Understudy

Author: Cheryl W.

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Chapter 10: The Lost City

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Getting his first look at Atlantis from the viewport of the Daedalus, John didn't expect it to affect him like it did, to awe him…and to call to him. It was reminiscent of his first copter ride as a child, where he ached to grab the stick from the pilot and go higher and zigzag through the sky, for the ride to never end.

McKay joined him as the Daedalus began docking procedures.

"Awe-inspiring isn't it? Course it was a month before I got this view, until we learned there were ships here that we could use to fly above the city. We entered through the stargate and that was…even more remarkable because of the technology, the other worldly structures, not to mention the whole city was underwater at that point," Rodney reminisced.

"Guess that's where the legend comes from," John murmured, leaning forward so he could see the tops of the city's towers as the Daedalus glided by them. The ship gave a gentle shake as she touched ground and John nervously fisted his hands, knew everything would change, again, as soon as he left the Daedalus.

There truly was no going back now.

Sensing the man's unease, Rodney put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "You'll fit right in here, I promise. You'll like it."

John turned to McKay and sardonically drawled, "Thought you warned me 'here be dangers, enter at your own risk'".

Undeterred, McKay merely matched Sheppard's mocking tone. "Oh, that was good. But it would have been more impressive with a pirate's accent, an "ah matey" and if you were wearing an eye patch."

John smirked in spite of himself and followed McKay as he headed toward the hangar deck. Felt immeasurably better when he spotted Ronon and came to the man's side before the hangar door opened into his new "home."

They had a greeting party waiting for them as soon as they debarked. Ok the presentation wasn't for them but for Dr. Weir, as she was installed as the new leader of Atlantis. There were saluting and introductions from the people circling their entrance point. John stood back, waiting for the hoopla to die down, not wanting to be noticed, wanted to fly under the radar as much and as long as he could. Which lasted…oh five minutes.

Even if he hadn't heard the introductions made to Elizabeth, ('Dr. Weir' John irritably corrected himself, knew their chance encounter had made things seem familiar between them but he couldn't forget her position now, that he should never address her as anything but Dr. Weir here.) Right, so even if he hadn't heard the introductions, he knew the officer cutting through the debarking crew to confront him was Colonel Sumner by his rank insignia, the way the military officers saluted him as they scurried out of his way …and the righteous animosity blazing in his eyes as they seared into him as he drew closer.

John stiffened his stance and prepared for the onslaught.

Getting right up to John's face, Colonel Sumner growled, "So you're him, huh?" clearly not impressed with the reinstated Major.

John didn't salute, knew the Colonel would take it as salt in his festering wound of having to put up with him under his command. Choose to not react to the challenge, instead he held Sumner's gaze steadily and braced himself for what he knew was coming next.

Sumner jerked his head contemptuously to McKay and Ronon, who hadn't wisely abandoned his side but instead closed up ranks to be nearly shoulder to shoulder with him, and bit out, "Just because you look like someone they took a shine to from another universe, that doesn't make you him, worth their trust. Heck, I've seen my fair share of Elvis impersonators, don't make any of them the king."

John didn't want the Colonel to know the direct hit he had made with his assessment, even with his choice of comparison. That John knew he wasn't those other Johns, never would be, that Ronon and McKay were fooling themselves that he could ever be worthy of their trust. "Aw, comparing me with Elvis. Gotta say, I'm touched, Colonel Sumner," John drawled.

"Oh crap," McKay muttered under his breath at John's defiant snarky comeback.

Sumner closed in the meager space between them, so near that he and Sheppard were practically breathing the same air. He was obviously fighting the urge to grab the Major by the neck and squeeze, tightly. "I'm comparing you with a good man, not someone who got people dead because he thought he knew best. The other John Sheppards these two gentlemen knew, neither of them was callous with the lives of others, not like you are."

John had wanted someone to be honest with him, to stop seeing him in the shadow of the other Sheppards, to see him for what he was…but now he knew he hadn't been ready to get that wish granted. Having run away to Vegas and buried his past for years and now stripped from the rose colored glasses Ronon and McKay saw him with, he had forgotten what being hated felt like. The death threats and the beatings and the slap of one of the dead soldier's widows had landed when he tried to give her his condolences.

