Good morning! I know I never had a set time for posting these chapters, but it's just such a nice way to start my day so it makes me really happy to say that. Today's also the first day this week I haven't woken up with horrific allergy fatigue and brain fog. Anyone else getting royally thrashed by tree jizz this year? You have my sympathy!

Anyway, this chapter. Firstly, this is IMPORTANT so I want to get it out there now:

CONTENT WARNING for self-harm. I know it's in the tags but I don't care, I'm saying it here anyway. Take care of yourselves, okay? Okay.

Also I'm so sorry about the text messaging formatting, for some reason doesn't allow you to have text begin from the right. So, center it is! Lord...

Now, everything else! More exposition, more ground work laying, more glorious snark from Levi... I'll let it speak for itself. Now, something I'd like to bring up: When I was reading and watching Attack On Titan, it took me a long time to get to now Eren. He's hard to get to know generally but also he makes the process as unappealing as possible. Once I did it was completely worth it, but I don't think I fully appreciated how incredible a character he is until I started writing about him. He's one of those characters who will let you write about him doing ANYTHING, like, dude does not give a FUCK and has no shame, so you can write these like... viscerally intimate scenes about him and he doesn't care. Very, VERY few characters let you do that even if they trust you implicitly, so this is rare and it's special and I want it recognized.

Some characters you know in your head, some you know in your heart, but some, like Eren, you know in your guts, if you're lucky.

Eren is the best muse ever, is where I'm going with this. And speaking of, FOR THE VIBES! Listen to Care More by The Devil Wears Prada (who I'm actually seeing live in two weeks AHHH).

All right we're good, enjoy chapter 3!

Hours later, Eren stood in the middle of Zeke's empty apartment, looking around with his mouth slightly open. The late afternoon sun and a fresh breeze filtered through the spotless open windows, mingling with the smell of enzyme cleaner and detergent. The floors, walls and surfaces were all gleaming as if the whole place had been newly renovated. It was amazing, truly, but also slightly eerie.

Along with all the squalor, any and all traces of Zeke had been scrubbed away or packed into garbage bags and biohazard containers. Aside from his body of course, which was presumably still at the morgue getting dissected for answers. Eren wondered if he died, would he also be washed away like this? He recalled his bedroom as he'd seen it the night before in the throes of his insomnia, closing in and painfully familiar, and tried to imagine it empty. All his stuff gone, scrubbed and bagged and shoveled away. He imagined Armin standing in the center of the empty room, Mikasa by the door, and Zeke's apartment swam before him. Fortunately, before it could start to close in,

"You okay?" came Levi's voice from behind him. Just like that morning, the spinning stopped as abruptly and completely as if someone had slammed on the brakes. Eren turned and found Levi leaning against the doorway, mask and gloves off and Tychem suit unzipped to the waist.

Erwin and Hange had gone to make sure the skip got picked up okay, but Levi had remained in the apartment because he didn't feel good about leaving Eren there by himself. Seeing everything clean and empty was always so final, and therefore usually the moment people felt whatever they were going to feel. Sure enough, as Levi stared into Eren's eyes, a fire blazed suddenly behind them, and he knew again that sensation of being drawn in. However, all Eren said was,

"Yeah, I'm okay." A moment passed in silence, and even though it was easier being here with Levi, he didn't trust the walls not to close in again. "Let's just go back outside." Levi nodded, and they left the apartment together.

The skip had been taken away, and Grisha was parking his car in its place. Eren caught Levi's eye, and Levi gave him an "it can't be helped" sort of look before joining Erwin and Hange, who were already back in civilian dress, by the van. He could still feel Eren's gaze on the back of his neck as Grisha got out of the car and narrowed his eyes at the row house as though he could x-ray it. Levi rolled his eyes at Hange, who smirked back discreetly. People always doubted the professionals they'd hired regardless of the industry. Fortunately, Erwin stepped forward at once to address Grisha, but Eren's relentless staring as Levi unzipped his Tychem suit was far louder than the conversation. He looked over his shoulder and caught Eren's eye again, but he continued to watch him shamelessly.

"Eren." Grisha's voice cut through their eye contact like a knife.

"What?"

