HIV scare
The inspiration behind writing this was being recently reminded of Chris' short story arc in October 2013 where he went on a downward spiral following Hudson's imprisonment. At the time, someone had feared that Chris sleeping around would lead to him contracting an STD, so I wanted to explore that idea a bit more.
Chris was surprised when he opened the front door to find a tall, attractive man with a familiar face standing outside. Chris narrowed his eyes at him, trying to figure out where he recognised him from.
"Hey" the man greeted cautiously
"Uh, hi" Chris began, then realised that he had slept with the other guy a couple of weeks earlier, "It's umm… It starts with an 'M', right?" he asked, remembering that a few of the men that he had slept with recently had names beginning with 'M', but just couldn't remember which one was which.
The other man nodded, almost wanting to laugh at Chris forgetting his name again, "Manuel" he reminded him
Chris nodded, "Yeah, how are you?"
Manuel shifted uncomfortably, "I'm ok, how about you?"
Chris shrugged, "Yeah, I'm good" he replied, "So, what's up?"
Manuel glanced into the living room, "I need to talk to you, can I come in?" he asked hesitantly
Chris looked puzzled but nodded and stepped aside for Manuel to enter, fearing that the older man had convinced himself that they were an item. Chris had already dealt with Miguel, who had taken to practically stalking him at work because he couldn't catch on to the fact that he was just a causal hook-up, so he did not want to go through that again.
"Can I get you a drink or something?" Chris asked, secretly hoping that Manuel would decline so that he could leave quickly
"No thanks, this shouldn't take long" Manuel replied quietly, then placed himself down on the sofa and glanced around awkwardly, "Look, I probably should have told you this earlier, but I've only just got my head around it myself" he began calmly, then opened his mouth again but paused as he struggled to continue
Chris raised his eyebrows in confusion, "What's going on?"
Miguel took a deep breath, "I'm HIV-positive" he revealed shakily
Chris was taken aback and rubbed the other man's shoulder comfortingly, "Mate, I'm really sorry" he apologised earnestly, then considered this, "Hang on, why are you telling me th-" he broke off in horror as he realised what Manuel was suggesting, "Oh"
Manuel glanced down at his lap, "I'm sorry" he muttered, "I don't really remember much of our night together, we drank quite a lot and it's all a bit hazy, so I don't know whether we used protection or anything"
Chris nodded slowly and stepped backwards, "Yeah, I don't remember much either" he murmured
"So it's probably for the best that you get yourself tested" Manuel suggested
"Yeah, thanks for letting me know" Chris replied, voice barely above a whisper. Manuel looked at him sympathetically, remembering how he had felt when he was in Chris' position. He stood up and put a reassuring hand on Chris' shoulder, "I'm so sorry" he whispered.
Chris shook his head dismissively and Manuel looked him in the eyes, "Let me know what happens, ok?"
Chris nodded quickly and Manuel gave him a pathetic smile before awkwardly excusing himself from the house. The moment that the door clicked shut, Chris put his head in his hands and sobbed.
xxx
It took every ounce of courage that Chris had to knock on the door of number 28 and ask Karl for help. Initially, Karl had assumed that Chris was going to ask for more sleeping pills despite Karl not being able to prescribe them for him because of the negative effect that it had caused Chris before. However, he wasn't prepared for Chris' actual reason for being there.
After Karl reassured him that everything said between them would remain confidential, Chris nervously asked, "Is it possible to have an HIV test done at the Hospital?"
Karl was inwardly surprised but didn't let it show, "Well it would be better for you to do it at a sexual health clinic" he replied, "They specialise in that area so they have more guidance and information about it. Obviously the Hospital does too but you'd be better off going to one there"
Chris nodded in understanding, "I can suggest a couple of local clinics if you'd like" Karl suggested
"Thanks, that would be really helpful" Chris replied breathlessly
Karl hurried over to his laptop to load up the information, "Am I wrong to assume that this is for you?" he asked tentatively after a long silence
Chris shook his head, "No, you're right, it's for me" he revealed tearfully, then turned away so that his back to was to Karl. The doctor quickly printed the information out and turned towards Chris, who was struggling to hold back tears.
"Hey, it's going to be ok" Karl assured him as he wrapped an arm around his shoulder.
Chris shook his head, "This is all my fault" he spat, "I slept around with random guys so of course this happened!"
Karl shook his head, "You don't get HIV from just sleeping around" he reminded the young man, "All it takes is sleeping with one infected person and not being completely protected. This is not your fault, Chris; this is nobody's fault so don't try to blame anyone, it was just bad luck"
Chris nodded at him tearfully, but couldn't help blaming himself because he felt like it was his promiscuous behaviour that caused this to happen. Actually, he realised that instead of blaming himself he could blame Hudson for it. After all, it was Hudson being arrested and cutting him off that caused Chris to act out, so he could blame his ex for landing him in this position. Deep down Chris knew that blaming his ex was ridiculous, but with his current state of mind it was the only way that he could cope with it. After a pause, Karl grabbed the information from the printer and handed the pieces of paper to Chris, who studied them with blurry eyes.
