Chapter One Cravings

This was the time of day when I most wished I were able to sleep.

High School.

Or was purgatory the right word? If there were any way to atone for my sins, this ought to count toward the tally in some measure. The tedium was not something I grew used to; every day seemed more impossibly monotonous than the last.

Perhaps this could even be considered my form of sleep if sleep was defined as the inert state between active periods.

I stared at the cracks running through the plaster in the far corner of the cafeteria, imagining patterns into them that were not there. It was one way to tune out the voices that babbled like the gush of a river inside my head.

Several hundred of these voices I ignored out of boredom.

When it came to the human mind, I'd heard it all before and then some. Today, all the thoughts were centered around a new addition to the student body. A celebrity was going to be a fellow student. For the last month the rumors that Jaxon Stone, the tech mogul was going to be attending this little high school was all that anyone could think. My family wasn't really that interested, only that it was a little entertaining to see the masses react to him. He was late on his first day but no one would tell him. The teachers all expected him to give big donations to the school and the students all wanted to talk to him, see if he lived up to the media. All the girls were daydreaming about him, how his jawline was perfect and how he was literally like a male model. Most of the guys really wanted to hear his stories and see what cool stuff he had. They had already spread the word that he drove a Mclaren to school, it was a nice model.

I blocked out four minds out of courtesy. Those would be my siblings. I tried to give my family as much privacy as I could. I didn't need to hear their minds to know what each of them were thinking. Eleanor was itching to be home to challenge Jessamine to a rematch. It would take every ounce of her limited patients to make it till the end of the day. Royal was pouting, he was irritated that the new kid was getting so much attention. For the longest time he had been the most attractive male everywhere he went, despite the supernatural improvements. But with the new kid the females were making comparisons between all the guys in the school with Jaxon and it appeared that he was coming out on top of every match, that was something Royal wouldn't like to know. It made me laugh internally. Archie was looking into the immediate future for accidents involving Jessamine and Jessamine like always in constant pain. She hadn't been as adjusted to this kind of exposure to humans like the rest of us had. She would need to hunt as soon as school let out.

Edythe. Archie called my name in his head and had my attention at once.

It was just the same as having my name called aloud. I was glad my given name had fallen out of style in the last few decades—it had been annoying in the past; anytime anyone thought of any Edythe, my head would turn automatically.

My head didn't turn now. Archie and I were good at these private conversations. It was rare that anyone caught us. I kept my eyes on the lines in the plaster.

How is she holding up? he asked me.

I frowned, just a small change in the set of my mouth. Nothing that would tip the others off. I could easily be frowning out of boredom.

Jessamine had been still for too long. She wasn't performing human ticks the way we all must, constantly in motion so as not to stand out, like Eleanor pulling at her hair, Royal crossing his ankles first one way then the next, Archie tapping his toes against the linoleum, or me, moving my head to stare at different patterns in the wall. Jessamine looked paralyzed, her lean form ramrod straight, even her honey hair seeming not to react to the air wafting from the vents.

Archie's mental tone was alarmed now, and I saw in his mind that he was watching Jessamine in his peripheral vision. Is there any danger? he searched ahead into the immediate future, skimming through visions of monotony for the source behind my frown. Even as he did so, he remembered to tuck one tiny fist under his sharp chin and blink regularly. He brushed a tuft of his short, jagged black hair out of his eyes.

I turned my head slowly to the left, as if looking at the bricks of the wall, sighed, and then turned to the right, back to the cracks in the ceiling. The others would assume I was playing human. Only Archie knew I was shaking my head.

He relaxed. Let me know if it gets too bad.

I moved only my eyes, up to the ceiling above, and back down.

Thanks for doing this.

I was glad I couldn't answer him aloud. What would I say? My pleasure? It was hardly that. I didn't enjoy tuning into Jessamine's struggles. Was it really necessary to experiment this way? Wouldn't the safer path be to just admit that she might never be able to handle her thirst as well as the rest of us could, and not push her limits? Why flirt with disaster?

It had been two weeks since our last hunting trip. That was not an immensely difficult time span for the rest of us. A little uncomfortable occasionally—if a human walked too close, if the wind blew the wrong way. But humans rarely walked too close. Their instincts told them what their conscious minds would never understand: We were a danger that must be avoided.

Jessamine was very dangerous right now.

