"Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion."

And death shall have no dominion | Dylan Thomas

It's been such a very long night. Greg is staying late at the office; he plans to stay up all night to finish the pile of files all messing up on his table. But actually, his mind can't concentrate. Sherlock is going to have a heart transplant tonight, in the evening he received John's text message informing him that the operation was about to start, since then he has not received any further news. Greg is being restless; he cannot concentrate on his work. He also wanted to go to the hospital to wait for the surgery result, he had really thought of going but then somehow, he stopped himself. Maybe it was because he felt like he could not consider himself a real part of their family. To Sherlock, he isn't even his colleague; to John, he is just a little bit more than an acquaintance. What about Mycroft? Oh, Mycroft! He and Mycroft have known each other for a long time, perhaps ten years or more, but what exactly are they to each other? Can he call him his friend? Or what? He also never was able to define himself.

Since the day Sherlock met John, Mycroft has turned to him to update about his brother's situation. So, Greg and Mycroft no longer communicate as much as they used to, and rarely see each other. What else is there to talk about? Sometimes, after being too long without contact, Greg still thought of calling him to see how Mycroft has been doing, but then he hesitated for some reason. Reasons Greg cannot recall anymore. Greg still remembers, long ago, before John, Mycroft used to phone him so often, at least several calls a day. Mycroft was always at work, he was very busy during day time, but he would often come to him when it was late at night. Mycroft always brought takeaways, but he rarely ate any, just drinking some juice while watching Greg eat. There were times when Greg became upset that Mycroft didn't eat with him; he still remembers one night when he accidentally said that if Mycroft didn't want to eat, he didn't have to bring him food anymore. Yet Mycroft misunderstood that he didn't want Mycroft to continue coming to him. That time they didn't see each other for two weeks, Greg supposed that Mycroft was busy with something so he didn't show up; while Mycroft thought he was not welcome.

What is exactly the relationship between them? Greg can't be sure. He wanted to be friends with Mycroft, but Mycroft always evaded or remained silent about even the slightest personal question from Greg. Mycroft was only willing to talk about Sherlock, and whenever Greg wanted him to talk about himself, Mycroft would find an excuse to change the subject. Actually, Greg had also never made himself the topic, as he was so certain that Mycroft would have a thick file on him, perhaps he even knew his family tree better than Greg did. So, Greg never knew what else could they talk about. Sometimes, Greg would consult Mycroft to advise him on his work, all those difficult cases seemed to need only a glance from Mycroft then everything became clear as day. At first, Greg thought it was such a good idea, maybe they would grow closer this way, but then… after just a week, Greg suddenly discovered that if Mycroft solved all the cases, Sherlock would have had nothing else to do. Seemed like Mycroft noticed that too, so they never mentioned it but gradually stopped solving cases together.

So, in the end, after all these years, they still haven't gotten closer to each other.

Then John appeared. Then two years went by when everyone thought Sherlock was dead. At that time, without Sherlock as a bridge, not even John and Greg could keep in touch, let alone Mycroft. Each of them withdrew to their own world, and those worlds no longer had anything in common. At times Greg still felt like he was being watched, but after a few chases and questioning of the strange stalkers without any concrete results, slowly Greg's world returned to its peace. Greg knew, maybe it was Mycroft who secretly hired people to spy on him, but because Mycroft didn't call or text anymore, Greg also didn't actively contact him again.

Around the same time, Greg completed his divorce proceedings. Then Sherlock once again showed up in their lives. From time to time, Greg found himself coming across Mycroft, but they rarely talked to each other again. It happened more than six years ago, Rosie is almost four already. How quickly time passes. Since then, he has lived alone, spending almost all of his time on those serious cases. Gradually, he got a promotion, a better salary, better title, but it seems that his life is much lonelier than before. Sometimes Greg remembers the time when he first met Sherlock and Mycroft, he found his life much more meaningful back then.

And why would Greg want to be friends with Mycroft? Sometimes he asked himself so. He must assure himself he was not aiming for any benefit that being close to a high-ranking government employee might give him. Greg knew he was not that kind of man, and Mycroft and Sherlock probably knew it too. Greg surely was not motivated by self-interest, so for what reason? Greg is not a man without friends, his profession makes him a huge number of acquaintances, and he also has a large number of friends. Greg has never been lonely; he wanted to be friends with Mycroft not because he had a need to communicate. It was simply that, for some reason, he wanted to become closer to that man. Was it because… he felt that Mycroft was so lonely, that he wanted to accompany him? But is that really the true reason? Greg never saw Mycroft with pity, or sympathy. Greg kept thinking of him because there was some urge, deep inside, an unnamed desire, telling him that he needed to reach out, to get closer to this person.