"Stay put while I go look inside." Eren replied with an insolent stare but did as he was told, and Grisha and Erwin walked side by side into the rowhouse, Hange behind them with one last glance at Levi over their shoulder.

"Fuck off," Levi muttered, though of course they couldn't hear him.

"What?" asked Eren, coming as close as he dared the moment they were alone.

"Nothing," sighed Levi, scrunching up the Tychem suit and tossing it into another container marked with the biohazard symbol.

"Are those things hot?" asked Eren.

"Yeah," Levi replied, running his fingers through his hair. "Not as bad as the heavier ones, but at least those are reusable." Eren smiled his close lipped smile as Levi shut the container and faced him, preparing to be interrogated further.

"Where are you taking all this stuff?" Eren gestured at the biohazard bags and containers now stacked neatly in the back of the van.

"Biohazard waste disposal place in Jersey. The traffic will probably be a pain in the ass right now, though." Eren mulled this over, and Levi noticed again the color of his eyes in the afternoon sunlight, his pronounced Cupid's bow, his broad shoulders. "You still want a story?" he asked, his stomach twisting, and Eren's eyes widened eagerly.

"Yeah!" Levi sighed, feeling another intense pull of Eren's energy, and wondered suddenly if this was actually something he wanted to take on. Eren must have noticed his sudden hesitation, because he bit his lip and his eyebrows knitted together. "What?" There was a noise from inside the row house, and, terrified that his chance at more of Levi was slipping away, Eren snatched his cellphone out of his pocket. "Or you could just text me," he said, creating a new contact and thrusting his phone at Levi, whose narrowed eyes darted between it and Eren's face.

"What?"

"Levi-" Eren shivered a little as he said his name, but pressed on determinedly, "I think what you do is really interesting, and, I dunno, I wanna hear more from you." He swallowed, thinking he could listen to Levi say anything in that soft voice. "And yeah, maybe I do want some kind of career change." He put a delicate inflection on the last two words, and they both knew he wasn't talking about work.

Levi didn't reply at once. The little shiver and swallow were definitely not lost on him, but what made his stomach hitch was that, even through his breathless tone, even through his exhaustion, Eren meant everything he said as far as he understood it. As they stared at each other, Levi felt yet again the sensation of being pulled in, the hot fire drawing him closer. He knew intuitively that under the right conditions it would be like a wildfire gone unchecked, needing something, anything, to quench it, and fuck if that didn't tug at his heart.

A minute passed in tense, anticipatory silence until, with a heavy sigh, Levi took the phone. Eren's chest flooded with relief as he watched Levi's thumbs fly back and forth across the touch screen. "Don't think about it too much," Levi advised him as he handed the phone back. Eren smiled, clearly pleased with himself. "What color are your eyes?"

"Huh?" Eren was taken aback, too excited to have Levi's number to process other information, but then his brain caught up with him. "Uh, depends. They change in the light."

"Asshole," replied Levi. Eren laughed softly, and Levi's stomach hitched again. "Speaking of, you should text, I assume they're your friends, back. They're worried."

"Huh?" Eren looked down at his phone and saw messages from everyone. Mikasa must have told them, and he blushed. However, before he could say anything, Grisha, Hange and Erwin emerged from the apartment building followed by the super, who looked immensely relieved to see the back of them. Grisha unlocked the car and started the engine remotely.

"Eren, get in the car, I'll be there in a second."

"Good luck," Levi muttered out of the corner of his mouth. Heartened still further, Eren gave Levi another close lipped smile, then did as he was told without another word.

"Thank you all so much, really," Grisha continued, extending his hand to Erwin, Hange and Levi one more time.

"Absolutely," replied Erwin. "If there are any problems or there's anything else we can help with, don't hesitate to give us a call."

"I won't." He then handed the apartment keys back to the super. "I'm so sorry for all the trouble." The man just shook his head.

"You took care of it; it's not trouble no more. Sorry for your loss." Something tightened in Grisha's expression, but he just nodded and headed back towards the car. The four of them watched him speed away, then the super addressed Erwin, "I want a business card in case this happens again."

"Certainly." Erwin hurried to the van to retrieve one from the glove compartment.

"Thanks," said the super, and he went back into the row house for the last time.

For a minute, Erwin, Levi and Hange remained still and silent, but then, with the sensation of stepping off stage, finally looked at each other.

