Chapter 2
Setsuna and Marina sat in a comfortable silence in her bedroom as she set out her clothes for the following day. She started humming a tune to herself with a smile on her face and glanced over her shoulder where Setsuna sat in a chair near her desk staring outside through the large window that led to her balcony.
"Setsuna."
The Krugis man looked at her with raised dark eyebrows, but didn't speak.
"Why won't you stay here with me Setsuna? You don't have to continue to fight like you do. I've told you this before. Let's change the world together," she said softly, approaching him with sad eyes.
"And I've told you before that fighting is all I know and am good at," he stated with a frown.
Marina was silent and played with the ends of her long black hair. She hated hearing Setsuna say that and it made her incredibly sad. She couldn't imagine the horrors he went through as a child soldier and they would continue to have an impact on him the rest of his life.
"Don't feel sorry for me. I can see it on your face," Setsuna said without any emotion.
"But Setsuna!" Marina exclaimed with tears in her eyes, "Don't you have anyone important to you? If you keep fighting you could be killed and I'm sure they would be devastated!"
Setsuna paused and thought about the Ptolemy and crew. They depended on him and he had to keep fighting for what they believed in. He had to eradicate war with his Gundam. He thought about how out of place he had felt the past couple of months. He was trying to keep his ideals with Celestial Being that had always been the most important to him and balancing a new relationship with Feldt. He wanted to be there for her, but his work came first and inside he felt like he was trying to be something he wasn't for her. She adored him and he had no idea why. He brushed her off often because missions were more important and she was always ok with it, saying she understood. She was always waiting for him when he got back. He liked Feldt, but in the end he always felt empty except when he was fighting. He also felt at peace with himself when he was talking to…
"Would you be devastated?"
Marina's lips parted and a small gasp came out as his chestnut eyes bore into her.
"Setsuna…" she trailed off.
Setsuna didn't say another word. He stood up and Marina found herself alone in her room. Her heart hammered in her chest and she stared at the door where he had just left. She immediately stood and ran to it, throwing it open to try and catch him.
"Setsuna!" She called out down the hall and ran as quickly as she could down the tiled floor.
…..
Lyle emerged from the bathroom with a towel around his waist and his dirty clothes clutched in one hand. His wet brunette hair clung to his neck and beads of water rolled down his chest and back. He wanted a cigarette badly. He stopped in the doorway as he saw pink hair still present in his room. His eyebrows rose and the corner of his mouth twitched.
"What are you still doing here?" He asked and added, "I don't think your boyfriend would take kindly to you being in another man's room, especially one who was half naked."
Feldt found herself blushing, "No, probably not, but I want to talk to you."
"You couldn't have asked me earlier? Instead you come to my room and hover over me in my sleep and wait for me in my bed while I'm taking a shower," he said skeptically.
Feldt found herself at a loss for words and watched him throw his dirty clothes in the laundry. He went to his closet and pulled out a shirt and pants. The systems engineer gasped when he dropped the white towel around his waist and it fell to the floor. She stared at his backside with wide eyes as he pulled underwear and pants on, followed by a plain black t-shirt. He turned around to see her with wide eyes and her mouth partly open.
"This is my room, deal with it," he said with a scoff at her reaction.
Feldt's eyes went to the floor and she squeezed her fists on top of her knees.
"What's going on? Clearly it must be important," Lyle said with a frown and sat down in the chair in front of the desk in his room.
"I wanted to check on you. You've seemed down," Feldt said quietly.
Lyle laughed bitterly, "What gives you that impression?"
"You seem like you're drinking and smoking more than usual. You're always upset acting too," Feldt replied, her eyes meeting his and then going back to the floor.
"I've always enjoyed alcohol and I enjoy cigarettes, that's not new," he shrugged.
Feldt squeezed her fists tighter and tears welled in her eyes, "It's not the same! You know it."
Lyle looked taken aback and then a scowl covered his handsome features, "You wouldn't exactly be happy go lucky if someone stole their lover out from under you, would you?"
Feldt gasped, "Lyle!"
The Irishman rolled his eyes, "Don't look at me like that."
Feldt was at a loss. She was so confused at that moment and didn't know how to respond. They had gone from a horrible initial interaction where he stole her first kiss. She had watched him from afar, fascinated and sickened at how much he looked like Neil, the man she had been in love with. Then she hated him for 'replacing' the original Lockon. She felt like sometimes the others forgot that Neil was gone and that greatly upset her. It was hard to remember sometimes with the way Lyle had accepted the name Lockon Stratos, used his brother's favorite phrases while fighting, adopted his brother's sniper fighting style, wore the same green colored uniform and carried Haro around.
