A/N: If anyone is interested, I have a playlist of songs that remind me of Alec on Youtube Music called Alec (494). Feel free to let me know what you think or what songs you would add.
Chapter 6: Morning After
I groan as the bits of sunlight that stream through the cracks in the boarded window seem to hit the precise angle necessary to strike my face and wake me up. The next sensation that hits me is a pounding in my head like someone is dribbling a ball inside my skull. Why am I sleeping on the couch and why do I feel like I've just come out the wrong side of a botched engagement? Groggily, I attempt to recall what happened and a memory of my own voice bubbles up out of the recesses of my mind.
"Double or nothing."
Oh, that's right. I'd gotten drunk with Alec (and in my mind it only makes sense to think of him more and more as Alec because 494 would never have shared a drink with 613). Well, to be more precise, I'd gotten drunk while he'd watched with that damned amused look on his face.
Of course, it took more than that first glass of Mother's Milk to get me drunk, but some idiot (my eidetic memory of my voice upping the ante on our bet indicates that it was most likely me) decided to keep playing from that point. Double or nothing. I must have had a death wish.
I recall that by the end of the night, it had become almost a challenge to see if I could actually finish all the drinks I'd won. It startles me that I can't actually remember if I was able to do so. What I do remember seems vague and out of focus until suddenly my recall just stops. So, I guess that's what being drunk is like.
It doesn't matter. All that matters is that my head is certainly going to explode any moment now. I don't care if it was me who said double or nothing. This has to be Alec's fault. He's the one who introduced me to that poison, after all.
Groaning again, I sit up and instantly regret it. The room spins wildly around me for a moment and it takes just about everything I've got to keep from vomiting. I breathe slowly through my nose and eventually equilibrium returns. I gingerly get up and stumble into the kitchen, feeling desperate for some water.
A knock at the door assaults my ears, feeling as loud to my tortured brain as close-range gunshots. I cringe and start for the door, swearing that if I'm still alive by the time I reach it, I'm going to murder whoever is on the other side. However, the caller doesn't wait for me. Instead he opens the door after the fourth knock and strides in.
"Good morning, sunshine." 494 says brightly upon seeing me, "Dropped by to see how you're doing."
I growl at him in response and return to my clumsy quest for fluids. I hear him laugh softly and if the thought of moving back across the room didn't seem so insurmountable, I'd march over there and punch him. Instead I tilt my head under the faucet to drink some water. Once my parched throat is satisfied, I collapse into a chair at the table and drop my head to rest it on the cool surface, wishing the masochist with the ice pick would stop trying to perform amateur lobotomies on my brain.
"Hangover?" 494 asks.
"Gee, you think?" I reply sarcastically, still facedown on the table.
"Sorry. I've been there. The dangers of Mother's Milk. Here." he rummages around in his jacket pockets and eventually produces a few pills, "I thought you might be feeling the effects of last night so I brought you some painkillers. They're actually some pretty serious tranquilizers, but they should help a bit."
I would declare him a saint if I hadn't already decided that my predicament is his fault to begin with. I snatch the pills from his hand faster than I thought I was capable of moving at present. I dry swallow them quickly, hoping the faster I take them, the faster they will take effect. 494 sort of half-smiles at me as he watches my actions. Just like he did the night before.
494/Alec leaned against his pool cue and half-smiled as he watched me line up my shot. By that point I was sure he was letting me win. He let me break each time, virtually eliminating his chances of winning. Unless, of course, I somehow screwed up.
I glanced up at him suspiciously, wondering if that was his plan, if he was expecting me to screw up. One look at his face and I dispelled that thought. He was having fun. He didn't mind losing.
"You don't look too concerned, Alec." I said as I sunk another ball, "I'm beginning to think you want to get me drunk."
"Me?" he asked innocently, eyes wide.
I laughed and he grinned what I'd already come to think of as his trademark grin, the innocent look disappearing.
I circled the pool table, coming to his side for my next shot. I gently nudged him out of the way with my hip as I leaned over to line it up.
"Why ever would I do that?" he asked, his breath tickling the back of my neck as he whispered in my ear.
I shivered and my shot went wild, only managing to sink a ball out of sheer luck. 494 raised his eyebrows.
"Nice bank shot."
I shot him a look, but quickly looked away again before he could see the confusion in my face. I wondered if he knew what he was doing to me. Especially since I wasn't even sure.
"You're a jackass, you know." I inform him.
494 spreads his hands in disbelief, looking indignant.