"Oof!" cried Hange, throwing their arms above their head and spinning around on the spot.

"Fuck me," said Levi, running his fingers through his hair.

"Indeed," said Erwin, and all three of them got back into the van.

Erwin was driving, as always, while Levi rode shotgun and Hange sat in the back, arms draped over the two front seats and hanging (rather unsafely despite the seatbelt) between them. Finally out of the professional setting, thoughts flowed freely through their minds and out of their mouths. Some were kind, some were hostile, others just ugly, but the decompression and complaining after a job was necessary to maintain everyone's sanity.

"We say it to each other so we don't say it to clients, it's the same with every job," Erwin had told Levi, right after he'd started working for him. "It just seems worse because we're talking about someone who's died rather than, you know, someone being rude over getting a latte hot instead of iced."

"People are always way nicer after they're dead anyway," Hange had added, wisely.

Levi hadn't yet trusted Hange enough to inform them that where he came from that wasn't the case. People in the circles he'd grown up in died because they brought it upon themselves. Sympathy, dignity and honor in death weren't things Levi understood until he met Erwin. His mother and Kenny certainly hadn't taught him that.

He wondered suddenly if Eren's older brother would become someone worth remembering. 'They'd do better to look after Eren,' thought Levi, and though his heart gave a little squeeze at that, he didn't check his phone for the message he was sure was there.

The moment he was back in the car, Eren texted Levi,

what's the craziest thing you've seen recently?

then lay back against the passenger's seat and closed his eyes, the air conditioning pleasant on his face. Just a little longer and he'd be home, where he could take the longest shower ever and then text Levi until he fell asleep. Fuck that sounded good.

His father yanked open the car door, jerking him out of the glorious fantasy. "They did a very good job," he said at once. Eren didn't reply. "I'm glad there aren't any damages we can be charged for. Zeke had no living will of any kind because of course he didn't, but-" Eren just looked down at his phone, but Grisha seemed content to talk to himself and didn't notice. His driving wasn't as sickening as it had been that morning, so Eren read the messages from his friends. Everyone was concerned and sympathetic, asking how he was feeling, if there was anything they could do. Eren flushed uncomfortably, but, thinking of what Levi had said, replied to everyone, starting with Armin.

Mikasa told me about Zeke, I'm so sorry!

Are you okay?

thanks but I'm fine

don't worry about it

Grisha's pissed tho so I dunno

Then to Jean, Connie, Marco, Ymir and Sasha,

I'm fine don't worry about it

and, thinking again of Levi,

thanks

Finally, he texted Historia,

I'm okay thanks

Grisha's mad I think

Immediately the chat bubbles appeared.

Ohhh yeah cue all the conflicted feelings

I hope he doesn't take it out on you too hard, though…

Eren cast a sideways look at his father, who was still talking animatedly about the many ways Zeke drove him crazy, even dead.

yeah me too

Unfortunately, Eren heard nothing from Levi and Grisha didn't stop talking the entire car ride, so by the time they parked outside the townhouse, Eren's mind and heart were both racing and he was bouncing his leg in agitation. The moment his father shut off the engine, Eren unbuckled his seatbelt, sprang from the car and sprinted to the front door, which he opened with his own key. He stepped out of his shoes, trying to be as quiet as possible to avoid everyone, but then his mother appeared from the kitchen.

"There you are," she said, looking him up and down with narrowed eyes. "You look sick, are you feeling okay?" Eren glared back at her, his mind spinning and frustration simmering in his stomach.

"Aside from the fact that I'm tired as fuck and got dragged around all day to deal with my dead brother's bullshit? I feel totally fine," he snapped, and his mother rolled her eyes.

"Don't take that tone with me," she shot back. "You can nap before dinner. Shower first though, you look a mess."

"Cleaning up death will do that," he reminded her in an undertone as he slouched up the stairs, gripping the banister to steady himself. However, halfway up he heard Mikasa open her door and call his name softly, and his vision blurred dizzily. He ignored her, stomped up the rest of the stairs and into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

Sunlight was pouring through the window, reflecting off the clean surfaces, and Eren immediately yanked the curtains closed, plunging the room into shadow. However, his vision was still blurry and way too bright, like it had a lens flare over it.