It did not happen often, but every now and then I would be struck by the obliviousness of the humans around us. We were all so accustomed to it, we always expected it, but occasionally it seemed more glaring than usual. None of them noticed us here, lounging at the battered cafeteria table, though an ambush of tigers sprawled in our places would be less lethal than we were. All they saw were five odd-looking people, close enough to human to pass. It was hard to imagine surviving with senses so incredibly dull.

At that moment, a small boy paused at the end of the closest table to ours, stopping to talk to a friend. He tossed his shaggy hair, combing his fingers through it. The heaters blew his scent in our direction. I was used to the way that scent made me feel—the dry ache in my throat, the hollow yearn in my stomach, the automatic tightening of my muscles, the excess flow of venom in my mouth.

This was all quite normal, usually easy to ignore. It was harder just now, with the reactions stronger, doubled, as I monitored Jessamine.

Jessamine was letting her imagination get away from her. She was picturing it—picturing herself getting up from her seat next to Archie and going to stand beside the boy. Thinking of leaning down and in, as if she were going to whisper in his ear, and letting her lips touch the arch of his throat. Imagining how the hot flow of his pulse beneath the weak barrier of his skin would feel under her mouth...

I kicked her chair.

She met my gaze, her black eyes resentful for a second, and then looked down. I could hear shame and rebellion war in her head.

"Sorry," Jessamine muttered.

I shrugged.

"You weren't going to do anything," Archie murmured to her, soothing her mortification. "I could see that."

I fought back the frown that would give his lie away. We had to stick together, Archie and I. It wasn't easy, being the freaks among those who were already freaks. We protected each other's secrets.

"It helps a little if you think of them as people," Archie suggested, his high, musical voice racing too fast for human ears to understand, if any had been close enough to hear. "His name is William. He has a baby brother he adores. His father invited Earnest to that Superbowl party, do you remember?"

"I know who he is," Jessamine said curtly. She turned away to stare out one of the small windows that were spaced just under the eaves around the long room. Her tone ended the conversation.

She would have to hunt tonight. It was ridiculous to take risks like this, trying to test her strength, to build her endurance. Jessamine should just accept her limitations and work within them.

Archie sighed silently and stood, taking his tray of food—his prop, as it were—with his and leaving her alone. He knew when she'd had enough of his encouragement. Though Royal and Eleanor were more flagrant about their relationship, it was Archie and Jessamine who knew each other's every need as well as their own. As if they could read minds, too—but only each other's.

Edythe.

Reflex reaction. I looked up in the direction of the sound my name being called, though it wasn't being called it was being thought.

My eyes locked with these piercing green eyes. They didn't flinch. I realized this was the new guy, this was Jaxon. I examined his face in a second. He was attractive almost any female would admit that, even immortal ones. His dark brown hair was long on the top and faded on the sides. His face was perfectly proportioned. His jaw was strong and enhanced by his dark stubble. The most noticeable thing about his face was his dark green eyes that contrasted his tan skin. They looked heavy with age and stress. I broke the contact first to save him from being scared his first day by one of the Cullens.

I realized quickly it wasn't his voice I had heard, it was Jeremy Stanley. It had been sometime since his mental voice broke through to me. It was such a relief when he got passed his obsession with me, the mental images he had fabricated were so repulsive.

The first memory now came through.

"I bet he will fall for the Cullens like the rest of us."

I chuckled. Jaxon probably has much better stuff to do then worry about what he would consider small people.

I reached out to hear Jaxon's mind but I was surprised, his mind was silent to me. I shifted my vision to make sure he was still in the room. He hadn't moved. Was I losing my ability, I had only known abilities to improve with time.

I let all the voices flood into my head. It was like a dam giving way, I could almost process every thought I had in my head.

Wow, he's amazing. Thought a junior girl.

Man it's so unfair, he's so rich but he's our age. Thought June Richards.

Look at him, he's nothing special, just another rich kid. I can't believe he's getting all this attention, ugh even Edythe Cullen is staring at him. Thought Logan Mallory.

I shook my head.

"Jeremy Stanley is giving the new boy all the dirty laundry on the Cullen clan." I murmured to Eleanor as a distraction.

She chuckled. I hope he's making it worth the kids' time.

"Rather unimaginative, just the barest hint of scandal. Not an ounce of horror." I said with a grin.

Does the new boy even care, I would imagine this whole school would be boring to him. Eleanor thought.

I froze. I still couldn't get a sense of Jaxons mental voice.

I shrugged. "I can't tell yet." I murmured.

