I woke up from a nightmare. I felt tears in my eyes. I looked around to recognize my surroundings. My room. My nightmare had been about… someone leaving me behind. Something about fire. I grabbed my pillow and cried into it, trying to decide to go looking for Siegfried or someone to find him for me. I wouldn't know where to start. This place is too huge.
It's either go seek comfort or stay in bed and try to weather the storm of sadness like a brave knight. I decided to try both. I got up, holding my pillow, and walked to my dresser and pulled out one of my many capes to use as a blanket for if I gave up and couldn't find my way back to my room. With that I began my journey. Gilbird was still asleep up in his nest.
I shoved my door open and started walking. I never realized how scary the castle looked in the dark. I tried to remind myself that God was with me but that didn't seem to help. So I reminded myself how awesome I am. Awesome trumps fear. Together it worked for a while until I noticed the scary noises outside the windows. I started running down the halls but as my fear grew I slowed from running to sprinting to walking to shuffling and finally placing one foot directly in front of the other. I was beginning to wish I'd stayed in bed, especially at the loud bang and flash of light. My first thought was weapons. I'm sad to say that I fled.
I was lost completely in the dark castle when my bravery returned. I didn't recognize this part of the castle. It was then I realized I hadn't brought Cocoa, I hadn't been able to. I had needed both hands. One for the cape and one for my pillow. I sat down next to the wall and set my pillow down and covered up. I was given my answer to the loud bang and flash when I heard water hitting against the window. The water was soothing to hear. It helped me calm down enough to keep searching.
I went back the way I came and determined that I should open the doors as I went. Maybe a knight would be in there. Thankfully, or unfortunately either one, I began to feel sleepy again, having forgotten my fear a while ago thanks to the sound of pitter patter of rain. Now that I was calmer I could kind of understand my surroundings. Feeling tired I made my way through the castle using my distant memory of what the castle layout was in the daytime. I shoved and pushed on the familiar door and was greeted with snoring. I walked over to the bed and hesitated. Am I sure this is Siegfried?
However another loud bang made me jump and I gasped, looking to the window in time to see the flash of light. "Siegfried! Siegfried-" The knight sat up and scooped me up from the floor and set me in their lap.
"What's wrong little knight?" It was indeed Siegfried. I cuddled into his chest as he rubbed my back.
"I had a nightmare and then there was a loud bang." I jumped as another sounded to prove my point. I whimpered. "The castle is scary and big at night too. There were things scraping at the windows."
"That would be the trees. The bangs are God's way of heralding rain and the flashes of light is our Lord God looking directly at the Earth, that's how powerful the one true God is."
"Trees don't scrape glass."
"They do if it's very windy outside. Surely you felt chill while you came to my room." I shook my head.
"Too scared to notice."
"How long were you out there?"
"I don't know."
"Let us pray you don't catch a cold. I assume on your own at such a young age the castle would seem big and scary at night."
"I got lost."
"Oh dear." He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me under his blankets. There I felt warm. "I believe that you said you had a nightmare."
"I forgot what it was about."
"Well you best get some sleep." I smiled.
"Can I sleep with you tonight?"
"Tonight, yes." With that he quieted but began to hum the tunes of hymns. I was lulled back to sleep, feeling safe again.
When I woke up next Siegfried was gone. I sat up. "Siegfried?"
"In here, Gilbert." I got off the bed to see he was running a bath. I quickly turned to flee. "Gilbert!" He called back. Except instead of escaping I ran right into Reginald who had opened the door.
"Grand Master Siegfried! I can't find- Gilbert? How did you get in here?" His voice went from panicked to curious.
"Bring our little knight to me. It's time for his bath." I ran between his legs before running down the halls. I had almost made it to the stairs when Regi picked me up by the back of my nightshirt. He put me in a proper hold.
"No!"
"Siegfried will be giving you your morning bath. You should be happy he chooses to spend his morning doing this. He has a meeting with Hariwini to attend."