Protective instincts and fury vying for supremacy within him, Ronon gave an almost inhuman growl and went for Sumner. Rodney foolishly tried to block him but Ronon effortlessly shoved him away. Then it was John stepping into his path, putting a restraining hand on the Satedan's chest, their eyes clashing.

"It's Ok, Ronon. He's not wrong," John quietly pointed out.

"The hell he isn't," Ronon spit out, eyes boring roiling hatred into Sumner's.

Sumner came up behind John, spoke in the man's ear but his voice carried easily to Ronon and McKay. "Let me make myself clear, Major. You are NOT here by my choice."

John turned to face his superior, pulled on a goading smile. "Never would have guessed that, sir. You've made me feel so welcome."

Sumner clamped his hand down on John's shoulder, the one he had taken the bullet round in and gripped hard, causing John to grimace. "Remember who's giving the orders on this expedition!"

Feeling Ronon crowding him from behind, knew the man wanted to make a run at Sumner again, John put a restraining hand back to halt Ronon's charge. Then, with a voice a bit choked with pain, John retorted, "The one giving orders, leading this base …that would be Dr. Weir, right?" John wasn't backing down one iota, because he wouldn't let this guy scare him off. Found he wanted to be there, with Ronon and McKay…on Atlantis, now that he'd seen her.

Sumner gave another punishing squeeze to John's shoulder before he walked away.

John tried to downplay the confrontation. "Well, now that the awkward first meeting part's over…"

"You alright? Your shoulder…" Ronon worriedly asked, gently gripping John's elbow, stopping the man from skittering away from him, had seen the man's response to concern enough to predict his reaction.

"It needed a little tenderizing, loosened it right up," John quipped, didn't try to break from Ronon's hold mostly because he knew he couldn't.

"You should have let me rip his head from his shoulders!" Ronon fumed but McKay was the voice of reason.

"Right, because that would have solved so many things," Rodney sarcastically interjected before predicting. "I can see it now. After you did that, the so good natured Colonel would have apologized profusely to Sheppard and they'd be getting beers in the next offworld bar they could find."

Ronon pointed a menacing finger to McKay. "I didn't see you doing anything?!"

"Hey I don't need my honor defended!" John interrupted the brewing feud between the two men before stalking off, only realized half way across the deck that he had no idea where he was going. Crap but this was going even worse than he envisioned. 'That's because this isn't right. You shouldn't be here. Sumner knows you don't belong here and just like you should have before you said yes to coming here, joining this…team. And Sumner had been right, you aren't a team player. Had proved that point in the military and on the police force.'

He nearly startled when a young voice spoke from his left. "Looks like you and the Colonel got to know each other." He looked to see Lt. Ford, who he had met briefly on the Daedalus, coming to walk beside him. "Colonel Sumner's not a hearts and flowers leader but he's seen us through some really bad situations."

'I didn't think he was here for his winning personality,' John wanted to retort, said instead, "Sounds like the right kind of leader for Atlantis." Because he and Sumner might not like each other but John respected an officer that saved lives. 'So unlike your track record.'

Ford smiled but said nothing. Looking over his shoulder, he saw the two men that seemed wholly devoted to the Major trailing them. "Hey, I'll take your bag to your quarters so Dr. McKay can give you the ten cent tour he's dying to take you on."

"Oh, he's super at giving tours," John remarked, remembered McKay's playing tour guide at Area 51 and how much fun interacting with their psycho, mind reading, future predicting Wraith pet had been. Ford snagged his light bag of meager belongings and stalked off before he agreed to the arrangement. Then he was again flanked by McKay and Ronon, wondered if they expected him to apologize when Rodney spoke.

"We'll start at the gate room. Then I know you'll want to see the gate ships. From there my labs and the training rooms and …." McKay excitedly outlined the tour he had mapped out in his head.

"Then food," Ronon cut in. McKay shot him a look before conceding, because hey, he never turned down food, strictly because of his low blood sugar issue naturally. "Right then food. After supper we'll…"

And Rodney kept up a running commentary the entire trek through numerous hallways, in elevator like transporters and finally to their first official stop on the tour: the gateroom. To say John was impressed was an understatement. As timing would have it, they walked in when the gate was being activated for a mission. He stood there utterly enthralled as the wall of waterish stuff filled the circle then plumed forward, which he totally didn't jump at, before it settled back and stayed shimmering in the circle. Then the team, "gate team" walked through the watery wall and disappeared from sight. "Holy crap."