Tears continued well up in Feldt's eyes and a stray tear ran down her cheek. Her lip trembled and she couldn't look at the man next to her. She had come to understand him so much more after their relationship had escalated so quickly in Ireland. Neil had died and after time had passed Feldt had realized her admiration for Setsuna. She adored him and it destroyed her when he rejected her in favor of needing to fulfill his duty as a Gundam meister. Seeing him in so much pain all the time made her sad and she wished she could take some of the burden for him, but he wasn't willing to let anyone in. This endless cycle went on for months. Then Ireland happened where Feldt found herself roomed with the man who looked identical to her first love and who at the same time she greatly disliked.
"Feldt," Lyle said softly and brushed the stray tear away with his thumb as he leaned closer, "Why are you doing this to me?"
The pink haired girl's lips parted slightly as she found herself inches from Lyle's face. His blue eyes were unblinking and they stared at her sadly. He didn't move his hand and continued to trace his thumb back and forth over her cheek.
"Lyle… I-" she started and he cut her off by pulling his hand away.
He turned away from her with a scowl, "I'm not taking my teammate's woman. You're with Setsuna now, act like it. You shouldn't be showing up in another man's bedroom unannounced. How would you feel if he did that to you?"
"He's probably in Marina Ismail's room right now," Feldt shot back, suddenly feeling angry.
Lyle's eyebrows shot up, "What?"
Feldt stood up, "Nothing feels right."
She started walking toward the door and Lyle grabbed her wrist, "What are you trying to say?"
The systems engineer looked over her shoulder with a furrowed brow, "I just told you, nothing has felt right, since…" she trailed off.
Lyle's eyes widened, "Feldt?"
She yanked her wrist out of his hand, "You're right, I should go. It was a mistake to come here."
Then she was gone, leaving the Irishman standing in a stunned silence. He stared at the door and his eyes went to his bed where the sheets were still rumpled.
"What the hell is going on?" he mumbled.
…
Days passed and Setsuna returned from his mission. Feldt latched onto him as soon as he was back. She felt overwhelming guilt about going to see Lyle and thought that if she gave Setsuna extra attention it would make her feel better, but it didn't. Lyle glared at them from a distance in the mess hall and when they were on the bridge together. He felt sick when he would see them go into the same room for bed at night.
"A picture would last longer."
Lyle jerked his head to see Tieria staring at him with narrowed crimson eyes.
"I thought that was a fling, could it be that's what you intended, but your emotions got the best of you and you realize it was more?" the innovator asked.
"Aren't you clever?" Lyle said dryly.
"Her emotions got the best of her too," Tieria remarked.
"What do you mean?"
"Her relationship with Setsuna leaves much to be desired," Tieria replied with a shrug.
"She has the guy she's always wanted, what more could she want?" Lyle asked and glanced down the hall to make sure no one was eavesdropping on them.
Tieria rolled his eyes, "I'm not playing this middle school love game, figure it out yourselves."
"Hey! Feldt's older than a middle schooler and so am I," Lyle joked.
"Not much, but clearly she prefers someone with more life experience, even if he acts like a child," Tieria spoke and then without another word walked down the hall around the corner.
…..
"Feldt, what are you doing?"
She was straddling the Krugis man and wearing a long t-shirt without panties underneath. The room was dark and the pair had just gone to bed. Her guilt had grown every day since he had returned from his mission and she wanted to feel close to him. Doubt was growing inside her and she was beginning to question how she felt multiple times a day. Did she really love him? Why did she feel sick all the time when she thought about their relationship and instantly was filled with guilt. She began rocking her hips on his and leaned down to kiss him. He turned his head and let out a tired sigh.
"Not tonight."
"Setsuna?" she questioned, feeling sick to her stomach as he grabbed her by her hips to push her off.
"Just go, I've got a lot on my mind," he said quietly.
Feldt gulped and got out of bed quickly, "Are you sure? We can talk about it."
"Another time," he replied.
Feldt looked at the clock and saw it was after midnight and she grabbed her clothes quickly. Her room was a little ways down the hall and she left Setsuna's room with watery eyes and a sniff. She tip-toed barefoot quietly down the corridor until she made it to her room. She typed her keycode in and the door opened just as she saw a figure out of the corner of her eye. Her stomach instantly felt nauseated all over again.
"You're up late and why are you wandering around dressed like that?"
