I woke up the next morning as Ranger walked out of the shower and into the dressing room. I heard him as he rustled through his clothes for something to wear – when he wasn't wearing his uniform while he was working from home, it took him a little longer to pick his clothes. Having said that, because they were all black it didn't take him that long since everything color-coordinated anyway.

"Hey, Ranger", I called out as I heard him pull his clothing off the shelves.

He came to the door of the room, his towel around his waist, and smiled at me. "Good morning, babe."

I smiled. "Good morning. I was thinking that we should move the bed."

"Move the bed?"

"Yes. I can't see into the dressing room when you are changing in there, and I think if we move the bed so that it is a ninety-degree to where it currently is, I will have a better vantage point for when you get out of the bathroom. In fact, if you left the door of the bathroom open I'd be able to see clear into the shower. Now that would be a good wakeup."

Ranger laughed. "At least you didn't say that you'd like binoculars so that you could better see me in my birthday suit."

"Oh no. No need for binoculars."

Ranger laughed and turned red. "I wasn't aiming for compliments, babe."

"Hunh. I wasn't complimenting you. I was stating a fact."

Ranger grinned. "How are you feeling?"

"Ready to tell my team my theories and leave them to do the work of proving them. I'm glad the guys are so good about listening to my theories. Sometimes they are pretty farfetched, but they always make sense to me."

"Your theories have a way of being accurate."

"I don't know about that, but I do know that this current theory will require the team to do a lot of work, and I feel kind of bad that I'm not helping them."

"You're not working, babe."

"I know and, to tell you the truth, I'm in too much pain to be able to even think about working."

"What are your pain levels?"

"Considering that I probably haven't been dosed for a while, pretty good. My left leg is an eight and my right leg is a five, and in all honesty I think I am only going to need a medium-intensity painkiller to get through the day."

"Decide as you go through the day. As you get tired, you may need more help – and that's okay."

"That's what happened yesterday. However, to tell you the truth, the sleep probably did me good anyway. Are the kids up yet?"

Ranger smiled. "Yes. I actually slept in for once and we had to run to get ready. Tracy took the kids to school for their first day."

I looked down at the blankets and wiped the tears from my eyes.

"What is it, babe?" said Ranger. He did up his jeans and sat on the bed to put on his socks.

"I didn't take the kids to school for their first day."

"The kids understand and said that, if you have a good sleep today, perhaps you'll be able to see them after school and hear all their stories. In fact, why don't I make subs and cut vegetables for dinner, put a picnic blanket down on the bed and we all have a picnic dinner together?"

I shuddered in a breath. "Generally, I've been finding it okay to have restrictions. People have been incredible about helping me and so it hasn't been so bad. However, times like today? I had really wanted to see them. It is Tia's first day in grade one, and it is Alix's and Grace's first day in kindergarten. I know that Alix especially was nervous. Did they wear their courage ribbons?"

"They did. Alix told me that she was wearing her courage ribbon to match you when you wear your courage clothes."

"Lindsay sent me a courage ribbon as well. She'd had it made and said that it wasn't ready for me before I left, so she couriered it to me. She said she wasn't sure if it would arrive in time before I went on the floor for the first time though. I'll wear mine tonight so that I match the girls. I think that they will like that."

"I'll send a message to Jules so that, when she has her video meeting with the girls tonight, she can wear hers as well."

"The girls would like that a lot." I swiped my eyes again. "Did you get a picture of the girls before their first day?"

Ranger smiled. "I did. I told them that you had asked me to give them each two kisses and hugs – one from you and one from me. They picked out their own outfits for today, and Tia was very proud that she had done her hair herself."

He handed me his phone and let me scroll through the pictures. "Oh boy", I said as I saw Tia's hair. "Did you tell them that you had tucked letters into their backpacks?"

Ranger smiled. "I did, and all three of the girls read them, got teary-eyed, and said that they would keep them in their backpacks for luck. Grace led the charge, but all three of them gave me a hug and kiss to give to you and, now that I think of it, they didn't give a hug and kiss to me for the day."

I smiled. "I'll share mine."

He leaned over and kissed me. "How about Grant and I wash your hair and give you a sponge bath, then get you dressed and we can give you some breakfast while the guys come up?"

I smiled. "Sounds wonderful."

He left the room to retrieve Grant as I stared out the window and tried not to cry. I wasn't successful though, and by the time that Grant walked in the tears were streaming down my face. "Ranger is making you a banana milkshake", he said as he entered. He looked over at me and frowned. "Are you in pain?"

"No", I said. "I was just thinking."

"What about?"