McKay was beaming at his reaction. "See, totally worth the trip, right?"

John pointed at the gate that now was back being a big circle in the room that he could see through to the back wall. "And they went…to another gate…on another planet?"

"I could bore you with the mechanics again but…basically, yes." Rodney caught Ronon's smirk and knew the man was making fun of the fact that he was a little disappointed to not explain every scientific detail that made the gate work. "Don't you have guns to clean or Marines to break in the training room?"

"Nope," Ronon denied with a smile, didn't confess that he had no intentions of abandoning John during his first hours there.

McKay rolled his eyes at Ronon then was leading John up the stairs to the gate control station.

It was an area of Atlantis that, honestly, bored Ronon to tears. So he walked over to the railing and leaned against it, was content to watch from a distance so he didn't have to hear McKay ramble on about every single control panel Atlantis had. From the way Sheppard started walking between all the consoles as McKay talked, he didn't appear that fascinated either but Ronon didn't doubt the man was still taking in all the details McKay was droning on about. That was another thing the same about this Sheppard: he was so darn smart but didn't show it, let his intelligence be a secret he kept until he needed to reveal that he had processed all the intel with lightning speed.

As for John, he wondered if McKay was even taking in a breath he was rambling on for so long. Crystals to control the gate, destination sequences, environmental controls, shield for Atlantis, tracking of the space around Atlantis. He was impressed, even if didn't show it. Wondered over to a control dusty with disuse and absentmindedly ran his fingers through the dirty film, didn't expect the darn thing to light up like a freaking Christmas tree. "Oh crap," he muttered as he stepped back, his hands up innocently in the air as every eye in the control room turned to him. "I just touched it…I didn't mean to…make it do… whatever it's doing now."

"What did you do?!" McKay demanded, but there was awe in his tone instead of anger as he began running his hands almost lovingly above the console like it was a genie in a bottle he was both anticipating and scared to awaken.

"Touched it," John meekly admitted, knew it was pointless to deny that. He never could resist touching things, especially when there were signs forbidding him to do so. Suddenly he was crowded in on all sides as everyone wanted to gawk at the lighted control panel and theories started being thrown around about what the controls could do.

Alarmed at the sudden hubbub centered around Sheppard, Ronon headed for the other man. None too gently shoved aside the people three deep circling Sheppard until he was at the man's side. "What's wrong? What's happened?"

McKay answered before John had to, astonishment still evident in his tone, "He's initiated this console that's been dead for five years. Well, more like ten thousand five years. He just….touched it."

Ronon relaxed when he realized the fuss was over nothing, that no one was trying to hurt Sheppard. "It's his Ancient gene," he stated matter-of-factly, though McKay should have realized that. Turning to John, he saw the man's rigid stance. "You'll get used to using your gene to activate things."

John nodded, trying to process it all but things weren't making sense. "Yeah, read the briefing but…there's …what? 100 personnel here who have the gene either naturally or synthetically. Why didn't they turn on the console?"

Radek, who had abandoned his tour guide duties to Dr. Weir to join the excitement, drawled, "You think we didn't try?! That Rodney didn't try a hundred times with his knock off gene?!"

McKay stiffly corrected his fellow scientist, "I tried five times…ok less than ten. Everyone tried, including Carson."

"Sheppard's…" Ronon felt all eyes on him but met John's because it was him that this would impact the most, "Well my John Sheppard had the strongest gene on Atlantis. Seems that's true with this Sheppard too."

Radek readily agreed with Ronon's conjecture, like he had made the detection himself. "Yes, very true." To McKay he enthused, "Do you know how many systems might be accessible to us now, even the locked parts of the city?! He's the key." Then he bestowed a look on Sheppard like he was the newest scientific gadget he'd discovered in one of Atlantis' dusty rooms.

And that right there was the look John had dreaded: getting the 'lab rat who stupidly came to a scientific convention' look. The noise level increased as the geeks all speculated how they'd utilize said lab rat. When John felt a tug on his elbow, in relief he saw that it was Ronon offering him a way out and he wasn't stupid enough to pass on his chance to escape. The two men slipped away unnoticed as the scientists continued to gush on merrily.

