Grant injected the painkiller into my IV and sent Ranger in. As Ranger came in, I looked at him and smiled worriedly. He looked terrible. His eyes were swollen from tears, his hands were shaking, and he looked like he was on the verge of breaking down. "Come sit on the bed with me", I said. Ranger climbed in beside me, and I leaned into him. "I heard you made Green Goddess sandwiches for dinner. Were they good?"

Ranger smiled. "Yes."

"You know", I said. Ranger groaned, but he was starting to smile as well. "Green Goddess sandwiches are your comfort food. However, hot dogs are mine. Do you think that I could have a hot dog when I am feeling better?"

"You have got to be fucking kidding me", said Ranger in horror. "Do you want me to kill you? I think hot dogs are made from the parts of the animal that they have no other use for. Beaks and feathers from chickens, that sort of thing."

"No. I think they put that in dog food."

"Hot dogs have the same sort of thing in it as dog food? Do you want me to open a can of Purina puppy chow for you instead?"

I giggled. "I'm just kidding. I think you'd need a sedative instead of me if I insisted that you make me hot dogs."

"Whew! You had me going."

"What about bacon?"

Ranger groaned.

I giggled again, then turned serious. "Ranger, I am going to fight this, and I am going to win, because I am a goddamned US Navy SEAL and US Navy SEALs never quit."

"Hooyah."

I laughed. "I can't believe you said that. Wait until I tell Hal."

"I will deny it all."

I laughed again. "I love you so much."

"I love you too."

"The medication is tugging me under. Promise me that you'll be here during the dressing change?"

"I will be holding your hand and smoothing your hair out of your face."

"If you won't make me hot dogs or bacon, what about pineapple upside down cake? My sister won't eat it all this time."

Ranger snorted. "I can make you cake."

"With whipped cream?"

"Real whipped cream?"

"Or in an aerosol can. Then I can shoot it into my mouth. I could even get two-bite brownies and cover the top with a mound of whipped cream." Ranger smiled as I hummed in anticipation.

"I'll make you a cake tonight so that, when you are better tomorrow, you can have some."

I smiled and closed my eyes against the dizziness. "Hot diggity dog! I am going to be so much better tomorrow you are going to be shocked, and I'm going to eat pineapple upside down cake for breakfast." I squinted my eyes open. "I can do that because I am sick, and everybody will just be happy that I'm eating."

Ranger snorted.

"Something good with everything, Ranger. I think that the kids should have cake for breakfast with me tomorrow."

"I think our kids would love it."

I smiled and gave up the fight against sleep, and that was the last I remembered until the next morning.

I woke up when Ranger was getting dressed, and I smiled at him as I stretched. "Grant is just having a shower", he said.

"Was my night good?"

"Yes. Grant checked your temperature every hour though, and every two hours he was administering more medication of some sort. He's been alternating acetaminophen and ibuprofen every two hours as well as a supercharged painkiller every four."

"I don't feel like I'm running a fever. Is it working?"

Ranger smiled. "Yes. We are all a little tired though."

"I'm sorry. I had a good sleep."

Ranger kissed me lightly on my lips. "I'm glad. How do you feel? You are coming up to dosage time again."

"Much better. My pain is about six rather than ten."

Ranger smiled again. "Do you remember asking me for pineapple upside down cake for breakfast?"

"Vaguely."

"I made you one."

I grinned. "Thank you. Cake makes an excellent breakfast and, in all honesty, it has pineapple and cherries in it, and with that addition of fruit it's healthy."

Ranger snorted. "Healthy? Those cherries are maraschino cherries. My mom used to tell me that they take seven years to digest."

"They're a superfruit! They give seven years of health benefits before they're excreted! How good is that? And then whipped cream is a dairy product, and there are eggs in the batter of the cake. It truly is a complete meal."

Ranger shook his head and sighed. But he was having trouble keeping a smile off his face.

I grinned at him. "I have to have an antinauseant first, but after that works I think I'll be able to have a very large piece of cake. You know, for health reasons."

Ranger laughed.

"I notice you aren't in your uniform."

"I'm going to do the same thing that I did yesterday - work part of the day in my office up here and spend part of my day with you. I am also going to work in a nap. We are all a little tired, and this evening might be just as active."

"Sleeping will help you keep your spirits up as well."

"I know."

"Ranger? Can I sit in your lap for a minute?"

Ranger carefully positioned himself on the bed and me in his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck, buried my nose in his neck and took a deep sniff. "You just smell so fucking good", I said. I dropped my hand and rubbed for a moment before Ranger lifted my hand and kissed it.

"You're not well enough yet", he said. But I could see the lightening of his features and the beginning of a smile on his face.

I sighed theatrically. "But you smell so fucking good."