"It's Alix's and Grace's first day in kindergarten, and it is Tia's first day in grade one. Tia was nervous, as all her friends are in senior kindergarten and she doesn't know anyone. Alix is nervous about meeting new people, and Grace is nervous about being away from me when I am sick, and not being able to give me healing hugs throughout the day. And I slept through them getting ready. I didn't do their hair or tell them that they look nice. I didn't give them hugs for courage or tell them that I loved them and I would be sending them love all day long. I didn't kiss the palm of their hand and tell them that, if they ever wanted a kiss from me, they just had to touch their hand to their face and it would be me kissing them. I didn't wish them luck." I swallowed back a sob. "I was sleeping, Grant. I slept through the whole thing. It was an important morning in my children's lives, and I slept through it." I sobbed again. "I missed it."

"For someone who is as involved a mother as you are, I can understand why you are upset. Did you talk to them last night?"

"Yes, a bit. I reminded them to wear their courage ribbons and I told them that I loved them. And yesterday, I printed a short letter to each of them telling them how proud I am of them, and how I will be thinking of them and sending them love. Ranger gave my letters to them this morning, and the girls put them in their backpacks to carry for luck. It is just hard, Grant. I wanted to be with them to buy them a new outfit to wear on their first day. I wanted to do their hair. I wanted to buy them a new lip moisturizer each so that their lips were shiny. I wanted to be a part of it and to support them as much as I could."

"Did they get a new outfit and a new lip moisturizer?"

"Tracy took them out last week and did it all for us." I sobbed again. "But I wanted to do it. I'm their mother."

"Yes, you are, and your kids know that you're their mother. That's why your letters made such an impact on them, such an impact that they want to carry them with them throughout the day. Yes, you weren't awake to do their hair. Who did their hair for them?"

"I assume that Tracy or Ranger did the twins. Tia did her own. It looked terrible."

Grant smiled. "Yet she was probably very proud of it, and isn't that worth something too?"

I snorted and sobbed at the same time, and I pulled Ranger's pillow over and bent over to bury my head in it. And then I let loose. Grant sat on the side of the bed and waited, and when Ranger came in, he quietly explained to Ranger why I was crying. He got up and changed positions with Ranger and sat on the chair to the side of the bed.

Ranger put my smoothie on the nightstand and pulled me in for a hug. "Babe", he said, "it was okay. The girls are okay, and the most important part is for you to be there when they get home from school. It's not an ideal situation. Nobody likes you being injured. However, we are cobbling together something that works for us. The kids are doing well, and they will be very pleased if you are awake and able to talk to them when they return home tonight." He kissed me on my head. "Babe, you are a good mother and you are trying so hard. But the fact of the matter is that you have been very sick. The kids know that you have been very sick, and they just want you to get better. If that means you need to sleep later in the morning, they understand that is needed for you to recover. They gave you healing hugs and kisses this morning, and Alix made sure that she cut up some mangoes for you."

I cried another volley of tears.

"Babe, you've got to calm yourself or Grant is going to have to give you a sedative, and then you'll need to sleep again – which isn't a bad thing except that I know that you wanted to meet your team this morning."

"I can't breathe."

"That's because you are hyperventilating. Slow it down, babe. Count breaths with me." He counted slowly, and gradually slowed my breath down. "I know that you care deeply about the kids, and they know it too. They care deeply about you. They understand that you've been very sick and they would, if given their druthers, prefer to talk to you when they get home from school. That is what they told me this morning. I was going to wake you up, but the three girls told me that you need sleep to get better and they want you to get better very much. Tia said that she wants you to come to her school so that she can introduce you to her friends, and Alix and Grace told me that they want you to come to their school so that they can show you around the class. They care so damn much about you and, if you can be awake when they get home from school? That would mean a lot to them. Even if you have to sleep through dinner, it would mean a lot to them to have you awake for when they come home from school."

"I love them so much."

"I know that and, more importantly, so do the kids."

"Ranger? I've been in pain and I've been anxious and I've been outright terrified since I was injured. However, I think this is the first time that I honestly have resented it. I feel like a delinquent mother."

"But you aren't. Babe, it was the kids' decision to let you sleep so that you'd be there after school for hugs and kisses."

I shuddered in some breaths and just leaned against Ranger and sniffed his calming scent. I sniffled again and wiped my eyes.

"It's not ideal, but it's going to be okay, babe."

I sighed. "Okay, let's get the day started and perhaps I can have a milder painkiller so that, when the kids come home from school, I can be there fully for the kids."

Ranger kissed me on the top of my head. "That sounds like a good idea." He kissed me again and then settled me back against the pillows, reached over with his hand to dry my cheeks with his thumb, and popped up. Grant dispensed the medication as Ranger retrieved a cold cloth to wash my face, then heated the cloth as Grant undressed me, and proceeded to wash my body. As Grant 'washed' my hair, Ranger went into the closet and picked out some professional-looking clothes. He selected a pair of soft charcoal palazzo pants with a long belt to tie in a bow at the waist, and a silver-gray and white-flowered dressy camisole with a light silver-gray sweater that had long sleeves to cover the IV catheter.

