Snippet 17

Genre: Humor/Sci-Fi/Adventure

Pairs: Arkos (Jaune/Pyrrha), Pink Lotus (Ren/Nora), Playboy Bunny (Jaune/Velvet)

Parody: RWBY/Rick and Morty

AU-Type: Basically, a mix of the two verses. Starts off shortly in the later parts of Season 1, and the teams are formed. And Jaune did not fake his way into Beacon.

Tags: Rick!Jaune, Pyrrha and Velvet are basically his "Morties", Jerry!Weiss, a bit of Weiss bashing, Anti-White Knight, Clever Bastard!Ozpin, Jackass!Jaune, Summer!Yang, Pervert!Blake, ButtMonkey!Weiss, ButtMonkey!Goodwitch

Ozpin had chosen Jaune to lead Team JPNR not for his leadership but for his genius. His semblance expanded his aura to ridiculous degrees and had an effect on his body and mind. Essentially, Jaune was a mad genius. Ozpin knew full well he'd probably wind up experimenting on the populace. Just last night, accidently caused a mutation in all Faunus giving them "heat cycles". Poor Cardin was humped so hard that his pelvis was busted, and his anus needed treatment. But that was then, now continues the real adventure.

(Cue the Rick and Morty Theme!)

Jaune, Velvet, and Pyrrha: The Ricked Adventures (Part 2)

The gang was all gathered in Glynda Goodwitch's class except for Jaune, where Pyrrha and Velvet were sleeping in class much to Goodwitch's annoyance. Ruby tried to shake the two awake.

"Miss Nikos, Miss Scarlatina, why are you two so tried?!" Glynda said cracking her riding crop.

"Last night, dealing with Jaune's flying invention." Pyrrha said numbly before passing out on the bleachers.

"Jaune! I swear Arc barely attends my class at all!" Glynda said growling. "Yet, somehow he has the highest grade in this class!"

The doors to the gym were kicked open as Jaune trudged with a flask of a mixture of liquor.

"That's because no rational person will fight me. The only person who would is either extremely stupid or has a death wish like Salem." Jaune said winking at the audience.

"That's ridiculous." Glynda claimed before asking if anyone would like to be Jaune's opponent.

Glynda looked to Cardin who was shaking and begging not to be picked. The former bully's later attempt of bullying Velvet, and Jaune had wanted to get even. Velvet had gotten herself a rather pricey dress that she saved her to go out. Jaune silently approved, but Cardin had his team throw pudding on it to stain it. Jaune decided he had to get involved by turning Cardin into…a pickle. It took days to repress that the memory of what happened while he was a pickle, but Cardin knew picking on Jaune and crew was suicide. Like a little bitch, he ran out the classroom with his team.

"I believe this means I get another A, Goodwitch." Jaune said laughing at her.

Glynda's eye twitched in disbelief as it seemed that no students wanted to fight Jaune, and she realized she had to sweeten the deal. She offered to any students who could beat Jaune to rise their lower grades for her class up to 'A's. Nobody stood except one person dumb enough to try. Weiss.

"I will take on the dunce." Weiss said readying Myrtenaster.

"*urps* Snow Bitch, do you really want to get your ass handed to you?" Jaune said taking a swig of his flask.

"Weiss, as your leader, I am recommending you don't do this. She turned you into a dildo, and Cardin into a pickle." Ruby said worriedly.

"Cardin's pickle ass ruined my salad." Blake groaned. "I had to toss it."

"If you're going to be a coward like Blake, then your advice is meaningless to me, dolt!" Weiss snapped as she stormed into the ring.

Jaune strode in with his sword and shield at the ready if he was to unleash them. The marquee was set and Glynda called the match with the usual rules.

"Are you ready to lose, Jaune?" Weiss said raising her blade.

Jaune's response was to laugh and Ruby sweetly asked Jaune not to turn Weiss into a dildo or at least make the match.

"Only because you asked, Rubes. I can't say no to you." Jaune said kindly.

"Begin!" Glynda said as Weiss made her charge to attack first.

Weiss unleashed a wave of fire from Myrtenaster to which Jaune lazily let his aura slap it away. Weiss came in close to slash at him only to reveal the Jaune standing there was an illusionary clone. Before Weiss could think on that, she was grabbed by her hair and slamming into the arena costing her some aura. Jaune lifted her up by her hair glaring at the ice queen.

"Give up." Jaune ordered.

"Screw you!" Weiss spat.

"Why would I need to? I could be a clone, controlled by Penny, controlled with a special headset that the real me is wearing while I'm fucking your mother!" Jaune roared.

"My mother would never!" Weiss said Jaune used hand to hand on her.

"She would and does! She cheats on your father all the time because he's a gelded parasite! He's not even your biological father." Jaune ranted before punching Weiss in her stomach and using his knee to bash her face which broke her nose.

Weiss staggered back only for Jaune to slap away her rapier and paralyze her with a wrist laser from his watch.

"Now Weiss, apologize for calling Ruby a dolt, or else." Jaune said being unpredictably petty.

"Or else what?" Weiss asked as Ruby facepalmed at her comment.

"I could alter your DNA and make you into a rat Faunus." Jaune said with a wild smirk. "Or into a mindless grimm. Give me an excuse, Schnee. I already turned your dad into a chicken Faunus this morning for kicks!" Jaune spewed clearly showing the signs of being a bit drunk.

Weiss, in fear for her safety, surrendered and Jaune tossed her out of the arena. Jaune walked up to his assistants injecting them with both with a syringe to revitalize them both as he could not have them sleepy.

"Thanks, Jaune." Coco said with a weary sigh.

"I can't have them too drained." Jaune said quietly.

Ozpin had come to collect Jaune claiming it was something of the upmost importance. Ozpin acted like it was life or death and Jaune caught on by acting like he was concerned.

It was all an act.

Ozpin just wanted Jaune to lace his coffee with the alien drug known as Hopeful, so he could veg out and relax. The two sat in Ozpin's coffee laced and high as kites.

"So, Ozpin? Where are we going to deal with Salem?" Jaune said completely relaxed.

"We'll wait under Cinder comes to Beacon. I need to make sure Lionheart did this, so I can deal with him personally." Ozpin said a bit loopy. "So, how's Miss Schnee?"

"Still banging her Faunus lover. I wonder when we should tell Miss Schnee's she part snow leopard faunus thanks to that lover of hers." Jaune said. "And the only reason she and Winter don't show any traits was thanks to the seal you made."

"Thanks to your grandfather. How is he?" Ozpin asked.

"In another universe enslaving Salem." Jaune said waving it off.

Unknown to Jaune and Ozpin, Winter accidently stumbled upon the Schnee family's secret. She looked in the mirror to see a second set of snow leopard ears, a tail, and her eyes shifting.

"Well shit." She said.

Ut Autem Perseverabat

(A/N: More Ricked Adventures! Yes, if you're a Rick and Morty fan, you'll get some of references and lines. As you notice, Ozpin is a bit more of an ass than in canon. However, this Ozpin is a bit brighter though. Stay tuned for more!)