"I bring you painkillers and I'm a jackass? Have you been hanging around Max?" he asks suspiciously, pulling the chair out across the table from me, spinning it around and seating himself in it backwards.
"Of course not. I was too busy letting you get me wasted." I say pointedly.
"Oh, so it's my fault you decided to drink yourself under the table? On my tab, let me remind you, and that shit is not cheap. Damn, I am such an asshole." he says sarcastically, rolling his eyes.
"Don't roll your eyes at me. You were letting me win and you know it." I accuse.
"So?"
"So my hangover is therefore completely your fault."
"How do you get that from me letting you win?"
I can't believe my ears.
"We bet on every game. Loser buys the winner a drink. Remember?"
"Yeah, I remember." he nods.
"And you still don't see how this is your fault?"
"Nope."
"Idiot." I snap, giving up.
"Hey, just 'cause I wanted to let you kick my ass at pool, let you have a little fun, doesn't mean that I wanted to see you in pain the next day. I'll make sure to wipe the floor with you next time. Besides, if I remember correctly, it was you who made the drinks part of the bargain." he finishes smugly.
Damn it. Why did he have to point that out? "Okay, so maybe it's not all your fault." I admit quietly, looking down at the floor.
The grungy tile offers a distraction from the smug, triumphant look that I'm sure is on 494's face. I'm surprised when I feel a hesitant hand on my arm. I never even heard him get up.
"Hey." he says softly and I feel like I have no choice but to look at him.
When I look up, I find that I can't say anything. I'm simply caught, fascinated by the depths in his eyes as he looks at me. He has always had such power, such presence in his eyes, even when they were cold. 494 was never withdrawn or distant. He has always been a definite presence in whatever he's doing, whether he's being a callous soldier, hunting down two escaped X5s, or being the concerned friend that he is now. Friend? Is that what he is to me now? Regardless, there is no triumph on his face, only concern.
"I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have let you drink so much of that crap."
"Alec?"
"Yeah?"
"I...just...thank you." I say the only words that seem to make sense.
"What? Why?" he asks, confused.
"Thank you for...for just being Alec, I guess, and for letting me be Jess. Thank you for being the 494 that I knew you could be on the outside if you were just given the chance. Thank you for...being my friend?" that last is a question, asking him if I've gone too far in making the assumption that we're friends.
I glance up at him worriedly, wondering what his reaction will be. Slowly, a smile appears on his face. I feel a similar one appear on my own as I realize that he is pleased with my words.
"Any time." he says, cautiously pulling me to my feet and enfolding me in a gentle hug.
Once again he holds me as if he's expecting to be pushed away at any second. But I won't push him away. I can't. Not when it feels so good to be held in his arms. I realize suddenly that despite the fact that I once tried with all my might to escape him, I now want nothing more than to be held close by him, to be surrounded by his warm, strong arms, to inhale his scent, to feel the rising and falling of his chest as he breathes. I've never before in my life felt such a sense of security like the one that blooms inside of me in this moment. What is this?
I lay my head against his chest and listen to the soft beating of his heart. With all the crazed whirlwind of thoughts and emotions going on inside of me in regards to 494, the sound of his heartbeat is steadying. It doesn't matter who he is to me or how I feel about him or what our connection is. He's here. That's all that matters.
"So...head feel better?" he finally asks.
"Yeah." I mumble in reply, not really thinking about what he's asked me.
"Okay. Well, I'd better go, then." he says, releasing me from his arms and taking a step back.
I instantly feel cold and alone. I can't keep from wrapping my arms around myself, but it's a poor substitute.
"Will I see you later?" I ask, struggling to control the panicked sense of abandonment he leaves in his wake.
"Yeah, sure. I'll drop by later. Got some stuff to do." he says vaguely as he heads for the door.
"Alec?" I call, feeling an urgent need to stop him from leaving.
He pauses with his hand on the doorknob.
"What?"
I sigh.
"Nothing."
A second later he's gone.
I am growing way too attached to him. I know that. I also know that it's dangerous to form such attachments. Especially now when our lives are so dangerous, our future so uncertain. I'm only endangering us both by letting it happen, but I can't seem to stop myself. He pervades my thoughts and makes me feel things that I've never felt before. And while I called him a friend a few moments before, I know that he is more than that. Kira is my friend. 494...Alec is clearly something else entirely.
When Kira eventually wakes, I decide not to mention my night out with Alec or the resulting hangover. Instead, by some sort of mutual unspoken agreement, we put the problems of the previous day behind us and instead head out together to grab something to eat from the Mess and then report to HQ for our assignments.