There was bustling in the hallways they traveled but no one gave John much notice. Ronon, however, they made a point to skirt far out of his way, some even shoulder-checking the opposite wall so they didn't inadvertently bump into the tall, muscled man. "Seems like you have your own reputation here?" John concluded at the apparent fear the man evoked in the crew. Which John found…amusing, considering he had thought of Ronon as a big teddy bear when he woke up in the infirmary on the Daedalus with him at his side, being all nice and gentle and protective.

Ronon merely grunted in answer, honestly hadn't made any efforts to befriend any of the other crewmembers, liked it just fine that they steered clear of him. He hadn't wanted attachments. 'Yeah and now that Sheppard's here, all those safety walls are blown to rubble.' But he couldn't seriously begrudge the outcome: having Sheppard with him was worth the risk of caring for him, just like his John was.

Taking Ronon's nonverbal response as a keepout, John respected that, was content to let silence stand between them as Ronon led him onto another level of Atlantis. When that journey ended up in a hangar bay many stories high and filled with ships McKay had called "gate ships", he felt like he had hit the jackpot he never raked in at the Red Rock Casino. Forgetting the lessons learned in the gateroom, he couldn't resist touching the closest ship, could have sworn he felt a hum of energy under his finger pads. "Can I?" he petitioned, pointing to the viewport of the ship.

Ronon couldn't help smiling at the child-like enthusiasm pouring off of Sheppard, so much like his best friend. "Didn't bring you here to tease you." Then he rounded to the back of the ship, which opened when John approached. Ronon loved seeing John take in the little ship's every detail before stepping inside, going for the ship's console like it was a drug calling to him. When John sank into the pilot's chair, the ship came alive but John wasn't startled, he was too busy grinning ear to ear. With his hand hovering above the controls, the view screen filled with aerodynamic schematics that apparently John had wondered about. "It's …way cooler than the 302s. Sure they have maneuverability and speed but this baby…she and I are …I just wondered about…and the screen …and I didn't flip anything and the engine…." John enthused, so like the giddy scientists they had both run from that Ronon chuckled, causing a rueful and embarrassed look to crease John's features. The ship abruptly shut down and the interior fell dark.

"I'm acting ….unprofessional and childish and …It's embarrassing," John muttered, standing up to leave the ship, admonishing himself to be stoic and in control, to not let all this sparkly engine interaction blind him to why they had brought him there: to be part of their war, to turn on consoles and ships and, if necessary, die defending this city. But Ronon didn't let him escape, blocked his exit by sitting on the arm of the one of the "backseat" chair of the cockpit.

"Maybe you noticed but McKay and the others were practically breaking into a livinic." At John's confused look, Ronon clarified, "A dance best done a few beers in." John felt his shame melt away and he gave a nod, knew Ronon was giving him a pass for his kid like response to the ship, a pass Sumner would not offer to him. That sobered him again and he sighed, ran a hand down his face. "Just because I turned on some dusty console, that doesn't mean Sumner wasn't right about me, about the risk you're taking having me here."

"He doesn't know you," Ronon growled, angry all over again for the Colonel's words to John, who had apparently taken them to heart.

But John gave a shake of his head, sadly countered, "Neither do you. One right deed doesn't absolve the blood on my hands."

Ronon wanted to protest that but knew he couldn't, that John wouldn't accept his absolution, anymore than he could free himself of guilt for failing his home planet. Quietly he posed, "You think my Sheppard didn't make mistakes? Didn't have blood on his hands?" though it pained him to shed his friend in poor light, he knew he had to make this Sheppard realize that everyone failed, everyone had to deal with lives lost here in the Pegasus galaxy, that there were no easy victories in this war. He could see his questions, his implications stunned the man. "John had regrets…sins he wanted absolution for, just like you do. I didn't follow him because he was perfect…none of us did."

"Then why did you follow him? Why did you want me to be his replacement so damn badly if you knew I was a screw up even worse than he was?" John harshly demanded, couldn't believe now Ronon was cutting the crap about his hero worship, now when he couldn't fold his hand and go home, admit it was a terrible play coming there.

