Chapter 17: Bedside Manner
My eyes fly open as I hear rapid footsteps approaching Alec's door. A moment later the door flies open and Krit enters. My brow furrows slightly in surprise and confusion. What's Krit doing here?
"There you are!" Krit says, hurrying over and kneeling next to Alec and me. He places a hand on Alec's shoulder and gently shakes him, "Wake up, man. We need you at the infirmary."
Alec groans and I release him from my embrace.
"Max?" he demands before he even appears to be fully awake.
"Yeah, Max." Krit agrees, "But it's not what you think. She's okay. She's just freaking out. She won't listen to anybody. We need you to come talk to her."
Alec nods. He places one hand on the ground and pulls his legs under him before pushing himself up. He looks a little shaky for a second, but then his strength seems to return. Krit offers me a hand and pulls me to my feet. My legs feel like rubber, but I force them to support me. Krit looks at me questioningly and I nod. I seem to be able to stand under my own power, although my whole body feels stiff and tender.
Krit leads the way out the door and down the stairs of the apartment complex. The stairs are difficult. Both men watch me like they think I'll collapse any second. I take it slow, but I'm determined not to prove them right, even if I do actually feel like collapsing. It's all mind over matter, right? That's what Manticore taught us.
"What the mind can conceive, the body can accomplish. Repeat that for me, soldiers!" Lydecker said as he walked down the line of juvenile soldiers, glaring at each of us in turn.
We were lined up in front of the pool, waiting for another session on holding our breaths.
"What the mind can conceive, the body can accomplish, sir!" we all shouted.
"Is it possible to remain underwater for over four minutes without drowning?"
"Yes, sir!"
Lydecker stopped in front of me.
"Then, why don't you show us, 613?"
I cringed inwardly, but saluted.
"Yes, sir!" I shouted and ran for the edge of the pool.
I lowered myself into the freezing cold water and swam for the bottom. Along the bottom of the pool were metal bars with shackles attached to them. I clamped a pair around my ankles and prepared for a long wait.
I had never been in the pool alone before. It was unsettling not having a strong presence like 772 or 857 next to me. The water was so cold. I felt like my lungs were frozen.
I looked up. I could see Lydecker and my unit looking down at me.
Hadn't it been four minutes yet? I needed air. My vision was starting to become fuzzy. There wasn't enough oxygen reaching my brain. I could feel my limbs going numb as my body refocused the direction of my blood flow, carrying more oxygen to my vitals. My heart was beating rapidly, trying to compensate. I could hear my pulse pounding in my ears.
I struggled. There was some kind of mistake. It had been four minutes. It had to have been four minutes.
They were going to drown me. The realization dawned on me, one crystal clear thought in my muddled mind. I was the weak link in my unit. They were going to get rid of me and make me an example to the others all at once.
I looked up again and found 772's face. We were usually paired together, the two of us. Her eyes encouraged me, told me to remain calm. I kept my eyes fixed on hers until the shackles on my ankles suddenly released. Startled, I raced for the surface and gasped in air. That was the first time I had ever passed that exercise.
When I make it to the bottom of the stairs, I pause for a moment to recover.
"Are you alright, Jess?" Alec asks, his eyes searching mine.
"I'm fine." I reply, mimicking him, and he rolls his eyes back at me with a smile.
I follow Krit and Alec out the door and I'm immensely grateful that Alec doesn't live very far from the center of TC where HQ and the infirmary are located.
I can hear Max screaming from down the street.
"Well, that's not a good sign." Alec comments, eyebrows raised, "Usually the yelling doesn't start until after I've arrived."
"She's been like that ever since she regained consciousness. My ears are still ringing." Krit complains.
"Great."
Alec pauses before the infirmary door and seems to be preparing himself for another fight. He takes a deep breath, then pushes the door open. I follow and Krit enters last, seeming rather reluctant to get any closer to the noise. There's a depressing number of wounded all around the infirmary, more than the beds can hold, but all eyes are drawn to Max.