After deciding which clinic he wanted to visit, Karl offered to go with him but Chris shook his head, "It's fine, you're probably busy" he muttered
"Not too busy for this" Karl argued, "I'd like to know that someone's there for you"
Chris scoffed, "Yeah, I doubt Kyle, Georgia or Kate would jump at the chance to spend time with me" he replied bitterly, realising guiltily that his recent behaviour had been concerning his friends and that he had been pushing them away instead of accepting their help.
"Don't they know about this?" Karl questioned
Chris shook his head, "I've only just found out myself, and there's no point in telling them if nothing comes of it. If the result's…" he took a deep breath, "If the result's positive then I'll tell them, but if it's negative then they don't ever need to know"
Karl considered this and nodded in agreement, "Ok, just give me ten minutes to sort everything out, then I'll take you to the clinic"
Chris nodded nervously. Watching Karl zoom around the house, making phone calls to the Hospital to let them know that he wouldn't be returning to work in the afternoon both eased and panicked Chris. The reality was starting to dawn on him that once he entered the clinic, his whole life could change forever, and that notion terrified him so much that he fled from the house. Karl was left standing in the middle of the room alone, but he wasn't confused by Chris' departure; rather, he was understanding of why he had left so quickly and grabbed his car keys before following after him.
xxx
Neither men said a word to each other the entire journey, and sat in silence whilst they were in the waiting room. Sitting in that dull place whilst time ticked by was excruciating for both Chris and Karl. Karl had recommended that Chris should have a full blood test rather than the 'point of care' test because it had only been a few weeks since his encounter with Manuel so the results were more likely to be accurate. Despite the numerous blood tests he had experienced in the past, this one was the most painful for Chris because of how life-changing it was. The worst part of the ordeal was the fact that he would have to wait a few days for his results, so he shakily gave the clinic his contact details whilst mentally preparing himself for what the next few days of hell would bring until he found out the results.
Karl wanted to help Chris whilst he waited, but wasn't sure how to without rousing the suspicions of his housemates. He offered for Chris to stay at number 28 but Chris pointed out that it would just draw more attention to him, so he had to carry on as normal. Karl agreed and offered to buy him a meal instead, but was surprised when Chris refused to eat despite having just lost blood and usually having a huge appetite. Chris assured him that he was just tired, but he was lying because he knew that he would have a long night of tossing and turning ahead.
xxx
The next couple of days were some of the worst days Chris had ever experienced: every minute was consumed with worry about whether he was positive or not. He decided to do some research into it so that he could be prepared for the worst, though that turned out to be a mistake because it terrified him even more. Karl had checked in on him every few hours over the days leading up to the call and Chris politely reminded him that he would let him know after he found out the results, whilst inwardly wanting to scream at him to leave him alone.
When the dreaded phone call eventually arrived, Chris hesitated before answering and felt sick to his stomach. A part of him wanted to go and physically pick up his results just to refrain from having to face up to the truth for a while longer, but he knew that he had waited long enough and didn't want to prolong the inevitable, so he asked for his results over the phone instead. He held his breath in the moments before the results were uttered and fought the urge to drop the phone and run.
Chris felt his legs turn to jelly and his head become light as he was delivered the news: the result was negative. He didn't have HIV. Chris let out a breath and deflated like a balloon; he was so overwhelmed and the build-up to that news had been one of the most terrifying things he had ever experienced. Chris crashed onto his bed and breathed his thanks before hanging up and crying in pure relief.
It took Chris a while to recover from the shock before finally texting Manuel to let him know the results: he felt guilty doing so because of Manuel's own diagnosis, but the other man had asked him and Chris realised that he would be relieved to know that he hadn't passed it on. Manuel sent back a quick reply, letting him know that he was pleased for him. Chris stared at the text for a few moments, suddenly seeing things from a new perspective before texting him back to offer his support: day or night, if Manuel needed someone to talk to or hang out with, he could turn to Chris.