Before Greg could better understand his own desire, John appeared. Since then, with Mycroft gradually beginning to disappear from his life, Greg suddenly felt frustrated. Didn't that mean he was only considered just a tool for Mycroft to control his brother, a… babysitter who just got fired? Greg didn't actively call Mycroft, so he also didn't call Greg back, and never came to Greg's office anymore. Even so, the habit of staying late at work every night Greg still couldn't break. He didn't want to give it up, he wanted to think that maybe one day, Mycroft would come again. He would just stay here and wait for that day. Actually, even if he went home, Greg wouldn't have anyone waiting for him at home anyway. To him going home is no different from staying the night at the office, only missing a bed. Two chairs putting together would do just the same to his sleep.

So tonight, even though he really wanted to go to the hospital to wait for the surgery result, Greg still stopped himself from coming. He didn't want to appear too… desperate to become closer to them, not to mention facing Mycroft. They must have not seen each other in forever, since they happened to meet at Sherlock's apartment months ago. That day Mycroft only spared him a quick glance, then hurriedly greeted him and found an excuse to leave early, making him stay at Baker Street being upset the whole day long. Looking back now, Greg still feels annoyed. Holding the phone in his hand, he waits for a text message regarding the results of the surgery, but the longer he waited, the more time it took to come. John hasn't texted anything more, Greg is also afraid of disturbing so he does not dare to call. Molly doesn't answer any phone calls. It's past midnight, almost one o'clock in the morning, till now it's already been seven hours since the operation started. Why so long? He wonders if there occurs any problem, suddenly Greg feels a rush of anxiety making him restless.

Fortunately, there is only him staying on duty in the office tonight.

Greg doesn't remember when he fell asleep, but when he opens his eyes, he sees Mycroft already sitting next to him, looking at him intently with those kind blue-grey eyes. Greg sits up startled, takes a look at his watch, it's almost three in the morning. Why is Mycroft here now, shouldn't he be in the hospital? Greg's face must look so pale with worry written clearly all over, that Mycroft feels the urge to quickly give him a reassurance smile. Mycroft's smile makes his pounding heart slowly returns to its normal rate. Yes, it is this smile that he's been thinking of for years; it is this peaceful feeling that he's failed to search for anywhere since Mycroft disappeared from his life. Greg can remember it all clearly now. He remembers how he has always felt whenever Mycroft was with him. Just looking at the familiar smile that Mycroft used to give him so generously, Greg suddenly finds within himself the feeling he has thought he already forgot, the feeling that he has already buried deep below.

"Mycroft? Why… how did you get in here? How was the surgery?"

Still resting his cheek on his hand, slightly leaning against the arm of the chair, Mycroft smiles.

"You didn't lock the door, see?" Then he points to the door. The door is really open. Greg still stares at Mycroft in disbelief. Pausing a beat, Mycroft continues. "Rest assured, Greg, Sherlock will be fine."

Greg lets out a small sigh that he has been holding in his heart ever since. So, everything will be fine, how fortunate! Greg feels happy, this feeling of relief makes him forget all the anger he has kept in his heart for so long, as an excuse to stop himself from actively keeping in touch with Mycroft. It has really been a long time since Mycroft last came to the office to visit him like this. Greg leans over, pretending to be rearranging the messy files on his desk, but he is in fact just bowing his head, trying to hide the beaming joy on his face, and to calm himself a little. He's startled to feel his racing heart flutters. Mycroft is actually here! After getting the result of the surgery, he does come here to see Greg, so Greg must really have some place in his heart. Surely so. Greg can't help a smile growing bigger on his face.

"Are you that happy at the news?" Still smiling at him, Mycroft asks a little teasingly, but Greg finds it all pleasant. Greg jokes back with relief.

"Of course, Sherlock cheated death thrice already, am I the only one happy here? Someone is even happier than me, that's why he comes all the way to bring the news. Right?"

Mycroft sits up straight, he stops smiling and just stares at Greg. Still the same warm gaze, just missing a bright smile. Mycroft speaks softly.

"Greg… Thank you for always looking out for Sherlock all these years… Greg, you are not just a friend, you have become our family. I hope you know how important we consider you are to us."