"I'm going to bed," she snapped, not wanting to elaborate.
Lyle leaned against the wall, "I was just finishing up a nightcap drink, me too."
Feldt fumbled with the clothes in her hand and gasped when she dropped her pants. She bent down quickly to pick them up before standing straight up as quickly as she could when she realized her mistake.
"Whoa, where the heck were you? That's pretty bold to wander around the halls without underwear, Feldt," Lyle chuckled, "Don't tell me Setsuna kicked you out."
"Go back to your room!" Feldt shouted with new tears forming in her eyes.
The humor dropped from Lyle's face as he realized something had really upset the girl and he watched as she went into her room and the door closed in his face. He stared at it for a few moments before continuing on his way to his own room. He clenched his jaw and suddenly felt extremely angry. He felt the urge to go to Setsuna and find out what he did to hurt Feldt. He squeezed his gloved fists fightly and took a deep breath to calm himself.
"It's not worth it," he muttered and entered his own room to go to bed.
…
"We need to prepare to go back to space," Sumeragi said on the bridge as she glanced from Feldt to Lasse and then Tieria.
Tieria sighed, "Finally."
Feldt nodded and began working diligently at her workstation to prepare the Ptolemey's system to pass through the atmosphere. She barely blinked as numbers and words rolled in front of her eyes and she typed quickly. She paused when an alarm started beeping and multiple mobile suits appeared on her map.
"Seven enemy machines just appeared!" she exclaimed and Tieria was immediately out the door; headed for Seravee.
"All Gundam meisters are to head to their machines, multiple enemies are approaching," Sumeragi said in the intercom on the computer system that was broadcast over the entire ship.
"They're firing missiles at us!" Feldt said loudly.
Lasse gripped the steering wheel of the ship tightly and Sumeragi spoke clearly, "Deploy the GN field and launch Seravee and Arios to confront the enemy. Cheridum and Double 0 will deploy next and stay nearby to protect the Ptolemaios."
"Rodger," Feldt and Mileina nodded and started typing on their keyboards swiftly to deploy the shield and prepare to launch the Gundams.
"Launching Seravee, you have control," Mileina said with a smile, "Good luck and stay safe today."
"Rodger, Gundam Seravee, Tieria Erde, launching," Tieria's crisp voice said.
Feldt readied the next container and the hatch opened, "Arios, prepare to launch."
"Rodger," Allelujah stated.
Marie entered the room and sat down next to Lasse, "Be safe Allelujah," she spoke to him.
Feldt smiled at the gentleness in her voice, those two cared for each other so much. She wished she had that kind of relationship with someone. Guilt washed over her again.
Mileina grinned at the exchange, "I knew from the beginning my women's intuition was correct. They're so cute!"
"Setsuna, prepare to launch in Double 0," Feldt said mechanically with a knot in her belly.
"Setsuna F. Seiei, Double 0, launching."
"Cheridum is next, prepare to launch," Feldt said as she prepared to open the final container hatch.
"Cheridum, Lockon Stratos and Haro, ready for launch," Lyle said with an air of confidence.
After all mobile suits had launched Feldt repeated the assignments from Sumeragi to the meisters who expressed understanding. A stray missile hit the Ptolemy and the ship rocked with impact. Mileina yelped and Lasse growled as he continued to try to steer the ship to evade the attacks. Marie sat next to him with a frown and helped with the ship steering at times so Lasse could concentrate on defensive fire. Allelujah had made everyone promise to not have Marie involved in fighting so she stuck with assisting with cooking, maintenance and other things around the Ptolemy.
"Two of the enemy mobile suits have broken through," Feldt remarked as she watched her map with enemy machines moving toward them quickly.
"Double 0 and Cheridum, defend the ship!" Sumeragi ordered and both pilots acknowledged her before engaging.
Feldt watched nervously from the monitors showing the battle to her map on the computer screen. She gasped as one of the enemy machines broke past Double 0 while the other attacked it and raced toward the Ptolemy, starting to fire. Immediately she saw Cheridum's back in front of the windows and explosions all around it.
"Lyle!" Feldt exclaimed as her computer registered significant damage to Cheridum.
Double 0 raced into the fray and activated Trans-AM to make quick work of the remaining mobile suits.
"Cheridum damaged, Cheridum damaged!" Haro's voice chirped over the microphone.
"All Gundams get back on the ship and Lasse find a place for us to lay low," Sumeragi said with a worried frown.