Ranger snorted. "Yes, but Grant will be in soon."

"Can't we just tell him that I'm all better and send him away?"

Ranger kissed me deeply, then pulled back and grinned. "Now I know that you're getting better", he said. "You haven't been interested in sex for months."

"You haven't made me pineapple upside down cake in months. Do we need to go over the health benefits of the cake again? It has magical restorative properties."

Ranger laughed.

Grant knocked at the door and came in, and he smiled when he saw me on Ranger's knee. "Did you have a good sleep?" he said.

"I did. I had a much better sleep than everyone else did."

Grant smiled. "That's good. It will help you recover." He checked my temperature and was pleased to see that I didn't have one. "During the night you've had a temperature but it has been falling. This is the first time that I have tested and you haven't had a temperature at all."

I turned to Ranger. "See? Told you. That's the power of pineapple upside down cake. It's the healthiest food around."

"Pineapple upside down cake is healthy?" said Grant in surprise.

"Yes! It has maraschino cherries which, Ranger has just informed me, stay in the body for seven years before they are digested. That means that you are receiving the full goodness of their fruit qualities for seven years. See? It's the healthiest food ever."

Grant laughed. "I don't think it works that way."

"Hunh. It should."

Grant laughed again. "What are your pain levels?"

"My left leg is about a seven, my right is about a five."

"So more like they were before we came home from Scotland?"

I smiled. "Actually? Yes, now that you mention it." I looked at Ranger, and he looked relieved.

"How is your stomach?"

"Unsettled."

"I'm not surprised to hear that. The antibiotic that we gave you is one that isn't often used because it is terrible for your stomach. What I think we'll do is to give you those two antinauseants, let them sit, go over your numbers, eat some breakfast, and then give you a painkiller. I'll change your dressings and give you your antibiotic when you are asleep again." He added the two medications to my IV.

"What about working for my hour in the morning and my hour in the afternoon?"

Grant sighed. "Steph, you are not working today."

I sighed theatrically. "I had to try."

Grant laughed.

"Well, you never know unless you try."

Grant laughed again.

"You can read your texts though", said Ranger. "Your phone was going nuts last night."

"Maybe it's a good thing that I slept through it."

Ranger laughed.

Grant pulled out the stethoscope and blood pressure cuff. He listened to my heart and lungs, and he took my blood pressure. "Your pressure is coming down, so that is good", he said with relief. "That's the first time that it has been that low in a long time."

"In a long time?" said Ranger.

"Probably since the last time that Steph used a turbocharged painkiller."

"Why, then, did you take Steph off that painkiller?"

"Steph asked to be taken off it. She was worried that she was becoming addicted to it, and she said she could put up with a little pain as long as she could still be productive and could still sleep. While we didn't want to see her in pain, Steph is the patient and has the right to make those decisions for herself. We said that we would support it as long as her health didn't deteriorate. We saw an increase in her blood pressure which coincided with the increase in her reported pain levels. However, she was still sleeping well and she was coping with the pain. There was no reason to override her decision to use a less-intense painkiller other than not wanting to see her in pain."

"Thank you for doing that", I said. "I know that was hard for you and Kai to honor those wishes, but that decision was good for me mentally. It gave me back a feeling of control when I really needed it."

"Being in pain was making you feel in control?" said Ranger.

"No, but making a fundamental decision about my care and deciding what I could and could not handle and having that respected did. You have to understand, Ranger. I was terrified that I was becoming addicted to the medication and being scared like that made me feel out of control. Feeling like I had no say was making me feel out of control. Making that decision to stop the turbocharged painkillers was really the beginning of me taking ownership of my health and understanding that I was in control and whether I regained my life was up to me. It made me feel like I still had power. Making such a huge decision and having it respected was when I started to regain my life and my self-respect. It was when my mood started improving."

Ranger looked at me for a minute, then sighed. "I didn't realize how hard on you it was."

"I didn't want you to know. You were already struggling. You were having to hold me up, the kids up, my parents up, the team up, and our friends up. You didn't need me whining as well."

"I want to be there for you, babe."

"And you are. You're the strength holding me up. But I don't have to make it harder for you."

Ranger closed his eyes and buried his face in my hair. He just sat and sniffed, and I let him settle.

Grant gave us a few minutes, and he left for the kitchen to pour coffees for Ranger and him.

I started to fall asleep on Ranger's lap, and he kissed me gently on my temple, picked me up, and put me back in the bed. "Do you want me to get some cake for you?" he said.

I smiled. "A small piece would be great. Make sure that it has a cherry on the piece. I have to take advantage of all the health benefits that I can get."

Ranger laughed and left the room to fix a plate for me, and I cuddled down in the bed and reached for my phone.