When I was dressed, I sipped on my banana milkshake and, just as Ranger was picking up the phone to call Miguel and the team, the phone rang. Ranger looked concerned and quickly picked up the phone and put it on speakerphone. "Hello?" he said.

"Mr. Plum? This is the principal of the school calling. I have three girls in my office that are hysterical and keep saying that they want to see their mother. We have tried to calm them down and we have tried to let them cry it out. Nothing has worked. I was hoping that you could talk to them."

Ranger looked at me, and I guess he could see that I looked devastated at the frustration in the principal's voice. "Thank you for calling", said Ranger. "The kids' lives have been turned upside down. Their mom has had a number of health problems and has almost died several times over the last six months. To be honest, three days ago no one thought she was going to make it. The kids have been sneaking into our room and giving her healing hugs and kisses throughout the day, and they were very upset to think that they wouldn't be giving her healing hugs and kisses while they were at school. Although they said they should let her sleep this morning, they have been having nightmares about Steph dying and I know that they are very scared. To not have the reassurance of being able to enter her room and see her whenever they want will be hard on them. I understand why they are upset."

The principal let out a sigh. "That's a lot for anyone to handle, let alone a three-year old or a five-year old."

"Perhaps unfortunately, the kids are smart and they are good at reading emotions. They know that things are serious."

"Do you think that you could talk to them?"

"I can, and Steph is with me right now. She can talk to them as well."

"Thank you." The principal put the phone on speaker.

"Hey, munchkins", I said. "How are you doing?"

"Mommy!" said the three girls at once. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay", I said. "You know what Daddy made me for breakfast? A banana milkshake. Do you think that's what Daddy monkeys make for Mommy monkeys when they are thirsty?"

I could hear the kids smile. "Mommy?" said Grace. "Are you going to get sick again now that we're at school and can't give you healing hugs and kisses?"

"Absolutely not", I said. "You gave Daddy healing hugs and kisses this morning, and he has been passing them on to me. I think that I feel so much better that I'm going to try to be awake when you get home from school. I want to hear about your days. Do you think that you could make me a painting or a picture of some sort today? I could tape them to the wall of Daddy's and my bedroom. It would be another smile wall."

"Yeah!" said Grace.

"I was thinking that, when you get home tonight, I will kiss the palm of your hands. And then, tomorrow, when you want a kiss and a hug you'll be able to touch the palm of your hand to your cheek, and that will be me kissing you. And you will know that I will be thinking of you right at that very moment."

"Mommy?" said Alix. "Can you come to school and kiss our palms now?"

I looked up at Ranger beseechingly. Ranger looked at Grant and saw his small nod. Ranger then looked at me and sighed. "Lixi", he said, "that will depend upon the principal. Mommy can't come to your class, as there would be too many germs and she would likely become sick again. But if the principal is okay with us coming to the office and having you called down, Grant and Mommy and I can leave in a few minutes and be there in about twenty minutes."

Alix sniffled. "Thank you, Daddy. I need a Mommy hug."

"Judging by the number of tears that your Mommy cried when she woke up and realized that she had missed you and you were already at school, she needs a very big hug from all of you as well."

"Mommy was crying?" said Tia.

"Yes", said Ranger. "She was missing you, and she had wanted to see you before you went to school. She was very upset to know that she had slept through it."

"I'll give you hugs", said Grace. "Hugs make everything better."

I smiled with joy. "Absolutely", I said. "We are leaving now, and we'll be there as soon as we can."

"Thank you, Mommy", said Alix quietly. "Love you."

"Love you too. You three and Daddy and Julie are the most important people in my life, and I am very proud of all of you. See you soon."

The principal came on the line. "Thank you", he said. "I will keep the girls in the office here with me so that they can see you as soon as you get here. And maybe they can draw some pictures for your smile wall while they wait."

I smiled. "Thank you", I said. "It has been a challenging year for the children, and they have had to handle more than any child should have. Nine months ago my husband was shot, seven months ago I had an emergency hysterectomy and an anaphylaxis episode, six months ago their adopted grandfather died and we had to uproot them and take them to Scotland, four months ago I got severe second-degree and third degree burns on my legs and feet when I ran into a burning building to save someone's life and since then have been unable to walk, three months ago my legs got infected and things were a little tense, one month ago someone tried to kidnap them, ten days ago we came home from Scotland, four days ago I almost died again, and now they are starting school. They are rolling with the punches well, but they are just little and it is hard for them. It would be hard for anybody. But how we have helped them through this last infection was to tell them that they could come into our room whenever they want and give me healing hugs and kisses while I slept, and their love would heal me. It made them feel less helpless. However, now that they are at school, they are scared that I'm going to die without their help and healing love."

"Let me think how we can best support them, and we'll talk about it when you get here."

I smiled. "Then we will see you soon."