"Fuck Hariwini!" I snapped.
"It was you who hit him. That was a rather long time out Master Siegfried set you."
"I'd do it again, I'm more important than him, he's not even part of our Order!" His face grew a bit stern.
"Gilbert, that's not nice. Not only that but saying such a thing comes quite close to breaking one of the Order's rules." Knowing talking to him would only end up with me getting punished I decided to keep my mouth shut. Breaking a rule of the Order, even for me, was severe.
I was carried back to Siegfried's room and set on my feet. I tried to get away but he had hold of my forearm now. He pulled off my nightshirt before setting me in the tub. The adults talked to each other as I was given a bath. When that was done I was picked up and dried off before being carried to my room wrapped in a towel, Reginald followed with my pillow and cape.
When we got there I was dressed in my tunic before he handed me to Regi. "Behave yourself Gilbert. I'll be back at noon. We'll have lunch and then I'll take you out to play, if you've behaved yourself." I whined and reached out for Siegfried.
"Siegfried!" He ruffled my hair and kissed my forehead. "Take me with you!"
"It'll be boring for you. We have some new recruits you need to test out. I'll be back sooner than you know." He kissed me again and walked away.
"Siegfried! Wait!" I struggled in Regi's grip but it just tightened. After a few minutes I stopped struggling. Regi started to rub my back and whisper soothing words to me. I refused to listen, like he didn't listen when I told them I wanted Siegfried. He began the walk to the dining room for breakfast. During that trip I laid my head down on his chest, resenting him. And Siegfried.
I was put in my chair at the table and given breakfast with chocolate milk. I refused to eat, still angry. However, when I learned I wouldn't be allowed to leave until I ate, I started eating, feeling even more salty. Though my anger began to ebb away with the more I drank and ate. I even asked for seconds and thirds of my milk.
Feeling better now I jumped out of my chair and went back to my room to grab my sword. I then went to find Izaak. Today I was going to see the differences in our swords. If Siegfried wanted to be a dick then fine. There were things I couldn't do with him here.
"Izaak!" I called as I tugged on his tunic. I'd found him talking to Blaz. He looked down.
"Hm?" He smiled. "Gilbert!" He looked at Blaz. "It's my best buddy." I glared at him.
"Don't patronize me!" I snapped. He ruffled my hair.
"Of course, sorry sir." I batted his hand away.
"I said don't!"
"Sorry. What's up?" I took my dagger- sword and sheath to hold it up to him. He raised a brow. "What's this?" I pointed at his sword.
"I'll let you see mine if you let me see yours."
"Ah! I get it." He removed his sword and sheath before letting it down. He took mine and unsheathed it to study it. I ignored him to study his sword. Yep. Way longer than mine. It was freaking taller than me for crying out loud! I grabbed hold of the hilt and started to pull. The sheath came with it, until Izaak grabbed hold of it. The sword - real sword - was unsheathed.
"What are you two doing?" Blaz demanded. "That sword is too dangerous, he can't lift it, and the Grand Master said no."
"Well he's not here is he?" I snapped. "Come on! I'm not going to use it, just look at it!" Blaz sighed.
"Fine. But I'm not a part of this." With that he walked away. Izaak grabbed hold of the tip of the sword and helped me to hold it. Way too heavy.
"Would you like a sword fight, Gilbert?" I nodded. He unsheathed my sword and held it out. "Would you like to use this one?" I shook my head. "Are you sure?" I narrowed my eyes at him, annoyed.
"Yes I'm sure." I swung the giant sword but that turned out to be a bad idea. I opened my eyes in shock as the sword tipped over and, refusing to let go, I went with it. It made a super loud clang as it fell to the floor, came back as it bounced a bit, and then more clanging. I struggled to pick it back up.
So this is what real knights carry. Izaak sheathed the giant sword and I quickly grabbed hold of it with both hands. He smiled and let me hold it. Then a shout was heard.