"Because he didn't give up, because he gave me…us hope when things were at their worst," Ronon answered, felt his throat closing up recounting his friend's nature. "Because he tried his best to do what he felt was right in an evil world but was strong enough to do the soul wrecking unscrupulous acts so no one else had to. Because…he gave me a chance I didn't deserve. Because you're not his replacement, no one can ever replace him to me." John paled at that, felt like Ronon was cutting him adrift, was done with him.

"Glad that's finally cleared up," he hoarsely bit out as he shoved by Ronon, but the man caught his arm, halted his departure. Coming to his feet, Ronon yanked John back around to face him.

"Yes, I wanted…needed you to be like him. And you are…but …in some ways you're not and I don't hate those differences, no matter what you think," Ronon insisted, hand tightening possessively around John's arm, didn't want him to walk away and not get this truth to sink into John's head, his soul. "If all we wanted from you was your gene to activate things, Stargate Command would have tracked you down years ago, as soon as Rodney came back from meeting the other Sheppard, when I came here from my universe. But they refused to let me contact you, wouldn't even tell me if there was a John Sheppard in their world. Even when you stumbled into the Wraith, Rodney went against orders to read you into the Stargate Program."

"They had my military records, knew what I had done. No surprise they passed on wanting me in this program. Ancient gene or not, I wasn't worth the risk," John roughly pointed out.

"That's what John's superior said about me when Sheppard wanted me to stay on Atlantis, that I wasn't worth the security risk. That I could be a wraith worshiper, or sell out the location of Atlantis for personal gain, or try and seal the technology to wage my own war against the wraith. John defended "my honor"" he flung out, words John had said early, "risked his career to instate me to the crew. And when I asked him why he trusted me, risked defending me, getting me on Atlantis…" here Ronon couldn't help letting a bittersweet smile turn up his lips, "He said, I thought we worked together pretty good on the planet, you know after you tied me up and threatened to shoot me. But you didn't kill me and I didn't let you go on your merry way and continue to be a wraith cat toy. So as far as first meetings go, I've had worse. And as far as comrades in arms, I feel a sight better with you on my side than against me…and I'm betting the wraith feel the same way."

John couldn't help liking Ronon's Sheppard in that moment. Clearly the man had had style and good insights, was cocksure and 1000% right about Ronon being a great brother in arms. John had only had Ronon's friendship for less than a month but he already knew how blessed the Satedan's Sheppard had been to have him in his life, to have earned his fervent loyalty. And John was riding the coat tails of that loyalty that wasn't his to claim, that he hadn't earned. But he didn't want to relinquish it, let it slip through his fingers, didn't know how he'd endure any of this without Ronon. "Your Sheppard seems to have taken all the best speech lines already…"

Ronon nodded but there was a light in his eyes. "Oh I don't know…I think you'll give him a run for the title because he would have gotten a kick out of you flipping off Sumner."

John gave a ballsy smirk. "You know I'm going to pay dearly for that, especially since I did it in front of an audience."

Ronon shrugged unconcerned. "Sumner has no respect for McKay and his "team." He hates that a nonmilitary scientist is leading the gateteam that's made the most impact on Atlantis's fight against the wraith. So we're all on his hit list…" before he smiled brazenly, "but you're definitely topping it. My John used to say…be number one or go home."

"Sarcastically I bet, in the most-wanted-list kind of way," John guessed and by Ronon's smirk he knew he had surmised correctly. But he held the other man's gaze steadily, hesitated before he asked, "Did he get absolution? Your John?"

Ronon sobered, remembered the rare times his friend openly admitted to his hurts. "If you asked him….he'd say no. But he..he saved Atlantis, gave hope to the galaxy where there used to be none and he forever changed the lives of the ones who loved him. To me, that's worth more than a blameless life with no regrets."

That sentiment rolled around in John's head as Ronon released his grip on his arm. Freed, John left the ship, Ronon tailing him. They stood there silently as the gateship's hatch closed behind them, among the huge hanger that dwarfed them.

"Regardless if I'm not his replacement to you…it's a lot to …to live up to, to accomplish to make my past not taint everything I ever do," John haltingly confessed his doubts, chancing a look to Ronon, to see his reaction.