He closed his eyes and took deep breaths, trying to steady his heart and mind, but it was no good. As he leaned against the closed door he felt everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours roll over him like a tidal wave. He saw Mikasa and Armin on the beach at dawn, Zeke's body in the morgue, the fat bodega cat, Levi's eyes and the back of his neck, his father's quiet fury and his mother's loud concern, and felt the walls of the bathroom begin to close in around him.

He bit down hard on the back of his hand against the cry of frustration clawing its way up his throat, and the pain forced his thoughts to still in its narrow, immediate focus. He shuddered, blinked, and tears slid down his face, cutting through the heat, salt and dirt that clung to his skin. He gave a little shuddering moan around his hand, moved the flesh between his teeth and sucked his skin harder, feeling capillaries burst under the pressure.

He took shuddering breath after shuddering breath through his nose, his exhales cool against his knuckles, until he got his wits about him. With his free hand, he wiped his tears away and untied his hair, though as it fell about his face he caught a whiff of Zeke's apartment and his mouth watered nauseatingly. He took his hand out of his mouth, spat into the sink then turned on the shower and undressed as fast as he could. The moment he stepped under the water, he seized the soap and began to scrub himself clean, his nails occasionally catching his skin, though it only brought more relief.

When he finally felt clean enough, Eren shut off the water, threw a towel around his waist, scooped up his clothes and carried them back to his room. He slammed the door shut as loud as he could, though he doubted everyone else in the house would understand the unspoken "Do Not Disturb" of the noise. He tossed his phone onto his unmade bed and his dirty clothes into the hamper across the room, then dried off and put on a clean t-shirt and underwear. He fell face first into bed, then groped for his phone to check it one more time. No messages from Levi yet, so he put on music and closed his eyes, body heavy against the mattress, nose full of the smell of his pillows and hair wet against the back of his neck.

Levi didn't feel like making the trip to Jersey with Erwin and Hange, so they dropped him off at his building on Delancey Street in the early evening. It was a new, almost ostentatiously nice building, and Levi felt a surge of guilt for living in it every time he walked through the chrome and marble lobby with an actual doorman, but forgot it when he took an elevator up to his floor where all the lights worked and there wasn't dust and detritus in every corner. At the end of the carpeted hallway, Levi unlocked his door onto his combined living room and kitchen.

Everything was modern, smooth lines, spotlessly clean and painted soothing colors. The central air kept the whole apartment a reasonable temperature, but when it was warm he left his kitchen windows cracked for the benefit of the plants he kept there. He stepped out of his shoes and turned on the lights, and as much as he wanted to go shower immediately, he checked on them first. He'd never had plants before moving into this apartment, but he'd gotten them on a whim at the Union Square Farmer's Market a few springs ago after asking the young woman working for something "hard to kill" and had never regretted anything less. He smiled as he breathed in the lavender, mint and rosemary and gave each some water. He then connected his phone to the Bluetooth speakers recessed into his walls and ceiling, and relaxed still further as music began to play softly throughout the apartment. Like the plants, it had never occurred to him to want something like that before. "Oh we aren't that old!" Hange had teased when he'd expressed this, and he'd grabbed the back of their head and shoved them forward. It wasn't an age thing, it was an "I'd never thought I'd be in this position" thing.

He checked his messages, and noticed a text from a 917 number he didn't recognize. His heart skipped in his chest as he opened it.

what's the craziest thing you've seen recently?

Levi saw the time and snorted.

'So fucking impatient,' he thought, imagining Eren sending the message from the front seat of his father's car, his eyes wide and staring, his wildfire energy burning brighter with curiosity. 'Erwin and Hange felt it too,' he thought, though it wasn't surprising. Erwin was always good at spotting stuff like that, at picking up strays before they really hurt themselves. Levi and Hange, themselves, for example.

Levi pressed the heel of his hand between his eyes, then set his phone down on the kitchen counter to go shower.

Eren spent the next hour halfway between sleeping and waking: one second he'd be aware he was in his bed, listening to music, then another he'd be in some highly colored dream with Zeke's dead face swimming in and out of it, but he knew it was a dream, so that must mean he was awake, but if he were really awake then he'd be able to move his arms and legs, right?