I could hear his actual voice. Jeremy and Mikayla Newton had filled him in on most of the gossip about my family. He looked pretty uninterested for the most part, he was probably a narcissist, though in the minds of most the people here with some exceptions thought he was rather polite.

Mikayla Newton was rather possessive of him, trying to monopolize his time. It rubbed me the wrong way for some reason. I didn't like how she had put a claim to him without even realizing his kindness for a simple gesture. The mental images she was cooking up were far from civilized.

The bell that brought lunch to end rang and I through my props in the trash can and went to my next tedious class. I sat alone in Mrs Banners Biology class. I was one of the first ones in the room and sat down in my little corner of the class. I wouldn't learn anything in this lecture but it would just be something to occupy my time, the endless time I had. I sighed.

That's when Mikayla's mental chatter popped up in my head. She was leading Jaxon to our class, that meant he would have to sit by me. Oh that poor kid, sitting next to a monster on his first day. Maybe I could figure out a way to read his mind with the close proximity. I was eager to fix this problem.

They both walked in and this wave of air caught his scent and flooded me. It was the sweetest scent I had ever smelt in my 100 years. I was going to have it. I saw my reflection in a glass, it was the monster looking back at me. I hated that beast. I wasn't her, though at this very moment I was so close to being her. I locked my body down. Jaxon moved to our table and sat down. It appeared he was uncomfortable and he had every right to be. I despised him for being so alluring. Why would he ever come to this place. Was he some kind of demon from my own hell to torment me.

That was the longest hour of my eternity. I could only glare at him. How did this mortal have this power over me. At any second this scent could be too overwhelming and I would slaughter not only him but the rest of these children. I couldn't find anything but him to blame. Deep down I knew it wasn't him but at that moment I needed to find something to help me fight off the monster. Part of my mind was making plans to get his blood. I knew that I could kill everyone in this room in 8 seconds and then I could have him. Or I could wait and follow him and have time to enjoy his sweet blood. I fought all those thoughts back with the restraint I had built up in ninety odd years. It was just enough.

He must think I'm possessed. It infuriated me further that I couldn't read his mind. When the bell rang I almost ran out of the class. I went to my car. I noticed the boys' Mclaren. If I wasn't in such a bad mood I would have stopped to admire it.

I breathed in large lungfuls of air, but his scent was stuck in my mind. If I could just forget it. I wondered why Archie hadn't seen this, was he so wrapped up in Jessamine that he was blind to the tragedy that almost occurred at my hands.

I was sane again. I could think again. And I could fight again. I could fight what I didn't want to be.

I didn't have to go to his home. I didn't have to kill him. Obviously, I was a rational, thinking creature, and I had a choice. There was always a choice.

It hadn't felt that way in the classroom... but I was away from him now.

I didn't have to disappoint my mother. I didn't have to cause my father stress, worry... pain. Yes, it would hurt my adopted father, too. And he was so gentle, so tender and loving. Causing someone like Earnest pain was truly inexcusable.

Perhaps, if I avoided this boy very, very carefully, there was no need for my life to change. I had things ordered the way I liked them. Why should I let some aggravating and delicious boy ruin that?

That is exactly what I would do. I could rearrange my schedule to avoid this boy. I would get my schedule switched so I wouldn't have that temptation near me.

The last hour of school was almost over. I decided to put my new plan into action at once. Better than sitting here in the parking lot, where he might pass me and ruin my attempt. Again, I felt the unjust hatred for the boy.

I walked swiftly—a little too swiftly, but there were no witnesses—across the tiny campus to the office.

It was empty except for the receptionist, who didn't notice my silent entrance.

"Mr. Cope?"

The man with the red hair looked up and startled. It always caught them off guard, the little markers they didn't understand, no matter how many times they'd seen one of us before.

"Oh," he gasped, a little flustered. He smoothed his shirt. Silly, he thought to himself. She's almost young enough to be my daughter. "Hello, Edythe. What can I do for you?" his eyes blinked rapidly behind his thick glasses.

Uncomfortable. But I knew how to be charming when I wanted to be. It was easy, since I was able to know instantly how any tone or gesture was taken.

I leaned forward, meeting his gaze as if I were staring deep into his flat brown eyes. His thoughts were already in a flutter. This should be simple.

"I was wondering if you could help me with my schedule," I said in the soft voice I reserved for not scaring humans.

I heard the tempo of his heart increase.