"Hey, Maxie. What's up?" Alec asks casually as he approaches.
"Alec! Where the hell have you been?" Max demands.
Syl is trying to hold her down on one of the beds, but she shoves her away and sits up. She looks even worse than my reflection did in Alec's mirror and there's an IV attached to her arm, but her eyes are bright and alert, flashing with anger.
"Well..." Alec begins, but is immediately interrupted.
"You jackass! I thought you'd been killed. I mean, there was no way you could've taken on that many Familiars alone. I was there, I know. And then, you take your sweet time to show up and let me know you're okay. You're such a jerk, you know that?" Max shrieks.
"Yeah, I know. Damn me and my helping you out, trying to save your life. I'll have to work on that." Alec replies sarcastically.
"Helping me out? You call putting yourself in danger so that I have to risk my neck to save your ass helping me out?"
"Oh, that's exactly what happened. Right."
"Are you calling me a liar?"
"If the shoe fits."
"I am so gonna kick your ass!"
"Somebody save me, a handicapped transgenic is after me!"
"I'm not handicapped, I'm fine."
"Well, you sure look like hell."
"You..."
"Guys!" Krit yells suddenly, "Would you both please take it down like fifty decibels? You're killing me."
"Shut up, Krit." Max and Alec both snap.
I can't stand any longer. I find a wall and lean back against it, slowly sinking back to the floor. Alec immediately notices my movement and comes to my side, kneeling before me.
"Are you really okay?" he asks.
"I'll be fine. I just need to sit for a minute." I assure him.
"Did you get her beat up, too?" Max snaps.
Alec stiffens instantly. I can see the hurt in his eyes for a fraction of a second before all emotion disappears from those hazel depths and he stands up, turning slowly back towards Max.
"Glad to see you're okay, Max." Alec says evenly.
Max opens her mouth to make another comment, but pauses. Her brow furrows for a moment as if she's thinking hard about something or is confused. Maybe it's dawning on her that her comments can actually affect him.
"Look, Alec. I need your help. We've got to start getting everything back together." Max finally says, changing the subject and no longer shouting.
"About that, you got any ideas about where we're going to go? I'm thinking TC has been pretty much compromised to hell and back." Alec moves a little bit closer to Max's bedside, almost like he's testing the waters, seeing how close he can get before she starts yelling again.
Max nods, but says nothing. I have a sneaking suspicion that she has no idea what we're going to do now and, generally, when your leader is clueless, you're in trouble.
"Jess?"
My head snaps around to face a bed across the room. Kira is lying in it. It appears that she just woke up. How she slept through all Max's shouting, I have no idea, but she's rubbing her eyes and scooting back to prop her back against the pillows. Maybe she'd been sedated.
"Kira." I say, struggling to get up again.
Krit helps me up again and walks with me over to Kira's bedside, then goes and finds me a chair that I sink into gratefully. I feel Alec's eyes watching me from across the room, but focus on my friend.
"Are you okay?" I ask her.
"Yeah, I'm alright." she says, "I just got hit in the shoulder. Max was way worse when they brought her in. We weren't sure she was going to make it at first. She almost fell into a coma. But she woke up about an hour ago and has been yelling about Alec and Joshua, demanding to see them and make sure they're okay. Joshua came by right away, but no one could find Alec. I guess I kind of tuned her out and fell asleep."
"I'm surprised she's as...uh...lively as she is." Krit agrees, "She should be dead asleep right now, recovering."
"I'm quite aware." I say dryly, "I ran into a few Familiars myself."
"I can see that." Kira says, eyes narrowing slightly as she looks me over, "Are you okay?"
"I've been asked that a lot lately. Yes, I'm fine. Just a little shaky. I just need time to recoup."
Kira nods, accepting my diagnosis. Kira doesn't usually doubt me, which is another reason why her vehement objection to Alec is so strange.
"I hear Krit bailed you out?" I ask.
"More like assisted." Krit says, "I just happened to be in the neighborhood."