"Izaak! What are you doing? Gilbert, that's not your sword, it's Izaak's. Give it back at once." I glowered as I hugged the giant sword to me.
"We're just playing Reginald." Izaak defended. I looked up at Izaak curiously, lifting my head up a bit.
"I don't care. It's dangerous. Either take that back or I'll tell the Grand Master what you've done."
"Exactly what is that?" I watched them bicker as I continued to hold the sword, loosening up my grip just enough to keep holding it.
"Allowing Gilbert to hold something above his weapon artillery. The Grand Master says no for a reason, the sword clanging to the floor is one of them. He cannot hold it yet alone wield it. He's a child."
"Look at him, he's adorable!" Regi walked in and reached for the sword. I pulled it tighter to my chest. Izaak pulled it away from me, it slipped easily from my grip, and reattached it. "No need to tell Siegfried anything." As the sword had been taken, Regi instead scooped me up with both hands. "You'll get the kid into trouble. He means well."
"I'll think about it." Regi replied, sitting me on his hip as he walked out of the hall. I turned my head to look back at Izaak. He gave me an apologetic look before Regi turned a corner and he was out of sight. "The new recruits are in the courtyard ready to be tested. As always you shall go first." I looked up at him.
"Don't be mean."
"You two should really know better. You could have gotten hurt-"
"But you admit our swords are different. You don't get that upset when I swing my own sword around."
"When you can hold ten times your weight we'll talk." I giggled at his reply. "You know some of the recruits we took in last still have a bit of trouble holding a sword."
"They do?"
"Yes. A sword is heavy and very fittingly so. To wield a sword is a heavy burden. Especially when you have to use it. When you use it you are doing so in the name of Our Heavenly Father. After all, swords are not toys." I chuckled nervously.
"I guess I was using it like a toy."
"You were."
"It's still not fair."
"I know." He set me on my feet and opened the door. I walked out and saw how many men were attempting to enter the Order. Three rows of five. I marched to a spot in front of them, hoping they could all see me. Regi followed.
"You lot think you have what it takes to enter the Teutonic Order? Have any of you actually worked a day in your life?" Most of them mumbled or declared agreement. I didn't like it but clearly Regi did. He continued. I would have preferred them shout out together yes or no, being hesitant wasn't a good thing. What if they hesitated on the battlefield? One reason I hate new recruits but they were a necessary evil because without them the Order would die out and that would suck. I yelped in surprise when Regi lifted me to show me off.
"I'm a bloody show pony." I muttered to myself as he told them I was their first but one of the most important tests they would have. I was set back on my feet and I looked straight up to meet Regi's gaze.
"You may begin." He told me.
"Really? You're using me as a bloody show pony? Fine. If it's a show you want, it's a show you'll get. Why don't you go do something useful?" I snapped the question. He smiled.
"Very well." He said before turning and heading back to the castle door. I looked at the men. He wants a show, time to show off. I walked away to try and be seen. I stood up straight and crossed my arms over my chest, glaring as I tried to look as scary as possible.
"Okay men! When you answer questions you answer with yes sir or no sir, and no mumbling. Hesitation of any kind is bad. Especially on the battlefield. Yes, I said battlefield. The Teutonic Order is also called Teutonic Knights. Knights carry swords. They're not just for show. Any one of my men are deadly with such a weapon. However, unlike those losers, we have a reason, a cause. That cause is Our Heavenly Father. We fight and we die for him. The others? They do it because they want to! They do it because they can!" I turned and started pacing back and forth in front of them, hands behind my back now and my head held high.