A knock on his bedroom door finally brought this to an end, and he shuddered back to full alertness. Full alertness and the same exhaustion as before, but now with his t-shirt sticking to his sweaty back despite the air conditioning. Without opening his eyes, he moaned and turned his head the other way. There was another knock on the door, and he screwed up his eyes, hoping whoever it was would just leave him alone. Unfortunately, the door creaked open.

"Eren?" came Mikasa's soft voice from the doorway. Eren said nothing. "Dinner's ready." Again, Eren said nothing. "You should come down and eat something." Still Eren said nothing, praying she'd go away. However, she crossed the room and sat down on the edge of his bed. Eren stiffened and remained facing away from her. "Eren, are you okay?" Mikasa gently placed her hand on the back of his shoulder, and Eren shuddered and pulled away.

"I'm fine," he groaned.

"Do you have a fever?" she asked, and finally Eren rolled over to face her but remained out of her reach. She actually looked well rested and was dressed in running clothes.

"No, I'm just fucking tired," he replied, the snap in his voice dulled by said tiredness. Mikasa tilted her head to the side, a strand of her dark hair falling in front of her face.

"I know," she replied. "I told Grisha and Carla to let you sleep, but…" Eren bit down on the inside of his lip, and they stared at each other for a moment, the only sound the whirring of the air conditioner. He had no idea if she was telling the truth or not, but it did nothing to soften him towards her. "Come eat something," said Mikasa, encouragingly. Eren sighed yet again and reached for his phone. His eyes widened and he took a sharp breath in at a text from Levi. He rolled over and sat up at once.

Crazy how? That's such a crude question

Eren heard the reply in Levi's smooth voice, and immediately felt better in spite of himself. "Who are you texting?" asked Mikasa, but Eren ignored her and sent the reply. He didn't feel hungry at all, but he could definitely get through dinner if he could text Levi the entire time.

"Let's just get this over with," he said, heaving himself out of bed and pulling on sweatpants before leading Mikasa out of the room.

Clean from the shower and in fresh clothes, Levi filled his electric kettle and set it to the specific temperature required for his current favorite tea. Hange had given him the kettle for his birthday a few years ago, then had embarked on a long explanation about how different temperatures were better for different teas. "God you're such a fucking nerd," Levi had told them, though he was very grateful.

He measured tea leaves into a metal infuser and placed it in a mug Erwin had given him for a different birthday. It pictured an illustrated black cat that everyone at work insisted looked like Levi, and he had to admit they had a point.

After a minute or so, the kettle came to a boil and Levi poured the hot water over the leaves, watching them swirl and expand and fill the room with a warm, smoky aroma. The tea was a lapsang from a shop on Avenue B, a newer place that Erwin had discovered. Levi had thought it pretentious when he'd first taken him there, until he'd seen the selection.

He set a timer on his phone just as he received a reply from Eren. He thought of his first text, and was sure by "craziest" he meant "bloodiest," or "the most obviously decomposed," because that was what most people meant when they asked that. Regardless, Levi wanted Eren to say it himself.

I guess so

what was the most blood you've ever seen?

Levi rolled his eyes, but, having got what he wanted,

That's how you define crazy, is it?

Chat bubbles appeared at once.

sure

what was the most blood you've ever seen tho?

Levi thought for a moment. It had been a while since he'd seen anything really horrifying… Wait no, there was,

probably this person who bled out through their carotid artery

there was blood all over the walls and ceiling

that shouldn't be surprising though

pre-med major

Levi could recall the scene exactly, and was surprised it hadn't occurred to him immediately. He and Erwin had walked into the elderly couple's Chelsea apartment and, even though they'd been briefed, the initial shock was visceral and unavoidable. "Oh dear," said Erwin, looking around sadly.

The room was sprayed with blood, the bed and wall behind it spattered like some grotesque abstract painting. Even the ceiling was misted red and pink. Levi's first thought was sympathy for the poor victim's wife, sleeping soundly beside him only to be woken up this way; his second was that they needed to take care of the soaked through mattress right away in case any fluids were still leaking and his third thought was gratitude for Erwin always taking calls. When he didn't hear how unhinged or fucked up he had to be to do this job, Levi heard he must need to be brave or tough. Although this was true for the hard labor his job required, talking to grief stricken, sometimes traumatized, people was far more labor intensive, and Levi had always thought Erwin the real brave one for doing it.