"Well, thanks." I say, quietly, "I'm sorry I wasn't there."
"Jess." Kira protests. I know she doesn't appreciate me suggesting she needs someone 'babysitting' her, but I still feel like I need to express my gratitude to Krit and my guilt over not being there when she needed me.
The infirmary door suddenly opens and we all turn our heads to see Dix enter.
"Hey, Max. You're awake. Logan's been on the computer for hours trying to get a hold of you. I've been trying to get rid of him, but he won't listen." Dix reports.
Max sighs.
"Is there any way you can get a hookup in here?" Syl asks, glaring at Max until she gives up on protesting that she can get up.
"Be right back." Dix nods, disappearing back out the door.
"What are you going to tell him?" Alec asks, "Are you going to break the news to him? Tell him you've got to skip town?"
Max remains silent.
"Max?" Alec presses.
"I don't know, okay? Back off." she bursts out, "Just leave me alone."
"Do you still want me to...um...you know...play my part?" Alec asks quietly.
Max pauses. It appears that she's considering whatever Alec is talking about.
"Maybe." she says finally.
"Do you know what they're talking about?" Krit whispers.
"No idea." I reply.
"Hmmm. I wonder what's up. But I suppose we'll find out since she won't get much privacy taking the call in here."
I nod mutely. I remember Alec mentioning that Max has some sort of complicated relationship with this Logan person, but I don't know exactly what his role is in all of this. Obviously, he's someone of some importance given the way Max and Alec are acting.
Finally, Dix returns carrying a laptop. He places it gently on Max's stomach and opens the screen to face her. A few quick taps on the keyboard and a voice comes out of the computer. I assume it must be Logan's.
"Hey, stranger. I've been trying to get a hold of you. I was a little worried about you, what with the government sending the troops in and all." he says, his voice sounding very intentionally casual but doing little to disguise the tension underneath.
"Well, as you can see, I'm fine."
"You're in a hospital bed, Max." Logan says shortly, abandoning any attempt to hide how upset he is now, "You look horrible. You should have contacted me. I could have helped."
"I'm perfectly fine and we're perfectly capable of handling our own problems, Logan." Max replies, her eyes flashing dangerously with growing aggravation.
"I've seen the news, Max. You call that handling it? CAT's reporting that they took down about sixty transgenics." Logan says, clearly either not noticing or not heeding the warning in Max's eyes, "Yeah, that's nice work. Obviously, you don't need any help at all. Obviously, you've..."
My eyes widen and my heart sinks at his words. Sixty transgenic casualties? Even if they are inflating the numbers for the press, that's still horrible to consider.
"Don't even pretend you know how it is in here. You think you could do a better job trying to protect hundreds of people that the entire world hates? You..." Max begins angrily.
Alec jumps to her side, interjecting before things can get any more heated.
"Hey, let's break this up, guys. I think we've had enough excitement around here for a while."
"Alec." Logan says dryly, clearly not thrilled to see him, "You're still around. I figured you'd have taken off by now."
"And miss the party? No way, Logie boy," he puts his arm around Max's shoulders, squeezing her gently, "Besides, I've got a lot of incentive to stick around."
My brow furrows in confusion. What exactly is Alec implying? He told me there wasn't anything between him and Max. Is this the 'part' he's supposed to play, making it look like he and Max are together? And if so, why?
"Whatever." Logan says darkly, "So, what are you going to do now? You have a plan?"
"We're working on it." Alec answers for Max.
"Well, when you do figure out what you're going to do or if you come to your senses and realize you might need some help, let me know. It's not safe in Terminal City anymore."
"We know, Logan." Max says, much calmer now that Alec has given her a chance to reign in her temper, "I'll let you know what we're going to do."
She hits a key on the keyboard and closes the computer before handing it back to Dix. She looks at Alec appreciatively and he gives her shoulders another very gentle squeeze before stepping back.
"So, apparently he didn't take your call screening very well." Alec comments.
"Apparently." Max agrees. She falls silent for a moment, then looks over at Alec, "Alec, I need to talk to you. You, Krit, Syl, and the others."