"As a Tectonic Knight, if in fact you do manage to become one, have one major rule - besides those in the bible. That rule is chastity-" Not that I know what that is. "-and obedience and-" Crap! What was the third one?! "- holiness!. What does this mean? Chastity means you are married only to the church, to the Pope. You are married to God. Look around you. Are any of you women? Of course not! Women provide nothing but temptation!" I don't know what type of temptation but that's what I was told. "Women are not allowed in the Teutonic Order. Unless you are already married, you will not be allowed to once you enter. Obedience! I'm in charge here, and don't you forget it! No matter what anyone else tells you. You saw how quickly Reginald obeyed. You are expected to do the same! Don't like it? Tough! You will obey everything that I say, especially when it comes to the battlefield. Hesitation of any kind on the battlefield will end in death! That is to be expected as much as the taxes that people pay is expected! Do I make myself clear?" There were some agreements but some were just staring. I glared. "I can't hear you!" The ones who spoke agreed together. "I can't hear you!" Finally I got what I wanted.
"Yes sir!" They all shouted. I smirked.
"Good! Good job men! Now I know that holiness is hard but I only expect you men to do your best! To do your best when it comes to following the bible. You will attend church, and you will pray. You will behave like a good Catholic! Or strive to. Perfection is to never be expected when it comes to these things. However, breaking any one of the Ten Commandments and you will answer not to me but to the Grand Master and the Pope! May God save your soul if you break any one of the rules." That got my desired effect. Some of them looked terrified. "You will wish that it was I who disciplined you." The door opened and Reginald came back out with Kasimir, Madelhari, Hadumar, Clovis, and Jarvis. "Now I am handing you off to my elites." My men either ruffled my hair or smiled at me as Reginald motioned me to him. I walked back to Reginald.
"These men will test your strength, will, and endurance. Those of you who fail these tests will not be allowed to stay. Those of you who succeed will face even harder tests to come, set by our very own Grand Master." Some of the men looked absolutely terrified.
"I wish you good luck men!" I called. I then walked back to the castle. Regi smiled and chuckled once the doors were closed.
"What did you say to them to get that reaction?" I smirked.
"Only the usual."
"You always change your introductory speech."
"Yeah."
"Did you threaten them?" I blushed and giggled before nodding.
"Yes. I did. I told them that if they were to break a rule that they would wish I could punish them in Siegfried and Gofried's stead. Then proceeded to say that they should pray for their soul." He tsked.
"Gilbert, you naughty boy." He gently cuffed me before smiling. "Why don't you go play Gilbert? I have some business to attend to." I frowned.
"Why are you all busy all of a sudden? Is there something special about the new recruits?"
"No, it's a combined effort of the new recruits, the captured pagans, sinners, and Gofried needing some help."
"I thought we didn't take prisoners- are they in the dungeon?"
"These have hope to be converted, and don't you dare go there." I beamed and threw myself at him, tugging on his tunic eagerly.
"Let me convert the unholy demons! I can do it!"
"No, these heathens are not to be handled alone."
"But Siegfried taught me how to convert the pagans himself! I can handle the filthy heathens, honest! Please!"
"I absolutely forbid it." I glared at him. I released him at once.
"Fuck you! You can't make me do anything!" I was quickly placed under his arm as he delivered five swats to my bottom. I yelped and cried out before he set me on my feet. I rubbed my bottom as I glared at the floor.
"I said no. Now go play. If I discover you disobeyed me I'll be forced to tell Siegfried of today's behaviour." I groaned, now pouting.
"Nooo! Don't tell Siegfried." I whined.
"Then don't disobey me." He kissed my forehead before walking off. Today sucks! I have to find a way to make it awesome! I walked around the castle and stopped once I found Koen.
"Koen?" I asked, wondering if he'd tell me more about the child store. He turned and saw my face. He crouched and held out his arms.
"Come here, Gilbert." I ran into his arms and wrapped mine around his neck. I felt tears I didn't know I had begun to roll down my cheeks. "Tell me what's wrong."
"Today sucks. First Siegfried leaves and then Reginald acts like a dick. It's not fair. I'm just trying to have fun. They just don't understand." He sat down and pulled me into his lap, hugging me to his chest.
