Snippet 38

Silver Eyes ex Machina

Genre: Humor/Parody

Pairs: None

Parody: RWBY/Dragon Ball Super/Team Fortress 2

AU-Type: Canon-eqsue AU

Tags: Mocking of Tropes, Memes, Mocking of Volume 5

-(The Battle of Haven)-

"Aaah! Crap!" Ruby said as she was thrown into the wall of the hall of Haven Academy.

Coming up to her was Hazel, Cinder, and Raven who were all laughing deviously at the fallen rose. Ruby's aura was frantically trying to heal her wounds as she got up on shaky legs.

"You've lost, Ruby. You can not beat us." Cinder said only to hear the opening of a soda can from Ruby.

"What the hell is she doing?" Weiss said trying to cling to life as Jaune was trying to heal her.

"Bring it." Ruby said downing the can of Plot Armor Punch before dropping the can on the ground.

"Hit me, Ruby, I dare you." Cinder said.

As if the world slowed down, Ruby used her semblance to speed past the three as a badass theme song started up.

[Cues: Ultra Instinct Theme Instrumental]

A silver light shined as the group turned to see Ruby's who Silver Eyes suddenly gained relevance as her aura took a silver appearance.

"What's this now?" Hazel said trying to punch her.

Ruby used her speed to flash step her away past each punch as Hazel kept missing by a hair only hitting air.

"Stand still you bitch!" Hazel roared as he kept missing.

Ruby now stood in front of Cinder as Hazel stabbed Fire Dust into his arm and punched…only for Ruby to dodge it leaving Cinder to get hit. Considering she wove Fire Dust into her clothes, this made Cinder a literal fire hazard to any form of foreign fire dust. Too bad, she did not have plot armor. The blow hit and both Cinder and Hazel exploded before a bloody mess. Ruby reappeared in the center of the room as her song ended and she blazed with the Fall Maiden's power.

[Music Ends]

"Give up?" Ruby said smugly.

"Fuck this." Raven said making a portal with her sword. "Vernal, we're leaving!"

Vernal limped bloody and beaten into the portal due to Weiss's time distillation glyphs. Weiss actually remembered that she had them and promptly stomped the bandit into the dirt. An exhausted Blake woke up on top of Yang's hair.

"Did we win?" Blake asked groggily.

"Get the fuck off my hair!" Yang roared.

Emerald and Mercury had realized they were screwed, but they were glad they were not Lionheart as Oscar was beating him to death with Ozpin's cane. Ozpin did not exactly want to forgive Lionheart for this betrayal.

(A/N: A parody that's a cross of a TF2 Ultra Instinct video and Team Four Star. I recall a guest anon asking me why I give Blake the short of the stick often. Well, the reason is a bit complicated. Blake is a good concept for a character, but my contempt comes for how she's written. Cinder's Fall from Grace was a bit of an exploration on how Blake's character is pretty toxic. Island Hell was a bit more of having Blake as comedic relief. As canon goes, Blake's a "do as I say, not as I do" character, a toxic person in relationships with friends and family, really has no reason to be in the White Fang (since Vol.4 revealed Menagerie's a safe haven for Faunus and she's basically a wealthy princess), and never gets called out on her cowardice. She's pretty much my least favorite member of Team RWBY aside from Ruby herself. But I hope you all enjoyed this short burst of fun tearing on the poor writing of Volume 5!)