A/N #1: One of the biggest mysteries concerning 'Linchpin' was how did Castle get himself and Beckett out of her submerged car? Well, I'm going to do my best to answer that question.

JUST KEEP BREATHING

CHAPTER 5

This episode takes place during and after 'Linchpin.' There will be spoilers for that episode.

"Castle, hold on! We're going in!" Beckett shouted at the very second that her Crown Victoria went off Pier 32 and into the Hudson River.

"Beckett!"

"Castle!"

"The door won't open."

"Yeah, mine won't either," Kate tried her door. "I think the crash bent the frame."

"We need something to break the glass," Castle said, stating the obvious.

"My gun," Kate felt down to her holster and realized that it was empty. "Castle, I can't . . . I can't find it. I think that it got knocked out of my holster when we got hit. Help me look for it," she tried to unlock her seatbelt, but it wouldn't budge. "I'm stuck."

"What do you mean, you're stuck?" He asked, panic-stricken.

"I'm stuck! The word only really has the one meaning! My belt is jammed! And the seat won't move."

"Okay," Castle tried to think. "What about a knife? Do you have a knife?"

"Yeah," Kate momentarily brightened until she came to a horrible realization. "It's in the trunk." She looked over to her partner and then to the cold water that was rapidly rising around them. They were running out of time. "Look, we're running out of time. I need you to see if you can find my gun. If you find it, you can shoot my belt off."

"Shoot your belt off? What if I shoot you?"

"You won't. Castle, I trust you. You're our only hope. If you don't find my gun, we're going to die down here."

Castle reached his hand under the seat, but all he could find were the seat springs. "I can't feel it."

"Castle?" He could hear the slight panic rising in Kate's voice.

"I found it," he said, closing his fingers around the barrel of the gun and wiggling it out from around the springs.

"Castle," the water was up to her chin. She reached her hands out for her partner, but she couldn't feel him.

Her therapist, Dr. Burke, had taught her how to quell the panic attacks that she had suffered since her shooting. However, he hadn't taught her how to fight the rising panic of drowning. 'I'm not going to die like this," she kept mentally telling herself. She fought for air as the water crept up over her head.

Just when she thought she was going to die at the bottom of the filthy, freezing cold Hudson River, she felt something grab her seatbelt, followed by the sound of several gunshots in rapid succession. Finding herself free from her restraint, she motioned to Castle to shoot out the passenger side window.

Castle followed her instructions, shooting the window and then kicking out the shattered glass. They both wiggled out the of the opening made by the shattered window and began swimming up toward the surface. When they emerged, choking and sputtering, a spotlight immediately shone on them. "New York Harbor Patrol," a male voice came over a bullhorn.

A second later, two life rings landed near them. Weary, but grateful to be alive, Beckett looped her arms in one while Castle grabbed the other. Within moments, they were hauled aboard a patrol boat. "I'm Captain Evans, New York Harbor Patrol. We got a call that a car had gone into the river. Are you folks all right?"

"Detective Kate Beckett," Kate showed the captain her shield. "This is my partner, Richard Castle. I need to notify my team that there's been a homicide on the pier."

"It's already been called in. Your people are probably up there waiting for you right now."

Castle managed to squeeze in a quick hug before they landed back at the pier. That was too close, he thought.

***CCC***

The ride back to the precinct with Lanie and Alexis was a long one. Kate's wet clothes were clinging to her body, but she couldn't help noticing that her partner was dry and comfortable. She thought about the last words Sophia Turner had thrown at Castle before she and her team departed the pier to return to their headquarters. "I thought that you had changed, Rick. But you're still the same reckless, immature, self-centered jackass that you've always been. This isn't one of your books. You can't rewrite the ending, like you did with us."

Castle had told Kate that he had shadowed Sophia for a year, learning the ways of the CIA to bring authenticity to Derrick Storm. He neglected to mention the small fact that they had also been lovers. The thought filled Kate with such a burning jealousy that she almost couldn't see straight.

She didn't say a word when she got out of the coroner's wagon in front of the Twelfth. "Thanks, Lanie," Castle was quick to thank the M.E. before he got out and followed Kate into the precinct.