"I know, but not now. You've got to heal up a little before you start tackling anything else," he pauses and waggles his eyebrows playfully at her, "Unless, of course, it's me."
Max rolls her eyes.
"You're an idiot." she says.
Alec grins and I smile at their antics, my jealousy under control now that Alec and I have talked about this. Alec backs off, giving her space and joins me at Kira's bedside.
"So who's this Logan guy?" I ask Alec softly when he leans against the wall next to me.
Alec rolls his eyes at my question. He watches Krit, Syl, and Lena caring for other wounded while he answers.
"Logan is Max's former 'we're not like that' boyfriend. He hasn't been dealing well with the former part. I mean, Max is only not with him to protect him. She's finally realized that she's a danger to him. But he's too...whatever to see that. You really have to meet him. He's one of those rich guys who are all aware of the suffering of the people somehow. He's tons of fun."
"I take it you don't like him much." Kira remarks.
"Hey, I love Logan." Alec says, but I get the distinct impression that he doesn't mean it at all.
"So, about your...um...part?" I venture.
"Oh. That. I forgot to tell you. Max told Logan that we were together to sort of push him away. I didn't have the heart to tell him the truth, so I've been playing the part of Max's boyfriend to help her out. One of these days she'll fess up and tell him. I know she will, but that's too much for her to deal with right now with all that's been going on." Alec explains, "Didn't get the wrong idea did you?"
I shake my head and smile.
"Max would probably kill within the day if you two were together any more than you are already." I tease.
"You're probably right." Alec agrees, "Here I thought I was pretty damn lovable."
"What do you think is going to happen now?" I ask.
"If it was me, I'd say split up for a while. Lay low until we find another place where we can stay. TC is nice because the norms can't stay here for too long. I don't know how easy it'll be to find another place like this."
"Splitting up and laying low is probably the safest plan." Kira agrees.
I choose not to comment on the fact that Kira and Alec are actually agreeing on something. I'm still too exhausted to put up with any more animosity. Besides that, I don't particularly enjoy the thought of splitting up. It's kind of nice to be surrounded by others like me again. I've missed that feeling of belonging and I can't imagine when I will ever experience the immediate acceptance I've felt in Terminal City again. Plus, what if Alec and I have to split up? Max will need Alec with her and I'm new to this operation. I have no right to go with Max and her team. No, Kira and I will probably be put off on our own once again and who knows if I'll ever see Alec again after that. I frown at the thought. The few days we've spent together really have changed everything in my world. Just as life without Kira was unimaginable before, life without Alec is unbearable to consider now.
"What's wrong, Jess?" Alec asks, noticing my frown.
"Nothing." I lie.
It's really difficult to lie convincingly to the two people who know me better than anyone else in the world. Both of them send me looks that show they're not convinced.
"Did you fail deception training or something because you are seriously one horrible liar." Alec teases.
"I'm fine at lying. You two just know me too well." I reply, crossing my arms indignantly.
"She lies about as well as an X6 jumps." Kira remarks.
"Ouch. Poor X6s." Alec laughs.
What the heck is going on here? Did Kira and Alec just team up together to make fun of me? I wonder if they gave Kira some kind of drugs. The idea that Kira may be learning to stand Alec is lost amidst my indignation over their remarks.
"If I didn't feel so horrible, I'd leave. I don't have to take this." I declare.
"Well, that lie was a little better." Alec comments to Kira.
"She's improving." Kira nods, smirking slightly.
I glare at them both and struggle to stand up. In a split second, Alec is standing over me and pushing me back into my chair.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Don't get up. You need to rest a little. Geez, you and Max. You just don't seem to get the whole letting yourself heal thing, do you?"
"You're one to talk." I say, but my voice lacks any real sting to it.
"Hey, I'm fine. Check it out." Alec says, lifting his shirt.