He finished sending the description to Eren just as the timer went off. He carefully removed the infuser and picked up the mug, inhaling the steam with satisfaction, and carried it and his phone into his living room.

Eren read the message discreetly under the dining table, but his shock must have shown on his face because, "I told you not to text at the table!"

"I was reading something, not texting," Eren snapped back, glaring at his mother across the table. She opened her mouth to reply, but, "My friends are all checking up on me, you know, considering-"

"Eren," said Mikasa, warningly, and their parents exchanged a look and an eye roll. Eren stabbed resentfully at the food he wasn't remotely hungry for. Having dinner like this was another show of family togetherness that Eren thought was completely fucking stupid already, but with his sleep being so unreliable it felt especially invasive.

"Armin called us today, now you mention it," said Carla, fondly. "How is he? He hasn't been over in a while."

"I see him at school, but he's been busy with his summer classes and work study," supplied Mikasa.

"Work study?"

"At Bobst."

"He's a biology major, right?" asked Grisha.

"Yes," replied Mikasa, then, before Grisha could ask, "he wants to go to grad school for marine biology, though." Grisha nodded approvingly, and Eren looked away pointedly from his side eye.

"Do you think he'll stay in New York for grad school?" asked Carla. Mikasa caught Eren's eye, clearly expecting him to answer, though why the fuck would he know that?

"Going down South or out West would probably make more sense given what he wants to study," said Grisha, decisively, and Eren felt his chest constrict painfully and immediately reached for his phone while his parents and sister discussed his best friend's future without him.

how the fuck did that happen?

Thankfully, chat bubbles appeared at once, and Eren reread Levi's other messages while he waited, trying to picture the scene again, to hear Levi describe it in his soothing voice.

paramedics said he had cancer in his neck and the artery ruptured

Eren's free hand snapped to his own neck and he felt his quickening pulse in his palm. What would it feel like to have it betray him that way? Would it hurt? Would it be over quickly? How would his own walls look in the aftermath? He closed his eyes and tried to picture it, but-

"Eren? Are you feeling okay?" his mother asked, more impatient than concerned.

"What? Yeah." He took a few bites of his dinner for show, then, when everyone was reabsorbed in conversation,

holy shit

"He doesn't want to hear about grad school, I suppose," said his father, and Eren didn't bother to hide his eye roll.

"Grisha," Carla reproached. Eren just stared harder at his phone, still acutely aware of his pulse, and imagined the familiar shapes of his bedroom splashed with blood.

Levi finished his tea and got up to boil more water, wondering where Eren was while having this conversation, what else he was up to.

was it hard to clean up?

Levi squinted across the room, trying to remember.

not with Hange's enzyme cleaner

He hesitated, then added,

we still had to be thorough and get rid of anything the blood had touched

which was a pain in the ass

As Levi sent the message, it occurred to him how unusual it was to be talking at length with someone he didn't work with about his job. Not that he kept what he did a secret, but usually people outside of his circle of friends and colleagues would be morbidly curious or put off immediately, both of which were annoying to deal with. Eren was obviously not put off, but Levi wouldn't call him morbidly curious either. He'd known his curiosity came from somewhere else the moment his first question wasn't "So how did you get into this?" As much as Levi understood the question, he absolutely despised it, and would usually refuse to answer. This put people off too, even though to Levi "I don't know you well enough to discuss this with you" was completely reasonable. It had been enough for Hange's nosy ass, after all. Indeed, it was one of the reasons he'd taken to them in the first place. Of course, they'd become close friends as Erwin had trained them, as they'd started doing jobs together, and eventually Levi had told them the story.

for sure

do you see a lot of decomposed bodies?

like today?

Eren's text brought Levi back to the present, and he removed the infuser from his mug and carried it back to the couch before answering.

Eren bounced his leg under the table in a fast, impatient rhythm, waiting for his parents to chill out, for Mikasa to stop staring at him, for Levi to text him back.

"I'm only pointing out that grades as an undergraduate don't guarantee anything. You said yourself that MCAT scores matter way more," said Carla, defensively.