Kate didn't say anything until the elevator stopped on the fourth floor. "So, you slept with her," she walked toward her desk.

Her words weren't asking a question. She was making a statement. "Uh, yeah," he finally managed to reply.

Kate stopped short and turned to face him. "How many others have there been?"

"Women?" Castle was confused.

"No. Muses. I was just wondering how big the club is."

"There is no club," he protested.

"Detective Beckett!" Gates' words stopped them in their tracks. "My office! Now! Not you, Mr. Castle! Just Det. Beckett."

"I know what this is about," Kate muttered under her breath before walking into the captain's office and closing the door behind her.

"Would you care to explain to me how your car . . . your New York City Police Department issued vehicle ended up at the bottom of the Hudson River."

"Sir, I'm sorry—"

"If you say the words, 'it's classified,' I'm going to send you home. Tell me something that doesn't reveal the nature of your undercover assignment."

"We were following a lead. Our lead directed us to Pier 32, but we were followed. We were shoved into the river."

"Do you know who followed you?"

"No, sir."

"Would it happen to be Thomas Gage, the man who walked out of our precinct, and is still at large?"

"Again, I don't know. It was possibly Gage, but again, I have no proof. Sir, I need to change clothes. I also need a replacement car."

"Fine," Gates sat back in her chair, her arms folded over her chest. "Fill out a report telling me exactly what happened on Pier 32, and I will see that you're issued a new vehicle."

"Sir, I can't do that. Not without blowing my assignment."

"Then, I guess that you'll either be taking the subway or the bus to finish solving this case. You're dismissed, Det. Beckett."

Kate walked out of Gates' office and made her way to her desk, where she found Castle sitting in his chair. "Kate, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you everything. It was a long time ago. Are you in trouble?"

"Well, I can't get a replacement car because I can't explain how my car ended up in the river. So, yeah, I'm kind of in trouble." Her thoughts were interrupted by the phone on her desk ringing. "Beckett," she answered. "What? What do you mean his body didn't show up?" She put her hand over the receiver and looked across the desk at Castle. "Blakely's body never arrived at the morgue." She then returned to her conversation with Lanie. "Who took him? Yeah, we'll be there as soon as we can find a car."

***CCC***

Kate was embarrassed beyond belief. She had never meant to take her anger out on Castle in front of his daughter. She was sitting in her apartment, clean after a nice long shower, thinking about the events of the previous evening. Yes, Castle had slept with Sophia Turner. Yes, it had been a long time ago. Then why in the hell was she so jealous? The argument in the morgue had been embarrassing, to say the very least. It had started when she learned that the CIA had obtained a court order to take Nelson Blakely from the M.E.'s office.

"How did they get a court order that fast?" Castle had wondered out loud.

"I don't know," Kate's voice was tinged with sarcasm. "Maybe you should ask your girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?" Lanie was confused.

"Yes. Okay. We slept together. It was a long time ago. What's the big deal?"

"There is no big deal. Sleep with whomever you want. The more the merrier!"

Kate closed her eyes, mentally shuddering at the memory of Alexis clearing her throat behind them, ending the conversation.

Since her cell phone had been ruined in the crash into the river, Kate decided to call Alexis from her apartment landline. "Hello?" Alexis answered on the first ring.

"Alexis, it's Kate."

"Oh. Hi. Is everything okay?"

"Yes, no. I mean, your dad is okay. He should be on his way to the morgue to pick you up. Alexis, I'm sorry that I said what I said at the morgue."

"You mean you're sorry that I heard what you said at the morgue."

"Yeah, that. I had no right to drag you and Lanie into mine and your fathers' issues."

"Kate, who is that woman? The one from the pier?"

"Alexis, I wish that I could tell you, but I can't. And neither can your dad. I just wanted to apologize to you. I'm mortified that you heard what I said."

"I understand why you're upset. My dad can act like an immature kid. The thing is, he means well."

"I know. We'll work it out. I'll talk to you soon. Good night."

"Goodnight." Alexis pocketed her phone and walked to Lanie's office. "My dad is on his way over to pick me up. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay, sweetie. Thank you for your help today."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"You can ask me anything. What's on your mind?" Lanie motioned for Alexis to take a seat.