"You saved your earth, you saved the Daedalus and everyone on board and you…maybe even more of a big deal…you got McKay to actually stop being such a egomaniac," Ronon summed up with a bad boy smile. "You know he passed on giving Dr. Weir the tour of Atlantis and impressing with his amazing brilliance to instead give you a personalized tour? The old McKay, he would have had minions following him along the tour with Dr. Weir, holding up posters and diagrams and clapping when he said something brainy."

John smiled at the imagery. "I can actually envision that." But then he sobered, admitted, "He's been….different since our first meeting at Area 51." Remembered the sharp accusations, the cold stare, the look of disgust and disappointment the doctor had lobbed at him in that interrogation room, never knowing that he had been failing miserably in a comparison game. But then the man had blown John away with his parting words on his tour…the belief that he could be a better man. And since then, Rodney had been as dogged a friend as Ronon, not letting on he had any lingering doubts about his character.

Ronon wanted to ask in what ways McKay was different because the look that had crossed John's features, it wasn't all happy memories. But the man in question intercepted his opening.

"You'll never guess what that console does!" Rodney beamed, practically skipping to them in his joy at the new discovery.

"It's a beacon to other Ancient ships and bases that Atlantis is operational and it also can lead us to their positions in the galaxy," Ronon nonchalantly stated, earning a stunned, open mouthed response from McKay before the man exploded.

"You knew! You knew all this time and you never told us?!" Rodney railed, couldn't believe the man didn't think that tidbit of knowledge from his universe's Atlantis was an important thing to share.

Unperturbed, Ronon shrugged. "Didn't matter what it could do, you couldn't get it working. Until now." Here he looked pointedly to John, the man who had performed what no one else could and he wanted Rodney to acknowledge that.

Instead of huffing off in anger at the man's blatant slight against him and everyone else on Atlantis, Rodney saw Ronon's not so subtle gesture toward John and remembered there was a person's feelings to consider in this new discovery. Remembered looking to share his findings with John and realized he was gone from the gateroom. And he had felt…ashamed that the man had left and he didn't even know it. Felt almost as bad as he did dragging the man into a meet and greet with the Wraith they had locked up at Area 51 that shook him up so badly.

"Right, yeah, but you got it working," Rodney proudly directed at John. "Sorry I got…distracted but I'm here to walk you through the rest of the tour and then supper, I'm starving. Maybe we head to eat now and finish up afterward. Wait, you did get inside the gateship right? You don't look…well…as excited as I thought you would be," disappointed the ships didn't wow the man like he wanted them to.

John was going to reassure Rodney the ships were great but Ronon spoke first. "He caressed the first ship within touching distance, drooled over the diagram things that came up on the viewport and revved the engines."

It had John protesting, "I did not caress anything," while Rodney smiled like he knew he had gotten John the best Christmas gift ever…ten months ahead of time. Meeting Ronon's eyes across John's still protesting form, Rodney knew he and Ronon were both pretty proud of themselves for getting John there, to having this moment actually happen, for Atlantis finally feeling complete, like it was no longer missing someone's presence to make it into their home.

Amid John's insistence that he couldn't rev the gateship's engines even if he wanted to, Ronon slung an arm around the man's shoulders, careful of his wound and began steering him out of the hangar. "Trust me, if anyone can get the engines to rev…it'll be you."

John's head snapped to Ronon, eyes wide in a question, "Did your John…"

"No…but I think breaking his records is something you're up for," Ronon both challenged and declared his steadfast faith in John.

Not aware of the underlining meaning or the two men's earlier conversation, Rodney bristled at Ronon, "I thought we agreed to nip his 'do or die', 'I think I'm an invincible superhero' 'going out in a blaze of glory sounds fun' tendencies in the bud. He does not need to strive to rev the engines or break the sound barrier or …surf the Atlantis ocean."

But at the mention of the ocean, John's eyes lit up. "Ocean…there's waves you can surf."

"Oh crap," Rodney groaned as he realized he had added to the man's list of reckless pursuits, but Ronon was grinning like a fool and Sheppard looked…hopeful. "Why do I envision myself burned to a crisp under the 1000 degree sunrays while watching you two idiots try your best to get eaten by some hideous water monster?"

Ronon innocently asked, "What do you do to waves when you surf them?"

While John's smile was all wily wolf as he asked, "We get days off right?"

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TBC

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Thanks for reading and for my awesome reviewers!

Have a great day!

Cheryl W.