Feldt could barely stay in her seat and worked on docking for the returning mobile suits. Everything was in a haze and she was worried sick about Lyle. This was reminiscent of what happened with Neil and she needed to make sure he was ok.
"All Gundams have returned," she stated.
Sumeragi nodded and her eyebrows shot up as Feldt bolted from her chair out the door.
"What was that about?" Sumeragi asked.
"Probably checking in on her man," Lasse said with a laugh.
"Setsuna?" Sumeragi questioned.
"I don't think so," Marie said with a puzzled expression and then smiled knowingly.
….
"Lockon hurt, Lockon hurt!" Haro chirped from his station inside Cheridum.
"Shut up!" Lyle snapped at the yellow ball as he winced.
Cheridum was docked and Lyle pressed the button to open the hatch to his cockpit. The door swung open and he gripped his pilot seat with a growl as his right side stung with a sharp pain. He inhaled sharply which caused even more pain and he hissed. His entire body tensed and he froze, clenching his jaw tightly.
"Lockon!"
The Irish meister glanced up to see Setsuna climbing into the cockpit with a worried expression.
"That's not a good look for you. Don't freak out, I'm still alive," Lyle ground out.
"Let's get you to the healing container so you can get treatment," Setsuna said and reached out to help him.
"Lockon!"
"Good grief," he sighed as Tieria and Allelujah both appeared behind Setsuna and were leaning into his cockpit as well.
"Are you alright?" Allelujah asked.
"How were you injured?" Tieria questioned.
Lyle scowled, "Everyone get out. I'm fine, really."
He knew the reason they were acting this way was because of what happened with his brother. The last time Lockon Stratos' gundam returned to Ptolemy damaged, his brother was killed. Setsuna had looked up to Neil as a sort of older brother figure and Tieria blamed himself for Neil's death.
"Lyle!"
His eyebrows shot up and he stared at the three men in front of him. The feminine voice clearly shouted out from below on the hangar floor and it sounded extremely worried. He immediately continued to try and pull himself up and the three meisters crowded in the front of his cockpit tried to help him.
Feldt stood on the hangar floor staring up at Cheridum which had multiple damaged areas. Ian stepped up next to the systems engineer and huffed.
"What a mess," he groaned.
Haros appeared around them and he motioned at Cheridum, "Get to work on damage repair."
"Rodger, rodger!" they chirped and flew off toward the machine.
Feldt's eyes widened as she saw Setsuna and Allelujah helping Lyle out of the cockpit. She waited with baited breath as they helped carry him with his arms wrapped around their shoulders. She ran up to them when they finally reached the ground floor.
"Lyle!" She exclaimed with worried eyes.
"I'm fine," he rolled his eyes and refused to look at her.
"He's not," Allelujah huffed, "Let's get him to the infirmary."
Feldt followed them as they helped the Irish meister out of the hangar and down the halls. She couldn't stand the thought of anyone on the ship being hurt. They arrived in the infirmary and Setsuna opened one of the healing capsules.
"Get in," he stated, not asking.
Lyle scoffed, "Once I get in I can't get out until my treatment is finished. What if an enemy attacks?"
Allelujah sighed, "This sounds painfully familiar."
"Please Lyle," Feldt begged as she watched him wince with each movement.
The Irishman scowled, "I'm not doing it," and shoved the two other meisters away.
He choked out from the pain and his gloved hand went to his chest and he inhaled sharply. He started coughing uncontrollably and glanced down to see blood covering his palm.
"Lyle!" Feldt exclaimed and reached out for him with terrified eyes.
He pushed her away with a growl and wiped his hand on his pants. Setsuna looked at Allelujah and the super soldier glared harshly at the injured man in front of him.
"You idiot, you already had a fractured rib and now you probably just punctured your lung!"
Feldt gasped and Allelujah grabbed Lyle strongly, easily overpowering him and throwing him in the healing capsule. He slammed the door shut and Feldt watched Lyle hit his fists on the glass of the capsule. Allelujah typed quickly on the computer as the man inside let out a few pained coughs.
"He'll need a couple days, but he'll be fine. I'm locking it so he can't get out," Allelujah said sternly, "We aren't having a repeat."
Lyle continued to struggle inside and Feldt watched him with sympathy. The two other meisters left once he was secure and Feldt sat silently next to him as he calmed down and sulked.
"I'd better get to bed. I'll check on you tomorrow," she said softly.
Lyle didn't say a word and watched her leave with a frown on his face. He shook his head, hating how he had fallen for this girl back when they took their trip and realizing his feelings for her had not gone away.