"You know what? Never mind. I'll ask my dad."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'll ask my dad. Good night."

***CCC***

Castle was parked in the front of the morgue when he saw Alexis walking down the steps. "Hey, sweetie," he greeted her when she got in the car and strapped her seatbelt on. "How was work?"

"Good. Beckett called me a little while ago."

"Oh?"

"Aren't you going to ask what she wanted?"

Castle stopped at a red light and looked over at his daughter. "Okay, I'll bite. What did Beckett want?"

"She apologized for the scene in the morgue earlier. Are you guys fighting?"

"No, we're not fighting."

"But she was clearly upset with you. Does it have anything to do with that woman from the pier? Did you have a relationship with her?"

"I don't want to talk about that, Alexis."

"Clearly, she knows you, and clearly you had a relationship with her, or she wouldn't have said some of the things that she said. Who is she?"

"Again, I'm not discussing this with you, Alexis. Stop talking about it."

"I'm not talking about it. I'm asking questions about it, and since you're a writer, you should know the difference between questions and a conversation."

"Okay, then let me clarify. Stop asking questions about it."

"Maybe I should start keeping secrets from you."

Castle pulled into his parking space and cut the engine. "I'm beginning to think at your age, that might be a good idea." They rode the elevator up to the loft in silence, which ended when they entered the apartment. "I'll see you in the morning. Good night."

"Does mom know about her?"

"Go to bed, Alexis!"

When he walked into his office, he was surprised to find Sophia sitting there. He was also surprised and somewhat distressed to find his layout regarding Johanna Beckett's mother displayed on his TV screen. "Sophia, how did you get in here?"

"I'm CIA. Does she know about this?"

"No," Rick walked over to his TV and closed the screen.

"You're in love with her." It wasn't a question; it was a statement.

"Again, why are you here?"

"You always did like playing with dynamite. Just be careful that it doesn't blow up in your face."

"She's different."

"Is she? Or do you just think she is? The woman? Her mother?"

"Yes."

"I could help you find her killer."

"Please don't."

"Clearly, she wants closure. After 12 years, don't you think that she deserves it?"

"You still haven't said why you're here."

"You're going after Gage, aren't you?"

"No, we're off the case, remember?"

"Are you really going to play that game, Rick? I know you. You're curious by nature. You always have to know how the story ends. It's okay. I don't mind. Look away. But do me a favor and keep me in the loop this time. Okay?" She stood up and walked over, gently patting him on the cheek. "I'll let myself out quietly so that your daughter doesn't hear me leave. It sounds like she has more than a few questions about me."

Once Sophia had left, Castle walked back into the living room. He looked up the stairs, but he didn't hear anything from Alexis. He walked over to his liquor cart and poured some Scotch into a glass, wincing when he felt the familiar burn of the alcohol warming his insides. After taking another drink, he made his way upstairs to his daughters' room and lightly tapped on the door. "Alexis, are you still awake?"

"Yes," he heard her muffled voice from the other side of the door.

"Can I come in?"

A moment later the door opened. "I'm sorry," were the first words out of her mouth.

"No, sweetie. You don't have anything to apologize for. I'm the one who owes you an apology. I can't tell you everything about that woman from earlier."

"Why?"

"It's complicated."

"Not helping."

"I knew her a long time ago when I was researching my first Derrick Storm book. She's the inspiration for Clara Strike. And yes, we were briefly in an intimate relationship."

"How briefly?"

"Less than a year."

"Does Kate know?"

"Yes. She does now. That's why she said what she said in the morgue. I can't tell you more than that. And it's not because I like keeping secrets from you. I don't. Now, will you please get some sleep?" He kissed her on the forehead and turned to leave the room.

"Dad?"

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"Did you love her?"

"No," he shook his head.

"Good night, dad."

"Good night."

Castle walked back downstairs to his room and instinctively reached into his back pocket for his cellphone before remembering that his cell was ruined by the Hudson River. He made a note to call his cellphone provider in the morning. He then took the landline receiver into his bedroom and called Kate. "Are you still mad at me?"

"Castle, I'm mad at you a few times a day. I get over it quickly. What's going on?"

