He wished, just for once, that he had a bolt-hole, a place to call his own where his brothers would not disturb him. John had the roof. Virgil had the art room. Gordon had the pool. Alan was too little to need one really, but even he had been known to seek the solace of his room at times,
But there was nowhere for Scott to go when he needed a break, because 'he never needed a break'. That was total crap, and he knew it, but his brothers had grown up knowing this, believing this, and nothing and no-one was going to tell them any different. Least of all him.
But things had been getting on top of him, and Scott was starting to feel overwhelmed. It had happened before, but then he'd had both parents to help him. Now he had no-one.
'Scott, can you come help me with my homework please?' And right on cue, there was Gordon. Breathing deeply to quell the unease, he plastered a smile on and went to help his brother.
A typical day for Scott began at 5am. Get up, quick shower, get downstairs and do five packed lunches, remembering to not give Alan the peanut butter and make sure Gordon's contained at least one piece of fruit. Tidy the kitchen and get the breakfast ready. 6am and both Alan and Gordon were stirring. Get them both up, washed down and downstairs for breakfast. This generally took almost an hour, and by this time John would be up and bathed. Leave John in charge of feeding the youngest while he got up the middle one. 7am: knock on Virgil's door until he answered. Go tidy up the bathroom. 7:15am: knock on Virgil's door again until he answers. Go downstairs and pack everyone's school bags. 7:30am: enter Virgil's room and force the boy out of bed and into the bathroom. By 8am everyone was ready for the bus. Drop Gordon and Alan off on the way.
Finish school? Go pick up Gordon and Alan – John and Virgil would be home later together after their respective afterschool activities. Gordon and Alan had an hour either in the pool or playing before dinner at 5pm. Then everyone (except Alan, who was too young but pouted about being left out) did their homework. Everyone but Scott who invariably helped Virgil or Gordon (John didn't need it) while trying to keep Alan out of everyone's hair. 6pm and bath for Alan then bed, repeat for Gordon. Virgil and John had their own activities. 8pm and time for Scott to clean the kitchen and put on the dishwasher and the laundry, make sure bags were ready for school tomorrow. Call John down off the roof at 9:30pm to go to bed. 10pm and finally Scott can do his own homework.
Get to bed for about midnight. Get woken up by Alan at 1am because he'd had a nightmare about the monster under his bed (thank you Gordon, nothing could dissuade Alan of this 'fact'). Eventually give up and let Alan sleep in his bed. Now 2:30am. This is usually when his dad decides to come home, sometimes drunk, sometimes just exhausted, Scott doesn't care which any more. 4am and Scott's woken up by the car door slamming under his window.
Scott had been following this routine for almost two years now, first with help from nannies and babysitters, but over the months these have dropped off – usually because four boisterous children are more than enough for one adult to handle. Funny that everyone thinks – knows that Scott can.
He wished he could.