Harry awoke the next morning from the middle of what had ended up being an erotic dream. The details were slipping from him as he grew more conscious, but when he glanced at Hermione's tawny hair, he remembered in his dream having his face buried in those thick locks. He tried his best to forget about it and come back to reality, but he then realized that along with his dream had come an unwelcome surprise. He knew that the bulge in his pants was normal after awakening from a good night's sleep, especially after such a tawdry dream, but having that now with his best friend lying beside him felt a bit awkward. Knowing that she had likely been the object of his dream made it even more uncomfortable. He tried to picture the most unattractive thing he could think of to ease it back down to normal size. Finally, he had the image in his mind—his Uncle Vernon wearing a tutu and performing in a ballet—but the thought made him chortle and that woke up Hermione.

"Good morning, Harry," she said.

"Morning," Harry said, trying not to draw attention to his discomfort.

Unfortunately, Hermione ended up noticing anyway. "Ah. I see you and I aren't the only ones awake."

"Please, don't. It's awkward enough as it is."

"What's awkward about it? It's completely natural."

"Not when you're lying next to one of your best friends it isn't."

"Well, let me get out of bed then and give you a chance to quiet down." Hermione rose from the bed and left the room. Harry thought about his uncle dancing to Swan Lake for a few minutes, and finally he felt comfortable enough to get out of bed and join Hermione for breakfast.

Hermione already had French toast on the stove. She smiled at Harry as he sat at the table, a table that the two of them normally shared with a small army of gingers. Without the family who resided in it, the Burrow felt much smaller to them.

"It still doesn't make any sense," Harry said. "Ron's obsession with the Hallows is not like him, and for Ginny to go along with it is baffling."

"They're grieving," Hermione said as the smell of French toast started to hit Harry's nostrils. "They're desperate to find a way to bring back Fred."

"Look, no one understands the grief of losing a family more than I do, but even I know that no magic in the world can cheat death. We just killed a man who came closer to immortality than anyone in history. If Ron and Ginny continue to pursue this, it won't end well."

"Perhaps they need to discover that for themselves," Hermione said. "What good is it for us to hound them?"

"If Ron gets disarmed when he's holding that wand, the cycle of death that follows it won't be stopped. I buried that wand for a reason, and now he risks undoing all of that."

"Let him," Hermione said, flipping the bread on the stove, the tops a buttery, golden brown.

"I'm sorry," Harry said, shaking his head. "You actually want me to let them do what they're trying to do?"

"I don't know about you, Harry, but I'm beginning to grow weary of our adventures. We spent our entire schooling fending off and finally killing the darkest wizard to ever live. I'm not an Auror like you. I can't keep this up forever. I was hoping that Ron and I could settle down, raise a family, but it looks like that is no longer possible."

"Hermione, I know things with you and Ron have been going badly, but we can't let him keep doing this. We have to put an end to it."

"For what purpose? To have him hate the two of us forever because he somehow thinks he can still bring his brother back? Let him try, let him fail. He and Ginny will realize the error of their ways, and we can put this whole charade to bed and go back to the way things are supposed to be."

"I don't believe you. Last time I checked, you were sorted into Gryffindor the same as I was. You can't stand by and let the two of them keep doing this."

"Yes I can, Harry, and I will. I had to wipe away my parents' memories to go off with you and Ron to destroy Voldemort's horcruxes. I know growing up without your parents was hard for you, Harry, but mine are still out there and they don't even remember I exist. I was hoping that you and Ron would work with the Ministry to bring to justice all the Death Eaters still mucking about out there so that I could bring my parents back. Now all of a sudden Ron and Ginny have gone off the deep end and things are far messier now than they've ever been before. Don't you grow at least a little tired of all this?"

"It's like you don't even know me at all. I never back down from a fight, Hermione, and I'm not going to let my best mate and my wife walk down this path. They don't know what they're getting into here, and I have to stop them."

Suddenly, Ron and Ginny Apparated into the Burrow. Harry and Hermione jumped out of their skin and searched for their wands. Ron and Ginny, surprised to see the two of them there, pulled out theirs as well.

"Hold on!" Ron yelled before anyone could make a further move. "Blimey, I didn't expect the two of you to be here."

"What have you been doing, Ron?" Harry asked.

"Harry, look, there's a lot I need to tell you. Last night was insane."

"Ronald, you had better not still be trying to bring Fred back," Hermione said.

"We're not," Ron said. "Look, a lot happened last night and we need to talk about it."