"Of course, Edythe. How can I help?" Too young, too young, he chanted to himself. Wrong, of course. I was older than his grandmother.

"I was wondering if I could move from my Biology class to a senior-level science. Physics, perhaps?"

"It there a problem with Mrs. Banner, Edythe?"

"Not at all, it's just that I've already studied this material..."

"In that accelerated school you all went to in Alaska. Right." His thin lips pursed as he considered this. They should all be in college. I've heard the teachers complain. Perfect 4.0s, never a hesitation with a response, never a wrong answer on a test—like they've found some way to cheat in every subject. Mrs. Varner would rather believe that anyone was cheating in Trig than think a student was smarter than her. I'll bet their father tutors them... "Actually, Edythe, Physics is pretty much full right now. Mrs. Banner hates to have more than twenty-five students in a class—"

"I wouldn't be any trouble."

Of course not. Not a perfect Cullen. "I know that, Edythe. But there just aren't enough seats as it is..."

"Could I drop the class, then? I could use the period for independent study."

"Drop Biology?" His mouth fell open. That's crazy. How hard is it to sit through a subject you already know? There must be a problem with Mrs. Banner. "You won't have enough credits to graduate."

"I'll catch up next year."

"Maybe you should talk to your parents about that."

The door opened behind me, but whoever it was did not think of me, so I ignored the arrival and concentrated on Mr. Cope. I leaned slightly closer and stared as if I was gazing more deeply into his eyes. This would work better if they were gold today instead of black. The blackness frightened people, as it should.

My miscalculation affected the man. He flinched back, confused by his conflicting instincts.

"Please, Mr. Cope?" I murmured, my voice as smooth and compelling as it could be, and his momentary aversion eased. "Isn't there some other section I could switch to? I'm sure there has to be an open slot somewhere? Sixth-hour Biology can't be the only option..."

I smiled at him, careful not to flash my teeth so widely that it would scare him again, letting the expression soften my face.

His heart drummed faster. Too young, he reminded himself frantically. "Well, maybe I could talk to Rhonda—I mean Mrs. Banner. I could see if—"

A second was all it took to change everything: the atmosphere in the room, my mission here, the reason I leaned toward the red-haired man... What had been for one purpose was now for another.

A second was all it took for Sean Wells to enter the room, place a signed tardy slip in the basket by the door, and hurry out again, in a rush to be away from school. A sudden gust of wind through the open door crashed into me, and I realized why that first person through the door had not interrupted me with his thoughts.

I turned, though I did not need to make sure.

Jaxon Stone stood with his back against the wall. His piercing eyes stared at me, they looked heavy. His heart beat stayed level and that just infiriratrd me more, the sound of his blood. It made venom pool in my mouth. My throat started to burn like a wild fire had set in.

My hand hesitated in the air above the counter. I would not have to look back in order to reach across it and slam Mr. Cope's head into his desk with enough force to kill him. Two lives rather than twenty. A trade.

The monster waited anxiously, hungrily, for me to do it.

But there was always a choice—there had to be.

I cut off the motion of my lungs and fixed Carine's face in front of my eyes. I turned back to face Mr. Cope and heard his internal surprise at the change in my expression. He shrank away from me, but his fear did not form into coherent words.

Using all the control I'd mastered in my decades of self-denial, I made my voice even and smooth. There was just enough air left in my lungs to speak once more, rushing through the words.

"Never mind, then. I can see that it's impossible. Thank you so much for your help."

I spun and launched myself from the room, trying not to feel the warm-blooded heat of the boy's body as I passed within inches of it.

I didn't stop until I was in my car, moving too fast the entire way there. Most of the humans had cleared out already, so there weren't a lot of witnesses. I heard a sophomore, D. J. Garrett, notice and then disregard...

Where did Cullen come from? It was like she just came out of thin air... There I go, with the imagination again. Mom always says...

When I slid into my Volvo, the others were already there. I tried to control my breathing, but I was gasping at the fresh air as if I'd been suffocated.

"Edythe?" Archie asked, alarm in his voice.

I just shook my head at him.

"What the hell happened to you?" Eleanor demanded, distracted for the moment from the fact that Jessamine was not in the mood for her rematch.

I shook my head and looked up across the parking lot. I could see Jaxon in his car, and he was looking back at me. His face took a fierce edge to it and then he revved his V8 engine. It made a loud metallic roar, as if he was trying to stand his ground. This boy was so irritating at this moment. I slammed the transmission in drive and sped out of the parking lot.