"What did Reginald do?"
"He showed me off like a bloody show pony and then got mad at me when I told him I knew how to handle pagans. Siegfried taught me himself, he even said he was proud of me."
"Siegfried left to go help Gofried handle some requests for help, some newly born Catholics, and a meeting with Hariwini."
"I hate Hariwini. He's mean."
"You said Reginald got mad at you? I heard about the sword and Izaak. From Izaak himself. I think he got mad because he's trying to protect you. He's scared for your safety."
"I can protect myself."
"I know. Sometimes Reginald forgets. He sees you as a child, an adorably sweet one. He would hate to see you get hurt. We all would."
"I guess that makes sense." I said as my tears stopped.
"I'm glad." He released me.
"Koen? What more do you know about the child store?"
"Child store?" He sighed. "Yeah. The thing about that is… it doesn't really exist. It was a cover story. Kids come from God." I froze.
"You… lied to me?" I jumped away from him, hurt. He reached out for me but I yanked away.
"Gilbert, let me explain!" He urged, still trying to get a hold of me. I spun and ran from him, furious and hurt. Everyone's being a dick today! I made my way to the front door and ran from the castle. I didn't bother to set up my horse. I just got on and rode off to go find a place to hide. To think. I made it to the other side of the city before I slowed down. I wish Liron and Felix were here.
I laid down on my horse for a while as I thought about what happened today. I could call for Gilbird. I had to go back. Siegfried would be mad if he got home and I was gone. I sat up and trotted my horse back to the castle. I put my horse up but stayed in the stables. With my horse. I played with my pony and that made me feel better. I crept up to its ear and whispered.
"I love you." He flicked his ear and I ran off to get sugar cubes and carrots. I came back and my horse was happy. It started munching. Then I decided that I would play a game by myself. I'll pretend to be a viking. Or an Old Prussian that Gofried was talking about.
Once he was done eating I made my way to the castle gate to sneak out and do some reconnaissance. Though I ran right into Siegfried. I smiled and ran past him. "Oh no you don't." He said as he scooped me up. I laughed as he scooped me up by the back of my tunic and cape. "Just where do you think you're going?" He asked once he was carrying me back to the castle. I smiled.
"I'm an Old Prussian. You're the Grand Master of the Teutonic Knights. That makes you my enemy!"
"Well I've managed to capture you. What do you plan to do?"
"Fight you!" I playfully beat on his chest. He smiled.
"Convert or die, child."
"You win. Your Holy Powers are too powerful. I wanna play viking! That makes you Odin!"
"I hope not. Odin is a false God."
"We're just playing." He smiled.
"I got you a present." I cheered up immediately.
"A present?" He set me down and pulled out a bag from which he pulled out a sheepie. A stuffed one.
"This is for you." He held the sheepie out to me. "What are you going to call him?" I smiled.
"I'm going to call him… Baayrd. He sings the Lord's praises in sheep speak! Baa! Baa!" He grabbed my hand and began to lead me.
"Me leaving wasn't that bad. Not only did I return but I brought you a present."
"I have already forgiven you. Just like I forgave everyone else today."
"What? What happened while I was gone?"
"I can't tell you. Tattle tales have no friends."
"Gilbert, what happened?" I hugged my sheepie and stuck my head up like before with the recruits.
"Hmph." I walked on as he stopped but he didn't release my hand. I pulled but he just picked me up.
"We'll go ask Reginald and Izaak."
"If they tell you I won't be friends with them for a few days."
"Don't be a mean."
"I do what I want." Siegfried easily found Izaak.
"The recruits are ready for you, Grand Master."
"What happened while I was away? Did Gilbert get into a fight? He's being awfully cryptic." Izaak was confused.
"I don't think anyone here would start a fight with him. Why? Did Gilbert say something?"
"He said he already forgave someone. Perhaps Reginald would know. Where is he?" Izaak frowned.
