The letter
This is what I imagined Hudson's letter to Chris (when he was sentenced to four years in prison) to be like. Hudson did tell Chris the main idea of what it said, but obviously Chris burnt the letter so no-one will ever know what it actually said…
Chris,
I am so sorry for ending things so abruptly, especially without saying goodbye. After everything we've been through together it's the least you deserved. I never meant to cut you off, but I've had such a hard time trying to get my head around what I did. After the hit-and-run I was plagued with guilt, and you know that; I never really let myself comprehend what I had done and I was distracted by swimming and our relationship, but being arrested and granted bail gave me the time to really think about it. I just needed some space and some time to think and prepare myself for prison. I know that that doesn't excuse what I did, and if I were you I'd be angry and upset, and would never want to think, see or hear about the criminal ever again. But I'm not you: you're gorgeous and amazing and everything I want to be, but never will.
The main reason that I cut you off, though, was because I knew what was coming. As soon as I felt Robbo's body hit the car, I knew that I would end up here sooner or later. I realised what would happen and I didn't want to drag you down with me. I know that you told me that you'd stand by me - and I don't doubt that you would have if I'd have given you the chance - but I couldn't bear to think about the idea of you standing by me until I had to be put away, and having to say goodbye to the person that I love so much that it hurts. I love you, and I can't believe that the first time those words are communicated it's written in a letter just before my court hearing, where it's likely that we'll never see each other again. I've been wanting to say it for so long, but I couldn't because all of this would become real: how much you really mean to me, and - as I said to you at the police station - I wouldn't have been able to give it up: us, our relationship, everything.
I hope you understand that I never meant to hurt you. In fact, I was trying to save you from the hurt, and to make things easier - just like you did for me. You stood by me when my whole life fell apart and I will always be grateful, grateful for having you in my life. I don't regret giving up my career to be with you, I just wish we had lasted longer. I know I've made mistakes - that's why I'm here awaiting trial - though I know you'd tell me that we're all human and we all make mistakes, but that doesn't really make it any better, does it? I want you to know that out of everything I've been through this past year, you were the one thing that I got right, because you made everything right.
I have the feeling that you blame yourself for all of this (that's how well I know you) but you need to know that none of this was your fault; my actions are my own fault, not yours or anyone else's. You need to remember that, and hopefully one day you'll be able to forgive me for all of this.
All my love,
Hudson.
I know that - similarly to the 'whodunnit' - this was out of date in regards to what's going on in the show itself, but I have a Chris and Nate one-shot in the pipeline so I thought I'd get the 'Chrudson' ones out of the way so that I'd have a blank slate. Anyway, reviews, prompts and ideas are always welcome!