"Nothing. I wanted to call and apologize for not telling you about Sophia."

"Well, like you said, she is an active CIA agent. Thank you for getting me out of my car."

"Like I said, you would've done the same for me. I was a little worried about shooting you instead of the seatbelt."

"Yeah, that would've sucked," she chuckled.

"Thank you for trusting me."

"You're a good shot. I knew that you could do it. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. It's just been a long day."

"It has," she agreed. "Get some rest. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

***CCC***

Kate was at her desk the next morning when Castle came in. "Hi," she smiled when she took her customary cup of coffee from his hands. "Thank you."

"Where are the boys?"

"They're canvassing chess parks looking for anyone that knew Blakely."

"Why aren't you with them?"

"Because my car is at the bottom of the Hudson and Gates won't issue me another one until I write up an incident report. Which I can't do because this case is classified." She glanced up at Castle, who had a look on his face. The look. The one that he got whenever he got a crazy idea. "What?"

"Nothing. It's just that what you described is a perfect example of a linchpin. This case might go unsolved all because you don't have access to a car."

"Don't make me shoot you."

He held his hand out. Kate saw a scrap of paper in between his fingers. "When I walked into the loft last night after picking Alexis up at the morgue, she was sitting in my damn office."

"Sophia?"

"Who else? I nearly had a heart attack."

"And you couldn't tell me this last night when you called concerned about my well-being?"

"I was concerned about your well-being."

"What is that in your hand?"

"Blakely's bank account information. Sophia and her team are prohibited from looking into it because Blakely was a U.S. citizen, and these are all domestic bank accounts. Beckett, she wants us on this case."

***CCC***

"This had to have been the craziest case ever," Kate said when they walked into her apartment later that night. "I can't believe that everything was connected to one little girl."

"I can't believe that Sophia was working for the other side," Castle walked over and sat down on the sofa.

"Castle, I'm sorry," she walked over and sat down next to him. "But think of the good that we did today. We saved a little girl's life."

"But we can never talk about that."

"I know. Do you want some wine? I have some in the kitchen."

"Yeah, that would be nice," he forced himself to smile.

Standing in the kitchen, pouring two glasses of wine, Kate thought about the last conversation that she'd had with Sophia before everything went to hell. They had been in the basement bunker trying to identify a mysterious Chinese girl, who was the linchpin that was going to start World War III.

"You like him?" Kate asked, referring to Castle, who had just left the room to go get them all coffee.

"I did. Once," Sophia's voice was wistful.

"S-so what happened? If you don't my asking."

"Well, um, well, you ever . . . meet someone and—have that intense attraction right away. You know, that tension?" Kate nodded. She knew exactly what Sophia was talking about. "Well, we fought it for months, and then we just couldn't stand it anymore. But afterward, it—it was like that tension was all we had really, and without it, all we were left with was that . . . well, those things that drove us crazy about each other. I mean, you know how he can be."

"Yeah," Kate agreed. "Yeah, I do."

"Sometimes I wish we had never slept together. Had kept that longing."

"Here," Kate held out a glass.

"Thank you. So, you really think that she was lying about knowing my father?"

"I don't know, Rick. I think that she lied about a lot of things. I do know one thing."

"What's that?"

"Watching spy thrillers is a lot more fun that being in one."

"Yeah," he leaned forward and kissed her. "I guess that tomorrow you get to return to work and be a normal NYPD detective again. Maybe the CIA repaired your car to be better than ever."

"I'm just happy to no longer have to keep secrets from the boys and Capt. Gates."

"Come on, you have to admit that watching Gates' face contort when you told her that we couldn't talk about our mission was fun."

"Okay, I enjoyed that part a little, but Castle, if I want to make lieutenant or even captain one day, I can't go around pissing off my boss. Agreed?"

"Agreed. But hey, she likes you."

"Let's take a shower and I'll show you how much I like you. Okay?"

"I can't pass that offer up," he placed his wine glass on the table and followed Kate to her bedroom, closing the door behind them.

A/N #2: I did a little more recapping in this chapter than I wanted to, but it was the only way for some parts to make sense. The next chapters won't be as difficult as this one was.

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