"The recruits are waiting on you sir." Siegfried paused, nodded once, and handed me over to Izaak.
"Tell him I'm looking for him." Siegfried ordered as he left for the courtyard. I looked up at Izaak. He smiled.
"Can we go watch? I wanna see their faces when Siegfried shows up."
"Sure. Will you tell me what happened?"
"Koen told me the truth, I overreacted."
"The truth about what?"
"Where do kids come from? Child stores don't exist."
"Hospitals."
"Yeah but they have to arrive first right?"
"That's an interesting question. So Regi won't know what you're talking about either. That's a first."
"So I won't have to tell Siegfried. He'll be asking the wrong questions." I beamed. "I'm awesome! I tricked him!"
"Hey! That's not nice." Izaak scolded lightly. I dropped my smile. Izaak was one of those who rarely scolded me. So that must really not be nice.
We made it to the courtyard but instead of going out we watched from the window. I put my hands up on the window and stared out. The men looked absolutely terrified.
"Hello men. I'm the Grand Master of this Order. That means you lot answer to me." The men looked absolutely terrified. He was repeating what I told them. "What's wrong? You all look like the wrath of God has fallen." They tried to compose themselves. "That's better. Relax. Don't be afraid. I'm not here to hurt you. That would not be a good way to treat new recruits."
"Gilbert." I jumped and spun to see Regi. I sighed.
"Oh. It's just you. Yes Regi?"
"How are you doing? Koen told me what happened. Koen has decided to tell the Grand Master and Gofried of his sin. That he lied." I gasped, horrified.
"No! He'll get disciplined! He won't be able to sit for a week. Even I know, kind of, not to lie to someone." They both chuckled.
"Yeah. Koen's much too old for Siegfried to spank, I assure you. Not that I know how Gofried will react but I doubt he'll attempt that either."
"So if I get to be as old and tall as Koen I'll be much too old to spank too? If that's not what's going to happen then how do you guys get punished?"
"Yep. Once you're an adult you won't have to face spankings. You'll be punished the same way we are."
"Which is how, Izaak?" I begged, reaching up to his shoulders. He sighed.
"Well one punishment is to eat on the floor." I frowned.
"That doesn't sound bad. It sounds fun."
"Alone."
"Still sounds fun."
"Even if you're not wearing your tunic?"
"Yes. I don't see why you guys would complain… or is it because you're bigger and your mouths are higher than mine."
"It's supposed to be humiliating. It's not exactly just one time. It's for a set amount of time."
"Why? Some of the peasants eat on the floor if they eat anything. Or is that the homeless?" Regi cuffed me gently before Izaak replied.
"Don't call them peasants, call them citizens. Did you catch what I said? Not wearing your tunic is another form of discipline."
"Like being disowned. I don't understand you guys. None of that sounds too bad."
"It's supposed to be humiliating, to hurt your pride."
"Adults are weird. I have pride, that treatment wouldn't hurt it."
"Okay… well… what about acquittal, fasting, or penance?"
"Fasting means more time to play but I'll need you to define a-ack- the a word and penance again."
"Acquittal is not a punishment. It is to be found innocent." Regi replied.
"Penance is kind of a self discipline. You tell Gofried what's wrong and he releases you from sin, with the help of Our God."
"Doesn't sound that bad." Though I personally have a hard time admitting my wrong doings, though those were few. "I'd rather do that than face the punishment Siegfried gives me." I was quiet for a minute, mustering my courage to hear the answer to my question. "Wh-what's going to happen to Koen?"
"Most likely that of the one, two, or three day penance." I relaxed.
"You guys could just forgive him. It's the Christian thing to do." I told them, knowing it sounded manipulative.
"For every crime there is a punishment."
"But Jesus said to forgive seven times seven times." Or something.
"Don't you quote bible scriptures at us. It's Siegfried's decision." No fair! He's harder to manipulate!
"Besides, it's seventy times seven."
"Fine. You guys are jerks."