Greg suddenly relents. He doesn't know why Mycroft says that out of the blue, but only one simple sentence from Mycroft has made him no longer sulky. Greg doesn't know how to respond; he wasn't prepared for such a serious statement from Mycroft. Thinking back about such a long time without contact, Greg suddenly feels regret. He's always known that the Holmes brothers aren't good at relationships, especially Mycroft. So why hasn't he insisted on keeping in touch with him back then, if he did, they would have been much closer to each other now. Perhaps if so, Greg wouldn't have to think about how to respond to Mycroft as he does now.

Realizing that Greg is a bit surprised and does not know what to say to his words, Mycroft smiles again. Then he gets up, walks to the other side of the room, with his back turned at Greg, he looks through the window into the far distance. Outside, only a faint street light is shining in, no one is walking on the street. The night is quiet, and lonely. Mycroft's back also looks lonely.

Greg is so absorbed in keeping his eyes on Mycroft that he suddenly feels a strange surge of emotions in his heart. Still a feeling that's hard to name. Greg asks himself, what is it? Why does he want to come closer and touch that back? Why does he want to… hug that back? Greg is startled. He reminds himself not to be so rude, that if he commits such an act, Mycroft will most likely never come to find him again.

Greg doesn't want that to happen.

Still looking at Mycroft, Greg feels a sense of serenity creeps into his heart again. He is so glad to have Mycroft here now, to keep his company, and even though they are both quiet, the silence is comforting. Greg slowly stands up; he reaches Mycroft's side.

"What are you looking at?"

Mycroft smiles again. Greg has never seen him smile this much. He must have been so happy about Sherlock's surgery that he is in such a good mood.

"I only look at the night. And I am surprised to realize that, for my whole life, I never knew that the night could look this beautiful."

Greg looks intently in the direction Mycroft is looking. There is only one street lamp, a few cars are parked, all shops are closed, here and there are a few small flower bushes. There are a few dim stars in the sky. This scene he still looks at every day, the night is much quieter than it uses to be in the daytime, but there is actually no difference.

As if reading Greg's mind, Mycroft speaks again, his voice sounds so soft.

"Not those houses and cars. It's the darkness, Greg. Look, it's still there, but nobody notices it. People only look at things that are illuminated by light, and implicitly ignore what still exists in parallel, which is just equally as important. If there was no darkness, no one would appreciate the light, right?"

Then, still smiling, Mycroft turns his back, and walks over to Greg's table.

"Greg, am I bothering you here?"

Startled, Greg also turns around and gently sits down next to Mycroft. Mycroft is holding a pen, he scrawls something on the white A4 paper Greg putting on his desk. Greg tries to look, but he doesn't immediately realize what Mycroft is scratching. Mycroft says with a low voice, his hand still moving over the paper.

"I like to draw random things when I don't know what to think. It's a house, I like to draw houses the most. It makes me feel relieved."

Greg silently watches Mycroft. As if embarrassed, Mycroft suddenly stops. Greg speaks up.

"What it it?"

Mycroft fiddles with the pen.

"I suddenly realized that I had never drawn for anyone to see before."

Greg suddenly grabs Mycroft's pen-holding hand.

"Then let me see, okay? I want to know more about you, is that okay?"

Mycroft is startled, he isn't prepared for Greg's unexpected action, so he doesn't know how to react. Greg also mentally wakes up, as his face slowly turns red, probably from the embarrassment at his sudden outburst, but his hand still grips Mycroft's tightly. Mycroft doesn't answer immediately, still ducking his head to avoid Greg's emotional gaze, he gently places his other free hand on Greg's. Both his hands take hold of Greg's right hand, and then, Mycroft lays down softly, resting his head on it, he murmurs.

"I feel tired. Can I borrow your hand to sleep for a bit?"

Greg smiles secretly. This Mycroft is really… too cute. He feels his chest throbbing. Mycroft is sleeping on his arm, on his desk! His cheek is resting on the back of his hand! Greg finds himself once again filled with that unspeakable emotion. Mycroft holds his hand a little tighter, and he whispers in a very low voice.

"Thank you, Greg. Thank you very much indeed."

Then Mycroft says nothing more. Only a few minutes later, Mycroft's breathing has evened out, perhaps he is too tired to fall asleep so easily. Propping his left arm on the table, Greg rests his head on it and silently watches Mycroft, with his eyes closed, sleeping peacefully beside him.

Greg never thought tonight could be this peaceful, this beautiful.

It doesn't take long before Greg himself also falls asleep beside Mycroft.