"Hold on," Ginny said. "Harry, look, the two of us aren't here to attack you, and we know you don't want to hurt us. Can everyone agree to set their wands aside, out of reach, until Ron and I have a chance to explain what happened to us?"

Harry paused for a moment, then in one swift move, cast Expelliarmus on all three of them. Their wands all flew out of their hands and landed in Harry's. He then placed all four of their wands in the living room and returned to the kitchen. "Alright," he said. "Everyone's wands are out of reach. This is neutral territory. You had better explain quickly what the hell happened to you two last night."

"Alright," Ron said. "Well—"

"Actually, Ron," Ginny said. "I think I better do the talking. You've always been terrible at telling stories."

Ron's ears started to turn red, but he conceded. "Go ahead."

"Harry, Hermione, first of all, I need to express for both of us how sorry we are. We've been absolute fools about this whole thing and we should have listened."

"Let me guess," Harry said. "You had all the Hallows and they couldn't bring back your brother."

"No, not quite," Ginny said. "His spirit did come back to us, briefly. You won't believe this, Harry, he opened with a joke. We were surprised to see him, and he said, 'Blimey, you two look like you've seen a ghost.'"

Harry couldn't help but let out a snort of laughter, but he contained it.

"Anyway," Ginny continued, "he said that there was absolutely no way to bring him back from the dead. Apparently summoning spirits with that stone can only bring them back temporarily, in spirit form. He said that there would be no way for him to come back, no matter how much it hurt us for him to leave us behind. The two of us realized then how wrong we were. We told Fred that we were sorry that we hadn't been able to protect him. He said that the only thing he wanted was for us to take care of George and the family."

"There is another problem, though," Ron said. "You might have noticed it earlier, Harry. That wand you just took from me is my normal wand. The Elder Wand is gone."

"That's what I was afraid of," Harry said. "What happened to it?"

"Malfoy," Ron said. "As in Lucius, not Draco. The limey bastard attacked us from behind, took the wand, and Disapparated."

"What? How is that possible?" Harry asked. "How did he know where you were?"

"He's been lurking around the school as of late," Ginny said. "You know how he operates by now. He's probably trying to weasel his way back into a strong political position. He's always tried to play both sides, and now he's got control over the most powerful wand ever made."

"So we need to find and disarm Lucius," Harry said. "Then we can put the wand back where it belongs."

"Hang on," Hermione said. "Ron, you and Ginny might have come back realizing some of the error of your ways, but do either of you have any idea what was going on between me and Ron?"

"Hermione, I wasn't myself. I was under the Imperius Curse," Ron said.

"That doesn't matter. You still did what you did, violated me and...Ron, I don't think I can move past that. I know it wasn't you, but it hurts all the same, and…"

"Are you saying it's over between us?" Ron asked. "Hermione, I can't…"

"No," Hermione said. "I won't go that far...not yet...but I need time away from you for a while. We need to get the Elder Wand back. After that, I...I guess we'll see."

"You don't think Lucius was the one who cursed you in the first place, do you?" Harry asked.

"That would explain how he was able to track us down," Ginny said, "but why would he want to?"

"He knew about the Elder Wand from Voldemort," Harry said, "and he must have known that I took it after defeating him. Maybe he thinks it'll give him power. He's wrong. All I would need to do is disarm him to set everything straight again."

"He went after you two because he knew of your connections to Harry," Hermione said to Ron and Ginny. "But I can't believe even he would have gone as far as to make you do…"

"He wanted to tear you two apart," Harry said, "and he knew exactly how to do it."

"If I see him again, I'll hex him so badly that he'll be barfing slugs for a week," Hermione said.

"Then it sounds like we know our next move," Harry said. "Ron, Ginny, do you have any idea where Lucius might be?"

"I think I have a pretty good idea," Ron said. "I'm sure he's paying the Ministry of Magic a visit as we speak."

"Then we need to go find him," Harry said. "Get to him, get back that wand, and arrest him for the use of an Unforgivable Curse to do unforgivable things."

The four of them went back to the living room and took back their wands. Harry knew that things with the four of them were uneasy, but having a clear goal helped him forget about some of the messy details for the time being. Whatever was to be salvaged from their marriages could be discovered later. For now, the only goal ahead of him was to stop the bad guy and save the day once again. It would be refreshing to see a man like Lucius Malfoy have to answer for his crimes for perhaps the first time in his entire life, and Harry would be lying if he said he wasn't looking forward to that. The four of them Apparated to London and headed for the phone booth that led to the Ministry of Magic. It was now or never, and the four of them steeled themselves for the fight ahead.