"Damn it!" he sputtered and hit the glass wall of the capsule with his gloved fist.
….
Feldt woke up early and quickly dressed so that she could make it to the medical room to check on Lyle. She hoped he had calmed down and wanted to make sure he was alright. She reached for the keypad on her door when there was a knock and her eyebrows shot up.
"Feldt."
Her heart started hammering in her chest and she recognized Setsuna's voice. She immediately opened her door and the Krugis meister frowned.
"What are you doing up so early?" he asked.
"I had to check on a couple things," she said quickly, not wanting to tell him where she was truly planning to go.
The two stared at each other for several silent moments before Feldt spoke awkwardly, "So what are you doing up so early?"
"I think we need to talk."
Feldt gulped and took a step backward into her room. Setsuna did not ask permission as he stepped in and the door closed behind him. He moved past her and sat down on her bed with a sigh.
"What's going on? Are you alright?" Feldt asked with concern and sat down next to him.
"I'm fine," he stated in a monotone fashion.
Feldt said nothing and waited for him to continue. She nervously fidgeted with her fingers and felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest. It was like she was being torn in half and taken two separate directions.
"I've tried to the best of my ability, but this thing we have… I don't think I can give you the relationship you need or the one you deserve," Setsuna finally spoke, making unwavering eye contact.
Feldt inhaled sharply and she had to look away. She was shocked when she didn't start crying and surprised she wasn't devastated. The guilty feeling she had harbored for days returned and a man in a green uniform flashed through her mind.
"But I don't want to give up."
The systems engineer blinked, "What?"
"I don't want to give up," Setsuna repeated as he stared at her intensely.
This was not going the way she expected. Feldt's mouth hung open and she didn't know what to say. Her eyes widened as Setsuna leaned in and his lips met hers in a needy kiss. They fell back on the bed together and he was immediately pulling her shirt off. Feldt couldn't believe this was happening, her mind was flashing back to the previous weeks of him being distracted and ignoring her. He threw her shirt across the room and his hands slid under her bra as she tried to push him away.
"Feldt?"
"I've been trying for weeks to give you all I have and to make this work. You kicked me out of your room the other night and I had to come back here walking through the halls in my pajamas. Why should you just get what you want when you immediately want it?" She said with tears in the corners of her eyes.
She stood up and grabbed her shirt off the floor, "Now it's my turn: not today, I've got a lot on my mind," she mimicked what he had said that night to her.
Setsuna's chestnut eyes widened and his frown deepened, "If that's what you want."
Feldt put her shirt on and opened her door, "I've got things to take care of."
She left the stunned meister sitting on her bed and he stared at the door several minutes after she left.
"Feldt Grace," he muttered and left the room a few moments later.
…..
"Let me out of this god damn thing," Lyle growled and Allelujah smiled sympathetically down at his fellow meister.
"Not yet, you're still recovering," Tieria said from next to the super soldier.
"Did you two come in here just to gawk at me? Come on," the Irishman rolled his eyes, "At least give me a pretty girl to look at."
The door to the medical wing opened and Feldt walked in the door. Allelujah nodded at her and stood up with a smile.
"Speak and you shall receive," Tieria said sarcastically and followed Allelujah out the door.
Lyle watched the two of them leave and his eyes switched focus to the younger girl staring down at him with a soft expression.
"How are you feeling?" she asked quietly.
"I'm fine and I want them to let me out," he replied shortly.
"You still have another 12-14 hours in there until the treatment is complete," Feldt told him, "Just rest."
Lyle watched her carefully and noted the sadness in her green eyes. She looked downcast and didn't appear to be herself. He struggled to know if he should ask her what was going on. Especially after finding her in the hall that one night in a t-shirt and underwear trying to get back into her own room.
"I just wanted to check on you, I better check in with Miss Sumeragi," Feldt said and started to turn to leave.
"Feldt, wait," Lyle said and the girl paused.
"Did something happen?"
"What do you mean?"
Lyle narrowed his eyes, "I'm not blind. Did something happen with Setsuna?"
Feldt's eyes shot to the wall and she avoided looking at the man in the glass capsule in front of her. She bit her lip and fidgeted with her hands uncomfortably. How was she supposed to talk about her problems when someone who was directly involved in them was asking her about them?
"We're having a rough patch," Feldt said quietly, continuing to avoid eye contact.
She remained in the room a few more moments in awkward silence before getting up and exiting quickly. Lyle sighed as he saw the door at the other end of the room close. He shook his head and laid back down to try and nap so time would pass more quickly.