The bandage is gone and despite my fears it looks like he hasn't exacerbated the injury too much. It's not pretty and he'll need to rebandage it, but it could be much worse. I reach out a hand to brush my fingers against his skin, feeling somehow like I need that extra reassurance that he's still in one piece, before I smile slightly.
"I should show off this baby while I've got it," Alec muses, "Chicks dig scars."
I give him a disgusted look.
"Hey, you couldn't keep your hands off me." Alec smirks.
"Obviously, you're feeling better." I say, rolling my eyes.
"Sleep is good." Alec nods quickly, "You know what else is good? Food. You hungry? I'll get some food for you guys. Might as well take advantage of the mess hall while we've still got it."
Alec doesn't wait for a response, but hurries out of the room. I watch him leave, my head cocked to the side curiously. His abrupt departure is a little strange and I wonder what's going on with him now.
"Well, this was nice while it lasted, I guess." Kira muses, drawing my attention back to her.
I look over at my friend, brow furrowed slightly.
"This." Kira explains, gesturing around as if to indicate everything around us, "Terminal City."
"Yeah." I agree, "I'm sorry it played out like this."
"We should probably split soon."
I glance at Kira in surprise. Why leave any sooner than we have to?
"I'm fine and you should be okay to move pretty soon. We should get moving as soon as possible before CAT has a chance to attack again or start tracking us down. A bunch of transgenics swarming out of the city will be conspicuous. We should go before all that starts happening." Kira says.
I can tell by the look she's giving me that she knows I don't want to go. I want to stay as long as possible. But she's right. Now is the best time to leave, before everything gets crazy. We could slip out now while everyone is still trying to recover from the attack. The going will be slow for a while while I regain my strength, but we'll still be making progress, putting distance between us and this place. I frown.
"You're right." I say quietly, staring at the floor.
"Hey, I don't want to leave either." Kira says, the tone of her voice making me lift my eyes to look at her.
I catch her glance slide sideways for a split second. Turning my head, I see she was glancing in Krit's direction. I bite back a smile and nod. Guess I was right about Kira liking him.
"I know." I agree, "Why don't we have some of the food Alec's bringing, rest for a little, and then we'll go. Who knows the next time we'll have a meal ready for us."
Kira accepts the truth of my statement with a small nod and leans back on her pillow.
"Or a comfortable bed." she comments.
My thoughts skip back to the night I spent on Alec's bed with him.
He grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him. I let myself be pulled down, resting my head on his chest and pulling my feet up onto the bed, carefully resting my injured leg on top of my good one. He wrapped his arms around me and I felt like I could happily spend the rest of my life in this position.
"Jess?"
I glance up at Kira, realizing that I'd been a little absorbed in my reminiscing.
"Hmm?" I ask.
"What are you thinking about when you do that? God, I've never seen an X5 get so wrapped up in their own thoughts." Kira remarks, "I was asking if you had any idea where we should go."
I shake my head, "I don't know."
I can't think about leaving anymore. Not when we've just gotten here. I've just barely found Alec again.
Swirling the drink in my glass, I turned my back to the bar and checked out the people in the room.
My drink suddenly shattered on the floor. Memories flashed in my mind, but I still couldn't believe what I was seeing.
I rose from my seat and slowly walked across the room. He still hadn't noticed me. He was busy talking smoothly to a scantily clad blonde. He seemed so different from the last time I saw him and yet it couldn't be anyone else.
"494." I breathed when I froze about six feet behind him.
How different my life would be now if he'd never decided to disobey protocol and stop by that bar. I would still be 613 doing an extended exercise in escape and evade, never really taking the chance to live. As much as I hated life at Manticore, I never really left it behind until I found the person who had been ordered to take me back to it. It's horribly ironic.
But none of that matters. We have to lay low again if we want to survive.
Except that it does matter. Now that I'm Jess, a person and not a number, I can't revert to my old ways, not completely. Alec has ruined that for me. I try to be angry with him for messing up my life, but it seems like I have no more anger left in me. It's like I used it up during all those years I spent hating him.
"We could try Canada." I offer.