Once again we find Max at the center of the flurry of activity inside the building. She's standing at a large table with various other transgenics seated around it, gesturing at something spread out on the table between them. Obviously, she's in the middle of some kind of mission briefing.
I exchange a glance with Kira, wondering if we should venture closer to hear what's going on. This isn't Manticore, but the command structure is pretty ingrained in us all and I'm not sure where the two of us fall in the Terminal City hierarchy just yet.
"Maxie! Did you start without me again?"
Almost every head in the building turns at 494's entrance. In fact, a hush settles over the previously noise-filled command center and several eyes track back and forth between him and Terminal City's leader.
Max straightens slowly and deliberately before she turns towards 494. Her body language practically radiates anger even from across the room. I glance over at 494, but he doesn't appear at all concerned. In fact, his stance is almost the opposite of hers: relaxed and lazy.
"Alec." Max practically growls, "My office. Now."
"Little early for a nooner, Maxie." he teases, rolling his eyes as he strides in what I assume is the direction of her office.
Max is a blur as she springs from the briefing table across the room to intercept him. She grabs him by the collar of his jacket and force-marches him the remaining distance down a hall.
"Hey!" 494 protests, "Get off me!"
Max ignores him, yanking open a door and shoving him roughly inside. She follows after him and the door slams shut behind her. A few more loud crashes follow, then what sounds like 494 yelping in pain. I look around to see how the others are taking this clear sign of problems between their leadership, but it seems like everyone is now turning back to whatever they were doing before the disruption. It's almost as if this is par for the course. I recall some of 494's earlier commentary about Max threatening to kick his ass and realize that maybe it is.
"Well, that was interesting." Kira remarks.
"Kira? Jess?" a different voice calls and I recognize Sierra, the perimeter guard from the other day as she waves to us from a platform along the side of the room where a number of computers and screens are positioned, "Hey, how are you guys settling in?"
Kira waves back and we both head over to meet the other X-series as she descends the steps from the platform to meet us. I'm just about to answer her question when the sound of Max's furious yelling distracts me. Despite the distance and the closed door, she's loud enough that transgenic hearing makes her words fairly clear to most everyone in the building.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!"
Her demand is followed by another loud crash.
"Jesus, Max! Calm down. Staplers don't grow on trees." 494 exclaims.
"You know goddamn well what time the morning meeting is, Alec!" Max continues as if he hasn't spoken.
"Uh...is this normal?" Kira asks, clearly also tuned into the argument.
Sierra grins and nods, "About as regular as rain around here. Don't worry about it."
I nod and try to ignore them like everyone else seems to be doing, but then my ears pick up on something I can't ignore.
"...and don't think I don't know about you getting the new girl drunk on that crap Mole makes! Do I need to add a warning about Alec the man-whore trying to take advantage of newbies to the welcome tour?"
Frowning, I can't help but move closer and listen for his response. It's not that I think Max is right. I just can't help but wonder what he'll tell her about whatever this is that the two of us have going on.
"It wasn't even like that, Max." 494 protests.
"Yeah, right. What's the dealio then?" Max challenges, clearly not believing him.
"None of your business." 494 snaps, "Contrary to what you might think, you don't know everything about me, Max."
"I know enough."
"Whatever. Are you done with your tirade yet? 'Cause if there's nothing T.C.-related you need me for, then I'm out."
"Of course there is, you idiot. That's why you're supposed to be at the meeting!"
Sierra places a hand on my shoulder to stop me from moving any closer to the source of the noise. She gestures with a nod of her head for me to follow her back the opposite way.
"Yeah, I'd say they'll be at it for another five to ten before they get the meeting going again." she predicts. She waves a hand to dismiss it, "Anyway, I was hoping to run into you guys again soon. Have you been assigned to a position yet? If you're more of a night model, we could definitely use a few more bodies on perimeter patrols. Oh, actually, can either of you cook? Nothing against Joshua but a girl can only eat so much mac 'n cheese."
I force my mind off Max and Alec's conversation and back to the discussion with Sierra. Turns out Terminal City is pretty well organized already, despite only being under siege for a week. Of course, this is basically what we were made for, so I shouldn't be surprised. Still, I can't help but wonder what the overall objective is here. How do they think this is going to end? Are we just going to keep hiding behind these walls forever? Or do they think that things can change somehow? What, exactly, are we all fighting for?