He had completely forgotten about Karl during this until Chris heard someone knocking on the front door. Figuring out that it was Karl, Chris opened the front door and was proven correct. Karl gazed at him earnestly and Chris' face broke into a smile, "The result was negative" he breathed
Karl grinned and pulled Chris in for a tight hug, "I'm so glad" he murmured
Chris nodded but pulled away from his embrace, "Yeah, but I don't feel like I deserve it" he whimpered as he sat down on the top step
Karl was shocked, "Why not?" he asked as he joined him
"Because of how I've been lately" Chris pointed out, "I've behaved horribly these past few weeks and-"
Karl shook his head, "Don't try blaming yourself again" he warned the younger man, "HIV is not some sort of punishment for acting slightly out of character"
"I've not just been out of character, Karl" Chris huffed, "I've been out of control. I even convinced myself that this was Hudson's fault"
Karl wasn't shocked by this admission, "Like I said, it's no-one's fault"
Chris nodded, "I know, and I hate myself for thinking that now"
Karl shook his head, "It's normal to blame other people or things in an attempt to make sense of something" he pointed out, "No, it's not Hudson's fault and you can't follow the thread back to find the cause and place the blame on someone"
"It'll just come back to me again anyway" Chris murmured, "Me giving Hudson my number started this whole thing off in the first place, none of that other stuff would have happened if I hadn't"
Karl considered this, "I know you've been struggling with Hudson's arrest and it's been-"
Chris interrupted him, "It's not just been that though, I've been thinking about this over the past couple of days and there's so much more to it" he told Karl, "This year Summer, Andrew, Tash, Lucas and Vanessa have all left, I've been diagnosed with PTSD and broken up with Aidan and Hudson, so I guess Hudson cutting me off was just the final nail in the coffin"
Karl nodded, "Well I was going to suggest getting closure from Hudson, but if there's more to it than that, it might be worth your while talking to someone about everything and working through it that way"
Chris shrugged, "I'm talking to you now, aren't I?"
Karl smiled, "Yeah, and I'd be happy to do this again, even though I'm not a trained counsellor"
Chris shook his head, "I'll think about it" he replied, "Right now, there are a few things I need to sort out"
Karl glanced at him quizzically and Chris inhaled deeply as he gathered his thoughts about his next moves.
xxx
Kate, Kyle, Georgia and Sheila were all confused when they found that the kitchen table was laid for five and that Chris was bustling around, preparing a meal.
"What's all this?" Georgia questioned as she and Kyle entered together
"Dinner" Chris replied simply as he gave them a wide grin, "Take a seat, it won't be long"
Kyle and Georgia sat down suspiciously and exchanged a perplexed look. Kate wasn't far behind them and stopped dead in her tracks when she reached the kitchen, "Wow, that smells amazing, what is it?"
"It's Spanakopita. Mum's given me a step-by-step recipe so – touch wood" he babbled before knocking on the table, "it won't go wrong"
"Well you've not blown the kitchen up yet, so it's been a success thus far" Kyle pointed out
Sheila burst in, "Wait, someone who's not me is cooking! Should I get the fire extinguisher?" she joked, causing everyone to laugh. Sheila joined the others and Chris turned the oven off before hurrying into the utility room. When he emerged a few minutes later, he was carrying three bunches of flowers which he handed to the ladies at the table.
"These are for you" he announced as they took the flowers from him
"They're lovely" Georgia exclaimed
"Yeah, but what are they for?" Sheila questioned
"Yeah, and where are mine?" Kyle asked, mock-offended
Chris chuckled before pulling a six-pack of beer from the fridge, "I thought you'd prefer these" he replied as he passed the gift to the other man
"You thought right" Kyle sniggered
"So, not that we don't appreciate this but what's with the presents?" Georgia asked
"They're an apology and a 'thank you'" Chris revealed, "I've been a jerk lately to say the least and you've all been there for me, trying to help me even though I didn't appreciate it"
The others smiled gratefully at him, "Well you've been through a lot lately" Georgia pointed out
"Yeah, but that doesn't excuse my behaviour" Chris reminded her, "But I'm sorting it all out now so you don't have to worry about me anymore"
Kyle shook his head, "We're always going to worry about you, dude" he muttered, "We care about you and want you to be ok"
"I will be" Chris assured him softly, "Though I won't be if I've stuffed up the recipe and poisoned everyone!"
The others laughed but gave each other uneasy glances and formed a silent agreement to reassure Chris that the meal was delicious even if it wasn't. Fortunately for everyone at the table, the meal was great and it was the first opportunity in a while that they had to talk and laugh together, something that Chris would never take for granted again. He decided against telling them about Manuel and instead to put everything that had happened recently in the past so that he could focus on the future. Chris knew that getting help for his problems would be difficult, but the fact that he had the support from his family and friends was definitely going to help him to move forwards.
Thanks for reading. This story did come from nowhere but – looking back – I didn't like the idea that Chris' downward spiral was all about Hudson and was solved instantly by talking to him, so I wanted to experiment a bit. Also, it would have been amazing if the show had touched upon this (though as a G-rated show, I'm not sure how much they'd get away with) at the time .Anyway, if anyone has any ideas for one-shots then let me know, and remember that reviews are always welcome!