(A/N: Warning, the following contains TFS references. You were warned. Edited and Finalized – 3/16/18)

Snippet 4

Genre: Humor/Horror

Pairs: Knightshade

Parody: DBZ

AU-Type: Canon-eqsue AU

Tag: Empowered!Salem, Unhinged!Salem

What if Salem Decided to Pull a Cell?/What if she was more like Cell?

Cinder Fall was simply a pawn for her mistress. Practically a patsy for Salem's goal, she was about to learn what that goal was. In fact, she, Mercury, and Emerald were at a sleepover with Teams RWBY and JNPR. They were all gathered in the AV Room flipping through television channels. Ozpin and Glynda were in the back row watching along. In fact, the group were watching a live action martial arts exhibition as two women were in an intense match.

"This match is ov…" One of the fighter said as light starts erupts from the ground. "Huh?"

The floor explodes and shows Salem rising up from below the instructor getting Ozpin to spit out his coffee and getting everyone's attention. Even Cinder was frightened by this. The martial artists fall to the floor as Salem floats up to the next floor.

"Nice ass!" One of the cameraman says lustfully.

"Quick, change the channel!" Ozpin yelled coming down to the front row with Glynda.

Ruby changed the channel to see Salem rising through a cooking channel, and then a soap opera. Ruby changed the channel only to see Team Four Star's Dragon Ball Z Abridged on.

"I love this show! Leave it here!" Nora cried out.

"Nora." Jaune said sternly.

"Oh fine." Nora pouted as Ruby changed the channel again.

It was on the news.

"And so, in closing, the White Fan….gahhh!" The news reporter as Salem rose up to have his neck in her grip.

She lifted the tubby man into the air.

"The following contains violence, coarse language and adult situations not suitable for minors. Viewer discretion is advised." Salem said snapping the reporter's neck on live TV.

"Damn!" Mercury said pitying the guy.

Cinder wanted to know what the hell was going on as this wasn't a part of Salem's plan at all. Cinder had a bad feeling about this.

"Ladies, gentlemen, boys and girls, and that technicolor rainbow in-between, I am Salem. You may remember me from all the Grimm attacks that I cause. Yes, I am the mistress all things Grimm. But that's not why I'm here. I'm here to make an announcement!" Salem said excitedly.

"What is it? Going to leave the planet and let us have peace?" Ozpin thought sarcastically.

"I will be leaving the planet with all the Grimm!" Salem remarked.

Ozpin spat out the coffee, Cinder face-faulted, and Ruby cheered.

"Woohoo!" Ruby cheered.

"After I blow up this planet." Salem said.

"Oh shit!" Half of the group said.

"Unless." Salem said as the world wheezes. "One of your young hunters and huntresses-in training can best me in one-on-one combat."

"So, anybody not from Team CDRL?" Nora sniped.

"They're not even here." Pyrrha said to the pancake lover.

"I am officially hosting a once-in-your-lifetime event! A tournament so grand, it will leave you breathless! I hereby dub it...the Grimm Games! Be part of the conversation on Twitter at #GrimmGames!" Salem said holding up a scroll.

"Son of a bitch is trending!" Ozpin said checking his scroll.

"For all of you familiar with your adorable little Vytal Festival, I'll be borrowing the rules. No brackets this time, however. Yours truly will be your only opponent. And much like Yang and Ruby's mothers, (winks) I will accept all comers." Salem said mirthfully.

Yang's eyes flickered red and Ruby's silver eyes seem to burn brighter. Cinder was panicking on the inside.

"This wasn't the plan!" She repeated in her thoughts.

"But before I make closing statements, I must thank Cinder Fall and Adam Taurus. Unknowingly, they gave me a power sweeter than the Maidens or the Relics could ever be. Thus, I no longer need them." Salem said as her eyes glowed red. "With this power, I could even torch the entire planet if I wanted."

Everyone turned to glare at Cinder who looked more and ready to shrink. Unknown to Cinder, Salem lied. Salem just wanted to make sure none of Cinder's "allies" was in no position to stop her.

"The location of this marvelous event will be at Vale's Beacon Academy. If you don't know where that is, you're an idiot. The games will start at noon two weeks from today. That should give you plenty of time to prepare. Or for those not participating, time to connect with loved ones, get your affairs in order, or maybe just kill your boss! Get a purge going! Live a little! Because in two weeks' time..." Salem said with chuckle. "Well, to give you an idea."

Raising her arm, a red energy sphere formed in her hand growing larger. Salem launched it tearing through the walls of building before blowing up a chunk of Atlas.

"So, keep that in mind, and I'll see you next Sunday! Also, feel free to pray to Oum..." Salem said with a smirk. "But spoilers-he won't be listening."

Salem flies out of the hole in the studio as the CRWBY look in shock and fear at the static in the TV.

"We're so screwed." Emerald remarked.

Ruby changed the channel to a porno channel to everyone's shock.

"She said one week! I'm using it!" Ruby said. "Everyone out, so I can lose my innocence!"

Blake dragged Jaune to an empty closest before they fiercely began kissing each other. Both did not want to die a virgin, of course. They were originally going to wait, but Salem triggered the heat of moment between them. Outside of the closest was Pyrrha who was listening in and enjoying herself. Jaune's grunts and Blake's moaning were loudly coming out of closest, and Pyrhha was wishing it was her in there.

"Maybe I should just ask Jaune to sleep with me…it is going to be the end of the world." Pyrhha thought lost in pleasuring herself.

Blake's mewls were slipping out as well. As for Cinder, she was crying her eyes out terrified at the fact Salem planned to destroy the planet and felt used. Adam had it worse as Sienna Khan mauled him to death. All over the world, everyone was panicking. Raven was drowning her sorrows at the nearest bar making a promise to visit Taiyang (for one last roll in the hay) and Yang (to apologize). Qrow and Winter were doing the latter seeing it was essentially the end of the world. Roman did not feel like robbing anything and Neo was drowning her own pain in ice cream. People realized the situation's bad when the White Fang put aside its crusade to join forces with everyone against Salem. But would it be enough? Only time will tell.

(A/N: I had to. Salem as Cell would be comedy gold. Plus, the idea of Cinder and the White Fang having to join forces with the heroes to stop her sounds intriguing.)