainy Thursday morning in late March, and Maddie was seated in the waiting room at her therapist's office. Her therapist, a Mrs. Rubin, was a petite older woman, with short light gray hair and glasses. She reminded Maddie very much of her grandmother on her mother's side, a kind woman who was a great listener. She thought, that must be the reason why she felt so comfortable opening up to her.

She had arrived early, giving herself plenty of time to mull over the events of the last couple of weeks. She couldn't help but think about the conversation she and David had had while seated in a fancy restaurant, working undercover on a case. Working being the key word… since that Sunday two months ago, their relationship had been about work… and only work. No candlelit dinners in corner booths or romantic weekends spent tangled up in sheets. Well, except for that one kiss…

She remembered feeling happy sitting there at the table with David; she was eager to talk… to catch-up. David, on the other hand, seemed disinterested and bitter. He had a negative attitude, especially where relationships were concerned.

She recalled their conversation…

'So, what's up with you lately?'

'Usual stuff… eating, sleeping, exfoliating.' (Funny, real funny…)

'No, I mean with the rest of your life.'

'Well, I have no life outside the office.' (So flippant!)

'C'mon, David, are you meeting any people?'

'Here and there.'

'Dating any of them?'

'You mean, am I going out with any of 'em?'

(Seriously, could he have been any more infuriating?)

'So, how 'bout you? You seeing anybody? (He turned the tables on me!)

'Me? Well, mostly I'm busy at the office, you know? But, every now and then…'

'Anyone interesting?' (Tried to back me into a corner…)

'No one you'd know.' (He knew I was lying through my teeth. He knew I was home in bed every night by 9:30.)

'You want me to set you up with somebody?'

'Thanks, but no thanks.'

'Well, I'm just offering.' (Chivalry, with a side of facetiousness…)

'So, you didn't answer my question.' (Can we get back to the matter at hand?)

'Which question?'

'Are you seeing anyone?'

'Well, women mostly,' (The man is exasperating!)

'Good morning, Maddie. I'm glad to see you decided to come back after our first visit a few weeks ago. How have you been?'

'I've been well. We had a client, a divorce lawyer. She brought us an interesting case that kept us busy, which was good.'

'Yes, busy is good. And how would you describe your relationship with David during this time?'

'Well, you could say it started with him acting a bit distant. I did what you suggested. I asked him what he's been doing outside of work, and if he's seeing anyone.'

'And what did he say?'

'Not much. He was very evasive… wouldn't give me a straight answer really.'

'And how did that make you feel?'

Maddie sat for a minute to think. The armor she put on before coming into this place began to crack, and she started to tear up a little. She reached for a tissue.

'It made me sad, you know? But I don't want to let him see how difficult this is for me. I just wish he would talk to me. But that's ridiculous, right?' She looked out the window, shaking her head. 'I mean, asking him to talk to me while I'm pushing him away.'

'And you're still sure that's what you want… to push him away… to give him the chance to find a life with someone else?'

'Yes… and no. I mean, I care about him, and I know that seeing him with another woman will break my heart. But I'm afraid if he stays with me that one day he'll resent me. I talked last time about the "ladder" he and I are on. Well, I feel like for a long time now, David has been at the top of that ladder, just waiting for me. And the truth is… I think he could… and would… wait there forever. But what if I never get there… never want to get married… never want to get pregnant again. And then one day, he realizes that he's missed out. I don't want that for him.'

'Okay, so last time you mentioned that it had been a little over a month since you had been physically intimate with David. Is that still the case?'

Feeling a little shy and guilty at the same time, Maddie looked down and blushed. 'Well… we did share a kiss the other day. He had given me a beautiful pearl necklace, and in the moment, I convinced myself that it was nothing more than a "thank you" kiss.'

Maddie paused for a moment… remembering how she knew he had practiced kissing the girls in the office. She couldn't even be mad at him for that; she knew in her heart that he was just trying to be better… for her.

'I led him on, I know that now. I accepted the gift, which maybe I shouldn't have. And, I kissed him.'

'Why do you think you did those things, Maddie?'

'Because… I still love him... it was a moment of weakness, I guess. I'm very attracted to him… I can't deny that. And because even though I find him to be infuriating sometimes, he also can be incredibly thoughtful and sweet. Knowing that he may be able to find a more fulfilling life with someone else doesn't make it easy for me to just shut my feelings off. It wasn't until he started to pull me over to the couch, that I put the brakes on.'

'What was his reaction?'

'When I turned him down… he just looked at me, and said, "Okay." I think he expected it, but he was definitely disappointed. We both were.'

'And you're sure he understands why you're behaving this way? That you're setting him free, so to speak.'

'He knows.'

'Maddie, I know that last time you talked about your baby's stillbirth. You mentioned earlier that you may never want to get pregnant again. Would you feel comfortable talking more about this?'

'Not really, but… that is why I'm here, right?' she said, nervously. 'Last year, when I got pregnant, it was not planned. But as the pregnancy went along, I began to really look forward to having my baby and becoming a mother. But that wasn't meant to be,' she said, with an unsteady voice.

'If I'm being honest, before I got pregnant, I really never saw myself as a mother. I like kids! It's not that I don't like kids. I just… never felt like I needed to have children in order to feel fulfilled. I hope that doesn't make me sound like a bad person.'

'No, no, not at all. There are lots of women who feel like you do. And do you feel like David needs those things… marriage and children… in order to feel fulfilled?'

'I do, especially now that he has one friend, Terri, a single mom, who has a baby boy, and then he's got another friend, whose wife is due in about a month. Yes, I do think David will feel like he needs those things.'

'But you've never really sat down and talked with him about it, correct?'

'No, not in so many words.'

'Why?'

Just thinking about the reasons made Maddie emotional. 'Because I feel like if I ask him, that he will not be honest with himself… or with me. That he will say that I am all he needs. That he will short change himself just to be with me. I know he values marriage. I know he adores children. He would make a wonderful husband and father, and I… I…'

Maddie tried hard not to cry, but her tears betrayed her.

'What is it, Maddie?' Mrs. Rubin handed her the box of tissues.

'When I picture David as a husband and father… I can't see myself as his wife. I wish I could,' she cried, 'I really do, but I just can't.'

Maddie pulled herself together… dabbing her eyes with a tissue. She made a mental note not to wear mascara to her next visit. That got her thinking about the time she went to visit David in the middle of the night after Sam had proposed to her. Come to think of it, she thought, she couldn't see herself as his wife, either.

'Maybe I'm just not the marrying kind. Not right now, anyway. Maybe that's a rung on the ladder… up towards the top… and I'm just not there yet. Someday, maybe.'

'Sounds like you're not completely ready to rule out the thought of marrying David. You are just not there yet. And maybe you never will be, and you're okay with that.'

Maddie suddenly felt a little more lighthearted, like no matter what, she was going to be just fine. She nodded her head in agreement, just as the timer on Mrs. Rubin's desk made a quiet ding noise signaling the session was over.