"Tch," muttered Eren. His mother was happy to defend him in front of his father, then lay into him the moment they were alone. It had always been like that, but about grades specifically since he'd been like, twelve, which was stupid because Mikasa had been living with them for two years at that point and was a straight A student. They had her success to brag about, what did they need him for? Fortunately, before he could dwell too long on this, a lifeline appeared in another text from Levi. Another long text from Levi.

Very rarely, because here everyone's in apartments and smells travel fast

neighbors usually complain before anything can get too bad

Today was unusual, but not unheard of

"Right," Eren breathed, without really meaning to.

"What did you say, Eren?" Their parents stopped talking abruptly at Mikasa's question and suddenly all eyes were on Eren. He flushed, but stared determinedly back at Mikasa.

"Nothing," he replied, coldly.

"Don't start talking to yourself, I'm begging you," sighed Grisha, taking his glasses off and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I'll go talk to myself in my room if you want," he said, testily. What wouldn't he give to escape from the table, hide away from the bullshit and text Levi until he hopefully fell asleep. He glared at Mikasa for starting this, for waking him up and forcing him to come downstairs in the first place.

"It's your own fault you were up all night, stay put," snapped Grisha for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

"But it's your fault I was up all day," Eren reminded him, his voice rising.

"Eren, don't start," Grisha shot back.

"I didn't start shit!"

"Don't talk to your father like that!" Carla interjected. "Today's been hard for everyone, right? Calm down!"

"How do you know, you didn't have to clean up a fucking death scene!"

"Eren!"

"I told you to stay put, sit back down!" But Eren had had enough.

"I'm feeling sick, I don't want anymore!" He stormed from the table, leaving a ringing silence in his wake.

Back upstairs he wrenched his bedroom door open and slammed it shut as loud as he could behind him. He took a deep breath in through his nose and bit down on the hand not holding his phone, exhaling in a hard, muffled cry. Hot liquid splashed onto the back of his already bruised hand, and a vision of blood splattered walls, of a mattress soaked in foul fluids, of swarming flies, flashed before him, but then he realized he was only crying again. He bit harder into his hand, feeling the skin and muscle give and stretch until he finally tasted his own blood, just like that party, just like that fight at school, just like the countless other times that had left scars on his knuckles. He cried out and let go, staring at the red mark and surrounding skin shiny with saliva as the sting echoed through his body, slowing his heart and steadying his mind. He got into bed and wrapped himself around one of his pillows, still crying and gasping, but soothed and distracted. When he finally got his wits about him, he opened Levi's text with a sniff.

although there was one time we had this clean up on the Upper West Side, a townhouse split into four apartments

the top floor tenant had died, elderly, no family, kept to himself, and the landlady only found out what happened because the tenants below him complained about a weird smell but they were too fucking polite to say anything until it was unbearable

Eren sniffed again and wiped his eyes, his tears stinging the back of his hand and making him shiver.

that's fucking horrifying

Despite what Levi was describing, his heartbeat slowed still further as he again imagined Levi telling him the story, then again as the chat bubbles appeared almost at once. As he pictured Levi with his phone in his hand, he felt his mind slow down even more, containing everything.

cleaning took a while and there was so much bureaucratic bullshit

the fluids from the body leaked all the way into the subfloor and the walls were fucked so we had to bring in a contractor to deal with that

plus old buildings, codes, etc

Eren wiped the last of his tears away.

you guys must have all kinds of connects

Then, on a whim,

this is all really interesting

He placed his phone on the bed beside him and closed his eyes, figuring he'd feel the vibration. However, by the time Levi's reply came, Eren had finally fallen asleep.

yeah I've met a lot of interesting fucking people

Levi had been thinking of Erwin and Hange as he sent the text, both strange and fucked up just like him, though not nearly as "interesting" as the people he'd known growing up. He paused before replying to the second message, sure he detected at least some gratitude, and immediately felt curious.

He pictured Eren reading the messages, his eyes that "changed color depending on the light" widening as they moved over the screen.

what's so interesting?

His stomach twisted a little, and he got up to start making dinner. However, by the time he'd finished cooking, Eren still hadn't replied, and he only realized how genuinely curious he'd been about his response when he didn't get it. He assumed it was because he was asleep, though. He hoped it was because he was asleep.

Levi shook his head and began to eat.

Ugh...

Levi is so sweet with his plants, though!

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